Who would have thought I would be updating so soon. I know shocking. Let's just say I was listening to 'My Little Love' by Adele and all the feels came through. Has not been edited but this chapter is finish.

Be safe and be kind.

Until next time

Love,

Muse xoxo

Previously

X

Kissing Hope's cheek and fingers "it's just you and me, now. As long as we are together, I'm happy" Olivia whispers.

God she's missed her.

How can she miss someone she's never had?

But she misses her. Everything about her. Her scent, her cry, her touch. She's missed her baby.

Sitting on the bench in her shower. They are safe and warm. They sit there forever. And she'll sit there for as long as it takes for Hope to be okay.

Hope begins to squirm and the more Olivia tries to correct her, the faster she moves until she's finds Olivia's breast and her nipple.

With ease, she latches on.

Olivia hisses at, the initial shock. But she welcomes it. She welcomes her daughter.

They stare at each other, with equal understanding and acceptance.

For the first time since she gave birth, Olivia cries happy tears.

"We're going to be okay." Olivia promises.

X

Life has been different for Fitz.

Not weird, not bad, different.

He is different.

The starry-eyed lover boy, with a whimsical grin and boyish charm, is gone.

He's aged.

Eyeing himself in the mirror he notes his appearance. The dark circles under his eyes, his graying hair. Rubbing his chin, he acknowledges the small stubble on his face. Sadly that too will have to go. He doesn't exactly like the beard, but he wants one just because he's never had one. The president can't have a bad day, he can never look anything but regal. Strong, stoic always put together never falling apart. Lathering the shaving cream, he sharpens his blade.

Like clockwork, he begins shaving and starting his normal routine.

Wash, rinse, and repeat.

A hand comes behind him. Kissing his bare shoulder blades. He makes eye contact with the brown eyes, he smiles kindly at her.

Angela is good for him. Stable, career-driven, but not determined to cause chaos in her midst to win.

She's different then Olivia, and maybe that's why he likes her. It's not about passion but stability.

He makes her laugh, and her calmness has been a welcoming invitation into his world.

She's a real catch.

"Hi, honey."

"Hey," he smiles as he continues with his routine.

"Are you working late?" She asks kindly hoping to spend some extra time with him.

"I was planning on working late, in preparation for my G20 summit overseas…but" he stops shaving to pay attention to Angela, wrapping his arms around her he kisses her on the lips "If you need me to be here, I will."

She hugs him tightly, appreciative of him for being kind and understanding. It's not every day that the President of The United States is willing to do whatever you desire to make you happy.

"It's okay. You work and when you are done I'll be up here waiting." She kisses him again.

"Are you sure?" He questions. Since Olivia left, Fitz has made a point to work on himself. He attends therapy once a week, and exercises routinely. Therapy has taught him plenty. The sharpness between his hot and cold temperament. How he is smothering when he wants you, yet aloof when he has you.

Growing up rich, meant the world was always accessible to him, and 'no' was a foreign word that did not exist in his vocabulary. The world has always been his. The chosen son meant to be President. Or as they claimed, the second coming of JFK. They say heavy is the head that wears the crown. That is true, many clamor to be near his presence and to feel the power radiating from the 'President of the United States' but no one knows that it is a job that does not end. There is no 'clocking out'. For four years you are simply 'clocked in'. Forget over time that concept does not exist. His entire purpose has been to serve his country, he was created to be the president, but what becomes of him afterward?

Who is Fitzgerald Grant?

Therapy is helping him accept the uncertainty of life, and despite the world being painted for him, there are parts of life that he simply cannot control.

Olivia.

Staring out the window, he searches for her. Wondering, maybe just maybe she's staring at the sun too.

He can feel the warmth of the sun hitting his ivory skin. He relishes the warmth and its comforting sensation. He wants to be in the sun, to feel the wind slapping him in his face, instead of the air conditioning cooling his skin and his White House blocking his view.

The future is scary for him. The cloak of uncertainty weighs heavily on him, yet it is exciting to think about what can be.

What can he be?

What will he do?

Try to be free.

He's been caged for so long, that he's uncertain if he truly wants to be free. His therapist said he placed Olivia on a pedestal and on that pedestal was a singular person who contained the secrets of the universe, and all his desires and dreams. Olivia, was his security blanket, as long as she was there he was fine. But without her. Who is Fitz?

He's been working on his self-discovery. The Innocence Project has left a lasting impression on him, that he finds himself thinking about using his power to target the justice system that ignores the people who don't look like him. He's made a point of getting on the TV and personally advocating to find a young black girl, who was kidnapped. Does it erase his ignorance all these years? Of course not.

But it's start.

Olivia…his door marked 'exit'. She was his great escape. He's aware that he was a burden to her and his daydreams about them being together added unnecessary pressure to her. He was married, what could he possibly give to Olivia? Marriage? Time ? Devotion? Absolutely. He would fall asleep to her face every night and wake up to her smile. But it wasn't enough. But they couldn't let her go. When he met Olivia, life suddenly made sense, he was meant to be president and he was meant to be hers. And for the first time in his life, he wanted someone; desperately. That he worked to earn her, to gain her love and support.

Without Olivia leaving the door open, he has to try and find a new way.

A new path towards freedom.

He took Olivia for granted. The White House wasn't her place, but he wanted it to be hers, he wanted her to be his home. But it was too much. He was too much. He gets it now. He wishes she could have told him, how she felt. That she didn't want his child, that she didn't want him.

Rejection hurts.

To his surprise, his breakup with Olivia didn't break him. He supposes it's impossible to be broken when you are already broke.

Losing Jerry, nearly killed him. He wasn't the best father. He could have been better, but he thought they had time. To hold your son in your arms as they die. It's not fair. He regretted meeting Olivia, he would never tell her but they could have avoided a lifetime of pain if they never laid eyes on each other. But they did. And because they fell in love, his son had to pay the price. It's not Olivia's fault, she is the victim of her parent's cruelty as much as he was.

What could've been…

He does hope that wherever Olivia is, she is free of Rowan.

That would be his gift if he could give her one besides happiness.

Freedom.

He hopes she is free.

/

"This summit is going to be huge, Mr. President," Abby exclaims excitedly

Fitz smiles happily "I'm looking forward to discussing climate control and assuring our allies of our sworn oath to protect one another. But you know it's a big charade."

"Yes, but it is these biggest Charade" Abby explains "Everyone is going to be pushing to stand next to you. America is the pinnacle of democracy. It is the land of the free."

"If we are the land of the free, then why do we continue to spread propaganda and hide the truth of 'America's' Origins? " He rolls his eyes annoyed. "I'm sorry. If I can push our agenda and ensure Americans can sleep well and peacefully at night, then I have completed the task."

"Exactly" Abby stares at Fitz. He's changed after Olivia, he's older and wiser. More receptive to other people's thoughts and suggestions.

He watches Abby work across from him. He shouldn't ask but he can't keep ignoring that she called him. Months have passed, and he's tried. He tried desperately to ignore her, to pretend she didn't exist. But all he can hear is the phone ringing in the back of his head, telling him to pick it up.

"Abby?"

"Yes. Mr. President?"

"How is she?" The question came out so softly that Abby requested that he repeat it.

And so he does.

They stare at one another, and after months of silence, they acknowledge the elephant.

"Olivia?"

"Yes, how is she?" His voice comes out gentle, and kind. There is no anger or venom but genuine curiosity.

" I don't know sir."

His brow raised in shock "You mean you haven't heard from her?"

"No sir." Abby's head falls as though she has let him down. How can she not feel that way? Olivia was her best friend, she was the girl who beat her ex and threatened to kill him if he ever laid hands on her. She was the gladiator who fought all the monsters. She was her best friend, but the sentiments weren't reciprocated.

"I thought you had heard from her by now."

"No. I am just like you. OPA hasn't heard from her either, Quinn has tried finding her but the mistakes she made last time she disappeared…she corrected them."

They stare at one another.

"Olivia called me…"

"Really?"

"Yeah." Fitz walks over to his bar pouring him and Abby a drink. It's late and they need it.

"Did you answer it?"

"Nope." Handing Abby the drink he sits adjacent to her on the couch.

"Why not?"

He takes a sip. "I don't know…I was scared…of falling back into my old habits. I'm just starting to get my life together and here she comes… wreaking havoc…I just don't want her to think that she has some hold over me. That I will jump whenever she tells me to."

She gives him a look, and they both laugh.

"Not anymore" Fitz clarifies "She does not have that power over me anymore" he takes another long sip trying to prove more to himself than to her.

"What do you think she wanted?"

"I don't know." He takes a moment "and that's what scares me the most. For months I've been up thinking about her. Is she safe? Is she happy? What can she possibly call to tell me now? That she got married and is having a baby?" That last sentence hurt coming out of his mouth, but there is relief in acknowledging what may be.

Olivia may be calling to get closure and to tell him 'no hard feelings.' Perhaps he needs closure too.

But he does want it.

The dream is dead, but he can't lose that small ounce of hope.

"You should call her?" Abby offers "Hear what she has to say."

Fitz finishes his drink before getting up and filling his glass up again.

"I don't want to hear from her though." He answers honestly "I have something great with Angela, my approval rating is better than ever before. I am focused and where I need to be. Olivia's calling is a test, and I have to move on. This just proves I'm not over her. And I hate that." Fitz turns to look at Abby.

"Do you still love her?"

"I'll always love Olivia Pope. I just hoped for a better ending for us, but that's life."

"Hasn't enough time passed? To hear what she has to say?"

Fitz stares out the window "She called me, and I kept ignoring her call…how will I look calling her now?"

"I think the two of you owe it to yourself to hear the other person out."

/

Brushing his teeth, he looks in the mirror.

"I was thinking."

"Yeah." Fitz smiles

"Maybe we should leak to the press corp that you are dating someone…maybe a certain FBI director."

He eyes Angela. She is beautiful. Warm, mature, understanding, and by far the most accomplished woman he has ever dated and that includes Olivia. She's perfect. She is not intimidated by his power, as she has her own.

"You think it's a good idea?"

"I hate you going on these fake dates with these different women."

"I do too. But 'officially dating' is a death sentence for me.

"Why?"

"You saw me and Olivia."

"Yeah…about that…whatever happened to her?"

'Damn' he's gone over a year without saying her name, now it falls out of his mouth as though second nature.

"I don't know…" he walks out of the bathroom. He can't seem to escape her now that he opened Pandora's box.

"You don't find it odd?"

"That a woman would run away from me? No." Fitz smiles pulling back the covers and getting in bed.

"Do you want me to find her?" Angela moves sitting in the bed next to him.

"No. Olivia is where she needs to be. And I am with who I need to be with." Kissing Angela on the lips he ends the conversation before it could begin.

With the lights out, the only source of light comes from the moon staring back at him and the tree branch slowly swaying with the wind.

He's ready to be free.

/

Her Fitz phone vibrates next to her.

It terrifies her, the sound is so foreign that she forgets the ringtone.

She eyes the black brick with disgust in dread before grabbing it and placing it on her nightstand dresser.

What can he possibly want to talk about now?

He had his chance, and he blew it. She's over him. She doesn't hate Fitz, but she's indifferent. There is a part of her that is thankful that Fitz gave her a parting gift before they went their separate ways. He took a piece of her heart, and she took something from him.

A wave of emotions washes over Olivia. How dare he call her after months of ignoring her call? What gives him the right? Why must everything be when he wants it?

She walks away from her bed and goes to wake up Hope from her afternoon nap. Olivia has had to learn everything. How to cook, how to clean, how to love…he left her all alone, and it doesn't seem fair that he can call and disrupt her peace after ignoring her for all this time.

They arrive home, later that night.

The phone was too tempting for Olivia to ignore, so she grabbed Hope and they went over to Ryan's house to spend the day with him and his boyfriend Terrance.

Stability.

That is what Hope has given her, stability and the freedom to love completely. Like clockwork, they take a bath together, and Olivia rubs Hope with her oils and lotions before putting on a fresh diaper and pajamas. Once snuggled in bed, she read her a bedtime story as she nursed her to sleep. Her pediatrician said nighttime nursing isn't good as it can lead to unhealthy attachments, but she disagrees.

There is nothing unhealthy about her love for her daughter. She wraps the light brown curl around her finger, the same way she would play with Fitz's hair when he was struggling to go to sleep.

She's perfect.

Large brown eyes, and olive skin. She and Fitz are not perfect, but they made something beautiful and perfect out of their imperfections.

The phone rings again inside the drawer.

Placing her book down, she grabs the phone in fear of it waking Hope.

She eyes the unknown number, her nostrils flare in anger. It's him. Calling again from his secured line.

What if Fitz knows about Hope?

He can't possibly know about her.

But what if he does?

Enraged, she walks into the kitchen with her phone and book in hand and begins slamming the book against the phone. How dare Fitz call her after all this time? When she has finally picked the pieces of her life together and can mold herself together partially to raise their daughter.

Fitz can't find her. He can't have Hope. He missed his chance, she tried to do the right thing, but his time is over. And Hope belongs with her now. He can't come into their life and take Hope from her family, from the people who love her. It won't happen. She won't allow him, if she has to she will run away again.

Looking at her fake passport, she wonders how quickly she will be able to get Hope a passport. She can call Huck…He knows where she is, and helped plan her escape. They don't talk or stay in communication, but he knows that she is out there and he's waiting for her signal.

She holds her phone in her hand and dials Huck's number. She's tired of running away, she doesn't want Hope to think she has to run too. But if she doesn't run, then he will catch her.

'Fuck' Olivia yells outside.

"Fuck you, Fitz. I am not letting you take my family." She cries wiping her tears. Mentally already preparing to fight Fitz for Hope.

'We have to leave." Olivia whispers.

/

Walking around the 'Farmer's market' she is free. Wearing a large beige floppy hat, with Hope strapped to her chest. They walk around the endless idles of vegetables and fruit.

"Why are we here?" Alice asked for the hundredth time today

"Because this is Hope and I's a happy place," Olivia says excitedly eyeing the bright red apples.

"It's boring." Alice pouts.

"This is exhilarating "Grabbing Alice's arm they walk hand and hand. Sampling and trying the new food from local farmers.

"We are meeting Ryan and Shane at your house afterward right?"

"Yes, I promised to take you and Hope to swim. Plus I have to tell you guys something."

"Okay good." Alice exhales loudly

"Al, this is fun."

"The only person enjoying it is you."

"No, Hope loves it right 'baby'" kissing her daughter on the top of her white hat.

"Hope is perfect," Alice answers

"She is." Olivia agrees holding Hope's small hand with her finger at seven months old, her personality is beginning to show.

Hope is the physical embodiment of her and Fitz's unholy union. The truest token of their love. The forbidden and sacred child created in the White House, with the President's mistress. It's every bit as scandalous as it sounds, and she would expect nothing less for the two of them.

She knows his G20 Summit is coming, and he will be close to her. Too close actually that she feels uneasy about his soon arrival in the coming week. Time is not on her side, which means she has to act quickly. Fitz will be too busy holding meetings and press conferences with all the World Leaders to come and find her, but it's a chance she refuses to take with Hope.

Fitz can continue with his life, and Olivia will gladly do the same.

They loved each other, and they lost each other.

There is no point in crying over spilled milk. Her tears have long dried, and she is moving on with her life. She's seen the press clippings about Fitz and Angela.

Her college rival is dating the love of her life. It would be fitting that Fitz would date her enemy. That woman was always after everything she had, including boyfriends.

Fitz has claimed Angela as his girlfriend to the world. And she will claim their daughter as hers, and hers alone.

Their past is their past, and she will not revisit it. She will carry on the secret that she gave birth to the President of The United States child. When the time comes, when Hope wants to know her father she will tell her, and allow her to decide whether to find him or not. But she will not share her daughter with the world. They have both made choices that changed the outcome of their relationship. Hope is not the exception.

Fitz will have Angela.

And she will have Hope.

Neither will be alone in this world.

That is fair.

Olivia stops for a moment, eyeing the tens of jars filled with jam.

"What"s wrong?" Alice asked worried.

"Nothing…it's just jam." Olivia laughs wiping the tear before it could fall down her face.

"You like jam?" Alice asked unsure.

"Yeah…I loved jam."

"Do you want to buy some?"

She ponders for a second but shakes her head "I'm good. Hope and I can start making jam at home." Olivia reaches down kissing Hope's cheek. Needing the reassurance that only Hope can give her.

After buying fruits and snack. They make the short walk to her house where Ryan and Shane are waiting for them.

Watching her family gather around her house laughing and swimming.

Olivia takes a moment.

'I'm going to miss this'.

Throwing on her sunglasses, she gets in the pool and begins to swim with Hope and Ryan, as Shane tends to the grill.

"How many burgers y'all want?' Shane ask

"Just make them all until we run out of meat."

"Okay!"

"How are Hope's ears?" Ryan asked holding Hope in his arms as they swayed in the water.

"Oh, she's doing fine! Look at how cute her earrings are."

"I couldn't see her cry."

"I know, you big baby." Olivia laughs remembering Shane had to go with her to get Hope's ear pierced since Ryan refused due to Hope being in pain.

"I just don't like seeing her hurt."

"I know. Me too. But I nursed her and I even added a little sugar on my nipple to take her mind off the pain."

"You are giving my goddaughter crack?" Alice yells overhearing the conversation.

"Shut up." Olivia and Ryan laugh "It's just Hope doesn't consume sugar so it took the pain away. And it was over in a few minutes."

"I can't believe you put sugar on your boobs" Shane laughs

"It worked!" Olivia argues "Don't knock if you haven't tried it."

The TV is playing in the background and everyone is so enthralled with their conversation that nobody hears Hope at first 'Dada'

"What is she saying?" Alice asked

"Dada" Hope says again laughing at her joke.

Alice looks up at the TV screen "Liv, what are you teaching this girl? She's over here calling The President of The United States 'dada'. If that's her dada then my father is Michael Jackson."

"I do see the resemblance" Olivia laughs

"You better get this baby, a daddy before she starts calling any man she meets that." Alice quips taking a sip of her Corona.

"She's fine." Olivia placates Alice. Before rocking Hope in the water. "Right Hope."

With everyone eating. Olivia takes the moment to put this cherished memory into her long-term memory.

"I wanted you all here because I have to say something."

One by one everyone stops eating to look at Olivia.

Tears begin to fill her eyes.

"I have enjoyed knowing all of you, and loving you…but I'm afraid that Hope and I are going to be having to leave soon."

"What! Why!" The trio shouts in shock

Olivia begins to fidget with her ring, purposely avoiding looking them in the eye.

"Well…"

There's a knock on the door.

"Who is that?" Olivia asked scared

"I invited Terrance over, he was coming after work."

"Oh.." Olivia walks over to the door and opens it without thought.

"Hey, Terrance. We are in the back," she says turning around.

"Hi"

With her mouth open she stares at him in disbelief.

He found her.

"Hi"