Chapter 4

Nicole sat in the passenger seat of her truck staring at the Clubhouse. She wanted to be there to see Lyla, be there for her but as she spotted Jax's bike in the line-up she wasn't sure if she was ready to see him least because she hadn't told Happy what happened between them as she had decided given everything they had been through the drama between her and her cousin was the last thing Happy needed.

"Uh, Nicole..."

Nicole turned to look at Phil. She couldn't help but smile at him. Since arriving at her house he had carefully helped her into into the truck, drove just slightly below the speed limit and he was looking at her with worry. She knew that some of that was because of his fear of Happy but also because he knew that she was pregnant. It was cute.

"You ok?"

"Yeah I'm ok Phil." She said with a smile before her eyes returned forward, this time focusing on Happy who had just dismounted his bike.

Taking a deep breath Nicole reached for the handle of door causing Phil to quickly open his door and race around the truck to help her out of the truck. Nicole smiled at him, taking the hand that was being offered to her until he saw Gemma walking across the lot, she was clearly eyeing Phil.

"Phil."

"Yes Nicole."

"I appreciate you taking a little extra care of us." He smiled at Nicole's words. "But we need to keep the secret for a little longer. So less of treating me like glass, especially around my aunt ok." Phil looked over his shoulder and saw Gemma looking at them. He looked back to Nicole.

"Sorry Nicole."

"It's fine Phil, You're good." Nicole smiled at him with a wink.

"Someone seems to have a crush." Happy looked over his shoulder to where Gemma was looking as Gemma came to stand by him. He just smirked as he looked at Nicole and Phil. He would be lying if the thought hadn't crossed his mind but he also knew that Phil wasn't that stupid to make moves on his girl, especially as she was carrying his kid.

Gemma knew that she wasn't going to get an answer from Happy so she continued. "She good?" Happy's eyes went back to Gemma when he heard the shift in her tone.

"Yeah. I've got her." Gemma nodded again knowing that she wasn't going to get anymore out of Happy. He always had been a man of few words. So again she continued.

"New patch." Happy nodded. "Gonna keep my son alive?"

"You know it."

"Good." Gemma spoke with a smile before closing the gap and dropping a kiss on his cheek.

"Hey." Gemma watched as Happy didn't even look at Nicole before snaking his pack of smokes from his cut. It seemed that he was avoiding her gaze and Nicole looked like she had just taken a hit to the stomach which proved to Gemma that she wasn't the only who noticed and this wasn't just her reading to much into a situation.

Something was off.

"You ok baby?" Gemma asked moving closer to her niece. Nicole could see the questioning gaze and she couldn't help but wonder if she knew. It made Nicole feel very self conscious, so she plastered on a smile and answered the question.

"I'm fine Gem."

Gemma knew the answer was a lie, but something told her that she was not going to get any truth from her nice, but as Nicole moved her hair over her shoulder exposing her neck Gemma saw the yellow bruises which looked like finger marks. Experience told Gemma that those marks were not from the accident, these were older and those were from a hand.

She had witnessed Jax grab her but his hands were not around her throat. Gemma looked back at Happy. Were those his marks? And all of sudden Gemma was concerned. Had her original fear about her niece hooking up with the Killiah been right?

"How's Lyla?" Nicole asked bringing Gemma from her thoughts and her attention back to her.

"Not good."

"We should head inside." Both women turned to Happy.

"Ok." Nicole spoke going straight to Happy's side . As they headed to the clubhouse Gemma hung back and watched them before walking up to Phil who was also heading inside the clubhouse. She reached out stopping him moving any further.

"Them two ok?" Gemma asked curiously, eyeing him for any reaction.

"Uh...yeah there fine Gemma." Gemma nodded at let him go but his eyes had told her a different story. He was hiding something.

Jax looked up from his coffee as the door to the clubhouse opened. Nicole. Her eyes met his but her eyes were quickly pulled from his as his brothers gathered round her.

He knew that their last interaction was not a good one, but when he had heard about the blowback and that she had been hurt all he wanted to do was see her check that she was ok, apologise but he wasn't sure if she would accept it and he couldn't blame her if she didn't.

Getting up he walked over to the crowd that surrounded her, he waited for his brothers to part.

"Hey." He spoke moving closer to her. "You ok?" Nicole just nodded.

"Where's Lyla?"

"Opie's dorm. She'll be happy to see you." Again Nicole nodded and went to head pass him but Jax stopped her. Nicole instantly pulled her wrist free from his hold. "Can we talk?"

Nicole looked back at Happy. She could see his eyes narrowing in on her and Jax but because she hadn't told Happy what had happened between she didn't want to draw attention to them. "Sure."

Nicole followed Jax into the chapel closing the doors behind them.

"Look Nic, I just want to say sorry..."

"What for this time?" Nicole snapped cutting him off. "You laying hands on me, or the accident that came as blowback from your games."

"Happy told you?"

"Full disclosure." Jax nodded. He was annoyed that Happy had told her everything but he had been guilty of doing that himself with her, so he couldn't say anything to Happy, plus she was right he was responsible for her blowback.

"I'm sorry for both." Nicole wanted to remain angry at him, but part of this full disclosure meant that Happy had told her about Tara and now standing in front of him she really saw how much her cousin was hurting too.

"How are the boys?" Jax was surprised by the question and the sudden change in her tone but the fact that she wasn't looking at him the way she had been when she first locked eyes with him so he was grateful.

"Missing their Mom."

"What's happening with Tara?"Jax shrugged.

"She won't see me. I only know what Lowen tells me which isn't much at the moment."

"And Clay?"

"He's out of our life for good."

"Somehow I find that hard to believe." Nicole muttered under her breath. "I should go and see Lyla." Nicole went to head out but Jax stood in her way.

"Are we good Nic?" Nicole sighed before looking back at him.

"Honestly, I dont know. I mean I love you, but I can't keep being the punching bag. I know I have fucked things up, made mistakes..."

"I shouldn't have put all that on you."Jax confessed cutting her words off. "It wasn't fair and I shouldn't have hurt you." Nicole nodded.

She would be lying if she said she didn't miss him especially now. Being in her situation Jax would have been the person that she turned to, but she wasn't ready to forgive him, fully trust him right now. But she also couldn't help but feel for him. She closed the gap between them.

"We'll be ok Jay. We just need time and right now you need to focus on your family and I need to focus on mine." Jax frowned at the last words but before he could say anything there was a knock on the chapel doors which caught both of their attention. "Yeah." Jax spoke.

"We need to head out." Tig confirmed as his eyes darted between the two cousins.

Jax nodded and Tig backed out of the room leaving the two alone again. Jax looked back at Nicole. But before he could say anything Nicole spoke.

"Make them pay." She stated before placing a kiss on his cheek and walking out of the chapel. Her eyes catching Happy's before disappearing down the hall. However she didn't get very far.

"What was that about?" Happy asked

"Just a little cousin bonding." Nicole spoke with a sigh. But she could see the concern although she couldn't help but wonder if it was towards her or Jax. Especially given his new rank in the club. "You heading out?" Nicole asked hoping to change the subject.

"Yeah. Phil's gonna take you to your appointment. Keep close to him and when your done come back here."

"When will you be back?"

"When shit's done."

"Ok."

Happy noticed that she wasn't really looking at him and he ran a hand over his shaved head. He knew that he was being distant with her. When she had been laid up in Tacoma the anger he had towards her about what she did or rather tried to do disappeared, but now they were home back in Charming, back in her house where he had learnt the truth he felt that anger creep back in and that was why he was being distant with her, because he couldn't show her that anger. But he could see that maybe that distance was hurting her more.

He reached out for her, his hand resting on her cheek as he gently pulled her towards him. "I'll come back, take you home." Happy watched her nod. "You're gonna be alright." Happy told her before dropping a kiss on top of her head.

"I better go see Lyla." Happy nodded stepping back giving her space to move. He watched her disappear . He was starting to worry about her.

Nicole knocked on the door before gently opening it. Lyla was sat on the bed the sheets pulled around her, but Nicoles eyes went straight to the cuts littering her beautiful face. As their eyes met Lyla started to sob. Nicole rushed over to her and pulled her into a hug.

"Sssh, it's ok. It's going to be ok."

Nicole held her for a long time, letting Lyla cry it out before she pulled back to look at her.

"I didn't know Nic. I just needed the money, I didn't know it was torture porn."

"If you needed money..."

"I don't want charity." Lyla kind of snapped as she grabbed a tissue off the side and dabbed at her eyes.

"Your family Lyla it wouldn't be charity." Lyla nodded but Nicole could tell that she didn't agree and that made her sad because Lyla and the kids they were Opies family which meant they were the clubs family. But she understood the pride that Lyla was feeling. "Im sorry this happened. Is there anything that I can do? What about the kids do you need me..."

"Mary has them. She came to help while I did this gig. She's going to stay." Lyla looked up at Nicole. "I don't want them seeing me like this." Nicole nodded in understanding she was just surprised that Mary was stepping up.

"Well I'll drop by, you think this is bad." Nicole pointed to her injures. "Those kids having to spend quality time with Mary, god help them." Lyla laughed and Nicole was glad to see it. But the smile soon faded.

"How are you? I heard about the accident."

"I'm ok just a few scrapes." Nicole answered trying to play down what happened and the fact that she had a shard of glass stuck in her side that which could have easily killed her and the baby.

"I never got chance to see you before you left for Tacoma." Nicole knew exactly what question Lyla was about to ask. "Did you..."

"I didn't get the abortion." She watched as Lyla's eyes widened in shock. "Wendy showed up, and..." When Wendy had revealed what Happy and Jax had done, Nicole had been so taken aback and angry that she just left. When the woman called her name again she just looked at her before storming down the corridor and out of the clinic. And then everything went to shit.

"Nicole?" Lyla spoke seeing that Nicole had got lost in her thoughts. "What happened?"

"Short story. Happy knows. He knows I tried to get rid of the baby."

"Are you ok?"

"We are now." Nicole said with a smile even though she wasnt sure if that was true and Lyla also did not need to know that Happy basically tried to choke the life out of her. "Look you need to focus on you ok. Don't worry about me."

"Im here if you need anything."

"Right back at ya." The exchanged a hug before Nicole got to her feet dropping a kiss ontop of her blonde hair. "Rest up ok. I'll go make you some tea." Lyla nodded.

Nicole headed for the door but before she turned the handle she looked back at Lyla. "No one else knows about the baby. Happy and I we...we don't..."

"I wont say anything. I'll keep the secret." Nicole smiled at Lyla before leaving the room.

Nicole sat on the bed in a room at St Thomas. She'd had her check up and all was fine with the baby and her stitches were healing fine but she still just sat there because Nicole needed to be alone.

When Lyla had fallen asleep, Nicole went into the bar. She was happy to see Abel and Thomas and enjoyed being around their innocence but she just couldn't shake Gemma. Nicole felt her eyes on her on the whole time she was with the kids. This was just what Nicole didn't want. She loved her aunt but she was smart and Nicole knew that it would only be a matter of time before she worked out her secret and that was the last thing she needed. So when Phil came to get her for the appointment she was glad to leave because she was feeling suffocated.

So that was why she was enjoying the silence, unfortunately it was quickly interrupted with a knock on the door. With a sigh she spoke. "Come in." She watched as Phil entered.

"You ready to go?"

"Sure." Nicole slid off the bed and grabbed her jacket along with the sonogram that was handed to her by the nurse. "Lets go." Nicole said as she passed by Phil tucking the photo in her back pocket.

They drove in silence, Nicole mindlessly staring out of the window lost in her thoughts until she felt the truck come to a stop. As she went to look at Phil her eyes took in the scene before them. The road was cordoned off, police and ambulance services were everywhere and crowds were gathered in the streets.

"Wonder what's going on?"

"I think its the school." Phil spoke before looking at Nicole. He watched her eyes widened. Both of them knew what a scene like this at a school meant.

"Take me home Phil."

"Uh Hap said we to go back to the clubhouse..."

"Take me home Phil."

"Nic..."

"Take me home Phil. Now."