Manard seemed oddly cheery as they walked through the forest the next day—probably because he'd had an ample supply of Pain-Relieving Potion for the first time in a long while—but Remus felt terrible. He'd taken a potion that morning, but it wasn't nearly enough to keep him from feeling the pain of walking several miles in one day.

Near lunchtime, Remus was wincing with nearly every step. "I think I'm going to have to go to the Hospital Wing when I get back to school," he said through gritted teeth. "My joints are going to be horribly inflamed by the end of today."

"I know," said Manard airily. "I'm taking you to a nearby wizarding clinic tomorrow."

"But… they'll know I'm a werewolf!"

"No, they won't. You'll complain about your joints, they'll see what the problem is immediately, and they'll have no reason to investigate further. Even if they do, it's a very discreet place. They'll heal your legs, and then we'll go back to Hogwarts. Poppy will never need to know."

"You've gone mad."

"As have you, if you think I'm going to risk losing my job over this. I want to find Greyback as much as you do—more, in fact, as it seems. Would you like another Pain-Relieving Potion?"

"I told you, I can't take more than one in twenty-four hours."

"Have it your way."

They continued to walk. Suddenly, it started to rain. "Dammit," Manard muttered. "I was hoping that wouldn't happen."

"Oddly poetic," mumbled Remus.

"What was that?"

Remus hadn't realized he'd said that loudly enough for Manard to hear. "Nothing," he said.

"No, now I'm curious. Why would it be poetic?"

"Erm… it was raining on the night that Greyback… I mean, the night that I was bitten." Remus flushed red. "Don't read too much into that. I don't know who bit me."

"Freudian slip," said Manard with a smile. "You might as well just admit it already. There's no way it wasn't Greyback."

"I…"

"I'm not going to tell anyone that you admitted it. Everyone knows already."

"If you already know, then why do I need to admit it?"

"I want to hear what happened, start to finish. It might help us find Greyback."

Remus had only ever told this story once before, and it had been to Professor Questus, on a rainy night just like this one (except he and Professor Questus had been indoors, obviously). Remus had trusted Questus—telling him had been difficult in that Remus had not wanted to think about it, but it had been easy to know that Questus was not about to do anything cruel with the information.

Manard, though, was a different story. Remus was more comfortable with talking about it now, but he most certainly did not trust Manard to go forth with the information in a way that did not harm Remus.

At the same time, though, Remus was frankly a little afraid of what Manard would do if Remus didn't tell him… and besides, Remus felt a little bit better every time he talked about it. He desperately needed to feel better right now, when his past was haunting every crevice of his imagination. Perhaps it would feel better if he said it out loud. Besides, what could Manard do with the information that he couldn't already? He basically already knew.

"It was Greyback," he said flatly and as quickly as possible. "My father insulted him. You know the story. He broke my window on the full moon while I was sleeping and attacked me. He meant to kill, but my father managed to scare him away before he could do too much damage."

"See, that wasn't so hard," said Manard, smiling, and Remus felt like vomiting. Saying it out loud hadn't made him feel better at all. "Where did he bite you?"

"Erm… left side. He was rather big, and I was rather small, so… my shoulder to my torso, basically. It was... messy. More of a savaging. Doesn't even look that much like a bite, really."

"And you're certain it was him?"

"Positive. He came back the next month and admitted it when he was… trying to recruit me."

"Hm. How did your parents feel about healing you? Were they reluctant?"

"No!" Remus' father had been slightly reluctant, if only because he understood the full weight of werewolves' supposed danger… but Remus wouldn't say that. That wasn't his secret to tell. "They took me to St. Mungo's right away."

"I see."

They walked a little ways further, and then the rain really started to pour. Lightning struck, and Remus' skin prickled—it hadn't struck far off, and there was a thud as a tree fell to the ground. "I think we need to take shelter," shouted Manard over the rushing rain. "I'm putting up another tent."

"Wait! Won't the lightning strike it?"

"It's charmed, you idiot!" Manard threw some powder on the ground, and a tent sprang up. "In!"

Remus crawled inside, and Manard came in after him and zipped up the door. "Lightning-repelling charms," he panted. "We'll be fine, so long as we stay here until the storm has ended."

There was another mighty crack, and Remus flinched. There they sat, in awkward silence, listening to the rain. Remus had something to say, but he wasn't sure he could work up the courage.

Oh, what was the harm?

"Now tell me about your wife," said Remus. "You said Greyback attacked her, didn't you?"

Manard smiled. "That's a little personal, don't you think?"

"A story for a story."

That was how Remus and Questus had done it, too, except Questus had been the one to suggest it. Remus had felt a lot more comfortable that way, especially since Questus' story had been as traumatic as his own.

"Fine," said Manard. "It was a dark and stormy night, and…"

"Really?"

"No. It was hot and sunny. I was just coming home from work. I, like your father, had encountered Greyback and insulted him—well, I had done a bit more than insult, but you get the idea. I hadn't expected him to go after my wife. Hadn't expected his human sense of smell to be so honed… hey, why can't you track him down like he did us?"

"I… well, I'm not sure how he does it. I'm sure it's a skill he learned somehow."

"Hm. Well, anyway, I returned home, and my wife was also returning home from her own job. She was the head chef at a restaurant. Was the most excellent cook you could ever imagine. So I returned home, and she immediately greeted me with a surprisingly passionate kiss. I laughed and told her to at least let me take my coat and hat off first, and…"

"Do I want to hear this?"

"Absolutely. I took them off, and she told me to sit on the sofa. She said she had big news. I sat there, waiting, and then she told me she was pregnant."

Remus' heart dropped to the pit of his stomach. "Oh. Oh, no."

"We'd been trying for about a year."

"I'm… really sorry."

"You're not."

"No, I am. I don't like you very much, but… that's horrifying. She died that night?"

"Yes. We were eating supper—she'd brought home leftovers from her restaurant. We were discussing plans for the baby. You know: names, how we were going to tell our family, plans for the birth, and so on. We heard some thumping noises from upstairs, but thought nothing of it. We had a dog, and he wasn't always well-behaved."

"Was Greyback… already in your house?"

"Yes. He'd sneaked in, apparently, while my wife and I were both at work. He transformed there, and then he bounded down the stairs—my wand was in my coat pocket, and my wife wasn't able to fend him off. I ran to the sitting room to get my wand. Heard the scream and looked over my shoulder… grabbed the wand from my coat pocket… shot a few spells at Greyback. He came for me."

"And… your leg."

"It happened quickly. He didn't bite me, but his claws went deep. I cursed him a couple more times, and then he finally realized that I was a dangerous target and ran away rather quickly. Normally, I would have followed him, but I was too worried about my wife."

"How did you get to her with a hurt leg?"

"Adrenaline. I'm sure you know that pain doesn't always kick in right away while under extreme stress. I walked to the other room, where she was lying next to the table. She'd hit her head, and she'd been bitten on the thigh. She was still conscious, and she asked me if the baby would survive if she was a werewolf."

"And you told her that it wouldn't?"

"Of course. There's no way that a human child would survive nine months inside a werewolf. She'd miscarry before the first transformation, most likely, because of the stress—and if that didn't do it, then the transformation certainly would. I had to tell her no, and it killed me to say it."

"And then… you let her die."

"I wanted to heal her, actually."

"You did?!"

"I loved her, and love can make people do terrible things. I was prepared to lock her up as much as I needed to for… for just a little more time with her. I wouldn't have done the right thing had she not prompted me."

"She wanted to die."

"Of course. She didn't want to hurt anybody else. She asked me to make it quick, but I couldn't do it… so I held her while she bled out. It didn't take long. I sat there for half a day, hoping I would die myself… but I didn't. I finally alerted the authorities by owl, and they came—they tried to heal my leg, but the damage had gone too far, and they did a poor job on it anyway."

"What did you do then?"

"I grieved, and it led to deep depression. Finally, the depression gave way to resolve, and I told myself that I would kill Fenrir Greyback if it was the last thing I did."

"I… wow. Okay. I'm sorry—that's horrifying."

"Absolutely. I could have been a father, living forever with the woman I loved most. I could have been pain-free and happy. Baby George would have been two this coming December. But now here I am, bitter and miserable, wasting my life looking for Greyback, wasting away, dreadfully lonely. He took everything from me."

"He took everything from me, too," Remus whispered.

"Then we're in agreement that he needs to die."

The lightning was gone now, and Manard unzipped the tent. "Get up. We're going to keep walking. Oh, and…" He looked at Remus and grinned cruelly. "I think I won in terms of best story. Yours was only a paragraph. You'd get better marks on your essays if you knew how to use more detail."

Remus looked away to hide his eyeroll, and then he started after Manard.

It was still raining.

They stopped around noon to set up a picnic lunch. Remus was feeling faint.

"Are you absolutely certain that you don't want another Pain-Relieving Potion?" asked Manard.

"Yes. Madam Pomfrey will know if there's too much in my system. I can't risk becoming dependent."

"More for me."

They ate lunch in silence, mostly. There wasn't much else to say, and Remus was thankful for the fact.

Remus slept well that night. He was still mildly terrified of Greyback, but he was sore and exhausted. Somehow, the immediate sensations overruled the fear of the possible future event.

Unfortunately, Manard woke him early the next morning by tapping his cane against the side of the tent sharply. It hit Remus' arm, dragging him forcibly out of the best sleep he'd ever had. "I hate you," he muttered, quietly enough that he knew Manard wouldn't hear.

They came across a cave around midday. "Anyone in that cave?" Manard asked.

"No, sir. Not that I know of."

"Do you need to get closer?"

"I… would rather not."

"If you're not one-hundred-percent certain, then we need to get closer."

Remus sighed. "We could get a little bit closer, I suppose," he said. "Not much, though."

Slowly, they drew closer. "Anything?" Manard asked, hope written on his every feature.

"No," said Remus.

Manard swore loudly and kicked a tree with his good foot. "Damn it, Lupin! I thought you would be able to find him!"

"I thought he would be able to find me! Didn't he say he would meet me? He said he would meet me yesterday! Where did he go? Is he just playing some sort of sick game?"

"Maybe," said Manard, wild-eyed, "maybe it's because he knows I'm with you. Maybe if we split up, then he would find you."

"But then you wouldn't be able to find me. I can't kill him by myself."

"I'll put a tracking spell on you." Manard jabbed the tip of his wand into Remus' chest and murmured a word that Remus couldn't identify. Then he set his wand on the palm of his own hand, and the wand spun so that it was pointing directly toward Remus. "There. It'll last a week, assuming I don't remove it first. That's plenty of time to find you."

"But what if—?"

"No. You're going out alone and finding Greyback. We have three hours before I have to take you to the clinic. Walk in that direction—southeast—and don't stop walking, you hear me? I'm Apparating to the other end of the forest."

"What if he finds you first and kills you?"

"I'd like to see him try. But if I'm not back in four hours, then you should walk until you find civilization and tell them to take you back to Hogwarts. Do you have food in your bag?"

"Yes."

"Enough for a full day?"

"Yes."

"And you could track down a town?"

"Eventually."

"Good. I'll see you in four hours. Keep your wand on you, and don't get attacked by a wolf." Manard smiled grimly. "Wouldn't that be an ironic death?"

Remus sighed and started in the opposite direction. There was a crack, and then Manard's scent was gone.

Even though Remus was alone in the forest, which was quite possibly one of his worst nightmares, he couldn't help but be relieved.

As predicted, Remus did not find Greyback—or rather, Greyback did not find Remus.

Remus wandered around for ages, trying to decide whether it would be a good or bad thing if he escaped this whole horror-fest without seeing Greyback at all. On one hand, he wouldn't be able to get rid of the monster once and for all. On the other hand, he did not want to see him.

But to be quite honest, Remus wasn't as revenge-obsessed as Manard was. He couldn't imagine the horrors that Manard had gone through, of course, but he also couldn't imagine being so filled with hatred that he chose to be in pain. He couldn't imagine being so fixed on revenge that he mistreated others because of it. He couldn't imagine being so bitter that he let it rule his life and occupy his mind wherever he went. Remus was angry with Greyback, yes, but he wasn't that angry.

Perhaps Remus' hatred was directed elsewhere, though. Perhaps Remus felt fear and self-hatred where Manard felt anger. Perhaps Remus was no better than Manard—here he was, choosing to be in pain in this forest just because he felt he needed to sacrifice himself for the mere possibility that Greyback would murder his friends and family if Remus didn't comply. Perhaps Remus should have gone to Dumbledore after all.

Yes, he should have. But he was in too far now, and he had no choice now but to finish what he had started.

And so he wandered, through clusters of trees, across moss and stones, sticks crackling beneath his shoes. He knew he was going to need new shoes soon, but he couldn't find it within himself to care much.

He walked… and walked… and walked.

Suddenly, he caught the scent of another person—a man—and judging by the scent, this was no ordinary tourist. This was a man who had not bathed in a very long time, and probably hadn't had a good meal in quite a while, either. Remus' heart quickened.

He walked toward the scent, and from the noises far off in the distance, he could tell that the owner of the scent was walking toward him, too.

Step. Step. Step.

The scent grew unbearably strong, and then there was a man in Remus' line of vision—ragged, skinny, dirty, and with that odd new scent that Remus had smelled on Professor Questus at the start of summer holidays after Remus' first year….

"You're a werewolf," said Remus and the man simultaneously.

They stared at each other in silence.

The man had brown hair and an odd accent. He had a wild, confused look in his eyes and carried himself like he expected Remus to attack at any moment. "Do you… do you know Greyback?" Remus asked slowly.

"Why? You lookin' to join his pack?"

"I… no."

The man burst into rapturous laughter. "You speak proper, don't you?" he said. "You gotta Warming Charm on you, too. Clean. Shampooed recently. What kinda werewolf are you?"

"A, erm. A civilized one."

"No wonder you're lookin' for Greyback!"

"I'm not looking for him, sir. I think… he's looking for me."

The man laughed harder. "Don't call me sir. And Greyback ain't lookin' for nobody. Trust me. He couldn't care less about you."

"He sent me a letter."

"A… a letter?" wheezed the man. "No, he didn't! Sorry, boy, but you've gotta be mistaken. Who are you, anyway?"

"Erm. I'm not sure I should tell you."

"Why? Whaddam'I gonna do with it? I'm Rocky, by the way."

"Er, okay. Pleased to meet you. I'm… Remus."

Rocky's eyes suddenly blew wide. "You're jokin'," he said. "Not Remus Lupin."

"Yes, actually. How did you know?"

"Only that Greyback hasn't shut up about you!" Rocky shook his head, stunned. "Well, okay. He has, by now. But about ten years ago now—! Oh, man, he kept goin' on and on. Precocious little kid, weren't you?"

"What did he…?"

"I don't remember the details," said Rocky with a casual wave of his hand. "Something about your dad. Something about how Greyback meant to kill you and couldn't. Something about how you wouldn't join him. I'm not sure by now. Greyback thought you woulda been with us in a couple'a years, he did."

"So… he's looking for me?"

"No! Well, maybe, actually—wouldn't put it past him, not with you. But I didn't think he cared anymore. Not even sure he remembers. Why? Did you want to speak to him?" Rocky grinned. "Revenge or some sort? Ask him some questions?"

"If he's offering, I suppose."

"He's definitely not offering, kid. You speak to him, you join him. He won't settle for anythin' less."

"You're with him?"

"Of course."

"So he's here, in the Black Forest?"

"Nope, not yet. Just sent me an' some others down here to scope the area. Been lookin' at it for a while now. We're thinkin' about settin' up camp here for a while, you know. You're free to come down when you're ready, but it'll be several months before we're here."

Remus took a deep breath. "What's it like?" he asked—not because it would help anything, but because he was curious.

"What, bein' with Greyback?"

"Yes, that."

"Fun. Most people see us as monsters, but it's much better here than in the human world. I was there for only two months. Couldn't do it." Rocky shuddered. "But transformations are much easier with Greyback. He doesn't make us kill if we don't want to. Enough to eat. Enough to drink. Everything runs smoothly, it does."

"Have you… ever bitten anyone?"

"Of course! It's good fun to see 'em run! How about you? You've been one for slightly longer than I have."

"Erm… no. I haven't ever bitten anyone, and I don't intend to."

Rocky rolled his eyes. "I don't think Greyback wants you at all," he said. "Best run along, if you've not got anything productive to do. I won't tell Greyback I saw you if you answer one little thing for me."

"I… okay. Sure."

"You're a werewolf who knows how it feels to be suffering in a world that hates you. D'you blame me for taking the easy route? Am I evil, Remus Lupin?"

Remus froze.

"You can say whaddever you want, you know. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"I…" Remus sighed. "I'm sorry. Yes, I do. I have to hold you to the same standard as I hold myself, and I would count myself a terrible person if I did any of that. I know lycanthropy is terrible, and I know it hurts, but… yes. I do blame you. I do think you're a terrible person."

Rocky stared at Remus, unmoving. "I'm goin' to keep my promise," he said, voice cold as ice. "Greyback will never know you were here. But… go to hell, Remus Lupin."

There was a crack, and then Rocky was gone.

Remus sat on a tree stump and cried.

Apologies for missing a day. I was out of town (much like Manard and Remus, who are out of town in the most literal sense).