Please note that this story covers sensitive topics such as:

- Suicide, thoughts/attempts,

- Mental illness,

- Alcohol abuse,

- Sexual abuse,

- Bullying,

- Anorexia.

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- Any of these characters

- This anime

I own:

- This plot

- This story

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- Credit

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~ Bakugo's Pov ~

KAKSUKI GROANED AS the headache he had earlier in the morning, grew stronger. He clutched the side of his head and scoffed silently, feeling green eyes on him. He looked up and met eyes with Izuku who stared back. Kaksuki frowned when he wasn't met with the same bright eyes as his own. His stomach turned when the pair of green lifeless eyes turned away from his. There was no smile on his face. There was no hint of pleasure or happiness, simply only the expression of someone who was numb. When Izuku looked away from Bakugo, his hand twitched.

That's the tenth time he's seen Izuku shift in his seat. As the quirk explosion sat straight in his seat, he felt as if something was wrong. He was acting differently.

"Just give him time, I'm sure he'll go back to his ways tomorrow."

But it felt like the day was going by too long. He gave no one a smile, he was quiet in class and outside of class. He barely gave any emotion out and if he did, it would be angry and he would lash out at either Bakugo or anyone else if they had crossed him the wrong one.

Kirishima and Bakugo weren't the only ones who had noticed it. They weren't alone: but Izuku Midoriya was.

Now that Bakugo had started thinking about it, the last time he had seen Izuku like this, things didn't turn out as jolly as he thought. Three months had slid by as if it was nothing and Bakugo had almost forgotten that he even caught Izuku all alone and emotionless, with bottles of alcohol laying on the ground, some shattered and most of them empty.

That night, he had been rushed to the hospital, endangered with alcohol poisoning.

Turning his head back to look over at Izuku, Kaksuki wasn't surprised when he had seen him zoning out. He's been doing that a lot recently. Frowning, Kaksuki raised his leg a bit and kicked Izuku's leg. His red ruby eyes were met with a glare from the green-haired boy. When Bakugo threw a slip of paper onto his desk, he retreated his leg and turned his head back to the class.

Bakugo's heart stuttered with nervousness as he wondered how Izuku would react to the note. Would he throw it away or would he write back? If he did right back, what would he say?

The slip flew and landed on his desk, fluttering. Looking down, Bakugo raised his hand and took the slip of paper, and opened it. Glancing up at the sleeping teacher, he peered back down at the slip of paper and began reading.

⁃ Oi, why are you looking like?

⁃ Don't worry about it. Not any of your business if you haven't noticed.

Frowning, Bakugo lifted up his pencil and started to write. When Bakugo was about to throw the note back at Izuku, he stood up and had turned to him. His hands swiped the note before Bakugo could blink and walked over to the door where there was a garbage bin and threw it out. He turned and walked back to his seat, without another word.

He ignored the glare he got from Bakugo and leaned back, closing his eyes. He wasn't in the mood to talk to him yet? It's been a fucking hour since he even said jack shit! Grunting in annoyance, Bakugo watched Midoriya closely, realizing that he didn't look any better than he had thought he had.

He was pale. His green hair looked like it hadn't been washed in a few days and he was a lot skinnier than Bakugo remembered. Izuku had heavier bags under his eyes and there were too many bruises on himself.

Something was off with him.

But what was it?

When Izuku didn't want to be read, he couldn't be read. He knew everyone's secrets, he knew what everybody was thinking, he knew how to draw out their weakness. But nobody knew anything about him. They didn't know his life from before he got to UA. They don't know if he lives with his parents or if he lives by himself or the dorm rooms. The only thing they really know about him was his age, a few likings, and the fact that Bakugo and Izuku had known each other from birth.

Bakugo was the one with all the information about Izuku.

Only he knew his tells.

Only then, could they figure him out.

But Bakugo was a hard-headed short temper ball of anxiety. He wouldn't give up anything and if he did, the situation would have to be dire. They've already figured Bakugo out, but they've only seen what they know. They don't even have a clue about the soft side of Bakugo. His cruel side. His sad side. They haven't seen him be calm at all and right now? They were looking at him with curiosity.

Because he was frowning.

And he was calm.

When the bell rang, Kaksuki watched as he saw the green-haired boy get up (with a wince), and head out of the classroom in a hurry. The day had gone so slow. Even Bakugo heard that Todoroki hated it.

"-ro?" Kirishima's voice interrupted Bakugo's thoughts.

Bakugo frowned deeper and turned his attention back to the hardened pro hero. "What did you say?" He asked, turning his eyes back to the door where the green bob disappeared. He glanced back at Kirishima who was frowning at him with a stupid expression on his face.

"I was asking if you wanted to talk in private." He said. His own ruby eyes stared back at Bakugo with a sternness in his eyes. Sighing, Bakugo got up and flipped off the class, and sped out of it, shoving his hands in his pockets. When the two of them got out of the building, Bakugo turned to Kirishima who was frowning.

"You've noticed it too?"

"Noticed what?" Bakugo snapped, turning towards the redhead. He slouched and yawned. He didn't get much sleep last night.

"C'mon Bakubro-" Kirishima sighed, walking up from behind him and wrapping his arms around his waist as he nuzzled his nose in Bakugo's neck. "You know you can't lie to me" He whispered, giggling at how he felt Bakugo relax.

"Three months ago.."

~ Izuku's pov: ~

I FEEL... SO damn useless. I don't make anyone happy. I try to be the best and when I feel like I'm good enough, he just crashes me down and I have to start all over again and I'm tired. I'm tired of trying, faking of being someone I'm not.

I've slipped up too many times today and yesterday, so why even try?

I mentally slapped myself as I heard the bell ring. Great. I can head back to my dorm room before anyone starts again. As I neared the door of my room, I felt my veins bubble with the urge to drink. Just a few more minutes before I could clock out and have a sip.

Just a sip.

That's all I need.

"You and I both know that you're not gonna stop until you pass out~"

Shut up.

When I reached my door, I was about to step in when Todoroki was at my side. He smiled kindly. "Midoriya-Kun." He said, beaming at me.

I froze in my steps, frowning. He was showing emotion. Has he noticed my weird behavior? Has he come to talk about me avoiding everyone and being rude? Is he inviting me somewhere with the others or has he come to talk to me? No. I can't do this right now. Not now, not ever. I feel like I'm being ripped open if I don't have a sip soon.

Realizing I hadn't talked yet, I tried to give Todoroki a smile, but I couldn't. I wasn't in the mood. "Buzz off.." I mumbled, turning away and slipping into my darkroom. I liked it. There was a window, but I had put up black curtains and blocked out any way of light making its way into my room, so it felt as if I was almost living like a vampire. The only light inside my room came from my ridge, my phone, and my tv.

"You could be one. You're as cold as one and you use alcohol to solve your problems instead of bloodshed."

I know.

As I lock the door behind me, I lean on the door and sigh heavily, tears building and pressure sinking down as it bubbled to the surface. I was finally alone. Inhaling deeply, I felt as if every fiber in my body and every bone was on fire. I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut.

I know it's bad for me. I know that drinking at a young age isn't healthy, but if it drowns out the voices and the pressure I feel every day and night, if it helps me escape the pain I feel on my skin when I'm sober, then I don't care.

Even if I have to hide from the others for a while.

I dropped to the floor. This is my only way out...

The only way out...

THE FEELING OF wanting to drink his sorrows away and just lay in his bed and feel nothing but the pain soothing over his skin with the small blade went away. He felt better. Lighter. His cheeks were pink and his hair was messier than usual. Checking the time, his vision showed three hazy numbers.

12:35 a.m.

Midnight.

Before Izuku could speak, his door was open and he was faced with a blonde and a redhead. Their eyes widened. "D-Deku..?" His voice was a whisper, but Izuku and the redhead had already heard it. Izuku's empty eyes peered up and saw Bakugo towering over him. He watched both of their eyes widen at the stage before them.

"Midoriya.." Kirishima breathed, shivering.

Had he been sitting here drinking his feelings away for nine hours?

"Bak...ugo.." Izuku slurred, swaying his sly eyes away from Kaksuki's and towards Kirishima's. They both were horrified. Izuku's eyes darkened. He bared his teeth towards the two of them, snapping his teeth. "Kiri...shima..?"

Izuku sat in front of the open door in his bedroom, his back facing the door. He leaned back, his palms flat on the floor as it helped him stay in the position he was in. His legs were sprawled out in front of him.

Bakugo and Kirishima stood behind him, gawking in the awkwardness they had just walked in on. Kirishima was still trying to process what he was seeing, but Bakugo...Bakugo had his eyes narrowed.

His gut had been right.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing in my room?" Izuku asked, coldness clear in the thickness of his voice. It sounded as if he had been crying and he wasn't going to hide it.

He had been crying.

So much for erasing his pain.

Stupid alcohol.

His eyes were puffy and dull while his cheeks had dried tear stains.

"What do you think you're doing?!" Bakugo hissed a verily through his teeth, stepping more in his room as he shut the door, dragging Kirishima further in the more in as he did so.

Izuku glared. There were bottles around him. Most of them had been placed in groups. The empty ones were placed messily by the trash bin in front of his bed, hidden from everyone's view if you were to just walk in his room. But the full ones, not even opened yet, were still in his mini-fridge beside his bed and nightstand.

He was a mess. Outside, he was a boy with a ball of energy. He was everyone's pride and sun, but they were wrong to not look deeper. Have they tried? No. Izuku was good at hiding things. He was good at lying and deceiving. There were times where he wasn't himself many times, and the others had seemed worried - but Izuku put his guard back up and carried on as if nothing had happened.

Bakugo has seen this multiple times and has tried to intervene, but every time he tried, Izuku would push him away and shut him out and drink alone in his bedroom. Was he a heavy drinker?

Yes.

He was an alcoholic.

Apathetic one at that.

A loner.

Izuku felt himself wanting to disappear already. They ruined his mood, but it's not like he was in a good one from the start. You drink to erase. That's what drives one to drink in the first place.

"I'm being interrupted by two of my classmates." Izuku's voice was deep and the others could tell he was annoyed by them. He swayed his eyes away from the two students and looked down in his lap, picking up the bottle and putting it to his lips, taking the last sip before frowning and scoffing.

There goes another bottle.

At this point, he was too far gone. He had started drinking when he had the chance; and that was at the age of 12, seeing that his mother went out and left a few bottles behind, he had wanted to find a way to make himself not cry. He was tired of crying.

His mother left him with a cell phone and a bank acc with money placed in it for food and rent every month for his needs. She never came back. He was truly alone and no one understood him more than himself.

The last straw hadn't been cut yet. He still had his insanity, he was just tired of trying to pretend to be somebody he wasn't. He's already done that for enough years, why waste his energy in doing so? He's going to die at an early age anyway, so what's the matter in using a few bottles or more, to help him with those demons at night?

That was the slight problem. He had a physical demon. And he was here inside his room, glaring at him with worry and regret. What the fuck does he have to be regretful about?

It's not like Bakugo was in his shoes. He didn't care enough for that. He never cares enough for that. Izuku was just a waste of time in Bakugo's eyes. He's already accepted that, so why can't Bakugo accept Izuku like this?

What was holding him to stay?

"Midoriyabro.." Kirishima said softly. Izuku frowned and swung his head up too fast and saw that Kirishima was close to crying. Great, look everybody! We have a crybaby in the room. "...are y-you-" he stared at Izuku with concern. "d-depressed?"

Izuku stiffened. The fuck did he just ask? Looking away, Izuku gave him a 'tch' and scoffed. This was the main reason why he didn't want friends. Either they bully him or they reck him with their insane questions and rules but sometimes they go further and give him a love for which he didn't ask for.

"Am I depressed.." Izuku breathed, repeating the question Kirishima had just spat out. He chuckled lightly and smirked. He's only been asked that once in his life. His mother had seen the way he had been just before she left and asked him that.

He ended up crying and telling her the whole story.

Then she turned around and left.

He hasn't trusted anybody since. They can all go to hell. If he opens up, they'll leave as well. His father never liked him enough to stay, his mother didn't care enough and his parents weren't going to make more mistakes by making more children like Izuku, himself.

They didn't need another monster.

"C'mon~"

"Tell them Zuzu~"

Shut up. They don't need to know. They're better off left in the light. They're doing just fine without his darkness, he doesn't need to add to the pile of stress they've been dealing with. Izuku didn't answer. He only sighed drunkenly and tried to get up. He failed and almost fell to the ground but Bakugo had caught him, dragged him to bed and Izuku passed out.

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