Wow.
I understood that some would not be interested in the story, and considering the show has been over for some time now, I accepted that the feedback would not be the same however, I was wrong. It's better.
Thank you for the wonderful words and encouragement.
PS: I saw some of the reviews, and just for clarification. Olivia kept the baby, the abortion did not happen. And Olivia reaching for the moonshine was more about her being in the heat of the moment, and not thinking. Fortunately, she stopped herself from making a mistake. This story is about redemption, and life giving us a second chance.
One last thing, I have been moved by rewatching Beyonce's 'the gift' and if you have the strength please do listen to 'the otherside' while reading this chapter.
Until next time,
muse xoxo
Previously:
She finds a seat and breathes a sigh of relief. Her adrenaline has been pumping so forcefully into her that she hasn't had the time to process what just happened to her, to them. In a matter of hours, her world came crashing down on her, leaving only casualties in the aftermath.
Olivia is unsure about many things, but one thing she knows to be certain is that her time has run up here. She can't stay here. She can't be consumed with him anymore, not again.
She opens her window cover and looks at the airport. Olivia Pope is starting over, and this time for good. No Jake, no Rowan, no distractions, just her.
She's still not exactly sure how she found herself here, after she left the White House, she had the white house staff move her belongings back to her apartment, but she didn't make the trip back home. Carrying only the clothes on her back and her purse, Olivia made the difficult decision to leave and not look back.
She opens her purse that contains her new passport and new life in it.
Her hand grazes the item, smiling at the prospect of a new beginning.
"It's just you and me now," Olivia whispers to the onesie in her hands.
X
She inhales and exhales deeply, the air crisp and clean.
She's made it.
She eye's her new home.
It's different.
The antithesis of what she imagined her first home to be and where she would be. But it's beautiful, simplistic. The one-story weatherboard home with a deep blue exterior paint color and white window panels highlights the warmth. The house has character, structure built to last.
This will be the place she calls home.
Her eyes water at her not-so-distant memories, but she doesn't cry. She cried enough on the nineteen-hour flight.
This was her fresh start.
Her chance to live.
"What do you think Ms. Price?" The realtor asked.
Olivia observes her area. To her north is the ocean, where she can see the waves hitting the shore and even smell the ocean water. To her west is the local markets.
"How many beds?"
"Three beds and two baths."
"The backyard?" Olivia asked.
"Why don't we go inside and take a look."
When she steps inside, Olivia gleams at the cleanroom, the pristine white walls with dark furniture, the TV on the wall, the extensive bookshelf. The main attraction being the crystal and metal orb chandelier hanging dead center in the living room, complemented by glass end tables and a metal coffee table to match. Something different from what she's used to. It's brighter than her apartment back in D.C. The sheer yellow curtains allow light to slip through the cracks and she doesn't mind.
"It's bright." Olivia laments
"You can never have too much light." The realtor chirps
Viewing her new home, Olivia has to agree.
A small symbol of a new cycle.
The realtor takes her around the house, it's bigger than what it appears on the outside, the rooms are larger, spacious. Her bathroom is perfect with a separate shower area and bathtub. The walk-in closet would be perfect for her shoes, and coats if she was still in DC.
After finishing the indoor part of the house, they open the French doors to the backyard, and Olivia's eyes glow for the first time since arriving.
The luscious green backyard is furnished with an underground pool and playground.
"So?" The realtor asked observing Olivia's facial expressions.
"It's perfect," Olivia whispers.
/
"Mr. President." Abby walks into the Oval office.
"Abby…" He stands up from his desk and walks over to the sofa, motioning for her to sit.
"You summoned me?" Abby asked sitting down on the sofa across from Fitz, who appears different. She can't put her finger on it, but he was in the office early, not making a ruckus but quiet, yet focused.
"I'm sure you know by now why I asked you to come here."
Abby looks at him bewilder "Come again?"
Fitz sighs sadly "Olivia and I…"
"What about her?" Abby asks, she knows the two have their share of issues, but she knows despite their problems there is real and true love. She watched her best friend and former boss, devote so much of her life to this man, keeping their private journey to only themselves. Olivia defended Fitz, protected him even if it meant harming herself and her gladiators along the way. Olivia has her issues, that is a given, but Abby knows where her heart lies. With Fitz.
Fitz elevates his brow at Abby's question "You don't know?"
"Know what?"
He scoots back in his chair in contemplation "I thought, Olivia, would have told you."
"Tell me, What Mr. President?"
His blue eyes turn back towards Abby "we broke up last night, she's gone."
Abby sits in silence with Fitz, neither speaking, both overwhelmed by the new information. There is a gnarling feeling eating at Abby, Olivia wanted Fitz, she wanted to be with him, she picked him. This isn't Abby assuming, Olivia confirmed this to be the truth, with her own words speaking of her desire. For Olivia and Fitz to have broken up when they love one another unnerves her, she knows Olivia was growing restless in the White House but not enough to end
something she had wanted for years.
"Why?"
Fitz shrugs as he gets up and fetches them a drink "We tried." He answers handing Abby a drink. It may be early but they both could use something to numb the blow.
"That doesn't make sense?" Abby answered.
Fitz takes a long sip of the scotch, allowing the brown liquor to burn as it glides down his throat "Olivia, didn't want this. She didn't want me. She wanted out and frankly, I did too."
Abby shakes her head in disbelief "She wanted you though."
"She wanted me when she couldn't have me. She likes me unavailable." Fitz sighs heavily, reliving the fight once again in his brain.
"Why didn't she tell me?"
"That I don't know. I assumed she called you last night, gloating about being free from her cell in the White House."
Abby doesn't respond, she is completely and utterly flabbergasted.
"What do you need?"
"I need you to make sure that America knows we are over. Olivia is going to go on living her life, and I will resume my life as President with my focus being on the people of the United States."
"I'll take to Stacey off records. She's our journalist from the New York Times."
"Good." Fitz nods, pleased.
"Are you okay?" Abby asked. To her shock, he appears fine, undeterred by the sudden loss.
Fitz smiles softly. "Never better. I have more important things to worry about than Olivia Pope."
/
She dials Olivia's number waiting for her dearest friend to pick up, but she doesn't.
"Hey Liv, it's Abby… Fitz told me about the breakup. I'm sorry that happened, look just give me a call. I want to know how you are doing." She hangs up and looks at her phone, that was her fifth phone call, and she forgot how many text messages she left her.
She's confused about her feelings. There is a part of Abby that is jumping up for joy at having Fitz back, the President is back and he's looking to her for guidance and assurance. She's thrilled about being his top dog once again, the job that went to Olivia the second she confessed to being Fitz's mistress.
Yes, she's happy to be rid of Olivia from a professional standpoint, she no longer has to fight articles and frivolous gossips about her, Congress will be able to breathe once again without Olivia's all-powerful presence looming over them and their dirty secrets.
To say Abby is disappointed would be a lie.
However, despite her and Olivia's issues and at times volatile relationship, she wants her friend to be happy.
She deserves to be happy.
And she knows despite Olivia's limitation with being forthcoming about her relationship with Fitz, she was happy with him, and he was happy with her.
But.
Abby also knows Olivia.
How can she forget, they were college roommates, and Olivia ate boys for breakfast: professors, teacher assistants, politicians. She couldn't commit to any of them long enough before growing bored and moving to the next.
But.
Fitz is different, he was different.
Abby never saw Olivia love anyone as much as she loves him. Fitz got through her wall when no one else could.
With a heavy breath, Abby looks at her phone and makes a mental note to visit Olivia at her home.
Abby knows Olivia will never admit this, but she needs friends, she can't wallow in work like she typically does. Work can't fix this.
Not again.
Not this time.
/
Exhausted by her travels and emotional turmoil, Olivia slept. Burying herself in the plush duvet covers, shielding her face from the sun creeping into her room. She slept over a day, waking only to use the restroom and occasional glass of water.
Her body and spirit were exhausted by the Olympic onslaught she endured recently. When her mother 'died' Olivia stayed in her room for over a week and slept, coping with her loss by a means of speeding up her time here on earth. Had her father not shipped her to a boarding school across the world, Olivia would still be in bed, replaying the day her life ended.
With the sun shining on her, she gathers enough strength to walk to her bathroom. Casually she throws her towel over the wooden countertops and quartz double sink, she plays with her clothes, somehow conflicted with what she may find underneath.
Olivia glances up at herself in the mirror. Her eyes are reddened, swollen. She looks a complete mess, her hair packed to her head, her clothes wrinkled.
This isn't the Olivia everyone knows and will remember.
Never taking her eyes off her reflection, she begins the painful process, one by one her clothes fall off her body, and her body sighs at the weight being removed. Observing her reflection in the blurred mirror, she gathers her remaining pride and opens the door to her shower door.
The strong water current soothes and beats her. Her eyes close as the water pummels down her body, with trembling fingers she gathers the soap and her washcloth and washes her body. She starts at her hands, then travels to her arms, her neck, before dropping to her bruised legs.
She pauses for a second.
Fitz, did a number on her body, closing her eyes she can still feel him on her, his weight both securing and suffocating her. The push to keep him away, yet the unholy desire to pull him closer. She shivers at their last time together, their decoupling proven to be both cathartic and unnerving.
The washcloth drops as her hands take over washing, she purposely avoids her stomach, she doesn't feel anything right now, but she knows there is life inside her. Despite her hostile environment, she is capable of creating and nurturing life.
The visceral pain it took to get here, her eyes clench at the recent memories washing over.
She lets out a jagged and shaky breath.
Her legs are spread wide open, her feet planted in the stirrups, she forces herself to check out. Resulting back to childhood trauma to endure the loss of losing someone precious. Her mind draws blank as she stares at the ceiling and the fluorescent lights beaming down on her. The lights are far too bright.
"You're going to feel some pressure." The doctor tells Olivia as she inserts the speculum inside. Her fingers blanch as she holds the handles, her body tightening at the foreign object intruding inside her most sacred place.
A tear trembles to the corner of her eye.
Inhale.
Exhale.
The distraction wasn't helping. She wipes the tear that escaped but more came and covered the one wiped away.
She stares at the bright lights focusing on the light at the end of the tunnel. She'll be okay. She'll push through like it never happened, and to everyone else, it never happened but for her... there will always be a part of her that knows what happened and what she lost.
"Stop," Olivia answers with irregular breathing.
Immediately, Olivia can hear the tools drop on the tray.
"Ms. Pope?" The doctor asked sitting up.
"I can't do this." Olivia whispers, she doesn't make any attempt to move, she can't.
She's frozen.
"Are you sure?" The doctor asked
Staring at the fluorescent lights "Yes, I am sure." Olivia answers firmly, moving to sit up and close her legs. " I want it." Olivia confesses
"Very well." The doctor responded moving up from her chair.
"Is it okay?" Olivia asked as she watched the doctor and her staff get up and leave.
"It's okay. You stopped us in the nick of time." She promises before walking out. "Congratulations, Ms. Pope. You are going to be a mother."
Leaning against the cool shower tile, Olivia cries as her tears merge with the water. With every breath she took, her resolve weakened. The reality of what she did and what has transpired manages to leave her gasping for air as she struggles to breathe.
Sliding to the floor of the shower, Olivia touches her stomach for the first time.
/
Perhaps still in the honeymoon phase, Olivia's begun venturing out. Taking this time to work on herself and her issues. To be.
Present.
In the moment.
She drops her car keys in the key bowl as she moves around her home, bringing in the new purchases she bought from the local market. She rinses the new blue glass vase she just purchased before filling it with water and dropping in fresh yellow tulips she just purchased at the farmer's market.
She inhales the heavenly fragrance. Thinking when was the last time she smelled a flower and listened to the birds' chirp.
She looks at the door with confusion, there's knocking coming outside her door.
No one should be at her door, she made a point to start over and this time it's real.
Grabbing a knife, she looks inside the peephole and opens the door.
"Hi!"
"Hello?" Olivia looks at the group of people at her front door "Can I help you?"
"Oh! I'm sorry, we are your neighbors. Well actually, Shane is your actual neighbor, but we live down the street."
"Oh," Olivia whispers unsure how to proceed with this conversation, she has never had a neighbor come over and introduce themself. The act seems kind yet unnerving to Olivia.
"We just wanted to come and welcome you to the neighborhood!" The young white woman with shoulder-length blonde hair says perkily with an accent. Wearing a white, floral-print silk-crepe blouse, and a matching floral silk-georgette maxi skirt and brown high leather heeled boots.
"Holy crap are you expecting someone to be kidnapped. That's a big knife!" The perky blonde asked noticing the sharp knife in Olivia's hand.
Looking at the object Olivia places it on the stand "no, I was about to cook." Looking at everyone "It's nice to meet you all." Olivia turns to the side and opens the door for her visitors "please come in."
The trio walks in carrying sandwiches and a fruit and vegetable tray.
"We bought you some dinner."
"Oh wow, that's a lot of food." Olivia exclaims. "please help yourself."
"We bought it for you." The other white girl says with shoulder-length black hair, her voice deeper than the blond but without the obvious accent. Her style is much different from the blonde. Wearing a black, linen-twill suit waistcoat and blue, striped wide-leg jeans and beige, split-toe leather ankle boots.
"Oh please." Olivia guides them to the kitchen, opening a cabinet and placing several plates down on the bamboo island for them to help themselves.
"Do you live here by yourself?" The young black male asked.
Olivia eyes him, he's tall and slim figured, rather pretty but not in a condescending type of way, his hair cut short in a taper fade, with a similar accent to the blonde. Wearing a blue, distressed denim jacket and matching distressed skinny jeans with a black, broken heart-print cotton T-shirt underneath, and black, lace-up leather boots.
He appears warm, they all appear friendly, kind.
"It's just me for now," Olivia answers softly.
"Well, that's good because it's just us, too!" The blonde chirps.
"Alice." The dark hair lady nudges her.
"Sorry, okay so my name is Alice." The blonde says happily, quickly wrapping her arms around Olivia who is shocked by the contact.
"Shane." The dark-haired woman says, extending her hand to Olivia who takes it with a firm hand of her own.
"Ryan." The brown-skinned male says with a smile.
They all stare at Olivia, waiting for her response.
"Sorry, Carolyn Price." Olivia answers.
"You are a long way from home," Alice answers detecting the American ancient.
"Aren't we all." Shane answers
"That is the plan," Olivia answers taking a sip of her water.
"Why New Zealand?" Ryan asked, "No one comes here to live, this place is known but also remote."
Olivia looks around her living room "that's why I like it." Olivia answers honestly.
New Zealand politics and people don't care much about America's social climate. With a female Prime Minister who is both strong and bold, she has managed to make her counterparts shiver at their inferiority in comparison to her brilliance. New Zealanders or as they call themselves kiwis have their own celebrities and known politicians. With Europe being too close to America, the Europeans are well aware of Olivia Pope, but here she's just Carolyn the newcomer. This was her place to be present, to plant-soil and marvel at the growth that she expects to come from it.
The group talks while Olivia mostly listens. Enjoying the sound of other people's voices besides her own and his playing in the back of her head. With each moment, Olivia found herself becoming more comfortable.
Her new phone vibrates beside her, reaching down she reviews a notification; Her and Fitz's breakup was making headlines in America. She fidgets at his quick press release before quickly shutting her phone, he didn't want her back and she surely was not going to return.
"So, you should hang out with us! We eat breakfast together every Saturday at this local café." Alice says quickly forcing Olivia to close her phone and stay present.
"Okay." Olivia agrees. Unexactly sure why she would agree to such a commitment, but her therapist told her she should start trying new things and being more forthright.
"Really!" Alice asked excitedly about the prospect of having a new friend.
"Yeah." Olivia answers "sure"
"I think you are going to like it here!" Alice says with excitement as Olivia walks them out.
With the door shut.
Olivia smiles for the first time since arriving.
"I think we are too."