About a moon or two had passed since the day Starlingpaw was found by ThunderClan. Then, not even a day later, the former ShadowClan she-cat had pretty soon found herself being excepted into ThunderClan and becoming the second apprenticed to the Clan's medicine cat: A beautiful smoky-gray she-cat with bright blue eyes and a soberly twisted back left hind-leg named Cinderpelt. As fas as Starlingpaw knew, Cinderpelt was ThunderClan's only medicine ca since her apprentice, one of Firestar's daughters. Cinderpelt said her name was Leafpool: A very beautiful a light brown tabby she-cat with silky fur, a snippy attitude, and a pair of kind and free-spirited leaf-green eyes.
Leafpool had been, at one point, very close with her old mentor. However, that closeness didn't last much longer, and pretty soon: That trust was damaged somehow. Everything had started to change so drastically that nobody knew what to do, or even how to fix it. The grow distance between the two medicine cats only seemed to grow bigger and bigger over time. Eventually though, something inside Leafpool must've finally snapped, and the younger medicine cat had quickly began to grow listless with her duties. She had met a young WindClan tom around the age as her named Crowfeather during one of the many Gatherings with the four other Clans during every time a full moon appeared in the navy blue night sky.
Leafpool was smitten at first glance, and her growing feelings clouded her judgment. Long story short: Even though Leafpool had been trained under the older she-cat's gentle teachings, it was clear to any cat with a deviant brain that something along the way had snapped loose and whatever it was had been broken for the younger she-cat to go as far as to go off and break more than just one of the rules of the Medicine Cat Code by falling in love with a cat from another Clan. If that not bad enough: She did all of that on top of being a rebellious apprentice who'd just received her true medicine cat name only a few days before.
So, yes: Starlingpaw could say in total confidence that it's safe to say that she's one pretty lucky apprentice to have been the one chosen by a cat so well-respected by her clanmates as Cinderpelt was. It made a warm feeling spring up inside her chest when she thought about how fate had blessed her with such overwhelming joy by giving her a mentor in the form of the very cat whom Starlingpaw, herself, had formed a rather strong bond with after waking up in the older she-cat's den. Two sunrises had passed since that fateful day Starlingpaw had been picked by Firestar himself to become Cinderpelt's new apprentice. Starlingpaw is filled with overwhelming excitement at the prospect of finally getting a second chance to complete her training as a medicine cat apprentice under Cinderpelt's gentle guidance.
Under her mentor's teaching: Starlingpaw's skills will keep on growing with each passing day until Cinderpelt deems her ready to be given her true name as a medicine cat of ThunderClan alongside Cinderpelt herself. Along with her vast knowledge and skills in healing her injured clanmates, the sable-furred apprentice also know that her connection to StarClan is also strengthened with each passing day as well. the more she learns, the stronger her own journey
Dispite her overwhelming sandstorm blowing around like a raging blizzard in her skull at this very moment: She still can't fully stamp down the darker thoughts from federating back up at the forefront of her mind. She ccan admit , to herself at least, that she just maybe might be more than a little uneasy. The young she-cat took a deep breath to try and calm herself down, but it was no use. She was spiraling now, stuck in a never-ending loop of well-hidden darker thoughts that were always drifting on the edges her broken, frackchered mind.
She thought she was doing a pretty good job at keeping her darker thoughts at bay - and mostly to herself to hear her muffled cries in the middle of the night. But, if Starlingpaw is being compleatly honest with herself right now: She does steel fear deep down that if she makes one wrong move - that ThunderClan will toss her to the literal wolves to die just like her own birth Clan had done. In truth, she only power through whatever in the name of flying fire feather the universe decides to throughs at her because she's used to things not going her way.
Starlingpaw's mind twists and turns, flashes of long-forgotten memories come flooding back to the forefront of her mind, but no matter what she tried, the influx of memories just increased in speed and kept coming even faster than before. No matter how hard she's tried to keep the more painful bits and pieces of her past kept under a huge metal cage, sealing it seven tighter with tightly braided cords of metal chains. The horrific and bloody details of her earls memories back durning her younger kithood days: Those memories were filled with so much raw pain and fear, all anyone who wished to look would only see the eyes of a kit born only a few hours before, dark fur caped with dried blood and freshly bleeding wounds. The only sounds that were heard, was the pleading whales of a mother, and the loud, shrieking mewls and whimpers of a torched kit. A kit who was at most, only a few hours old as it shrieked and wailed Lille a dying piece of Fresh-Kill. being beaten and gagged.
Most of her earliest memories consist of unbelievable pain and misery: But it's the ones from her lithos that Starlingpaw can never block out nor attempt to permanently erase from her severely damaged and broken mind. A mind so damaged, that to protect itself from further harm: has form a caching around the subconscious that's as fragile of a mind as that of a newborn kitten. Her mind and spirt have both been so badly damaged, that each and everyone of her memories have been forever burned deeply into the edges of her mind for her to re-live again and again on those dark, cold, lonely nights when she can't sleep. Too many times to count the when her brain keeps her awake, making her too petrified to sleep from images of burning flesh and the desperate cries of a mother threatened into silence by her own flesh and blood.
The raw pain inflicted on her as a newborn kit are forever that have been forever burned into her skull play over and over again before her very eyes. Her fight or flight might begins to kick in as the rageing tempest of oppressed memories all coming crashing the young shecat's head like a huge riddle wave. Starlingpaw's throat began to close up, and she can feel breaths coming out faster and faster, nothing but keep going deeper and deeper into the dark depths of her self-conscious.
Her heart was pounding rapidly in her chest, and her were filled with muffled noises and a very loud ringing sound. while at the same time beginning to feel really nervous about how the rest of the Clan would react to the news about her being the only daughter of the very same former ShadowClan leader who was known by all the Clans as the cat who murdered kitsch without a second thought to the consequences.