A/N: For August of 2024, I decided to-

"Hold it right there, mister!"

Huh?

"You and I both know this was a fourth wall one-shot, something you haven't done to an extent since the second Neptunia one-shot, even if that one was just an implied written sequel. I think it's high time you did the fourth wall bit the justice it deserves!"

And how do you propose I do that? Also, who are you?

"Leave that to me my smash bros Corrin palette #3 fanboy!"

HEY!

"As for who I am: Let me introduce myself via the title of this little one-shot!"

Noisepool

"Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal"

"Emustolronzen Finé el balal zizzl"

"Gatrandis babel ziggurat edenal-"

*Record Scratch*

"Emustolronzen Finé el zizzl." Yeah, I'm sure you all know the song better than Happy Birthday by now. Especially the people who watch my death scene like five times a week to rewrite it in some either better or more screwed up way than canon...

Ah, but where are my manners? Kanade Amou. Friends call me Big K, and my clients and enemies call me Noisepool! Well, they mostly call me things like "Freak", "Die", or my personal favorite "Marvel lawsuit waiting to happen".

Now I know what you're thinking: Big K, what does you being in a blatantly orange and black jumpsuit have to do with your, right now, alleged death? Well, for starters, it's actually orange and white, but all the Noise carbon stains are really hard to get out of the suit, so I've just let it dye the white at this point. Secondly, it helps give into perspective my lore for this one-shot that may or may not continue. Don't hold your breath on seeing this pretty face show up again, the writer has too much on their plate, and only themselves to blame.

Now then, that juicy lore you're after. How do I say this without making this unable to be posted... I got it! You see... When a power-hungry Alchemist and the most unhinged intrusive thought love each other very much, they decide to create crimes against humanity. What was this insane thought you might be asking yourself? Simple: What if one could fuse Alca-Noise with human DNA to make the ultimate supersoldier race? Well let me tell you, through my first words upon returning to the world of the living!

A̵̹͐̊͋H̵̟̭͋H̷̬͉͈̾͑̕!̸̞͝!̷̛̣̤̠̳̂͊̕ ̴̖́A̷̦͚̼̪̽͗H̶̦̥̾H̵͔͂̒̈́͂H̴͍̖́̌͐ͅH̵̻͕̼͝H̸̘͍͉̉͊̾͘H̷̱̽͛̌͗H̵̠̍̈́H̶̦̫̪͑͗H̷͍͔̹̓H̷̤͙͕̋H̵̻̥̙͇̔H̶̬̺̳͜͝͝H̴͈̻̗̾́H̴̞̿͑̚!̵̯̖͇͌͑̒̽!̷͇̟̜͎̑!̷̳̗́̂̋!̷͙̖̂!̵̟͇̓͘̕!̶̠̰̈́̊͝ ̵̻̮͕̋̄͜K̶̤̰͇͉̆́͊Ḭ̶͓͔̎̂L̵̤͐ͅL̶̠͖̅̋̽͗ͅ ̷͈͙͊́̂͆Ḿ̷̱̗Ȇ̸͕ ̵̬̬̟́N̶̬̥͠Ŏ̸̻̓̉̚͜W̸͈̺̤͂̾͊̆!̶̫̬̖͒̎̊́!̶͖̭̑!̸̢̥͑̑͗ͅ!̵̺̳̝́̌̉ ̷̮̙̇F̵̳̼̩̹̄͋O̸̡͍̖̍̊̕͝Ŕ̷̼͇͙́͐̌ ̵͙̤̲͊̄̇̊T̵̡͙̲̯̒̊Ḧ̵̨̢̳̌͝Ė̴̞̟̺̌̒ ̷͖̥͉̐̐L̷͇̙̜̐̌́̈́O̴̩͆̌͘V̴͕̲̊̎́͘E̷͔̤͍̅͝ ̵͇̐̇͜Ó̸̝̆͠F̶̢͚͕̈́̄͜͝ ̴̳̞̜̆͛̾̽G̷̦̪̭̊̊́̒O̵̧̝̹͝-̴̲̫̳͔̽

Rough translation for the hard of hearing in the back: It hurts like hell! But to put it into a language that people born of flesh and blood can understand...

SNIKT!

SLASH!

PLOP!

Like I said... HURTS LIKE HELL! Hah... Hah... Hah... *Ahem* But! With the power of crimes against humanity, I can just-

KRACK!

SSSSSLINK!

Grow it back like nothing happened. And the best part: No crazy side effects!

CRAWL...

CRAWL...

BANG!

POOF!

"Can you stop doing that shit outside of battles? Seriously, sometimes it feels like you just like to dismember yourself for some fetish!"

Right, I should've mentioned before doing the magic trick that always livens up parties, And by parties, I mean fights. But after regaining sentience and dismantling the Noise Supersoldier Program (Or NSP, not to be confused with the band), I took up self-employment as a wandering sellsword for alternate universes. Would've stayed as a Vigilante in Primeverse, but since they've got more than enough Symphogear Wielders and a Kanade that visits frequently, it was for the better.

As for the universe I'm in now: Ironically, a universe where some other deranged Alchemist tried making a supersoldier that ended up just destroying them like I did mine, the only difference is they're created by Symphogear shards and stolen blood samples. Long story short: Meet Kyouko! She's chill with all of her mothers' last names, so for the sake of word limit, let's stick to first name basis, yeah?

As for why I'm here: We're finishing off some Karma-Noise that popped up, and we tracked the last one to this sewer here. Now that you've got the gist of things, I'll make things easier for all of you and put some text in post that explains who's talking with their names in front of the quotes.

The cool clone (me) "For your information, I was just making sure my Noise-swords still worked. Unlike Symphogears, they can dull pretty fast after a lot of fights."

The other clone (Kyouko) "Then can you at least be a normal person and sharpen them against something other than your flesh? I'd rather not deal with more Noise than we need to right now."

Big K "Eh, the job's almost done, so who cares about some easily dealt with extras?"

Little K "Clearly I d- You know what? No. I'm not humoring your idiocy."

Bossman (over comms, obviously) "Kyouko-kun. Do you and Noisepool have visual on the final Karma Noise? Our sensors are saying it is near."

Symphogear Cell "Negative. No signs of Kar-"

SCREECH!

Symphogear Cell, but again "Scratch that. We've got visual on the Karma-Noise."

Papa Genjuro "Understood. Deal with them here and now before it can get away. The others are waiting at key points above the sewer should it try to escape."

Super Soldier #2 "10-4, Commander."

Super Soldier #1 "Sorry, big guy... But I'm afraid we're gonna have to put you down, now. It's not me, it's you."

Kyouko "Sorry the family reunion didn't go as planned, Noisepool-san."

Noisepool (Angered) "Okay... That was uncalled for."

First of all, Karma-Noise and Alca-Noise HYBRIDS are not related in the slightest, so that's actually kinda racist! Secondly, because of that, I'm making all of your remaining speech bubbles call you stupidsoldier! No capitalization, because that's reserved for cool people!

stupidsoldier "Let's just get this over with."

SHING!

Me "Gladly!"

Now, this would be where a cool fight scene would take place, showing off the custom Symphogear stupidsoldier got made out of scraps of the other Symphogears collected by the Illuminati and thusly stolen by her creator to make her into the ultimate weapon and my awesome Noise-infused swords that can literally cut through anything! But due to lack of budget and page limits, you'll just have to take my word for it. But know for a fact it was super awesome!

But since we can't show that here, I'll skip to the part where the dialogue isn't just me and stupidsoldier hitting things, getting hit by the Karma Noise, and eventually killing said Karma Noise.

POOF!

FIZZLE...

Noisepool (exhausted) "Hah... Hah... Good grief, they never make those things easy to fight!"

The other one (I got bored of the same name every five seconds. Sue me!) "And you have to deal with them more frequently than we do? Honestly, you have my respect for doing that shit daily..."

Kanade "Do my ears deceive me, or did you just give me praise?"

Tsundersoldier "Just a compliment for dealing with these things more than we do. Don't let it go to your head."

Smugade "I'm pretty sure I know the difference between what you said and a compliment."

Kyouko "Whatever... Let's just report back to the Commander already."

Noisepool "Sounds like a plan. And hey? Maybe before I leave this universe, I can see what traits you inherited from the cheerful Wielders? I've only seen the other 2/3rds of your parents in your personality. Surely they're in there somewhere."

Flustered Super Soldier "Are... Are you asking me out on a date?!"

And with that, I've still got that iconic Kanade Amou charm.

Noisepool "I just implied hanging out for a bit to see your fun side, but if you wanna call it a date, we can do that, too."

Kyouko (Tsundere mode) "Now I know you're just messing with me! HMPH!"

Kyouko (After a long, Tsundere-level dramatic pause) "But... I wouldn't be opposed to the idea, if it could show me your less annoying side..."

Rizzade Amou "You've got yourself a date, then."

Well... That should be a good place to end this one-shot about yours truly. I mean, I would include more about myself or our little date, but that would either fall outside of the goal of this theme, or genuinely just become a blab-fest of what I'm capable of, and I've got shit to do besides yapping about myself to people who'll only meet me this one time (yes the irony of my implied lore in having to do so with every universe I visit is not lost on me)

But with that, I'll leave it off here so the author of this can work on the notes that'll come with it when they post it outside of this fancontent channel on discord (Let's be honest, y'all already know who wrote this and know where it's going. So no need to beat around the bush of secrecy here. Especially in a fourth wall prompt, like COME ON!)

But I digress. If you read this far, leave a review to the author saying your favorite color, idk. BYE!

A/N: *AHEM* Well, there y'all have it folks!

As for why I made this: Deadpool's (and additionally Qwenpool's) recent surge in content over various medias really inspired me to write a one-shot with fourth wall breaks, since the only time I've technically done it was the first Neptunia x Symphogear one-shot (Second one was more or less during the A/Ns)

As for who Noisepool Kanade is, like explained in the one-shot, she is a special Alca-Noise Symphogear Hybrid originally made to look like Kanade Amou and was given her memories. If I were to make this into a mini-series, the whole lore would've been that she was created to be a sleeper agent and assassinate the Wielders when their guards are down. Obviously, Kanade's memories would've made Noisepool rebel, leading to a slaughter of Alchemists in a blind rage of not knowing who she is, eventually being calmed by the Symphogear Wielders arriving conveniently after the slaughter, having discovered the experiment thanks to Noisepool's creation setting off the Aufwachen Waveform detector in S.O.N.G.

"I already explained the rest from there, so no need to repeat yourself."

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!

"Just wanted to save you the trouble. I'm leaving now. BYE!"

*sigh* That being said, I want to thank you all for reading this one shot. Be sure to-

"Wait wait! Can I please say it? You already confirmed I'm getting shelved for who knows how long!"

Fine... You may do the send-off.

"Yay! *AHEM* Be sure to stay tuned to his socials for Updates, Memes, and other content. But for now, he shall see you all in the next one! Which will be a Superb Song of the Fate-Defying Valkyrie chapter."

What she said. Have a good one, y'all!