Chapter 32: To Sir With Loud

Here's a parody of the episode: To Sir With Ed

Originally I used Lincoln as Eddy, Clyde as Double D and Girl Jordan as Nazz. But I thought it would be more interesting with Luna as Eddy, Mazzy as Double D, and Sam as Nazz. Also, the ending is similar to the ending of "Momma's Little Ed."

If you're a Samuna fan, then I hope you enjoy this chapter.

It was evening at the Loud house. In Luna and Luan's room, the teen musician is wrapped up in a blanket as she has a cold. She looks in a mirror.

"Man, I look terrible." Luna said to herself as her voice was nasally. "I'm so sick and not in a good way. Why couldn't I have gotten sick on a school day?"

Then she called Lynn Sr. "Hey Pops, is dinner ready yet?" No response. "Pops?"

She opened his door and walked into the hall. "Is anybody home?"

Her voice echoed through the house and there was nobody seen. It turned out the rest of the Louds all had plans outside and Luna was the only one at home. "Looks like I'm all alone. Bogus. I need someone to take care of me."

Cut to Mazzy's house, one of Luna's friends. The one with brunette hair that covered her eyes, like Lucy. She was drumming until her phone rang, and she answered it. "Yo Lunes, what's up?"

"Hey Mazzy."

"Why does your voice sound all nasally?"

"I'm sick and I'm home alone. I was wondering if you could look after me."

"Oh, sorry about that. But I don't want to take the risk of catching your cold."

"You'll be fine, Mazzy. I really need someone to check my temperature." She sneezes and mucus comes out of her nose. "I think I might pass out."

Luna was being a bit dramatic, but Mazzy got more concerned.

"Don't worry, Luna. I'll be on my way." Mazzy assured.

"Thanks. You're a real pal, Mazzy."

There was on knock on the Loud house's front door.

"That must be Mazzy." Luna said before sneezing. She answered the door.

"Hi Luna." This wasn't Mazzy. It was Luna's bandmate and girlfriend, Sam Sharp. Luna was surprised, not expecting to see her.

"S-Sam?"

"Sorry I'm late. I guess your family already went out. Poor Luna. I'll just get your dinner started, ok?" The blonde musician went to the kitchen, leaving the brunette musician confused. Suddenly, she was sprayed with a disinfectant spray.

"Aaauggh!"

Mazzy, who was wearing a mask and gloves, was the one who sprayed Luna as she had just arrived. Luna coughed.

"What the heck, Mazzy?"

"Sorry, I overreacted."

Then they heard sounds coming from the kitchen.

"Shh! Come here." Luna signaled and sneaked over to peek into the kitchen with Mazzy following. "Look who's making soup in my kitchen."

Mazzy was surprised when she saw Sam here. The two girls left quietly. Sam read a list.

"So dinner at seven, then get her bath ready, take her temperature, and in bed at nine."

The rockers were now in Luna's room.

"So….what's Sam doing in your house?" Mazzy asked.

"I don't know!" Luna panicked. "She just swaggered in and started making me dinner!"

Mazzy gasps as she comes to a realization. "Culinary delights? Luna, you don't suppose this could be a...date?"

"Of course. A date!" Luna said ecstatically. "Sam must've planned our first date and now I've got a date with her."

"But you're sick. You should cancel."

"I'm not that sick. And she came all the way here, I don't want to disappoint her."

"If that's what you want, I won't stop you. Just try not to get her infected."

Luna smiled. "Relax, bruh. Things will be fine. Now I have to get ready for my date with Sam."

Mazzy is waiting outside of Luna's room, giving her privacy as Luna is preparing for her date. Mazzy is looking over Luna's book about dating. It's titled: Birds, Bees, and Sweaty Palms. "It says a date begins with witty and humorous conversation, in order to discover compatibility. Interesting."

"Witty and humorous, huh?" Luna said. "Good thing I'm both of those things."

"Don't forget about respect, sincerity, and good grooming." Mazzy mentioned.

Then Luna opened his door and showed her outfit to Mazzy. She had on a robe, slippers, and was holding a pipe. "Do I look like a million bucks or what?" She blew bubbles out of his pipe.

"Or what is a good question. Though I feel the pipe is a bit much."

"Yeah, you're right." Luna threw the pipe away and looked at himself in a mirror. "Maybe I should've done something with my hair."

Mazzy entered the room. "Lunes, maybe she could write Sam a poem? An ode comparing her eyes to bottomless pools of beauty, or a sonnet detailing her boundless admiration of her personal hygiene."

"I think I'll pass on the poem." Luna suggested. She added hair gel to her hair. "I've got that old black magic." ("That Old Black Magic" by Frank Sinatra)

Then Sam called Luna from the stairs. "Supper's ready, Luna!"

Then Luna got nervous, as she felt like she was going to throw up. "Dude, you've got to help me!"

"What's wrong, Lunes?"

Luna hid under her bed sheet. "What if I sneeze on Sam and get her sick? What if she hates me for it?"

"But Luna-"

"The date's off. Forget it, I'm not moving."

Sam is ready with dinner. Wearing oven mitts, she carries a pot of soup to the dining room. "Hope you're hungry, Luna. It's my fave."

She sees Luna hiding in a blanket.

"Luna, you ok?" She sets the pot on the table. Luna pops his head out and makes a cute sneeze.

"Aw, you're adorable." Sam commented and went back into the kitchen. That comment made Luna blush.

"Did you hear that, Mazzy? She said I'm adorable."

Mazzy was under the table. He popped out. "Yeah, I heard. You're doing great so far, bruh."

"But I don't know if I can-Hide! She's coming back!"

Mazzy went back under the table and Sam came back with two bowls. One for Luna and one for herself. She poured soup into Luna's bowl. "I hope you like my soup. It'll make you feel better. I made it just for you."

She gave Luna her bowl. She sweated and smiled nervously. Sam helped herself to some soup as she sat across from Luna.

"Why doesn't she say something?" Mazzy wondered. She poked her head out from under the table. "Psst! Luna, compliment Sam on her cooking. Go on, say it."

"Uh, Sam, your soup smells amazing." Luna commented.

"Aw, Luna." Sam was flattered by the compliment.

Uneased, Luna bit off part of the table and ate it.

"Weird." Sam commented. She continued drinking her soup.

"Dude, a little help here?" Luna whispered. Mazzy stuck her arms out and tried to get the bowl closer to feed Luna by pulling on the tablecloth but the hot soup accidentally poured onto Luna's lap. Luna was in pain, but she tried not to scream.

"Whoops. My bad." Mazzy said regretfully.

Sam noticed how messy Luna was. "Luna, look at you. You're a mess."

Luna smiled sheepishly and Sam chuckled. "I think it's time someone had a bath."

Then the doorbell rang. "I'll get it, while you get ready." When Sam went to answer the door, Mazzy came out from under the table.

"That was an accident, Luna, I swear." Mazzy started cleaning the soup off Luna. "But a warm bath should unstuff you."

"That was so embarrassing...and painful." Luna groaned, still in pain.

Sam opened the door to see Liam in his Royal Ranger uniform. He read something from a piece of paper. "Good evening, Mrs. Loud, we represent the Royal Rangers. As you can see, we're proud to offer you-"

"A chocolate statue in the shape of a chicken." Zach presented, as he was also in his Royal Rangers uniform. Behind Zach, there was a huge block of chocolate. Liam continued reading.

"Yes, it's unbelievable. Let us demonstrate its uses." Liam looked up and was surprised to see Sam.

"Uh, hey." She greeted him. Confused, Liam looked at the house zip code.

"Ranger Zach, bring me the map." Zach gave Liam the map. Liam looked at it. "You claim this is Lincoln's house, but I see some unrecognizable girl at the door. No badge!" He removed a badge from Zach's vest.

"Hey Liam, can I be a Royal loser too?" Chandler was there on his bike, as he mocked Liam and Zach.

"Stop following us." Liam said annoyed. Then Chandler rode off.

The lead ranger turned his attention back to the blonde teen. "Sorry about this, ma'am. We thought this was someone else's house.

"Wait, did you mention Lincoln?" Sam questioned.

"Er, yes?"

"Lincoln Loud? This is his house. I'm just a guest here."

Zach glared at Liam. "So this means I was right!"

Liam smiled sheepishly.

Upstairs, Mazzy was getting Luna's bubble bath ready in the bathroom. "Just a slight adjustment...and your warm bath is ready."

"Get over it, Mazzy." Luna said.

"But Lunes, Sam expects-"

"But nothing! I'm not getting in the bath."

Then they heard Sam's voice. "I hope you're in that tub, young lady!"

"She sounds annoyed." Mazzy said. "Please Luna, get in the tub!"

"Nope." Luna refused.

"Excuse me, but is that a word? Luna, don't forget about the foundations of "courtship."

"I think you need a bath."

"But it's your date."

"At least I can get one."

Mazzy gasped. "Touché. Alright then, I guess you'd rather stay sick."

Luna sneezed again and then gave in. "Ok, ok, I'll do it because I'm sick."

Mazzy smiled and headed out to give Luna some privacy. "Have a nice bath, Lunes." She shut the door and left.

"This would've been more romantic with scented candles." Luna commented as she was relaxing in the tub.

In the living room, Liam was presenting his block of chocolate to Sam, who was on the couch. "Look, learn, and be amazed. Only in the Royal Rangers will you learn the craft of chocolate sculpting."

"If you're a boy, that is." Zach mentioned.

Liam hits the block with a hammer, making the hard chocolate crumble and revealing a chocolate sculpture of a chicken. "Behold, a chicken!"

"Impressive." Sam commented.

"Now we must be on our way. You can keep the chicken. Bye." Liam and Zach waved goodbye to Sam.

"I better go check on Luna." Luna said and went up the stairs. Mazzy was in Luna's room, reading the dating book again.

"Luna!" Sam called.

"Oh no, she's skipping a chapter." Mazzy said worriedly, as he looked over the dating book. Then she peeked out the door.

"Luna, how're you doing in there?" Sam was outside the bathroom.

"Fine, fine. I'm okay!"

"Alright then." Sam went back downstairs. Luna sighed in relief. "This bubble bath is relaxing. I'm starting to feel better."

She got another soap bottle and added some to the bubble bath, but it formed lots of green bubbles that began to rise up.

"What the-what kind of soap is this?" Luna read the label. "Lisa's experimental soap?! Don't use without Lisa's permission."

The bubbles began to flood the bathroom and Luna yelled for help. "Help! Help! Help!"

Mazzy heard her cries and came over. "Luna, what's wrong?"

"Too many bubbles, bruh!"

Sam heard the commotion and cane upstairs too. "What's going on up-" She saw Mazzy. "Wait, Mazzy? What are you doing here?"

"Well, I was looking after Luna."

Sam got confused. "You? But I was-"

They heard a banging on the bathroom door. Suddenly, it burst open and the teens got hit by a flood of soap that spread into the hallway. Then the bubbles cleared. Sam, however, was not happy about this as she soaked wet.

"This is not cool, dude! Bedtime now!"

"Bedtime?" Luna said, confused.

"You have to do what I say. That's what your parents hired me for."

"Your parents hired you to date me?"

"Date? They hired me to look after you, dude. Because you're sick."

"Ohhhhhhh." Luna and Mazzy said in unison, now knowing the truth.

"I thought you knew."

"No, Mom never told me."

"Sorry for the misunderstanding, Luna." Mazzy said sheepishly.

"It's fine, bruh."

"We can still make this a date if you want." Sam suggested. "I'll just have to keep my distance."

"Yeah, I'd like that."

"Well, it's getting late. I better get home now." Mazzy began to leave. "Enjoy the rest of your evening, ladies."

"Goodnight, dude." Luna said.

Then Mazzy remembers something. "Oh wait, Sam, you'll need these." She tosses Sam a mask and gloves.

Luna was now in bed and Sam came back to her with warm milk.

"Nice and comfy, Luna?"

"Tuck me, Sam." Sam does so. "Thank you, Sam."

"Here's your warm milk." Sam fed her some milk. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"One more thing. Luan would sometimes massage my feet before bed." Luna stuck out her foot and held out some lotion for Sam. "It relaxes me."

"Kinda gross." Sam frowned, then smiled. "But for you, sure."

Sam begins to massage her girlfriend's feet, much to Luna's content.