Chapter 1: The fall.
The dry wind of the Mojave swept across the mostly barren soil with a low whistle, the landscape only broken up by the occasional destroyed building, car, or roaming irradiated creature. This was the scene that lay itself out for Courier Six, he lowered his binoculars and sat back down at his makeshift camp, his Elite Riot Gear armor shifting along with his tired body.
He could feel the weight of all the people of the Mojave at times like these, where any decisions he made could change every single life from here to the Great Divide, to even the Big MT. He took off his gas mask to feel the wind against his face, as dry as it was and as much dust got into his eyes it helped bring him back to reality.
Six pressed a gloved hand against his face, hearing the rough sounds of his beard hairs grinding against the coarse leather gloves. Six's thoughts wandered much like he did himself sometimes. He would try to remember what his name was without looking at his pipboy, truth of the matter? He couldn't remember anything past getting shot in the head and waking up at Doc Mitchell's in Goodsprings, occasionally something of his past would worm its way into his memory banks but that was few and far between. He sighed as that was so long ago, since then he's united almost all of the Mojave under his banner. It's not like they had much of a choice but from all the good that Six had done, minus some more unsavory tendencies.
Like stealing and some other things along those lines he thought he had at least left the Mojave in a better place than he entered it. "Ugh, I hate it when I get like this. This is why I prefer traveling with someone, I start having these existential crises. I'm not Ulysses or Joshua Graham." He said to no one in particular. He scratched his head, his long brown, straight hair occasionally drifting into his line of sight. "Might have to visit Sergio later."
His pipboy buzzed with excitement, which drew Six's attention to the device that currently displayed a new radio signal, he looked down to see that the signal was coming from The Big MT. The Big MT is a giant crater in the middle of the desert filled to the brim with some of the most advanced technology from before the war, and they have a bunch of scientists which have modified themselves to the point of essentially becoming floating brains in jars. They occasionally buzz Six whenever they invent or discover something neat, he grabbed his gas mask and put it back on. He pulled out the Transportalponder pulling the trigger, with a slight hum, a rush of air, and a bright white light he soon found himself right in front of the door to the Sink.
He opened the door and made his way through the hub of AI conversing with one another, occasionally they would say hi to him but he ignored them. He headed straight for the labs and came across the floating scientists within the Think Tank. "What did you guys do?" He asked the doctors abruptly, he knew they were up to something. It's the times that they weren't when he was most concerned.
"AHH LOBOTOMITE!" Doctor Klein started.
"Shut it." Six replied, "What did you do?" He asked Doctor 0, the only doctor that would really give him a straight answer. Hatred for Robco or not, Doctor 0 was the one Six trusted the most out of all the senseless idiot geniuses there.
"Well we have been looking into what happens when a lobotomite ceases to function, what happens after what these creatures call a soul exits the meat suit." 0 explained nervously.
"You've been researching whether or not there's an afterlife?" Six asked, "Well if there is, there's a long line of assholes waiting for me in hell."
"Actually we came to the conclusion that there is in fact an afterlife." Doctor 0 said, cutting Six off.
"Well you wouldn't have called me here unless you were doing something around that area, so...what did you do?"
"We concluded that these afterlives reside on a different dimensional plane than that of our own, obviously. However in order to pierce said dimensional veil, we needed a subject. With the auto-doc releasing all the corpses from their trauma harnesses we had very few subjects that had experienced death, with the exception of one. You, you got shot in the head and survived. We calculated that because of that event, there was a brief moment where you were considered scientifically dead during the time you were in the grave and before you came to." Doctor Dala informed Six.
"I'm guessing that you already built a device to attempt to gain entrance to the afterlife." Six concluded, "But you couldn't get through."
"Actually we couldn't get the device powered on." Doctor Borous told Six, "It would require a large amount of power, we would have to reroute said power."
"Cutting off a lot of facilities, that is if you decide to go through with this." Six replied, "Fuck it, try it."
"A-Are you serious?" Borous asked, "You never approve of our experiments."
"I'm curious about the afterlife too. Perhaps even morbidly so." Six said, "Especially if Ceasar and Benny are sucking each other off in hell. Just do me a favor and try not to kill any of the programs in the facilities."
"There's no worry about that." Dala said, "They've already been automatically backed up. It'll be like they just took a quick nap."
"Where is it?" Six asked, "I know you already built it."
"VERY ASTUTE OBSERVATION!" Klein started but stopped when he got a cold, dead stare from Six.
"There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair." Six told Klein.
"That seems to be a bit of an overreaction." Dala tried to defend Klein. Klein was busy grumbling.
"Believe me, it's not." Six told Dala, "Come on Borous, let's see this thing." He gestured forward while addressing the scientist he most preferred.
Six was shown a giant arch, the sides decorated with symbols he didn't recognize. He was guessing that they were magical in nature, he could feel a weird aura coming from the arch. "Hnn." He grumbled to himself, "Are you sure about this?" He asked Borous.
"We've run all the calculations, there's a 98% chance of success. 1.5% of failure, and a 0.5% chance of catastrophic failure." Borous told Six.
"What would happen in the event of a catastrophic failure?" Six asked.
"The entire laboratory would be sucked into a black hole." Borous explained.
"Well better than what I was thinking." Six thought out loud to no one in particular, "Well I said turn it on, I'm not going back on what I said."
The floating brains remained silent as the power fluctuated and the arch began to slightly glow a crimson color. Electricity crackled blue before turning red, Six took a cautious step back as the arch began to power up. Red energy condensed, the space in the arch began to fill, the room darkening even more as the arch siphoned more power. A beam of red energy made its way from the top left to the bottom right of the arch, more beams made their way across until an upside-down five pointed star filled the empty space of the arch. Six recognized it as a pentagram, however it has no circle surrounding it. The points of the star started to connect and make the circle that Six was thinking about, the star started to spin counterclockwise.
Six pulled out his trusty lever action shotgun. Preparing himself for anything as the pentagram spun faster and faster, the star itself became a blur and the now red spinning disk started to expand. The red circle soon filled the entire arch, but the red spinning never stopped. Six had his shotgun aimed at the arch, the arch soon revealed a city. Six stopped aiming, slowly approaching the arch. His curiosity getting the better of him, he reached out and touched, that's the last thing he remembered before falling.
Charlie stood next to a telephone pole putting up a poster advertising the Hazbin Hotel. Angel Dust stood behind her with a pile of posters in both sets of his arms. "Ugh, I don't see why I haveta help ya with this."
"Because, you have the most arms." She said as she put in the final staple in the poster. Charlie wiped some sweat from her brow as she smiled at the new poster. Ever since the battle with heaven she was nervous about the reception of the hotel.
The pornstar sighed, looking down at the ground. There was a shadow that appeared on the ground and slowly got bigger. Which meant something was falling, that caused him to look up to see a person shaped blob in the sky. "Uh princess? Does that look like a person to you?" Angel pointed up at the descending blob.
Charlie looked at Angel then looked in the direction that he was pointing, seeing a person falling from the sky. "AAHH!" She panicked, "What are you doing just standing around! Find something to break his fall!" She looked around and saw a dumpster. "Quick help me move this!" She ran around to the back of the dumpster and attempted to push it into the way.
"Ugh, no thanks." Angel Dust commented, "Only one good deed a day princess."
Charlie growled and pointed at Angel, "If you don't help, no more free room!"
Angel's eyes widened as he tossed the flyers into the dumpster, "That'll help soften the blow." He scrambled next to Charlie and helped her push the dumpster a few feet onto the sidewalk a few seconds before the body slammed into the ground. Flyers scattered into the wind, the trash bags underneath exploded sending their contents in the same direction as the flyers. Charlie and Angel ducked after the explosion of debris went off covering their heads with hands.
Charlie waited for everything to settle down before peaking over the edge of the dumpster. "Whoa." She saw the body of a dark demon clad in a brown trenchcoat with glowing red eyes.
"Look, it's raining men." Angel commented. "Eh?" He elbowed Charlie in the side with his lower right arm.
Charlie said nothing as she began to drag the demon that just fell out of the sky out of his makeshift landing pad. Angel spotted another shadow and tackled her out of the way. "What was that for Angel?!" Charlie shouted. Only for a lever action shotgun to fall on the demon in the dumpster. "Oh, thank you."
"I thought it was another demon." Angel grumbled as he stood up, "Seems Icarus here had a gun too." Charlie ignored his comment once more as she helped the demon in the dumpster again.
Charlie groaned as she dragged the demon out, "I don't know who this guy is but he weighs a million pounds!"
Angel grabbed the shotgun, it weighed about as much as he expected. It was fully loaded too, Angel looked up again and saw nothing. He rested the shotgun on his shoulder and followed Charlie as she helped the black demon down to the Hotel.
The newly formed trio had soon found themselves in the lobby of the Hazbin Hotel, Charlie lay the mysterious demon on a couch in the lobby. "Well what do we have here?" A new voice asked. Charlie looked to see the source as Alastor, the Radio Demon.
"Someone who chose to skydive without a parachute." Angel replied automatically.
"What are you talkin' about?" Husker asked the prostitute.
"Well actually Angel is kind of right. This demon just fell out of the sky." Charlie explained as Vaggie and Niffty soon arrived next to the others.
"Guess he's lucky that he fell on you." Vaggie said.
"He's kind of dirty." Niffty mentioned.
"Wait, how can you tell it's a he?" Husk asked.
The moment that the alcoholic cat had asked that question. Six moaned out, raising a hand to his head and started to shake himself awake. "Ugh." He stood up from his seated position walking forward breaking up the group that was surrounding him, taking slow deep breaths. He looked around, spotting the mutants that were staring at him. "Just when I thought I had seen every type of mutant, I go and surprise myself again."
Alastor's grin faltered slightly as he heard the demon in the trench coat and ballistic armor call the group of fellow demons, mutants. "Excuse me my good sir, do you happen to know where you are?"
Six turned to the red clad mutant as it seemed to have spoken to him, "Sorry, memory is a little fuzzy. I've had a lot of trauma to the head."
Charlie looked at the male demon, "Do you remember your name?"
Six looked at her, "Uh no, but that has always been an issue. You can call me Six."
"Like the number?" Niffty asked, which caused Six to look at her.
He tilted his head, "Is that a cyclops?" He pointed at her.
She stomped her foot and held her arms out to her sides, "My name is Niffty!"
"Fine, whatever you say." Six told the little one, he shook his head a bit more, his vision blurring, "One moment." He checked his pip boy, to see that his head was crippled. He pulled out a Stimpak and injected it in his neck. "There we go."
The jaws of the demons collectively hit the floor as they just saw this demon pull a needle out of nowhere and casually inject himself in, of all places, his neck. Angel's eyes lit up, "You have drugs?!" He smiled rushing over to the demon that identified himself as Six.
Six turned to the mutant that was charging at him with his shotgun in hand, he had a sharp intake of breath. Switched from unarmed to his Assault Carbine, and pointed the barrel under the chin of the mutant, which stopped it in its tracks. His finger on the trigger ready to squeeze at a moment's notice, the tension ramped up from ten to 100. Angel held up his hands, everyone stared at Six. Six could hear his heart pounding in his ears, and something else, then he saw another one make her presence known.
"Six was it?" Charlie asked with her hands up, his head snapped in her direction. She could feel the glowing red eyes illuminate her face, "Please don't hurt my friend. I know you're probably scared and a little jumpy but Angel didn't mean to scare you. Right, Angel?" She asked the spider demon.
"Y-Yeah, I was jus' foolin' around is all." Angel agreed. "I didn't mean anythin' by it."
Six looked back at the mutant in front of him, then turned his head. "Sorry." He apologized, lowering his gun. "It's just whenever something is charging at me it usually means that it's intentions are not friendly." Six explained.
"Nah, I get it." Angel breathed out a sigh of relief, "Waking up in a strange place and one of the first things that happens is that someone charges right at you? I'd pull a gun too."
Charlie breathed a huge sigh of relief, she saw everyone else slowly lower their arms as well. Angel backed up a little, Alastor's eyes and hands lost their glow, Husk lowered the bottle in his hand, and Vaggie lowered her spear.
Six then spoke up again, "It wasn't drugs. Well it was, but not the drugs you would think, more like medicine. My head was crippled and I had to fix it."
The apprehension of the demons turned into confusion upon Six uttering his last sentence, "Your…head….was…crippled?" Vaggie sounded out slowly in order to attempt to grasp the ridiculousness of the sentence.
"Yeah, and I used a Stimpak." Six explained casually.
"Stim pack?" Husk asked, "What the fuck is a stim pack?"
"A Stimpak, you know a shot of stimulants used to instantly heal wounds?" Six reiterated, "I thought everyone knew about Stimpaks. Guess you muties use Healing Powder or some shit." He said while throwing away the used needle.
"We typically don't inject ourselves with things we don't know the effects of." Charlie said.
"Well most of us don't." Vaggie commented.
"Hey! I smoke and snort! I never shot up!" Angel defended himself.
"Why do you keep calling us mutants?" Husk asked the black and brown clad demon.
"Well you're not ghouls because none of you have the raspy voice, or peeling skin. Well at least not all of you have the raspy voice. Also you aren't making my Geiger counter move a centimeter, so the way I figure it, you must be a new batch of mutants." Six said, only drawing more confusion from the group he stood before.
"I'm sorry?" Alastor spoke up, "Did you hit your head a little bit too hard?"
"That could be a possibility. Never really had a good track record when it comes to my brain and protecting it, that dick." Six said.
"Did you just call your brain a dick?" Vaggie asked.
"Well it is." Six said, "It's a very long and complicated story."
"I bet." Angel said, he then leaned over to Charlie whispering, "It seems like this guy has more than a few screws loose."
"I heard that." Six snarkily replied, "Trust me, in the Mojave what I'm saying is actually pretty normal all things considered."
"Listen pal, you're going to haveta start making more sense if you wanna stick around here." Angel retorted while crossing most of his arms and pointing at Six.
Six squinted at them, it seemed like they had no clue what he was talking about. Even the simplest of things, like Stimpaks and Ghouls. So he was going to have to proceed with caution, "Alright how about this then? You ask a question, I'll answer and vice versa?" The group before Six seemed to nod, the blonde one raised her hand, "Yes, what is it?"
"Could you put your gun away?" Charlie pointed to his Assault Carbine.
"Oh." Six looked down, and put his gun on his back. "Okay, my turn. What are your names?"
Charlie smiled slightly and started off, "I'm Charlotte Magne Morningstar, but you can call me Charlie. This is my girlfriend Vagatha, but everyone calls her Vaggie. That's Angel Dust, this is Alastor. This is Husker but you can call him Husk. And this is Niffty."
"I got a question for ya." Angel started, "How did ya fall out of the sky?"
"Out of the sky?" Six repeated after Angel. He then held up a finger, "Hold on." He paused for a moment rubbing his helmet trying to remember what had happened, then it came back to him, the experiment at The Big MT. But how the fuck was he going to explain that? If the portal did work, was he actually in heaven or hell? "I was working with some friends, and I use that term incredibly loosely, of mine on a portal. There was a miscalculation and instead of opening on the ground. It was hundreds of feet in the air." Six lied. The group before him paused for a minute, and seemed to accept this as the truth. "My turn, just where exactly am I?"
"You, my fine fellow, are in The Hazbin Hotel! The premiere rehabilitation program for all of Hell and its denizens!" Alastor informed him, "Now, for a question of my own. What is that strange device on your left arm?" He pointed the end of his microphone at Six's arm.
"It's called a Pip Boy, this model is the Pip Boy 3000. It's like a computer, it shows me my status, a map, my inventory, notes, and any tasks I have to accomplish. Also it's got a radio for entertainment." Six explained.
"Well isn't that just neat! That seems better than the Hellphones that everyone seems to be carrying around." Alastor commented.
"You only say that because it has a built-in radio." Husk commented before taking a swig of his liquor.
"Alright, another question from me," Six started, he then held his hand out to Angel, "Can I get my shotgun back?"
Angel paused at this and looked at Six, then back at everyone else, then back at Six. "Why?"
"It was very expensive, I've had it for a while, and it means a lot to me." He explained.
Angel was still hesitant, then Charlie spoke up, "Angel go ahead and give it back. He had an opportunity to shoot you earlier but didn't, also you wouldn't like it if he had your Tommy Gun and refused to give it back." She explained.
"Hmm, I suppose that's fair." Angel mumbled before walking up to Six and holding his gun out to him, Six grabbed it by the barrel and stock, before inspecting it, then twirling it around with one hand and placing it on his back.
"Thank you." Six said.
"Wait, where'd your other gun go?" Vaggie asked, pointing at Six's back which used to hold his Assault Carbine but now contained his shotgun.
"Back into my inventory." Six explained casually, "I have very deep pockets."
"What's NCR mean?" Niffty asked, pointing to the painting on his armor just below his chin. It typically had 10C, but that wore off months ago.
"New California Republic." Six replied casually and that stopped everyone else in their tracks. Then he realized what he said, "Fuck."
Six found himself in a conference room within the hotel after a few minutes, where they had moved their conversion after Six mentioned was tired of standing, there was a mug in front of him full of what he imagined to be coffee. He had tried coffee once before in New Canaan but he didn't like it, so he just left it alone. He stared at the demons sitting across from him. He sat at one end of the conference table while they sat at the other, it turned out that the experiment had worked and Six was in Hell.
Alastor sipped on his coffee, before putting the mug down on a saucer. "You know, it's generally considered rude to not drink the beverage offered to you." The radio demon commented.
Six replied, "It's considered even more rude to give someone something without asking whether or not they prefer it, basically put I don't like coffee."
"Then what do you like?" The radio demon asked, only to see Six reach into his coat and pull out a yellow bottle filled with a brown liquid and popped the cap off with his thumb, the cap arched over his head onto his other side and he caught the cap in his other hand and put it in his pocket.
Six just put the bottle down on the table next to the mug of coffee, "I'm guessing you have more questions by now."
"Yeah," Charlie decided to speak up this time, "Did you lie to us earlier?"
"Not entirely, I just left out some key details." Six said, "Consider it from my point of view. I woke up in an unfamiliar place, surrounded by strangers that I couldn't trust and not really positive about what happened to my body, if anything did happen. I can trust no one but myself at this moment."
Charlie opened her mouth and raised a finger to retort but her voice was caught in her throat. She closed her mouth and held her chin, because he had some good points. Alastor was eyeing Six, but then relaxed, "Fair enough." The radio demon started, "I wouldn't be too generous with any information myself if I found myself in your position."
"So is your name really Six?" Vaggie asked, "Or did you lie about that too?"
"It's more akin to a title than a name." Six replied, "I've had a lot of head injuries and one of the last things I recall is people calling me Six. So I just decided to go by Six, it just stuck."
"So that implies that there's 5 other people." Husk concluded.
"Truthfully there were actually 7 of us, they're now dead. Well most of them anyways…" Six explained, "Before you ask, no I didn't kill them. It's a long and complicated story."
"Hmm, I suppose that could sum you up to a tee." Alastor said, taking another sip of his coffee. "So, NCR. It stands for New California Republic, which implies that something happened to the old California. So, what happened?"
Six squinted at the demons, the gears in his head slowly turning. He then looked at his Pip Boy briefly. "Before I answer your question, I have one of my own. This will actually help me answer your question depending on how you reply to mine."
Alastor raised an eyebrow, he drummed his fingers on the table a few times before coming to a decision, "Alright, ask your question."
"What year is it?" Six asked after a brief pause. Which caught all of the demons off guard.
The demons opposite of Six all looked at each other, then back at the person at the other end of the table. "It's 2019." Charlie stated.
Six sighed and stood up, turning his back to the demons. His hands came up to his face, or rather his gas mask and he screamed. "FUUUUUUUUUCK!"
The demons all jumped back slightly at his sudden outburst. This demon before them was getting more and more confusing by the hour. Charlie, the ever caring one asked, "Is everything alright?"
"No. Maybe. I don't know." Six said after a moment. His head slumped, "Alright, last question. Is there any way to communicate with earth? At all?"
"Not really." Alastor lied, he knew the truth. However, he didn't like Stolas or Asmodeus and his ilk.
"What's that old phrase? In for a penny, in for a pound?" Six asked rhetorically, he turned around and moved the chair he was previously sitting in aside. He placed his hands on the table and leaned forward. "The reason why I just screamed right then and there is because I'm from the year 2287. On October 23, 2077 the world basically fucked itself into a coma after the United States of America and China decided that there were going to be no winners in war with each other and they both nuked the absolute shit out of everything. The only reason humanity as a whole survived, at least in the US, is because a company called Vault-Tec decided to build 200 large capacity fallout shelters known as vaults. This was done with the approval of the United States government. This is the period known as The Great War. I live in the aftermath of said Great War where literally almost anything and everything can and will kill or eat you. So, any questions?" There was a litany of hands that went up after Six was done with his monologue, "That's what I thought." He concluded.
By the time that all occupants had left the conference room they had more questions than answers, however the answers that they did get were satisfactory enough for tonight. Apparently Six was from a place known as New Vegas, and there was a war going on between The NCR and a bunch of people called The Legion. Charlie couldn't help but have a million questions running through her mind about Six, but Six himself was incredibly tired and just wanted to go to sleep.
The demons also still couldn't get over the fact that Six himself wasn't a demon but a human, after he had taken off his gas mask to drink his soda. Alastor advised him that it would be best if he didn't take off his mask outside the hotel as seeing humans in hell was something that didn't happen.
Charlie being her caring self had decided to offer Six a room to stay in until he could figure out how to get home. In exchange Six offered to be a sort of repairman in case anything broke. Right now Angel, Alastor, Vaggie, and Charlie all sat at the bar in the hotel with Husk busy making drinks for all of them. Niffty had offered to show Six to his room.
"Well, fuck." Charlie said.
Which garnered the attention of Angel, "Wow princess, I didn't think ya had it in ya."
"I mean what else am I supposed to say?!" Charlie nearly shouted, "Wow, sorry you went from hell on earth to literal Hell? Here's a free hotel room while you figure out how to get back and also figure out time travel?"
"There really is nothing to say other than asking more questions," Alastor concluded. "Right now I think he deserves some sleep."
Husk put a drink in front of Alastor, "So we're probably not sleeping tonight are we?" Husk asked.
"Not without some assistance," Vaggie stated. "I mean we basically had the future revealed to us, and it's not a bright one." She took the drink that was put in front of her.
Angel took his favorite drink, a sex on the beach and downed it within a few seconds. Husk was already making a second one for him when Niffty joined the others, "So how well did he adjust?" Angel asked, he didn't really care but it was on everyone's minds.
"He screamed because the shower worked and that there was soap. It was pretty funny." Niffty said, "I put him in the room next to Angel's." The small maid said while looking at Charlie.
"Wait, you're telling me that the showers don't work in the future?" Alastor asked.
"He said the last time he bathed was when he was raising a B-52 bomber from a lake, and it didn't count because there was no soap." Niffty said as Husk put a Shirley temple in front of her.
"Out of one hellhole and into another." Husk commented, "Can't even begin to imagine the stories that Six has tucked away."
"There's gotta be a few good ones." Angel commented, "I mean come on, he's a person from the post-apocalyptic future, he's gotta have a story."
"Hmm." Charlie said, "I'm wondering why he called his brain a dick earlier."
"I'm thinking about why he's called Six." Vaggie mentioned, "And why he has memory issues."
"Where did he get his guns from?" Angel asked, "How many does he have on him?"
"What's New Vegas like?" Husk wondered.
"I'm sure he has plenty of questions for us as well." Alastor iterated, "But for now, let's try to suppress these thoughts with some alcohol and come up with a list in the morning, deal?" Everyone eyed Alastor wearily, "For once I didn't mean it like that." The group started to get into their drinks a little bit more, while the human was upstairs in his room.
Six sighed in relief as the warm water rained over his body, he used a washcloth and soap to break up the layers of dirt that was caked onto his skin over the years of being in the Mojave. He used shampoo to wash all the dirt and grime out of his hair, then used it once more to clean it. The old scars that littered his body, from surgical to gunshot wounds, each a memory some more painful than the last. As soon as he was done rinsing off his body he turned off the water, and stood there. His hand drifted to the scar left behind by the 9 millimeter bullet that he was shot with.
For a brief moment Six was back in the desert, on his knees in front of Benny. He jerked his hand away from the scar, finding himself back in the hotel. He sighed and got out of the shower, he started to dry himself off with a towel as he looked in the now filled drawers for a set of clothes that would be clean enough to wear. His eyes settled on his armored vault 13 jumpsuit, he smiled as he pulled it on. He also put on the rebreather and a pair of sunglasses.
Then he settled in for the night, one good thing that he was always able to do is sleep anywhere, and fall asleep almost immediately. He readjusted the pillows and fell asleep a minute after that.