Dave didn't really want to invite Brian over, but dang if the poor [BARP] didn't need someone to figure out what was going on with him. Of course, everyone relied on Dave for that sort of thing. His debonair, effortless charm cooled even The Derrick Man at his most overheated, and Dave knew it. His head still ached at the thought of having to make small talk with that uptight nerd. He wouldn't say that to Brian's face; no, he'd be a perfect gentleman. Ruminating over this in the empty concert hall, he waited anxiously for his "guest of honor" to arrive. He checked his Rolex; 6 minutes till 9pm. Dave sort of stared at his wrist absentmindedly, idly remembering the feeling of a dancing partner's hand in his. He had to visit Buck sometime soon, tomorrow maybe. The clock hit 5-till when a methodical "Knock knk knk knk Knock" rang loudly through the room.
"Two Bits~," retorted Dave. Brian having enough of a sense of music to greet him with "shave and a haircut" wasn't what he expected, but it was a welcome surprise.
The door opened and Brian stepped in, gingerly closing the big, theatre door behind him. Not a sound from anywhere in the room, the door didn't even creak in its usual way. His soundless methodicality sent a chill down Dave's spinal circuit. Brain stepped toward the front of the room, staring straight through Dave as if he wasn't there, and sat down at a table. Like Some… Audience Member. The little purple cog tapped his fingers together expectantly, summoning the image of a weathered talent scout used to one too many disappointments in Dave's mind. This really didn't Bode.
"Pretty thinker, come on up to the stage! You're the guest of honor after all, it'd be silly to have you sit in the audience like everyone else!"
"Who else?" he peered around the room, "What audience? There is no one here but us." Brian inquired flatly, raising an eyebrow.
Dave wanted to strangle him right there. All those brains and absolutely no imagination. "I'm just playing around. I want you to feel welcome is all, Babe," he assured, gently as he could muster. "So what's the Haps? How's work, how's life how's thingsssss?"
Brian squinted, his brain visibly twitching in his dome, appearing to seriously consider the simplest, most idle small talk. After what felt to Dave like too long, he asked, "Could you do me a favor and ask one question of substance instead of four that mean nothing intelligent whatsoever?"
Dave seriously considered calling it quits right there. Glancing at his watch, he could tell it hadn't even been 2 minutes since Brian creepily made his way in here, and Dave wanted nothing more than to put him through a window. William Boar may have had the most BORING idea of fun in the history of COGS, but at least he had one. But there it was, the intelligent question.
"What do ya like to do… for fun? Ya' know, entertainment and all that super necessary enrichment stuff?"
Brain's creepy little, oblong, glass-covered lump of biomass twitched again, an answer probably incoming, Dave hoped. "I play solitaire." He stared into the baseboard, brows furrowed.
"Anything else? Anything you do with a friend?"
Brian scoffed, "Don't patronize me. You know I do better on my own, and that's how I prefer it." He leaned back in his chair, entire body freezing into a sternly relaxed position.
Did Brian have friends? Dave knew he and Buck used to be close, then that faulty repair incident happened, and goodness knows he couldn't get anything comprehensible out of Buck on the subject, try as he might to explain it. Dave's motor twinged at the idea he had already hit a sore spot with the little wackadoo. He reasoned there wasn't really any way around it, all spots were sore ones with Brian.
"Can I get you anything to drink? Cog-ffee, Wine, sparkle water, Coca-Coolant?" Dave asked, trying to smooth the conversation back into something bearable.
Brain raised an eyebrow. "sparkle water?" he asked, a tone of evident confusion in his voice. Had he never had sparkle water? It seemed like the sort of boring, overly refined thing someone like Brian would like, and Dave took it as a vital duty to get him some.
"Comin Right Up Babe!" he sang, and twirled off to the bar. He got him a juice glass, small in case he didn't like it, but not so small it would seem stingy. He danced back to the table and set down the cup of seltzer in front of Brian, who only seemed more confused.
Brian dipped his finger into the glass, stirred it a little, picked it up, and looked through it from the bottom. Finishing his investigation, he set the glass back down, looked unamusedly at Dave, and said, "Oh. You meant SparklING water."
It took every ounce of restraint in Dave's system to not drag him to the restroom and give this twerp a Swirly.
Brian interrupted Dave's uncharacteristically violent train of thought, "I've heard it called a few things; seltzer water, fizzy water, bubbly, even though bubbly obviously means champagne, bubble water, sparkle-ING water, and I have even heard it incorrectly attributed as tonic water. Sparkle water is a new one, a fitting enough name I suppose, but where did you get that term from?"
"Buck called it that once and I rather liked the way it-" Dave caught himself mid- sentence with a start; of course he'd mention Buck before he got a chance to open Brian up to him. Brain didn't give any indication that he cared about a thing he was saying. He seemed more confused as to why he'd stopped talking.
"Are you well, Mr. Brubot? You were telling me a story. Go ahead and see if you can't finish it." Brian requested, no obvious emotion in his voice beyond mild, yet condescending frustration at his pausing.
"Sparkle.. water. We- …Buck wanted to go out and grab some poker chips and I thought those'd taste nice with a nice glass of…"
Dave felt his face get a little steamy, and Brian saw him hesitate; he wheeled his hand around and beckoned him to continue, adding, "Seltzer?"
"Well, I called it tonic water at the time. Which I s'pose I should have figured wasn't right, especially since Buckeroo thought water with tonic in it sounded nasty, so I explained it was just… what I called sparkling water. Anyway we got to the Cog-venience store and Buck didn't miss a beat. He sauntered up to the cashier and asked for 'a bag of poker chips and a sparkle water.' It was charming, 'least I thought so," Dave finished with a smile.
Brian stared wide eyed at Dave, his brain twitching and humming, his lower face plate shifting around slightly. His expression switched into neutral with a click, "It's… good."
"The story?" asked Dave. It was cute, but Brian caring a hang for that hadn't been on his bingo card.
"-that Buck has a friend like you… one that finds his antics amusing." Brian's eyes drifted back to the baseboard at the end of the stage. "he… uh.. needs one of those, has for a long time I think," he finished, so quietly the only reason Dave didn't give him a hard time for mumbling was that he was still perfectly intelligible.
Even so, Dave could hardly believe his audio receptors. Brian cared. He didn't just care, he was invested in Buck being happy. Dave kicked himself inside for assuming the worst of Brian just because he was an awkward little weirdo. He wanted to pry so badly. He wanted to know why their respective department heads had ordered them not to interact, but refused to move either of them to a separate district. It seemed like asking for trouble.
"Do you miss him?" Dave dared to ask. Please don't close up on me now, you're doing too good.
Brian went utterly motionless except for his brain. It still twitched, faster than before even. His body creaked, still not moving. Slowly, he turned his head upward and glared bullets into Dave's face.
"Don't pretend to care about me," Brain spat. "I know what you really think." he got up and began pacing next to the table.
Dave sighed, knowing he'd put too many eggs in one basket. Resigning, he deigned to ask, "And what's that?"
"The same as everybody else thinks! That's the whole reason I'm here isn't it? You think you can just TRICK me, or BEG me to just stop being an [BARP]hole and fix Buck, well guess what? I already Tried! I'm banned from seeing him, and even if I went under the company's noses, Buck turned down my offer to undo the modification because he thinks I want to make him stupid for some [WAH] reason! Everyone thinks I'm a monster, but I never did anything HE didn't ask me to do! HE signed the waiver, HE made the request in the first place, and HE doesn't want to let me fix… UNDo the… BE QUIET! STOP YELLING!"
Dave was silent, he had been for the entire time Brian had been spiraling. He wanted to take him by the hand and tell him it would be okay, that there was still a way out of this mess. The only things holding him back were the nagging feeling he might make it worse… again, and the dangerous looking sparks popping off Brian's eye sockets. But… doing nothing would be making it worse.
"Thinker-doll, look at me."
Brian was crouched on the floor, his head jerking left every few seconds, "don'- tell me wh-t -o do."
His audio was dropping; his head was going to explode wasn't it? Dave begged, "Please."
Brian turned his head slowly, barely able to push past the rusty-stiff jerking of his own neck. "-hat do y-u want-t." what little he was able to say came out hoarsely bitcrushed. He finally achieved eye contact with Dave.
"I'm sorry." Dave kneeled down across from him and took Brian's head in his hands, letting it twitch and stroking the glass dome with one thumb. "I wasn't thinking of all that stuff you were worrying about, but you're right about me just inviting ya here because I want to get Buck back to normal… whatever that even means. It's not fair to ya, that no one asks how you're doing, 'cept to get something they want."
He sort of expected Brian to get upset with him for grabbing his head, to pull away. He didn't, he just stared into Dave's chest and made a lot of clicking noises. The neck jerking slowed, but his brain still pulsed a mile a minute.
"he-e-e-e's sti—ll in pai- i-n't he- e. miserable-le because I- I— I I- could-coul-n't-t-t, I'm no-o-ot allowed to-"
"Just sit for a minute, babe. Let the pressure on your head go down." Dave reached up, grabbed the glass of sparkle water, and held it out to Brian.
PrThnkr: [I must look awful. He's going to take me down to repairs and they'll strap me down and tear me to bits one piece at a time. Cheaper than fixing me I suppose. Nice of him to offer me water first. Of course my proboscis is stuck, broken like everything else. Maybe I am à̷̱͚͈n̶̳͓̐̇̃̃ͅ ̸̹̯̗̿̌̓͝i̷̬͕̇̑̈́̓ͅd̷̨̪̹͊̚ì̸̡̻̿̕o̵̳͌̅͝͝ț̶͚͚̆…No. I can't let this irrational emotion get to me. b̶̭͓͈̲̏̇̒ṷ̸̰̗̇̓ţ̷̢͉̺̑ ̸̢̼̪̤̠̉̄̾̊̽̀ǐ̷̛̹̠̮ṱ̶͒̑̊̄ ̴̼̥͙̰͚̯̾͒̆̋â̴̛̛̞̠̬̓̐͝l̴̦͎͍̬̗̭̆̽̍r̵̢̭͕̺̻̯͉͝e̴͚͇̯̼̒̎a̵̧̪̮͎̞͊͒̎̈́͜d̵̦̬͊̀̀y̸̦̙̍́̈́̏ ̶̙̮͖͆͛̈͘͝͠h̵̢̗̫̟̼̻̔͑̒͝ͅḁ̷̰͛̂́̿̇s̵̯̫̪̖̒͆.]
BrBt:{Guess he's not going to take this. I'll just set 'er down here, 'case he changes his mind. Is this glitchy, messy feeling why he avoids "dwelling on the past"? I guess lots of people would become all loner-y and weird if they were running from all that. Bad news is that there's an obvious fix for his predicament. Worse news is that he's too smart not to know what it is. I won't rub it in though, not tonight.}
Brian's face was still emitting sparks, albeit smaller, heavier ones. Dave supposed that, given the accompanying, almost silent, sobbing, that was just what it looked like when he cried. He didn't want to see Brian like this. Sure it might not have been as bad as Buck's head problems, but it wasn't much better either.
Dave cocked his head up, a silent signal asking Brian to stand on his own two feet. The message was received, and together, Dave pulling Brian's stiff little body up with him, they stood up. Brian supported his own weight quite well all things considered. Even so, Dave kept on arm around him while he rifled through his suit jacket. Gentle as a hummingbird, he pulled out a vinyl record, which in his big old hand, looked to Brian like a little black potato chip. It was a fiddly thing to manage with one hand, but Dave set the disc into his hat and started it playing.
"Dance with me?" Dave asked.
"I don't know i-i-f I can," Brian responded, looking pathetically at his feet.
"Just let me take you with me then."
Brian nodded. Dave lifted him up by the hands, set Brian's feet on his, and waltzed gracefully to the comedy album he'd accidentally put in instead of Sinatra. By the time either of them noticed, Brian let himself think the lyrics felt darkly meaningful in a silly, stupid way.
'Cause you're sort of everything I ever wanted
You're not perfect, but I love you anyhow
You're the woman that I've always dreamed of
Well not really, but you're good enough for now