52

That's Not Me.

Hello, everyone. I am back, and I'm not going anywhere if I can help it! I have to assure each of you that I will not abandon this story. I'm not going to stop writing this story until it's complete but as I've previously stated, I'm an essential worker, and I'm extremely busy. We've lost co-workers to COVID. We've lost co-workers because some refuse to come back. I stay because I have to. I can't and won't walk away. I wish that I could dedicate more time to the story to help us all through these trying times but at this particular time, I cannot do that. I have an obligation to my families and with them losing their jobs as well as their benefits, the story has to come when I have some free time available and with the way things are going, I don't see that happening anytime soon. Lord knows that we all need an escape, and I will do my best to help when I have the time. Anyway, I have not abandoned this story. Only death can keep me from completing this story. I need it. I need it to relax and escape my own reality. So, please. Stick with me and don't go away because I'm not. I give you my word.

As always, thank you so much for reading, favoriting, reviewing, and alerting.

After returning to Eric's, Jake walked me to the door just before he went about his patrol. "I'm going to make sure that Mellie leaves town later ... after Eric rises but until then, I'll be here if you need me for anything. I'll be out of sight, but I will be watching you and this house." He pulled his cell phone from his pocket. Waving it back and forth, he said, "You have my number."

Smiling, I agreed. "And if I need absolutely anything, I will call you. I promise." I crossed my heart and nodded. "And if you need me, I'll be in here in this house. Staring at the four walls. Being bored to death. Looking longingly out the window as the world passes me by. My goodness. I don't know what I'll do until Eric awakes." I sighed as I gave Jake the saddest look that I could muster up … big, wide, sad eyes. Poked out my bottom lip. I even sighed … again but deeper this time. "I don't know what I'm going to do."

Jake rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Don't give me that look, Sookie. Don't give me that 'oh, mercy me', southern lady crap." He pointed as his chest. "I have sisters AND a mother. That's exactly what they would do to get me to do what they wanted me to do, but not today. I'm not falling for it. Not today."

I ignored him. I wanted him to bask in the loneliness and discomfort of being kept inside when there's more that we could be doing. "I wouldn't have to do that if you'd be a friend and go with me to my apartment to get a few things. Hey, we don't even have to do that. Maybe we could go to Bon Temps to check a few things out … to find out what Dawn meant when she mentioned Bon Temp, but I guess we won't be doing that either."

Jake laughed. "You're exactly right. Not going to happen. Eric is having everything delivered. Bon Temps will happen when it happens and not a moment sooner. You don't have to worry your plotting, little head about anything in that apartment or about what's going on in Bon Temps."

I shook my head. "You're a cruel man."

He bowed flamboyantly and thanked me. "I'm always here to serve."

"Okay," I replied sullenly. "I'll see you later?"

"Most definitely," he answered as he walked away. "Lock those doors."

"Done."

He waved at me over his shoulder as he walked down the stairs.

And just as Jake recommended, the doors were locked as soon as they were closed. It didn't really matter though … opened or locked. Claudine was sitting on the couch. "Hi, Sookie," she said as she waved. "I didn't think you'd ever come home."

I stormed over to her and glared down at my faery godmother cousin. "What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be in this house." My heart then began to pound in my heart. My thoughts immediately went to Eric. I removed my iron blade from its sheath and pointed it at her. "If you've done anything to hurt him …"

Claudine's nervousness was in full view, but she didn't get up from the couch. It wasn't nervousness because of me or my little iron knife. I know that's not it. And to be honest, I wasn't exactly sure why she was nervous. Regardless, she played off the nervousness and said what she needed to say ... at least started. "Put that away," she said. She calmly flicked her hand at me. "I'm not going to hurt you or your precious Viking. There's been a centuries old truce. We're no longer allowed to kill vampires as they slumber. I'm not part of the elite group of vampire killers. Not yet, anyway." She then winked and smiled.

I shuddered. "What?"

She then shrugged her shoulders and ignored my question. "I have no reason to kill the vampire. He's done nothing to me or my family." Pointing at me, she said, "If anything, he may be a decent vampire. I say that because he seems to be partial to you and respectful. He keeps you protected. He obviously cares about you. You're living with him until you can move into your own place ... another, more safer place. He can't be all bad. He's safe from harm, dear cousin. Anyway, the Viking is not even an interest of mine at the moment. I promise. I came here to see you. I need to talk to you about a couple of things. The first being the night … your dad was … you know … and with grandfather." She cleared her throat. "I came here to apologize for my and grandfather's conduct in your home. We were wrong for our behavior. We had no right. You didn't deserve that."

"You've already done that. Apologized, I mean." I frowned as I sat in the chair across from Claudine. I slid my blade back into its sheath. "Why apologize again?"

"Because what we did was atrocious … unscrupulous and atrocious. There is no excuse for our behavior. It was beneath us," she confessed. "Trying to trick you into thanking us for what's justly yours. For trying to take advantage of your hopeful ignorance of our ways." She sighed briefly as she looked down at the floor. She shook her head in shame as she looked back up at me. "That's why I apologized … to counter the thank you that gave me for helping you with Quinn. I'm ashamed of what grandfather and I did. You're family, and we never should've done that to you." She was suddenly sitting taller, and her head was held high. The nervousness was gone. "Do you forgive us?"

"I do," I answered as I nodded.

"You mean it?"

"Yep."

Instead of saying thank you, she nodded. "So, we're friends?"

"Nope," I answered. "We're not friends. I still don't trust you or Niall, but we can work on forming a friendship if you're honest with me. Can you do that?"

"I can," she answered.

We'll see. "Why did you and Niall come to my home? I know why you came … late." A nasty dig. I know. "You're my faery godmother cousin. You're my protector. I don't like it, but it's a thing with faeries, I guess. Maybe if I'd been told about it or at least asked, I'd feel differently but that's for another day. I get why you came. Why did Niall come with you? Why did he choose that particular moment to visit me? Did he believe that because my dad was murdered I'd be more apt to fall for his line of bull poop?"

Claudine looked thoughtful before speaking. I'm guessing she doesn't want to say the wrong thing. "Grandfather is a very forceful person. He has an exceedingly strong personality and when he sees something he wants, he goes for it. Because he's always wanted to meet you, he chose that particular time because he knew that Fintan would not be arguable during his time of loss," she said. She closed her eyes and exhaled. "He wants to get to know you because you're different. You have the essential spark that's missing from our people. You're not like the rest of us, Sookie. When I say the rest of us, I mean the fae. None of us are telepathic. We don't have the spark, but you do. We don't know where those traits come from, the spark and telepathy, and it fascinates us. It fascinates grandpa. You're the one."

"The one for what?" I asked as I shook my head. "I don't understand."

Claudine sighed. "Our numbers are dwindling down to nothing. Many of our women are dying out because of the way of the earthly world. The water is contaminated. The foods are being doused in pesticides. The air is killing us all, fae and human alike. It's causing sterility in our men and women. The vampire/fae war killed off many of our people." She glanced down at her hands before continuing. "You're powerful, Sookie, and you're part fae. You could help us … save us.

"You are more powerful than any of us expected you to be. You're not supposed to be able to do what you've done." Her eyes were as bright as the stars as she continued. "You killed a vampire with your light." She began to shake her head no. "It's possible to do. Well, it's not supposed to be … not for you. You're a hybrid … a watered down hybrid. You're not supposed to be able to do that but the fact that you can is phenomenal. With your bloodline, spark, and telepathy, we can flourish into a stronger and more powerful family. Our people, our family could rule this world. No one would be able to challenge us."

She was soon teetering on the edge of the couch as she continued. "There are many male fae that you can meet. You could have your pick from the best families in the realm and not one family would turn you away. It doesn't and won't matter that you've been with a vampire or had his blood. You're intelligent, resourceful, compassionate, and you're a Brigant." She then pointed at me. "Not to mention your beauty. You're a Brigant through and through. That face. That voluptuous body. We're all beautiful as you can see." She stood and twirled around before returning to her seat. "So, what do you say? Will you procreate with a male fae and make some powerful fae babies? Rebirth the Brigant name?"

"What are you asking me?"

"Save us. Help us," she whispered.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. A stranger that's my faery godmother cousin wants me to have little faery babies to save a race of beings that don't seem to be particularly good people. I'm being asked to procreate with faery men that I don't know or love. I can't do that. That's not something that I can do. "I can't do that, Claudine." I shook my head no. "You can't ask me to do that."

She looked forlorn and sad. "You belong with the vampire now."

"I do," I agreed. "But that has nothing to do with it. I love and respect myself. Maybe if I were easily manipulated and believed the first thing a handsome man tells me, I'd be the woman for your cause. Maybe if I was lonely enough and had no one else to turn to, maybe then I'd entertain the idea but that's not me."

Thanks, Gran!

"I will not even consider doing that. I'm not going to be some broodmare for the fae." I shook my head in disbelief. "I can't believe you asked me to do something like that. You don't even know me, and I sure as hell don't know you or your grandfather for that matter." And then the savings book came to me. "Is that why Niall sent that bankbook to me? To … to pay me for my reproductive organs? My eggs? Oh, goodness." I shook my head. "I don't like this at all."

Claudine filled the living room with laughter. "Your reproductive organs?" She folded herself in half as she fell back on the couch and rolled onto the floor. She pointed at me and said, "Your reproductive organs!" She had her arms wrapped around her body and tears were rolling down her cheeks. She looked to be having the best laugh of her life and it was all thanks to me.

Pretty soon, her fit of giggles got the better of me. I was laughing with her. I didn't want to laugh with her, but her laugh was infectious as was the look on her face. "Your reproductive organs!" She gripped her side as she continued to laugh.

"That was ridiculous, wasn't it?" I asked.

Nodding, Claudine answered, "Yeah!"

It took us a few more seconds to compose ourselves, but we did it. "No one is paying you for anything," Claudine assured me as she returned to sitting on the couch. "You're a Brigant, and you've taken your rightful place with us. You're a member of the royal family. Everything you've received, you deserve."

"Promise?" I asked.

"Promise," she swore. "I only asked because we're desperate to increase our numbers. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to do. I assure you. There is no agenda. You owe us nothing. Your new life is yours because you wanted it. You claimed it when claimed Eric as your own to Bill, a vampire king."

They know all my business.

I was soon seated on the floor and looking up at Claudine. "Is that why Fintan never wanted me to meet with Niall? Because of what he wants to do with me?"

"No," she laughed. "Niall has many enemies. When my sisters and brother and I were younger, we weren't allowed to be around Niall until we'd learned to fight and fend for ourselves because of the number of enemies he has. Our parents wanted to keep us safe. Niall isn't safe to be around unless you're capable." She sighed. "Fintan has only one you. He would never risk your life … not that our parents would risk ours," she quickly added. "We would've had to learn to fight regardless. As far as I know, he's not aware that Niall wants you to marry a male fae, but he knows that Niall wants something." Claudine was soon sitting on the floor with me. "Did he ever let you know that you could've visited the realm when you were younger?"

I shook my head. "Never mentioned it."

"I wished he had," Claudine shared. She was smiling at me. "I would have really liked to have formed a relationship with you. You wouldn't be wary of us … of me."

I rolled my eyes. "I would still be wary of you. I don't just trust people because they say they're my family. I've learned that family betrays you just as quickly as strangers. My mom. My brother. Even my dad. You and Niall proved that when you came to my home."

"But," she began before I ceremoniously cut her off.

"But what, Claudine?" I asked. "I'm not upset. I'm just a bit confused. I'm supposed to just believe that you'd treat me better if I'd been younger when you met me? I would think that would make it easier for you to manipulate me. I have several examples of the manipulation tactics you've used and I'm an adult. I can tell you about them if you'd like to hear them."

She only stared.

"You and your grandfather tried to goad me into saying something that you both KNOW would bind me to you. You tried to make me feel obligated for something that you say is rightfully mine. Manipulating me. Spying on me." I gave her the thumbs up. "That's a great way to make me not wary of you. Keep up the good work." I shook my head. "I can only imagine what you'd do to me if I were a child."

She almost looked embarrassed.

"Are you serious right now?"

"Oh but, I am," she assured me. "Forgive us for all that we've done to you. We didn't know how to approach you. It was never our intention to purposely manipulate you. If I could take it all back, I would. I swear it.

This time, I stared.

Claudine continued to plead her case of obliviousness. "If you would give us another chance to prove that we're worthy of your trust, we can show you. Just think about it, okay? Think about our proposition. That's all I ask. To just think about it. To consider your people."

I smiled and nodded my head as I said no. "I'm not thinking about it because I'm not going to do it. I can't do that, Claudine. I'm not like you. I like being my own person and thinking for myself. I'm sure that you can understand that. You're obligated to Niall and the realm. I'm not. I am my own person." I offered my hand, and she took it. "I may not show it, but I'm happy to have met you. Maybe our first meeting wouldn't have been as awkward if you'd been more forthcoming, but I'm happy to have more family in my life. I'd like to get to know you better if that's alright with you but slowly. You're going to have to give me some time to trust you. Can we do that?"

"I'd like that." Claudine's grip tightened on my hand before releasing it. "I can help you with the issues with Quinn and find out what's going on, but I can't participant. Faeries aren't allowed to intrude on vampire issues. I can even help you with learning your magic if you're up to it." She almost looked shy after making the offer. "If that's something you'd like to do, that is."

"It is. I'd like that too," I assured her.

"So, the stuff that's going on, is this about Pam being taken and Quinn coming after you?"

"Yeah."

She shrugged her shoulders. "Fine. I'll help you."

I clapped my hands. "Good. I need it." I pointed in the direction of the kitchen and offered her a drink and something to eat. "Eric bought tons of food and drinks for me while I'm staying here. There's more than enough. I make a mean chicken salad."

"Maybe another time," Claudine shared.

"Okay," I said. "Now. Were you with me when Quinn tried to … do what he did to me?"

"I was."

I waited.

"As I previously stated, I couldn't interfere," she shared. "You had the means to take care of your enemy. You didn't need me and because you didn't me, I couldn't interfere. It's meant to strengthen you … teach you to fight. To be strong and resilient. You are a Brigant. You can and will do some of the most amazing things with your life, and you will do them without me. Now, if you're in a bind with more enemies than you can handle, I've got you."

"Like the parking lot," I said.

"Like the parking lot," she agreed. "You weren't prepared. You didn't know what type of person Quinn was. You didn't know his history. I did." Her dark eyes gleamed with mischief and danger. "If things had gone differently, I would've killed Quinn, and Niall would've disposed of the body. No one would've known."

Nice to know.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to bounce something off you." I didn't give her a chance to reply. "A few nights ago, I had an encounter with a woman that called herself Dawn Greene. She said that there are some things going on in Bon Temps that should be investigated. I'm under the belief that she's speaking of my mom, but I must be sure that there's nothing more going on there. Is there any way that you can find out if there's more to what Dawn said? Find out where she lived? She used an alias when she worked for Pam. She went by the name Kensie. I'm not sure of the last name she used."

"Sure," Claudine said. She stood up from the floor and offered her hand to me. As I offered her my hand, she pulled me up from the floor. "I'm going to get you to trust me, and I'm going to prove that we can and will be the best of friends."

"We'll see," I said.

"So," she said as she returned to her former place on the couch. "What can you tell me about Dawn Greene?"

I shook my head as I said, "Not much. I know that she dated the vampire called Maxwell Lee and thought that he was in love with her when he sacrificed her for his own benefit. Before dying, she said that something was in Bon Temps but didn't get to clarify." I closed my eyes briefly before saying, "She died in my arms."

"Have you seen many deaths since taking your place in our world?" Claudine seemed concerned for me when she asked the question.

"My first night there … after my job interview, I assume that Long Shadow killed the guy that manhandled me. I didn't see what happened, but I know that Long Shadow left the bar with the guy. My second night, I saw Long Shadow kill the man that I questioned and then Eric killed him." I looked up at the ceiling before continuing. "I was there when Eric killed Liam and Malcolm. They had a half-dead girl lying on the couch, and Eric and I put her in the back of an ambulance."

Claudine's eyes widened. "You helped put her in there?"

I shook my head no. "But I was there. I was a party to it because I asked him to not let her die there. She wanted to go home. If we'd left her there, she probably would've never been found. I couldn't allow that to happen. She needed to be found. She needed to go home."

"He did that for you?" Claudine sounded surprised at the revelation.

"I guess so," I admitted. "If he hadn't, I would have taken her somewhere so that she could be found." He did do it for me. He did it because I asked him to. "So, yeah. He did do it for me. I didn't want her to be left behind, and Eric put her body in the back of his car … for me."

She smiled at me. "You're a light in the dark, dear cousin."

"Thanks." I inhaled and continued. "I watched the Weres and vampires that were protecting Pam get murdered but that was on video." I sighed. "I've seen more death than I care to admit to. You know," I began. "I knew that being in this world would take me places I've never expected to go, but I never realized that it's as dangerous as it is. I know that grandpa has killed to keep me safe, and I know that faeries are vicious creatures."

Smiling brightly and sitting taller, Claudine giggled. "Thank you. I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

I stared at her in disbelief but made no comment about her proud viciousness. "I know that grandpa has killed to keep me safe, and it's who we are, but I've been raised in the human world all my life. I … I"

"You're afraid of what you'll become?"

I shook my head no. "That's what I'm not afraid of. What if I grow to like killing? What if I lose everything I am and don't regret it? What if …?"

She came to sit next to me. "Don't be afraid, Cousin. You won't lose who you are … if that's not what you want. Is that what you want? Do you want to be different than what you are? Is that why you took your place here?"

"No," I promised her. "I'm just afraid that I won't be me anymore because I love what I do." I turned towards Claudine and rested my back against the arm of the couch. "The night that Dawn was killed, I didn't feel bad for her. At first I did but then I didn't. I didn't feel anything. I felt that she put herself in that predicament and if she hadn't, she would still be alive. How can I still be me when I'm willingly putting these traitors to death?"

Claudine frowned. "How is it your fault that they've died? You didn't force her to join Maxwell Lee. You didn't force her to betray Pam. You read her mind and found her deceptions. You did nothing wrong." She waited a few minutes and asked, "Is this because of her your father?"

My shoulders slumped as I cried.

"Sookie," she said as she held me in her arms. She consoled me as I cried, and I must admit. Being that close to her made me feel connected to her … safe. She kissed my forehead before releasing me. "You didn't do that. You didn't have anything to do with any of that. Your father knew what could happen. He's been in the supe world most of his life. Look," she said as she gripped my shoulders as she looked in my eyes. "You're a brave and special woman. Your family loves you. Family makes sacrifices for each other ... especially when you love each other. That's what we do. What happened to your dad, that isn't your fault. What's meant to be is meant to be. Your dad was an amazing man. He loved you dearly, and he showed that because he died for you. If that's not love, I don't know what is. Don't feel bad for things that you can't control. Feel good for the things you've done that have saved lives, like Pam and the many people you've helped your dad save." She used her thumb to wipe a tear from my cheek before placing her hands in her lap.

That surprised me, and I don't know why. They have been watching me. "You know about me helping dad with cases?"

"Yeah," she stated. "He bragged about you. I've been working at Crawdad's for years. He would come in there for lunch all the time. He bragged about how amazing his baby girl is. Though he never told people what you did for him, you were his pride and joy. He was so proud of you. 'My Sookie is one of the most amazing people I've ever met'. He would then be off and running about how wonderful you are." She had a forlorn look on her face. "I've tried introducing myself to your dad, several times I might add, but he always had those damned iron weapons on the table."

That was delightful to know ... not that he had the weapons on the table but that he was proud of me It feels good to know that not only grandpa shared that with me, but Claudine did too. He bragged about me. He was proud of me. Looking at Claudine, I asked, "What's going to happen with my dad? Are we going to have a funeral … a vigil or anything like that? I called grandpa this morning, and he didn't answer."

"Sookie," Claudine began. "Because your dad died in the way of the fae, he's gone to the Summerlands. His body is in Faery. It no longer belongs here. He's home now." She shook her head no. "There will be no funeral here. As far as the town of Bon Temps knows, your dad has left your mom and moved away."

"I can't say goodbye," I whispered.

"You did," she assured me.

No. Not like I wanted to. Not like I needed to.

"How did Fintan know that dad was gone?"

"When we die, the fae, our souls go to our oldest living family member and that family member for your dad, it happened to be Fintan," she explained. "We're given one last chance to say what we need to say to our kin. That's how Fintan knew to come to you."

"Will I be able to do that?" I asked. "Will I be able to say goodbye to my eldest family member?"

"Yeah," she confirmed. "You've taken your place."

With sad I eyes, I asked, "Does my brother know what happened?"

She shook her head no. "Not yet. He talks too much. He's not capable of … he doesn't seem to have the ability to … he's not quite able to … Sookie, I don't want to ..."

I chuckled. "I get it."

"I didn't mean to imply that your brother's an idiot."

I shrugged my shoulders. "But he is."

"Yeah, he is," she agreed. "Can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

"At first we thought that Jason was going to be the one. Unfortunately, I met him. Once I spoke to him, I knew for sure that he was not the one. I was wrong."

"Are you sure you met Jason Stackhouse?"

She laughed. "Yeah. I knew that he was brother once I saw him. There's no mistaking the Brigant genes. We are an exceptionally beautiful family. He's handsome. He looks exactly like an uncle of ours. We figured that since the resemblance was too uncanny, he had to be the one. As I previously said, I was wrong. Plus, he's such as horndog. He couldn't answer any of my questions was because was too busy trying to get in my panties."

I laughed. "You did meet him."

"Well," Claudine said as she stood up. "I guess I'll be going. It's been a good time … talking with you and all. And I'll see what I can find out about Kensie … Dawn Greene, I mean. I'll check it out tonight. I have nothing else to do. Will you be free tomorrow? Maybe we can do lunch?"

"Okay," I said. "Deal. Where do you want to meet?"

She shrugged. "You can make the chicken salad and I can make a pecan caramel cheesecake."

"It's a date," I assured her.

"I think that we'll be great friends. I'm going to earn your trust, and I'm going to help you."

"We'll see," I said. "See you tomorrow at noon?"

"I'll be here. Hey," she said.

"Yeah?"

She smiled. "You're going to be fine. You don't have to worry about losing who you are. You don't have to worry about being anything more than you are right now. You're too good to be any other way." She hugged me and kissed my cheek just before a very loud pop filled the room, and she was gone.

Maybe the supe world won't be so bad after all.