Chapter One
When I wake up, I sense strong arms wrapping around my body, and I snuggle deeper into their warmth, relishing every second of this. In this moment, an air of peace surrounds me, making the rest of the world melt away—an uncommon sensation for me. At my age, living where I do, others can attest to our childhoods being abruptly taken away from us. Our entire upbringing is centered around learning how to handle weapons efficiently and effectively dispatching those who stand on the opposing side. While other children from different districts learn how to ride bikes, and color within the lines, here in my district, we are mastering the art of throwing knives with precision and sending spears hurtling through chest cavities.
I roll over and peek through tired eyes, observing Kai's serene sleeping face. His dark brown hair cascades onto his face, gently brushing against his thick, shapely eyebrows. Usually he styles his hair meticulously pushed to one side, but one stray piece always manages to escape and fall on his forehead. Carefully, I run my fingers through his hair, ensuring I don't disturb his peaceful slumber. We are seldom permitted to sleep in, as the prevailing philosophy of our environment being when the sun is up, it's time for either training or work.
Even dormant in the land of Nod, Kai seems aged beyond his eighteen years. Years of toil, supplying fish for his family's seafood market in town, have left evidence in their wake. Though his parents expect his succession of the family business, Kai vehemently opposes those expectations. His determination to fulfill the plan he's mapped out for his own life is unwavering. His parents may still remain hopeful for a change of heart on Kai's end, but if they had any knowledge of who their son is down to his core, they would realize those hopes are futile. Kai's devotion to fighting and protecting those around him is unmatched. His dedication is evident in his skills in combat and proficiency in weaponry. It would be a tragedy for a fine specimen such as Kai to waste away on a fishing boat in the middle of the ocean for twelve hours a day.
The breeze from the open window carries the refreshing salt- kissed air of the ocean, the balmy wind caressing my exposed skin. I carefully slip out from under Kai's arm. I tuck the white linen comforter back over him. Bending down, I press my lips against the side of his head. I take the silk robe hanging over the back of my vanity chair and wrap myself in it, the thin material smooth on my skin. I slide the glass door open, stepping out onto my patio that offers a breathtaking view of the ocean. The expansive water greets me with its crashing waves and glistening surface. The wind swirls through the vibrant green vegetation in the distance, with pops of bright reds and oranges from the island flowers. Breathing in deeply, I imprint the scent of the sea into my mind. No matter how long I have lived here, I will never become desensitized to the beauty of District 4.
Observing from a distance, I watch as a small group of fishermen haul a vast net of small fish onto their boat. Usually they wait until late morning to start their arduous day of gleaning the sea of its riches. Nevertheless, today is the exception. District 4 is renowned for its export of fish and the like to the luxurious city called the Capitol. The twelve districts that surround the Capitol in the country of Panem each have a trade. Some districts are wealthier than others, and District 4 is one of them. The wealthy districts are called Career districts, with District 1 being the wealthiest of us all, providing luxury items to the Capitol. District 2, responsible for weapon manufacturing, boasts the surplus of funds, given the perpetual demand for weapons. The rest of the districts make well on their trades, some worse than others. The poorest district would have to be District 12, responsible for coal mining. Providing the Capitol with important and extravagant supplies earns you favor from the government, which in turn makes our lives better.
Everyone is heading to work early today, ensuring they have the rest of the day to celebrate. Today is Reaping Day for the 70th annual Hunger Games. Two tributes from each district aged twelve to eighteen, one female and one male are selected at random to participate in a televised arena where we compete to the death. In my district, not being chosen to participate in the Hunger Games was a somber event. I'm not naive; I understand that the majority of the districts hold the utmost disdain for the Games. If given the freedom to voice their opinions on the matter, without being publicly executed for treason, I'm sure they would.
District 1, 2 and 4 manages to supply the most fit, and highly trained individuals to the Games. While it is technically illegal to train in combat in preparation for the Games, the Career districts, including mine, defy this prohibition. The Capitol turns a blind eye to this practice, because we supply them with their much-needed delicacies. After all, they just want a good show and we consistently deliver. The Hunger Games hold the promise of fame and riches if you win, and the honor of making your district proud. That's why our training is so intense; it's about more than survival—It's about showering honor and reverence on our district.
For me, it's not about any of that; I'm just focused on surviving and not falling prey to a bloodthirsty killer. Some of the tributes, usually from the Career districts, take the Games to another terrifying level. Trained from practically birth to be a killing machine can do that to a person. One year, a tribute started eating the hearts of the children he killed. That haunting image has fueled my training ever since. I certainly don't want to end up getting my heart eaten out of my chest.
"Good morning," Kai whispers from behind my ear, causing me to jump. A smile slowly spreads across my face. I turn around to stare into his bright green eyes framed with thick lashes. It's so unfair he was blessed with better eyelashes than me. His full pink lips twitch into a half smile.
"Do you want to grab breakfast in town? Or stay here?" he asks. I press myself against his defined muscular chest. I place my lips on his jaw, the stubble prickling my soft skin.
"I think I'd prefer some breakfast in bed." I whisper, making it obvious what I really would like to do. He catches on quickly, pulling slightly away from me to allow his sparkling eyes to travel over my barely clothed body. His grip on my hips tighten, his fingertips digging into my flesh. I wind my fingers through his brown hair, tugging gently but firmly. He hoists my legs up and around his waist, as he crushes his lips to mine. Walking over to the bed, he throws me down, and immediately starts kissing my stomach. His scratchy beard scrapes against the skin there.
"You...are absolutely breathtaking…" he murmurs, traveling lower to my nether regions. He looks up at me through those lashes, as if asking permission before hooking his thumbs under my lace underwear and yanking them down with a force that screams desperation. The air feels slightly cold until I feel his warm breath across my inner thighs.
We make love to each other for possibly the last time, considering the Reaping starts in a couple hours. The sadness is thick in the air as he grabs me firmly, and kisses me hard. We both know this could be the very last time we will ever be this close to another. I pull him closer to me, the terror of him no longer in my life seizing all rational thought.
We collapse onto each other, basking in the aftermath. I stare at his beautiful face, the sun hitting him just right. I know I'm supposed to be excited for the Games, but deep down, fear lurks within me. I never voice this aloud, afraid of becoming an outcast in my district. However, I am not ready to surrender my life just yet, no matter the cause. At eighteen, my life has barely just begun. There is still so much more I want to do and experience, especially with Kai. I dream of eventually marrying him. I wouldn't dare have kids in this society, subjecting innocent souls to the horror of the Hunger Games. Although, creating a small home on the white sandy beaches of District 4 with Kai does have a nice ring to it.
I vividly recall the first encounter with Kai. After school, everyone in my grade gathered in our combatives room for our weekly practice of hand to hand combat. We don't believe in separating males from females during training since we'd have to fight each other anyways in the arena. There were strict rules about how to grab each other, and how hard we fought one another. Even with the rules in place I was still nervous to fight the males. Most of them towered over me and were three times my size.
Our combatives instructor, the barefoot Mr. Hayes, walked into the room dressed in black shorts, and a black t-shirt that was so tight you could see each individual muscle on his abdomen. He exuded a no-nonsense demeanor, and conducted our training very seriously, as if our lives depended on it. Which in our reality, they do.
He took his place on the large blue mat in the center of the room and split us into two groups. An even mix of females and males. It didn't matter how much your opponent weighed, regardless of the difference, you were still required to fight them. I noticed the females were more tenacious, engaging in grittier and dirtier fighting tactics. Perhaps it has something to do with the biological disadvantage we have against males, compelling us to have to compensate.
I watched intently at the first two males who grappled and flipped one another over again until one of them accepted defeat. The winner of the fight would then fight the next person until no one remained in the group. I was the second person up. The tall man in front of me started quickly stretching. I don't remember seeing this man in front of me in school. He was leaner than his opponent who was Dale Carter. Dale was a shorter man but stockier and heavier. Mystery Man took his place opposite of Dale, and when Mr. Hayes started the timer, they circled one another, fists up protecting their face.
Dale lunged forward and tried to grab the collar of Mystery Man, but he deflected his reach, and jumped behind Dale instantly snaking his arm around Dale's throat. Mystery Man brought his left arm up near Dale's ear and his right hand grabbed his bicep, strangling Dale. Dale tried to duck his chin, and push his arm off his throat, but it was no use. Mystery Man was stronger than he anticipated. Next, Dale dropped all his body weight, and took his assailant with him. Dale then was on top of Mystery Man, who wrapped his legs around Dale's waist, and brought his knees towards him, forcing Dale closer. In less than ten seconds, Dale was then in an arm bar. Mystery Man pulled up on Dale's arm and then Dale tapped the mat frantically, resembling a fish out of water.
It was now my turn. I swallowed nervously, there was no way in hell I was bringing Mystery Man down, but I'll be damned if I didn't try. We got in position, and his green eyes traveled the length of my body, sizing me up. The fact that he was attractive made me all the more intimidated. He immediately got closer to me, going for my collar, so I ducked and dropped to the floor, grabbing the back of his knee and rolling to the side, on my shoulder.
This took him by surprise because he barely caught himself before his face hit the floor. He then used his momentum, and rolled forward, his leg breaking out of my hold. I quickly rolled forward, in fear he was about to choke me. His fingers brushed the back of my neck as I just barely missed being grabbed by him. I stood up and whirled around but he was too fast. He grabbed my waist and threw me down to the mat, knocking the wind out of my lungs. He was still standing over me, so I knew I had only one way out. I wrapped my legs around his waist, while simultaneously collapsing his left arm. I opened my legs just enough to swing my left leg in front of his face, and trap his face behind my crossed legs. I grabbed his right arm and started pulling. I underestimated his strength because he then picked me up. I let my left leg drop, so he now held my right leg. I reacted instinctively and punched him square in the jaw about half as hard as I could. Which was definitely not allowed. He then dropped me like a sack of potatoes.
Mr. Hayes blew his whistle harshly and chastised me for breaking the rules. I tried justifying my actions by emphasizing he was preparing us for the arena, and such maneuvers would be necessary there. However, Mr. Hayes firmly disapproved of my explanation. Mystery Man grabbed his jaw and rubbed it, opening and closing his mouth to assess the damage. A medic that was always on standby for our training sessions rushed over and assessed him. He ended up being fine save for a bruise.
"I'm Kai," he said to me, extending his hand. I took it gently and shook it once. His eyes now seemed to assess me as a worthy opponent.
"I'm sorry about punching you," I apologized, my cheeks warming. Ever since that day in the combatives room, it was challenging getting rid of Kai. He would spontaneously appear wherever I was. At first I thought there was a real possibility of him stalking me, but District 4 isn't a very large place. There's only so many places you can go before you run out of things to do. We spent everyday together from then on, and now, we find ourselves in one another's arms, enveloped in bliss.
Tears start to well up in my eyes. Before Kai can look at me, I turn my head into his shoulder, wiping them away without a trace. I can't bear the thought of being ripped away from him or vice versa.
"Your mother will be home soon, no?" he asks, pulling me out of my pity party. My mother has been a Peacekeeper for years. She left when I was just born to go to the Peacekeeper Academy in District 2. She was only eighteen when she had me, so I spent the first year of my life raised by my grandparents, although I don't remember that. They died shortly after my mother made it home, and then I was looked after by our neighbor Clymene.
Clymene is a petite elderly woman who had lost her husband about a decade ago. They never had children, so I was welcome company. Peacekeepers aren't allowed to have families, but my mother got around this by claiming I was being raised by my grandparents, and then eventually Clymene. She told them she wanted nothing to do with me. Of course that wasn't true, but to the people who mattered, it went unquestioned. My mother graduated top in her class and was awarded a special decoration by President Snow himself. She's sort of a legend around here, everyone knows her and loves her. That's part of the reason no one rats her out to the officials about her and I living in the same house. To be around my mother is to love her. She takes pride in her work, and isn't complacent. Everyone appreciates that about her. Whenever there's a disturbance or whenever the citizens of our district need her, she is always there. She's kind but firm when she needs to be.
I look around at the sheets and pillows on the floor, the bottle of wine on the dresser in the corner of my room. My mother doesn't mind Kai sleeping over, seeing as how she's never really home much. However, I know for a fact she will not be happy about the wine.
"She doesn't get home until after the Reaping. But we do need to clean this up." I tell him, unwrapping myself from his embrace. He throws himself back on the bed dramatically. I roll my eyes and quickly start picking up, making sure to put the wine bottle at the bottom of the trash.
When the house looks decent enough, Kai swings me up into his arms, my legs dangling. He winks at me as he carries me to the bedroom and throws me on the bed. I trace his lips with my finger, and press my lips firmly against his. I slide my tongue into his mouth, savoring the taste of him. My hand travels to his strong jaw, pulling his face closer to mine. He laughs lightly, pulling his face back from mine. His green eyes travel down my body, his hand cupping my breast. I hug him tighter, nuzzling my face into his neck.
"We should probably get ready now," he says, standing up, bringing me with him. I marvel at his chiseled body as we walk to the bathroom. All those years of rigorous exercise have definitely paid off.
"I love you." I tell him, smiling softly. He glances down at me, and kisses my forehead. He wraps his arm around me, pulling me closer while he waits for the temperature to regulate in the shower.
"I love you too, don't you forget it." He slaps my bottom, pushing me into the stream of hot water. He climbs in after me, and closes the glass door.
"Kai, do you ever get nervous before the Reaping?" I ask, watching him carefully. He turns to look at me, bewildered. I hand him his soap and sponge.
"Why on earth would I be nervous? I hope to get picked." he says, soaping up his chest. The scent of mint and eucalyptus envelop us, as we wash our bodies.
"Well, I was just wondering." I say quietly, shrinking back into myself. Kai is so patriotic, I could never express my true feelings about the Games. I don't think I could bear the wedge that would form between us if I did.
"Are you scared of being picked?" he asks, raising an eyebrow. I am the worst liar, so I choose to say nothing. "Amara, it is an honor to be picked to represent District 4." he says with a hard tone.
"No, I know! I was just asking a question…" I trail off. I knew I shouldn't have said wash ourselves in silence for the remainder of the shower. He hands me my towel wordlessly. I watch his face trying to decipher what he's thinking but it's a blank sheet.
Stepping out of the shower, I immediately throw my dark brown locks up in a towel. I glance at the digital clock on the nightstand. We have one hour before we are expected at the town square to get signed in for the Reaping. One hour before everything could change.
I dress in a long white dress that brushes my toes when I walk. The skirt of the dress is a flowy linen material, and the bodice of the dress is a corset with a scoop neckline. The corset is covered in the same linen as the rest of the dress. It's a simple look that I dress up with small gold hoop earrings, and my sun tanned brown leather sandals. I adjust my cleavage trying to cover up more, but it's no use. It's not an insane amount of cleavage, but enough to know I have breasts.
"You look beautiful." Kai says, grabbing me. I turn to face him. He's wearing a white button up, and khaki shorts. My Heart squeezes. God, he is so attractive. I can't imagine a world where he doesn't exist. He brings my knuckles up to his mouth, and plants a soft kiss on them. He reaches in his pocket and produces a long jewelry box.
"You know I love you, right?" he tells me. For some reason, the tone of his voice is causing a pit in the bottom of my stomach.
"Yes…" I whisper. He flips open the lid of the black velvet box, and inside is a gold necklace. A single round diamond hangs from a thin gold chain. The chain looks so fragile I feel like I could break it by just picking it up.
"I haven't said anything to you, because I wanted to wait for their answer first, but I've been accepted into the Peacekeeper's Academy." He says, and then my whole world crashes around me. I was wrong when I thought our worlds would change in one hour. It was more like fifteen minutes. The Peacekeepr's Academy is nine months long, and you don't choose where you get stationed. So the fact that he applied means he doesn't see me in his future…He just picked duty and service to President Snow over me. I stare at the necklace that is used to soften the blow. I'm sorry I'm tossing you aside as if you mean nothing to me, but here's a sparkly necklace.
"Why are you telling me all this, now? Before we go to the Reaping?" I question him, pulling away from him. He frowns, and tries to grab me, but I dodge him.
"I just thought that it would be like ripping off the bandage. We don't know what will happen today. If you know I won't be here to come home to, maybe it would make it easier for you to leave. I love you so much and these past six months have meant more to me than anything, but I have a job to do. I feel this is my calling." He explains, running his fingers through his hair, sweeping a stray hair back into the neatly combed hairstyle. I can't fault him for following his dreams. I just wish I was part of that dream. He knows that Peacekeepers are required by law to serve our country, Panem, for twenty years without marriage or children, and my mother barely got by the skin of her teeth.
"Am I supposed to wait around for you? When do you leave?" I ask him, my tone seething. I was nervous getting picked during the Reaping, but now I'm more afraid I'll stay here.
"I leave after the Reaping. I can't ignore who I am meant to be. If I don't do it now, I'll stay here and end up fishing for my father's business my whole life." He says, leaning closer. He presses his forehead to mine. I am crushed. It feels like someone took my heart and pressed it so hard it turned to powder.
"I hope you get everything you want, and more." I say, my voice barely above a whisper. He takes the necklace and hooks it in place around my neck. I look down, and hold the diamond in between my fingers. On the back of the diamond, is a gold plate that has an inscription. My whole heart.
He used to say that I took his whole heart that day in the combatives room. I used to make fun of him and ask if he was sure it wasn't just a quarter. It became an inside joke between us. I let the tears fall this time. At least I hadn't done my makeup yet. His warm fingers wipe the tears away. I look into his smoldering green eyes, and if I didn't know any better I would say they were on the verge of tears as well. He kisses me urgently, crushing my body to his. I let him. I want to feel loved by him one last time before I'll never have his kisses again. I want to feel his hands on my skin before I forget what that feels like. Earlier, the possibility of it being the last time wasn't as depressing as it is now. Now, we know it will be the last time.