This chapter is a hefty one, so bear with me!
A few days following the Gathering of Chiefs, I was feeling much better and went to go see Zephyr. She was delighted to see me, more concerned about my well-being given my abrupt departure.
"I'm so sorry for leaving you like that, but I was feeling like shit," I admitted. She brushed it off, hugging me tightly.
"Oh, never mind all that, I'm just glad you're better! What did Ana have to say?"
"Just to take it easy, she thinks the stress of everything going on is making me sick."
"Ah, I see. That makes sense. Well, you won't have to stress much more. Tannr and I'll be handling most of the politics, with help from mom and dad of course. And you know I'll call you if you're needed."
"I know, thanks Zeph. How did the rest of the meeting go?" She excitedly shared that she and Tannr secured New Berk as a new major trade outpost for the western Archipelago, as well as securing allies in the east and on the mainland. Not to mention, New Berk would be importing more valuable goods such as expensive fabric, gemstones, and foodstuffs. And we would be exporting dragon-scale paint.
"Wait, really? I thought that would be the New Berkian secret."
"It wasn't my idea, it was dad's." I expressed further surprise, and she explained her father's reasoning.
"Trust me, I was as surprised as you are. But he said he would only export it to New Berk's closest allies; the Berserkers, Outcasts, and Bog-Burglars, and Hilda's Sámi tribe, as they deal with more outsiders and unfortunately have more skirmishes and confrontations. He offered the paint for fireproofing and extra protection."
"Huh, interesting."
"Because it's dad, I know there's more to his reasoning, but I know better than to ask further. He'll explain it if he feels inclined to. He did say that its production would be kept secret, so there's that."
"True. Makes sense."
With Zephyr's reign firmly established in the archipelago, she proved to be smart and incredibly formidable, with Gobber remarking that she reminded him of Chief Stoick's early days.
"Gotta be the red hair," Eyarr joked.
Another couple of months came and went, with the town adjusting to Zephyr's leadership. I had joined her and Tannr at several council meetings, with my insight needed when it came to trade and outside relations with foreigners. The discussion of an official currency was also discussed and would be expanded upon, which would allow for an economy to take root and hopefully flourish.
Things were turning out well, and Zephyr was receiving positive reception and encouragement. With the addition that Nuffink and Saoirse, who had been keeping to themselves for the most part, were now engaged and intended to plan their wedding soon. It was also around this time that I learned I was pregnant.
The news had been a pleasant surprise, but certainly shocking. Through my meticulous tracking of my cycle, I continued to have periodic bleeding that didn't alarm me. However, I was still dealing with nausea and increased sensitivity to smells overall. But it was a fainting spell that brought me back to Ana, where she conducted a pregnancy test of sorts, and also felt my stomach, and she concluded that I was still early on, but enough that she could feel the growth.
Needless to say, Eyarr also nearly fainted at the news but was utterly ecstatic knowing he was going to be a father. We received an outpouring of congratulations and well wishes for a smooth pregnancy.
Everyone within the extended family and friend group pitched in to help with the preparation. Dustin, Tannr, and Nyr worked on putting a cradle together, and I had to admit, I often forgot how good their woodworking skills were. Myself, Zephyr, and Saoirse worked on the clothes, these adorable little tunics, and nightgowns. Astrid, Valka, Ruffnut, and Ana, offered their midwifery experience when it was time for the baby to be born.
Through roughly 6 ish months of preparation, I went into labor while helping the Haddock siblings with their respective engagements and future weddings. I'd been feeling contractions for days with little results, and frankly, I was surprised that Eyarr wasn't freaking out. But he kept his cool up to my water finally breaking. Which luckily happened at home, as in me waking up to a massive wet spot on the bed. Eyarr had been awake prior, so my water broke sometime after he woke.
"Eyarr!" I called. I heard him clamor up the stairs and came to help me up off the bed. He leaned down to pick me up when he felt the wet spot on my nightgown and the bed. I just watched him as he processed what was about to happen.
"It's time, isn't it?" I groaned as a heavy contraction hit, nodding slowly in confirmation. For a moment, I just wanted him to stay with me, don't get Ana yet…
He held me up, softly humming in my ear, helping me away my hips to help ease the pain of the contractions as I gripped his tunic tightly. He walked me around a bit to get some strength in my legs, rubbing my back gently, and kissing my head.
Weeks before, Ana asked me if I knew any of the women in my family ever had difficulty during labor. I mentioned the faint memory of when my sister was born.
"What do you mean?"
"My sister came early into the world. There was fear amongst my family that my sister wouldn't survive the birth. And my mother said the labor itself was difficult." I was only about 4 when Aihe was born, so I couldn't remember much. But I did remember the stress my family was under, especially Dad.
"Back home, birth wasn't regarded to be about pain as suffering. We honor the strength of women to bring life into the world. I never heard my mother scream in pain when having my sister, even when it got difficult. Or my aunt when she had my cousin." I explained.
After some time of Eyarr soothing me through the beginning, I finally told him to get Ana and the others.
"Are you sure you'll be okay?"
"The quicker you get them… the quicker I'll be better," I said, trying not to snap at him. Now was not the time to hesitate on making decisions. Bouncing on his feet, he quickly scurried out of the house, leaving me alone, though not for long. I sat back down on our bed, leaning forward and gripping the wooden frame as I focused on breathing. Astrid had said that our monthly cycles were like a way for our bodies to practice for the real thing. That said, only a few weeks ago did my body start practicing contractions.
I recalled the first instance that it happened during dinner when Hiccup and Astrid came to stay for the evening. I had gotten up to get something, when suddenly a contraction came out of nowhere, nearly causing me to fall. Luckily I didn't, and no labor, but it sent us into a tailspin. Since that moment, Astrid and Valka had been helping me with breathing exercises and ways to help relax my pelvis for an easier delivery.
I was pulled out of my thoughts as I heard footsteps make their way up the staircase, Eyarr leading Ana, Astrid, Valka, and Zephyr into put bedroom.
"Her water broke earlier. She's been contracting." He quickly explained.
"That's a start! Hopefully, the baby won't take its time." Astrid commented.
"Take its time?" Eyarr echoed.
"Well, sometimes some babies take longer to come out than others. It all depends." I chuckled a bit.
"I mean, Mom told me that I took a few hours to be born from when her water broke. But my sister took almost a whole day, even being born early."
"Every woman has a different birthing experience." Valka threw in with a faint smile.
"I may not have birthed my baby, but from helping other women, I can say that each birth is unique." Ana also added.
After some preparation, Astrid slowly helped me walk around the room, talking to me to keep my mind off the pain. It did help, as I could feel my hips ache from the new adjustment. I could feel the baby sinking lower and lower into my pelvis, adding additional pressure. Upon feeling the shift, I grimaced, squeezing my eyes shut.
"Let… Eyarr walk with me." I finally said, feeling the need for his presence next to me.
"Of course, come Eyarr." Astrid smiled, gesturing for him to join me. I could see the fear in his eyes as I grabbed his hands.
"What do I do?" He asked with a faint tremble in his voice. I knew he was rarely ever afraid, but I could sense this time he was. Following a whimper, he brought me closer to him, allowing my head to rest on his chest.
"Just listen and feel," Astrid whispered.
The room fell silent for a bit, with just the sounds of me heavily breathing. Eyarr encouraged me to sway my body as we did earlier, and I felt the discomfort dissipate slightly. I could feel the baby move around as it readjusted.
"Freyja and Haumea give me strength." I gasped out through a massive contraction. It was hard to explain as I felt the head begin to aim downwards. But I didn't yet feel the need to push yet.
Ana noticed my stance.
"How's the dilation?"
"Let me check." Astrid and Eyarr slowly walked me to the side of the bed where a small stool had been placed. Astrid lifted the loose linen dress I had on and Ana quickly inspected me.
"She's almost ready. It's good progress, I can see the baby has already dropped." Ana remarked.
Right, she was, I could feel my hips adjusting again. I knitted my eyebrows together, my chest heaving with every breath I took. It finally began to settle in that this was happening, I was bringing a child into the world, and I was lucky to have my husband by my side.
I blinked upon feeling Eyarr tenderly wipe my sweaty forehead, and I craned my neck to look at him.
"It's okay, I'm here, I'm not going anywhere." He assured, running his hand through my hair. I gave him a weak smile in return.
"Could you tie my hair up?" I asked. Zephyr handed Eyarr a leather string as he pulled my hair back, tying it up.
"That feel better?" I nodded, my back already feeling cooler even with sweat running down my spine.
As Eyarr and Zephyr helped me get comfortable, Ana, Astrid, and Valka positioned my legs accordingly so it would allow for a smoother delivery.
"Fuck… I feel it coming…" I groaned out.
"All right Laeli, I want you to listen to your body, and whenever you feel that contraction, push along with it. Follow your instincts." I took a deep breath, ensuring it reached the bottom of my lungs. It was go time. This was real.
I felt tears run down my cheeks as I felt each contraction deep within me. And with each tear slipping down my face, Eyarr gently wiped them away. Through my partially shut eyes, I could see Eyarr glancing down as we waited for the baby to crown.
"Laeli? Speak to us, are you doing all right?" Ana asked.
"Yeah… I'm… I'm really tired…" I mumbled.
"Can she take a break?" Eyarr then inquired.
"Of course, she can. As long as that's what she wants." Ana replied.
"Please. I need one."
"No worries, honey. Take your time. This is your baby." Astrid assured.
We all took a break for a bit, letting the ladies chat for a bit. Meanwhile, I leaned against Eyarr; him sitting right next to me on a small chair. He readjusted so I was leaning between his legs. Zephyr also sat next to me, and I was happy she was there.
"Thank you for being here, Zeph."
"Of course! I'm so happy you asked me to be here. And I'm glad Eyarr allowed me here." She added with a giggle.
I just nodded in response, rubbing my belly. It was still surreal that this was happening.
"You doing okay, babe?" Eyarr asked quietly.
"I am. Just ready for this to be over."
"Are you ready to push again?"
"Yeah." As soon as I affirmed that I was ready, almost immediately we were back in our circle.
This time I put every ounce of my energy into each push, grimacing a bit as I felt the head leave.
"A head of hair!" Ana exclaimed.
"That would come from me." We all shared a chuckle.
I couldn't help but cry out upon feeling the shoulders pass through.
"Well done, the shoulders and head are the most difficult." Ana said encouragingly, "This babe will be here in no time!"
I mentally counted down the moments as I felt the rest of the baby pass through me, and instinctually reached my hands down, where Ana's hands also waited, catching the baby in my hands, gasping out at the relief that washed through me. Behind me, Eyarr helped my body up in support, lifting me slightly as the baby left my body.
The room was silent at this moment, no one breathed.
Until finally a piercing wail broke the air. And we all released our bated breath in relief. After a few seconds to process the experience, I brought the baby to my chest and gazed down in wonder.
A boy.
I birthed a healthy baby boy into the world. My first. My firstborn.
I cradled him close to my chest, allowing my emotions to release, heavy tears falling down my cheeks.
"Thank you Freyja and Haumea." I cried out, "It's a boy!" I heard Eyarr laugh in relief behind me, pressing a passionate kiss to my cheek.
"You did it… I'm so proud of you." He said into my ear. I heard him sniffle, but I didn't care, I knew he was ecstatic.
We sat there for a few minutes, just taking it all in, this new wonderful thing I did. Now I knew why giving birth was nature's miracle. I took in the presence of my son, feeling his soft skin and hair, the latter being incredibly curly, even for a newborn.
My body shuddered intensely as I felt the afterbirth leave me. It was such an odd feeling, even if it was like passing a large blood clot during my cycles.
After Ana cut the cord and placed the afterbirth in a bag, patting it dry, Zephyr and Valka helped make the bed for me. Fresh blankets and soft furs to make me as comfy as possible. As they helped me to bed, Ana cradled my son in one arm, telling Eyarr to take a seat next to me where I lay. In the other was a blanket.
I outstretched my arms as Ana handed Eyarr the blanket, who put it in my arms and then delicately placed my son on the blanket. She had tenderly bathed him, rubbing the womb's remnants into his skin.
With the baby carefully propped up against my chest, I wrapped the blanket around his little body. After I wrapped him up, I then readjusted the top of my dress, pulling it down, and allowing him to nurse.
It all felt like it happened so fast, but at the same time, it was like everything slowed down.
It took the baby a few minutes, but I felt him finally latch up and begin to suck my nipple. I made a face at the discomfort, not expecting it to hurt.
"The first time is always uncomfortable," Astrid explained. "Just let your body absorb it, it'll eventually become less uncomfortable."
Together, we let this moment sink in. We had a baby. A beautiful little boy, with fairer skin, just like his father, and thick, dark brown, curly hair.
"The curls come from your mother," Eyarr observed, gently twirling a curl around his finger. I nodded my head in agreement, delighted that something of my mother had passed on. Then a thought occurred to me.
"This is an odd question, but what is the weather outside?" Eyarr glanced at Astrid and Zephyr, the latter shrugging.
"Sunny, but with some clouds. Why?" She replied after peeking her head out the window.
"Back home, we used the weather as an indicator of what the child would be like the day they were born."
"Ah. What was the weather like when you were born?" Valka asked. I took a moment to remember.
"I remember my father telling me that around the time my mother went into labor, there was a storm coming in. And by the time I was born, the storm made landfall."
"What does that mean?" I snickered.
"Headstrong, stubborn… you know… me."
"That's right." Eyarr gave me a gentle hug in affirmation.
"Well, what shall the lad's name be?" Eyarr and I looked at each other, and then down at our son.
"Torin. During our time in the south, I learned name meanings… and Torin means 'chief'… a little symbolism of my original birthright."
Once we squared away the name, everyone finally left to give us some peace together. Eyarr took off his tunic as I handed him the baby to place on his chest. And at that moment, I saw it finally hit him. As Eyarr cradled our son against his chest, he stared at me and whisper-shouted, "I'm a father!" I grinned, trying to not laugh too much, still feeling discomfort as my body now had to adjust to no longer carrying a baby around. Yup, everything hurt, including my tender breasts, and very much full of milk.
"He's perfect."
"He is." It amazed me at how tiny Torin was, cuddled firmly against his father's chest. And it amazed me, even more, knowing that once, a long time ago, Eyarr and I were that small. Tiny and innocent. After a few more moments, Torin began to wail, and my new motherly instincts fell into place. I held out my arms as Eyarr ever so delicately placed Torin in my embrace. And I gestured for Eyarr to sit next to me, and he didn't hesitate to do so. He was careful getting on the bed, not wanting to cause too much disturbance. Eyarr watched as I attempted to figure out the right angle to help Torin latch as he fussed. Even though I got him to latch onto one nipple, the other began to leak milk, and I groaned at the discomfort.
"Gods, everything is so sensitive. And sore."
"Do you need me to do anything?" I shook my head, gazing up at him, eyes suddenly welling up with tears.
"Please don't go anywhere, don't leave my side."
"Hey, shhh… it's okay. I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm staying here to watch over you and our son."
I did want to be out of bed to put my first baby down in his cradle for his first night. Eyarr gently helped me up and out of bed, giving me a moment to regain some strength in my legs, slowly walking us to the cradle only a couple of feet away.
"Is it time?" Eyarr asked. I nodded. I began to quietly hum a lullaby to soothe our baby as he began to coo. I rocked him slowly, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead as I ever so carefully placed him down in his cradle, giving it a light rock.
Once we were sure he was asleep for now, Eyarr then helped me with wrapping soft linen around my abdomen that would allow my stomach to return to normal size eventually. I gazed down at my stretch marks resulting from the pregnancy, still somewhat in a daze that I'd given birth. I was a mother now…
"Babe? Hey," Eyarr whispered, getting my attention as he secured one end of the linen around me. He pressed a gentle kiss against my stomach, noticing my gaze on it.
"Yeah?"
"You all right?" I took in a deep breath, slowly exhaling as Eyarr tucked me into bed.
"I'm okay… still… in a daze. My body hasn't processed all of this yet." I admitted. He kissed my forehead.
"Hm… I know. It was a lot for your body to do. But… I can say I truly appreciate and understand what the female body is capable of. And I may not have witnessed it firsthand, but damn. It's truly something." He told me, sitting next to me, "now, I'm going to stay up and watch you and the baby until you're asleep, okay? You need rest."
"I know…" I agreed through a yawn, rolling over and cuddling against him, resting my head on his muscular abdomen.
"You both are my everything." I heard him whisper as I closed my eyes, allowing myself to finally fall asleep.
The following morning, Eyarr took the afterbirth outside, along with a pine sapling. Laeli had told him about a particular tradition back home with the birth of a child. Burying the afterbirth along with a baby tree was symbolic of a new life, and was a promise that the baby would grow strong and healthy. And a prayer of thanks to the gods for a safe delivery. Laeli stressed the importance of the privacy of it, as she knew few Berkians would understand. Eyarr was perfectly fine with it and assured her he would handle it.
With the afterbirth in a leather bag, he stepped out into a cool morning, dew drops dangling from blades of grass.
He made his way to the back of the house, finding a spot to bury the afterbirth. He dug for a moment, before placing the leather bag in the hole. He covered the bag, and then planted the sapling, making sure it was stable.
After he was sure of the spot, he kneeled before the baby tree, taking in the moment, breathing in the chilled morning air deep into his lungs.
He had always thought new beginnings were corny and embarrassing… but they were real. They were real, and they were full of love. Laeli deserved all the credit for never giving up on him.