The moment she'd sent the letter, more of a notecard really, she'd began pacing the room. She could not say, even five seconds after sending it, why exactly she did so. Was she insane? And now here Narcissa was in the flesh, in her apartment. Her eyes were no less hypnotic and her features still graceful, though she seemed to have added a worry line or two. Her heart was pounding and she wasn't sure if it was anxiety or a subtle rage that was beginning to well in her chest.

Almost as though her emotions were broadcast on her face (they probably were), Narcissa looked crestfallen and Hermione wondered what exactly the woman was thinking.

"I see you are still upset with me."

Hermione's jaw twitched and she asked with genuine curiosity, "What did you expect?"

An elegant shrug accompanied Narcissa's answer. "A myriad of things: a slap to the face, a kiss. I feared apathy."

Hermione scoffed, "Sadly, I don't think I could ever look at you and not feel something." The words left her in a rush, as though she'd just finish a marathon. Her chest tightened and her breath seemed to come too quickly.

"What do you feel when you look at me, Hermione?" Narcissa asked. The look on her face suggested she knew exactly what Hermione felt.

Hermione shook her head, "You don't get to ask me that."

Narcissa blinked but otherwise seemed unbothered except Hermione knew her too well. She could see the woman was anxious. The frost rolling off her in such a 'relaxed' setting was proof enough that she was forcing an emotional distance.

"Very well." She murmured and Hermione ignored the her reaction to that voice. "What feeling led you to invite me here, tonight?"

Hermione's eyes closed as she felt all too intensely the answer to Narcissa's question.

"Madness." She said and shook her head with a tiny laugh. "Sheer, utter madness." She stood, "Would you like a drink? Water, whiskey, wine?"

Narcissa nodded, "Yes, please. Water. I need a clear head, I think."

Hermione snorted, "That makes one of us." She walked to the kitchen sink and bent over it while she filled Narcissa's glass. "Idiot." She muttered. "I'm a bloody idiot." She abruptly shut off the tap.

She walked back in and set the glass down then walked over to a nearby cabinet and poured herself a glass of whiskey.

"Why am I here, Hermione?"

Hermione shrugged. "I don't really have a plan. I invited you on impulse."

Narcissa shook her head, "Is there nothing you want to say to me?" she asked.

"Plenty." Hermione answered but said nothing else.

Narcissa sighed and released a tight smile. "Then why hold yourself back? Speak. I will listen."

Hermione downed her glass and set it on the table non too gently.

"I hate you." She said and watched Narcissa's eyes close, "I hate what you've done. How you've done it. I hate that I can't stop thinking about how you kissed me. I hate how badly I want to hug you. I hate that I can't just knock on your door and say "Hey Narcissa, wanna go on a date with me?" I hate that you tore us apart like this and I don't even know how or if I should get us back. I hate that I can't hate you."

She stood and paced behind the couch she was just sitting on.

"I hate your eyes. I hate that the image of you on that bed is seared into my mind. I hate thinking about you every night. I hate turning down great jobs in foreign countries because I might never see you again. I hate that you never called or came to see me and apologize. I hate that we were both waiting for the other to make a move. I hate all of it! I hate how many times I've considered grabbing a time turner and breaking all kinds of laws just so I could have you in my arms again. I hate – "

She stopped her ranting when she turned to find Narcissa right in front of her. The blonde grabbed her by the arms and yanked her into a fierce hug.

"I'm sorry." She said tearfully. "I'm sorry."

Hermione let herself be hug but did not reciprocate.

"Narcissa," she sighed, "You-you really hurt me. And I've never…I don't…I don't know how to proceed."

She resigned herself to her fate as Narcissa pulled her back to the couch and they sat together.

"If you could have anything right now Hermione, no matter how wrong it feels or how confusing it is, what would it be?"

Hermione sniffled and mumbled, "The ice cream in my freezer."

Narcissa smiled and pat Hermione's hand as she stood. When she returned, ice cream in hand, she offered it without a word and Hermione was glad for it. She ate the ice cream silently ,and halfway through a tear fell into the tub of dessert.

"I didn't know." She said. "Didn't know I was gay until Ron asked me about…until he pointed out how the only thing I could look at that day was you." She wiped her eyes and sighed aggressively.

"What…what would everyone think of me, Narcissa, if I divorced my husband and years later announced my…my love for the woman he cheated on me with? The woman who betrayed me? I nuked my entire life because I was so hurt and ashamed. I can't just announce that we…that I…"

Narcissa took her hands again, warm after the ice cream and rubbed her thumb across Hermione's wrist.

"Are you saying," she cleared her throat, "that if you could have anything –'

"I would have you."

Narcissa's smile was blinding if a bit shaky and her tears fell at a rapid pace.

"That makes me very happy to hear, Hermione." She grabbed a nearby tissue and, with a few delicate sniffles, composed herself. "I doubt that either of us is capable of simply jumping back into where we were before, so you won't have to walk around explaining yourself. I've never known you to be so concerned with your image but if that's the case then If…if you wanted to take that job in some country far away, all you have to do is ask and I will follow you."

Hermione shook her head.

"I only wanted to leave to get away from you. Couldn't even do that." She said pitifully.

"Then, I think we should just start by getting lunch somewhere public as friends." Narcissa nodded to herself. "People will see that we are talking again. We can gradually work our way up to something more. Does this sound like something you could do?"

Hermione shrugged and looked away.

"I'm going to be selfish and take that as a yes. Friday afternoon, perhaps?" Narcissa said with no small amount of uncertainty. Such visible insecurity in the older woman was a rare sight. It made Hermione smile just a bit.

"Friday."

The smile she received in response was as much shy as it was pleased.

"I will see you then. Do you have anything else to say? Any questions? Requests? Demands?" Narcissa asked softly.

Hermione shook her head.

"You?"

Narcissa but her lip in return. "I have just one question." Hermione had a feeling it was no small ask. Throat dry, she sighed and waved Narcissisa on.

"Could I kiss you?"

She felt her heart stutter in her chest. Again. This woman wanted to kiss her again. She clearly had no idea what kisses did to Hermione. She closed her eyes and nodded.

After the lightest of pressure on her lips, the woman was gone. Hermione immediately pulled her back and extracted a real kiss. One that left her lips vibrating and her body confused. Was she angry? Was it too soon? Would it always be like this?

Narcissa seemed dazed herself and stumbled out of Hermione's front door.

"I, uh, will call you for…lunch."

"Sounds good." Hermione said and the moment her door clicked shut, sank to her knees to cry.