The faint crashing of the blood red sea onto the shores of the pearl white beach echoed through his mind, playing on a loop, repeat and repeat. Despite the bleak world around him, he felt embraced by the smooth, bleached sand underneath him, furnishing his body with warmth. This sense of touch was alleviating the pain aching through his body, his sense of sight dulled this. His bloodshot eyes piercing the bleeding maroon sky, one of the same as the once blue ocean now tainted with the solution mixture of LCL and Seawater.

As Shinji trembled, exerting energy to push himself up from lying down on the beach he found himself paralysed, unable to even arch his back slightly. He was not an utterly weak mess, Sure he was almost malnourished compared to his now long-gone classmates after living through his teacher's household social experiments of learning to eat and survive to the ability of those suffering the harsh life offered by the second impact. He knew he had the physical strength to get up, and that something else was failing him. His mind, which was still processing everything that had happened.

It was all just a blur, the feeling of helplessness and absolute dread as he felt the dummy plug hijack the control over the evangelion and assist the JSSDF in its assault of NERV HQ, infiltrating the geo-front. The faint sounds of rapid cracks ringing through the ear still lingering, as he watched the little black army men indiscriminately fire upon everyone affiliated with NERV in a horrific massacre. The last thing his mind could remember afterwards was watching EVA Unit-01 slowly march past the torn and bloodied, savaged forms of the series of Mass Produced Evangelions limped over. And towering in front of him was her, he could sense that she was staring at her, boring a hole through his skull with her own glare, imagining the thousand different ways he was going to be quartered, mangled from limb to limb. EVA Unit-02 stood over a kilometre away from him, painted in a second coat of red, forged from the entrails of lesser evangelions. The sight alone would make anyone turn back and run or freeze up in fear, but Shinji was almost thankful that all he could see was her evangelion, as that meant he did not have to look Asuka in the eye.

Its green eyes, glowing eyes imprinted in Shinji's sight as an afterimage, as his memory faded to black. Shinji screamed, throwing himself up, his nightmare giving him the strength to finally get up, he calmed himself down, feeling the race of the pulse of his heart slow down… but was it really a nightmare? Looking at the destroyed world around him, he wondered which place was the nightmare. But his train of thought ended as soon as he heard… Her.

"Shinji?"

Shinji froze upon hearing her utter those words, he knew it was her, he may of not even saw her with his own eyes nor heard her voice once in his whole life or at least he thought he had, but did the difference really matter if he couldn't even remember her all those years ago? Regardless, he just knew that it had to be her, the warm presence enveloping him even more potent than inside the claustrophobic entry-plug of Evangelion Unit-01. As minutes went by, he mustered the courage to tilt his head forward, his eyes finally meeting her gaze in a reunion in the making of over a decade.

"M-mother?"

Shinji noticed how her face softened upon hearing those words, giving in a caring but soft smile, she looked at him affectionally. He could finally notice the uncanny resemblance between her and Rei Ayanami. The expression on her face slowly transformed being more bitter than sweet, with her lip curling earthward, she started to shake and swallowed, mustering courage as well to look into the eyes of her only son, the one she abandoned all those years ago. Confessing to him her biggest guilt and regret in life, the words she could never say.

"I'm sorry, Shinji"

The world around him changed, with the red-wasteland giving in to the walls surrounding the entry-plug, still processing what had just happened, he only just noticed that the material surrounding the entry-plug was solidified rock. Manoeuvring out from the entry-plug, he slowly descended down from the petrified evangelion, the soft earth of the forest floor cushioning the impact on his feet. The once loud battlefield had now grown quiet, he could breathe in the world around him. He thought to himself had the evangelions had finally gone? Would he finally appreciate the beauty of the world around him?

Hearing the silence return to slight ambience of birds chirping and the faint crunching of leaves trudging the unscathed forest floor below him, he found his way to a cliff edge, standing over the pristine blue of the lake, taking in the scenery of it all. The gentle touch of the cool wind brushing his face; he knew all good things must come to an end, and despite feeling an even cooler sensation press against the back of his head he could accept this.

That was until Asuka spoke, of course.

"Ikari."

Her sharp tongue incised his skull, no longer recognised by his title of 'Shinji', 'The Third, 'Pervert', or her personal favourite, 'Idiot-Shinji'. No, he lost that right as damnation for his responsibility that day, being no different of an Ikari to his father or even his mother, his family lineage would taint all those who had followed it, inheriting the sins of the father and the mother. He could only hope she could be as merciful as they had been.

"Y-you killed Misato... you killed K-Kaji. Goodbye, Ikari."

Shinji was glad that he had not turned around to look at her, at least his final memories of Asuka and this world would be of her soft lips curled defiantly towards the sky, when they would occasionally sneak glances towards each-other during the synchronisation tests, the fun they had with Toji, Kensuke, and Hikari… And even Rei sometimes at school together. The times spent together at home with Misato… When unforgettably when they had kissed that one fateful night. That world behind him would forever be locked away, safely guarded for eternity unable to be stained by his sins or the passage of time.

Shinji could sense the struggle inside of Asuka, the resentment she loathed for him, yet also melancholy over it all, but also… to him? Even in the end, he still never understood Asuka, and maybe that is how it was and would always be, some things never changed. But as he awaited her judgement, he felt the terrifying presence of weightlessness as he found himself rapidly sink into the abyss of the void below, before Asuka could do anything, he accepted being taken into the Doors of Guf, just like how the twelfth angel, Leliel did all those many moons ago. And once again, fell into nothingness, ready to be reborn again once more.

'Another unfamiliar ceiling'

Almost by instinct the words nearly left his mouth, 'I guess that's something I can look forward to now' he muttered to himself, keenly aware of how hard it was to break a well-established, life-long habit. Sniggering to himself as he remembered how Asuka despite all her efforts, was never able to stop Shinji from apologising profusely at the slightest inconvenience or mishap. He found his gaze faced towards the sky once again, appreciating the sight once more.

Acknowledging how the bright, bold blue contrasting scattered, chalky clouds. Almost as if it were the angels final attempt to spite him, mocking him with the complete contrast to the world his mother wanted when he had finally saw the world mother resided in when they met, or more accurately, their long-awaited reunion.

Shinji despite not sleeping, felt more rested and comfortable then he had been for in months, he found himself wound up on forest litter from the forest above adorned of cherry and carmine leaves attached to the large, oaky tree that seemed to be in a state of withering. The memory of seasons vaguely arose, recalling the lessons he used to have with the old homeroom teacher of Class 2-A of 1st Public Junior High School in Tokyo-3. Although many could attest to the fact that they never could have paid attention to his incessant ramblings of life before the second impact, including Shinji. The old teacher would occasionally pique his interest, and one day found himself as the only one paying attention to a never-ending speech about the beauty of earth's seasons before the humanities hubris condemned them all to this fate to play God.

Had the seasons finally returned? Such a revelation should have eased his mind, but instead raised more questions than answers. What were the possibilities of this, what exactly had happened? What did he do? But most importantly, where was he? Gathering enough strength to rise from the ground, the gaze of his eyes was met with the view of fields encompassing him and the small forest. Eyeing the sight of a nearby city skyline, he set himself out on a trek in search of help and to find answers.

Even with his rest, his body ached thoroughly, feeling the cramp of his leg tighten and constrict as if he were the prey of a python, but continued to trudge through regardless, he needed to find answers. As the crashing of his feet onto the soil faded to the soft crunch of gravel littered alongside the abandoned, once busy highway running along a massive red bridge, one he was sure he had seen before in a tourism pamphlet but could not remember exactly where it was. The road along the bridge had cracked, being littered with the husks of vehicles ranging from small electric cars to trucks and armoured personnel carriers adorned with various emblems and words. He could understand some of the letters, such as he could identify the abandoned and stripped convoys each labelled as 'UN' but could not decipher the meaning behind others such as 'FEMA'. The crunch eventually subsided and the heavy thuds onto hard concrete echoed through his head as he made his way.

Eventually, making his way further into the city, he finally saw the vague silhouette of another person, despite his legs going to give, his mind solely focused on speaking to them, his burning questions lingering on his mind. He didn't even notice when his mind went on auto-pilot with his legs picking up haste, and within a minute or two, he had finally caught up, however he could never truly forget the sight that day.

There was a crowd of people in a crowd of misery, it seemed as if luckier ones had been able to sleep in raggedy tents which only had a few cuts through them, while others had to make do, creating makeshift shelters out of what they could scavenge. He only felt disgust knowing that during his time as an evangelion pilot, billions of dollars in funds would be siphoned off humanitarian and rebuilding efforts to maintain the industry of perpetual war against heaven and his angels, the cost of producing a single progressive knife for an evangelion could of revitalised this entire city. His attention was brought back to the man who was towering over him, his expression was undiscernible, but he was muttering something just as undiscernible as his expression, he stood there attempting to process what he was saying, was he speaking gibberish? he continued to think, ignoring the mans expression growing more confused and repeating his last statement slightly more coarsely.

He could only think to himself had he been speaking gibberish, or had he simply lost his mind? That would have made sense after everything that could have happened. He did not even notice that the man's expression in front of him beginning to sour, his voice and tone climbing even higher. But could only think that had he really lost his mind? If so, then why was it only language… but could they be speaking another language other than Japanese?

He vaguely remembered hearing some of those words said on TV and spoken by others such as Kaji and even Asuka sometimes, but where was he if no one was speaking Japanese? He only just realised now that they had not looked very Japanese, being much more diverse than Tokyo-3 was, and that was very diverse compared to the rest of Japan, smiling at the thought of his old times with Asuk- "Gah!" As he felt a strong shove impact his chest, emptying the air out of his lungs, and crashing against the impact of the cold, wet concrete against his back, rubbing a hand to soothe the pain building on his head. The man stood over him, raising his arm outstretched, pointing a finger to the side away from him and started to yell again in the unknown language, his face and expression now clearly decipherable, being of anger and frustration.

Shinji could only think of why he had done this, he could not understand him… was he trying to tell him to leave? As his gaze lingered on, he felt as if daggers slowly cut deeper into his skin. Shinji sighed to himself, knowing that he could not get caught lost thinking to himself again, he had to go.

He had to run away.

He made his way further and further into the crowd, with only a vague sense of direction on where to go from here, he noticed that despite how bleak the circumstances had been, it seems as if the people living here were content with this, seeing kids run around playing with each other, store vendors set up selling the scraps of the once-bustling city and people chatting with each-other, as we walked by the attitude was polarising, with some glaring daggers at him like the man from before, while others shot him sympathetic or even those beatific, a phrase ran through his conscious looping again and again as his eyes loitered them, "Anywhere can be paradise as long as you have the will to live". But Shinji could not identify where or who it came from, all he knew was that it was ever present burrowed in the depths in his psyche.

Eventually he found himself walking beside the cordoned off area with fence and barbed wire, with a large queue along the gate waiting to get inside, he could see the tattered flag of the United Nations waving valiantly, and the round emblem of an eagle spreading its wings with four letters, staring at the emblem, he failed to notice the footsteps in front of him on the other side of the fence. Lowering his head back down to the person in front of them, they could see a soldier clad in blue armour and a rifle in hand, bringing up images of JSSDF troops flashing in his mind, leaving him petrified. The UN Peacekeeper noticed his look and his expression softened, though the fence barred them from being with each-other, Shinji could sense his expression towards him, knowing that they at least wanted to help him. He watched as the man reached with his hand over his chest, grasping a radio transceiver attached on his vest, he began muttering again the unknown language into it. The exchange of voices and static echoed through, and after what seemed to be a conversation between him and the radio transceiver, he heard the heavy thuds slowly dissipate into the distance. Leaving Shinji alone with his thoughts to keep him company.

Or at least had seemed, he was awoken again by the gentle tapping on his arm behind him. 'I really need to stop doing that' Shinji only thought to himself, before twisting his body around to face a man covered in blue overalls, with a darker blue vest covered in the same, four-letter words as on the emblem before, escorted by two UN Peacekeepers. Shinji stood there as the man had tried speaking to him, tilting his head to the side, he only thought 'Do… do they… would they even understand me?'

He watched the man's expression grow sombre, but the edges of his lips once again turned up, smiling softly, he held his hand out for Shinji to hold onto. Although hesitant, he relented and held his hand, following the path returning into the relief campsite, he passed through the gate, doing his best to brush off the harsh glares of those waiting in queue, who had viewed him as skipping the line, Shinji tried to ignore this, as all he wanted was answers.

He found himself sitting on a chair under one of the many large tension tents scattered and conjoined encompassing an abandoned car park. Noticing how busy everyone seemed to be, working on various paperwork and documents, conversing with the radio, and manning stations as if he were transported back in time to the bridge in the Geofront, Shinji could only feel as if he did not belong there.

He felt this relentless pressure increase incrementally inside of him, crushing him between invisible walls as he sat down on one of the propped-up fold-up chairs, waiting for one of the blue-dressed workers to return, whether the minutes turned into hours or simply felt like hours Shinji could not tell the difference. What he did know was that he would dread the occasional worker who would pass by and take pity on him, attempting to converse with him, only to receive no answer as a response. As Shinji felt his circadian rhythm tick by, he grew more impatient, taking initiative he decided to try to ask for answers even if he did not know the language, he needed to speak to someone… anyone.

Shinji bashfully trudged through the tent with every step heavier than the last, his head limped over, trying to be as invisible and unnoticeable as possible he made his way towards a worker who had been sitting on a chair like him, trying to build enough courage to speak to them he stood there… awkwardly he stood still as a statue his gaze trying to peel away from her face but couldn't, taking in her bewildered expression. After a quiet, but briefly awkward staring contest, the tension wore off as Shinji finally built enough confidence to speak "H-Hello ma'am, do you know where uhm, I… uh, I-I am…?" He noticed her eyes widen in surprise before excusing herself leaving Shinji alone. 'Great' He muttered under his breath, his one chance at finding out what had happened was screwed up by none other than himself, why did he think speaking Japanese to a foreigner would be helpful at all? 'I'm always an idiot, just like Asuka had said, A good for nothing per-'

Staring at the ground he finally noticed the shadow of another person looming over them, it would have been intimidating if he had not felt a small but warm hand caress his shoulder, before he looked into her forest green eyes, she looked to be a black haired, pale woman in her early twenties what could be described as east Asian descent, but with European features having an appearance to some extent reminiscent of a Japanese ethnicity bringing him some familiarity. They looked at each other quietly, but unlike his previous encounter, there no tension between them and Shinji had been hoping to finally get the answers he wanted so desperately. She gave a soft smile that made Shinji feel warm and began to speak.

"Hi there! My name is Doctor Eriko Miller, but you can just call me Miss Eriko. What's yours?"

For how affectionate her touch was and how nice she was being, Shinji might have blushed or stammered profusely as he used to, but his mind was still racing trying to process what had just happened over the past 24 hours, giving only a meagre reply.

"S-Shinji"

Her face seemed to glow as she heard him speak, now breaking out a full smile she replied cheerfully. "Well, nice to meet you Shinji. That is a wonderful name, Is it just Shinji?" She looked at Shinji inquisitively, eagerly but patiently awaiting his response.

Shinji softly smacked his lips as he opened his mouth attempting to speak, initially the word 'Ikari' was likely to blurt out of his tongue, but had halted this action, as an internal conflict raged inside him whether stating his true identity would for the best, still vividly remembering the battle of Tokyo-3, his emotional bloc reasoned that it was his responsibility, being needed to return back home to check on if everyone was safe, seeing if they had survived the after-math, he couldn't abandon his only home.

On the other side of the aisle, his logical bloc reasoned that if the United Nations uncovered his true role and position at NERV, he would either be imprisoned indefinitely or killed on the spot right here and right now, bleeding out on the very chair he was sitting on. Not to mention the fact that even if NERV were exonerated and he was able to return to Tokyo-3, who was to say that he was wanted there, the only person willing to see him would be Asuka, who was likely waiting to finish off the job earlier before she was rudely interrupted. And after weighing his options, he made a clear decision, and this decision would be one of the most important in his entire life.

"T-Thank you, Miss Eriko… Shikinami… My name is Shinji Shikinami" Shinji shuddered inwardly in embarrassment, thinking to himself 'I can't believe it, seriously? Shikinami...? Where did that even come from, she's not going to fall for i-'

"Mr Shikinami, do you know where you are?" Forgetting about the conversation once again, Shinji managed to control himself from jumping out of his seat as his internal monologue was interrupted. Observing Eriko's smile as it began to dwindle and her expression turning more serious. Shinji let out an internal sigh, pondering on why he was so stressed in the first place over something as frivolous of a last name, how would she have been able to even disprove him anyways? 'I need to stop being so paranoid' he muttered to himself, before returning to answer her question.

Her expression only grew more sorrow as Shinji began to shake his head, Eriko thought to herself 'Poor kid is out here all alone… Is his family gone as well? He wouldn't have been the first kid out here going through that'. She let out a sigh, as her lips scrunched up thinking of how to word her next few words carefully. "Well then Mr. Shikinami, do you at least know where the last place you remember being at then?" Her expression paused as she patiently awaited Shinji's response.

"T-Thank you for being polite, Miss Eriko. But c-can you call me just Shinji please?" Shinji visibly relaxed as he saw her nod gently, feeling some weight loosen over his shoulder as the tension in the room continued to reduce, feeling more comfortable being in the room. "I was in Toky-" Shinji's form solidified as if he locked eyes with Medusa herself, as petrified as the evangelions had become, 'idiot… idiot! Idiot! Idiot!' His mind desperately tried finding a solution to salvage the situation. Eriko looked at Shinji concerningly wondering why he had abruptly turned rigid, as he felt her suspicion grow Shinji finally interjected "um… Tokyo-2!"

Eriko's face put up a smile as a front, but deep inside she grew doleful, muttering to herself 'He could not have been a part of the initial refugee's…' Her mind racing through the possibilities, was he trafficked? The second-impact generation had been bleak, and what would be the third would be no exception.

"Well then… in that case I guess it's my responsibility to welcome you then!" She paused as she began to give what Shinji could now identify as her trademarked smile "As Doctor Eriko Miller of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, I hereby welcome Shinji Shikinami!" Shinji only looked up at her face with a face full of perplexity, his mind analysing the various possibilities as if it were the MAGI itself. "Welcome… me?" Eriko sighed upon the sight of his gaze emanating confusion, knowing that it would be herself who would have to be the one to shatter his world.

"Welcome to the United States of America"