South Park: The Journey of Jessie Gladstone in The Stick of Truth!

by Vgn Golley

A young boy had recently moved into a quiet little mountain town named 'South Park' with his family in hopes of being able to live an everyday normal life, but all of that changed when Jessie Gladstone found out that South Park isn't your average little town and hopes that no one finds out about his powers or his mysterious and dark past. Rated M because it's South Park.

1. First Day in South Park-Part 1

Hey, guys! Welcome to my first ever South Park OC Story, 'South Park: The Journey of Jessie Gladstone in The Stick of Truth!'. I hope that you guys will enjoy the chapter...anyway, I don't own anything except for my OCs.

NOW LET'S GET ON WITH THE STORY!

Deep in the lands of Zardon, the humans of Kupa Keep struggle to stay alive as they are attacked by the wicked Drow Elves of Larnion

Darkness falls as the humans begged their king to save them. A noble king, known only as...The Grand Wizard

For a thousand years this battle has been waged with only the bravery of the Grand Wizard to protect his human followers. But even though the Wizard King is so undeniably cool, the Drow Elves continue their attacks. They seek the humans most treasured relic...The Stick of Truth!

But the tides of war are soon to change as news of a new kid spreads throughout the land

In order to save the humans, the Grand Wizard must get to the new kid before the Drow Elves can manipulate his mind and use him to take the sacred relic from human hands. For whoever controls the stick...controls the universe!

It was a nice, normal Sunday Morning in a weird city known as South Park as we see a blue car slowly driving across the city with a moving truck following behind it as the car arrived at a two-story red house with a small garage planted next to it as the small vehicle parked near the sidewalk, and a Man and a Woman got out of the vehicle as the woman opened the back door and a Young Child jumped out as he looks around disinterestedly.

The Young Child is an 10-year-old Boy with sky blue eyes, shoulder-length curly dark blue hair, a small nose, freckles on both his cheeks, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a lean somewhat muscular build, and his outfit consisted of a dark red hoodie with a white shirt underneath, black jeans, and white sneakers. His name is Jessie Gladstone.

The man is a 41-year-old Male with black eyes with specks of blue, short brown hair, a big nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slightly fat build, and his outfit consisted of a white-collard shirt with black pants and brown shoes. His name is Chris Gladstone, Jessie's father.

The woman is a 42-year-old Female with brown eyes with specks of blue, curly brown hair, a small nose, freckles on both her cheeks, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim hourglass figure, and her outfit consisted of a green shirt with black pants and black shoes. Her name is Kelly Gladstone, Jessie's mother.

"So, sweetie, what do you think of our new home?" Kelly asked her son gleefully while entering her new home with her family as Jessie shrugged and gave his mother a blank look.

"The place looks great, Mom. I hope that I will be able to stay here longer than a couple of months like all of the other houses we used to live in." Jessie says snarkily as Kelly winces and looked away guiltily as Chris notices this and frowns as he gave his son a stern look.

"Now, son, I know that moving into a new city-,"

"Is challenging for you with having to leave your home, friends, school, blah, blah, blah. I know the drill already, Pops." Jessie says sarcastically while rolling his eyes as Chris glared at him lightly.

"Hey, young man, you don't have to use-," Chris says before getting interrupted by his wife as she suddenly appears with a box marked 'Jessie's stuff' and hands it to her son.

"Sweetie, why don't you go upstairs and unpack your stuff while Mommy and Daddy help the movers unpack?" Kelly suggested sweetly just as the moving truck drove up as Jessie sighed but nodded as he ran upstairs, and, after arriving in what the Young Boy assumed to be his room, Jessie looks around with a bored look on his face as he sighs bitterly and begins unpacking when suddenly he paused as his enhanced hearing picked up on his parent's conversation from downstairs.

"Honey, you can't keep enabling him like that." Jessie rolled his eyes at the sound of his Dad's voice as he continued unpacking while eavesdropping on his parent's conversation. "Our son needs-,"

"I am not enabling our son, and what our son needs is for you to be a little bit more understanding, Chris." Kelly's voice rang out as Jessie smiled at the sound of his mom's voice but frowns at what she said next. "Our boy has been forced to move from one place to the next with no chance of having a normal life or having friends, so excuse him if he gets a little crabby."

"Hey, don't you dare blame that on me, Kelly. You know exactly why we are forced to move from one city to another. We can't risk having Jessie's abilities exposed to the public." Chris says as Jessie heard his Mother sigh tiredly.

"I know, but I just wish that our son can have the normal life that he deserves."

"But what's perfect about this place, Kelly. I heard on the news that a lot of crazy shit happens in this city on a regular basis that makes his powers pale in comparison. This is the perfect hiding place for him."

"I hope you're right about that, honey, because I'm getting pretty sick of moving around every time the government shows up. "

"Sweetie, I promise you that the government won't find us again. As long as we keep our mouths shut about our past and Jessie doesn't use his powers in public, we won't have anything to worry about. Trust me on this. I won't let the government harm you or our Son." Chris says with a determined tone as Kelly sighed heavily.

"Alright, I guess I will trust you."

"That's great, honey. You won't regret this. Things are finally going to be good for once. Come on, let's check on what Jessie's doing." Chris says as Jessie hears his parents walking up the stairs and panics as he quickly finishes unpacking and sat down on his new bed as Jessie pretended to be relaxing. "Hey, champ," Chris says while entering Jessie's new room with Kelly as they smiled at him. "How do you like your new room?" Chris asked as Jessie looks around briefly and shrugs.

"It's a lot bigger than the last one, I guess," Jessie says as Chris nodded before walking over to sit on his son's bed as Kelly did the same.

"Look, son, I know that you're still mad about moving for the thirty-fived time, but I just want you to know that this is the last time that we will be moving because-"

"In this city, a lot of crazy shit happens that makes my abilities pale in comparison, making it the perfect hiding spot from the government," Jessie says as his parents stared at him in surprise. "I overheard on your conversation." Jessie admitted sheepishly as his parents glared at him sternly.

"Young man, what did I say about you using your powers to spy on people?" Kelly says while crossing her arms as Jessie looks down guiltily.

"That it's wrong, and I should never do it unless if it was an emergency," Jessie says as his parents continued glaring at him, and he frowned sadly. "Look, I'm sorry about eavesdropping on your conversation. It just happened." Jessie says apologetically as his Parents' faces soften and sighed as Chris rubs his son's hair.

"We know that you didn't mean to do it, Son, but in order for us to have a normal life here, you have to control and hide your powers. Otherwise, we have to move again. Can you do that, son?" Chris asked as Jessie sighed and nodded.

"I promise, Dad." Jessie says as Kelly and Chris smiled and hugged him as he hugged them back.

"Well, now that you finished unpacking, why don't you run along and go make some new friends, sweetie?" Kelly suggested as Chris nodded in agreement.

"Right, get outside and play, son. Like...like normal kids."

"We've got some money for you in kitchen counter, sweetie. Just...be back before it gets dark." Kelly says sweetly as Jessie nods lightly.

"Sure, Mom," Jessie says as his parents smiled before standing up as they left his room. "Well, time to go and make some new friends, I guess," Jessie says with a sigh as he leaped out of his bed and did a backflip in the air before landing gracefully on the ground as, after realizing what he just did, Jessie groans and facepalms while shaking his head.

"Hiding my powers is going to be more difficult than I thought." Jessie deadpans before shaking his head as he walked out of his room, but not before grabbing a couple of baseball cards and fifty cents from his backpack and feeding his fish, Gary. Running down the stairs, Jessie made his way over to the kitchen as he grabbed the 2.00 from the counter that his parents left him and then decided to explore his new house a bit as he collected some loose change, some random junk, and strangely enough, a blonde wig styled in pigtails. Not giving too much thought to it, Jessie pockets the wig as he was about to go upstairs but was stopped by his angry father.

"What do you think you're doing?" Chris asked sternly as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him in confusion.

"I was about to go upstairs to grab my-,"

"When your mother and I told you to go out and make some friends, it wasn't a REQUEST, it was a COMMAND!" Chris says while roughly grabbing his son's arms as he basically drags him to the front door and throws him outside. "Now, get out there and make some FRIENDS!" Chris screamed before slamming the door shut.

"Are you serious!?" Jessie shouted in disbelief as he stood up and runs up to the door. "You can't just lock me out of my own damn house!" Jessie screamed while pounding his fist on the door, nearly cracking it as Chris opens the door and glared down at his son.

"Can you just go out and make some friends, for Christ's sake!" Chris says before slamming the door shut again as Jessie huffs angrily.

"Screw you, Dad!" Jessie yelled while kicking the door angrily, creating a huge crack in it, before stalking off as he explored the garage a bit and found a blonde surfer wig. Shrugging, Jessie pocketed the wig as he walked back outside and walks down the street as Jessie turns his head and spotted something that made him gasp.

"Whoa, a Chu-Chu Nezumi!" Jessie shouted as he spotted a Chipokomon toy stuck on a tree and smiled excitedly. "My second favorite Chipokoman! I have to have it!" Jessie shouted as he ran towards the tree and leaps up as Jessie tries to grab the toy but failed as he was too short. "Damm, it's too high up," Jessie says before looking around as he smirks mischievously. "I'm sure no one will notice if I use my powers to-,"

"You shall die by my Warhammer, Drow Elf!"

"Nuh-uh!"

"Damm." Jessie cursed as he turns around and blinks as he saw two kids about his age fighting each other while wearing weird costumes. One of the kids is a 10-year-old boy with black eyes, a small tuft of bright blonde hair on the top of his head, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a turquoise shirt with the symbol of a small yellow shield on it, blue shoulder pads with white outlines, a dark blue cape, gold gloves with yellow trim, a brown rope tied around his waist that keeps his suit together, a golden crown/headband with a red gem in the center, turquoise pants, and brown shoes. His name is Butters Scotch, arguably one of the most innocent, sweetest boys in the show.

The other kid is not really that important to the story, so I won't describe him other than the fact that he is a 10-year-old boy dressed as an elf.

"I banish thee to the forest realm!" Butters yelled while swinging at him with a small hammer as the elf blocked it with his wooden sword.

"No way, I banish you first!" He screamed while swiping at Butter's head as the small kid fell on the ground, and the elf smirked. "Ha, ha! You can't hold on much longer!"

"HELP! SOMEBODY! I CAN'T HOLD ON MUCH LONGER! HEEELP!" Butter screamed as the elf begins wailing on him with his sword, leaving small bruises on Butters' body as Jessie felt his blood boil in anger at the sight of the poor boy getting picked on and angrily marched over to the elf as he taps his shoulder.

"Hey!" Jessie says as the elf turned to him, only to scream in pain as Jessie punches his face and sends him flying to the ground as Butters looked at him in awe. "Leave that kid alone!" Jessie says as the elf stood up and placed a hand on his broken nose as he glared at Jessie with tears of pain in his eyes.

"Hey, no fair! That's cheating! I'm going to tell my mom!"

"Whatever. Get the fuck out of here before I break your arm." Jessie threatened while glaring at him as the elf ran away, and Butters walked up to the blue-haired boy.

"Hey, thanks, kid. I didn't realize he had a health potion," Butters says as Jessie smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome, dude. I can't stand bullies." Jessie says before looking over Butter's costume and raised an eyebrow. "So, were you two playing a game or something?" Jessie asked curiously as Butters nodded with his usual cheery smile.

"Yeah, and I was loosing until you showed up and saved me. Thanks for that again."

"No prob, bob." Jessie says, waving it off as Butters smiled and raised his 'Warhammer' heroically.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Butters the Merciful. I'm a paladin. I live right next door to you. We should be friends."

"Sure, I'm cool with that." Jessie says just as his phone pinged as he pulled it out and saw that it was a Facebook friend request from Butters, which he accepted without thinking as Jessie noticed that Butters had posted a message that says, 'Hey everybody! There's a new kid playing with us, and me and him are friends! That way, nobody picks on him.'

"Wow, that was easy. Barely two minutes outside, and I already have a friend." Jessie thought to himself in amusement as he puts away his phone.

"Now that we're friends, you should speak with the Wizard King! He's been talking about your arrival!" Butter says excitedly as he took a few steps down the street before turning to Jessie as the blonde-haired boy points ahead. "The Wizard lives this way. In the green house, over there." Butters says as Jessie nods, and they began walking toward the Wizard's home. "Hey, where are you from?" Butters asked curiously as Jessie shrugs.

"Oh, you know. Here...there...everywhere." Jessie answered vaguely as Butters raised an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, well, because of my parent's work, we have to move around a lot, so I pretty much lived everywhere."

"Oh, that sounds fun." Butter says as Jessie sighed bitterly.

"Oh, yeah, having to leave your home dozens of times, go to different schools, and leaving all the new friends that you made sounds really fun,"

"I bet," Butters says, oblivious to his New Friend's sarcasm as Jessie sighs. "So, where did you live before moving here?"

"New York, Queens," Jessie says as Butters nods.

"Cool, so do you like Colorado?" Butter asked as Jessie shrugs.

"Yeah, it's alright, I guess," Jessie answered, although Butters wasn't paying attention to him as he pointed at his hair.

"Why is your hair blue?" Butters asked bluntly as Jessie's relaxed demeanor disappeared, and he glared at Butters furiously.

"It just how my hair naturally looks like, okay!?" Jessie shouted self-consciously while covering his hair as Butters raised his hands in surrender.

"Okay, okay, sorry. I didn't mean to offend you." Butters says with an apologetic look as Jessie took a deep breath and calms down as he nodded.

"It's fine, Butters. It just that I've been picked on for my blue hair, so I'm kind of sensitive about it." Jessie says as Butters nods, and they arrived at the Wizard's house as Butters knocks on the door, and an extremely obese boy answered the door. The boy is a visibly overweight ten-year-old with black eyes, messy reddish-brown hair, a small nose, a double chin, Caucasian Skin, and his outfit consisted of a red-violet wizard cloak with a blue cape held on by gold buttons, a turquoise wizard hat with a smiley face on it, yellow gloves, a turquoise belt with a pouch, and red shoes as he also carried around a large wooden stick with a big knob at the top. His name is Eric Cartman, the Grand Wizard.

"All hail the Grand Wizard!" Butters exclaimed, introducing the Grand Wizard as Cartman eyed Jessie up and down and nodded to himself as he stepped forwards.

"So...you're the New Kid, right?" Cartman asked as Jessie nodded.

"Yeah, I just moved here-,"

"You're coming was foretold by Coldwell Banker. I am the Wizard King." Cartman interrupted as Jessie glanced at him with an annoyed look before shaking his head as he held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you. I'm-,"

"But the time for talk is not nigh. Let me show you my kingdom." Cartman says, interrupting him again as he turned around and walked into his house. Jessie turned to Butters as he gave him a disbelief look, and Butters shrugged sheepishly as Jessie sighed but reluctantly entered the Wizard's house as he saw a woman sitting on the couch, watching some TV. The woman is a 31-year-old Female with black eyes, long dark brown hair pulled back into a bun, a small nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim hourglass build, and her outfit consisted of a white-collared turquoise sweater with brick red trousers, and brown shoes. Her name is Liane Cartman, Eric's weak-willed, spineless slutty mother.

"Oh, who's your new friend, Eric?" Liane asked as Jessie smiled and was about to introduce himself, but was stopped by Eric as he grabbed Jessie's arm and pulled him away from his mother.

"Shut up, Mom, not now," Eric replied rudely as he pulled Jessie to his kitchen with Butters following after them as the fat kid opened the back door and walked outside as he held out his hands. "Welcome...to the Kingdom of Kuppa Keep!" Eric says as Jessie stepped outside and gasped in wonder as he saw that Eric had converted his backyard into a cardboard fortress with a small tent in the middle, a cardboard stand with a banner that read, 'Armory', and a set of stables with a gray cat named Mr. Kitty inside.

"Whoa! Now, this is impressive! This place looks like something out of a fantasy book!" Jessie says while looking around in awe as Cartman smirked smugly and puffed out his chest in pride.

"Thanks, it took me a long time to build this place. Anyway, let me show you around." Eric says as Jessie nods, and Eric leads him over to the armory stand. "Our weapons shop here is tended by Clyde, a level 14 warrior." Cartman says while pointing at the boy, who was standing near the stand as he was cleaning a wooden sword. The boy is a 10-year-old Male with black eyes, messy brown hair, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a red shirt with a blue cape, a metal helmet, a brown belt with a pair of scissors strapped on it, black pants, and black shoes. His name is Clyde Donovan.

"Oh, that helmet looks cool," Jessie says while pointing at Clyde's helmet as the brown-haired boy smiled.

"Thanks, I found it behind a dumpster," Clyde says as Jessie nodded before following after Cartman as the fat boy leads him over to the stables that were being looked over by another boy, who was petting the cat as he was sticking his tongue out. The boy is a 10-year-old Male with black eyes, messy brown hair, freckles under his eyes, a big nose, Caucasian Skin, a slightly chubby build, and his outfit consisted of a green shirt with blue pants, a dark green cape with a matching headband/belt, and black shoes. His name is Scott Malkinson.

"Here, you can see our massive stables. Overseen by the level nine ranger...Scott Malkinson, who has the power of diabetes." Cartman says as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him while placing his hands on the front pocket of his hoodie.

"Isn't that more of a curse than a blessing?"

"That's what I've been saying!" Scott says as Cartman dragged Jessie over to what appears to be a young girl wearing an orange parka and a young boy standing beside her. The young girl is a 9-year-old Female with black eyes, long flowing blonde hair, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and her outfit consisted of a purple/white dress with golden shoulder pads, white gloves, and an orange parka that covers most of her head, except for her eyes. Her name is Kenny McCormick.

"And, here, of course, is the breathtaking and lovely Princess Kenny. The fairest maiden in all the land." Cartman says as Jessie smiled and walked over to Kenny as he grabbed her arm and kisses it.

"Nice to meet you, Princess," Jessie says with a wink as Kenny blushed and giggled as Butters leaned into Jessie's side.

"Before you continue flirting, I should warn you that Kenny is a guy," Butters whispers as Jessie's eyes widen in surprise, and the blue-haired boy quickly backed away from Kenny in disgust as the princess giggled at his actions.

"You couldn't have told me that before I kissed his hand?" Jessie asked Butters with an annoyed tone as the blonde-haired boy shrugs sheepishly. "Also, if he's a boy, then why is he playing as a chick?" Jessie asked with a disturbed look on his face as the young boy standing beside Princess Kenny giggled to himself amusedly. The young boy appears to be a 6-year-old male with black eyes, long light brown hair that was pulled back into a high bun, her face was covered with dirt and scraps, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and was wearing a red metal crown with black accents, a black chest plate with black pauldrons as he had a long-sleeved red shirt underneath, a long red cape wrapped around his neck, black gloves, long red pants, and black boots as he also carried around a sword on his back. His name is Karen McCormick.

"Ha, ha, you kissed my Brother's hand." Karen says with a giggle but then flinched as Princess Kenny gave him a pointed look. "Oh, uh, I mean, ha, ha, you kissed my Sister's hand." Karen says while speaking in a more manly tone as Cartman leans over to a bewildered Jessie.

"We don't really know why Kenny wants to play as a Princess, but we just let him roll with it. Oh, and that's his Little Sister Karen. I didn't want her to play with us, but Kenny insisted that she played with them because all of her Friends are busy, and he doesn't want her to be bored."

"Why is she dressed as a Prince then?" Jessie asked with a raised eyebrow as Cartman glared at him.

"Because I refuse to have more than one Girl play with us...you're not a girl, are you?" Cartman asked while eyeing him as Jessie gave him a deadpan glare.

"Well, last time I checked, I have a dick and balls, so yeah, I'm a dude."

"Oh, okay, good." Cartman says with a nod while walking away with Butters as they left behind Jessie, who went off to explore the rest of Kuppa Keep, as he walked ahead and spotted a daffodil planted on the ground as he turned to look at Princess Kenny and an idea popped into his head as he grabbed the flower and walked over to the princess as Jessie presented the flower to her as she gasped in delight.

"Mm mrm mrm? Mrm mrm mrmmm mm mrm, mrm mm. (A flower for me? Why how generous of you, kind sir)." Princess Kenny says while batting her eyelashes at him as she grabbed the flower, and Jessie smiled at her awkwardly.

"Yeah, uh, your welcome," Jessie says as he then turned to Prince Karen. "It's a pleasure to serve you, my prince." Jessie says while kneeling to him as Karen giggled in delight.

"Thank you." Karen sweetly says before Princess Kenny grabbed onto his hand and leads them away.

"Hey, New Kid, what do you think of Kuppa Keep so far?" Scott asked Jessie, who stopped kneeling as he shrugged.

"Well, I have to say, you guys take playing really seriously, and I dig that. Also, I love how your 'horse' is a cat." Jessie says while petting the gray cat as Scott smiled.

"Glad your liking our kingdom so far, new kid. Anyway, I have to go and feed Mr. Kitty. See you later." Scott says while grabbing Mr. Kitty as he walked away.

"Bye." Jessie says while waving goodbye as he walked over to Clyde and whistled at the weapons that were displayed throughout the small stand. "This is some fine weapons that you have here." Jessie complimented as Clyde smiled and nodded.

"Thanks, I would like to show you some, but you have to talk to the Grand Wizard first before purchasing a weapon," Clyde says as Jessie nods.

"Cool, well, I guess I will-Wait a minute! In order to get a weapon, I have to pay for them? Like with real money?" Jessie asked as Clyde nodded. "Well, that's bullshit! I'm not paying for any of these!" The blue-haired boy exclaimed firmly with a glare while crossing his arms as Clyde shrugs.

"Hey, I didn't make the rules. The Grand Wizard did."

"Ugh, whatever," Jessie says while rolling his eyes as he walked away and made his way to an area filled with training dummies.

"Ah, I see that you've found the training area where our massive army learns how to fight," Cartman explained while still sitting on his throne as Jessie walked over to one of the dummies and tapped it slightly as it was sent flying in the air and crashed on the neighbor's backyard and a surprised Jessie's eyes widened nervously as he looks around and sighs in relief as the teenage boy saw that no one was paying attention to him and Jessie walked away while whistling innocently.

"Hey, be careful. The Rock of Insanity holds mysterious powers." Cartman warns Jessie, who was walking over to a large rock with a sign that read, 'Rock of Insanity' on it as Jessie stared at it curiously and touched it. "Okay, you're insane now. If you want to be healed, you must gaze at the Rock again." Cartman informed as Jessie stared at it again, and Cartman nodded in satisfaction. "Okay, you're healed." Cartman says as Jessie spotted a pool filled with a sign that says, 'Pool of Vision', and walked over to it.

"Ah, yes, the Pool of Vison. Beautiful, isn't it?" Cartman says as Jessie gazed into the water and gasped as he saw a vision of himself and a bunch of kids fighting against a superhuman army that was led by Clyde as he laughs evilly. Blinking, Jessie shakes his head as his phone rang, and he pulls it out as Jessie noticed that he got more Facebook friend requests from Princess Kenny, Prince Karen, Clyde, and Scott as Jessie smiled a bit and accepted their friend's requests as he then made his way over to Cartman. "So, you finished exploring, new kid?" Cartman asked as Jessie nodded.

"Yeah, and I have to say-,"

"Anyway, you have been sought out, New Kid, because humans everywhere are in great danger." Cartman says, interrupting Jessie once again, as the blue-haired boy sighed tiredly but didn't say anything as Cartman continued. "I need something from you, and in return, I am prepared to allow you into my kingdom."

"Alright, sure, whatever. What do you need?" Jessie asked as Cartman smiled and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen.

"I will give you your first quest soon, but first, please tell us thy name," Cartman says as Jessie nodded and wrote down his name on the paper as he then handed it back to Cartman, who glanced at it briefly before looking up at Jessie with a mischievous smirk. "You wrote, 'Douchebag'. Is that correct?"

"What? No. My name is Jessie Gladstone."

"Are you sure you want to keep the name, 'Douchebag'?" Cartman asked while snickering as Jessie glared at him.

"No, asshole! My name is-,"

"Very well, Douchebag. You will now choose a class: Fighter, Mage, Thief, or Jew."

"He's going to be calling me 'Douchebag' from now on, isn't he?" Jessie asked Butters with a deadpan look as the paladin nodded, and the blue-haired boy sighs as Cartman walked off and returned with four boxes filled with costumes. "Alright, let's get this over with." Jessie says as he walks over to the boxes and saw that each one was labeled with the classes that Cartman mentioned.

"Alright, first of all, I'm not Jewish, so I will rule that one out...Thief sounds cool, but I prefer fighting bad guys head-on instead of sneaking around them...hmmm, a Mage, huh? Magic sounds cool, but I prefer beating people up, so Fighter it is." Jessie says while grabbing the box labeled 'Fighter' as he walked over to a tent and changes inside as, after finishing suiting up, Jessie walked out while wearing a blue-button shirt with a red bandana, yellow gloves, brown pants, and black shoes.

"Ah, good choice, Douchebag. A Fighter has courage, honor, and the ability to kick fucking ass. I'm pretty sure that you will fit right in." Cartman says as Jessie nodded while admiring his outfit as the Grand Wizard turned to his kingdom and raised his staff in the air. "Lets welcome to our kingdom, Douchebag the Fighter!"

"Hooray!" Butter cheered happily as everyone applauded Jessie.

"Thanks, but my name is not Douchebag, though," Jessie grumbled with a sweatdrop as Cartman turned to him and pointed at the armory stand.

"Now, please, and go visit the weapons shop. Procure yourself a weapon, and we shall teach you to fight!" Eric says as Jessie nodded and walked over to Clyde as the boy turned to him with a bored look on his face.

"Would you like to see my wares, weary traveler? Perhaps you would like to hear tips and rumors for two dollars?"

"Hmmm, sure, why not," Jessie says with a shrug as he handed him two bucks.

"Don't spend two dollars on tips and rumors," Clyde says with a cheeky smirk as Jessie gave him a deadpan look.

"Ha, ha, that's funny. Just give me my damn weapon." Jessie says as Clyde nods and handed him a wooden sword.

"That will be about 2.34," Clyde says as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him while crossing his arms.

"You already scammed two dollars out of me, so I'm not giving you any more money."

"That's fair," Clyde says with a shrug as Cartman walked over to them.

"Ah! You have procured yourself a weapon, nice. It is now to teach you how to fight. I want you to take your new weapon and, with the bravery of a noble knight...beat up Clyde."

"What!?"

"What!?"

"Kick Clyde's ass, New Kid." Cartman urged as Jessie and Clyde stared at him with disbelief looks.

"What did I do?" Clyde asked as Cartman glared at him.

"I'm the king, Clyde, and the king wishes to be amused. Go on, New Kid, kick his ass."

"Are you serious? Just like that?" Jessie asked as he nodded and pushed him to a ring made out of rope in front of the castle as Clyde followed and walked to the other side of the ring as he glared at the new kid.

"I'm gonna kick your ass!"

"Okay, I guess we're doing this," Jessie says as Cartman walked over to the stands to watch the fight and glares at Clyde.

"Clyde, you have to wait your turn!"

"That's lame."

"Yeah, that is kind of lame," Jessie says, agreeing with Clyde, as Eric glared at them.

"No, guys, it's like olden times. You have to wait your turn like in the middle of ages. I know it's lame, guys, but its how we are fucking doing it!" Eric ranted angrily before calming down as he turned to Jessie. "All right, Douchebag, bash Clyde's face in! Don't be shy!" Eric says as Jessie looks down at his sword warily and nods as he charged over at Clyde and swiped at him lightly, but didn't hurt him whatsoever as Clyde smirked smugly.

"That's all you got?" Clyde says as Jessie went back to his spot, and Cartman groans.

"Oh my god, it's Butters all over again." Grand Wizard says while rubbing his temples in frustration as he sighs and turned to Jessie. "Okay, look. Try putting your back into it at the last possible moment and swipe at him as hard as you can."

"But if I do, I could send him to the hospital or worse." Jessie thought to himself nervously as he took a deep breath and ran towards Clyde as he raised his wooden sword. "Not too hard! Not too hard! Not too hard!" Jessie chanted mentally as he swiped at Clyde and manage to deliver some damage as Clyde yelped in pain and was sent a couple of feet back, but otherwise was fine as Jessie sighs in relief.

"Oh, hell yeah! Clyde's your bitch! Alright, Clyde's wearing armor. In order to hurt him, I want you to hit Clyde as hard as you can." Cartman says as Jessie nodded and ran over to Clyde as he slams his sword against his temple and knocked him to the ground as Clyde coughed out blood and whimpers in pain. "Oh, shit, dude, I think I see blood! Fucking nice, brah! That's exactly what you do to guys with armor like that." Cartman says as Clyde stood up and wipes the blood away from his mouth as he glared at Jessie angrily. "Okay, listen up. The key to surviving in battle is not to get hit in the balls. Clyde is your turn to attack. Douchebag, protect your balls." Eric says as Clyde gripped his sword tightly and ran over to Jessie as he raised his sword in the air.

"Prepare yourself!" Clyde shouted as he swiped at him, but Jessie managed to block his attack in time, although he felt that he took some damage from that attack.

"Huh, I guess blocking only prevents some of the damage, but not all of it. Good to know." Jessie says to himself thoughtfully as Clyde went back to his spot, and Cartman smirks.

"YES! That's what I'm talking about, dude! You're already WAY better than Clyde!" Cartman says as Clyde frowns but didn't say anything as he continued. "Alright, it's time for you to use your heroic powers. Using your abilities takes power points, or PP for short."

"He, he, PP." Clyde chuckled as Jessie smiled in amusement.

"IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING BETTER NAME FOR THEM THAN FUCKING SAY IT, CLYDE! FUCKING ASSHOLE! I'M THE KING, AND I SAY IT'S PP!" Cartman screamed at Clyde with his face going red in anger as the level 14 Warrior shrinks back from his yell.

"Okay, was that yell really necessary?" Jessie asked Cartman with a raised eyebrow as the fat boy calmed down and composed himself as he turned to him.

"Douchebag, use your fighter ability to make Clyde pay for insulting your king!" Cartman says, ignoring Jessie's question as the boy shakes his head and turned to Clyde.

"Alright, so what do I do?" Jessie asked as Cartman gestured for him to look at his pockets, which he did as he rummaged through his pockets and pulled out a bat and a baseball. "...I'm not even going to ask how these fit into my pockets," Jessie says as he tossed the baseball into the air and gripped his bat tightly as he batted the ball over to Clyde, who ducked as the baseball sailed past his head.

"Ha! You missed-Agh!" Clyde mocked before screaming in pain as Jessie suddenly appears in front of him and knocked him to the floor with his bat as Jessie then hits Clyde a couple of times until the bat broke as he took a few steps back.

"Hm, that's weird. I feel like something other than my health depleted, probably my PP...he, he, that's still funny to say." Jessie thought to himself amusedly.

"Way to wipe that stupid smile off his face, Douchebag," Cartman says, snapping Jessie out of his thoughts, as he glanced at Clyde and winced as he saw the poor boy covered in bruises and blood, but thankfully was still alive as he whimpered in the floor. "Now...do it one more time. Finish him!"

"W-What!? I was going easy on him! T-Take this, new kid!" Clyde shouted shakily as he stood up and ran over to Jessie. "Suck it!" Clyde yells as he swiped at him weakly, and Jessie dodged it with ease as Clyde went back to his spot and panted heavily as he places his hands on his knees. Taking pity on him, Jessie zooms over to Clyde at fast speeds as he raised his sword...and tapped him gently on his chest as Clyde fell on the floor and finally succumbs to his injuries as he cried.

"Ha, ha, ha! Dude, that was awesome! You were all like, BRAMMGMG! And Clyde was all like, 'AGHG NOO!' Ha, ha, ha!" Cartman laughed loudly as Jessie glared at him before helping Clyde stand up as Butters grabbed him and walked him over to the medical tent to heal him as Cartman calmed down and composed himself as he gave Jessie a serious look. "Okay, okay. You've proved yourself worthy, Douchebag. Now, come inside the war tent, and I shall let you see the relic." Cartman says as he grabbed Jessie's arm and dragged him into the war tent.

"Well, here it is. The reason why humans and elves are locked in a never-ending war. The relic for which humans and elves are willing to die...The Stick of Truth!" Cartman yelled while pointing at a marvel podium as Jessie looked over it expectantly...before deadpanning as he saw an average-looking stick placed in a red cushion. "Just two days ago, we took the Stick of Truth from the elves. Our kingdom was dying, but now it thrives. For whoever controls the Stick...controls the universe."

"So, whichever group possesses the Stick of Truth is basically God, right?" Jessie asked as Cartman nodded.

"Exactly, but don't gaze at it too long! For its power is too much for mere mortals to look at!" Cartman exclaimed dramatically as Jessie nods and turned around as Cartman leads him out of the tent. "Now that you've seen the Stick of Truth, let's discuss your dues." Eric says as Jessie blinks in surprise.

"Excuse me?"

"Being a member of my kingdom costs 9.95 the first week, 4 of which is tax-deductible-,"

"Wait, wait, wait. Not only do I have to pay for weapons, but I have to pay to play with you guys? Fuck that! I rather play with the elves!" Jessie says as he was about to walk away but was stopped by Cartman as he gave him a pleading look.

"Okay, okay, how about 5.95?" He asked as Jessie gave him a disbelieving look.

"Are you serious, dude?"

"Okay, then, how about-"

"ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!"

"Someone sounded the alarm!" Cartman shouted, stating the obvious, as Butters ran into the tent with an alarmed look on his face.

"ALARM! ALARM! ALARM!"

"What is it?"

"The elves are attacking!" Butters yells panickily as Cartman gasped.

"Oh my god! Defensive positions!" Cartman yells before running out of the tent as the boys follow after him, and Jessie's eyes widen in surprise as he saw a large group of kids, wearing fake elf ears and elf-like clothes, gathering around the fence leading into the backyard and were led by a blonde kid as he took out his bow, and aimed a toy arrow at them. "Man the gates! Don't let them through!"

"Give us the Stick, humans!"

"Fuck you, Drow Elf! Come and get it!" Cartman shouted as the blonde kid narrowed his eyes and fired his arrow as it made its way to Cartman's heart, but Jessie manages to save the Grand Wizard as he grabs the arrow in mid air and snaps it in half as everybody stared at him with surprised looks on their identical, minus Cartman, faces. "Thanks for the safe, Douchebag," Cartman says to Jessie before turning to Clyde, who had somehow healed from the injuries that Jessie gave him. "CLYDE! GUARD THE STICK OF TRUTH WHILE WE DEFEND THE FORTRESS!"

"Aye, aye!" Clyde says before walking away as Cartman watched him go in confusion.

"Aye, aye? We're not playing PIRATES, Clyde!" Cartman yelled in annoyance as he turned back to Jessie and gave him a serious look. "Douchebag, this is your chance to prove yourself. HOLD OFF THE ASSHOLE ELVES AT ALL COSTS!" Cartman ordered angrily as Jessie nodded determinedly.

"Got it, Wizard," Jessie says while saluting him playfully as the elves finally enter the backyard, and an intense battle rang out as Jessie glanced around the battlefield and saw an elf with a sword fighting against Butters as the paladin struggled to block his attacks.

"Butters? BUTTERS! YOU'RE LOSING! STOP LOSING!" Cartman shouted while sitting on the sidelines as Butters blocked a sword strike with his hammer and turned to the Grand Wizard.

"But I don't want to make them feel bad!" Butters shouted as the elf noticed that he was distracted and used the opportunity to rush towards him as he was about to knock the paladin out when, suddenly, Jessie appeared out of nowhere and blocked the attack with his own sword as he smirked at the surprised elf.

"Mind if I cut in?" Jessie quipped before pushing him off as he charged towards and sliced his chest, 'killing' him as two elves showed up, one with a sword and the other with a bow and arrow as they surrounded him. "Two against one? Don't you think that's a little unfair?" Jessie asked with a grin as the elves glared at him hatefully.

"Do it, Douchebag! Kick these elves' asses!" Cartman shouted.

"Got it, but my name is still not Douchebag!" Jessie yelled at him, annoyed as Archer Elf noticed that he was distracted and took advantage by shooting two arrows at him as Jessie barely manages to catch one of the arrows but missed the other one as it grazed his stomach, and he winced as he fell on his knees. "Was that arrow covered in barbed wire!? Shit, it's going to take a few minutes for this to heal. What a pain." Jessie thought to himself with a groan as he held his wounded stomach.

"You're wounded, Douchebag!"

"Thank you, Captain Obvious!" Jess snapped back sarcastically as Cartman ignored his sarcasm and pulled out a bag of cheesy poofs.

"This magic potion will heal you! Catch!" Cartman yelled while tossing over the bag as Jessie caught it without looking and stared at it, confused. Noticing him urging him to eat it, Jessie shrugs as he opens the bag and ate a few poofs as a green aura covered his body, and Jessie gasped as he felt his wound healing at a fast rate.

"Whoa, holy shit! Normally, with a wound like this, it takes me about five minutes to completely heal, but whatever this thing its made of, it speeds up my healing factor tenfold! I'm definitely going to save this for later." Jessie thought to himself in amazement while pocketing the cheesy poofs as he turned to Cartman for an explanation.

"We have an assortment of potions that grant you different abilities like healing, giving you an extra turn, curing illness, etc. The rules say you can have one potion every turn. I asked for five, but this was the compromise." Cartman says as Jessie nods and focuses back on the battle as Sword Elf glared at him. "This guy's fast, Douchebag. Try to block all of his attacks." Cartman says as Jessie nodded and stood in a fighting stance as Sword Elf charged at him.

"Suck it!" Sword Elf shouted as he swiped at him multiple times, and Jessie blocked all of his sword strikes with ease as he knocked his sword out of his hands, and the elf fell down. After a few seconds, Jessie noticed that the elf didn't move from his spot as he looked over his shoulder and seemed to be waiting for something as the blue-haired boy watched on awkwardly, and Cartman see this, so he decided to explain.

"Okay, if you block all the attacks, you get to counterattack. Look at your enemy on the ground, weak and helpless...KICK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM!" Cartman shouted as Jessie shrugged and hits the elf with the butt end of his sword as the Sword Elf grabbed his weapon and went back to his spot. "Awesome! You kicked his helpless ass. Now finish off the elves in the name of the Wizard King." Eric says as Jessie nodded and gripped his wooden sword tightly as Sword Elf charged at him again.

"Die, asshole!" Sword Elf shouted as he swiped at him, but Jessie manages to block him as he bends down and tripped up the Sword Elf as the blue-haired boy then used his body as a springboard and leaped towards the Archer Elf, who shot an arrow at him as Jessie swat it away with his sword, and then pulled out another baseball hat as he used it to knock the elf out. "You bastard!" Sword Elf shouted as he tried to slice off Jessie's head, but the blue-haired reacted quickly as he grabbed the sword and broke it in half as Jessie punched him down, and the elf boy got knocked out.

"Great job, Douchebag!" Cartman says as Jessie nodded and was about to go over to help Scott, but stopped as he noticed Butters gesturing at the loot and the bow and quiver that the elves dropped. Nodding, Jessie went over to the knocked-out elves as he rummaged through their pockets and stole their loot while also grabbing the elf's bow and quiver as he ran over to help Scott.

"Doesn't anyone know how to fight in this kingdom?" An annoyed Jessie asked himself with a sweatdrop while watching a couple of elves beating the living shit out of a knocked-out Scott as he shakes his head and walked over to elves as Jessie grabbed one by his shoulders and threw him off as he landed a few feet away with a pained grunt.

"What the hell?" An Archer Elf says as he and a Sword Elf noticed Jessie's presence and stood in fighting stances as Jessie did the same.

"On guard!" Sword Elf says as he pulled out his sword and switched it to his other hand as he held it like a fencer would and Archer Elf fires an arrow at the new kid, who blocked it with ease as Jessie narrows his eyes at the Sword Elf suspiciously.

"What are you waiting for, Douchebag? That guy's just standing there. Go kick his ass!" Cartman says with a mischievous smirk as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him but complied with his orders as he ran over to Sword Elf and swiped at him...only to gasp in surprise as Sword Elf not only managed to block his strike with ease but also managed to slice his chest as Jessie grunted in pain and fell down as he clutched his chest.

"Ha, ha, ha! Aw, man, he was totally waiting for you, dude. You can't just hit him like that." Cartman says as Jessie glared at him but didn't say anything as he continued clutching his chest. "You need to try a different tactic to damage him. Look at that Archer, hiding behind his friend like a wuss. Switch to your arrows and snipe that little bitch." Eric says as Jessie grabs his bow and pulls out one of his arrows from his quiver as he aimed at the surprised Archer Elf. "Sweet, now you can hit the guy in the back. Go for the pink mist!"

"Sure...even though I have no idea what that means," Jessie says as he drew back his bow and fired as the arrow sailed through the sky at fast speeds and hits the Archer Elf's chest as it knocked him back and sends him flying to the ground as he got knocked out. "Oops, maybe I should be more careful with how much force I throw the arrow." Jessie thought to himself with a wince as Cartman cheered.

"Yeah, bitch! That's what you get for fucking with the Wizard King!" Carman shouted as Sword Elf held his sword like a baseball bat and glared at Jessie. "Careful, Douchebag! That guy is ready for your arrows now. You gotta try something else."

"On it!" Jessie says as he pulls out his baseball and also his bat as the superhuman boy then charged over to the elf and threw his baseball at him. Sword Elf reacted quickly as he swatted the baseball away, but it turned out to be a distraction as Jessie leaps towards him and slams his bat over his head as the elf was instantly knocked out and dropped on the floor.

"Great job, Douchebag!" Carman praised as Jessie nodded and looted the elve's stuff. Pocketing some money into his pockets, Jessie turns around and felt his blood boil in anger as he saw the last group of elves beating up poor Prince Karen, who struggled to fight back against them as an enraged Princess Kenny can be seen beating up various elves and trying to get to her little brother as she was displaying an uncanny level of combat prowess for someone so young.

"Hey! Leave that poor kid alone!" Jessie shouted while charging at them as he swiped at Warhammer Elf, only to be blindsided by an elf wearing body armor and a bicycle helmet, as a grunting Jessie landed on the ground, but quickly recovers as he stood up and went into his fighting stance as a Warhammer Elf and Armored Elf surrounded him as they glared at him.

"Let's do this, Douchebag!" Cartman shouted as Warhammer Elf held his weapon like a baseball bat, which Jessie found out was called, 'Riposting', thanks to Butters, while Armored Elf pulled out a shield made out of small wooden planks held together by duck tape and held it in front of him defensively.

"Okay, that guy has a shield. Shields are super weak. Just hit them with your simplest hit over and over to wear them down quickly." The Grand Wizard explains as Jessie nodded and rushed over to Armored Elf as he swung his sword at him and knocked the elf off his balance while cracking his shield as Jessie leaps towards him and punched him through his shield as Armored Elf fell down and slowly went unconscious.

"Hell yeah, that's how you do it! The other elf let his guard down! Now's your chance. Power attack his armor!"

"With pleasure," Jessie says with a smirk as he ran over to Armored Elf and swung at him at fast speeds as Armored Elf grunted in pain and tried to block his strikes, but failed as Jessie stabbed one of his legs and Armored Elf screamed in pain as he fell to his knees.

"That's it! Finish him!" Eric shouted as Jessie narrowed his eyes and pulled out his baseball bat as the blue-haired child then leaps towards the elf and let out a battle cry as he swung his bat at him. Armored Elf's eyes widen as Jessie manages to break through his armor, and the elf coughed out blood as he was sent flying through the air and crashed into his comrades as he knocked them down, and they moaned in pain.

"Nice work, Douchebag!" Cartman cheered.

"You're welcome, Grand Wizard," Jessie says, but then flinched as he spotted two elves trying to go over to attack him, only to be knocked out by Princess Kenny as she swoops in and slammed them on the back of their heads with her mirror as they crashed down into the ground. "Whoa, thanks, Princess."

"Mmm mmm mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmm, mmm (Thank you for helping out my Brother, cutie)," Princess Kenny says with a wink while going over to help out a sniffling Prince Karen as Jessie sweat dropped awkwardly, feeling weirded out by Kenny flirting with him, but didn't say anything about it as Jessie then turned to the last remaining elves and pointed his wooden sword at them with a cocky smirk.

"Anybody else wants some?" Jessie asked as the leader of the elves glared at him and was about to order his men to attack the new kid, only to stop as a small elf whispered something into his ear, and he smirked as he turned to his men.

"DROW ELVES! FALL BACK! FALL BACK, I SAY!" The Leader shouted as he and the elves retreated as Cartman smirked smugly.

"YES! Awesome, dude!" Cartman cheered while giving the New Kid a celebratory pat on the back, but Jessie didn't respond to it as he stared at the fleeing elves suspiciously, wondering why they decided to retreat until he saw a guilty-looking Clyde coming out of the war tent as Jessie connected the dots and groans. "TAKE THAT, YOU ASSHOLE ELVES! BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME! NA NA NA NAAAA NA! WE STILL CONTROL THE UNIVERSE! HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA, HA!"

"It's gone." Clyde says bluntly as Cartman's mocking laugh was cut off, and he slowly turned to Clyde with a disbelief look.

"What?"

"The Stick of Truth. The elves got it."

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"...THAT WAS YOUR ONE GODDAMNED JOB, CLYDE! TO GUARD THE STICK OF FUCKING TRUTH!" Cartman screamed at Clyde in outrage as Jessie winced from the yell and covered his ears as Cartman stepped back and took deep breaths before turning back to Clyde as he glared at him. "Clyde...you are hereby...BANISHED FROM SPACE AND TIME!" Cartman shouted as Jessie's eyes widen in shock.

"What!? Grand Wizard, I know that Clyde screwed up, but isn't banishing him from the game kind of cruel?" Jessie asked as Cartman shook his head stubbornly.

"No! Clyde had fucked up too bad this time, and he needs to pay!" Cartman shouted before turning to Clyde as he pointed his staff at his chest. "Clyde, from this point on, you're not allowed to set foot on Kuppa Keep ever again!" Cartman yelled as Clyde grew angry and glared at him.

"That's not fair! You can't do that!"

"Yeah, I can! You're banished and lost in time and space!"

"Yeah! Go home, Clyde!" Butters shouted as Clyde grumbled and angrily took off his helmet and cape as he threw them to the ground, and stormed off.

"You fought bravely on the battlefield, Douchebag." Cartman praised, but Jessie wasn't listening to him as he was staring at the walking form of Clyde worriedly.

"Yeah, this new kid may be a douchebag, but he sure can fight," Scott says while waking up from his unconsciousness as Jessie glared at him for his unintentional insult.

"Shut up, Scott. Nobody cares what you think." Cartman says to Scott rather rudely before turning to Jessie. "Anyway, we have a bigger problem now! The Stick of Truth has been stolen, and we must assemble our ENTIRE army in order to get it back."

"But our three best warriors still haven't reported for duty, my king!" Butters interrupted.

"Our newest member will take care of that," Cartman says as Jessie blinks in surprise.

"I will?" Jessie asked as the Wizard nodded and pulled him away from the group as he pulled out his phone and begins texting.

"Douchebag, I want you to go out into the neighborhood and find my greatest warriors: Tolkien, Tweek, and Craig. I am texting their pictures to your personal inventory device now..." Cartman says while putting away his phone as Jessie's phone ringed, and he pulled out as he saw the pictures of the boys that he was supposed to find for Cartman as well as their home addresses. "But beware...the lands outside are full of marauding drow elves, monsters, and sixth graders. Be sure you are well-equipped before you head out. Now, go! And, send my warriors here!" Cartman yells before walking away as he passed by Butters. "Butters, go with him," Cartman ordered as Butters nodded, and Cartman disappeared into his war tent.

Once the Wizard disappeared into his chamber, another alert appeared on his phone as Jessie pulled it out and saw that he had leveled up to Level 2 as he also saw a tab marked abilities. Tilting his head confusedly, Jessie pressed on the tab and saw a list of five powers, three of which he hasn't unlocked yet for some reason as one of them was named Assault and Battery, which was to distract an opponent by throwing a baseball in the air and smashing the enemies face while they're not looking. And another ability was named 'Roshambo,' which was for Jessie to offer a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors to his opponent, and in the middle of the game, Jessie will suddenly kick their balls so hard that they will be too stunned to retaliate once he attacks him. Curious, Jessie noticed that he could upgrade one of his abilities, so after debating about it, Jessie decided to upgrade his Assault and Battery as it now increased its damage. Smiling, Jessie puts away his phone as he walked up to the armory to stock up and was surprised to see Scott taking over the shop.

"Guess I'm minding the shop now," Scott says, noticing Jessie's surprised look as he was sharpening Clyde's old sword. "You need any weapons or armor?" Scoot asked as Jessie nodded and looked over the inventory.

"Hmmm, ooh! That looks good!" Jessie says while eyeing a realistic-looking sword named 'Warrior's Scimitar' excitedly. "That looks WAY better than this piece of crap," Jessie says while tossing his wooden sword away as he pulled out his wallet and handed him the money to pay for it as Jessie grabbed the sword and was about to walk away but stopped as he spotted Clyde's helmet and blue cape placed on the table. "Hey, can I buy those too? I'm getting sick of wearing this sweaty headband." Jessie says while taking off his sweaty headband as Scott nods.

"Of course, dude. The helmet cost about 5.00, and the cape cost about 3.00. But since you saved us earlier from the elves, I will give them to you for free." Scott says while handing him the items as Jessie smiled. "Just don't tell the Grand Wizard," Scott says with a wink as Jessie nodded and puts on his new helmet.

"Thanks, Scott," Jessie says while putting on his new cape as he then sold all of the junk that he collected all morning to Scot, accumulating about 16.00 as Jessie puts away his cash and was about to leave, but stops as he spotted an orange flag with a bike horn taped into it. "What's this?" Jessie asked while staring at it curiously as Butters walked up to it and notice his confusion, so he decided to explain.

"That's a Fast Travel Flag. If you honk the horn Timmy, a member of our group, will show up and give you a free ride anywhere in South Park." Butters explained as Jessie nodded understandably.

"Good to know. Anyway, let's go and complete this quest." Jessie says as he walks off, and Butters followed him as they entered the kitchen and were greeted by Cartman's mother.

"You kids, be careful now." Liane says as the kids nod.

"We will, Miss Cartman," Jessie says while raiding her cabinets as Liane smiled sweetly.

"My Eric sure does have a lot of friendly playmates. He's such a nice boy."

"Yeah...very nice," Jessie says with a sweatdrop before finding a small red teacup as he stared at it unimpressed and was about to leave it behind but stopped as Butters spoke up.

"Ooh, you found a Speed Potion! If you drink it, it will allow you to have a second turn." Butters explained as Jessie nodded and grabbed the cup as he ran off to raid the rest of Cartman's house as he found his garage key, a fake goatee, and some change. Running up the stairs, Jessie walked into the first room he sees, which turned out to be Cartman's room, as Butters glanced around nervously.

"Uh, this is the King's room. I don't think we're supposed to be here. What exactly are you looking for?"

"Oh, you know stuff," Jessie says while stealing most of Cartman's toys and, strangely enough, his underwear as Butters smiled.

"Wow, Eric has a lot of cool stuff," Butters says as Jessie nodded while raiding Cartman's closet.

"Yeah, he sure does," Jessie says while closing the closet as he and Butters left the room and entered Liane's room as Jessie walked up to one of the cabinets and opened the drawer as he gasped. "Whoa!" Jessie yells with a massive blush on his face as he saw that the drawer was full of dildos of all shapes and sizes.

"What's wrong? What do you see?" Butters asked curiously as Jessie quickly closes the drawer and turns around with an innocent smile.

"N-Nothing," Jessie says with a nervous laugh as Butters tilted his confusedly but nodded as Jessie sighs in relief and deadpans as he saw Liane's desk covered with all sorts of drugs and a huge bottle of lube. "...Now, I can see why Cartman has problems." Jessie thought to himself with a sweatdrop as Butters spoke up.

"This is where the magic happens. Last week, Cartman's mom was here with a few men, having a lot of magic. She was doing hand magic and butt magic." Butters explained as Jessie blinks at what he said in disbelief before shaking his head as he rummages through Liane's nightstand and found her underwear as well as some purple dye and a blunt black wig as he pocketed them. "We should get back at the quest at hand, my lord." Butters reminded him as Jessie nodded.

"Don't worry, Butters, we will," Jessie says while dying his shirt purple as he turned to him. "But first, let's go, and stea-I mean 'borrow' more stuff from Cartman's garage," Jessie says while pulling out Eric's garage key as Butters nodded, and they left the room. A few seconds later, we see the kids walking out of Cartman's house as they were about to enter his garage when suddenly, Jessie's phone rings, as he pulled it out and saw that he got a Facebook quest from Miss Cartman as well as getting two new Facebook messages from Kenny and Clyde. Kenny's message was him telling everyone to leave a like if they thought he was the fairest maiden in all the land as he received 15 likes and a comment from Cartman saying that he doesn't have to keep posting that message every single day.

"Princess Kenny is quite vain, isn't he?" Jessie asked Butters with a raised eyebrow as the paladin nodded and winced as he pointed at his phone. Confused, Jessie looks down at his phone and frowned as he saw that Clyde left a rather nasty message on his Facebook page saying, 'Fuck you, new kid! Things were going fine until you showed up! I'll get you back for this, I swear!'. "What did I do? I wasn't the one that banished him." Jessie says with an irritated look as Butters placed his arm on his shoulder.

"Clyde is just angry. Just ignore him." Butters says as Jessie sighs but nodded as they went over to Cartman's garage, and Jessie unlocks it as it opens to reveal...

"Ooh! Another Chinpokomon!" Jessie says excitedly while grabbing the penguin Chinpokomon as Butters stared at it in awe.

"Those are Holy Icons from the Orient. Legend has it that he who can collect enough will be rewarded."

"Duly noted," Jessie says while pocketing the toy as he spotted a small bag and rummaged through it as Jessie found a fake wizard beard and some grey dye. Putting on the beard and dying it dark blue, Jessie then dyes his shirt gray before heading off into the street as they walked past Butters's house and saw a small kid hanging out in his front yard. The kid is a 7-year-old boy with black eyes, short curly red hair, a small nose, freckles on his cheeks, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of an olive-tan sweater with a little dragon embroidered on the chest, black-rimmed glasses, blue trousers, and black shoes. His name is Dougie O'Connell, although he is also known as General Disarray, Butters's 'evil' sidekick.

"Hey, Butters. Who's the new kid?" Dougie asked while pointing at Jessie as Butters walked up to him.

"He's my friend, and level 2 Warrior, Jessie Gladstone. Jessie, this is Dougie. My evil side-I mean my squire on the slide." Butters says as Jessie raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"On the slide?"

"The Wizard King says I'm too ginger to be one of the humans," Dougie says as Jessie frowns but didn't say anything as Butters wished Dougie goodbye and leads Jessie to his house as he held out his hands dramatically.

"Behold! The residence of Butters the merciful!" Butters exclaimed as Jessie looks around the average-looking house and saw a woman reading a book on the couch. The woman is a 35-year-old female with black eyes, shoulder-length blonde hair, a long slim face with a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slender hourglass figure, and her outfit consisted of a maroon sweater, a calf-length purple skirt, and black shoes. Her name is Linda Scotch, Butters' mother.

"Hey, Mom, look, I made a new friend. He's a new kid who moved into town." Butters says, introducing Jessie to his mom as the young boy smiled at Linda and held out his hand.

"It's nice to meet you, Butters Mom. My name is Jessie Gladstone. My parents and I just moved in next door." Jessie says politely as Linda puts down her book and shakes his hand as she smiled at Jessie sweetly.

"Oh, I heard. It's nice to finally meet you, and I hope we get to meet your parents soon. Also, I hope that my son isn't giving you too much trouble. Besides how rebellious he is, Butters really is a very sweet boy. I hope you'll treat as you would a normal child."

"Uh, okay?" Jessie says as Linda smiled and went back to her back as Jessie leans into Butters's side. "What was that about?"

"I don't know," Butters says with an oblivious smile as Jessie eyes him confusedly.

"Ah, this must be the new kid." A man says while walking into the room as the kids turn to him. The man is a 36-years-old male with black eyes, brown hair in a style similar to a grown-out crew cut, a big nose, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a drab, olive-green shirt, a distinctive white tie, blue jeans, and black sneakers. His name is Stephen Scotch, Butters's father.

"We're playing, Dad," Butters says as his father smiled.

"Good for you." Stephen says before pulling out his phone as he glanced over at Jessie. "You Facebook me right away if Butters does something he should be grounded for."

"Uh...okay?" Jessie says with a hesitant frown as Stephen nodded and walked away as his phone rang, and Jessie pulled it out to see that he got three Facebook requests from Dougie and Butters's parents, which the young boy accepted as he got another alert saying that he had a new perk.

Not knowing what it was, Jessie clicked on the Perk tab as he saw a selection of different perks that will aid him in combat, and after looking at all of them carefully, Jessie decided to pick the 'Protect My Balls' icon to take greatly decrease damage from foes when he's critically injured as he also noticed that he needs 5 more friends to get another perk. Satisfied, Jessie hid his phone in his pockets as he went off to explore Butters's house as Jessie collected a lot of random junk and change from Butters's kitchen and living room before running upstairs as he entered Butters's room.

"Welcome to my room!" Butters exclaimed as Jessie looks around and noticed how basic Butters' room looks but didn't say anything as he walked over to a drawer and found a key marked Chaos Lair Key as Jessie pocked it and walked over to Butters's nightstand as he opened it, and saw a picture of an extremely pretty girl.

"Whoa, who's this?" Jessie asked as Butters glanced at the photo and winced as he down sadly.

"That's Lexus. She's a Raisins Girl, and she was my girlfriend." Butters says as Jessie's eyes widen.

"Wait, you mean to tell me that you bagged her?" Jessie asked while pointing at the picture as Butters nodded, and he smiled. "That's great, man. So, uh, you wouldn't mind if I ask if your girl has any friends for me to 'hang out' with?" Jessie asked suggestively as Butters frowned.

"She broke up with me." Butter says sadly as Jessie's eyes widen and looked away awkwardly.

"Oh...uh...sorry about that, man," Jessie says as Butters sighs and nods.

"It's fine, Jessie. I got over her after a while." Butters says as Jessie nodded and placed the picture of Lexus back on his nightstand as Jessie went over to Butter's closet and opened it as he cocked an eyebrow.

"Hey, what's that?" Jessie asked while pointing at the picture of Butters wearing Mexican clothes and a big sign on top saying, 'Dias De Mantequilla' as Butters smiled.

"Oh, I got that when I was playing Texans and Mexicans with my friends. Long story short, I got lost in Mexico and became the 'Leader of the Mexicans'." Butters explains as Jessie stared at him in disbelief.

"No way," Jessie says as Butters raised an eyebrow at him and slowly raised his hands. "Dude, what are you-," Jessie says before shutting up as he started hearing Mexicans from all around the world chanting something he couldn't quite hear, and slowly turned to Butters with his jaw dropped. "No way." Jessie says in awe as Butters smirked and put down his hands as the Mexicans stopped chanting.

"Told you," Butters says smugly as Jessie shakes his head amusedly and closes the closet as Jessie spotted a Monkay Chinpokomon toy and grabbed it as he and Butters then left the room and entered Butters parents' room as Jessie stole another key for Butters garage, and walked out as they entered the bathroom. Rummaging through the cabinets with the finesse of a professional thief, Jessie found more random junk, some pink dye, and, strangely enough, a bottle marked 'Butters Creamy Goo' as Jessie stares at it confusedly and turned to Butters.

"Hey, Butters, what's this?" Jessie asked while showing him the bottle as Butters's face paled at the sight of it.

"Uh, you should probably put that down."

"Why?" Jessie asked as Butters shrugs.

"Don't know, but my parents were really sour with me when they found out that I've been selling the weird white goo that my pee-pee sometimes shoots out to my friends," Butters explains as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him.

"Weird white goo?" He asked as Butters nodded.

"Yeah, sometimes when I got to my bed, I have these weird dreams of girls kissing me, and the next thing I know, I wake up with my sheets wet with white goo. I think my Dad calls it cum." Butters says with a smile as Jessie blinks at him slowly and turned to look at the bottle before looking back at Butters as his face paled, and he drops the bottle.

"Eww! Fucking gross man!" Jessie screamed in disgust as he ran over to the sink and washed his hands thoroughly as he glared at Butters. "That's so fucking disgusting, Butters! Why would you sell your friends your semen!?" He asked as Butters tilted his head confusedly.

"What's semen?"

"I...uh...ask your parents." Jessie says with a massive blush on his face as he walked out of the bathroom, and Butters followed after him.

"I tried, but they refuse to tell me anything. What's cum?"

"I am not having this conversation with you, Butters." Jessie says while running down the stairs with Butters as they reached the front door and walk outside.

"Can you at least tell me what's semen?" Butters asked as Jessie groaned and rubbed his temples in frustration as he went to Butters's garage and found a pair of bear gloves in a chest, but couldn't put them on as he had to wait to be Level 4.

"Look, man, how about you help get this Chinpokoman off the tree and forget this conversation ever happened," Jessie says while walking out of the garage as he pointed at the Chu-chu Nezumi Chinpokomon that was still stuck on the tree.

"Sure, just use your bow to knock it out of the tree."

"Oh, good idea." Jessie says while grabbing his bow as he pulls out an arrow from his quiver and aimed it at the Chinpokomon toy as Jessie pulled back his string and fires as the arrow knocked the toy out of the tree. "Nice!" Jessie says while running over to grab the toy as he turned to Butters. "Alright, let's go to our quest. Let's see which kid we should find first." Jessie says while pulling out his phone as he checked the map. "Okay, Craig's house is down the street, so let's find him first."

"Got it," Butters says as he and Jessie walked down the street and came across a barrier that Jessie nonchalantly breaks it down as they continued walking and found another Fast Travel Flag. Jessie honked it as the sounds of running horses could be heard, and he looked ahead to see a kid in an electric wheelchair riding towards him with a fake horse tied to the front and a wagon attached to the back. The kid is a ten-year-old boy with a deformed head at the top, black eyes, strawberry blonde hair, a small nose, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and his outfit consists of a green shirt with a brown hat, blue pants, and black shoes. His name is Timmy Burch.

"Timmy!" Timmy exclaimed as he drove up to Jessie and handed him a map showing all the Fast Travel Flag placed around the city of South Park, but since the only Fast Travel Flag that he found was in Cartman's house, Jessie told him that he will summon him another time, and Jimmy rode off.

"Come on, my lord, Craig's house is up ahead," Butters says as Jessie nodded and continued walking but then stopped as four elves burst out of a snowman and surrounded them.

"These lands hold many dangers, new kid." Archer Elf says as Jessie and Butters pulled out their weapons and glare at the elves determinedly as Sword Elf sneered at them.

"Yeah, you moved to the wrong realm!"

"Nice hair, douchebag." Shield Elf says sarcastically as Jessie glared at him hatefully and gripped his sword tightly.

"Butters...he's mine," Jessie says angrily as Butters nodded, and the boys stood in a fighting stance as the elves attack.

"Take this!" Sword Elf shouted as he rushed at him and swiped at him as Jessie blocked his attack, and they glared at each other as Butters threw his hammer between them, and they jumped back as Jessie gave Butters a grateful look, and he nodded.

"Feel my wrath!" Shield Elf yelled as he increased his armor and charged at Jessie, who narrowed his eyes as he blocked his hammer attack and grunted as the elf smacked him in his stomach with his shield and went back to his spot as Jessie held his bruised stomach in pain.

"You're hurt! This looks like a job for Paladin Butters!" Butters says as he went over to Jessie and patted his back as he smiled at him. "Yeah, that's it, little buddy." Butter says gently/warmly as Jessie blinks in surprise but smiled at his kind words as a green aura covered his back and felt his health restored as Butters went back to his spot and panted tiredly. "Hoo, I'm beat! I better wait a turn before I do any more healing." Butters says as he pulled out his hammer and charges at Sword Elf as he raised his sword in the air for a few moments before bringing it down on his face as Butters knocked him out cold with a loud smack.

"Damm, Butters," Jessie says, mildly impressed with Butter's swing as Arrow Elf noticed that he was distracted and smirked as he pulled out two arrows and fired them at Jessie, who reacted quickly as he dropped his sword and caught both arrows as he grinned at the surprised elf. "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on-Aah!" Jessie says before screaming in pain as Archer Elf fired another arrow at him and sailed towards him as it cuts his forearm, and he fell on his knees as he dropped the arrows.

"Jessie, you're bleeding!" Butters yelled as Jessie glanced at the cut and sighs in relief that the arrow only grazed him, but it will take about 2 minutes to heal. "It looks bad. Here, take some of this magic cure potion!" Butters says while tossing over a water bottle as Jessie snatched it and took a sip of it as his wounds were magically healed, and he stared at his arm in amazement.

"...I really got to find out how they make magic healing food and drinks." Jessie thought to himself.

"Make sure you always carry a few potions. Just don't get grounded for raiding the apothecary's pantry as I did." Butters says as Jessie nodded absentmindedly and narrowed his eyes at Shield Elf as he grabbed his sword and ran towards him as he threw a punch at his shield, destroying it completely, as Shield Elf jumps back in shock, and Jessie used the distraction to throw a kick at him that sends him flying to the air as he crashed against the South Park sign, and fell down as he groans in pain.

"Whoa, what the fuck!?" Archer Elf screamed in fear/shock, surprised with Jessie's strength as an elf with a robe grabbed a handful of flowers from his pouch and threw it over him, and the other two elves as Butters gasped.

"Oh, hamburgers, that's Wild Power! Now their attack has gone up!" Butters says as Jessie raised an eyebrow at what he said until he saw that the elves' weapons were now glowing red and Shield Elf recovered from his attack as he stood side by side with Archer Elf, who shot more barbed arrows at Butters as the paladin manage to block it, but still got cut as Butters ran over to Magic Elf.

"By the hammers of Butters!" Butters yelled before spinning around for a bit as he threw his hammer at the Elf and knocked him out. "That was the most perfect throw I've ever seen!" Butters as Jessie nodded in agreement before narrowing his eyes at the nervously looking Shield Elf as he ran over to him and challenge him to a game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. The elf raised an eyebrow in confusion but played along as they played for a bit, until suddenly Jessie kicked him in the nuts, stunning him as he groaned and fell down as he clutched his dick in pain.

"That's for insulting my hair, asshole!" Jessie screamed at him in anger as Butters turned to him and stared at him deadpannedly.

"You weren't wrong about being sensitive with your hair." Butters says as Jessie shrugged sheepishly.

"Take this!" Archer Elf says while shooting two more arrows at Butters, who managed to block them, as he took a cure potion and ran over to Archer Elf as Butters knocked him down with his hammer, and he went unconscious.

"The pain is unbearable! Just kill me, please!" Shield Elf shouted with tears of pain rolling down his face as Jessie took pity on him and pulled out his bow as he shot an arrow at his face, 'killing' him as he fell down unconscious.

"Aw, I wanted to show mercy." Butters says, disappointed, as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him and gestures at the elves that he knocked out brutally with his hammer as Butters smiles sheepishly, and Jessie shakes his head amusedly.

"Come on, let's go find Craig." Jessie says as Butters nods, and they quickly looted from the unconscious elves as Jessie got a new Facebook message from Cartman saying, 'Clyde is banished from space and time, you guys. Nobody sits with him at lunch. I don't care what kind of fruit snacks he's sharing.' "Okay, I'm really starting to dislike Cartman." Jessie said as Butters nods, and the boys headed off as they walked past the bus stop and encounter a brown-haired girl, who Jessie later found out was named Kelly, thanks to Butters, as Jessie smiled and walked over to her. "Hi, my name is-,"

"Sorry, but we can't be friends until you have more friends." Kelly says, rather rudely, as Jessie glared at her and rolled his eyes as he walked ahead with Butters, and they entered another neighborhood. Walking past a blue house, Jessie approached an orange house as he went over to the garage and opened it as Jessie found a cure potion, a water balloon, and a monk treasure hat and pocketed them as he saw a girl standing in the front yard texting to someone, and walked over to her.

"Hey, I'm-,"

"I'm actually faster at Facebook messaging than I am at speaking. Here, this will just go a lot faster if I friend you." The girl says rudely while not looking at him as Jessie's phone ringed again, and he pulled it out to see he got a Facebook Friend Request from her, which Jessie accepted reluctantly as he found out that her name is Kelly Gardner, and left a Facebook message saying, 'There. This is way easier than talking! Anyway, I feel like you and I have a real connection.'

"Are you serious?" Jessie asked Kelly, who ignored him as he sighs tiredly and turned to Butters. "Are all girls in this town this rude?" Jessie asked as Butters shrugs and Jessie rolled his eyes as he went up to Kelly's house to loot and opened the door...only for his eyes to widen as he saw a woman, presumably Kelly's mother, standing in the middle of the living room buck ass naked as she seems to be doing naked yoga. "Whoa!" Jessie exclaimed while staring at her huge tits and hairy pussy in awe as the woman noticed him and shrieked as she slams the door shut. "Did you see what I just saw, Butters?" Jessie asked a blushing Butters, who nodded as he rubs his neck nervously.

"M-Maybe it's best that we move along before she calls the police or something," Butters suggested as Jessie nodded.

"Yeah, totally...but first," Jessie says while pulling out his phone as he opened the door and saw the woman still standing there naked with an embarrassed look on her face as Jessie quickly took a picture and closed the door before she noticed. "Quick, let's go."

"Why did you took a picture of her?"

"Stop asking questions, and let's go." Jessie says while grabbing Butter's arm as they went over to another house, which Butters explained was Clyde's house as they broke into the garage, and saw a toilet in the middle of the garage with a banner that says 'In loving memory of Betsy Donovan'. "Who is she?" Jessie asked while pointing at the banner as Butters frowns sadly.

"Oh, that's Clyde's mother. She died in the toilet when Clyde won't let the toilet seat up."

"What a...stupid way to go." Jessie says as Butters shrugged, and the blue-haired boy spotted a ladder on top of the garage as he used his bow to shoot an arrow at the ladder and it fell down as he climbed up to the roof of the garage and saw a blonde-haired boy sitting in front of the chest. "Who are you, and why are you hiding in Clyde's garage?"

"Well, who are you? And, why are you raiding his garage?"

"...Touché." Jessie says while walking over to the chest as he opened it and found some cash as well as a bear crown that he can't wear until he's Level 4.

"Hey, are you new? That means you don't know anything about me, huh?" The boy, who Butters whispered his name was Pete, says as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, but since you said that, I'm going to ignore you." Jessie says as he pouted.

"Oh...well, I'm still going to friend you on Facebook." Pete says while pulling out his phone and sending him a friend request, which Jessie accepted reluctantly as he and Butters climbed down the ladder, and left the garage as they walked down the street, and finally arrived at Craig's house as Jessie knocked on the door, and a man answered the door. The man is an incredibly tall 30-year-old man with black eyes, balding orange-red hair, a somewhat fat figure, a protruding chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consisted of a blue sweater with a white shirt underneath, brown trousers, and black shoes. His name is Thomas Tucker, Craig's father.

"Ya lookin' for Craig?" Thomas asked as the boys nodded. "Well, he can't play. He's in detention. Something about flippin' off the principal." Thomas says before closing the door as Butters turned to Jessie.

"We better get to the other guys first. I suggest that we find Tweek first." Butters says as Jessie nodded.

"Got it. Do you know where he lives?"

"Yeah, but since today is Sunday, Tweek is most likely working at his Parents' Coffee Shop. Luckily for you, I know where he is. Follow me." Butters says while turning around as he walked forward with Jessie following after him as the Duo were able to get out of the neighborhood and were able to arrive at the South Park Welcome Sign as they then started traveling down to head to the center of the city.

"It's kind of cool that Tweek's Parents work at a Coffee Shop," Jessie commented, deciding to strike up a conversation with Butters, who nodded as he glanced at him.

"Yeah, it is...hey, what do your Parents do, Douchebag?"

"Don't call me Douchebag." An annoyed Jessie says as an apologetic Butters winces and nods. "Anyway, my Parents are scientists. They work with chemicals and science and all of that jazz. Since we recently moved into South Park, my Parents haven't found a place to work, so they are working at home for now."

"Oh, neato." Butters says with a smile just as they arrived at Main Street as the Duo spotted a Police Officer standing in front of them. The Police Officer is a 35-year-old Man with black eyes, short brown hair, thin black eyebrows, large ears, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, a slightly overweight build, and his outfit consists of a traditional blue police officer's uniform with a pair of black sunshades as well as a pair of hearing aids. His name is Barbrady, South Park's Extremely Incompetent Main Police Officer. "Hey Officer, Buttbaby."

"It's Buttbrady...wait..." Officer Barbrady says stupidly as Jessie and Butters shared an amused laugh as they walked down the street and walked past a Bank as the blue-haired boy was about to go in to deposit his money but was stopped by his blonde-haired friend.

"Trust me, you don't want to deposit your money into this bank." Butters warned as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nodded while making a mental note to later text his Parents about not depositing their money into this bank as the Duo then continued and arrived on another street that had two buildings named 'Unnamed Parenthood' and 'Photo Dojo'. "This here is the Marketplace. This is where Heroes can come for Adventuering, Gear, Nosejobs, and Abortions."

"I'm sorry, fucking what?"

"Oh, look, someone's smoking." A distracted Butters says while pointing ahead as he and Jessie spotted a gingered-haired ten-year-old Girl smoking in between two buildings as the Girl noticed that she was caught and gave them a nervous look.

"Uh, let's just keep this between us, okay? Because we're such good Facebook Friends." The Girl says while smoking her cigarette as she pulled out her phone and types something in as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out, and the Young Boy pulled out his phone to see that the Girl had sent him a Friend Request, revealing her name to be Millie as Jessie raised an eyebrow but nodded.

"Alright, we will keep it between us." Jessie says with a shrug, not wanting to be a snitch as Millie gave him a thankful look before turning around to walk away and find a more secluded place to smoke as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out again, and was quick to glance down at his phone as the blue-haired boy saw that he got a friend request from Officer Barbarady and also saw that he posted a message on Facebook saying, 'DeeR Dairy, 2day I maid frenz wf a new kidd. He waz reelee niCe. I hope he likez me 2'.

"I don't think that he understands how Facebook works." Jessie says to Butters dryly just as his phone rang again as he glanced down at it and saw that he got an alert saying that he is able to get a new perk now as Jessie was quick to click on the Perk Tab and, after looking through the selection of different perks, Jessie decided to pick the 'Fight or Flight' icon so that his attacks increase damage when he is critically injured. After that was done, Jessie puts away his phone as he and Butters continued walking down the street and turned to the left to arrive near the South Park Movie Theater as the Kids gasped in awe when they realize what movie was playing correctly.

"Oh, wow! They are playing Asses of Fire 2 right now?!"

"And in 2D! This is so awesome! I can't wait to see that movie since I loved the first movie!" An excited Jessie says as a smiling Butters nodded in agreement.

"Me too! I loved their songs!"

"Oh, yeah, like...shut your fucking face, Uncle Fucker! You're a cocksucking asslicking, Uncle Fucker!"

"You're an Uncle Fucker! Yes it's true! No one fucks uncles quiet like you!" Butters sang as he and Jessie shared a joyful laugh as the Duo arrived near the Movie Theater and were about to walk past it but were stopped by the Ticket Guy, who gives them a mocking look.

"This movie is really sweet. Too bad you Kids can't see it."

"Oh, yeah?" Jessie says with an annoyed raised eyebrow while sharing a look with Butters as he then reached over to grab his hand and dragged him forward as the Duo pretended to walk away, but when the Ticket Guy wasn't looking, Jessie pulled Butters into the Movie Theatre. "Quick, let's watch the movie before we get caught." Jessie whispered-yelled to Butters just as they arrived at the Movie Theater from where Asses on Fire 2 was playing as the blue-haired boy groaned when he and the blonde-haired boy saw that the screen was black. "Aww man, we missed the movie."

"I-I think it's best that we missed the movie. It doesn't feel right to be here without paying." Butters says nervously as Jessie sighs heavily but nodded.

"Yeah, alright, let's leave. Besides, we can just see Asses on Fire 2 next weekend." Jessie says with a shrug as Butters winces and looked away as he rubbed his hands.

"I-I don't think I can see the movie."

"What? Why not?" A frowning Jessie asked as Butters looked away.

"My Parents would most likely try to ground me if I asked them to take me to watch an R-Rated Movie."

"Hmmm, well, if you want, I can convince my Parents to take you with us to watch the movie." Jessie offered as Butters stared at him in surprise.

"Wait, seriously?" A hopeful Butters asked as Jessie nodded.

"Yeah, I mean, my Parents are pretty lax about me watching R-Rated Movies. It's why I know all about sex."

"What's sex?"

"Nevermind. Anyway, I'm sure that I can convince them to take you with us." Jessie says as Butters beams and nodded as the blue-haired boy then glanced down at the ground and perks up as Jessie spotted a pair of 3D Glasses. "Ooh, 3D Glasses, I love these things." Jessie says while bending down to grab them as he puts on the 3D Glasses. "Nice, now my Fighter Outfit is complete." Jessie says heroically while placing his hands on his hips as Butters smiled amusedly.

"Hey, can you Guys keep it down? I'm trying to watch the movie." A Male Voice Rang Out as the Duo turned their heads, and Jessie raised an eyebrow while Butters flinched nervously as they spotted a Young Boy sitting on one of the seats. The Kid is a ten-year-old boy with black eyes, long wavy black hair, black eyebrows in the shape of lightning bolts, Fairly Plain Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a long-sleeved blackshirt, long plain black pants, and black shoes. His name is Damien Thorn, the Son of Satan.

"Oh, sorry about that. By the way, who are you Kid?" Jessie asked curiously with Butters quivering in fear as Damien turned to glare at him.

"I am Damien, the Antichrist, the Son of Satan, and I have never witnessed a thing as hideous and vile as the one you mortals call Rob Scheider."

"...Okay, cool." An awkward Jessie says with a sweatdrop while he and Butters scurried away as they were quick to run out of the Movie Theatre. "Okay, never going anywhere near him again." Jessie says with a shiver as he and Butters began walking down the street again while ignoring the Ticket Guy yelling at them to come back after seeing them come out of the movie theater without paying for a ticket.

"Yeah, I can't believe that someone as nice as Satan gave birth to Damien."

"Wait, what?" A bewildered Jessie asked as Butters turned to him.

"Oh, yeah, everyone in South Park had met Satan before, and he's actually a real nice guy." Butters says with Jessie staring at him incredulously, but didn't say anything as they arrived near Tweek Bros Coffe Shop and were about to walk into the shop, but then-

"Pssssst...pssst, hey over here." A male voice rang out as Jessie and Butters turned their heads as they were surprised to see a Grown Man poking his head out of the corner of Tweek Bros Coffe Shop Building as he wore goofy glasses. The Suspicious Man is a 74-year-old Male with black eyes, short slickback dark brown hair, a big nose, a fat double chin, Caucasian Skin, a tall overweight build, and his outfit consisted of a blueish gray shirt with the sleeves rolled up, a long red cape wrapped around his neck, a brown tie, a black belt with a golden belt buckle, long dark green pants, and black bowling shoes. His name is Al Gore, the 45th Vice President of the United States.

"Oh my god, I knew this situation would happen eventually. My Parents warned me of this. Butters? If he tries to touch our dicks, I will kick him in the balls and we run into Tweek's Coffe Shop. If he follows us, we would both scream 'PEDO ALERT! PEDO ALERT! PEDO ALERT!' over and over again." Jessie whispered to Butters, who nodded as they went over to Al Gore. "What do you want, dude? Also, if you try to touch us, we would scream."

"Don't worry, Kids, I'm not here to hurt either of you. It's me. Al Gore." Al Gore says while taking off his goofy goggles as Jessie raised an eyebrow at him.

"...Who?"

"The 45th Vice President of the United States."

"..."

"Come on, you have to know me. I'm Al Gore. I'm super important."

"...Sure, whatever." Jessie says with a shrug, not caring about arguing with him as his words seemed to satisfy Al Gore.

"Ah, it's great to see someone see how important I am. Anyway, I've detected some very strange activity in this area. I believe that we're dealing with...Manbearpig!" Al Gore screamed overdramatically with Butters gasping worriedly as Jessie gave him an incredulous look.

"Are you serious?" A disbelief Jessie asked, unable to believe that Butters believe such bullshit as Al Gore, misunderstanding what Jessie said, nodded to him.

"Yes, THE Manbearpig. I'm super cereal. I know that you two are scared and pissed your pants, but I need your help."

"What? I didn't piss my..." Jessie says before trailing off as his enhanced sense of smell picked up the smell of urine and turned over to see Butters giving him an embarrassed look. "...Just go in without me and clean yourself up, Butters." Jessie says deadpannedly as Butters nodded to him gratefully and went over to Tweek Bros Coffe Shop to use their bathroom to clean himself up.

"Anyway, take these and place them in the locations specified on your map." Al Gore says while taking out three tranquilizers as he handed them to Jessie. "And now, I'm going to friend you on Facebook."

"Please don't." Jessie begged, not wanting people to think that he was seriously friends with this weirdo as Al Gore ignored him and proceeds to pull out his phone and send a friend request to Jessie with the young boy's phone notification sound ranging out as Al Gore stared at him expectantly and Jessie sighs heavily as he takes out his phone and very reluctantly accepted his friend request.

"Now, this is very prestigious. You have my email now but don't give out to anybody. I'm super cereal."

"Got it. I will give out to everyone then." Jessie thought to himself with a little smirk on his face as Al Gore puts on his goofy glasses.

"Hurry! We must know if Manbearpig is here or not!" Al Gore screamed while turning around to run away as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out, and glanced down to see that Al Gore had posted a message on Facebook saying, 'Hello, my young friend! This is Al Gore! That's me, in the big profile picture! I'm talking to you now.'

"Oh, brother," Jessie says while rolling his eyes as he puts away his phone and turned around to walk into Tweek Bros Coffee Shop as he looks around and saw that the whole place resembled a Starbucks as the blue-haired boy was greeted by what seems to be the Store Owner. The Man is a 33-year-old Male with black eyes, short curly dark brown hair, thin brown eyebrows, a long pointed nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, a burgundy-red sweater with a name tag bearing 'Mr. Tweek', grayish-blue jeans, and black shoes. His name is Richard Tweak, Tweek's Father and one of the joint owners of Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse.

"Welcome to Tweek Coffee. Coffee made with ingredients supplied by local organic suppliers. It's local coffee. Brewed locally."

"Why does he sounded like he's in a commercial?" Jessie thought to himself with a raised eyebrow before shaking his head as he glanced up at him. "So, uh, I was wondering, are you Tweek's Father? Because I need to talk to him about something."

"Oh, yeah, I am his Father. Hold on, I will get him for you...TWEEEEEEK?! TWEEEEEEEEEK!?"

"AHGH!" A strangled cry rang out from the supply closet.

"Have you picked up the fresh local ingredients?!"

"AAHGHGHG! NOT YET, DAD! I'M STILL TRYING TO DO ALL OF MY CHORES!"

"Well, hurry up, Son! The family business is relying on you!"

"He's right, Son. If you don't pick up the slack, we will become broke and poor like Kenny's Family." The Young Woman standing near Richard said as Jessie assumed her to be Tweek's Mother. The Woman is a 31-year-old Female with black eyes, shoulder-length straight light brown hair, thin light brown eyebrows, a small nose, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and her outfit consists of an ankle-length turquoise dress with a white apron, and black shoes. Her name is Louise Tweak, Tweek's Mother and one of the joint owners of Tweek Bros. Coffeehouse.

"AAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHHHHGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!" Was Tweek's response to what his Parents said to him.

"Not gonna touch that." Jessie thought to himself awkwardly with a sweatdrop while walking forward as he made his way over to the Supply Door and opened it as the blue-haired boy spotted a blonde-haired boy inside. The Boy is a 10-year-old Male with black eyes, messy blonde hair, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a high-collard incorrectly buttoned navy green coat, navy blue pants, and black shoes. His name is Tweek Tweak. "Sup." Jessie says casually while walking over to Tweek, who flinched in surprise as he turned to him.

"W-Who a-are y-you?! H-How did you get i-in h-here!?" A worried Tweek asked as Jessie raised his hands in surrender.

"Calm down, dude. My name is Jessie Gladstone. I'm the New Kid in town, and I'm currently playing that Medieval Role-Playing Game that you guys are playing, and the Grand Wizard told me to recruit you to our cause because Clyde stupidly let the Elves steal the Stick of Truth." Jessie explained as Tweek flinched in surprise while spasming a bit as his eyes twitched.

"AAAAARRGGGGHHHHH! WHAT?! THE ELVES STOLE THE STICK AND NEED MY HELP!? RIGHT NOW?! THERES NO WAY, MAN! I HAVE A BUNCH OF CHORES TO DO, AND I STILL NEED TO PICK UP THE PACKAGE! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ALL OF THIS?!" Tweek exclaimed panickedly before yelping in pain as an annoyed Jessie gave him a light slap across his face.

"Dude, calm down. I got this. I will get the package for you while you do your chores." Jessie says reassuringly as Tweek rubbed his stinging cheek but perked up at what he said as he nodded.

"H-Hey, yeah! That's a good idea! If you could get the four o'clock delivery for me, then I would be able to finish my chores and still have time to play! Alright, Jessie, if you can go to Kenny's House and give them this, they would be able to give you the delivery." Tweek says while handing a white envelope to Jessie, who pocketed it as the blonde-haired boy gave him a worried look. "Wait, since your new to South Park, you probably don't know where Kenny lives, right? Do you need my help with directions?"

"Nah, don't worry, I'm with Butters, and I'm sure that he can tell me where Princess Kenny lives." Jessie says as Tweek nodded and went back to doing his chores as the blue-haired boy came out of the Supply Room and noticed Butters coming out of the bathroom as he went over to him. "You okay, dude?"

"Yeah, I was able to clean my pants enough to get rid of the stain. So, how was it recruiting Tweek the Barbarian?" Butters asked curiously.

"Oh, Tweek is busy with work but told us that if we can get the four o'clock delivery for him, he would be able to play. Do you know where Kenny lives?" Jessie asked hopefully as Butters nodded.

"Yeah, his house is pretty far away, but I know a shortcut to get there. Follow me." Butters says as Jessie nodded and the Boys got out of the coffee shop as they turned left and walked past the South Park Movie Theater and turned left to walk through the crosswalk as the Boys then turned right and arrived at what seems to be the South Park Park as Jessie and Butters made their way through it as they were about to walk through the exit, but stopped as Jessie spotted several Kindergarders standing around a basketball hoop and all of them turned to him as they smiled.

"Come play hide and seek with us. You're it." One of the Boys named Filmore says before he and the kids turned around to run away as Jessie was surprised by this before shrugging, deciding to find them later on as the Duo then walked out of the Park and walk down the sidewalk to appear at a neighborhood as Butters was about to lead to where Kenny lives, but was stopped by Jessie as he perked up at the sight of what seems to be a Furrycat Chinpokomon placed on top of the roof of a random house.

"Ooh, wait, Butters, hold on. I got to take this." Jessie says while pulling out his bow as he pulled on the bowstring and fired an arrow as it flew over to impact against the Furrycat Chinpokomon, and it fell down onto the ground, but the arrow also flew down to impact against a snowman that a random kid was making as a guilty Jessie flinched. "Oh, shit, sorry, dude,"

"No, no, trust me, I'm impressed, New Kid. You have slain the mighty frost giant. I stand in awe of you, hero." The Boy says with starry eyes while pulling out his phone as he pressed a few buttons, and Jessie's phone notification sound rang out as he was quick to pull it out and saw that the Boy had sent him a friend request, revealing him to be named Francis.

"Oh, well, okay." Jessie says with a shrug as Butters walked over to grab his arm and dragged him out of the neighborhood as they reached the edge of the city and arrived at the train tracks as the Duo walked over to what seems to be Kenny's House, which was a small bungalow and a detached garage with a broken car and an opened broken white fridge placed on the front lawn as there was a few random trashbags and animals littered around. "Oh...so Kenny's Family is poor, huh?"

"Yep, although, as a warning, I think you shouldn't pity Kenny and his Family. They hate stuff like that. Trust me." Butters warns as Jessie pursed his lips but nodded as the Duo went over to the front door and knocked on it as the door opened up, and a young woman could be seen addressing them. The woman is a 35-year-old female with black eyes, long red hair, thick red eyebrows, a small nose, a patch of filth on her right cheek, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slender build, and her outfit consists of a lime-green shirt that had an 'I'm with Stupid' message written onto it with a black arrow pointing to the right, long dark blue jeans, and black shoes. Her name is Carol McCormick, Kenny, and Karen's mother.

"What?" Carol asked with a raspy voice as Jessie wordlessly handed her the white envelope. "Ah, this isn't for me. This is for the nice people who are renting the Guest House out in the back." Carol explained while handing the white envelope back to Jessie as she also handed him the garage keys before closing the door.

"Alright, let's go, Butters." Jessie says to his companion, who nodded as they went over to the McCormick Garage and Jessie opened the door with his keys as the Duo walked in, and Jessie was surprised to see that they were standing inside what seems to be a broken-down lab filled with all kinds of chemical beakers and such with three adults currently mixing something which Jessie was pretty sure was crystal meth.

"Uh, these Witch Doctors must be cooking up a secret potion. I wonder if its a healing potion."

"Yeah, you believe that, buddy." Jessie says awkwardly while walking over to one of the Meth Heads as he coughed a bit to get their attention. "Hey, do you guys have the package?" Jessie asked nervously as one of the Meth Heads turned to him.

"Yeah, yeah, we got the package for Tweek Coffee. You got the envelope?"

"Oh, so Tweek's Parents use crystal meth for their merchandise? Damn, no wonder their kid looks and acts like a mess." Jessie thought to himself with half-lid eyes as he then handed the white envelope to one of the Meth Heads, who grabbed it as he then raised an eyebrow when he got a good look at the Kids.

"Hey...you're not the usual kid that picks up the package!"

"Huh?! Oh, shit! It's a cop!"

"What?! How does that make sense!? We're ten!" An incredulous Jessie screamed just as Meth Heads pulled out their weapons as the Meth Head holding onto a large steel pipe ran over to swipe at Jessie, who used his metal sword to block his attack as he then held out his hand and placed it on the First Meth Head's chest as his hand glowed blue and fired some kind of laser sphere-type blast that sends the screaming Meth Head flying backwards as he crashed against a wall and instantly grew unconscious as the First Meth Head crashed down into the ground.

"Shit!" Jessie thought to himself through gritted teeth, not wanting to use his Powers in front of Butters as it was a reflex, but thankfully, Butters didn't see it as he was busy using his Hammer of Justice Move and started twirling around as the blonde-haired boy tossed the hammer forwards and it flew over to impact against the only female Meth Head, breaking her nose and bruising her face as she yelped in pain.

"Butters! Look out!" Jessie warned just as the Third Meth Head pulled out a shattered bottle and tossed it over to Butters, who was barely able to avoid it as it cut his cheek, causing Jessie to see red as he turned over to glare at the Meth Head. "That's it!" Jessie screamed while pulling out his bat as he ran over to slam it against the Meth Head's legs, breaking them, as he screamed in pain and crashed down into the ground as the pissed-off blue-haired boy started slamming his baseball bat down against his head, drawing blood as he got knocked out.

"Feel my righteous fury!" Butters shouted while raising his hammer as a dark gray cloud appeared above him, and a bolt of yellow lightning rang out as it impacted against his hammer and Butters used his Hammer of Storms Move to blast a bolt of yellow lightning at the Female Meth Head that tried to sneak up onto an enraged Jessie, electrocuting her as she screamed in pain and Jessie was quick to knock her out by swinging his bat around to slam it across her head as she crashed down into the ground.

"Thanks for the assist, Butters." Jessie says to his Friend, who nodded with a smile as they went over to pick up the package and were about to leave, but Jessie stopped a bit as he realized something. "Uh, Butters, why don't you go and tell Mrs. McCormick what happened here? I have to do something real quick."

"Okey dokey." Butters says with a smile while turning around to leave the lab as, once he was gone, Jessie looked around and spotted a hole in the ceiling as the blue-haired boy remembered the 'important' mission that Al Gore gave him earlier and realized that it was best to do it anyway just in case as Jessie's blue hair flared up a bit and started floating upwards as he went through the hole on the ceiling and flew over to land on the roof of the garage as Jessie placed one of the tranquilizers on the ledge of the ceiling and, after looking down and making sure that there was no one around, the blue-haired boy jumps off from the roof as he floated over to land on the ground safely.

"Alright, that's done." Jessie says while dusting off his clothes as he made his way over to Butters, who was talking with Carol as they were too distracted by their conversation to see what Jessie has done. "Alright, Butters, I'm done let's bail."

"Neato. I just finished explaining to Kenny's Mom on what happened." Butters says as Carol nodded while drinking from a beer can.

"I'm so sorry about what they did. They seem like really nice people."

"Yeah, nice." Jessie says with a deadpan look before he and Butters walked over to honk on the Fast Travel Bag as Timmy appeared and agreed to take them near to Tweek's Coffee Shop as, once they arrived, the Duo made their way into the shop. "Hey, Tweek, we got the drugs, yo." Jessie says while he and Butters walked into the Supply Room as they spotted Tweek and his Father standing inside.

"Oh, you did it! You got the pickup! Thanks, Man!" A grateful Tweek says as he went over to grab the package out of Jessie's hands and then turned to his Father. "Dad! I finished my work! Can I go play?!"

"Where's today delivery?" Richard asked as Tweek handed him the package, and the young man was quick to open it as he tasted the contents inside. "Hm, yep, that's the good shit. Alright, Tweek, you can play for a little bit, but be home before or else you will get grounded...grounded...like the fresh grinds of our all organic Tweek blend, made with ingredients from local tweekers."

"Seriously, does he sound like he's in a commercial to you?" Jessie asked Butters, who nodded as Tweek turned to them.

"Thanks, New Kid. I gotta get changed before I will be able to head to the kingdom. See you there." Tweek says while turning around to leave the Supply Room as Jessie nodded just as his phone's notification sound rang out as he pulled his phone from out of one of his pockets and Jessie saw that he got friend requests from Carol and the whole Tweak Family, which means that he has enough friends to get a new perk as Jessie was quick to click on the Perk Tab, and, after looking through the selection of different perks, he decided to pick the 'Brain Food' icon so that he will be able to get 2 PP when using a healing item.

"Alright, now before I go, it's time to loot-I mean, find stuff." Jessie says to himself quietly while eyeing Butters and Richard nervously as he had spent the next five minutes looking around the Supply Room and was able to find a large chest as Jessie opened it after breaking off the lock and saw that the contents consisted of a Power Potion (Large) and Level 3 Friar Gloves/Robes as he pocketed them all just as his phone notification sound rang out as Jessie glanced down at it and saw that Tweek posted a message saying, 'conspiracy articles "how do you know if you're being followed" "listening devices" "who to trust" "parents in on it?" search online' and Jessie also noticed a separate message which read, 'how to satisfy your man when you have a tiny dick'.

"Uh, what?" A bewildered Jessie asked just as Tweek posted another message which said, 'AAAAHHHH! I DIDN'T MEAN TO POST ANY OF THAT?! HOW DO I DELETE THEM?' and, taking pity on the boy, Jessie posted a comment saying, 'Just press on the "more" options on each of your posts and then select "delete for everyone" and your posts should be deleted, dude' and a grateful Tweek quickly replied, 'THANKS MAN!' as his posts were promptly deleted five seconds later. "What was that about?"

"Oh, yeah, do you know one of the kids named 'Craig' that we tried to recruit? Well, he and Tweek are dating." Butters says as Jessie blinked a couple of times in shock.

"Seriously?"

"Yeah, they started dating a while back and are the power couple of our school."

"Huh, cool, good for them." Jessie says with a nod, not seeing anything wrong with two boys dating as he and Butters then walked out of the Supply Closet and made their way out of Tweek's Coffee Shop. "So, where does this Token Guy lives anyway?"

"Don't worry, Jessie, his mansion is a five-minute walk from here. Let's go." Butters says as he walks away.

"Mansion?" Jessie asked with a raised eyebrow before shrugging as he followed after Butters and they made their way up the sidewalk and arrived at what seemed to be a large white/gray gate that protected a large mansion inside as the gate had a big sign that says 'Dark Meadows'...godamn it, I love South Park LOL.

"Well, we're here."

"Oh, wow, so this Token guy is rich, huh?" A curious Jessie asked as a smiling Butters nodded.

"Yep, Tolkien is really rich." Butters says just as they arrived near Security Gate as they spotted a Security Guard standing near it.

"Oh, hey, sir, we're here to see Token-,"

"This is a gatted community, sirs. Move along." The Security Guard interrupted as Jessie raised an eyebrow and looked around as he sweatdrops.

"Uh, this doesn't seem to be a community, but whatever. Look, we're just wondering if you can call up Token or his Parents and tell them that we-OH FUCK!" Jessie says politely before screaming in surprise as the glaring Security Guard sprays pepper spray into his face, which caused him to gag from feeling the horrid smell overwhelm his super senses as Jessie took off his Helmet and 3D Glasses as he proceeds to vomit on the ground violently. "OH, FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! GODAMN IT, YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKING, ASSMUNCHING, BIG TITTY, UGLY ASS, FAT BITCH! THIS SHIT HURTS! GODAMN, MOTHER FUCKER! AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!"

"If you try again, I will pepper spray you until the stoneage." The Security Guard says sternly as Jessie was too incapacitated to say anything, and a worried Butters walked over to grab his hand as he leads him to safety.

"Ugh, god, the next time I see him, I'm going to punch him in the balls." A growling Jessie says while coming out of the bathrooms of a random store that Butters had brought him in as he was able to wash away the pepper spray from his face and was happy to see that his healing factor was able to help him regain his senses as Jessie quickly puts on his helmet and 3D Glasses as he made his way over to Butters.

"Hey, dude, you okay?"

"Y-Yeah, I'm alright. Pissed off as hell, but alright." Jessie says while rubbing his face as Butters nodded and was about to say something, but stopped as Jessie's phone notification sound rang out and was quick to pull it out as the blue-haired boy saw that Cartman had posted a message on Facebook saying, 'HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Dude someone just posted a video of you getting pepper sprayed! Hold on, I gotta watch that again...HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! It's even better when you know what's coming!'.

"That motherfucker!" Jessie screamed with his eyes glowing blue a bit in his anger as he then gasped in surprise when he saw that Butters and various people liked Eric's comment. "Butters! What the hell, dude?! Why did you like his post, you dilweed!?" Jessie asked with a harsh glare, causing Butters to flinch and the blonde-haired boy looked away sheepishly as he twiddled his thumbs.

"S-Sorry, Jessie, but Eric told me to like all of his posts or else he will beat me up." Butters says as Jessie's anger simmered a bit and sighed heavily as he puts away his phone.

"Fine, whatever, let's just go and beat up that Security Guard. Hopefully, I don't get pepper sprayed again."

"Oh, uh, well, if you don't want to get pepper sprayed, I know some place that sells gas masks that render pepper sprays totally useless."

"...I'm listening." A curious Jessie says, still miffed about what Butters did but was willing to hear him out if it means him getting revenge as, one Fast Travel Flag later, we see the Duo standing in front of a store named 'Jimbo's Guns'. "Guns, huh? I was never fond of those, but it should get the job done. Now, we just need to figure out a way to hide his body and find a way to blame Cartman for this and-,"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Jessie, while this place is called 'Jimbo's Gun', they also sell other stuff like Gas Masks. Besides, we can't kill anybody." Butters says as Jessie sighs heavily and nodded.

"Yeah, or else we will get arrested...and because its the wrong thing to do, I guess." Jessie says with a shrug as he and Butters walked into the store as the blue-haired boy looked around and saw that the store was filled with hunting equipment and supplies as well as various guns and weapons as Butters waves at the Two Men standing behind the counter.

One of the men is a 45-year-old Male with black eyes, a nearly bald head with short brown hair, thin rectangular-shaped brown eyebrows, big ears, a fat double chin with a very broad and square jawline, Caucasian Skin, a tall overweight build, and his outfit consists of an orange hat, a green vest with an orange shirt underneath, light brown trousers, and black shoes. His name is Jimbo Kern, Stan's Maternal Uncle, a Vietnam Veteran, and an Avid Gun Enthusiast.

The Second Man is a 45-year-old Man with small black eyes, messy gray-brown hair, a small gray-brown mustache/goatee, a sharp chin, his right arm was missing, Caucasian Skin, a short very skinny build, and his outfit consisting of a pair of gray sunglasses, a black headband, camouflage shirt, long light blue jeans, and brown bots. His name is Ned Gerblanski, a Vietnam War Veteran who talks through an electrolarynx and Jimbo's PLATONIC companion.

"Well, hello there, Jimbo and Ned," Butters greeted friendly as both adults turned to smile at him.

"Hi, there, Butters." Jimbo greeted back before spotting Jessie as he tilted his head curiously. "Oh, howdy there. Haven't seen you around here before. You must be the New Kid that moved to town that I heard about."

"Yep, that's me. The name's Jessie Gladstone." Jessie says with a smile and a wave.

"Well, it's good to meet you. Anyway, what brings you two here, anyway? Business or pleasure? Or is it venegence?"

"Definitely vengeance." Jessie says with a dark look on his face as Jimbo beams.

"Oh, well, you came to the right place. South Park is full of things to shoot that would delight any Taxidermist, Survivalist, or Weekend Animal Death Enthusiast. If you want to prove yourself to be a Hunter, I might be able to give you something that will help you out on it." Jimbo says while pulling out a book from behind his counter. "This is a copy of the Hunter's Guide to South Park Wildlife. You want to buy it?"

"Hmmm, how much does the book and the gas masks costs here?"

"Three and Five Bucks."

"Huh, really? Alright, I will buy both then." Jessie says while handing Eight Dollars to Jimbo, who pocketed the money as he handed him the gas mask and the book.

"Kill anything inside of that guide, and you come back to old Jimbo and Ned. The best part about hunting is bragging about it to other hunters." Jimbo says as Jessie nodded before taking off his helmet as he puts on his purchased gas mask while leaving the 3D Glasses on his face as he pocketed the book and turned around to leave the Jimbo Guns Store with Butters as they were about to leave, but then-

"Oh, you found me." A young female voice rang out as the Duo turned their heads and spotted one of the Kindergarten Kids named 'Flora' poking out of a lampost. "Sorry, I couldn't decide where to hide." Flora apologized as she then walked away.

"...Huh, I didn't notice her at all, but okay." Jessie says with a shrug as he then spotted something that made him raise an eyebrow and walked over to a set of large trashcans placed beside a bar as he spotted a man sleeping on top of them and went over to shake him awake. The Man is a 46-year-old Male with black eyes, long messy light brown hair, thin light brown eyebrows, a small nose, a light brown handlebar mustache, dirt marks on his face and clothes, a sharp chin, Caucasian Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a red cap with a black border and a yellow sign with 'SCOTCH' writing on it, light blue jacket with the sleeves going up to his elbow, a white shirt underneath, a black belt with a gray belt buckle, blue pants, and black shoes. His name is Stuart McCormick, Kenny and Karen's Father, and Carol's Husband.

"Huh?!" A surprised Stuart says while sitting up in alarm as he looks around and spotted the Kids standing near him as he sighs in relief. "Oh, wow, I guess I hit it a little hard at the bar this morning. Thanks for waking me up, New Kid. You on Facebook? Let me send you a friend request." Stuart says while pulling out his phone as he sends a friend request to Jessie, who pulled out his phone and accepted it as Jessie saw Stuart's full name, and the blue-haired boy was surprised to find out that he was Kenny's father.

"Huh, Kenny's Family is basically pushing the boundaries of a redneck family." Jessie thought to himself awkwardly as, after Stuart walked away to get to work, Jessie went to his Facebook Page and spotted that Jimbo had posted a message saying, 'Don't think you're going to have an easy time finding those beasts I told you about, New Kid' and also saw that Ned commented, 'Remember-those bastards will only come running if you offer 'em something they can't resist', and Jimbo commented, 'Oh, that's right! You'll have to use one of the items I gave you to tempt them out!'.

"I guess these two take hunting very seriously." Jessie thought to himself with a shrug as he pocketed his phone, and, one Fast Travel Flag later, we see the Duo arriving back at the Dark Meadows Gates. "Okay, Butters, wear this helmet and make sure not to say your name or mine." Jessie warns Butters while handing him the silver helmet as the confused blonde-haired boy nodded nervously and puts on the helmet with it covering half of his head as Jessie made sure that his gas mask covered his face completely, and the Duo made their way over to the Security Gate. "Hey, Bitch! Come and suck on my dick, asswipe!" Jessie screamed while grabbing his crotch and flipped him off as the annoyed Security Guard tried to pepper sprayed his face but failed due to his gas mask as he gasped in shock.

"What the fuck-,"

"GET HIM!" Jessie screamed while using his Roshambo Move to lift up his arm and delivered a powerful punch across the Security Guard's balls, causing him to squeal in pain and agony as he kneeled down and a nervous Butters walked over to slam his hammer across his head, knocking him out as he crashed down into the ground and a grinning Jessie bends down to grab his Billy Club as he swung it around. "Nice, new weapon."

"Oh, boy, I don't think that's a good idea. We could get in a lot of trouble for this." A scared Butters says as a reassuring Jessie turned to him.

"Don't worry, buddy, this guy deserved the beating that he got, and, if someone is able to figure out who we are and our disguises failed, I will take heat, don't worry." Jessie says sincerely as Butters smiled and sighs in relief as he nodded, and the Duo walked towards the Mansion as Jessie took off his gas mask, and Butters took off the silver helmet as he handed it over to the blue-haired boy, who puts it on as he tossed away the gas mask. "Okay, Butters, stay near the front door. I will be right back." Jessie says to Butters, who nodded as he made his way over to stand near the front door and the blue-haired boy made his way over to Tolkien's Garage as he opened it and spotted a chest inside as Jessie breaks off the locks with his super strength and peeked inside as he saw eighty-two cents and a friar cap inside.

"Ooh, nice haul." Jessie says while grabbing them as he then spotted a nearby Velocirapstar Chinpokomon Doll and perked up as he walked over to grab it. "Alright, better go back to the mission." Jessie says as he walked out of the Garage and made his way over to the front door as he knocked on the door, and, after waiting for a few seconds, the door was opened as an African-American Boy appeared in front of them. The Kid is a 10-year-old African American Boy with black eyes, short black hair, Dark Brown Skin, a slim build, and his outfit consists of a light purple Armani Exchange shirt with a yellow 'T' symbol planted in the center, a pair of dark blue jeans, and black shoes. His name is Tolkien...what? You thought his name would be Token? As in the Token Black Guy? Wow, just fucking wow. You're the problem here, pal. You're the problem.

"Yes? Can I help you?" Tolkien asked curiously, wondering how they got past security as Jessie waved at him casually.

"Yo, I'm Jessie Gladstone. You're Token, right? Well, I'm the New Kid in town. I'm playing that role-playing game that you guys are playing, and the Stick of Truth was stolen by the Elves again, and the Grand Wizard had me and Butters go and recruit people." Jessie explains as Tolkien perks up.

"Oh, gotcha. Hang on a second." Tolkien says while closing the door as, after waiting for a few seconds, the door was opened again to reveal that Tolkien was wearing an upside-down red Nike Headband, a red cape wrapped around his neck as it reaches down to his feet, a purple vest with a white shirt underneath, brown/black gloves with yellow snowflakes on them, a black belt with a golden belt buckle and four plastic knives attached to it, orange pants, and black shoes. "Thank you for thy message, traveler! I shall make haste to Kupa Keep...Mom! Can you drive me to Eric's House?!" Tolkien asked his Mother while walking away as Jessie closed the door for him, and his phone's notification sound rang out as Jessie pulled out his phone and noticed that he got a friend request from Tolkien.

"Oh, nice. You know, judging by past experiences, I thought Token would be pretty hard to recruit, but aside from that annoying Secruity Guard, Token was pretty easy to recruit." Jessie says with a smile as Butters smiled, but then flinched as he looked away anxiously.

"Uh, yeah, but what about Craig? We still haven't recruited him."

"Oh, yeah, right...eh, we would figure something out soon." Jessie says with a shrug as a nervous Butters nodded, and the Duo started making their way back to the KKK...wait...

---

And done! I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and I can't wait to write the next one. Anyway, before I go, here is the voice actor for my OC:

Jessie Gladstone's Voice Actor: John Patrick De Sena, specifically the voice that he uses for the character Sokka from Avatar The Last Airbender.

That's about it. Anyway, as always, I will catch you all later.