Chapter 20

The ringing echoed in her ears and the heat was intense despite the body that was on top on her, protecting her. Nicole looked over to the clubhouse that was now engulfed in flames. Her home was destroyed. But before she could watch it crumble any longer her eyes were torn away as she felt his hand on her face, her eyes locked with his and she knew the unspoken question.

"Im ok... We're ok."

She watched his eyes scan over her and only once he could see no injury Happy moved himself from on top her and got to his feet. Nicole accepted his hand as he pulled her to her feet too and Nicole felt herself lean into his strong body as her legs went weak beneath her.

She looked up at Happy and could see his concern but before she could say anything there was loud bang from the Clubhouse as another explosion went off. She felt Happy shield her again but as their eyes locked everything around them went crazy.

Screams erupted around them and people were shouting, Roosevelt and the other officer were trying to contain everyone pushing people back from the flames as the Sons got family members back to their feet.

She looked back at Happy. "Go." She spoke knowing that Happy needed to go support his brothers. "Go." She repeated before leaning on her tip toes kissing the side of his mouth. She watched him hesitate before leaving her to go to his brothers. Nicole closed her eyes taking a deep breath when the cries from Thomas and Abel caused her attention to shift. Tara had both the boys wrapped in her arms.

She felt a hand on her arm and she realised that people were rushing around including her aunt asking and checking if she was ok. Nicole just nodded because she was distracted. Her eyes were scanning the lot until they finally landed on the people she was looking for.

Ignoring those around her Nicole rushed across the lot until she reached the people who she was looking for. All 3 of them looked terrified. Nicole's eyes scanned over them, they didn't look hurt.

"Are you ok?" Ellie and Kenny nodded but Piper didn't say anything. He was the youngest of the three. Nicole crouched down in front of him. "Piper, are you hurt?" And that was when he raised his hand and Nicole noticed that it was grazed and bleeding. She was relieved it was nothing more serious.

Sirens broke through the crying and hysteria.

Nicole looked over her shoulder and found herself caught in a daze as she watched the fire fighters trying to maintain the blaze but Nicole felt a wave of something wash over her and she suddenly felt light headed but as she felt a body next to her she looked down as Piper hugged her clearly scared. Pushing down the sick feeling that was washing over her, Nicole looked towards the office, she saw Gemma ushering in Tara with Thomas and Abel.

She looked back at the 3 children. "Come on." She spoke as she guided them to the office. "Piper has cut his hand." Nicole spoke as she entered. She watched as Tara rushed into Doctor mode and came to Pipers aide.

Nicole moved aside as more people entered the office. Backing herself into the corner Nicole just stood there watching as everyone rushed around her. Out of nowhere she felt like she couldn't breathe, and the sickness washed over her once again. She needed air.

Rushing out of the office she hit a body. She looked up to see Lorca." You alright?" Nicole just nodded and rushed away from him.

Lorca watched as she headed over to Uners trailer, disappearing behind it. He looked over to Happy. He was standing by Jax and Chibs. They were caught in a heated argument. Roosevelt was demanding answers but the club couldn't give nothing, this was the Irish but Jax needed time to think and right now with all the chaos there was no time.

Nicole lent against the cool metal of the trailer. She closed her eyes trying to calm her breathing, pushing down the nauseous feeling she had. She was panicking she knew it but she needed to get a grip of herself, people needed her. Running her finger through her hair she continued to take deeps breaths.

As the sickness subsided Nicole pushed herself away from the trailer but that was when the pain seared through her. Her hand shot to her stomach but as she went to move again she was hit with another shot of pain in her stomach which this time caused her drop to her knees. My baby.

Lorca told himself he would give her 5 minutes, understanding that she probably needed a minute. She had just watched her home get blown up. But when it hit the end of those 5 minutes and she didn't reappear he decided to check on her. As he approached the trailer and turned the corner he froze when her saw Nicole on a heap on the floor.

"Shit..." He rushed to her and crouched down beside her. She was conscious but he could see the pain and fear in her eyes and then she cried out in pain and he noticed that her hand was on her stomach. "Shit." He muttered again.

He got to his feet leaving her side. He started to jog across the lot till he was in earshot. "HAP...HAP." On shouting his name a second time he finally got his brothers attention but unfortunately he also got the attention of everyone else. But he couldn't worry about that now. He looked directly at Happy and cocked his head over his shoulder before heading back towards the trailer.

Jax watched as Lorca started to jog back from where he came. Jax could see confusion on everyone's face bar Happy's and that's when it clicked. If Lorca needed Happy it was for one reason or rather on person. Nicole. Jax did a quick scan of the lot and he couldn't see her.

He started to follow Happy who was already half way across the lot. But it wasn't just Jax who was following him, so was Chibs and an even more intrigued Roosevelt who had not joined the dots at this point.

Happy knew it was Nicole, even with the distance he could see it in Lorca's eyes.

Rushing past people not caring if he knocked into them because he needed to get to her but as he reached the other side he came to a sudden stop when he saw her crying in pain on the floor.

Instantly he went to her dropping to knees, he cupped her face forcing her to look at him, tears glistening in her eyes. His eyes briefly left hers to where her hands were resting on her stomach. The kid.

"What's wrong with her?" Jax asked but Happy ignored his question and looked to Roosevelt who was standing amongst them.

"She needs an ambulance." Happy spoke directly to Roosevelt. He could see his hesitation which pissed him off. "NOW." Happy snapped. "SHE'S PREGNANT."

Jax watched as Happy paced the floor. He should still be at the clubhouse, but upon hearing Happy saying she was pregnant and seeing Nicole crying out in pain Jax had to be here. Tara, his boys, Nero, Gemma, Chibs, Tig, Lorca, Bobby were all here too.

Roosevelt hadn't fought them on all leaving even though he had been at the clubhouse to arrest Nero for Erins murder, but it seemed that he was giving them a break. Candy Eglee was here to watch Nero, Roosevelt had made that clear but Jax has still respected the decision. Candy knew the club, they had endangered her life once due to blowback but they had also saved it. Candy was like Unser she understood the need for the club in Charming and Jax had to admit he was grateful for the breather Roosevelt was giving them.

"Here." Jax looked over his shoulder at his mother who handed him a Styrofoam cup full of typical hospital coffee he presumed. He accepted the drink. "Did you know about this?" Jax rolled his eyes. This was the third time she had asked him the question since she heard the truth about Nicoles condition.

"No." He repeated taking a sip of the coffee as his eyes went back to Happy.

Jax knew nothing. Both of them had been keeping this secret since god knows when. But seeing his cousin in that pain following tonight's actions made him think of his wife. He too was keeping his own secret.

Jax looked back at his mother. "Just leave it for tonight. Ok." He could tell she was reluctant but she nodded in agreement. Jax walked over to where his wife was sat with their boys. Thankful all were unharmed or as far as they knew.

"Hey babe."

"Hey." Tara shifted as he took a sit beside her.

"Seeing Nic in here, got me thinking, you think maybe you should get checked out?" Jax kept his voice low.

And this was what Tara feared. Hearing Nicole was pregnant, changed everything and basically really fucked up her plan. Like now if Jax was insistent in coming with her for a check up, he would know her truth.

"I'm ok. I wasn't hurt by the explosion." She could see that eased Jax's worry. But she needed more. "Was this the Irish?" It was the smallest of nods but it confirmed her suspicions. "We could have all been killed Jax." She watched his eyes move over to Thomas and Abel before looking back at her.

"I know."

He lent forward and kissed her, his lips catching hers. Tara was scared. Even more scared for her family now after tonight. She needed them out and away from all of this.

No one was telling him anything, he felt like he was back in Tacoma. He needed to know if she was ok if they were both ok.

He felt a hand of his shoulder and he turned to see Jax but before he could say anything Nicole's doctor came down the hall.

"Mr Lowman?"

"Thats me."

The Doctor watched as the bald headed tattooed biker step forward. It wasn't a rare sight seeing the Sons of Anarchy walk these halls or around this town but there was something about having 4 sets of eyes of their eyes all narrowing in on him that made him uneasy. He cleared his throat suddenly feeling very comfortable.

"She ok? The Kid." The Doctor looked at Happy but he also noticed Jax Teller and Gemma Teller were now standing behind the man he now knew as Mr Lowman. He wasn't the only one who noticed it because the man in front of him nodded which he took as a sign to continue.

"They are both fine. I would like to keep her over night though."

"But you said they were ok." The Doctor didn't feel comfortable discussing his patients details so openly even if her partner was. He placed his hand on the man's arm surprised by how easily he followed him.

"They are fine but Nicole seems a little under nourished. Has she been eating and drinking properly?"

"I don't know." Happy answered honestly. The doctor nodded.

"She needs to be eating, three meals a day. Drinking lots of water. That's what led to the pains she had tonight. She needs rest Mr Lowman. No stress. It's critical." Happy nodded,

"Can I see her?" The Doctor smiled.

"Of course, she's been asking for you. Now just to warn you she is attached to a drip to give her fluids. And there is a monitor on her and her stomach so we can monitor both heartbeats."

"You said they were ok." Happy rasped

"It just precaution. She's down the hall fist on the right."

"Thanks Doc."

Happy ate up the ground and pushed the door open. He just stared at her for a moment, seeing the wires attached to her stomach and the scared look on her face made his chest tighten. He could have lost both of them.

He moved to her side and reached for her hand dropping a kiss on top her head, she leaned into him. Clearly everything had be weighing heavier on his girl more than he realised.

"Doc said that you've not been eating or drinking enough." He felt her pull back as she looked up at him.

"I don't...It's just, It's all been a little hectic recently."

"Gotta eat. Ain't just you you've got to look after."

"I know. I'm sorry." Happy sighed this wasn't all on her. Shit had been hot on the club right now and he knew this shit affected her he just hadn't realised how much. "Im not coping with all of this Hap." He watched as used her free hand to wipe away her tears.

"I know." He kissed her head again but their moment was interrupted. Both eyes looked up to see Jax entering the room.

Nicole let go of his hand and quickly wiped away her tears as if trying to hide it, hiding it just like she had been hiding the fact that she was pregnant. But there she was her bump clearly visible now as it was laid bare with monitors across the small bump. How had he missed this? Why had she kept it a secret?

"Hey, can I uh get a minute." Jax watched as Nicole looked to Happy and gave a nod. Jax watched as Happy kissed her but as he made his way towards the door Jax stepped into his path, his hand extended. Happy accepted the hand and Jax's other hand came up and Jax pulled him into a hug.

Nicole was relived to see the exchange as she thought that Jax was going to hold this against Happy, blame him for keeping the secret.

As Happy left Jax's eyes returned to her, he walked over to her and grabbed the chair and pulled it closer to her bed. She watched as his eyes lingered on stomach for a moment. It made him fearful. What had happened tonight was all his fault. He could have killed them all but they had managed to survive but here was Nicole lying in a hospital bed hooked up to all these monitors. This could have easily been Tara.

"I'm sorry." Nicole could seen the tears in his eyes and this wasn't just about her.

"Jay."

"No." He shook his head and he knew that she was going to try and say all of this wasn't on him but it was. The Irish had retaliated tonight because of him. And now his cousin and her unborn child couldn't have paid the price "I did this."

Nicole watched as his eyes went to her stomach.

"Don't do this." Nicole spoke causing his eyes to come back to hers. "You can't go down this spiral. Club is going to need you now." She leant forward and rested her hand on his cheek. "The reason this hurts so much is because to us that clubhouse is our home and we lost that tonight. But you know what knowing my child is ok, seeing Hap, seeing you, knowing that there is probably another handful of Sons out there and Gemma." Nicole spoke with a smirk. "It doesn't matter about where we are as long as were still family and we stand by on another. Jay the Irish can blow up our clubhouse, they can come at us hard but we have something they don't have."

"Yeah and what's that?" His tears in his eyes reflected her own.

"You."

"I don't know if I believe that any more. I thought taking the gavel I would be able to make a difference, change this club but sitting in that chair has made me make decisions I never thought I would."

Nicole would agree the gavel changes people but Jax's heart was still the same even if it was a little more tainted, he knew right from wrong and that always came out in the end, and right now Nicole knew that Jax would do the right thing here, that he wouldn't let his rage blind him.

"You just have to have faith in yourself and your brothers, they all love you Jay. You need to trust them."

Jax nodded taking her hand on his face in his. His other hand wiping away his tears. Nicole always knew the right words.

Sensing the heaviness in the moment Nicole decided to lighten the mood.

"Soooo, how pissed is Gemma? Her words causing Jax to scoff.

"Pissed, but you know my mother, she'll have this kid out your arms the second its born."

"Ah yes the overbearing grandma."

"Trust me it does have it's perks. Never short of a babysitter."

"True."

"Can't believe I missed this." Jax spoke as he took the mood back serious. "Why?"

"Needed to get it straight in my head first. Hap and I didn't exactly plan this." Jax watched as she diverted her eyes away from him to her stomach and a bad feeling churned in the pit of the stomach.

"Can I ask you something, and I need you to answer me honestly." Nicole nodded. "You and Hap. Has he...Has he ever laid hands on you."

And there was the question that they had all been dancing round. Nicole thought about telling him what actually happened the night that Happy found the abortion papers, but Nicole really looked at her cousin and he looked broken. So Nicole decided to keep this one to herself, plus it wasn't like it was a problem, Happy wasn't abusing her, he had reacted in anger when he thought she had killed their kid.

"No. I know Gemma had thoughts on this but I promise after Ryan, I would not let anyone do that to me again." She squeezed his hand. "Im ok. Happy loves me and I love him so much. We shouldn't work but we do." Jax had to admit he to was surprised at how well they did work together. "Can I, um, can you answer me something. Honestly." Jax nodded. "Are you happy? Tara told me about the baby." Jax let go of her hand and lent back in his chair.

"Bout her being pregnant, I mean of course. I think it's a girl..." Nicole smiled Jax would be a great dad to a girl. "But I feel so far away from her right now and I don't know how to get her back."

"You need to speak to her make it right Jax, before it becomes to late and she does something stupid, or you do something stupid. Only you can sort this."

"Well it's not just me." Nicole looked at him confused. "You and my mother could play a little nicer with her."

"She say something?" But before Jax could answer the door opened and Happy appeared. He nodded to Jax. Without any words exchanged Jax got to his feet. He dropped a kiss on top of Nicole's head before heading to the door and following Happy out.

"What is it?" Jax asked closing the door behind him.

"Eglee's takin Nero in and your Mom's kicking off."

"Shit, ok." Jax ran a hand over his face although he wasn't surprised that his mother was causing a scene, he just thought they would have more time. "I'll handle it." Happy nodded but before he could re-enter Nicole's room Jax's words stopped him. "My cousin... are you here for her, the kid? She's not a girl you can fuck and..."

"I'm here." Happy snapped knowing exactly where Jax was going with this. But he was pissed. Had he not proved himself yet that he wasn't just fucking with her. He got Jax's and everyone's concerns at the start but hadn't he proved his loyalty to her. He was the one that had stood by her when everyone else gave up. When Jax gave up and that was why he was pissed. "Soon as the kids here, I'll be putting my mark on her. She's mine."

Jax nodded before extending his hand. Happy looked at it for a moment before reaching out and shaking his hand.

"You need me out there." Happy asked not forgetting his place in the club even if he was pissed right now.

Jax shook his head. "Go be with her man."

Happy wasn't going to argue with that. As he watched Jax leave Happy opened the door to Nicole's room, and as he pushed open the door her eyes locked straight with his.

He walked over to her taking a seat on the bed and her hand in his.

"You alright?" Happy asked cautiously not liking that he had been pushed out of the room leaving her with Jax, especially after he again challenged him on his feelings for the girl in front of him. Happy wondered what he needed to do to make everyone understand that she was his, he couldn't put his mark on her for another few months.

But was it just everyone else or did she doubt his feelings for her, her place with him.

"Yeah. Im just tired." She spoke as she lay her head back on the pillow.

"Scared me tonight kid."

"Sorry." She mumbled but he shook his head. She didn't need to apologise. He was the one that needed to apologise he had taken his eyes off her with all that was going on with the club. How had he missed her not drinking and eating?

"Nothing to be sorry about." His hand moved up moving a stray piece of hair from her eyes. "Should have been here."

"Hap. You've been where you've needed to be, the club right now it's...we're..." Nicole couldn't really find the words to describe the mess the club was in right now.

"Doesn't matter." He shook his head. Her and the kid was just as important as the club. And she and everyone else needed to know this. "Marry me."

"What?"

"Marry me."