Hello, and welcome to my latest story!
I'll be honest, this one has been done for...quite a while. At least for the most part. I started it back in 2022 I believe, as part of NaNoWriMo, and then it sat there for a while. RyuNoMe helped me fix the original ending, and has beta-read the whole project, so now we're finally here, uploading!
Be aware that this fic does treat the topic of dysphoria, and there are scenes of sexual and non-sexual (medical?) assault, but otherwise it's a little more on the silly, light-hearted side. Nothing too serious. A bit of a mixed bag, really. If you decide to stick around, I hope you nonetheless enjoy!

"Man, it's been ages since we've all sat down together."

There was a truth to that, Luka thought, chuckling as she slid into the booth. She was closely followed by Meiko, her oldest and best friend. Their other two friends, namely Cul who had just spoken, as well as Yukari, sat across from them.

"The older we get, the harder it is to get even a handful of friends in the same place at the same time," Luka commented with chagrin.

"I feel like we had to sweat and bleed to get us all here this evening," Meiko said.

"You mean to get Luka specifically to join us," Yukari said, fixing the ties around her light purple hair once she got seated.

"You get me," Cul said.

Meiko chuckled. "I don't know what you're talking about; I see her twice a week."

Cul stuck out her tongue. "Gym rats."

"I didn't come here to be bullied," Luka joked, though she allowed a slight heartfelt bitterness to enter her voice. "I might as well leave."

"No, don't you dare!" Cul exclaimed, already half-standing, ready to grab her. "Meiko, don't you let her leave."

The brunette leaned her head towards Luka, looking at her with a small smile. Her eyes, however, told of a deeper understanding. "Sorry bestie, you're staying."

"Woe is me," she deadpanned with a grin of her own. "So what are we having tonight?"

Cul picked up the drinks menu, which was nothing more than a laminated sheet of paper, and for a moment Luka could only see her sharp eyes and her headful of bright red hair above the plastic. Yukari leaned in to read next to her, the ties in her hair leaning with her. While they read, Luka took in the familiar bar interior: it was a typical hole in the ground with warm lights, dark wood, black walls, cheery crowds. It was just barely the kind of place where people could come dressed up, and most people met that expectation. Luka caught a few sparkling necklaces, tight-fitting dresses. With her own nice watch and bracelet, and slightly festive, slightly formal suit, Luka felt right at home. Meiko wore a pretty black dress of her own, while Cul had a sparkly corset on. Only Yukari didn't seem to care, sporting her ever-present hoodie and leggings. It didn't matter though; they were there to hang out and have a nice time, not to impress.

At least, not that evening.

"How about we just get a column of the house brew?" Cul said.

"A column? Are we that thirsty?" Luka asked.

"I could go for a bit," Meiko replied next to her, opening her bag to retrieve her pocket mirror. She touched up her dark red lipstick. "Might even try to get lucky."

"Ooh, staying up late," Yukari said with a waggle of her eyebrows. "What about you, Luka?"

While Luka briefly let her eyes float over the crowd, taking in the various solitary figures leaning against the bar and lurking in corners, she shook her head.

"Not tonight. I have work tomorrow."

"Sheesh, joykill much," Cul sneered. "Even when you do join us you're bound to leave early."

"I tried to work in advance, in anticipation of tonight," she said. "But we hit a snag."

"I feel like you're always hitting snags with your work," Yukari said, concerned. "Are you all right?"

"Thus is the nature of medicinal research, I'm afraid." Luka sighed dramatically, though she once again couldn't help let some honest pain seep into her voice. "It isn't a smooth ride, simple as that. However, I wouldn't be against the column. I just won't stay very late."

"I'll third that vote," Yukari said.

Cul put away the menu with a grin. "The column it is. So, what's the latest, ladies? Tell me your tales of woe, as Luka put it, and gossip a-plenty!"

Yukari started with her first story of the night, some drama at the printing presses, and her efforts to communicate how difficult colors were to an author who just wouldn't understand and ended up having, despite themselves, impossible requests.

"We finally got the red right, but then she wanted the blue to be different! And she just doesn't get that the color profiles, they, well... They just don't work like that!"

Luka did her best to listen, but as Yukari listed colors and named technical terms, her mind couldn't help but wander. It must have been obvious: Meiko placed a hand on her shoulder.

"You okay there bestie?"

"Oh! Sorry. I'm..." She sighed, realizing she got the attention of the whole table. "It's just work. The principal is breathing down my neck for results and we just can't get anything beyond wild speculation."

Meiko winced. "Mr. Shion being a pain? That sounds unlike him."

"It's just the season, with the finances. Without even the slightest results, we can't get an eye-opening article out, which means less money, which means the lab doesn't get as much support, which means fewer results... Meanwhile in the space industry, they just have to dust off the old folder with the one cool planet, publish it, and they have funding for another decade. Medicine is... It's tough."

Yukari whistled lowly. "I gotcha. Any promising leads?"

Luka blinked slowly. "Do you have time to talk about the synthesizing of various human tissues and their compatibility with current 3D printing technologies?"

"I might have the time, but it'd be wasted on me," Meiko said, waving her away. "I'm but a foolish museum curator."

Luka smirked. "I'm sure even a foolish museum curator could understand concepts so simple."

"Excuse me, Ms. Frankenstein, but my smarts cannot compare to yours."

Luka rolled her eyes, but she smiled. "Must I remind you, Ms. Picasso, that intelligence isn't so straightforward to measure?"

Meiko smirked, ready for the next line of their old, long-worn spiel, but then the waiter arrived at their table. Yukari quickly placed their order.

"All jokes aside, however, I don't feel like any smarts can help me fix this," Luka sighed. "It's eating me alive."

"Sounds awful," Cul muttered.

"So take the evening off," Meiko said to her. "I've also got my boss biting at my heels. Let go of some steam, be my wingman."

Luka raised a brow. "If we're both going to hope to get lucky, we'll be traveling to vastly different crowds."

Meiko shrugged. "Who knows? You're one gay woman in a regular bar. Doesn't mean you're the only one."

Luka let her eyes roam over the crowd again. There were quite a few beautiful women to behold, but she didn't think about it for too long.

"I can't. If I don't at least show up for my shift early, make a show of trying hard, Mr. Shion won't let me hear the end of it."

"Right, I guess I get it. You still okay for the gym in the evening tomorrow, then?"

"Oh yeah. The building shuts down completely at a certain point; overtime in the second half of the day isn't exactly possible."

"Good to know."

"Well, if you're not going to go for the ancient, tried-and-true method, I'd like to propose my latest innovation in relaxation technologies!" Cul said, taking out her phone.

"The internet?" Yukari asked, surely seeing her open a browser, or something similar.

"Better yet, cat videos! Here, I'll show you some of my favorites."

Luka frowned slightly. "Cat videos?" She vaguely remembered those being all the rage, back in the earlier days of the internet. There were entire trends when she was younger, before smartphones even came out. "I thought those were old news."

"Trust me," Cul said with a confident smile. "These things just don't age. Here's one!"

After a few taps, Cul turned her phone towards the others. Luka watched as someone held their pet cat above a small, miniature ballpit. Once the person released the cat, it fell into the pit, only to pounce away immediately, almost bouncing with an insane amount of energy. In the background, it fled, accompanied with the mirthful laughing of its owners.

"Look at him go!"

Luka raised a brow among snickers. "That hardly looks like a happy animal."

"Pff, you're a biologist, sure, but not a zoologist," Cul said. "Here, another one. And don't you worry, the cat doesn't actually cook."

They all watched as a cat was made to look like it tried a bunch of cooking life-hacks, the paws on-screen convincing but ultimately fake.

"What a cutie pie," Yukari whispered. "I had no idea the internet was so full of cats."

"The internet is known for cats, are you kidding?" Meiko laughed.

"Hey, I didn't grow up with the internet, alright? Total childhood hermit, here."

Luka watched, neutral, as Cul brought up a video of a cat walking down a hall, dressed in a variety of clothes.

"Do they enjoy being dressed up?"

"As far as I know, they don't really care," Cul said. "As long as the clothes don't get in the way, it's fine."

Luka hummed, while Yukari cooed at its sunglasses.

"I heard that mother cats will pretend to be hurt or surprised when their children practice hunting behaviors on them," she said.

"Really?" Yukari gasped. "Show, show!"

While Cul retrieved her phone to do a quick search, Meiko elbowed Luka with a snicker.

"You're the least pet-oriented person I've ever met."

"They're sweet," Luka admitted, under her breath. "But I find nature to be at its best when animals are allowed to exhibit natural behaviors. Not...dropped into ball pits against their will. Or dressed up like dolls..."

"As long as they're not hurt, what's the harm?"

"'Hurt' has a broad definition..."

Meiko elbowed her again. "Humor them. We haven't all gathered in ages. It's just a couple of videos."

"Here, look at this one!"

Expecting a clip of a big cat, Luka looked, only to see a pet cat curled up in a couch, meowing a surprisingly well enunciated and comprehensible, "I don't know."

Luka was not impressed, while Yukari immediately grabbed for the screen, amazed at how cats could apparently talk.

"So, Cul, what's the latest news with you?" Luka asked.

Cul handed Yukari her phone. "Me? Oh, you know. New school year, new students interested in fencing. Tons of kids who have no clue and who hope to be the next Peter Pan or Blackbeard. It's a wonder nobody got stabbed so far!"

Meiko laughed. "Isn't that your responsibility?"

"It is, and I worked really hard to maintain my standards!" Cul said, clenching a fist. "Maybe I can even make sure everyone keeps their eyes!"

Before anyone could reply, a column and four beer glasses were placed on the table.

"Sounds like we're all having a hard time, then," Luka said as she helped Meiko pour and spread the glasses.

"Bosses, kids, and authors," the curator laughed. "The trifecta of work enemies."

"Here's to an evening off to unwind!" Yukari said, returning her phone to Cul.

"Please, visibly, if we need to unwind, we'd need a full two weeks' vacation," the fencing instructor laughed. "One evening just isn't going to cut it."

"Amen to that," Luka said with a laugh. "Cheers."

"Cheers!"