Chapter 13
Resolutions
Buffy and Willow stood side by side on the couch. Silence had fallen shortly after the young witch had told the Slayer her full discovery with the blond vampire. After the shock and the resulting emotions, Buffy had felt relieved to have shared her confusion with her best friend. Traces of dried tears were still visible on her cheeks and she was trying to regain her senses. Beside her, Willow bit her lips. Although she had decided not to judge Buffy for her possible feelings, the witch couldn't help but think that this relationship seemed doomed to failure. Yet these feelings clearly affected her and it was essential that the Slayer was in her best mental and physical condition. The magnitude of the task that probably awaited her didn't allow her to get lost in confusion.
"I feel so tired, Will…" The Slayer murmured suddenly, "I don't understand what's happening to me…"
"What do you mean?" Her friend asked, turning towards her. Buffy took a few moments to try to organize her thoughts. The fact that Willow had not betrayed her relieved her so much that she felt ready to share her anxieties of the last days. "I think… I think I don't control my life anymore," she whispered as her friend frowned, "I don't know what to do to fight this new threat; I feel so helpless…"
"Buffy, we're gonna find information. The fact that the necklace is-
"No." The Slayer interrupted her, shaking her head, "I know you'll find information. It's me," she insisted, turning to the young witch. "There's something… wrong. I… When I discovered this ritual, I wasn't surprised by the demon," she continued, "I suddenly felt breathless and… I fled. I didn't think and I ran into this demon. I couldn't even fight… If Angel hadn't been here…"
Buffy looked down as her friend grabbed her hand. "Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry… Probably the ritual affected you in some way…" The witch didn't finish her sentence when her friend shook her head again. "This afternoon… when I went out, it happened again. Right after a fight."
"I can do some research, maybe the demons cast a spell or…"
"It's not just that," the Slayer continued, her eyes still down, "I lost my reflexes and I feel… empty. It's like I'm not the Slayer anymore, Will…"
"Don't say that. You're the Slayer no matter what!"
Buffy finally raised her head and met her friend's concerned gaze. "I don't know. I don't really want it anymore, to be honest," she whispered.
"No, Buffy, you're just having a hard time and… tonight's events make you feel vulnerable but you'll see that everything will be better soon!" The witch affirmed.
"I'd like to believe you but… why do I feel so alone?" Buffy noted bitterly as new tears rolled down her cheeks, "Will, why can't I be happy?"
Willow looked at the one who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders. Her eyes seemed to want to express what she herself could not say. At that moment, they were the mirror of her incomprehension. Buffy seemed desperate to find a rational response to everything that was happening in her life as a Slayer and even as a woman. In response, her friend hugged her.
"You're not alone, Buffy," she whispered softly. "Everything's gonna be alright, I promise. We'll find a solution… Giles will find this book and with the new information on the necklace, we'll see things more clearly. Everyone is here for you, Buffy. You are not alone…"
The Slayer broke away from her friend. She strangely felt a little better to have been able to put a few words on her pain but her loneliness and anguish had not completely faded.
"You should go upstairs and rest; you look exhausted," Willow remarked.
Buffy nodded and stood up. The two friends headed upstairs and the witch accompanied her to her room. "We need to get everyone together tomorrow," the Slayer said as she entered her room. "We need to tell them what you discovered."
"I'll take care of it but, Buffy…"
The Slayer slowly turned towards her, knowing the subject that her friend wanted to discuss given her nervousness. Willow was wringing her hands in an attempt to find the words that would make her best friend smile again.
"You know, about Spike… I'm sorry I didn't figure out what you… Well, I should have told you since you…"
"Don't." The young woman interrupted her gently, "I… I don't know what I feel about him, it's just that… I feel something," she admitted, looking at her hands.
"I'm sure he'll come and help us," Willow clarified in an attempt to soothe her best friend. "I'm sure he hasn't forgotten you either."
"It doesn't really matter," she replied, trying to regain her composure. "The only thing that matters is figuring out what's happening and how to stop it."
"But Buffy, maybe that's one of the reasons you-
"Will, please," the Slayer interrupted her, her eyes brimming with tears again, "I don't wanna… I can't think about that right now. I'm meant to fulfill a role. I don't have time to waste on states of mind that maybe aren't states of mind."
With these words, Buffy headed towards her bed and ended the conversation.
The next morning, Willow left a message for each of the Scoobies as well as Angel asking them to come to Buffy's house that same evening. She then headed to the kitchen where she found Giles taking notes.
"Hello, Giles. Did you sleep well?"
"Oh, hello, Willow. Well, actually, I only slept a few hours but those were hours I didn't get last night so yes, I think I slept well."
"Did you find anything on the necklace with Angel?"
"We performed a spell on the envelope that contained the necklace. We thought we could trace its origins but we got nothing out of it… Jiang-Mai also informed me that Dawn's book is probably only available in China. As you can see, it's not much progress." He sighed, taking off his glasses for a few moments before running a hand over his tired face.
"It's better than nothing," the witch replied while giving him a small smile of encouragement. "I came to tell you that I asked everyone to come here this evening to exchange information."
"All right. Tell me, have you seen Buffy?"
"I saw her last night and she was… tired," Willow quickly explained, not wanting to go into detail about the events of the previous night. "She went up to bed and I haven't seen her since. I guess she's gone to work."
"Certainly," the watcher replied, putting his glasses back on. "I'll continue research to locate the book of the Balance of Forces as precisely as possible."
"Okay. I'm gonna… Uh, I have something to do outside and I'll run some errands before I come back. The food stocks are almost gone," she noticed.
Willow quickly got ready and headed towards Spike's crypt. She absolutely needed to find a way to get him to attend the meeting planned for the evening. Buffy knew what was happening so Willow no longer had any reason to hide and that greatly relieved her. The witch had always hated lying to her friends and she also knew she wasn't good at it. Willow felt uneasy again when she thought of the important thing she hadn't dared to talk about with Buffy. She was now sure that Spike was connected to the First thanks to yesterday's spell. She had started translating the bonds between the vampire and the First, and what she understood worried her…
She had to find a way to get Spike to say it to Buffy. The witch didn't want to risk another misunderstanding about the vampire with her best friend, especially on such a sensitive subject. Of course, her friends were going to be mad at her for hiding such information for so long and Willow could easily imagine Xander's horrified reaction when he found out. Too bad, she thought as she knocked on the heavy door. They needed everything that might be useful and Spike could be a great help.
"Spike?" The young woman pushed the door and entered the vampire's crypt. She glanced at her watch and figured Spike must be sleeping. "Spike, you there?"
"What are you doing here?" The witch jumped and turned around. Spike stood in front of her, clearly surprised by her presence. "Something happened?" He asked, putting on a shirt.
"No, no. Well, yes. Buffy knows," Willow admitted. The vampire paused for a few seconds then shook his head, as if aware that this situation could not last forever. "Spike, you need to come tonight," Willow continued calmly. "Everyone will be here to exchange information."
He sighed and grabbed his pack of cigarettes. "You can tell them what we discovered without me," he said after lighting one.
"But that doesn't make any sense!" Willow pointed out. "You can help!"
"We've been through this and our agreement was clear."
"Look, I'm sorry." The young woman apologized, feeling remorse overtaking her, "Buffy followed me and she saw us… I couldn't deny!"
"You said it yourself; I'm connected to the First. We don't know if it'll try to regain control over me and I can't risk that!" The vampire pointed out with annoyance.
"We can help you," Willow countered. "We did last time!"
Spike sighed heavily and Willow took the opportunity to put forward her best argument in this game of chess. "I haven't said anything to Buffy yet, but she needs to have all the pieces to fight this new threat. We need to be together. We don't have time to play games. Something serious is going on. You have to tell her; she has the right to know," she said calmly.
Spike watched her carefully for a few seconds before opening the door wide for the witch. Willow resigned herself and headed towards the exit. As she crossed the threshold, he called out to her.
"I'll come by if I got something new."
After getting up and getting ready quietly so as not to wake Giles and Willow, Buffy had stopped in the small café which had become a place for breakfast but also for reflection for several days. She felt calm enough to be able to think here. At the same time, this place inspired her confidence and the fact that her friends didn't know it shamefully offered her a place where she could take a step back from everything around her. As she sipped her cappuccino, the Slayer relaxed and finally allowed herself to think back to her conversation with her best friend the day before. She hadn't done so until now for fear of delving deeper into what she really felt.
Buffy shook her head. She couldn't let her emotions take control. She simply didn't have the time or the right to do so. Many people were counting on her. All of humanity maybe…
"Buffy! I didn't know you were coming here!" Surprised, the young woman looked up at the voice she seemed to know and met Jack's laughing blue eyes. "Oh, hi. I discovered this place a few days ago and I really like it," she told him with a smile.
"I come from time to time to sit for a few minutes before class when I have a long day ahead," the young man admitted in turn. "Can I sit or are you waiting for someone?"
"I don't, you can sit!" Buffy offered him.
"It seemed like you were deep in thought and I pulled you out of it!" Jack apologized, sitting down opposite her. The Slayer looked down before smiling. "It's nothing," she said, "I'm a little… preoccupied right now, that's all."
"Is this about your friend you saw a few days ago?"
"What?" Buffy stammered while awkwardly putting her cup down on the table.
"You needed to leave a little early last week. You had to see a friend. Are they fine?"
"Oh yes, he's fine," the Slayer replied with relief as she remembered their conversation. She thought about it so much that for a second, she thought Jack was talking about him… She needed to stop this attitude immediately. "It's… something I have to deal with," she added, smiling.
"Is this the same thing that makes you so distracted lately?" Jack asked.
"I'm not distracted!" Buffy exclaimed, pretending to be annoyed.
"Yes, you are! Friday, I had to remind you at least three times to see my student and you still haven't seen him!" He laughed.
"Oh… Right," the young woman grimaced. "Well, it's possible that I've been a little distracted these last few days…"
"Don't worry, it happens!" Jack reassured her when seeing her truly saddened face.
"I guess," she replied thoughtfully.
"If you wanna talk about it, I'm here," he offered sincerely.
"Oh, no! It's nothing and I don't wanna bother you with it."
"It doesn't bother me," he said with a broad smile. "You know, everyone has problems and sometimes, just talking to an outsider feels good."
Buffy smiled gratefully while shaking her head. "That's very nice, Jack. I really appreciate it, but I don't wanna talk about it."
"No problem! If you change your mind, you know where to find me," he joked.
"Thank you." Buffy took another sip of her cappuccino to try to hide her discomfort. She really felt good near Jack but how could she tell him that a supernatural threat hung over the world, that she was chosen to rid the earth of it and that she had to deal with a problem of weariness in relation to this status? He would definitely think she was crazy and she would not talk to him about it anyway. His life would only be in much danger.
"I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable," Jack worried when he saw her silent.
Buffy shook her head, smiling. "No, that was very nice of you."
"Actually… I was wondering if you'd be free one evening during the week so that we could go for a drink?" He said suddenly. The Slayer remained speechless for a few seconds. She didn't expect to be asked for a date at all. "Um, that is…" she tried to explain.
"Oh, you're seeing someone? Sorry, I should have-
"I don't!" The Slayer corrected herself, "I thought… You and Linda?" She admitted.
"Linda? Oh, no, she's one of my best friends; we worked together for years. So… does that mean you wanna go out?" He added.
"Well, it's a bit unexpected," the young woman murmured, trying to understand what had happened. "I like you very much, Jack," she continued quickly, "It's just that… it's a bit complicated right now."
"Don't worry, Buffy, I get it," Jack said, smiling. Faced with the young woman's surprised look, he continued. "What you need to deal with, it's a love story, isn't it?"
The Slayer frowned before smiling back. Jack didn't seem angry or about to make a scene. He was a young teacher who seemed completely normal and at that moment, he looked genuinely concerned about her.
"It's a little more complicated than that," she agreed after a few moments.
"Say no more. I've been wanting to ask you out for weeks but I didn't know how to tell you… When you've sorted out everything, if you change your mind, you know where to find me," he concluded with a wink before getting up.
Buffy smiled then watched him cross the room and the threshold of the front door before he disappeared among the crowd in the street.
"Where's Buffy?" Dawn asked. "It's past 10pm!"
At that moment, a knock was heard and Willow got up to carefully open the door. A smile stretched her lips at the sight of the newcomer. "Dawn? Can you come here?" She asked her from the doorway.
"Coming!" Reaching the witch, the young girl widened her eyes. "Spike?" He gave her a little nod. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to help. I got some info," he replied calmly.
"Really?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest to size him up.
"Really." The vampire replied with amusement in front of the attitude of the Slayer's sister.
"Okay, come in," she added after a little while.
Willow, Spike and Dawn returned to the living room where Andrew, Angel, Xander and Giles were already seated. At the sight of the vampire, Angel rolled his eyes while Xander almost choked on his coffee.
"What's he doing here?!" He exclaimed.
"He has information," Willow replied to try to prevent her best friend's anger while Dawn took her place.
"I thought he didn't wanna help us!" The young man pointed out.
"I changed my mind and I'm glad to see you too, Harris," the vampire replied, leaning against a wall.
"Spike, you're back," Giles noted with surprise.
"So are you. I heard you went back to England."
"Yes, but I was not resurrected. Do you know how this happened?"
"Long story, Rupert. Where's Buffy?" He asked, turning to Willow.
"She won't be long," the young woman replied, hoping that the Slayer would return before the tension was completely electric.
The Slayer had deliberately extended her patrol to decide how to behave about this new battle that was coming. She knew there was a chance that Spike would be here because Willow had assured that his presence could be useful. At the same time, she had to try to regain her position as the Slayer. Her friends counted on her, she was their guide and shouldn't let herself be overwhelmed by her emotions. So it was with determination that she entered the living room where everyone was already gathered. Willow was typing on the computer on the table while Dawn and Andrew had also taken a chair. Giles and Xander sat on the couch while Angel and Spike leaned against a wall, each at one end of the room, as if to better avoid each other.
The Slayer quickly noticed the presence of the new vampire but showed nothing of her confused emotions. Thinking about her good resolutions, she walked firmly towards the small gathering and crossed her arms to appear composed.
"It's time for us to have concrete information," she said, positioning herself in front of the table and in the center of the circle formed by her friends. "Giles, have you found something about this book?"
"Well, yes," he replied, taking off his glasses to clean them. "Unfortunately, this is not good news…"
"What did you find?" The Slayer asked.
"Jiang-Mai found the book. There's still a copy in China." Buffy frowned. This seemed like good news to her. "The problem is that the demons have also found an interest in it. They took and kept it carefully in a cave at the foot of Mount Tai. It's one of the five sacred mountains of China."
"Jiang-Mai can't take it back?" Dawn suggested.
"No. Unfortunately, the presence of demons continues to increase all over the world and Jiang-Mai had a lot of trouble spotting it. The new slayers lack training and experience, and this book seems to benefit from a close protection," the watcher explained, putting his glasses back on.
"At least, we know we're on the right track now!" Willow pointed out.
"Angel, did you find anything?" The Slayer asked, turning towards him.
"The missing humans weren't in the Missing Persons report but in that of convicts," the vampire replied.
"Convicts?" Xander repeated.
"More than a hundred delinquents have disappeared in recent weeks. Obviously, the police attach much less importance to them than to the population. It's probably even convenient for them," he continued.
"How did you get this information?" Willow asked curiously.
"I know quite a few people in the LAPD and surrounding areas. There are many ex-demons hired to defend humans."
"There are demons recruited by the legal authorities who defend humans?" The young red-haired woman wondered.
"They're demons in human form and there are no vampires," Spike interrupted. "You should have enlisted, Soul Boy," he sneered.
Angel didn't deign to answer him and continued. "I don't know why the demons chose these people, but it can't be a coincidence. It must have something to do with the ritual."
"Maybe they thought they'd be less noticed that way," Xander suggested.
"Demons don't have the ability to know who has a criminal record or not," Giles remarked. "They must spot them for another reason…"
"The ritual involves the necklace that was used to destroy the First," Willow informed them. "This is the object that Buffy saw."
"How do you know?" Dawn asked her.
"I joined their group and I was able to bring the Redhead down there," Spike explained.
"What? You brought Willow to this place?!" Xander exclaimed.
"Words don't reach your brain fast enough to understand a sentence?" The vampire sneered.
"You piece of scum! How could you take her into a nest of demons?!" Xander fumed, coming closer with a threatening look. "Hey, calm down, Harris. I didn't force her to come."
Xander glared at the vampire before turning to her best friend. "Willow! Why didn't you tell us?" He reproached her while the embarrassed young woman tried to justify herself, "I was very careful and Spike would have been spotted if there had been several of us…"
"You were seeing Spike and you didn't tell anyone?" Dawn asked her suspiciously.
Willow grimaced. "I wanted to tell you but, uh…"
"I asked her not to say anything, that's why," the blond vampire said calmly.
"And just why didn't you want her to tell us?!" Xander exclaimed.
"I wasn't sure I could have information and when I had the opportunity, I needed her skills and not yours," he replied with a shrug.
The young witch bit her lips and tried to intervene. "Look, I'm sorry, I should have told you," she admitted again.
"You don't have to apologize, Willow," the Slayer cut her short firmly. "You did what you thought was best."
"You're not gonna defend them?" Xander choked, turning towards her.
"Xander, it wouldn't have made any difference whether you knew it or not," she replied calmly. "We couldn't have all been there and Spike could protect her."
"But… did you know about it?" Xander asked her.
"Willow told me yesterday."
"So… that's what it was. It really was him that you saw!" Xander suddenly realized, "Buffy, you were afraid that Willow had fallen back into dark magic last night! How could you have changed your mind so quickly?"
All faces turned towards the Slayer but she brushed the remark aside with a wave of her hand. "Willow had good reasons not to tell us about it right away. She explained everything to me."
Xander shook his head and decided not to answer. He didn't understand why Buffy was taking their side and wasn't sure he wanted to know.
"What else did you see?" The Slayer asked, turning towards the vampire and the witch.
"Like when you were with Angel and Xander, demons and vampires were eating humans then heading to a small room where they stood in a circle. Then, a light hits the necklace and the demons switch places with a new one," Willow explained.
"What happens to this light?" Angel asked.
"I don't know but it seems clear that it's not a good thing," she replied. "I felt a mystical demonic force growing stronger…"
"Giles, Angel, have you discovered something on this necklace?" Buffy asked.
"The friend who sent it to me found it in Africa," Angel replied, "He has some writings that he'll send me but deciphering them might be tricky. I'm gonna need to collect several magic items and I hope my contacts have them."
"What do we do now?" Andrew asked after the group had fallen silent for a few moments.
"We need to find a way to get this book back," Giles said, taking off his glasses. "This is probably our strongest lead in understanding what is happening with the ritual."
"How?" Dawn asked. "If Jiang-Mai can't get it back, I don't see who can…"
"I'm gonna get it back," the Slayer suddenly decided.
"Buffy, we need you here!" Xander remarked. "You can't go to the other side of the world right now!"
"The number of demons is increasing and it obviously has something to do with the ritual. Without an explanation, there's nothing we can do to prevent this! The longer we wait, the more there will be. We must act now."
"What are we going to do in the meantime?" Dawn asked, a hint of worry in her voice.
"You're strong enough to organize patrols and continue to be attentive to what is happening in town. As soon as Angel receives the writings regarding the necklace, they'll also need to be translated." The Slayer then turned to her watcher, "Giles, I'll need you to guide me over there."
"Buffy, you can't go alone. It's far too dangerous."
"We have no choice! Everyone has an essential role to play here. I'll be careful," she said with conviction.
"Spike could come with you," Willow suggested. "He's part of the group of demons here and that could be an advantage, you never know. It'd be safer."
"No, I can do it on my own, Will."
Dawn stood up and walked around the table to face her big sister, although she was several inches taller than her. "Buffy, you won't go alone. If Spike can help you make this mission easier, you shouldn't take any chances," she decreed.
The Slayer sighed but agreed that her sister was probably right.
"Hey! Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad idea?" Xander exclaimed.
"Buffy's right, we need this book and she's the best person to find it," Giles agreed.
"Angel?" The young man asked, turning to the person who was most likely to agree with him.
"I'm not thrilled about it but I can't go with her. I'm in contact with several people who can provide me with information on the missing persons and the writings on the necklace should arrive soon."
"Not to mention we'll need someone to do patrols," Andrew pointed out.
"Alright, we'll leave tomorrow." the Slayer decided before turning to the blond vampire, "Be here at nightfall."
Our heroes are finally all together and our favorite duo will be forced to live side by side…