A/N: Hi hi! With work starting back up soon, chapters are going to be posted a little later than they were during the summer, but I'm still excited to share this fic with you all :)

Hailey winced as Jay helped her into the black pajama set he'd gotten her for their anniversary.

"Sorry, sorry," he murmured.

She shook her head and said, "It's f-fine! Ow!"

Jay froze where he was and asked, "What happened?"

Brooke, Hailey's current nurse, stepped over and put a hand on his arm. "Everyone take a breath."

Hailey blinked past the tears in her eyes and breathed, "It just tugged my side. I-I'm fine."

She woke up feeling just as bad as she had the day before. Everything ached. She didn't know why she was surprised; she'd had plenty of conversations with Jay over the years about how it was never going to be easy to bounce back after getting shot or having surgery. Yet she still couldn't believe how difficult it was to get comfortable in bed.

It didn't help that she felt like she had a deadline on getting back to normal. Everyone was coming to visit her for lunch, which was going to be at any moment. She'd accepted that she was going to just see her friends in her hospital gown, and that was fine, but Brooke had come in at the last minute to ask if she wanted to put Jay's gift on, and now they were practically rushing to get her feeling presentable again.

"If it's too uncomfortable, we don't have to do this," Brooke said, "We can put the gown back on and try again tomorrow after we get you in a shower."

Hailey shook her head. "No. I-I want this. I'll feel more normal if I'm in clothes. It's bad enough that I'm here and-and my hair's a mess; my friends don't need to see me like this." Gesturing toward herself, she felt her cheeks flare red. She may have been sitting in front of her husband and a nurse who had surely seen worse, but with only one arm of the pajama shirt on and the other hanging loose against her back, she was nowhere near feeling her best.

"Honey-"

"Jay."

Hailey closed her eyes and took a breath. Jay was as great as she'd expected him to be, but if she had to hear another Honey or Baby today after the dozen or so times she'd already heard it, she was going to explode.

"Okay, let's try this," Brooke gently began, nudging Jay to the side. In what felt like no time at all, she had Hailey in the pajama shirt and the IV was connected again. She hadn't been able to erase the pain, but it'd at least been fast enough that she couldn't completely register it until she was sitting back in bed.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

"I've done it plenty of times," Brooke assured. Picking up Hailey's brush from the side table, she asked, "Do you want me to-"

"I've got it," Jay interrupted. He stepped back over and grabbed the hairbrush. "Thanks, we appreciate your help."

"Jay," Hailey hissed.

Brooke smiled and shook her head in Hailey's direction. "Call me if you need anything. I'll send your friends in when they get here."

"Thank you," Hailey breathed as Jay got behind her.

She pursed her lips, watching Brooke leave. The second the door closed, she snapped, "You need to cool it."

"What are you talking about?" Jay asked. He smoothed his hand over her hair then set the brush on it.

"No, no, just…" Hailey sighed and tried reaching back, "Jay, stop. Stop, and come here."

"You've got a lot," he murmured to himself, "I…I don't want to hurt you, but-"

"Jay Halstead."

He stepped back enough to meet her eyes and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

She couldn't help but laugh at him. He was wonderful and so frustratingly clueless at the same time.

"What?" he repeated, slowly lowering himself to sit on the edge of her bed by her feet.

"You need to calm down," she said softly, "You-You're not…"

He was helping, so she couldn't say that he wasn't, but his version of helping was more like hovering, and it was driving her crazy. She struggled to find the words to say without hurting her husband because she knew she would not be where she was without him, even just today. He'd been the one who assured her as she woke up this morning that she was safe and taken care of and that he wasn't going anywhere. They were going to figure this all out together.

He just didn't need to be a helicopter parent and husband while doing so.

"I know you're nervous about everything and want to help," she began gently, reaching over to grab his hand, "But you need to slow down. I'm scared too, and the one person who's truly gotten me to calm down in the last twenty-four plus hours has been you. Today, you're…you're like at a ten, and I need you at a three."

A smile flickered over Jay's face, and he squeezed her fingers. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I…I honestly feel useless." He sighed and rubbed at his face before pulling a leg up onto the bed. "I don't know how to best help you. I love holding your hand when they take your blood or to remind you I'm here, but shouldn't I be the one helping you get changed and brushing your hair? The nurses shouldn't have to do all of that stuff, not when they're already doing so much."

Hailey shook her head. "But that's their job. Jay, we both know you would never be able to stick a needle in me, and you're smart, but you're not 'read an ultrasound, administer the correct dosage of an IV' smart. It's okay to back off."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I know that, but…"

Hailey stared at him then softened and pulled at his hand. She was in pain and on as much pain medicine as she'd allow - with Will's support and reminders that morning that the babies would be okay - but she was also rather aware of everything that was happening. If she thought back to when Jay was at Walter Reed, he hadn't exactly been himself for the first couple days she was there. It took him a while to truly wrap his head around everything that was happening. He probably didn't remember everything she did or didn't do for him.

Taking her hint, he dropped his foot back down to the ground and scooted closer to her. He kissed the back of her hand then smiled as best he could given the nerves still present in his eyes.

"You haven't had much practice being the spouse-of-a-patient," she gently teased, "So let me remind you of what I did when I was in your position about nine months ago."

Jay chuckled and murmured, "Oh boy."

"Uh-huh," she laughed. She squeezed his hand again and let out a breath before saying, "Let's see, I did try to help you get dressed like you just tried, but we had to admit defeat, remember? You ended up spending another day in the gown, and that was okay. I helped you walk whenever you needed to get up whether that was for the bathroom or just to stretch. I helped you when you showered, but only after a nurse taught me what to do. We ate together, and sometimes that meant I had to wipe your face or pull things closer for you. I got you comfortable in bed and snuck you snacks and watched movies with you. I had to learn what you needed compared to what you wanted and then weighed them to decide what I was going to ask the professionals about and how I could best support you."

She sighed at the memory of some of the hardest days of her life and rested her head back. They'd come a long way since Walter Reed, and remembering how bleak everything had seemed compared to where they ended up being - even if that was, yet again, another hospital room - put it all into perspective. They were going to survive this trip and come out stronger in the end.

They were going to have two extra sets of hands in the end, anyways.

"So maybe it wasn't paid help," she said quietly, "But I thought it was pretty important, and that's all I want from you."

"Of course it was important work, Hail," Jay breathed, "I could not have gotten out of that place without you. You're the reason I'm here." He hesitated at his words and then laughed when she smirked with him. "I mean here here, like alive and happy and-and here with you." Squeezing her hand again, he leaned over to kiss her forehead and murmur, "I just want to repay you for doing all that for me. I'm trying to figure out the balance. I'm sorry."

She closed her eyes and leaned into him. "I know. I do. I get it. I…maybe I'm also not used to being the patient."

Jay chuckled and ran his hand over the back of her hair. "We haven't been in this position before, and it's only been a day; we should give ourselves a break. We're gonna have another day or two to work at it."

Hailey hummed and sat back. Reaching up to brush her fingers along the stubble growing in on his cheek, she said, "Which is why you're going to have to take up our friends on their offer today and head home for a bit."

"Oh."

Jay pulled away and shook his head. Anxiety quickly rolled off of him, and Hailey tried fighting it by shaking her head as well.

"Yeah," she countered, "You need to go take a nap in our bed and shower and maybe even shave. Go check the mail and use our WiFi and watch something on that obnoxiously big TV you insisted we get."

Her attempt at humor didn't even crack a smile on Jay's face.

"That'll be really kind of them, obviously, but I'm not leaving you here."

"Hey, no." Hailey shook his hand and tilted her head to the side. "What was rule number three?"

Jay narrowed his eyes in thought, then finally let out a slight laugh and looked away from her. "Hailey."

"What was rule number three?" she repeated with a laugh, "Jay!"

"You had to sleep at the house," he answered with a chuckle, "I…I came up with it myself."

"Exactly," Hailey hummed, satisfied at his memory, "So, baby-"

"Here we go." He laughed harder and rubbed at his face before looking at her expectantly.

"You need to go home today," she said softly. But because something tugged at her heartstrings and the thought of being alone in the hospital room ignited a fear deep within her, she added, "At least for a few hours. I will make a Chicago exception to the rule that states you can sleep on that-that dad bed over there if you really do shower and relax at home while our friends keep watch here."

Jay softened and glanced back at the bed. "It is a dad bed, isn't it? Dads sleep there."

"And you're a dad," Hailey said. She rubbed a hand over his arm. "You're gonna be a real good one too."

"Even if I've been kind of screwing up the husband part?" Jay asked.

Hailey shook her head. "You haven't screwed anything up, especially not the husband part. You're just trying to figure it out and…" She sighed and leaned back against the bed. "And I am too. I don't love the idea of you putting your life on hold for me right now, so maybe I've been kind of a pain too."

"Never a pain," Jay said before pressing a long kiss to her forehead. As he straightened up, he added, "But you really are going to have to get better at this patient thing. It's not ending anytime soon."

Hailey laughed at that and rubbed her hands over her face. "Yeah, this is certainly a huge downside to pregnancy. I want to protect these babies, I swear to you, but all the prodding and appointments really isn't my thing. It's gonna be a tough nine months."

Jay hummed and gently poked her side. "Seven," he corrected with a small smirk.

Hailey knew it was meant to be a light joke to soften her nerves, but instead it just reignited the flood of guilt she'd felt the day before. She missed out on two months of pregnancy because of her own stupidity, and she needed to live with that for the rest of her life.

Sighing, she nodded and quietly repeated, "Seven months."

Jay's shoulders fell, and he murmured, "Hailey, that's not what I meant."

"I know," she assured, "Just something I need to get better at accepting. I feel bad." She set a hand on her stomach and lightly rubbed over the babies she was excited to one day feel.

Jay tangled his hand with hers and shook his head. "Don't. You've got them now, and you'll do everything you can to keep them safe going forward; I'm confident in that. And, one day, if they ever find out how surprised we were - are - I will make sure they know that surprise came because their mom was such an amazing detective that she didn't realize she had two other amazing kids in her belly."

Hailey let out a watery laugh and nodded. "I like when you…I like when you talk like that."

Jay smiled and asked, "Talk like what?"

"Like…like how a dad should talk," Hailey explained, "I didn't get that a lot when I was younger, and it just makes me more excited for everything to come: our kids are going to have a great dad who loves and protects them, not one who scares them."

Jay's lips tipped down slightly in understanding before he slowly nodded. As his thumb rubbed over her stomach, he murmured, "And you're going to be an incredible mom, Hail. You told me once that your parents loved you between all the…well, between all the abuse. I've known since then that you were going to take the good parts of what they gave you and make them even better for our future kids. You know what not to do and how to listen and give unconditional support and love, and I can't wait to see that extend to our babies."

She blinked against the tears in her eyes and nodded. She needed to believe him because that's all she had hoped for herself as she'd welcomed the idea of kids with Jay years before.

Hugs instead of rolling eyes.

Listening instead of jumping to conclusions.

Figuring problems out instead of placing blame.

Kisses goodnight instead of black eyes.

She wanted her children to have everything she never received. There were good parts of her childhood that she wanted to pass on, but they were less from her father and more from her uncle - like the way he made her laugh after a long day or snuck her a piece of chocolate if he caught her crying. Her dad did teach her how to run a business and what dedication to a job looked like, yet he also taught her through those actions that work shouldn't be everything.

The way she was sitting in the hospital right now was a harsh reminder of that.

Even with Jay at her side and his new work uniform in the duffle bag a few feet away.

They were growing as people and as detectives. It was okay to take a step back from the stress of work when there were much happier things in view - like two little babies she couldn't wait to meet.

"Come here," Jay murmured, pulling her against his chest. He kissed the top of her head and whispered, "We've got this, Hailey Halstead."

She laughed and gripped his shirt. "Yeah," she murmured, "We do."

Closing her eyes, she sank into the hug only for it to be cut short by a knock on the door. As she sat up, she caught sight of Makayla looking through the window, waving at her with two balloons in hand.

She laughed and wiped her eyes before waving her in.

The door burst open, and Makayla hurried inside with Kim, Adam, Kevin, and Trudy right behind her.

"The whole crew," Jay laughed.

"Torres had an appointment with his mom," Kevin explained.

"And Voight said he'll stop by later," Trudy added, "But-"

"What about Jo?" Hailey asked, opening her arms for Makayla's incoming hug.

"Uh, let's talk about that one later," Kim said softly. She nodded at Makayla and reminded her, "Be gentle."

Hailey raised an eyebrow, but still welcomed Makayla into her side. She met Trudy's gaze who simply nodded before leaning into Makayla. "Hi, you," she whispered, "Thank you for coming to see me."

"You're welcome," Makayla said, "Are you hurt bad?"

"Uh." Hailey weakly laughed and sat up. "Yeah, I kind of am, but I'm feeling so much better today, especially since you all came here."

Makayla smiled wide and looked back at Kim. "I told you."

Kim laughed. "You did."

Jay chuckled and nodded toward the balloons. "Are those for Aunt Hailey?"

"This one is," Makayla said as she passed over the sunflower themed 'Get Well Soon!' balloon. She then walked around the bed toward Jay and held out the plain blue one. "This is for you. Mom was pretty sad when Dad was in the hospital, so I thought maybe you were sad too. You like balloons."

Jay smiled and bypassed her hand to squeeze her tightly to him. "I do," he said quietly, "Thank you."

Hailey bit her lip over a smile and rested her head back. There was absolutely no doubt in her mind that Jay was going to be an amazing dad, and how he treated Makayla was the perfect example of that.

She accepted the gentle hugs and whispered 'Glad you're okay's from her friends and watched as they all settled around the room. Makayla grabbed her bag from Adam and declared she was going to decorate the room for Hailey's stay, leaving her distracted enough that Hailey felt okay asking quiet questions about what had happened in the last two days.

"We really don't have to do this right now," Kevin said.

"Don't you have enough things to worry about?" Adam asked.

Hailey rolled her eyes. "I'd like the distraction."

Trudy nodded and cleared her throat before saying, "We can start with that lead ended up going nowhere."

Everyone's heads snapped to her, almost as if in shock that she'd shared the information.

"What?" Hailey asked.

"A lot of signs pointed to him like Voight thought, but he ended up having an alibi for Noah's kidnapping," Trudy continued.

Hailey's eyes flickered to Kevin who was looking straight at her. "Are you okay?" she asked quietly.

Shooting anyone was never a positive thing for their job, but shooting someone who didn't fit the bill for what they were being accused of made it all worse. She didn't want to think of what he'd been feeling since that information had been revealed.

He pursed his lips and nodded. "He hurt you. He could have-" He trailed off and glanced at Makayla then lowered his voice and said, "He could have taken you from us. Maybe he wasn't who we were looking for, but that doesn't make what he did okay."

"And don't forget," Adam said quietly, "He was traced to a different…attack last month and had just avoided getting caught. He was not innocent of all charges."

Hailey shook her head and ran a hand over her hair. "Still."

"No, not still," Jay hissed, "Hailey, he-"

"I know," she snapped, "I know what he did."

"Jay, when would you like to take a break?" Trudy interrupted quickly.

Hailey turned toward her and bit her lip, trying to hide a smile from Trudy's quick wink.

"I…I'll go when some of them leave," Jay sighed, "Are you willing to stay with her while I'm gone?"

"Of course," Trudy replied, "I have some things to talk to Hailey about anyways."

Hailey raised an eyebrow, but Trudy just waved her off and whispered, "Later."

"I guess that leaves Jo," Kim began.

Hailey sat up more and nodded. "What happened?"

"Admitted herself to rehab," Kim replied, "She told Voight while we were all in the waiting room for you."

"I couldn't believe it," Adam said, "She told him she needed to get some help for drinking and asked if he could get her a ride. I took her back to her place and waited in the car for her to grab a bag before taking her."

"That…wow," Hailey breathed.

She wasn't sure if she really anticipated Jo to admit herself to rehab after their conversation that felt like ages ago. All she wanted was for her to take a step back and understand the dangers of what she was doing. Maybe committing herself to desk duty and seeking help from a therapist or professional, but not actually entering a program.

It had to have been worse than she actually thought.

Jay's hand ghosted over her upper back. He clearly was thinking that she'd done the right thing in talking to Jo when she did.

"I'm not sure if you know," Jay said, "But did she happen to be…using that morning?"

"Not at all," Trudy answered, "She had no play in what had happened."

Jay nodded and murmured, "Good."

"I don't know if Torres and I can say the same," Kevin said quietly, "Hailey, I am-"

"Whoa, what?" she said, sitting up slightly, "Kevin, you did not-"

"We should have gotten things under control before you pulled up," he interrupted, "If we had-"

"One of you could have gotten hurt," Hailey argued, "He was willing to run from the police; it wasn't going to be easy."

"But it shouldn't have involved blood," Kevin shot back, "He never should have gotten close enough to you to hurt you." He let out a breath and looked toward Jay. "I am so sorry."

Jay shook his head and said, "Man, you can't carry this."

"You could have lost your wife because-"

"Because some crazy fugitive out for blood went after her," Jay finished, "Not because of anything you did or didn't do. This isn't on you." He leaned around Hailey to get a look at her eyes and said, "And it's not on you either. Got it?"

It was all connected to their earlier conversation: her lack of knowledge regarding her pregnancy and then getting shot was not something she needed to keep carrying in guilt. Things had played out how they had, and now they needed to live with it all the best they could.

"I should have fixed my vest before getting out of my car," she said quietly.

He shook his head. "It still would have gotten you."

"You two can't do this," Kim said, interrupting everyone, "The 'what if's aren't going to help. What's important is how we all move forward."

Hailey breathed in slowly and nodded. "I agree. I…the only person we can place fault on isn't even here, so there's no reason to talk about it anymore."

Jay made a quiet noise beside her, causing her to look up at his face. While she'd meant the blame was to be placed on the man who'd shot her, she had a feeling he wanted to place some of the blame on Voight himself.

Placing her hand on his thigh, she shook her head slightly and tried getting him to see what she did: Voight made a call based upon the information he had. He could not have predicted what would go down at the scene, and it was not his fault that she'd gotten hurt.

Unfortunately, she could see the connections Jay was making and thought back to when he'd talked to her about the decision to leave the unit the year before. Voight had been at the root of that problem as well. He certainly had more to do with that than he did with this, but the nexus was still there.

The full-circle pieces of this entire situation were not lost on her as she processed it all.

"Anyone see anything good on Netflix recently?" Adam asked. When everyone looked at him with amusement, he chuckled and said, "Figured we have to change the conversation before we get too depressed."

"You're such an idiot," Jay chuckled.

"I like it," Hailey said, "I'm guessing I'm off for a bit-"

"Guessing?" Trudy asked, "Oh, you are certainly going to be off for a bit."

Hailey managed a laugh and waved her off. She was well-aware that she was not going to be allowed back in the field upon revealing she was pregnant, but she was at least hoping for desk duty as long as they'd have her. When Kim was pregnant, she'd been sent to work dispatch, though they hadn't been involved in a long drawn case at that point. She might still have a chance to work in Intelligence if she made her argument well.

But with her current view being a hospital room and another scheduled ultrasound the following day to check the twins, she knew even that argument was a long way out. For now, she could focus on Netflix and accepting meals from her friends and scheduled phone calls to come.

If she wanted to believe that there were more important things than work, then she needed to really put herself into that starting right now.

It took more persuading than Hailey would have liked, but Jay eventually did leave with Kevin, Kim, Adam, and Makayla close to two hours later. He promised to be back for dinner with whatever food she was craving. As the words left his lips, she could have sworn she caught a knowing smile on Adam's face, but then Kevin pushed him out of the room and she was left thinking she'd imagined it all.

Trudy shook her head once the door closed and moved over to sit in the recliner Kevin had abandoned. "All right, there's no kids, no other officers, and no husband worrying about you; how are you really feeling?"

Hailey laughed slightly. "I'm okay, thank you."

But Trudy wasn't taking that for an answer and simply stared at her.

Beneath the pressure, Hailey felt something stir in her gut. Months before, she'd called Trudy for help because Jay was at Walter Reed and she needed to get to him. She'd then shown up, gotten her dressed, packed, and on a plane, and supported her through the entire thing. She'd done what a mother should have done.

The day before, she'd found out she was pregnant with twins. That surely would have warranted a phone call home to her mom had the two of them had a better relationship. Right now, the only people who knew were Jay, the doctors and nurses who'd been taking care of her, and Will. She was only eight weeks along, but that still seemed like a rather small circle.

It was Trudy after all.

"I'm as good as I can be," she said softly, "I'm still trying to wrap my head around all of this."

"And what is this?" Trudy asked.

Hailey took a deep breath, and her hand twitched on her blanket toward her stomach. "Well, getting shot," she began, "And being here and balancing taking care of myself while trying to do as Jay asks."

Trudy laughed at that and shook her head. "He was certainly a bit more…protective today."

Hailey smiled and nodded. "We talked about it this morning. He's going to try to be a bit more relaxed and I'm going to be a better patient."

"What a pair," Trudy teased.

"Yeah," Hailey said through a laugh. She quieted down and bit her lip, brushing her fingers through her still tangled hair as she debated her next words. "Um, he…he does have reason for it," she said quietly, "It turns out…um…"

Trudy watched her struggle to admit aloud what she'd been working at accepting for over twenty-four hours before scooting to the edge of the chair to show she was listening.

Hailey had a feeling she knew what she was about to say, but she knew there was an importance in her saying it herself, so she took a deep breath and finally said, "I'm pregnant…with twins."

For one second, Trudy just nodded in understanding, but then her eyes did widen in the shock Hailey had partly expected to see.

"Twins?" she repeated.

Hailey nodded and moved her hand to her stomach. "Fraternal. I had an ultrasound yesterday. Hannah Asher - have you met her? She's the OB that does a lot of work in the ED. Anyway, she, um, she's been running tests and helping me out; she said there's two placentas and that everything seems to be going well so far."

"That is…wow, Hailey," Trudy said softly, "I knew you were pregnant, but I had no idea it was with twins."

"You knew?" Hailey asked, her own eyes mirroring the shock that had been in Trudy's expression.

"Hailey," Trudy scoffed, "You're in the maternity ward. It doesn't take a genius to figure it out. Adam was actually the first to say something when we all gathered for the elevator earlier. The rest of us were just silent about it."

"Oh, right," Hailey breathed. She chewed her lip and shrugged slightly. "It's, um, well, kind of a lot to swallow."

"I would imagine so," Trudy replied, "Twins…that's…"

"Twice the cuddles," Hailey tried with a small smile, "That's what Jay and I have tried focusing on. Seems easier than thinking of double the diapers or-or the way my body's going to fit them inside it."

Trudy laughed softly. "You're right about that. Good for you two to think about all the good things you're going to experience."

Hailey nodded and took a deep breath. "I still…I can't just ignore all the other stuff, though - like…if I'll be a good mom or how it's going to affect Jay or even just how we'll balance our lives with the babies' and work. It's a lot."

Jay could tell her ten times a day that he was confident she'd be an amazing mother, but it would never erase her real fears of it. It took her years before she felt like a great detective, and she'd worked under several other great cops to get to that point. She wasn't going to have that kind of time to find her footing in parenting. She didn't even have great parents of her own to look up to.

On the other hand, she knew Jay was meant to be a dad - a great one at that. He was kind and gentle and fun, and kids loved him. What he was also meant to be, though, was a solider and a cop, and that brought on more PTSD than he deserved. She couldn't lie and say she wasn't worried about how having kids was going to affect that. Even if he continued living his life as he was, there were still going to be times where nightmares struck or triggers popped up. She didn't want him to have to worry about taking care of kids while he was struggling himself.

Which led to their jobs. She loved being a detective and working in Intelligence. The unknown excited her, and she didn't know if she'd ever find something as rewarding as helping others in a job. She could not give that up.

While Jay's job was maybe more accommodating for having a family, it was still important. She didn't want him to sacrifice who he was either just because they had two mouths to feed. There had to have been some way for them both to do as they dreamed of while also providing a happy home for their kids.

Kids that were going to be their own people with their own wants and dislikes and fears and needs.

Two of them.

Born moments apart.

Hailey's chest squeezed tightly, and she closed her eyes with a groan.

Two babies that would turn into two toddlers that would become two tiny people that went off to school and jobs and Chicago without their parents.

She was going to have to trust that the world she tried so hard to keep safe would be kind to the two biggest pieces of her heart.

"How-How am I supposed to raise two babies and prepare them for the world?" she mumbled, "How are we going to protect them and care for them while also caring for each other?"

"Hey, hey, hey," Trudy said softly, "Hailey, take a breath."

She shook her head and tipped her head back against the bed. "Two babies. In this world. That I still want to work for."

Everything was spinning again, and she wished there was some sort of medicine she could take to make it stop, but then she remembered why everything was spinning and that there were two babies sitting inside her right now, and she didn't want a single drop of medicine that could potentially hurt them to even touch her system.

Her life had become a complete Catch-22, and she didn't know what to do.

Trudy's hand slipped inside hers and squeezed gently. She wasn't Jay, but perhaps that was what was necessary right now. Had Jay been there, Hailey didn't know if she'd be able to fully feel all the emotions she was experiencing right now. She'd be too worried about how he'd feel or react to seeing her in such a state that she wouldn't let herself really feel all the fear that'd been stirring inside her.

She truly did need a break from Jay like everyone teased.

"What we're not going to do is worry about things we can't control just yet."

Trudy's quiet voice was gentle, and Hailey tried focusing on it as she struggled to get air into her lungs.

"All you can do today and for the rest of this week is focus on getting better. You cannot let the future prevent you from healing."

"H-How?"

Trudy laughed softly and brushed her thumb over the back of Hailey's hand, causing her to open her eyes and look at her.

"How?" Trudy repeated, "Hailey, you rest. You take the medicine and listen to the doctors."

"But-"

"No 'but's. This is what your life is going to look like for the time being. It's not your fault, but it's the hand you were dealt, so here we are."

Hailey felt more hot tears flow down her cheeks. "It's not-not like I don't want to be pregnant. I'm just…"

Scared.

Nervous.

Confused.

"I know," Trudy said, not bothering to wait for a real answer, "And the fact that you are tells me you're going to be a great mom. You're worrying about the big stuff that matters. You haven't even mentioned what's gonna happen to your feet."

Hailey let out a watery laugh and used her free hand to wipe at her face. "I'm not too worried about the state of my feet; I'm more worried about what I'm going to be doing with those feet."

Trudy raised an eyebrow and said, "You're going to have to walk me through that one."

Hailey laughed again and shrugged. "I'm just saying, what's going to happen to my job? How am I going to be a detective while creating and then taking care of two tiny humans?"

"Oh, Hailey," Trudy said, dropping her hand and sitting back in her seat, "We will figure that out once you're out of this place."

But Hailey shook her head and wiped at her face again. "I need to figure it out now. I-I want to leave here knowing that I have my life under control."

Trudy studied her for a moment, but Hailey didn't let it go. She knew that this one piece of the puzzle was going to be what could ease her heart for the time being. She'd figure out how to be a mom and how to help Jay with any lingering PTSD in the coming months. Work needed to be figured out right now.

"I'm not leaving Intelligence in the middle of a serial killer case," she stated.

"I wouldn't expect you to," Trudy replied.

"But I also don't think I can go out into the field while pregnant. I can't…I can't lose the babies."

When she'd found Kim during her miscarriage because she couldn't help but jump into a case, bringing an onslaught of pain upon her, she'd been haunted for months. The crying. The screaming. The water on the floor. The look on Adam's face when he found them.

Jay had taken her out for a beer that night to try and get her mind off of it, but she'd been able to see the dried tears in the corners of his own eyes. Their beers went untouched, and, instead, they chose to walk around the city in the dark to process what had happened to their friends. In the silence that existed in Jay's truck as he drove her back to her apartment, she'd vowed that she would never willingly put herself into that situation if she were to ever get pregnant.

And now, with Jay being the father of her babies and him being the person she loved the most in the world, she knew she was going to have to stick to that vow. She refused to put him in the same pain or situation Kim and Adam had been in. It was bad enough that she'd been unknowingly pregnant while working, leading her to getting shot and endangering the lives of her children. She could not do it on purpose.

"You realize people ride the desk all the time?" Trudy said, "Hailey, right now, I have two other pregnant women working beneath me on a desk - one at dispatch and the other got sent to the Civil Rights Unit. I also have a male detective working the desk in Missing Persons because he just had a hip replacement. For God's sake, your husband technically works a desk job. You are not and will not be the last person this happens to, and it does not mean your career is over. When I said we'll figure it out, I truly meant we will figure it out - maybe even that I will figure it out. You need to trust me on this."

Hailey blushed and looked down at her hands. She was right: Jay did technically work a desk job because of what had happened to him. If Jay could do it after all he'd done for the department and in his life, then surely she could too.

"I was a little worried that you'd send me to dispatch," she said quietly.

Trudy scoffed. "I'm insulted."

Hailey's head shot up. "You did it to Kim!"

"Because she asked," Trudy sighed, "She wanted to try it out, and her morning sickness was so bad, she didn't think she'd be able to stand it around all of you. I offered her a desk job in Intelligence - just like the boys had when they were recovering from being shot - just like I'd offer to you."

"You would?"

"Are you listening to me right now?"

A ghost of a smile crossed Hailey's face, and she nodded slightly.

"Then you know what I'm telling you," Trudy said, "Yes, you can stay working in Intelligence, but you will be keeping your ass in a seat for the next…how far along are you?"

Hailey winced. "Eight weeks."

Trudy's eyes widened again, but she had to have caught on to Hailey's own expression upon her admission because she quickly moved on: "Seven months. You will be at a desk for the next seven months, or however long you need to be - be that starting in a few weeks and ending a bit early or whatever you need. You are smart and a great detective; we all want to work with you and help you out. You're not alone."

Hailey blinked quickly against the remaining tears in her eyes and nodded. "Okay," she whispered.

"And I am begging you, Hailey, to leave it at that," Trudy continued, "Let's get through the rest of this pregnancy before we even start to worry about you returning to work after the babies are born."

She bit her lip and quietly asked, "Could we come up with a plan for it?"

Trudy raised an eyebrow. "You were just shot and are pregnant with twins. We are not coming up with a plan for a year from now."

Hailey sank back into the bed, her cheeks burning pink. "Less than a year," she quietly corrected, "There's seven months of being pregnant and then six weeks of maternity leave, right? So maybe more like nine months."

"We are not coming up with a plan," Trudy repeated, "There are a lot of things that can change between now and your full return to Intelligence. That's too long. We need to go day-by-day right now, remember? Didn't we talk about this when Jay was in the hospital?"

Hailey nodded and specifically remembered those little goals she'd helped Jay with at Walter Reed: walking down the hall, getting dressed, weaning off pain medicine. The point was to focus on the now rather than the future.

"Hailey, it's your turn to let others help you," Trudy said gently, "You have been amazing support for Jay since he came home; I know he wants to repay it to you."

Hailey couldn't help but scoff slightly before letting out a soft laugh. "Yeah, he kind of hovers."

"Because he cares about you," Trudy said, "And there's nothing wrong with that."

"He's insisting on brushing my hair," Hailey sighed.

"As he should," Trudy said with a nod, "It's kind of a mess right now."

Hailey laughed again and ran her hand over the back of her hair. "It hurts to lift my arm to do it."

"Then let him help you," Trudy insisted, leaning forward as she held Hailey's gaze, "You have a good man in your corner; do not push him away because you're scared and stubborn."

Scared and stubborn.

Hailey wet her lips and nodded.

She guessed, at the root of it all, those two words represented her perfectly right now. She was certainly scared of what was to come, but she was also too stubborn to admit it or the fact that she was going to need more help than she perhaps ever needed before.

Just like she knew Jay had been months before.

They really were a match made in Heaven.

"Maybe I deserve this," she said with a soft laugh, "I insisted Jay accept help and not be so proud while he was recovering. I need to take my own advice."

"Like I said, you're a smart detective," Trudy said, "You should listen to yourself."

Hailey laughed harder and let out a long breath. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Trudy replied. "Now, what do we need to do? Have you called your family at all? Should I do that for you?"

"No," Hailey sighed, "I'll wait for Jay; I want him here when I talk to my brother."

"That's fine," Trudy said, "So what can I do for you?"

Hailey watched her for a moment then glanced around the room. She didn't need to go to the bathroom, and she was comfortable in bed. Her phone was charged and she didn't feel like watching TV or a movie on her laptop.

"Distract me?" she settled on, turning back toward her, "Tell me about Randall or some drama at the fire house that he's told you or even about some new kid on patrol. Just help me stay calm as I wait for Jay to come back?"

Trudy laughed softly to herself then sat up in her seat. "Then have I got a story to tell you."

Hailey laughed with her and settled in to listen. She could use a smile just as much as she could use the distraction.

The next seven months weren't going to be easy, but if she focused on just the next couple of hours, then maybe it would feel a bit more manageable.

Especially if she really did lean in to all the help that was being thrown her way.

Jay returned back to the hospital room exactly three hours after he'd left. Trudy was still there, and Dante had joined her just moments before. Voight had even stopped by an hour before to check-in. Hailey certainly didn't feel lonely in the least, but there was something calming about having Jay back by her side.

He'd clearly showered and taken some version of a nap. As he hugged her and greeted her with a kiss, she could tell he had shaved and smelt the coffee on his fresh shirt. He seemed much calmer than he had when he'd left, despite the way he still apologized for being gone.

She would have loved if they could just sit in silence upon Trudy and Dante's departure, but she knew Theo deserved to hear what had happened from her - especially since everyone seemed to know she was pregnant already: Dante's whispered, "Congratulations," to Jay wasn't lost on her as he'd left the room. There was a very slim chance anyone would tell her brother about what had happened, but she still didn't want to risk it.

A smile actually flickered across her face as she said the words aloud to Theo through FaceTime. Jay even chuckled when she let it slip that there were going to be two new mouths to feed in seven months. It all seemed to be the exact type of reaction someone should have upon hearing their older sister was pregnant for the first time and that she was going to have two babies instead of just one.

"Twins?" Theo repeated through a laugh, his hand coming up to run through his sandy hair, "Holy crap, hay bail!"

"I know," she laughed softly, looking up at Jay, "We can't believe it either."

"This is great," Theo continued, "Can I tell Katie, or do you want to do that?"

"You can tell her," Hailey said, "I don't mind."

"But we haven't officially told our friends yet," Jay cut in, "They know she's pregnant, but they don't know that it's twins. So if you happen to see them-"

"Dude, I promise you, I won't get arrested and run into your friends and spoil your surprise," Theo chuckled.

Jay smiled and kissed the top of Hailey's head. "Thanks, man."

She leaned further into Jay's side and let a bit of that seriousness sink into her as she debated her next words. She didn't want to completely overstep and come off as rude, but she needed to set boundaries and protect her kids from the very beginning of their lives.

"Theo, can I ask that you don't tell Mom and Dad though?" she asked softly, "Even Nik. I…I'll tell them eventually, but I don't want to do it now."

Theo quickly nodded. "Of course. This is your thing, you don't have to worry about me telling them. But if you need me there when you do or want my help, just send me a word and I'll be there."

"Thank you," she breathed, "I appreciate it."

She had no timeline or intention of telling her parents anytime soon about their future grandchildren, but she knew it was going to have to happen at some point. Her relationship with her mother was rocky at best, and she did not want to even picture her father around two babies when she knew he was still struggling with his drinking. They were still her parents, though, and they should get to know about their expanding family. She just needed to decide when and where she wanted that to happen.

It was one of the future plans that Trudy was talking about. She didn't need to worry about it now, not when there were more important things to think about.

Theo nodded and leaned back into his couch at her words. "Not a problem at all. I get it. They can be a piece of work, but you know that."

Hailey weakly laughed and looked down at her hands. "I do."

And it was exactly why she didn't plan on her parents having large - or any - roles in their grandchildren's lives.

"However," Theo continued, "I would like to say that Uncle DJ would be over the moon about this."

Tears formed in Hailey's eyes, and she looked up at him with a smile. "I know," she said softly, "He'd be so happy for me - for us."

Jay squeezed her against him and whispered, "So would my parents. We have so many people watching over us that love our babies so much."

"And you have a lot of people down here that feel the same way," Theo said, "You two are not alone in this. I'm going to spoil the crap out of those kids."

Hailey laughed and wiped at her eyes. "They really are lucky."

"We are," Jay gently corrected so softly that she didn't think Theo had the chance to even hear through the phone.

It was okay if he missed it, though, because Hailey was fine having this one moment with Jay. They really were lucky in so many aspects of their lives.

Jay had survived another car explosion.

They were happily married against all odds.

Neither of them was in FBI custody.

They had fulfilling jobs.

Their friends and brothers were some of the most supportive people they knew.

She had been shot and survived.

Their twins were healthy and safe.

And even if she didn't have a complete plan for every single day for the next nine months to a year, she had hope that it would all turn out okay.

Because she had Jay.

Which was exactly what she'd known would happen to her upon asking him to marry her years before.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think? :)