A parody of the episode: Pop Goes The Ed. This chapter is also an alternative version of TLH episode-Pasture Bedtime.
It was a hot summer day in Royal Woods. Lincoln and his friends ran over to an ice cream truck as they were sweating from the heat.
"Come on guys," Lincoln said. "We're almost there."
They arrived.
"Hey, do you have any ice cream left?"
"Sorry guys, the cooler broke and the last tub of ice cream melted." The ice cream man said.
"I don't care man. I'll take what I can get." Rusty said.
"Yeah, me too." Zach said.
The ice cream man took out a tub of ice cream and handed it to Rusty. "Here. You guys don't need to pay. You look desperate enough."
He left. Rusty looked at the ice cream. "Aw man, this one has nuts in it."
Rusty threw the tub away.
"No, wait!" Zach went after the tub of ice cream but the ice cream spilled onto the ground. "Dang it."
"So what do you fellers wanna do now?" Liam asked.
"Let's go to my place." Lincoln suggested.
As the boys walked back to Lincoln's neighborhood, the heat seemed to be getting stronger.
"What's up with this heat?!" Lincoln yelled as he sweated. "Shade! I need shade! Look!"
He pointed to a shady spot on the ground. The boys leapt onto the shady spot.
"Ah, shade."
But the shade started to disappear. Clyde felt the heat on his skin. "Oh no."
"This isn't good." Lincoln said. "We need to find some more shade."
The five boys went over to a different spot, but the shade vanished for every shady spot they went to.
"I know how we can cool off." Lincoln said.
Inside the Loud house, Lincoln had the fridge and freezer open which let the cool air out. The boys were relaxed. Then Lori and her friends entered the kitchen.
"Hey twerp, me and my friends want to use the fridge." Lori said.
"You'll have to wait. We were here first." Lincoln said.
"Well, we were born first."
"That excuse isn't going to work, Lori. We're staying right here."
"But guys, there's another ice cream truck outside our house that's giving away free ice cream for kids."
"Wait, really?"
The five boys rush outside and they see no ice cream truck. Lori locked the front door and Lincoln realized they'd been tricked.
"Dang it."
The five boys were crawling on sand, hot and sweaty.
"Need...water." Lincoln groaned.
"H20 please." Clyde said.
"I'm frying!" Rusty whined. "The fat lady just sang, boys."
"My life is flashing before my eyes." Zach said.
"What life?"
The boys are seen in a sandbox. Chandler walks up to them. "What are you guys doing?"
The boys get up. "Nothing."
"Dorks." Chandler rides off on his bike.
"Hey Chandler, where are you going?" Lincoln asked.
"To Girl Jordan's pool party, stupid!"
"A pool party?"
"And you need an invitation to get in!"
"Did you hear that, boys?" Lincoln said to his friends. " A pool party! This is our chance to cool off and score some social points too."
"Then we've got some preparations to do." Rusty said. "I know where to start."
At Rusty's house, the five boys were in Rusty's room.
"It's time to put the plan into action." Rusty said as he searches through his drawer. "Relax guys. Don't do anything I wouldn't. Make yourselves at home."
The others sat on Rusty's bed. Rusty took out a key. "Oh yeah, now we're cruising."
"Now for the secret of schmoozing, the rapture of rap, the snap crackle pop of cool."
He went over to his closet and opened it. A few other doors opened up to reveal a briefcase inside. "Hire a secretary, boys."
He uses the key to unlock the briefcase. The other boys come over. "Now this-no peeking-this will be a day you'll never forget."
He shows them the unlocked briefcase and opens it. "Check it out. Swimsuits of the gods. Well ok, they're my cousin's."
"They look like napkins." Clyde said.
"Cool briefcase Rusty." Zach commented.
Rusty puts on music and puts on his swimsuit. He adds hair gel, lotion, and draws chest hair on his chest. He puts on sunglasses and takes a towel with him. The other boys have their swimsuits on too.
"Um, I think they're a bit too confining." Clyde mentioned.
"No way Jose, we're cooking." Rusty assured them. "People used to try and be cool, but now it's hot. We're hot!"
"I'm half baked." Liam said.
"I still prefer my swimsuit." Lincoln said.
Rusty hands towels to his friends. "Ok, so we look good, we feel good. So off to the party. We're gonna be hip, we're gonna be hot, we're gonna make the scene."
The boys head off to Girl Jordan's place.
The five boys make it to the party and peek over the fence. They look around and see a lot of students from their school.
"Wow. Everybody's here." Lincoln said.
"I'm gonna check out the tat station." Zach said.
"I have to go on the water slide." Clyde confirmed.
"I'm gonna make a cannonball record." Lincoln declared.
"I'm hitting the buffet table." Liam stated.
"Wait guys, the entrance to a party is everything." Rusty said. The boys huddled and Rusty explained more.
The boys charged into the yard, attempting to do their grand entrance but crashed into a table.
"We could've planned that better." Lincoln groaned.
Chandler walked up to the five boys. "Did you dorks even get an invitation?"
"We're so cool we don't need invitations." Rusty boasted. Chandler used a sponge to erase Rusty's drawn chest hairs. "My penciled chest hairs!"
Rusty growled and pulled Chandler's swim trunks up to his chest. The two boys were about to fight but Girl Jordan stopped them.
"Now boys, this is a party. Relax, have fun."
Chandler just walked away. Girl Jordan noticed Lincoln and the others. "Did Chandler tell you guys you needed an invitation?"
"Yep." Lincoln said.
"Well don't listen to him. He was probably just messing with you guys. All fifth graders from our class were invited, so join the party."
"Alright!" Lincoln cheered.
"Time to mingle with the ladies." Rusty said. Then his stomach growled. "After I get something to eat, can't mingle on an empty stomach."
At the buffet table, Rusty gets a sandwich and Liam guzzles down a "beverage."
"This beverage sure hits the spot." Liam said. Rusty noticed what he was drinking.
"Dude, that's hot sauce."
"Ah know. Where can I get more of this stuff?"
Zach is at the tat station, applying tattoos on his face, stomach, and arm. Lincoln and Clyde are in the pool.
"Hey, look who showed up for the cannonball contest!" Molly is seen with a group of people as they approach Lincoln and Clyde.
"You're on, Molly!" Lincoln said.
Rusty had finished making his subway sandwich, which was pretty big. When he tried to take a bite, the ingredients spilled onto the ground. "Dang it."
Zach came over. "Hey Rusty, did you mingle with any ladies?"
"Not yet." Then Rusty, Liam, and Zach saw some kids walking their way. "You two, get out there and mingle."
Rusty pushed Liam and Zach up front.
"Hey, have you guys seen Attack of the Zombie Brain Munchers?" Zach said to the kids.
"The operation I saw involved fascinating new brain extraction techniques." Liam said.
"By hideous mutants with huge drooling mouths."
"So precautions had to be taken to avoid contamination."
"From popping eyeballs and swelling brains."
"An incision was made to relieve tremendous pressure."
"But it was too late, his head exploded!"
The kids looked uncomfortable.
"With the slicing and the cleaving, the gnashing and the severing-"
"Bloody! Gory!" Liam and Zach said in unison as they demonstrated what happened in their respective shows. One kid fainted and the other kids left. Rusty slaps his forehead.
"Guys! Guys!" Rusty grabbed both of them. "Stop talking shock! I said mingle."
Then groovy guitar music was heard playing from the stereos and everyone started dancing. "Come on guys, let's mambo!"
Rusty, Liam, and Zach joined the dancing group of kids. Lincoln and Clyde were still by the pool.
"Wait, Molly! I'm about to do my cannonball!" Lincoln called. Lincoln jumped into the pool, making a big splash. "Did you see that, Molly?"
Molly was not paying attention as she was dancing with her friends.
"Oh come on!"
"Well, I saw it, Lincoln." Clyde said. "Let's go join the crowd."
Then Lincoln noticed something. "Uh oh. I lost my swimsuit."
"That's not good. Cover yourself with this." Clyde handed Lincoln a floatie. Lincoln put it around himself. Then Clyde noticed something.
"Uh Lincoln, I lost my swimsuit too."
"Here. Cover yourself with this life preserver." Lincoln gave him a life preserver. The two boys got out of the pool.
"Now what?" Clyde asked worriedly. Lincoln sees a pool house.
"To the pool house! Quick!" They ran inside and turned the lights on. Outside, Rusty, Zach, and Liam were still dancing with the crowd of kids. Rusty attempted to do a dance move to impress Zach and Liam copied him. Suddenly, their swimsuits flew off, leaving them naked. They covered their private areas. Luckily, nobody was looking.
"Over there!" Rusty pointed to a table. They quickly ran behind the table.
"What do we do now?" Zach said embarrassed. "We're naked at Girl Jordan's party!"
"Wait, where are Lincoln and Clyde?" Liam wondered. In the pool house, the two boys were playing with the stuff inside. Just then, they heard the door open and gasped. It was Rusty, Liam, and Zach.
"Guys? Thank goodness you're here." Lincoln said. "And you're...naked too."
"So let me get this straight, we all need new swimsuits?" Rusty said.
"Apparently, but we haven't found any." Clyde said.
"Let's keep searching." Lincoln said. The boys all searched. Then they heard cheering outside.
"What's going out there?" Zach wondered. The five boys peeked outside and saw Molly and her friends carrying a big cake. Zach drooled and began to walk out of the pool house but Rusty stopped him.
"Get back here! Are you nuts?"
The kids were offered cake and the five boys were in despair. About half an hour later, the pool party was still going on. Lincoln and his friends were still in the pool house, playing with the stuff inside but were still bored. They couldn't find any swim trunks so they wore floaties instead.
"Fellas, I gotta pee." Liam said.
"And I'm really thirsty." Clyde said.
"Boys, we need to get outta here." Lincoln said. "These floaties might be embarrassing to wear, but at least it's covering our nakedness."
The others agreed.
"You're right Lincoln." Zach said. "But Rusty, you get in front of me since you're taller."
The five kids walk out of the pool house.
"Hurry! Let's sneak through those bushes!" Lincoln ordered. The five of them walked through the bushes. As they did, the thorns popped their floaties and they came out completely nude. That's when a spotlight shined on them. The boys realized they were naked and covered themselves.
"Check it out!" One kid pointed. "I didn't know this was a nudist party!"
Everyone began to laugh and take pictures on their phones as the five boys looked extremely embarrassed.
"This is so going on the internet!" Chandler said as he made a video of them.
"Clyde! Clyde! Wake up Clyde!" Lincoln's voice was heard as Clyde woke up.
"Huh? Wha-what happened?"
"You got a cramp and drowned in Girl Jordan's pool." Lincoln explained. It's shown that the five boys are at Girl Jordan's place wearing their own swimsuits.
"Wait, so we're not naked?"
"Naked? What are you talking about?" Zach questioned.
"I just had this dream we were naked at Girl Jordan's party and...nevermind, it was just a dream."
"Speaking of naked, you missed this funny scene." Rusty said as she showed a video of nude Chandler covering himself on his phone. "Chandler lost his trunks in the pool."
Clyde laughed at this. "Ok, I guess I don't have to be embarrassed anymore. Wait, Rusty, what are you wearing?"
He noticed Rusty's swimsuit was the same one from his dream.
"My cousin's swimsuit. The ladies dig these."
Clyde had a worried look as he looked at the viewer.