A/N: I do not own any character references by JK Rowling in the Harry Potter series. This story is a product of my pure imagination.
My foes and friends watch my reign end.
I don't know how it could've ended this way.
Smoke billows from my ships in the harbor.
People look at me like I'm a monster.
Now they're screaming at the palace front gates, used to chant my name.
Now they're screaming that they hate me.
Never wanted you to hate me
~ Castles Crumbling by Taylor Swift and Hayley Williams
*~*~* February 13, 2002 *~*~*
Groaning as her alarm clock went off, Hermione reached over and turned it off, then laid back on her back. With a sigh, she looked at her still-darkened ceiling, dark enough that she could not see the texture of the ceiling. For some reason, she felt off as if the day would be a long, no-good, horrible day.
Sighing, she got up, throwing her covers off her body. Standing up, she stretched and felt the first tinge of pain in her midsection. Turning on her lamp, she sighed in exasperation as she saw the blood stain on her sheets. She had started her period during the night. Throwing her covers and pillow to the foot of the bed, she pulled the sheet off and balled it up. Opening her wardrobe, she pulled the hanger with her outfit for the day, prepared from the night before.
Walking down the stairs, she entered the bathroom and started showering. After a quick rinse-off, she was getting dressed when she ripped the zipper on her new pair of pants.
"What the fuck," Hermione grumbled as she grabbed her pajamas and went up the stairs to find a new pair of pants.
After finally getting dressed, she went downstairs to the laundry and threw her pajamas and sheets into the washer. Walking into the kitchen, she was on her third strike out of the day as she found no milk for her cereal or eggs.
Harry walked into the kitchen just as she slammed the door to the fridge, "Good Morning."
"No, it's not. Am I the only one to put things on the grocery list?" Hermione asked as she picked up her blank shopping list, "No milk, no eggs, and nothing on the list!"
Harry sighed, "Ron made French toast last night before he went to bed."
Hermione went over to the bread box and opened it to find one slice of bread, the heel, in the bag. Screaming through her teeth as she balled up her fists, she threw them across the room to the trash can, "I guess I'll get something from the cart in the ministry."
As she went to storm past Harry, he pulled her into his arms, and she sighed as she relaxed into his embrace, "I don't know what is wrong, but if I can fix it, let me know," Harry mumbled into her hair.
Hermione sighed, "I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I've felt off since I woke up. My grandmere always called in ennui. I feel weary for some reason."
Their fireplace lit green, casting a green eerie glow in the dining room. Harry moved her behind him, pulling his wand out as Luna stepped out of the floo.
"Luna? What are you doing here?" Hermione asked, moving around Harry.
Luna smiled, "I just felt like coming to see you to share my news."
Hermione walked over to Luna to hug her, "Happy Birthday!"
"It is my birthday, but that is not my news," Luna stated, "Thank you though. For my birthday, I decided to settle into a sexual relationship with Rolf."
Harry choked on the water he had just drank, "That's good."
Hermione bit her lip, "Isn't Rolf older than you?"
"Rolf is 15 years older than me, but he is not only a talented magizoologist but also talented in and out of bed," Luna stated.
"I'm… just… yeah," Harry said as he left the sitting room.
Luna walked over to Hermione, "I assume you are heading to work, but could I join you for your lunch break?"
Hermione smiled, "Sure, I take my lunch break around one. I have to swing by my Mum's to give her Teddy's medication for his cold since she is picking him up from nursery, but then we can go to lunch after that."
"Or can I take his medication?" Luna offered.
Hermione shook her head, "I'll meet you at the Leaky Cauldron around 1:15."
"See you then!" Luna said with eyes wide of excitement as she entered the floo and disappeared.
Harry returned to the room, saying, "I can't believe how open she is with everything."
Hermione bit her lip, "It has to be a bit freeing."
Harry looked at her, "You know you can tell me anything. Even your deepest, darkest secret and I'd never tell a soul about it. What is your deepest, darkest secret?"
Hermione looked at him, "I feel like something is wrong with me, and I am a little broken inside."
Harry took her hand, "There is nothing wrong with you. We are all a little broken inside. You better get going before you are late."
Hermione smiled at Linda as she left the back office, she was using at the DRCMC, saying, "I am heading out to lunch, Linda, if anyone asks about me."
"Have a good lunch, Hermione," Linda stated as she returned to typing.
Hermione ventured down to the atrium and took the floo to the Leaky Cauldron. Greeting Hannah, she stated that she and Luna would be meeting for lunch in fifteen minutes. Stepping out into the magical side, Hermione disapparated to her Mum's house.
Opening the door, she walked inside, "Mum, I'm here, and I brought Teddy's medicine."
Juliet came out of the kitchen surprised, "Hermione, darling, I didn't realize you were coming."
"I forgot to send Teddy's cold medicine to the school this morning for them to give to you, so I thought I'd stop over and give them to you on my… break," Hermione trailed off as her father came up behind her mother, "Daddy!"
Dan Granger caught Hermione in his arms, "Hello Princess, how are you?"
Hermione looked up at him, "Why didn't you tell me you would be coming home?"
"There are some things that I needed to do," Dan said as he looked at Juliet, "Hermione, honey, we need to talk to you."
Hermione felt the feeling that had plagued her all-morning return in full force, "What's wrong?"
Her father guided her to the couch and sat beside her, and Juliet sat on the chair opposite him. "I've decided to stay in Australia. The climate and people work so much better for me down there. I love you and your mother so much, but we decided we need to officially part ways."
"Hermione honey, we filed our divorce this morning," Juliet explained.
Hermione looked at Dan, "So I'm just…never going to see you? Phone calls are my only future with you? I don't understand, Dad."
"I will make an effort to come more often. I swear it, especially when you get married and have children. I'll be here for your birthday and Christmas. I already have those dates saved in my calendar to be here. We will play it by ear, honey," Dan explained.
Hermione stood up, wiping angrily at her tears, "I… I have to go."
"Hermione darling, no, please stay," Juliet stated.
"I… I have a meeting," Hermione shook her head as she rushed to the back door and into the backyard. As she made it to the apparition point, she saw her parents come out to the patio as she disapparated.
Landing in the field near the Burrow, she collapsed to her knees as she tried to catch her breath. Shakily, she took her mobile phone out and found Maria's contact information.
After two short rings, Maria answered, "Hermione, are you safe? Is everything okay?"
"I think… I'm having a… panic attack," Hermione gasped as the tingling in her hands nearly made her lose grip on her phone.
"I need you to breathe with me, Hermione. One…two…"
Later that evening, Hermione slowly unlocked the front door to Harry's house. Upon opening the door, Harry appeared on the other side, "Thank God, Hermione!" He yelled, pulling her into his arms, "I've been worried sick. Your Mum and Dad came here looking for you. Mum left me 15 calls while I was in class. You didn't go back to work. Linda said they were about to send out the Aurors when George messaged that you would be taking the rest of the day off."
Hermione wiped her eyes, "I'm okay, I went to the Burrow for a bit and saw George. Then just.. went for a walk. I somehow ended up in the Forest of Dean."
Harry rubbed her arms as he pulled her into the sitting room and sat her down next to the fire, "You are freezing. I'm going to make you some tea."
Hermione heard Harry moving around in the kitchen, and then he talked on the phone to her mother to inform her that she was home.
When he walked back into the room with a steaming cup of her favorite tea, she thanked him as she accepted it, "I'm sorry that I worried you," Hermione told him as she held it in her hands to warm them, "I just had to get away. I couldn't think. I couldn't breathe. I ended up at the Burrow, but no one was home but George. I ended up walking to Luna's. Her father didn't hear me over the printing press, so I thought about the Forest of Dean and us being on the run. Suddenly, I was there without thinking about it." Hermione set her tea down and put her face in her hands, sobbing, "Why didn't we stay there, Harry? Just grow old there like I suggested?"
Harry sat beside her and put his arm around her, "Because Voldemort would not be dead, you wouldn't have your parents back, and we wouldn't be where we are today."
Hermione scoffed, "I'm still alone."
"You will never be alone. You always will have me," Harry told her, pulling her into a hug, "Now drink your tea. Holly!"
Holly appeared before them, "Oh Hermione, you are frozen to the bone. We need to get you into a bath at once!"
Hermione jumped as she popped away, "I don't really feel cold." She sniffed, "I feel numb. Everything I thought was forever was a lie. If my parents can't survive a relationship, how can I?"
Harry took her hand in his and rubbed them together, "When the time is right, he will be there."
Later that night, after a bath and some hot soup made by Holly. Hermione found herself tucked into bed by Harry.
"Do you want me to stay here tonight?" Harry asked, sitting on the edge of her bed.
Hermione swallowed hard and shook her head, "No, I'll be fine."
"Call for me if you need me," Harry told her as he got up and walked over to the door, "Light on or off?"
"On, please," Hermione stated.
Harry nodded, "Goodnight, Hermione."
"Goodnight, Harry," Hermione said as he shut the door.
Hermione sighed, holding her hand out, "Accio blue journal."
A blank blue journal flew into her hand. Opening the pages, she stared at the blank first page.
"Hermione, it's been a while since we spoke, but how are you and Harry?" Maria asked her after she had calmed down over the phone.
"We live together. Harry has a house. I live with him, Ron, our best friend, and our godson, Teddy. Harry is still with Ginny," Hermione informed her as she sat back on her bottom in the tall grass surrounding the Burrow.
"I have a suggestion for you. I want you to start a journal. Do you journal?" Maria asked.
"No, not since I was in school, and it was more to keep track of studies," Hermione sighed, lying on the frozen grass below her.
"I think this will help you, and when you are ready, you should give it to him. I want you to start a Dear Harry journal. I want you to tell him what you are feeling, get things off your chest that you wish you could tell him, but you won't give yourself the chance to do," Maria instructed, "I think it will help you."
Hermione picked a pen off her bedside table and dated the page.
13 February, 2002
Dear Harry,
Today, I had the worst panic attack that I have ever had. I found out that my parents are divorcing. Teddy is slipping away from us, and I am losing you too. I miss those days when we had just the two of us, sometimes with Luna, too, in your NYC dorm. Things were simpler, and I let myself believe that someday we might have a chance.
Maria and I discussed it, and from this point forward, I am giving you up. It's not something I want to do or will find easy, but I must for my sanity. You deserve to have the life you want and not be forced to have the life I want, or magic wants for you. I can't wait any longer. The longing is too hard. Starting tomorrow, while I am not looking for Mr. Right. Maria and I think it's best. I am looking for Mr. Right Now. For too long, I've been living with the fairy tale idea that romance will come to me when I am ready. 2006, to be exact. But the loneliness is killing me.
I can't wait for the what-ifs anymore. Starting tomorrow, I have to move on.
All my love,
Hermione.
*~*~* February 14, 2002 *~*~*
"Fucking Valentine's Day," Theo grumbled as he sat opposite of her in the Ministry Munchies canteen, "It is a holiday made up by the candy companies to make money."
Hermione swallowed her salad, "Actually, the origins are based on-"
Theo glared at her, "You aren't a bigger swot than I am. I know where it really came from, Granger. I'm tired of the red, love, and hearts spewed everywhere today." Theo sat back, "I want to get drunk. Want to get drunk with me tonight?"
Hermione stared at him, "Theo Nott, are you asking me on a Valentine's Day date?"
Theo's face broke into a grin, "Oh doll, you would know it if I were trying to romance you, but sadly, you don't quite meet the profile of what I look for."
Hermione grinned at him over her glass of lemonade, "Why? I'm not tall, thin, and blonde?"
"More like you aren't a man," Theo explained.
Hermione covered her mouth as she choked on her beverage, "Sorry, sorry, I didn't expect that to come from your mouth."
Theo winked at her, "Now, now, don't worry. If the right feelings come into play, I'd gladly play both fields, but I prefer the male gender." Hermione cleared her throat as Theo bit his bottom lip, "But I am going to take you out tonight, Granger, and you won't be coming home without at least a number."
Hermione felt naked as Theo's eyes swept over her, "What?"
"What are you? A size six?" Theo asked.
Hermione scoffed, "If you think I can fit in a six, you are crazy."
"I say you are a B cup, 88cm chest, maybe 59cm waist. Hips are the same as your chest since you are petite. Got it. Don't worry about a dress. I'll meet you at your house tonight," Theo said as he got up.
"Wait a second, you don't know where I live!" Hermione protested.
"You live with the annoying Weasley and the Chosen One. I know where you live," Theo said, looking at her shoes, "And an 11 shoe, got it. See you at 7."
Hermione huffed as Theo disappeared into the crowds of the canteen.
Daphne sat beside her and picked up a chip from her plate. "Better to just go with it. Theo gets what he wants."
That was how Hermione found herself answering her front door as Theo walked in with a dress bag and a shopping bag.
"Alright, Granger, go get dressed. You have," Theo glanced at his watch as he pulled up his expensive blazer's sleeve, "You have 20 minutes. Go get ready."
Hermione frowned as she took the bags from him, and he pushed her towards the stairs. Harry came out of the sitting room frowning. Hermione watched Harry look up at her, "Harry, not sure if you remember him. This is Theo Nott."
"Wait? The Slytherin Theo Nott?" Harry asked, surprised.
Theo grinned at him, "Hello, Chosen One. You are looking smashing as you age," Theo stated as he looked up at Hermione, "Hermione, you now only have 19 minutes."
Ten minutes after coming upstairs, Hermione attempted to do something with her short hair other than slicking it back in a way that reminded her too much of Malfoy when a knock sounded on her door.
"It's me."
"Come in," Hermione stated.
Harry walked in and stopped, "You have makeup on."
Hermione looked at her lined eyes and the makeup that she had put on to accentuate her cheekbones, "Is it too much?"
"No, it looks good," Harry said as he sat on her bed, "Are you going on a date with Theodore Nott? His Dad was a Death Eater."
Hermione looked at him through her reflection, "He isn't his father. He is interning at the Ministry, and I've gotten to know him at Daphne Greengrass. They are good people. Theo just thought we could go out together for Valentine's Day."
"And he bought you a dress?" Harry asked, taking in the white strapless dress she wore, which was tighter than she would ever have purchased for herself.
Hermione shrugged, "Why not?"
"Hermione," Theo sang as he approached her doorway, "Sorry, but your time is up. Granger, you clean up nicely."
Hermione blushed as she stood up and pulled down the bottom of the dress. "Thank you."
"Don't forget the shoes," Theo said, kneeling down and making his jean trousers tight on his behind, causing Hermione to want to fan herself a bit, "I see you checking me out, Granger."
Hermione blushed, "I just was observing."
Theo took the shoes out of their box and held them up to her feet, allowing her to slip into them, "Fits like a glove."
"I may kill myself in these tonight," Hermione said, looking at her reflection in the mirror.
Theo held out the black leather jacket for her to slip her arms into, "I put a heating charm on it. You will be gold until midnight tonight. After that, Cinderella will just turn cold."
She looked at herself again, standing beside Theo in his dark blazer, grey jean trousers, and black loafers. She nodded, "I'm ready."
"Hopefully, the world is ready for us," Theo said, throwing a black dress hat on his head, "Potter, don't wait up."
Hermione had not expected the wizarding press to be outside Crave that night as the music tempo beat through the air. Squinting through the flashes as Theo nodded to the wizard at the door who let them inside, he quickly placed his hand on her back and led her to the VIP section.
"Well, look at what the dragon dragged in. Hermione Granger, coming down into the dirt with the snakes."
Hermione stared at the dark man before her, "Zabini?"
He tipped his wine glass to her, "Hello."
Daphne rolled her eyes from her place next to him, "Ignore him. He is just a flirt, I'm glad you decided to join us, Hermione."
Hermione sat next to Theo as he sat down to someone else she recognized but couldn't place.
The girl leaned over Hermione as someone poured Hermione a glass of wine, "I stayed to myself, so I doubt you remember me, Tracey Davis."
"One of the lucky Slytherin's to not have a parent on the dark side. She should have been a Ravenclaw like her brother," Theo stated as he grabbed one of the Butterbeers from the center of the table, "Where is Drake?"
Blaise scoffed, "France, Italy… who knows. He finished his potion mastery and has started working on a charm mastery. Cissa says he is just running away from responsibilities at this point."
Hermione swallowed her wine, "Are you talking about Malfoy?"
Theo nodded, "Hasn't hung out with us in a long while. Reminds me of you, you know. Would rather be researching some new potion and having his nose in a book than hanging out with anyone."
"I saw him in the Prophet with some girl on a boat," Hermione stated.
Blaise laughed, "That was my boat, and that girl was Daph's sister."
Daphne looked at Hermione, "You may not have known her. My sister is Astoria. She was in Ravenclaw. My parents tried to stay in the middle, you see. Whatever would make my father money. He and Lucius drew up a betrothal contract between the Malfoy family and my family. Draco would marry me or Astoria, and he would have to pick between us when he turned 20," Daphne explained as she took Blaise's hand. "Blaise and I have been together since our sixth year. So, Astoria is the winner."
"So she has to marry Malfoy?" Hermione asked, surprised.
"No, but they have to court, and Draco must propose to her or someone by the time he is 25, so he and Astoria must get to know each other by then," Daphne told her.
"Why by 25?" Hermione asked.
"Welcome to Pureblooded marriages," Theo said with a sigh, "I'm lucky. My Dad is dead, and I'm the only heir. Now, all contracts are null. Drake isn't so lucky that Lucius is still alive. If he wants to inherit and become head of the family, he has to propose by 25 and be married a year later. Within five years, produce an heir."
"That is archaic. Are all pureblood families that way?" Hermione asked them.
Blaise shook his head, "Only those with the ground to gain by affiliation or keeping their lines pure. Malfoys were all about purity, and Greengrass is a pureblood family that has been going back for at least a hundred years."
"200," Daphne told her, "While my father did not believe in Voldemort's ideals, he believed in the Pureblood fantasy. A female Greengrass will be betrothed to the male Malfoy heir. Astoria was not even born when it was written, and her future was decided."
Hermione approached the bar and waited to get the bartender's attention.
"Look who it is, Hermione Granger."
She turned to see a wizard, clearly several drinks deep, as he leaned against the bar for some support. His robes were messy, and his eyes glassy.
"Yes, that's me," She replied politely.
"How about you join me for a drink?" He suggested, "Or better yet, floo with me to my place."
"No, thank you," Hermione said firmly, trying to move away from him, but the wizard wasn't taking no for an answer. He grabbed her arm, squeezing it surprisingly strongly, "Come on, don't be like that."
Before she could react, a large hand clamped down on the man's arm, "No, means no," A familiar Yorkshire accent stated, "Don't even try it."
The drunk wizard turned his grip on Hermione's arm, loosening, and found himself face to face with Neville Longbottom. His broad shoulders earned by tending to the Hogwarts greenhouses helped his presence seem even more intimidating.
"Hey man, I was just-" The man said as Neville cut him off.
"Just leaving," Neville finished.
The wizard nodded, mumbled an apology to Hermione, and then stumbled away into the crowd.
"Everything okay?" The bartender asked.
Hermione sighed, "One screaming mermaid, please," Hermione ordered.
"I would think you would want more rights for mermaids than them screaming," Neville joked.
Hermione smiled as she threw her arms around Neville's neck, "Neville! So good to see you. What are you doing out of Hogwarts?"
"Came to get some supplies for the school and thought I'd try this place out," Neville said, looking at her as he sipped his drink, "Didn't expect you here."
Hermione tried to hand the bartender a sickle for her drink, and he held his hand up, "Drinks are free for you here," He stated with a wink.
Sipping her drink, it tasted like raspberries and pineapple, "Guess it's a perk of saving the world," Hermione stated
"Where are you sitting?" Neville asked.
Hermione took another sip, "In VIP with the Snakes. I came with Theo Nott."
"Theo Nott? Really?" Neville asked, surprised.
Hermione nodded as she finished her drink and looked onto the dance floor, "Neville, would you like to dance?"
Neville grinned, "I'd love to."
Entering the house, Hermione yelled out, "Harry! Ron! Are you home?" She asked, turning on the lights. She kicked her shoes off and looked back at Neville, "Come in."
"I like what you guys have done to this place since I was here when you moved in," Neville told her as he shut the door behind himself.
"Thanks," Hermione said as she saw the note from Harry that he went to see Ginny for the night and Ron was closing the store tonight and then doing inventory.
Holly popped into the room, "Hermione, you are home with a guest. Would you like a cup of hot chocolate on this chilly night?"
"That would be amazing, Holly. After that, go spend some time with Swift and Harmony. I'll be fine tonight," Hermione stated.
Sitting on the couch ten minutes later with a blanket over them, Hermione put a movie on. She sipped her hot chocolate and looked at Neville, "Thanks for spending time with me tonight. Even worse, being on Valentine's Day."
"Hey, there is no one else I'd rather spend it with right now than you," Neville said with a grin.
Hermione felt her heart skip quickly and returned to her hot cocoa, already losing track of whatever movie. Neville's knee touched her own, and she looked at him to see his Adam's apple jump, "What's wrong, Neville?"
"My Gryffindor courage has never quite been there, but would it be okay to give you a Valentine's Day kiss?" Neville asked.
"Sure," Hermione stated in surprise.
Neville licked his lips and leaned forward as all the lights suddenly went out.
Hermione stared at the slight glow that was Neville's eyes, "Was that you?"
"No, I'm assuming it wasn't you either," Hermione stated as she put her famous blue flames into her hand.
Holly popped in, "I found candles. I think we need more of them."
"These will be perfect, Holly. Thank you," Hermione said as they worked together to light them, "Take the rest with you in the basement. We will be fine."
Hermione looked at Neville, whose face was lit by the flickering light of the candles and the fireplace, "Sorry, this isn't how your evening would have gone."
"No, it's perfect," Neville said as he leaned down and kissed her sweetly, "Just perfect."
Hermione bit her lip and grinned, "Come on, Longbottom, let's go get us some wine."
*~*~* February 15, 2002 *~*~*
Groaning at the knocking in her head, Hermione lifted her head up from the couch to see Ron walking down the stairs, "Do you have to be so loud?"
"Morning to you too, it's not me. Someone is at the door," Ron informed her as she put a pillow over her head, grumbling under her breath at him.
She barely heard the door open and was trying to fall asleep when she swore she heard her Mum's voice. Taking the pillow off her head, she raised it and found her Mum staring at her, "Mum? What are you doing here?"
"Hermione, are you hungover?" Dan asked as he came up behind Juliet.
Hermione groaned, "I'm an adult. I can get drunk if I want to," She told them as she sat up, moaning as her head started pounding.
Ron stood behind her parents, "Need a potion?"
"Merlin, yes," Hermione informed him as she ran her hands through her hair. "No offense. I love you both, but why are you here?"
Juliet came over and sat beside her, "Honey, I'm concerned. It's not like you to get drunk."
"Mum, you don't know everything about me. I don't go out drinking all the time. Last night, I just went out with some friends, and we had too many. I came home, and I slept down here. No big deal," Hermione stated as Ron came in and handed her two vials, "Thank you."
Uncorking the pink potion, she threw it back, enjoying the cherry flavor. Uncorking the blue potion, she tossed it back and closed her eyes as the steam came out of her nose and ears, making her cough. Waving her hand before her face to clear the steam, she said, "Sorry, it helps better than any muggle remedy."
"What was that?" Dan asked, sitting in Ron's recliner.
"Pepper Up potion and a hangover remedy," Hermione stated as she ran her hand over her face, "But like I said, why are you guys here. I thought we talked all this out yesterday."
Juliet looked at Dan and then sighed. She looked at Hermione, "There is something we need to tell you. We should have told you years ago, but it changes nothing," Juliet told her.
Hermione frowned, "What?"
"You see, this isn't your father and I's first separation," Juliet admitted, "We met in college, as you know, dated, and waited until we were both out of school before getting married. The stress of working doctor's hours can be hard. There was a time when we separated. In 1978, we separated for five months."
Hermione frowned, "I was born in 79."
Juliet gave her a sad smile, "You brought us back together. Everything we have done is for you, Hermione. We decided to open the practice together, and we stayed together," Juliet smiled at Dan, "Your Dad has always been my best friend, but the romantic feelings ended long ago. We stayed together for you. We had our rocky times, of course."
Dan came over and sat on the coffee table in front of Hermione, "After we settled into dentistry for three years and had built up our patients, we decided that we felt it was time to start a family. We were 28, well, I was 29, and it just seemed like it was time. We didn't have any success naturally for the first two years, so we tried other methods before finally seeing a specialist. It had been over three years, and nothing had happened. Your mother was healthy. There was no reason behind us not getting pregnant. It was hurting our relationship, so I went to get tested."
Hermione frowned, "You said you found out you couldn't have children after me."
"No honey, I discovered I couldn't have children before you. That is why I left your Mum; I wanted to give her the chance to have children. It was her dream," Dan told her sadly.
Hermione looked at them wide-eyed, "Wait, you aren't my Dad?"
"No, no, honey," Dan said, taking her hands, "You are my daughter, you will forever be my daughter, and I will be your Dad. I am proud to be your Dad. I just am not biologically your father."
Hermione looked at Juliet, "Who is?"
Juliet sighed, "I don't know. Your Dad and I were separated, and I went out drinking with my friends on Christmas Eve. I was depressed that he was ignoring me at the time. You see, I didn't care if he couldn't have children. There were other ways. I got very drunk and met a man on Christmas Eve. He was young. He said he was a roadie from a rock band. Long curly hair, very similar to your own texture. From what I remember, you have his hair color. Reminded me of John Lennon. We had one drunken night. I never saw him again after he left the house with a cigarette in his fingers as he rode off on his motorcycle. By the end of January, I suspected I was pregnant. I went to your Dad, and he came back. Said he would stick by me and help me raise you."
Dan smiled, "You gave us a second chance in more ways than one, Hermione Jean. Don't forget that and how much we love you."
Later that night, as Hermione lay in bed with her journal, she bit her lip as she put her pen to paper.
15 February 2002
Dear Harry,
Today, I found out that I am not a Granger. I have never felt that I fit in anywhere, and I definitely have never fit in with Dad's side of the family. Now I know why. Because I don't. My father is a mystery. Mum has no clue who he even possibly is. I could be a half-blood for all I know. I feel adrift, and it is as if I am getting further from the shore every day.
I keep hoping that you will pull me in. It was nice dancing with Neville yesterday. Maybe I'll consider letting him pull my heart in, too. He is a pretty good kisser.
Love, Hermione.
*~*~* March 1, 2002 *~*~*
Hermione walked down the stairs of their house early one evening to see Harry sitting watching the tele. He glanced up at her, "You are dressed nice. Where are you going?"
"I have a date tonight," Hermione told him, "And I'm staying over at his apartment tonight because I have plans at Hogwarts in the morning before we celebrate Ron's birthday at the Leaky. I'm meeting with Minerva."
Harry frowned, "You are staying over at his house? Hermione, do you trust this guy?"
"Implicitly. It's Neville, Harry," Hermione told him as she checked her light lipstick in the mirror.
"Wait, our Neville?" Harry asked in disbelief.
Ron walked in with a sandwich in his hand, "What about Neville?"
Hermione rolled her eyes at the food flying from his mouth, "I won't be home tonight. I'm sorry I can't go to the Burrow for your birthday. I'm staying over at Neville's tonight."
"After her date with Neville," Harry continued.
Ron choked on his sandwich, "You are dating Neville?! Since when?"
"Valentine's Day, if you must know," Hermione told them as she put her cloak on, "Why do you think he has been coming over on his evenings off?"
"To hang out?" Ron stated, confused, as he looked at Harry wide-eyed, "I thought they were doing research upstairs."
Hermione blushed. While they had been researching plants that would help in the case she had been working on in her research at work, they had also been making out. Never taking it under the clothes. They both had agreed they wanted to take it kind of slow. It felt a little weird to her to even kiss Neville, "Don't get into trouble while I'm gone."
Ron shrugged, "Just watching some tele tonight."
"I have a date, too," Harry blurted out.
Ron looked between them, "What the bloody hell. How am I the only one of us three, single?"
Harry sighed, "Ginny and I got back together last week."
Hermione felt her heart drop and swallowed hard, "Congrats."
Ron hit Harry's shoulder as Hermione grabbed her beaded bag, "You bloody bastard, why didn't you guys tell me?"
"Well," Hermione stated, looking at Ron and Harry, "I'll be going. See you both tomorrow."
Throwing floo powder into the fireplace, Hermione stepped into it, "Longbottom apartment, Hogsmeade."
Hermione looked at herself in the mirror of Neville's bathroom. She was wearing one of Ron's old Quidditch jerseys and a pair of shorts that she had stolen. Biting her lip, she scrunched her curls to give them more lift and get more moisture out of them. She and Neville had gone to the Three Broomsticks and had dinner together. It had been nice, and they shared a few kisses while walking back to his apartment, just past Quidditch Supplies.
Hermione closed her eyes, "It's time to move on. It's time for me to move on," She mumbled as she opened her eyes and looked in the mirror.
Stepping out of the bathroom, Neville looked up from his book and dropped it onto his chest.
Hermione bit her lip as he stared at her, "Is the old Quidditch jersey bothering you? I know it's Ron's, but-"
Neville pulled his duvet cover over his lap, "You," He said as he cleared his throat, "Nice, sorry, you look nice."
Hermione walked over to the bed and crawled under the covers, "What are you reading?"
"Reading, what do… oh, an old book about the benefits of herbalists' work in Italy," Neville said, blushing as he threw the book to the side, "But I don't have to read it."
Hermione put her hand on his face and leaned in to kiss him.
Neville grinned against her lips as he kissed her back. Throwing her arms around his neck, she moved to straddle his lap, pressing down on the growing bulge beneath the covers.
"Merlin's beard, Hermione," Neville gasped, "You are going to kill me."
Neville started kissing down her neck, and suddenly, Hermione felt her skin crawl. Neville looked up at her, "Did you feel that?"
Hermione looked down at him, "What was that?"
Neville frowned, "Your magic, I felt it. It felt like it was pushing me away."
Hermione got off his lap and laid back on the bed, "Damnit!"
Neville looked down at her, "It's happened before?"
Hermione sighed as she ran her hand over her face, "No, but… Damnit, I was trying to move on! You aren't a bad kisser. I thought I could do this!" She said, frustrated.
Neville's eyes met hers, "Something you want to tell me?"
Hermione bit her lip, "Only Ron knows, Minerva and Luna as well. I'm magically compatible with Harry."
Neville's eyebrows shot up, "No shite?"
Hermione nodded, "I'm tired of waiting. I feel like my heart is torn out every time I see him and Ginny together."
"I thought they broke up?" Neville asked.
"Nope, back together," Hermione sighed as she looked at him, "I don't think Harry knows about it, and I was going to tell him on Valentine's Day, but then my parents… well, my Mum…" Hermione breathed to hold back the tears, "Whole different story that I'm not ready to talk about. After that life-changing conversation, I pushed off talking to him until the end of the month. Now he's back with her."
Neville just looked at her, "Magical compatibility? Really? That's rare."
"Lucky me," Hermione sighed, sitting back against his headboard, "I can leave if you want?"
"No, no," Neville shook his head, "Stay, but honestly, Hermione. I loved spending time with you last week. The kissing has been amazing, but it's felt…"
"Weird," Hermione stated.
"Yeah," Neville told her with a frown, "I was hoping it wouldn't after a while."
Hermione laid her head back, looking at the ceiling, "My magic has cursed me. There are so few books on it. Andromeda says I can date other people and even marry someone else possibly. Ron and I never felt right. I just wanted to fight and argue with him all the time. We realized we were forcing the situation, and I don't always feel so angry with him. No one makes me feel like Harry does."
"What are you going to do?" Neville asked.
Hermione shook her head as she looked at him, "Ron made a prediction to Harry back in Divination. I don't even know why I remember it, but I do. When we were together, I looked at his family history; one of his grandmums was a seer. Sometimes, Ron just knows things. He says it's because he is good at strategy. I think it's a bit more. Not that I believe in that foolishness completely. He told Harry that he would suffer, but he would be happy about it." Hermione swallowed hard, "I don't understand it. I don't understand their relationship, but Ginny makes him happy. His happiness is what matters to me. I won't take that away from him."
Neville took her hand, "Well, I'm not Harry, but I'll be your guy friend. I'll go with you when you need someone to go places with you. We can friend date without the kissing or sex. I'm fine with that."
Hermione smiled, "I'd love that."
*~*~* April 26, 2002 *~*~*
Coming out of the Ministry's employee entrance, Harry was standing right outside waiting for her.
"I was about to come in and get you," Harry told her as he held out the umbrella to keep her from the pouring rain.
"I started a new research project and got to build my own team for it. I was researching what I wanted to research. Yes, I know what that sounds like," Hermione said, cutting him off as they crossed the road, "I just lost track of time. Can you slow down? I can't keep up with your long legs wearing heels."
Harry slowed slightly, "Sorry, I just want to get there before George and Angelina arrive."
Hermione bit her lip, "I can't believe George and Angelina are getting married next month. It seems like we lost Fred and George was so depressed."
"Angelina has been good for him," Harry said as they stopped at the intersection and crossed when the signal allowed them.
Hermione gasped as she felt her foot go down and nearly toppled over.
"What's wro… are you okay?" Harry asked, catching her.
Hermione groaned as she pulled her shoe out of the grate. Her heel had broken off when it wedged inside the grate. "Just lovely."
Harry knelt down in front of her, "Be more careful next time. Hop on."
"Oh, like I could have planned this. Thank goodness I wore pants today," Hermione said, taking the umbrella and then hopping onto his back with her shoe in the other hand and hitting him in the chin. "Sorry!"
Harry walked them to the Leaky Cauldron, and Ginny opened the door as they got near it. "What are you two doing?" Ginny asked, "Get in here!"
"Hermione's heel broke," Harry said as he let Hermione down.
Ginny sighed as she took Hermione's heel, "Are you two witch and wizards?" Ginny asked as she fixed it with her wand.
Hermione put the shoe back on her foot, "We were in a muggle area, but thank you."
"High heels look good on you, Hermione," Ginny stated.
"Yeah, Granger. Look at that arse in those pants," Lee stated, looking at her.
Hermione glared at him, "I'm going to get a drink."
The party got rowdier after the soon-to-be-married couple had appeared for their combination stag and hen night. Games had been played, drinks had been spilled, and fun had been had.
Hermione walked up to the bar and ordered another wine from Tom. Luna approached her, and Hermione smiled, "Hey, Luna, I'm glad you made it!"
Luna hugged her, "I have some news. Look!"
Hermione gasped as she took Luna's hand to see the ring on her finger, "Wait, no! Rolf proposed?! Already?!"
Luna looked even more dreamy than usual, "He proposed with a unicorn. The unicorn brought my ring to me on its horn. It was amazing."
Hermione smiled, "I'm happy you are so happy with him, Luna."
"Thank you. Are you and Neville still pretending to date?" Luna asked.
Hermione choked on the wine she had just sipped, "Excuse me?"
"I know you and Neville were friend-dating," Luna told her, "Did you break it off with him? Because he is talking with another witch."
Hermione shook her head, "He can talk to whoever he wants. We parted as friends officially last month, though," Hermione looked over at Neville, "Oh, that is the witch he met, Modesty, Melody, something like that. He went to a conference and met her. He seems happy with her. She is studying for a potions mastery based on what Neville told me."
Ron shouted across the room for Hermione to come over, and she waved him off. "So, have you and Rolf discussed when you want to get married?" Hermione asked, turning back to Luna.
Luna nodded, "We will be married on October 31st. It is the day that the veil between the living and non-living is thinnest, so my mother may be able to attend."
Hermione looked at her, surprised, "This October?"
Luna tilted her head, confused, "Is that too soon, you think?"
Hermione shrugged as Ginny walked over and sat down next to Luna, "It is up to the both of you, obviously, but don't you think you want longer than six months to plan a wedding?"
Ginny spit out her wine, "Say what now?"
Luna looked at her, "Rolf proposed, and we are getting married on Halloween. Will you both be my attendants if we have them?"
"Of course," Ginny said, looking at Hermione wide-eyed as she shook her head, then elbowed Hermione, "Well, Lavender moved on fast."
Hermione looked up and saw Lavender walk in on the arm of a wizard. "That's Anthony Goldstein. He works with me at the Ministry and is an advocate with the MLE Beast department. We have spoken about Werewolf rights a lot." Hermione smiled, "Good for Lavender."
Harry walked over and sat beside Ginny, putting his arm around her. "Hey, Love," Harry said, kissing Ginny's cheek. "George wants the whole family to give a speech."
Ginny glanced in George's direction, "Tell him to give me five minutes so we can finish this conversation about Luna's wedding."
Harry looked at Luna wide-eyed, "You are getting married? Congrats Luna. I'm happy for you."
"Thank you, Harry, don't get too drunk. The Wrackspurts are horribly around you right now," Luna stated.
"Got it," Harry said, kissing Ginny's cheek again and getting up.
Hermione bit her lip, then looked at Ginny, "He called you love?"
Ginny blushed, "Well, we discussed things when we got back together. Harry never told me he loved me the entire time we have been together. I told him he needed to think this out and what he wanted. I want him. I have loved him since I was young, but he needed to consider whether he loved me long-term. He confessed he didn't know what love was, but he cared for me and loved me too."
*~*~* February 23, 2008 *~*~*
Luna looked at her over her parchment, "How did that confession make you feel?"
Hermione sighed as she rubbed her hands over her face, "Horrible. The man I am supposedly soulmates with and feel tremendous feelings for is in love with one of my friends. I'd have to watch it for the rest of eternity while I suffer watching them together."
"But you won in the end," Luna reminded her.
Hermione glared at her, "I know that now, but I didn't then. I was feeling the effects of the unfinished bond, and I didn't think he did either. Honestly, it made me jaded to love because everyone talked about all these amazing feelings of love or even infatuation. I'd never had that feeling outside of Harry. I honestly thought that they were all idiots. Sorry, no offense, even you."
Luna looked at her, surprised, "Me?"
"Yeah, you'd only been with Rolf for less than a year and were already thinking of marrying him? My brain honestly couldn't comprehend it," Hermione confessed. "Honestly, love confused me because I had never been in love. So I had an idea from my parents, who confessed they weren't in romantic love. So, what I felt for Harry was it, but seeing it in person from others was foreign. It wasn't until George and Angelina's wedding that I realized they were truly happy, and that was what it should have been like."
*~*~* May 10, 2002 *~*~*
Hermione stood in front of the mirror in Ginny's old bedroom, carefully adjusting the fabric of her baby blue dress. She had found the dress in a muggle boutique, hoping it would help her feel more confident today as it reminded her of her dress robes from the Yule ball. Today was the day of George and Angelina's wedding. It was supposed to be a happy occasion, but she couldn't shake the heavy weight in her heart.
The Burrow was chaos. Laughter, chatter, and plenty of Mrs. Weasley yelling at pranks being done. It was covered by twinkling lights and beautiful flower arrangements to decorate the house and backyard where the wedding would take place in what looked to be a Weasley tradition that Bill had started.
Taking a deep breath, Hermione walked down the stairs, past George's old bedroom, where Angelina and her bridesmaids were putting their final touches together. Stepping outside, she immediately spotted Harry standing with Ginny. She swallowed hard as Ginny whispered something to Harry, and he laughed, pulling her tighter to his side and sending a pang through Hermione's chest, causing her to rub the area.
"Sucks seeing them so happy, doesn't it?"
Hermione looked over at Lee Jordan, "What do you mean?"
"Granger, none of us were idiots. We all saw how in love you were with him," Lee told her as sparks lit the sky to state that everyone needed to take their seats.
Watching Harry and Ginny talk to Ron and Charlie in the front row made Hermione feel melancholy. Hermione ended up sitting in the middle of the guests next to Oliver Wood, who talked her ear off talking about the team, some Quidditch team, that he was now coaching. As the ceremony began, she was thankful it silenced Oliver. Looking at George as Angelina appeared, George's face lit up as she walked down the aisle. Feeling sick to her stomach with depression and genuinely happy with George after all that he had endured, she sat listening to the bonding, wishing that Harry was near her again like he had been with Bill and Fleur, as well at Percy and Audrey's weddings.
At the reception, the backyard of the Burrow had turned into what Hermione could only describe as similar to a muggle club. People danced on the makeshift dance floor as fairy lights strobed above them. Music filled the air, which was a mixture of wizarding and muggle. The open bar had people enjoying their beverages, covering the empty tables as her classmates and schoolmates filled the dance floor. As she sat near the edge, watching Harry and Ginny move together, looking sickenly in love.
Ron walked over and sat beside her, his face showing concern, "Fancy a dance, Hermione?"
Hermione tossed back her glass of wine, then smiled as she took his hand, grateful for his friendship, "I'd love to."
As they danced, the next song turned to a slow song, and Hermione felt a wave of emotions crash over her as Harry pulled Ginny closer. Ron rubbed her back, sensing her distress, "You okay?"
Hermione hesitated, "It's just… hard. Watching everyone so happy when I'm not. I'm tired of being lonely, Ron. I'm tired of being depressed. I'm cursed, I think."
Ron chuckled, "Now, why do you think that?"
"We were together, and it didn't work out. You cheated on me," Hermione said as he went to say something, "No, it was just the tipping point to realize we shouldn't force it."
"I'm still sorry," Ron said, resting his head on her.
"I was with Taylor, I liked him, but I never thought of him as anything serious. He knew it, too, and we decided to call it off. Oliver he treated me like a princess, and then I came to find out he was cheating on me too. Well, it was even worse as I was the other woman. Let's be honest: Neville and I have never had a real relationship. We did things together and hung out together, but other than a few kisses, there was never anything there," Hermione stated sadly, "Something is wrong with me, Ron."
Ron sighed, pulling her close to him, "I know it hurts to see them together, but Herms, things have a way of working out. It will be okay."
Hermione shook her head, trying to will the tears away, "Don't call me Herms, but," Hermione looked at Ginny and Harry, who were dancing to the faster-paced song, "I don't think it ever will be, Ron. It's… just too much," She told him as her voice broke and she looked away from them.
Ron held her face, "You don't have to go through this alone, Hermione. I'm here for you."
She nodded, but his words felt hollow. The pain was still too raw and real, like a bare nerve. "I need to go," She said, pulling away from Ron.
Ron looked at her, concerned, "Want me to come with you?"
Hermione shook her head, "I just need to go for a run to get my head straight."
"Be careful," Ron told her as Hermione turned and left the tent.
Exiting the tent, she felt the cool evening air hit her, contrasting the warmth inside. It helped her gather herself enough to calmly walk to the edge of the apparition zone of the Burrow's wards.
She had one destination in mind as she disapparated and landed on the doorstep of a familiar home. Before she even had time to knock, the door opened as she wiped away her tears, taking a deep breath.
Andromeda looked concerned, "Hermione, dear, are you alright?"
Hermione smiled, "I'm okay, I just need to see Teddy."
Andromeda nodded as she stepped aside, "Come in."
Hermione entered the house, and Teddy ran around the hallway's corner, "Momma!"
Running into her arms, Hermione pulled him into her arms. His innocent eyes looked up, and he frowned, "Why are you sad?"
Hermione kissed his forehead, "I can't be sad anymore when I have you in my arms, Teddy Bear."
After reading three books to put him to bed, Andromeda and Kingsley popped into Teddy's room.
Andromeda held up a wine glass, "Let's have a talk."
Hermione slowly unwrapped Teddy from her body, glancing at the small wizard to ensure he didn't wake. Following them out to the kitchen, Kingsley kissed Andromeda's cheek, "I'll let you women gossip. I'm heading to bed."
Andromeda looked at Hermione as she swallowed hard and looked away, "The pain is starting, isn't it?"
Hermione swallowed hard as she gulped down some wine, "I wouldn't call it physically painful, but it's like this discomfort in my chest."
Andromeda reached for her hand, "I know you and Neville broke up. It didn't work out?"
Hermione laughed bitterly, "It was like kissing my brother. Worse than it was with Ron. There was just nothing there."
"And he is back with Ginny," Andromeda said sadly.
"It's just so much worse now that we've kissed!" Hermione said as she stood up and felt her magic moving over her body.
"Wait, you kissed?" Andromeda asked, surprised.
"He was drunk after Ginny, and he broke up and didn't remember it. I put off telling him about it too long," Hermione said bitterly, "By that time, they were back together."
"What did it feel like?" Andromeda asked.
Hermione closed her eyes, "Like my body was on fire, a delightful fire. It's the quietest my brain ever has been, too. But it was too short. He pulled away, told me goodnight, then rolled over, falling asleep."
Andromeda sat back, looking at Hermione, "Can you do something for me? For this old woman?"
Hermione rolled her eyes, "You aren't old."
"Just humour me. Will you swear to me that you will go out on some dates? I know there are websites for dating. Will you humor me and make a profile?" Andromeda asked as she took her hand, "It kills me to feel your pain, Hermione. I know you don't want Harry to be forced to choose. I get it. But this is causing you actual pain, Hermione."
Hermione looked down at the table and watched a tear hit the table. Sniffing, she picked up her wine glass and tipped the remaining amount back, "Do you have a computer?"
a/n: Thank you for the follows; TinasheShoko, Enigma1115,Zzsasgg, 3, and Ellavay! Also thank you for the review Hudy Leak613!
Officially on vacation and officially up to 2004 in writing! Just saying, 2005 is going to be a big year for the characters. I know some people are frustrated with the characters. Here is something to know, Harry's relationship choices are based off my sister. My sister was with her ex for nine years, going back and forth, engaged, not engaged. Before she finally broke it off with him and got together with her friend from high school that she secretly had a crush on, but he had been with her friend when they were in school. I get it, I wanted to scream at her and yell at her, but the heart and the mind sometimes don't coincide with what they should have. Love is blind.
I'm excited to see how the direction the story is soon going will be received. Some won't like it, but I promise, stick it out. In less than three months (writing time dependant) I promise until all answers will be answered, but that won't be the end of the story. No worries.
Preview of Chapter 25- The Prophecy
Hermione smiled at him, "Thank you, Harry. You look handsome yourself," She said, taking in his dress shirt and dark trousers.
As she approached them, the scent got stronger. As she paused and sniffed the air, she asked, "What's that smell?"
Harry blushed, "Does it smell awful? Ginny got me this can of body spray. I think I used too much."
Hermione found her body moving closer on its own accord as she sniffed him and closed her eyes, "No, not awful. In fact, I need to move back a bit. You smell way too good."