Mix Up

Outside Demands

For the Sake of Politics

~ Forenote ~

What if the village demanded Sasuke only be on a team with other clan heirs? What if Kakashi had an obligation to repay the training the Inuzuka's gave his ninken? What if Hiashi gave the Hokage a list of who not to put Hinata with? What if Ino refused to be on the same team as her lazy counterpart to spite her daddy's bet with her about it? What if Naruto's sexy Jutsu got him put in the kunoichi classes as a punishment? What if other objections left the Hokage with a very skewed set of options for team placement?

This is not a serious fic, I will however endeavor to make it humorous however I can...

Previously

The Hokage has invited the Jonin to select their Genin, and was met with a list of objections that had been delivered to not only Iruka, but the Jonin as well.

"So let me make a final list of all the team conditions." The Hokage growled as the academy instructor, his own two teammates Humora and Koharu, the three jonin sensei, and four upset parents all went silent in the cool intent he was emitting.

"My son," The weary shinobi began. "Wanted to take on the Ino-shika-cho as his team. Yuhi, was planning on a tracking team, and Hatake was assigned, the Uchiha boy and the vessel. He also agreed to accept the Haruno girl."

Yuhi Kurenai raised an eyebrow at the masked Jonin, who for once had actually arrived on time, shocking them all. "Is it safe for us to assume you picked her because of Naruto's crush on her?"

"No… It is not. It is in fact, very unsafe for me, if you make that assumption." Kakashi replied without looking at her.

The Hokage glanced at the pair and then looked at each of the others in turn. The Hyuuga patriarch, the Nara Matriarch, Miss Inuzuka, and Inochi Yamanaka all looked slightly subdued by his oppressive intent, however no one in the room appeared willing to even consider negotiation.

"And these selections that I personally recommended, are unsatisfying to all those present." A round of nods answered him.

"The reasons being all of the demands and conditions listed."

Hiashi had delivered a list of directly who not to place his daughter with; The kyuubi boy, any of the Genin from the clans Yamanaka, Akimichi or the Aburame. Or any non-clan shinobi. Eliminating all but the Uchiha, Nara, and the Inuzuka.

This was based on the Yamanaka Jutsu threatening clan secrets, the Obese clan's gentle nature encoraging her own nature, and the Aburame clan simply just because. Hiruzen understood the man's reluctance to admit Hinata's grandfather Hizami had ordered him to include the last clan as a means to remind him of his place in the clan.

Kakashi had informed him he had promised to trade a formal request to train Tsume's kid for free vet services and a few techniques from the Inuzuka clan. Who had literally dragged him to the office twenty minutes before the meeting was meant to start in order to make sure he made the request.

Hiruzen's old teammates had insisted that Sasuke be on a team of only clan heirs, and had brought up Naruto's most recent invention as a reason to refuse to allow him on the same team even after they had agreed that Kakashi was the best suited to train both of them.

Inochi had arrived shortly after the meeting was meant to begin, while everyone was busy staring at the masked jonin who had arrived before most of them. He had pleaded to be heard. He had made a bet with his daughter about who her team was going to be and when the girl found out from Shikamaru about the history of the trio, she outright threatened to begin dating her Inuzuka classmate, if it happened.

Now, having been called a cheat and screamed at all night, the man was just inside the doorway demanding she be taken out of the Ino-Shika-Cho and that she also not be put on the same team as Kiba.

He only realized Tsume was also in the room after finishing his request and was still flinching whenever the notoriously violent woman moved for any reason. It was likely she would hunt him down later in the day to ask what was wrong with dating her son.

Once he was admitted into the meeting, Nara Yoshino followed him in. Her son told her Ino's plans and offered to exchange one month of true and actual effort if she could make sure he and Choji stayed on the same team. Not going to miss the opportunity she wasn't taking no for an answer.

Iruka after hearing all of their demands offered up his own thoughts about team dynamics and recommended that Shino would be a good match for the trio and it would even retain the moniker.

As they normally tried to have a girl in each team this wasn't a welcomed idea. However putting Shino on the same team as the kyuubi's vessel risked exposing his 'allies' to the residual beast's chakra flowing through Naruto. The Aburame had asked him not to pair them on a permanent basis if possible when Naruto had first been accepted into the Academy. They'd had the foresight to ask years ago… because it was a valid risk which they couldn't know the extent of without voluntary experience.

However the instructor had also been adamant that Naruto must not be placed with either Ino or Sakura because of their abusive treatment of him. Just the other day they had begun a riot which beat the boy unconscious simply because he happened to bump into Sasuke.

His objections had then been refuted as Kurenai pointed out that the two elders said the boy was making up perverse jutsu and maybe he deserved to be beaten. She then followed that with stating that if Naruto was placed under Kakashi it would only be a matter of time before he began reading those books and emulating their author at the hot springs! Incidentally she too refused to take him as her student after Iruka confirmed the truth of the allegations.

The village leader had to make a compromise somewhere because he could reasonably make two balanced teams, but that would leave Naruto in an awful position. He tried to take care of the boy when he could, and after the events in the forest last night there was no way he could hold the boy back another year.

Aside from that, who would they have teach the teams… Kakashi had to be the one who taught Sasuke, being that he was the only one with a sharingan, and Asuma would easily adapt Shino into the Ino-shika-cho but if Kurenai refused to take Naruto one of those two would have to be displaced, and he knew Asuma wouldn't be able to handle both of those girls without severely breaking their feud. Having the two of them on the same team at all was asking for trouble.

"I have come to a decision." His grave tone of voice caused half the room to swallow involuntarily. "Yuhi, what would it take for you to accept Naruto and the two feuding girls?" The woman visibly shrank as his gaze leveled on her.

"Sir that combination alone is—" she began to object, only to be rebuked mid sentence.

"I am aware of the difficulty it would possess!" His voice softened slightly enough that she could breathe again, and he took on a more reasoning tone. "However, you are the only one to have an objection that I believe needs to be dealt with for the good of the genin involved. Further, as you did make the objection, I see no reason to allow you to refuse to make the necessary corrections as well. And finally, you, as an admirable example of a kunoichi are uniquely qualified to be their role model. Which of course, neither of the other two candidate sensei are capable."

As a gamble, he gave a meaningful look to the Inuzuka Matriarch. "Unless I need to assign the team to a woman even more suited?" Tsume's eyes widened and she moved her jaw as if holding back an argument. She hadn't applied to be a sensei and didn't want to be sacked with brats she didn't ask for.

But his point was made.

"I understand Hokage-sama. If I am to take Naruto as a student, I would require him to be re-enrolled into the Kunoichi classes in the academy. If he is going to parade as a woman, then he should apply his..." She groaned slightly as she forced herself to say it... "Invention, properly."

"I will also require that his presence there be maintained as a secret so that he learns as a girl." She paused, considering her next words carefully.

"He will need funding to supply him with requisite materials and attire, as well as an increased cost of living expenses. I would recommend relocation of all three of them to a team living space. This will force him to interact with both girls more regularly and would help not only provide him a healthier environment, but would make his situation more evident to the girls as well."

The Hokage considered her recommendation. If Naruto lived with them it could mean constant trouble, or it could easily result as Yuhi believed. They would imprint on him and learn to empathize with his situation. Doing so would also remove them from their homes and might not be acceptable, but then again… Given Inoichi's recent foul up…

"You must discuss the relocation with Haruno's parents, however I will locate a suitable apartment for the three of them and we can have both Ino and Naruto move in as soon as the teams are tested."

The dread that exploded onto Inoichi's face was met with laughter, and no one seemed to notice the severe disapproval on Iruka's.

~ Note ~

~ I know it's short… But like mentioned, it's not one of my serious stories, and is mostly meant to be funny.

~ Hizami is mentioned in my other fics, to understand the reference read my Missing Hokage fic.

~ The 'Bump' that got Naruto beaten was the kiss scene...

~ Next chapter we will see how the Genin react to their teams, after that will be the tests and the relocation!

~ Please show your support & review. Help motivate me to keep my momentum going!

~ You can find me on FB /Jordan. Tesla. 1