I had this random idea and it kind of spiraled out of control. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Hey HG,
I just finished combing through the security footage. I know you were looking for that specific clip, but I thought… We have an opportunity here that it's better not to waste, let's just make a whole montage. Plus, I may or may not have gotten a little bored. I even managed to pull one of our mission records from the archives.
Robin
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LOCATION: KITCHEN
KID FLASH: [Is standing facing Hawkgirl, looking visibly animated] Wait, wait, wait. So you're telling me that you've played almost every Legend of Zelda game, but you've never played Halo? What's wrong with you?
HAWKGIRL: I have my preferences just as you have yours.
KID FLASH: I mean Zelda's pretty great, but Halo. That's like… right up your alley! You gotta expand your video game horizons!
HAWKGIRL: Forgive me if I'd rather spend my time playing games I know I enjoy, considering my limited amount of free time.
KID FLASH: How do you know you won't enjoy it if you don't try it? Besides, the Zelda are good, but they're not the best. I mean, have you ever played Bioshock? Portal? Fallout 3?
ROBIN: [Speaking up from where he had previously been quietly watching nearby] Dude, I wouldn't.
KID FLASH: Well, it's true!
HAWKGIRL: [Walks over and bodily picks up Robin around the torso, flipping him upside down and holding him out in front of her. Robin crosses his arms, unfazed.]
KID FLASH: Uh… What are you doing?
HAWKGIRL: I am irritated with you.
KID FLASH: Okay… That still doesn't explain why though.
HAWKGIRL: Artemis said that if I'm irritated with someone, I should flip the bird at them.
KID FLASH: [Slaps palm onto face] That's not what that… ugh, I am not explaining idioms to you. Rob, you do it.
ROBIN: I think I like hers better, actually.
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LOCATION: HUB
ARTEMIS: Whoa, Robin, you look… Are you alright?
ROBIN: [Has a very prominent bruise taking nearly the entire right side of his face] I'm fine. Just ended up on the wrong end of one of Harley Quinn's hammers.
KID FLASH: I thought she was back on the straight and narrow!
ROBIN: It never works out for long. Trust me, Bats has tried. A lot.
ARTEMIS: A leopard can't change its spots.
AQUALAD: To my knowledge, leopards evolved spots specifically to blend into their surroundings since they are ambush predators. Thus, they are physically incapable of doing so. There are a certain species of octopus that are capable of changing their spots.
KID FLASH: Whoa… You're right, Kaldur. I guess villains are just people, and that some are capable of changing for the better or worse, while others are stuck in their ways.
ROBIN: KF, I'm pretty sure Kaldur just didn't know it was an idiom.
AQUALAD: What is an idiom?
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LOCATION: KITCHEN
MISS MARTIAN: I won't mess up dinner this time, I promise! Why are you being such a… doubting Thomas?! [Crosses arms and looks away]
SUPERBOY: … My name is Conner?
MISS MARTIAN: [Giggling] It's just a saying. It means you're skeptical.
SUPERBOY: But why Thomas?
MISS MARTIAN: I don't know. But it's kind of funny, don't you think?
SUPERBOY: … I don't get the joke.
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LOCATION: LOUNGE
KID FLASH: It's not that bad is it?
ARTEMIS: Worse. It's no wonder you have a C in Art.
KID FLASH: [Frowning, he puts the messy painting he had been holding up face down on the table, so it wouldn't hurt anyone else] It's not even a little good?
SUPERBOY: I don't think it's that bad. I think the orange jungle looks kinds of… neat.
KID FLASH: Orange jungle? It's supposed to be an ocean sunset!
SUPERBOY: Never mind then.
ARTEMIS: You know how they say a picture paints a thousand words?
KID FLASH: Yeah?
ARTEMIS: All the words this painting put in mind… I don't want to say in front of Conner.
SUPERBOY: But… pictures don't have words?
ARTEMIS: [Patting Superboy consolingly on the arm] Don't worry about it. Just a saying. [Turning back to Kid Flash, who is visibly distraught] Have you considered asking Skylar for help? She has a lot of experience with art.
KID FLASH: She will never see this. [Snatches up painting, rolls it up, and stuffs it back in his backpack]
HAWKGIRL: [Wandering past, eating an apple] Too late. It is a truly shitty painting.
ARTEMIS: [Letting out a scandalized gasp, she clamps her hands over Superboy's ears]
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LOCATION: HUB
BATMAN: For the most part, the mission was a success, though Kid Flash's mishap nearly endangered all of you… But since he managed to recover quickly enough to prevent any disaster, you will only receive a slap on the wrist. I trust you will not let it happen again.
KID FLASH: No, sir
HAWKGIRL: [Reaches over and smacks Kid Flash on the arm]
KID FLASH: [Wincing] Ow, what the heck was that for?!
HAWKGIRL: Slap on the wrist, just like he said. Pretty mild for a corporal punishment in my opinion.
BATMAN: [Is silently suffering and regretting his decision to mentor these kids] You're dismissed.
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LOCATION: GYMNASIUM
[Aqualad and Superboy are in the middle of a push-up contest]
MISS MARTIAN: Should we stop them?
ARTEMIS: No. Let them keep going.
KID FLASH: I am kind of curious to see who'll win, actually. But I vote we put some fuel on this fire to make things more interesting.
HAWKGIRL: [Leaves the room]
ROBIN: Whoever wins gets to pick where we get takeout for dinner tonight.
[Aqualad and Superboy stop momentarily to trade a look, before going back to doing push-ups with twice the enthusiasm.]
[Roughly two minutes later, Hawkgirl returns carrying a red nozzled can]
KID FLASH: Is that gasoline?! Sky, what the hell!
HAWKGIRL: … So you don't want to light them on fire?
KID FLASH: No! I meant metaphorical fire!
HAWKGIRL: … Damn.
[Miss Martian is visibly relieved when Hawkgirl leaves, taking the gasoline with her. Superboy ended up winning the contest.]
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LOCATION: LOUNGE
ARTEMIS: Let's not beat a dead horse.
SUPERBOY: [Visibly appalled] Why would you do that?
MISS MARTIAN: It's an Earth saying, Conner. It basically means 'don't keep bringing up things that are finished'. I admit, it is a little… morbid.
ARTEMIS: Compared to some of the Thanagarian sayings I've heard from Skylar, it's downright cheery.
MISS MARTIAN: You… do have a point there.
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LOCATION: HUB
BATMAN: This will be a short mission, of which I have no doubt you will execute successfully. But remain vigilant at all times.
GREEN ARROW: Break a leg, kiddos.
HAWKGIRL: Whose?
[The rest of the members of the Team take a large step away from her. Batman is once again clearly suffering and is filled with Regret™]
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LOCATION: LOUNGE
[Kid Flash has just entered the room, where Aqualad and Conner have been sitting and watching TV for some time.]
SUPERBOY: M'Gann made cookies. They're in the kitchen.
KID FLASH: Well, I'm never one to look a gift horse in the mouth. [Speeds over and starts cramming cookies in his mouth two at a time.]
AQUALAD: [Turning to Superboy] Do horses often bring presents?
SUPERBOY: [Shrugs] Ask Wally.
KID FLASH: Ask Wally what? [Takes the entire plate over with him and flops down onto the couch]
AQUALAD: Do horses provide presents to people?
KID FLASH: Uh… Was that some kind of code?
AQUALAD: It was a question. You said you are not one to look a gift horse in the mouth. Judging by your casual tone, it must be a common occurrence.
KID FLASH: [Bursts out laughing and nearly chokes to death on a cookie. Conner pats him on the back.] It's just a saying, dude! It's like… don't take things for granted. Geez, it's just like the leopard thing all over again.
AQUALAD: [Visibly embarrassed] Ah. I suppose I am still getting used to these… idioms.
KID FLASH: You'll get the hang of it. Heck, Sky's been on earth for years and she still doesn't get them. And M'Gann's knowledge all comes from binge watching Earth TV. So it's no big deal.
AQUALA: Thank you, Wally [Snags a cookie from the plate]
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LOCATION: HUB
BLACK CANARY: I'm proud of you, Conner. It looks like you're finally finding your feet.
SUPERBOY: [Looks down at his feet, confused]
BLACK CANARY: [Is smiling broadly as she reaches out and ruffles his hair]
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LOCATION: OFFSITE, RECORDED AUDIO FROM MISSION: REDACTED
ARTEMIS: They won't know what hit them. The moment they come back and see their safe house empty of all their drugs and weapons, we'll take them down.
ROBIN: You're sure you've got everything out?
ARTEMIS: Everything but the kitchen sink.
[Metallic ripping noise]
ROBIN: What was that?
ARTEMIS: … Scratch that, we have everything including the kitchen sink. Hawkgirl, what are we supposed to do with that?!
HAWKGIRL: Now they won't have a sink. We were ordered to take everything and then you specifically pointed out the presence of the sink. I assumed this is what you wanted me to do.
ARTEMIS: I meant… You know what, never mind. Maybe you can throw it at someone.
ROBIN: Don't give her any ideas, you know she'll do it.
HAWKGIRL: Of course I will.
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"This is even better than I hoped it would be." Skylar leaned back away from the screen.
Dick was still cackling a little as he closed the screen of the laptop sitting in front of them. "I know, right? It was so much work, but it was so worth it. Some of these are gold."
"Definitely. I was very proud of the thing with the sink."
"Yeah, that was amazing. And the looks on those guys' faces when you threw that sink at them? Priceless. Man, I wish there was video footage of that."
"As do I."
"There's just one thing I don't get." Dick admitted. "You've been on Earth since you were nine, and I know you started learning English before that. How did you miss out on the lessons on idioms?"
"Oh, I didn't."
Spluttering, Dick whipped his head towards her. "What?"
"My first week here, Uncle Hal asked if he could take a rain check and I told him it wasn't raining, but that it was probably going to later." Her nose wrinkled a little. "Of course, I was teased for that. Every idiom that's been thrown at me, I've known about."
"Wait, wait, wait, so that thing with the gasoline? And the kitchen sink? And the leg breaking? You did that all on purpose?"
"Yes. I thought it was funny to point out the fallacies of the human language. I still do, in fact."
"… You are diabolical."
She shot him a vicious smirk. "Why thank you."
Fun Fact 1: Skylar has played other video games. The Zelda games are just her favorites.
Fun Fact 2: The video game argument was originally a jab about Skylar not having other friends than them, but I thought that was far too uncalled for and way too mean on Wally's part. So lighthearted banter it is.
Fun Fact 3: This all spawned from thinking up the 'Flipping the Bird' incident. Then I just looked up a list of idioms and picked out the ones I could make the funniest and/or best situations with.