Chapter 25 - Because I Love You

This had to be the weirdest feeling I had ever felt. I was walking back to Camp beside a girl knowing she practically loved me, and to be honest, I had absolutely no idea why I wasn't talking to her right now, let alone confessing my love to her. I suppose it was due to the amount of pressure I was being put under and I felt that I had to act completely natural around her, but how the hell was I supposed to do that? I suspected that Gracie was watching me and watching if I was going to be doing something endearing or not. Yes, I was crazily in love with her in return, but in this situation, I felt…I actually didn't know how I felt. As I said, this was the weirdest feeling ever.

However, what I suspected wasn't strictly true because when I kept on stealing glances at Gracie, I noticed that she looked a little washed out and…sad? I had no idea why she would be sad when she was practically in love and possibly thinking positively about what would happen if she got together with me. Wait…maybe she was thinking about what I was thinking about the day she told me and shocked me by saying that our bond was very tight and that it didn't seem to bother her very much at the time, but I thought that now that we were very, very close to the end, it was really getting to her now.

Just as I was thinking about this, Gracie suddenly spoke up. "Um, guys? Could you just…go back to Camp by yourselves? W-We'll catch up with you." Huh? What was that all about? And most importantly; 'we'? Without thinking though, I carried on walking with Jack and Lily, but Gracie stopped me in my tracks, which intrigued me madly. "Ludwig, could you stay here for a bit and talk with me?"

I turned around and looked at Gracie as if I were a rabbit in headlights, except that I was afraid my mouth would make stuttery noises I couldn't control, but after taking a deep breath and readjusting my posture, I smiled and replied, "Sure."

I was actually expecting us to both have a talk right where we were, but instead, Gracie led me to the lake, which was now sparkling and shining like the moonlight. It truly was a beautiful place to be right now. I was half expecting to have a talk about something casual, but I knew I was wrong because the moment we both sat down on the bench, Gracie's eyes immediately filled with tears. "Gracie? Are you okay?" I asked. "What's wrong?"

After a couple of seconds, she stopped staring ahead and looked up at me, the tears now freely running down her face. "How…How am I even meant to begin? I…I'm just feeling so overwhelmed with all these emotions and-"

"It's okay." I said, momentarily shocking myself by how deep and kindly I sounded. "Just take your time."

"Okay." Gracie sniffled before taking a few deep breaths and beginning. "I've been hiding lots of emotions recently, like when in Cyclone, I kept on falling over and everything… The memory of that trial has now clung onto me and it feels like it's not going to let go!"

I stuffed my hand into the pocket of my shorts and fiddled with the material anxiously as Gracie expressed her feelings. At last, I took a deep breath and said, "To me, you were amazing during that trial. Yeah, sure, you fell over lots of times, but you learned which way to move up the floor to prevent falling over more frequently. That's good isn't it?"

"I know…" Gracie muttered, her voice cracking a little. "But…the worst thing was that…I didn't even win that last star. I ruined everything…"

My heart squeezed with sympathy and hurt at Gracie's self-deprecatory behaviour and I couldn't help but place a hand on her shoulder. "Gracie." I said. "You can talk yourself down, hurt yourself, and call yourself as many names as you want, but I promise you, you did not ruin anything. Thanks to you, I've just had what has to be one of the greatest nights of my life!"

Gracie forced a smile before letting out another sniffle. "I can't help but still worry, though. There's a voting off meeting tomorrow and I just know that I'm going to be voted off, what with all my falls during Cyclone and my head injury." There were a few moments of tension while Gracie breathed heavily before hiding her face in her hands. "I've loved this experience and it feels like I've only just become accustomed, and I feel like I'm going to go home tomorrow…"

I nodded, feeling a hot burn of flames telling me to wrap her up in a hug instantly, but I knew full well that I couldn't. "I know how you feel, but you never know. Maybe I could be the one leaving tomorrow?"

"That would be just as bad!" Gracie suddenly shouted, before clapping a hand over her mouth.

I took a moment to stare at her, trying to process the meaning behind her words. "What do you mean?"

"I mean-" Gracie tensed up before sighing shakily. "Look, I just have to say this right now. I remember when we first started here, I felt like I couldn't love anything about this place and that for me, my time in the jungle wasn't going to go well at all, but…during these trials and how much time I've been spending with you has made me discover…something beautiful." Gracie stopped for a moment before turning a little pink and giggling nervously, which made me feel really awkward and I did the same.

"Er…yes?" I asked, gently prompting her to carry on. Gracie took a moment to compose herself before she started again.

"And after I discovered that beautiful thing, it made me realise that I really have enjoyed this and that…you were right that day. Our bond is really quite strong, so strong in fact, that I don't want to go home." My heart began to slowly tense up as I witnessed her eyes welling up with tears again. "And…if we ever were to break that bond…I feel like I'll never, ever be happy again."

As Gracie said this, I felt my heart beating faster and faster and I felt myself getting all flustered. "D-Do I make you happy?" I asked, my palms beginning to shake and sweat.

"Yes." Gracie spluttered. "Yes, you do."

"Well…why me then? I thought the others made you just as happy as I do, but why? Why do you feel you have such a strong bond with me in particular?"

"Because I love you!" Gracie shouted, which made me retreat back a little, but when I saw her beginning to cry, my heart instantly melted like butter. However, a few seconds later, it started moving so rapidly that I thought I was going to spontaneously combust. No way… This was actually happening. The girl I loved madly… She felt the same.

"W-What?" I said. "You love me? What, as in…love love?" Gracie didn't reply, instead, she just nodded and whimpered like a poor little puppy desperate for fusses and affection. How the heck could I resist? "Oh, Gracie…" I muttered, a small but invigorating scheme crossing my loving, mischievous mind. "Let me comfort you." and with that, I placed both my hands on her shoulders, scooted closer to her, and with my heart thumping in my chest, I planted the softest, sweetest kiss right on the bruise on her forehead.

In response to this, Gracie gasped and jerked up, her turquoise eyes screaming a state of shock and surprise. "Did…did you just-"

"Yes. Yes I did." I replied, smiling flirtatiously.

"What? But…how did…what?!" Gracie stammered, a look of shock and bewilderment present in her eyes.

"Gracie, listen to me for a minute." I said deeply and softly. "Believe me, from the moment I laid eyes on you on that plane, I knew that I loved you and that you were the only girl for me." I paused briefly, allowing Gracie to absorb every last vestige of what I had said, before sighing and bracing myself for what I was going to say next. "I've been struggling quite a bit in High School romantically."

"Why?" Gracie asked.

"Because…in my world, all the girls' attitudes and behaviour towards me are really horrible and they say to me that I'm so stuck up my own arse with my looks and stuff that I don't pay attention to anything else around me and I wouldn't go for girls like them, and they're right. Because of their rudeness to me, it makes it very difficult for me to find romance. What with my mum being killed, I've always wanted someone to feel romantically attracted to, and that someone…is you, Gracie. I…I love you too. So much, you have no-" but before I could finish, Gracie put her hands on my shoulders and planted her lips on mine.

Oh my god… For a moment, I tensed up and I felt unable to breathe for I was quite taken aback by Gracie's sudden intimate action, but after about a second, I let out a contented sigh. However, unfortunately, Gracie parted her lips and rested her forehead against mine, staring deeply and lovingly into my eyes as she started talking to me.

"Don't you worry." she uttered, her voice barely over a whisper. "I'm going to make sure you feel as cared for and as loved as possible." Gracie took hold of my hand and squeezed it. "And that's a promise I'll never break."

She kissed me again and scooted closer to me, so much so that she was nearly sitting on her lap. Her soft touch on the nape of my neck all but told me that she was achingly desperate to get even closer to me, so I lifted her right leg, placed it over my left, and wrapped my arms around her in a tight embrace. Gracie let out a small moan of pleasure as she moved herself so she was sitting on my lap and she deepened the kiss.

This was amazing. The girl of my dreams was holding me tight and giving me the most loving kiss in the world. I mean, yes, we had both not had the opportunity to have a proper wash throughout these three weeks and as I brushed my fingers through Gracie's knotty hair, I felt that it was a little greasy in some places, but at this point in time, I could not have cared less. I didn't care that her hair wasn't all silky and soft, I didn't care that she smelled just as bad as I did, and most of all, I didn't care that she was now crying into me and soaking my shirt with her tears. Why? Because I loved Gracie, and Gracie loved me.

"Hey, hey, sshh…" I whispered. "Please don't cry anymore. I'm here, I'm right here…"

Gracie sniffled and wiped her nose. "Well, you won't be tomorrow, will you? Never, even!"

My heart melted and I gently stroked Gracie's hair. "Gracie, look at me." I tilted up her chin so she was looking me straight in the eye. "When we both go home, we're going to be so unhappy that we'll probably feel like there's no point in trying to enjoy our lives, but…please promise me that you'll hang in there, think of me always, and hope that we'll see each other again someday." I brought a hand up and gently wiped away a tear that was running down her face. "Do you think you could do that?"

Gracie adjusted her position so her fingers were locked on my waist and she was leaning into me. "I…yeah…" she looked up at me. "At this point, I'll do absolutely anything for you…"

"Well, in that case," I said. "Would you like us to have all the fun in the world together before our time runs out?"

The moment I said this, Gracie's eyes softened and her sad tears seemed to dry instantly. "Oh, yes. We both need to spend as much time together as possible! Anything to be with you, Ludwig." and with that, Gracie pulled me to my feet and twirled me around the lake's edge, as if performing a Viennese waltz to music only we could have the fortune of hearing.

"Woah!" I exclaimed as I chuckled awkwardly upon seeing everything spinning around me the moment I stood still. "Careful, darling! I've gone all dizzy!"

Gracie rushed forward immediately and put her delicate hands on my shoulders to steady me before I fell to the ground, and the moment she did, I felt a little mischievous. I took her by the hand and squeezed it tight. "It's your turn now." I said, smiling jokingly.

"No, no!" Gracie giggled, but before she could say more, I spun her around in the exact same way she did with me, but soon, she started staggering around disorientedly towards the lake. I was just about to catch up with her when she fell backwards into the cleanest, shallowest part of the lake. For a moment, I stood there with a hand over my mouth, frozen between whether to stay where I was or go and see if she was okay, but before I could make one of those decisions, Gracie let out a cry before bursting into laughter.

I laughed alongside her, both relieved and happy that she was still smiley and joyful just the way she was, even though her shorts were all wet now, Gracie seemed completely regardless of that because she stood up, walked back over to where I was and took my hands in hers. I let out a little nervous giggle. "Shall we take things nice and slow now?" I asked.

Gracie eagerly nodded and then led me to the middle of the bank. For a moment, she stared into my eyes as if she wanted to do something very intimate and memorable with me, and momentarily, I felt a little flustered. Well, it can't seriously be what I'm thinking right now, I thought, we're both standing up, but I soon discovered what was going on in her pretty little mind when she placed her hands on my shoulders. However, the very moment she did that, something very strange happened. We both fell silent due to hearing beautiful music notes playing in the distance. I had no idea where they were coming from, but we both took it as an opportunity to do something memorable together.

I placed my hands on Gracie's hips while she rested hers on my shoulders and then started swaying side to side in time with the slow ballad that was echoing through the darkness and the trees. At first, I was a little nervous because it was all but evident that Gracie wanted to dance, and my heart began to beat twice as fast as its usual rate, so much so that when Gracie touched around my neck, a look of concern but adoration crossed her face.

"Your heart is racing…" she said. "Do you not like dancing?" Momentarily, she looked a little hurt and disappointed.

"Oh, no no, it's not that, it's just…I'm really nervous about this. I've never danced like this before and I don't want to mess anything up."

Gracie's face melted into a supportive smile and she let go of my neck to caress my cheek. "Oh…that's okay… You don't have to dance if you really don't want to. Besides, I'm perfectly fine just swaying about like this; I think it'll put less pressure on both of us to dance nicely, so let's just relax and spend some romantic time together."

Oh my… I was so relieved and pleased that Gracie felt the same as me about this, and my heart fluttered so much at her sweet, endearing little face that I wrapped my arms around her, let out a sigh, and lost myself in the faint, slow music. Gracie did the same to me, except that she was letting out small, happy noises as she fiddled with my hair. All through the song, my heart soared, for Gracie's touch was like soothing bath water soaking my whole body and she didn't let go until the song played its last note. Her hands still remained stuck to my shoulders as her shimmering, turquoise eyes stared into mine, seeking love and affection from me.

"I love you, Ludwig." she whispered. "More than words can ever express. I don't ever want to leave your side, but…I guess you're right about what you said. We may see each other again, so I have to think about you all the time…"

I smiled broadly, folded my arms round her once again and whispered into her ear, "I love you even more, Gracie…" I kissed her cheek before brushing my fingers through her hair.

There we were. There we finally were. Locked onto each other's bodies as if we would be killed if we departed. Right now, that's how it all felt. I was gutted that I had spent so long trying to get together with Gracie, and when it had finally happened, it would only be a matter of time where we inevitably had to leave each other behind. But, there was one thing that stayed lodged in my mind. We may leave each other behind physically, but we were definitely not going to leave our hearts behind and our feelings for each other. Not a chance.