Specs and the City Specs in the City in the Mandela effect universe. Mr Burns gives all his employees high tech gadget glasses so he can spy on them. At school it's Valentine's Day again and Bart angers Nelson by refusing to give him a Valentine's card. And there's references to The Legend of the Guardians The Owls of Gahoole and Boy with shades talks!
Plot
After the titles straight to the couch gag which is the Channel 4 Ident. Homer has set up his snacks and a six pack of beer. However while he goes off to get dips Bart laughs and steals his beer. Bart climbs onto his treehouse and tosses the beers onto a power line. He laughs.
Homer arrived and finds his beers missing. He screams. He sees them on a power line and screams.
Homer climbs uu a ladder to get them. However when he grabs a can he is zapped. He screams and gets zapped repeatedly.
Bart in his treehouse laughed.
"So... this is a channel 4 ident. We don't have a channel 4..." said Milhouse.
"It's a British TV channel." said Oscar drinking tea from a cup and saucer.
Homer was still screaming and getting zapped by the power line.
Eventually it was night.
He smiled because he stupidly thought the electricity went off at night. He opened a can by pulling its ring pull but got zapped. He yelped. Then he slurped some beer and got zapped. He tried again and gain.
We pan out over Springfield to Homer's screams as the Channel 4 logo flickers.
...
A month before Comic Book Guy married Kumiko. It is Christmas and red and green smoke comes out of the power plant chimney as the surrounding grounds have been decorated for Christmas.
(to tune of "Silver Bells"):
Glowing rods, glowing rods
It's making me
Weak and dizzy...
Homer sings as he decorates a small Christmas tree with plutonium rods but he's feeling unwell from radiation sickness. The tree also suffers as it drops its needles and withers.
Carl comes in.
"Uh, rumor has it they're about to give out the company Christmas gifts." said Carl.
"Who told you that?" Homer asked.
"I got an in. The VP of Personnel is doing my girlfriend." said Carl. "Turns out my girlfriend is a lesbian who fancies Waynetta Smithers from Personnel but she's secretly got a crush on Kathy."
"I do not!" said Waynetta Smithers from Personnel. A female Smithers.
Homer winced.
"Ooh, look at you, Mr. Connected." said Lenny.
"I hope it's better than last year's lousy gift." Homer sighed holding a calendar with pictures of Mr Burns's hounds.
"Yeah, what a rip. Ugh." Carl sighed.
"Remember this gift? The executive stress ball." said Lenny holding a stress ball with Mr Burns's face on it. He squeezed it and the ball said prerecorded things.
"One more squeeze and you're fired." said Mr Burns's pre recorded voice.
(gasps) "Now I feel more stressed than ever. Gah!" said Lenny. He screamed and threw the stress ball but it bounced off of a wall and flew down his throat. He choked on it, (gags)
(muffled): "Excellent. Excellent. Excellent." said the ball from inside Lenny.
"Uh, you don't look so excellent to me." said Carl. He gave Lenny the heimlich.
(retches) Lenny coughed up the stress ball and it flew into the mouth of some guy in a lab coat and goggles coming in to Homer's work station. The man choked on the stress ball.
"Ho, ho, humbug. Santa Claus approaches to judge and punish." said Mr Burns coming into Sector 7G riding a sleigh dressed as Santa while Smithers pulled them sleigh dressed as Rudolph the red nosed reindeer.
Mr Burns have them gifts.
"Wow! A good gift for once." said Carl.
They opened the gifts.
"Oogle Goggles. Augmented reality glasses. Cool!" said Homer.
"You wear them like eyeglasses, but inside the lens, you see information about the people and places around you." Smithers explained.
"Ooh, finally I'm not a slave to my stupid human eyeballs." said Homer putting them on. (gasping in wonder) Information and facts came up around everyone. "Ooh!" Lenny had 18 DUIs. Lol! Lenny... "Whoa." Carl had an IQ of 241. He was a genius somehow.
(high-pitched gibbering) The sounds of the glasses working as facts came up. Homer learned Mr Burns had an extremely low pulse of 3, an internal body temperature of 40.6 degrees C and should already be dead as his date of death was 1998. (smug chuckling)
Homer also saw the model number of his workstation. The Intel Workdesk 500 for nuclear power plants. However his glasses told him it was obsolete.
"Glasses, call Lenny." said Homer. There were chirps coming from Lenny's glasses.
"Ooh, I'm getting a call." said Lenny. "Answer call. Hello?"
"Lenny, it's me, Homer." said Homer.
Lenny saw data about him come up. Ie he was called Homer J Simpson and he had during his life, several heart attacks. "Hm. I always thought it was "Simp-sen.""
"Really? Don't you ever look up at the sky?" Homer asked. From a skylight in Homer's workstation they saw the title sequence.
(theme song playing) The Simpsoooooons...
"Always wondered what that was." said Lenny.
...
Mr Burns's office.
"Sir, I'm concerned about your sudden generosity. The doctor said to bring you in right away if you display kindness or warmth." said Smithers. Um... his doctor is Satan?!
"Oh, don't worry. This Santa still has claws." said Mr Burns. He unveiled the cameras. Now they were ported to the Oogle glasses so he could see what everyone else could. "As of now, each of those nuclear nitwits is wearing a video camera. With a direct feed to me."
(gasps) "You're spying on them?" Smithers gasped. Smithers that still surprises you...? That he'd do a thing like that...
"Smithers, how much did this company lose to office supply theft last year?" Mr Burns asked.
"$7,043." said Smithers.
"Yes, well, no more of that." Mr Burns sighed. "Thanks to this $26 million surveillance system." He admired his intrusive surveillance system. "Beware, rabbits. I spy with my transplanted eyes."
"Oh, and I forgot to show you the best feature." a panel with lots of red buttons on it cane up from the office floor via a hatch. "Each of these buttons represents an employee. When I press it, he or she dies." That's evil! (scoffs). He pushed one. Nothing happened. "What's wrong with this thing?" he keeps tapping the buttons. (grunts in frustration)
"Sjr. A kill switch has not been installed in the Oogle Glasses..." Smithers sighed.
"Judas! Why not?!" Mr Burns yelled.
"Because that would be murder, Sir..." said Smithers.
...
January the 1st.
Homer throws out a Happy New Year Banner. Presumably this is very late in the day after he has sobered up.
Inside Oscar is hungover.
"Ugh... no more apple juice..." Oscar groaned.
February the 14th. Valentines Day.
The kids were in the kitchen making valentines cards with arts and crafts.
Maggie dipped her pacifier into the glue then the sparkles. Then she put her sparkling pacifier teat in her mouth and sucked her pacifier.
"Now, remember kids, the school says you must have a valentine card for everyone in your class." said Marge to Bart, Lisa and Hugo.
"How does this mean anything when everyone's forced to do it?" Bart groaned.
"What did I say about pointing out the meaninglessness of things?" Marge nagged.
"Not to." Bart sighed. "Well, no way I'm giving a valentine to Nelson. He's a bully, and I do not love him."
"I do." said Hugo being gay. He moaned aroused.
"Jesus says to love your enemies." said Todd.
"That's because Jesus knows one day, he gets to look his enemies in the eye and say "It was me who sent you to Hell."" said Bart being dramatic and cool.
"Bart, your school requires you to give everyone a valentine card in an envelope with a fun sticker." Marge nagged. "Your teacher put out an e-mail alert. With a video attachment."
A video on Marge's laptop played.
"Welcome to Firstline. Tonight, "Valentine's Day: Always A Massacre."" Said some guy.
At a school. "At this school, children may give valentines to whomever they choose." We pan over to a little boy wearing a green sweater. "Danny is unpopular, due to rumors he sleeps in the raw with his ma and his PA." I think that means he sleeps in their bed with them! Freak! "Human young are born with the ability to count valentines, and Danny realizes he's been snubbed. Past generations of children were used to rejection. But today's kids, raised in a climate of video games and instant messaging, are fragile weirdos." Uh mean!
"On february 15, 2:00am, after checking the mailbox one last time, Danny nearly died from an overdose of little candy hearts." XD. "Many of history's monsters never received a valentine. Attila the Hun,Mao Tse-tung, and me, Will Lyman. This is Firstline."
The video ended.
"Fine, Nelson gets a valentine. An old one from the box." He picked out a The Legend of the Guardians: The Owls of Gahoole card.
"Perfect. Bad movie, bad pun, even bad paper stock." Bart chuckled.
"The Legend of O RLY? The Owls of NO WAI! Was not a bad movie!" Oscar yelled.
Bart winced.
"Oz, the Movie is not called that..." Hugo sighed.
...
Meanwhile a Oscar was in Bart's room playing Monster Rancher with the song Hot Stuff by Donna Summer blaring in the background.
Oscar sang his own version but with the word Monster instead of Hot Stuff.
"Lookin' for some monsters, baby, this evenin'! I need some monsters, baby, tonight! I want some monsters, baby, this evening'! Gotta have some monsters! Gonna kick some ass toniiiiiight!" He played his electric guitar loudly.
Genki from Monster Rancher winced.
Elsewhere Jasper at the old folks home was still receiving inappropriate Valentines cards from his granddaughter."
And In Hey Arnold Suzie kicked Oskar out for only thinking about himself and he moved in with Arnold and was creepy.
"Arnold, I can't believe how handsome you're getting, the way your body's growing to match the unusual shape of your head." said Oskar. Presumably in his sleep.
Arnold was freaked out. Mmmmmmm! Inappropriate shipping...
...
The Simpson's attic.
Hugo was revising for a test. Lisa was jamming with her saxophone.
Loud but beautiful jazz.
"Lisa, do you think you could play your saxophone some other time? I'm trying to study for a test." Hugo groaned.
"I'm playing a video game rather than revising. Losers..." said Bart from the landing.
"But, Hugo, I have to practice!" Lisa explained. She understood Well.. At least he's revising.
"Well, I have to study." said Hugo reading a big science book.
Lisa smiles softly. "Yes and I commend you for taking your studies seriously. Unlike your twin brother."
Bart was in his room playing a violent video game.
"But Hugo, be reasonable. Can't we at least compromise? I practice now, you can study tomorrow. Lisa asked (continues playing)
(yelling over the loud saxophone) "But, Sis, my test IS tomorrow!" (angrily groans)
The next day...
"Oh, Hugo, good to see you, how did your test go?" Lisa asked Hugo when he got on the school bus to go home.
"Not so good..." Hugo groaned annoyed at her.
"That's too bad, you should have studied." said Lisa. Um is she gone stupid this episode or something?! Oh wait it's because I'm just using dialogue from Hey Arnold...
Hugo growled frustrated.
...
in the kitchen at lunch or something.
(Homer laughing) (giggles)
"What's so funny?" Marge asked him.
"I'm watching videos of idiots wearing these glasses and not paying attention to the world around them." Homer laughed watching funny videos on his Oogle glasses. "Look at these jerks."
(man screams) Ow! (man screams)
"I don't understand what's so great about these state of the art, solar-powered, computo-glasses." said Marge.
Hugo winced.
"Mom..."
"I'll let you try them on, right after I decide if these videos are Funny Or Die." said Homer watching videos. "Funny, funny, die, die, funny, funny but the guy died."
"Oh..." Marge sighed.
"Now, a simple Sunday drive will reveal the hidden wonders of our hometown. Hmm..." said Homer focusing (grunting with effort) Stuff like facts in red text came up in his glasses augmented reality. "Whoo-hoo!" He cheered. But they were boring facts. "D'oh!" He also grunted because the glasses were showing in red numbers the values of his house and Ned's. However the value of his house went down after Santa's Little Helper and Teddy, Oscar's living teddy bear creature were spotted peeing on a bush.
They drove about in the car.
"Springfield City Hall was built for the Spencer Tracy movie Meet Me At City Hall. It was just a flat wall with nothing behind it for 30 years." Homer explained as the glasses told him this.
Bart and Lisa were pushing and shoving.
"Dad, Bart's on my side of the seat." Lisa whined.
"Dad, Lisa's my little sister." Bart whined.
(both grunting)
Them shoving and hitting knocked a big book out of Hugo's hands.
"Daaaaaad... tell these two to grow up and sit quietly! I'm trying to read!" Hugo yelled picking up his book.
Bart slapped him.
Hugo grabbed his arm and bit him viciously.
"The rearview mirror was invented in 1911, for just this reason." said Homer looking at his kids through the rare view mirror.
"Interesting. When was the term "shut up" invented?" Oscar said frowning.
"As early as 1859, shut up was used to shut up..." said Homer.
"Homie, I think the kids are just hungry." said Marge.
"Glasses, direct me to the nicest restaurant I can afford." Homer asked his glasses.
Female electronic voice: "Accessing soup kitchens." XD!
"What, you... Oh, that's it, I'm taking you off." Homer yelled taking off his glasses angrily. He saw Squeaky Voiced Teen's greasy acne covered face. "Aah! Reality."
"Oh! Sorry, sir!" said Jeremy the Squeaky Voiced Teen.
Plot 2
At Krusty Burger. Homer ordered himself a burger. He had his augmented reality glasses back on. They told him his burger was made of hamster bedding, old newspapers shredded and sand from swimming costumes.
"Eeeeeeeeugh!" Homer was disgusted.
Oscar saw Comic Book Guy sat alone eating a burger.
"Uh Matt... he's happily married now..." said Oscar.
Matt growled and illustrated Kumiko into existence.
Kumiko giggled and kissed her husband Jeff.
Jeff chuckled and kissed his wife.
"Awwwwww! How sweet!" Marge cooed.
"Yeah right..." Bart retched.
Then Mr Teeny swam in the secret sauce again.
"No Mr Teeny!" Krusty cried.
"Eeeeew..." Everyone except Oscar groaned.
"Mmmmmm Ebola..." Oscar moaned with joy.
Bart winced at him.
...
Homer and Marge's room. Homer is having sex with her under the blanket while wearing his augmented reality glasses.
"Oooooh! Haven't tried that position for..."
"Homer are you wearing your Oogle glasses in bed?!" Marge asked annoyed.
"But your avatar looks just like you sweetie!" said Homer.
"Homer how would you like it if I was wearing those glasses during snuggle time..."
"Glasses, find me a gift for my wife." said Homer. "For under five dollars." He whispered but Marge heard him.
"Hey!" Marge yelled.
"Glasses take me two minutes back in time." said Homer.
He time traveled two minutes back in time.
"Okay that's just stupid Narrator..." Hank seethed.
Time travel is cool!
He took off his glasses and made out with his wife.
...
Breakfast.
"Marge." said Homer.
"Mm." Marge was annoyed.
"About the glasses." said Homer.
"Mm!" She was really annoyed!
"I'm really sorry, and..." Homer sighed.
"Mm, mm, mm. Here's your breakfast." Marge annoyed gave everyone their breakfast.
"Only five pancakes? You're trying to kill me." Homer whined.
"Well, I'm not happy with you." said Marge annoyed.
"Look, honey, I know these glasses are a radical new technology and should be worn in moderation. Isn't that right, glasses?" said Homer he asked the glasses something.
Female electronic voice: "Yes, just like I told you."
"Anyway, I'm giving them up. To whoever dares take them." said Homer putting them on the Lazy Susan on the table.
(Lisa, Bart, Oscar and Hugo gasp)
The Lazy Susan spun round. It stopped at Maggie.
"Yoink." Marge took them.
"Aw, come on, Mom." The kids whined.
"For once, I'm grabbing the goody." said Marge.
"So the rumors are true. Moms can want things." said Lisa.
Maggie threw her pacifier at Marge. Marge looked round wearing the augmented reality glasses. Maggie was whistling nonchalantly. "Hmmmmmmmm!" The glasses told Marge she was guilty...
...
Fourth grade.
Everyone was lining up scared of Nelson as they handed him his cards. Boy with Shades was being hilarious because you can see his eyes...
"I don't always wear my pink shades..." He sighed.
Lewis watches as Nelson judges his card.
"Hmm. Hmm... Nicely done, Lewis." He approves of his card. "A Transformer that transforms into a heart? I love it!"
Lewis sighs and wipes his brow and leaves.
Boy with Shades hands over his card and a chocolate looking extremely nervous.
Bart giggles. That kid's funny... he thought internally.
"Mm. This Hershey's Kiss is melted. Not good." Nelson was annoyed. He snapped his fingers and Jimbo and Dolph dragged Boy with Shades away.
"My mom left it on the dashboard! My mom...!" Boy With Shades spoke for the first time in canon! He um says the same thing in I Love Lisa, in my Fanon.
"Coooool! So that's what his voice sounds like..." said Milhouse.
Bart was angry with Nelson.
"I'll have yours now, Simpson." Nelson said to Bart.
Bart looked at his card. "In Ga'hoole, we would break his frickin' knees!" The owl said angrily. Coooool!
"No. No Valentine for you, Nelson." Bart said sharply.
Everyone gasped.
"Excuse me?" Nelson said angrily.
"I'll give a Valentine to a loser, I'll give a Valentine to a dork, I'll even give a Valentine to a girl, I'll even give one to Avery Texan... (Avery was waving at him and blowing kisses.) but I won't give a Valentine to a bully!" Bart ripped up his card.
Everyone gasped.
Nelson got up and got in his space in a threatening manner. "Here's what's gonna happen. You have one week to make me the best Valentine any kid ever got."
"And what if I don't?" Bart replied sharply.
"Simpson, there's gonna be a heart in my hand, either paper or yours." said Nelson.
Bart gulped.
"Kali ma shakti de! Kali maaaaaa! Kali Maaaaaa!" said Oscar sat on Martin's desk typing up this very episode right now.
Bart winced exasperated.
...
At work.
"Simpson!" Mr Burns said sharply.
Homer screamed.
"Where are your Oogle Glasses?!" Mr Burns snapped.
"I let my wife borrow mine." said Homer.
Mr Burns mumbled annoyed. "Here's a spare pair!"
Homer wore the augmented reality glasses wondering why Mr Burns wanted him to wear them so desperately.
Homer came into the cafeteria
"Carl I didn't know you had an IQ of 241..." said Homer as the glasses told him so.
"These glasses are really intrusive..." said Carl.
"I'm getting to the bottom of this... then the top!" said Homer heading off somewhere.
"Okay let's play Muppet Chess." said a guy.
"Gonzo to Fozzie Seven..." said another guy.
"Ah! That's Kermit Mate!" The first guy groaned.
"Wakka Wakka!" said the second.
Oscar laughed hysterically. "Muppet chess..."
...
At Home Marge is baking. She is annoyed because Homer wrote on her recipe cards.
"Oh, why is it the recipe card you need is always the one Homer writes his cocktail ideas on?"
It was for a Beer martini. Take one martini glass. Fill it with Duff beer. Apply to mouth. Drink.
Oscar laughed,
Marge ushered him outside to play.
"Maybe these bleep-bloop glasses can help." Marge picked up the glasses. "Okay, Marge Simpson entering the Matrix," she put them on. "for a brownie recipe."
Electronic sounds.
Female electronic voice: "Here are my top-rated recipes." there were brownies. Mmmmmm!
"Ooh. So many choices, Maggie." said Marge.
(beeping) the glasses said Maggie Simpson to tell Marge who, she was looking at. And that she was guilty of attempted murder. XD.
Marge sighed.
Oscar came in with a soccer ball.
"Oz no. no soccer inside." said Marge.
The glasses pointed out he was Oscar Diggs Tamaki. And that he had a criminal record for multiple counts of murder.
"Yikes!" Marge gulped.
...
Mr Burns's Office.
Mr Burns was spying on his workers.
"Okay, so let's see what we can see..." He looked at the screens. "Solitaire, top hats on eBay, Angry Birds fan fiction, (XD!) guy doing really easy crossword puzzle, Lenny doing Carl's clown makeup... someone's actually working?" said Mr Burns.
"Sir are you aware Homer's Oogle glasses are at home and are being worn by a non employee." Smithers asked him.
"Yes I know. I admonished Simpson earlier and gave him another pair. Oooooh this is interesting... Aaaaaagh! Maggie S-s-Simpson! The baby who shot me!" Mr Burns was seeing everything through Marge's eyes.
"Who's mommy's baby?" Marge was playing with Maggie.
"Geneology dot com says you are." said the glasses.
Maggie giggled.
Homer was bunking off again as Mr Burns saw him enter his kitchen.
"And who's your daddy Maggie?" Homer teased Maggie as she should know he is.
"Well certainly not you Mr Simpson. Via my findings on Geneology dot com." said the glasses.
"What?! How dare you?! Then who's the daddy smarty lenses?" Homer yelled.
"Kang Zyzzrax. Home address: The planet Rigel VII." said the Oogle Glasses.
"That's not canon..." Homer groaned.
I am going with Kang as her dad...
...
In second grade.
Ralph put a valentines card in Lisa's desk box then put a bouquet of roses on her desk.
Lisa sighed.
"Ralph no! We're not getting back together..." Lisa groaned.
Ralph cried loudly.
"Okay! Okay! We'll get back together! Sheesh!" Lisa sighed.
"Yaaaaaaay!" Ralph cheered.
Lisa wept frustrated into her palms.
"And we're getting married too." said Ralph.
Meanwhile to impress Manjula, Apu Han Solo-ed himself in chocolate again.
"Oh by the arms of Vishnu!" Manjula gasped.
"Help help! I can't breath!" cried Apu trapped in chocolate.
...
Homer goes to Mr Burns's Office while he's out.
"Um, Mr. Burns, sir? Can I get another pair of glasses?" Homer asked. "Maybe two pair? One for the beach house? Can I also get a beach house? Two beach houses." Um... no...
Homer discovers Mr Burns is spying on everyone.
"Huh? Monitors?! What the...? Burns gave us those glasses so he could spy on us! This is a violation of our human rights." said Homer annoyed.
"No it's not!" said Charles Stiles from Mystery Diners.
Homer can see from Marge's point of view.
"Such a good baby. You deserve some ice cream." Marge got Maggie some ice cream. Sure... she's a good baby... throwing her pacifier at you...
"Wait a minute- Marge said we were out of ice cream!" Homer glared as Marge got out some ice cream for Maggie.
(Marge humming happily)
"What other secrets has she been hiding from me?!" Homer was annoyed.
(doorbell rings)
"Maggie, he's here!" said Marge as a Male person arrived.
"Oh, is she having an affair?" Homer wondered.
"Thanks for asking me to lunch." said Grampa who was the visitor. He was holding baby Eric.
"Oh, why isn't she having an affair?!" Homer groaned.
Uh okay...
Marge and Abe sat down for a harmless lunch.
"Ooooooh! Why is she being so nice to my horrible father who was never nice to me?!" Homer whined.
"Because you're a melon head..." said Oscar.
Elsewhere Charles Stiles encourages employers and restaurant managers to covertly spy on their staff...
"So hopefully Bruce, we'll find out which of your employees has been stealing from the till." said Charles.
Plot 3
Bart's bedroom.
"What about a Valentine that says: "Bully, for you"?" Milhouse suggested to Bart.
"Hmm, interesting..." Bart pondered.
""Interesting" means "no."" Milhouse sighed realising Bart hated his idea.
""Interesting" means "no." (snaps fingers) Milhouse, you're a genius!" Bart gasped.
Milhouse gasped. "I am? What did I say?"
(groans): "Oh, nothing." Bart sighed.
"On TV when a guy says something lame, another guy says he's a genius, and then he has an idea." said Milhouse.
"I thought it might work for me." said Bart.
"Well, you called me a genius. That means a lot." Milhouse smiles.
"Oh, I hate this stupid holiday! The only thing you can do is screw it up" Bart ranted.
(gasps) "That's it! Bart, you're a genius!" said Milhouse.
"Well, if you keep throwing the word around, it means nothing." Bart groaned.
"Kallae Kistnaeeeee..." Oscar rasped.
"Oz, why are you in my room..." Bart sighed.
"I wanna play with one of your toys..." said Oscar.
"You do not touch my stuff." Bart pushed him out the room.
Milhouse shrugged.
In the hall way there was a demonic kumquat.
It hissed.
Oscar face palmed.
After erasing the kumquat monster, Oscar went to his room. He decided to pass the time by letting Teddy sniff his diaper with his big wet shiny black nose simply to annoy Hank.
Oscar stripped down to his diaper and rested on his knees.
Teddy sniffed his diaper. Oscar giggled. Teddy continues sniffing him.
Oscar blushed and sweated.
"Son of a beach ball!" Hank seethed.
Teddy's nose quivered and twitched as he sniffed Oscar's diaper.
...
Mr Burns's Office.
Homer was caught by Mr Burns.
"Who are you?! And what are you doing in my office?!" Mr Burns yelled at Homer who was eating popcorn.
Homer screamed. "Um... I'm uh... Mr Burns!"
"Oh a thousand apologies Mr Burns! I won't bother you again!" said Mr Burns grovelling to him.
Homer winced.
"He really needs to see a doctor." said Homer.
Oscar shrugged.
He then noticed Marge was seeing a psychiatrist.
"Marge is seeing a shrink?!"
And that her sessions were predominantly about how flustered she was about Homer.
"He still drinks two drinks in the shower..." Marge said to the shrink.
"Those were pale ales..." Homer groaned.
"He's always angry all the time..." said Marge.
Homer gasped.
"The boy pushes my buttons!" Homer explained himself.
"He gets mad at the newspaper comics... Marmaduke this... Marmaduke that..."
"That dog hasn't been very funny lately!" Homer justified himself.
Oscar winced.
"Homer was converting our dollars to "yu-ros." Not the money, the sandwich." said Marge sighing.
"Marge they're called Gyros..." Homer rolled his eyes.
"And (Sobbing) He is so horrible to our other son, Hugo! Bart's twin." Marge sobbed.
Homer rolled his eyes.
...
At Moe's.
"Marmaduke was horrible today!" Homer groaned. "Also, Marge is in therapy, and she didn't even tell me."
"Whoa. She has crossed a line." said Moe. "How did you find out?"
"Spied on her with a hidden camera." said Homer. "She thinks I'm selfish. She thinks I don't spend enough time with the kids. She thinks I'm cruel to the kid I didn't even want who lives in our attic..." Homer groaned.
...
At school Bart gave Nelson his make up valentines card. A white card with a red heart. Inside the heart it said "I fear you."
""I fear you"? This is what Valentine's Day means to you?!" Nelson was annoyed.
"This is what it means to everyone." said Bart. "How can you be forced to say "I love you"?
"Easy. If Stalin, Attila the Hun or Ming the Merciless said so you would..." said Oscar.
Bart winced at him.
"People only give Valentines because they're scared of what would happen if they didn't." said Bart to Nelson.
Nelson read inside the card. "Nelson, you frighten me so, "The psycho-est bully I know, "You're a sociopath in need of a bath, I'm sure you'll wind up on death row."
(sniffing) He sniffed the card. "Mmm! You can really smell the fear on this." He liked the card!
"I rubbed it on Milhouse." said Bart.
"Simpson, you just touched my heart's butt. Which Sonic explained is no good." They hugged. "Why are you hugging yourself? Why are you hugging yourself?!" said Nelson tearfully.
"If Nelson doesn't do something bully-ish in two seconds, I'm gonna wedgie him." Jimbo muttered.
"Nelson doesn't wear underwear." said Dolph.
"Wow. Always one step ahead." said Jimbo.
"Nelson you want to be my friend don't you..." Bart sighed.
"Yeah..." Nelson replied.
"Then stop threatening me... and others. This can't be like the time I accidentally splashed you with mud and you got mad..." said Bart.
Nelson sighed.
...
At a sushi place.
"Uh, I'm here to check in for my 3:00 table." said a Japanese guy.
"Please fill out these forms, Mr. Fakinami." said Akira.
Comic Book Guy and Kumiko were sat at a table.
"Oh Jeff! You're so romantic!" Kumiko sighed.
"Yes he is, newbie..." said Lucy Lawless as Xena.
"Xena?" Kumiko asked.
"Ha! Almost made it down the aisle!" Mrs Krabappel laughed.
Comic Book Guy's Movematarian wife appeared looking annoyed.
"Hey there cutie pie..." said Agnes.
The braces lady was there. "I'd like to return these water damaged Lulus."
Comic Book Guy screamed and fled to the toilets.
...
The Simpsons house, kitchen.
"Okay, so, Helen Lovejoy told me that she made her famous snickerdoodle Bundt cake for the church sale, and she put in salt instead of sugar!" said Marge to Oscar. (laughs)
"Yeah? And...?"
"That's it. That was the story." said Marge.
"Where's that cake now?" Oscar asked.
"It got sold." said Marge.
"Who bought it?" Oscar asked.
"Dr Hibbert."
"Excuse me. I have to make a call." said Oscar getting up.
"Don't take too long." said Marge.
Oscar returned. "Okay, Hibbert's in surgery, but they're having him paged." said Oscar. "I'm texting this to Hugo. He'd plotz! Hehehe!"
Hugo from another nearby room laughed.
Homer stormed in. "You!"
"Homer what's wrong?" Marge asked.
"Well first off Marge, and Mr Burns, if you can hear me! Those Oogle glasses? Mr Burns is using them as elaborate surveillance devices to spy on us!" said Homer.
Marge gasped.
"And I just happened to know so because I was snooping about his office looking for a spare pair! And what would you know. I got front row seats at your "Therapy" appointments where you slag me off!" Homer ranted.
"Homer I do not slag you off! And those meetings are private and confidential!" Marge said sharply.
"Why can't you tell me things I do annoy you?" Homer asked annoyed.
"I do! You never listen!" Marge snapped.
They bickered incoherently.
"Oz come on. It's not healthy to watch people argue..." said Bart ushering him out of the kitchen.
...
Homer and Marge were not happy with each other.
"And you told me there was no more ice cream!" Homer ranted.
"Yeah because you keep eating it all! The kids never get any! So I lied to save some for the kids!" Marge retorted.
However they were both more mad at Mr Burns so they found time while the kids were at school to have afternoon sex.
"Hold on. Let me get these pants off. There." said Homer as they were in bed uh...
"Oh dear god?!" Mr Burns was disgusted.
Eventually Marge and Homer made up as she made him a smiley cake.
One day in summer.
Homer got home from Maggie's daycare which is the same as preschool...
"But isn't preschool just the same thing as daycare?" Lisa asked.
"No sweetie, they have different names - one which sounds like we're good parents, and one which sounds like we're lazy." said Marge. Yeah sure...
"But they do the same things! The only difference is that daycare is a little bit cheaper." Lisa ranted.
Anyway Homer came home with Maggie who was crying. He was greeted that summer afternoon by Lisa who was sick because she had a thermometer in her mouth, a water bottle on her head and wearing a blanket.
"I am the lizard Queen..." Oh great she's in that phase again...
And he was also greeted to the sight of Bart running around the house naked!
"Bart put your clothes back on!" Homer yelled.
"Wheeeeeee! I'm NAKED!" Bart yelled with joy.
Homer face palmed.
"Cooooool!" Oscar cooed. "I have no idea what prompted him to do that...
At work.
"Well, what do you think about Mr Burns spying on us with these?" Homer asked Carl.
"Well... watching us at home or when we're in the bathroom is definitely inappropriate." said Carl. "But employers do watch their employees at work while they're at their station to make sure they're working."
Suddenly the black guy who won at Muppet Chess, his head exploded into blood and brains.
"Oh my god!" Homer screamed in horror.
"Burns got the kill switch installed. Take off your glasses! Now!" Oscar yelled.
Homer, Lenny and Carl did so.
"It's open season!" Oscar pulled out a shotgun and pumped it. He went off to kill Mr Burns again!
In Mr Burns's Office.
"Ohohohoho! That was so much fun Gupta!" Mr Burns laughed.
Gupta from Tomorrow Never Dies laughed maniacally.
Smithers frowned.
...
Elsewhere at School during Valentine's Day.
After making up with Nelson.
"Wanna rip up Mr Largo's stupid heart costume?" Nelson asked.
"Sure." said Bart grinning.
Mr Largo dressed as a love heart was handing out valentines cards to the kids.
"Happy Valentine's Day!" said Mr Largo. (Whispering) "Losers..."
"I defy you! Heart man!" Nelson yelled and ripped up his costume.
Bart laughed and ran off with Nelson.
Patrick Star winced.
Meanwhile Family Guy's only Valentine's Day episode started with Peter playing Black Eyed Peas Tonight's gonna be a Good, Good Night. Which is lame...
"Like those annoying opera singers that wanted my Cornetto ice cream and sang about wanting it and that I should give it to them. So I pumped them full of hot lead." said Oscar.
Bart winced.
"Well, I didn't even know the Fine Young Cannibals were still together." said Milhouse.
Oscar winced unnerved by that um band... "I find it hard to believe that particular band hasn't been incarcerated in a maximum security Mental Hospital/Asylum for eating people?!"
Bart face palmed.
"Oz they're not actually cannibals..." Bart sighed.
Oscar did the Hannibal Lecter rasp.
Bart face palmed.
Milhouse winced.