AN: In memory of Akira Toriyama.
It's been years...
Years since Goku started the legendary journey for the Dragon Balls.
Years since Goku embarked on his journey to Namek.
Years since Goku unlocked the Super Saiyan transformation.
And years since Cell perished thanks to Gohan's upbringing.
The Son residence was quiet today, too quiet. Goku was on the couch tired and appeared to be very distressed after the Tournament of Power and training Broly. The aftermath of such trials and tribulations from his fights proved to be overwhelming for such a kind-hearted Saiyan warrior. Determined to stay as Universe 7's strongest protector and Beerus' feeder for food to keep him from destroying Earth. But as difficult things have been for Goku, he doesn't know anyone about his troubles does he?
It was said that self-realization is what kills the mind, your entire mindset altogether. Goku is determined to bring his resolve back in order, but then he realizes that every time he does, he is thrust into this new worldview that has impacted his mind ever since. There was a darkness circling him, almost troubled. Voices constantly berate him over and over again for no reason all to just make him miserable as it seems. To Goku, this wouldn't be an issue in battle, but in reality, it's a new story that is deep on a personal level.
Something was wrong.
He wasn't like this.
He was never like this.
So why does this keep happening?
What's going on in Goku's world that is making him this way?
Goku remains sitting on the couch, quiet as a mouse with his hands tied together. He constantly stared at the floor as the room was dark with hardly any lighting. The lack of a positive atmosphere was something unheard of for him. Goku would always have an optimistic and kind smile everywhere he goes. But this time? It's like a new reality sinking in for the worst.
Just as things couldn't get any worse, Goku looks up and sees his wife just standing there looking at him. Goku gasps quietly and gives an uneasy stare at her.
"H-Hey honey." Goku awkwardly greeted.
Chi-Chi stays in place as she looks at Goku with a sad glare. "Goku..." Tears were starting to enter her eyes. "I've been very concerned since I found you like this."
She continues, distress visible in her voice. "What is going on? Just tell me."
"Honey, it's... It's complicated, alright?" Goku tries to reassure the situation.
"No, it's not!" Chi-Chi yells as tears stream down her cheeks. "Stop lying to me! Tell me the truth now!"
"It's just... Difficult for me to explain this." Goku sighs. "You know how I always love fighting and every battle feels great? Well, for the first time, I'm starting to experience the opposite."
"No..." Chi-Chi mutters as she bit her lips, tears escaping fast. "You can't be like this, Goku. This is not you."
"Honey, look, I told you!" Goku was getting frustrated. "It's complicated... I don't have the exact clue why I'm being this way!"
As Chi-Chi continues crying, Goten walks in curiously. "Mommy? Daddy? What's going on?"
Chi-Chi stares back at Goten halfway as she can't believe what she is about to confess. "Your father doesn't have the will to fight anymore."
"What!? Impossible!" Goten widens his eyes in shock.
"That's true, Goten." Goku sighs again, clearly flustered about the situation. "Things have changed and I have this new worldview on me for some reason. I don't know why."
As Chi-Chi stares back at Goku, she starts to frown. "Goku..."
Goku looks up at his wife, clearly conflicted over what to say. "P-Please, honey. I can fix this-"
He was interrupted by Chi-Chi running away in tears and slamming the door violently in the bedroom. Goku can hear squeals from the other side as Chi-Chi is having an emotional meltdown over this sudden turn of events. As Goku listens to his wife's cries, he angrily grits his teeth and clenches his fist.
"D-Daddy..?" Goten steps back as Goku looks at him.
"Goten, just... Just go to your room." Goku sighs as he walks back to the couch. "I'll settle this tomorrow."
Goten quietly just looks at Goku before turning around to his room again and walking away. Goku would be in a mess if word got out about this, but he needs a solution if he wants to get back to fighting and show his strength for real rather than weakness.
The next day, Goku woke up from the couch after he couldn't be in the master bedroom with his wife. He leaves the house and flies to West City to hopefully get help from either Piccolo or Vegeta, whoever comes first. Goku had to act quickly or this will be an even bigger mess than before.
Upon arrival, much to his newfound relief, he saw Piccolo there with his arms crossed and the same scowl he always wore. The Namekian warrior was quiet until he sensed Goku nearby and looked up to see him descend upon his arrival. "What do you want, Goku?" Piccolo asks, feeling suspicious of Goku's troubled demeanor.
"Hey, Piccolo..." Goku waves for a moment. "Listen, do you have a moment to talk?"
"I'm all ears." Piccolo said. "Let's hear it."
"...I've been thinking about my fights lately." Goku looks down a bit stressed. "Ever since then, I've been having voices in my head. I don't what they were, but it's radically changed my outlook on the world right now and myself."
"It's just negative self-talk, Goku." Piccolo sighs. "You can get over it easily."
"That's the issue, it's not." Goku looks at Namekian troubled. "Whatever these thoughts are, it's making this whole Universe's strongest warrior feel so astray doesn't it?"
"What do you mean?" Piccolo raises an eyebrow curious.
"I mean, I don't want to sound cruel or anything, but in the past, I was 'pure heart' before." Goku said with determination. "Now all of a sudden, I've become something so far from myself that I realize that I'm not the pure of heart I used to be anymore. Everything just feels apathetic."
"Goku, get over yourself." Piccolo tries to reason with him. "This isn't the past where we used to be enemies fighting to the death years ago. This is a new age we're dealing with and we're dealing with the ongoing threat that Beerus presents."
"I know that!" Goku yells, gritting his teeth frustrated. "But it's like every fight has been a cruel truth after another. Nothing seems fair like it used to be anymore."
Piccolo was quiet as if he was understanding the sense Goku was making out here. But remained still as his arms folded.
"Then I kept hearing those voices in my head." Goku looks down. "This whole mess feels like a nightmare over and over again."
"Goku... This is the first time I've seen you so different than your usual self." Piccolo couldn't believe what he was hearing. "To think that you knew fighting was strong suit, the opposite just keeps happening."
"Yeah, and it's brutal Piccolo." Goku frowns as he looks up. "I need your help to get rid of it."
"It's not in my expertise to help you out of your troubles, I'm afraid." Piccolo looks down. "Maybe Vegeta can help you, but I don't know."
"Did someone call me?"
Both Goku and Piccolo quickly turned around to see Vegeta there with his gruff steely scowl, his intimidating pose still unwavering.
"Vegeta." Piccolo muttered quietly.
"Kakarot, what's gotten into you?" Vegeta glares at Goku, feeling something off. "Of all the times we've been sparring, you're acting unlike your usual self."
"Of course I am, Vegeta." Goku said determined. "I know it's complicated, but you gotta listen to me-"
"WHAT'S COMPLICATED, YOU BUFFOON!?" Vegeta harshly yells at him. "I thought you were better than this! Learn your Saiyan pride already! Not show weakness!"
"It's not weakness, Vegeta!" Goku yells back, clearly ready to transform. "I'm just dealing with a whole new worldview right now that's changing the perspective of my fights and my status as a Saiyan warrior."
Vegeta was taken aback as Goku continued. "I felt pain far stronger than all my previous battles combined and I'm going to find a way to overcome it!"
"No way... Impossible." Vegeta clenched his teeth. "Your weakness is growing, Kakarot."
"It's not weakness! I told you!" Goku denied.
"That's enough! Both of you!" Piccolo yells out loud. "Goku, go and bring this up to Beerus and Whis. I'm sure they got the remedy just for you."
"Aw gee. Thanks, Piccolo." Goku lightly smiles despite the already conflicted Vegeta. "After all, I do train there a lot."
"I can't believe this is happening." Vegeta thought as his teeth were still clenched in disbelief. "Kakarot had always looked at his battles without limits and now... He's going against them!?"
"Thanks, guys. For all your help." Goku smiles as he looks at the sky. "I'll be back with an update. Just promise me that if I don't find a solution to this, have Bulma help me instead."
Both Piccolo and Vegeta look at Goku with an unchanged demeanor. "This will go away in an instant. I swear!"
Goku uses his instant transmission to get to Lord Beerus' Planet. Leaving the duo at Earth staring up into the sky with uncertainty.
"Goku." Piccolo clenches his fists. "What's gotten into you all of a sudden?"
Beerus's Planet
At Beerus's planet, Goku makes a soft landing as he touches the ground while looking both ways to find Whis. While he was looking, Goku took several deep breaths to himself and tried not to overthink a lot of things. This could already drive him mad, if not make things worse than before. He had to trust himself in the process but was unsure how to deal with it. Either way, this is a mess Goku needs to clean.
After wandering around for some time, Goku finally encounters Whis. "Hey, Whis!" Goku fakes a smile. "How's everything going so far?"
Whis stops watering the plants and turns his attention to Goku. "It's nothing much, Goku. I can assure you." Whis replies. "I've noticed something missing. Where's Vegeta? Are you not here for training?"
"Ah, about that." Goku awkwardly scratches his hair. "I'm here for something else."
"Oh?" Whis puts the watering can down and looks at Goku. "And what might that be?"
"Well, you see... It's about my thirst for battle and being the strongest." Goku looks down as he explains. "I feel as if it's been compromised and it has made everything turn upside down. Like I have everybody against me for showing weakness."
Whis looked quite serious. "Is that so?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if I could see Lord Beerus about this." Goku requested determinedly, raising his right fist in the air.
"I will let you see, Lord Beerus. However..." Whis clears his voice. "I feel that what you said may impact our standing between you and home planet Earth."
"I don't care." Goku lowers his fist as he frowns.
Whis looks at Goku with a short smile. As if he wasn't sure whether Goku was playing or not. After a brief pause, Goku speaks up again.
"...I just want to see him." Goku said. "Please, for old time's sake."
"Right this way." Whis flies upward as Goku follows him.
During their flight, Goku could tell that he had a bad feeling about this. "I don't know if Beerus can vanish this turmoil out of existence. But I have to trust him! It's the only way out!"
Upon arrival, Goku and Whis descended to the ground slowly while Lord Beerus stood there minding his own business. He looks back and can see his master, but also Goku alongside him. "Lord Beerus, Goku's here for a little chit-chat." Whis chuckles.
"Really?" Beerus wasn't impressed as he looked back at Goku. "What do you want, Goku?"
"Well... There's something urgent I wanted to tell you." Goku explained seriously. "I don't know how to tell you this, but my thirst for battle has been compromised."
"Compromised?" Lord Beerus turns around to face Goku. "What do you mean by that?"
"Things aren't the same as they used to be anymore." Goku explains as he looks at the ground. "These days, my worldview has been altered by internal turmoil and it has stopped me from wanting to battle all over again. As a result, I've gotten paranoid a lot from all of this and it wasn't easy. Given my plight as Universe 7's strongest warrior."
"Interesting, so this little turmoil you're having is no longer giving you the desire to fight?" Beerus said seriously. "Sounds like weakness to me."
"It's not weakness, Beerus!" Goku yells madly. "It's just something else!"
He continues pleading. "I don't know what's making me more paranoid already. Please... Need words of guidance! Therapy even!"
"You fought the strongest at the tournament to save your sorry universe just so you could consult me for therapy?" Beerus hasn't crossed his arms. "I must say, I'm not impressed with this at all. Not even one bit."
"Please, Lord Beerus!" Goku pleaded. "Maybe anything to resolve this matter is important for me! Anything!"
"I'm afraid I got nothing to help you, Goku." Beerus yawns as he puts his arms back. "As a result, it seems the terms of our contract for Earth is starting to dwindle since you came."
Goku was taken back, he realized Beerus might have his eyes set on Earth to destroy if he pressed on with this more. Something Goku himself cannot allow.
The duo stare at each other, as Whis looks back to watch this unfold. He would imagine nothing would hamper between Goku and Beerus, but this does shed light on a lot of new things.
As tensions brew, Goku knows that he can't fight Beerus because of the turmoil inside him. It was almost as if he knew this would happen, but paid no attention to Whis's warning from the start. After all, Goku was never bright on things he didn't have control over, not for himself even. He should be the one to blame and no one else.
If Beerus plays along with this, severing the contract would instill Goku against Beerus all over again. While he doesn't want him to be enemies but rather a sparring opponent, this whole new outcome can change the tide for the worse.
"Fine." Goku agrees, clenching his fists. "I don't need your help to solve my problems. I'll go elsewhere."
Beerus continues looking at Goku, clearly bemused by Goku's self-determination.
"I will be back, better, and prove it to you when it happens." Goku smirks as he powers up. "Farewell, Beerus. If you get to Earth, tell Bulma and Chi-Chi I said hello."
Goku flies away from Beerus's planet, leaving Whis to look at him momentarily before turning his attention to Beerus again. "So, Lord Beerus. Shall I make the arrangement?"
Beerus, who was busy staring and watching Goku fly away, looks at Whis. "By all means, Whis." Beerus said as he looked at him confidently. "I just want to have food and fun."