"Come on fucker, wake up." Lucifer carefully tried to lift Adam into a sitting position, but he was completely limp.
This never happened. It wasn't supposed to happen. Lucifer knew what a Fall was like, he'd gone through it himself. Your body plummeted to the ground, transforming into what would be your new form. It was agony, but typically you were awake to know that. Lucifer had always assumed it was part of the punishment. (Maybe even after being cast out, Adam still held enough favoritism that they spared him the pain... but that seemed incredibly unlikely. Even still, he should be awake by now.) Adam had broken the contract with Hell. He attacked Charlie. And for that, Adam wasn't allowed to simply die. Death would be a release. Adam went back on a deal and there was a price to pay. And that price was damnation.
But in order to suffer Adam needed to be awake. A little dizziness or disorientation could be expected, but Adam was comatose. This wasn't normal.
He supported Adam's torso with one arm as he held his head in his other hand, looking into those half-lidded eyes. There was nothing- no light, no movement. Lucifer might as well have been holding a life-sized Adam doll at this point. "You love hearing yourself talk, so you should definitely say something." He moved his hand up Adam's cheek to his black eye. He used his fingers to pry the lid open, trying to see if there was any reaction. The gold that seemed to represent the pupil was dull, unmoving in the black void around it. The white eye didn't seem to have a pupil at all.
"Why is he here? What's wrong with him?" Charlie was getting closer. Lucifer held his hand out to stop her from approaching. It was bad enough that Charlie had seen the vision too- that combined with Carmilla's reaction meant that this was not something he could ignore.
"Why he's here is... complicated, as for what's wrong... I'm... not sure." Lucifer believed in signs and omens. He had to- he was an angel after all, fallen or not. And all of this seemed to signal something bad on the horizon. When it had just been his own instinct and discomfort, he could ignore it. He was the Devil, after all, suffering was nothing new. But now it was affecting Charlie. Now something had to be done about it.
"Is he dead?" Thankfully, Vaggie seemed to pick up on Lucifer's concerns, because she was now holding Charlie's arm, pulling her gently back from Lucifer and the Sinner on the ground.
"I mean, yes. Technically speaking." Lucifer's attempt at humor only got him a dirty look from both girls. "But no. As far as Sinners go, he's alive, just... I dunno... unconscious?" Lucifer shifted Adam so he was more or less laying against the Devil, giving Lucifer use of both his arms again. He forcibly opened the black eye on Adam's left side with his fingers. (He had no idea if Adam could even see out of the right one. If he couldn't, it fucking served him right after what happened to Vaggie. Sure, Lute had done the actual deed, but it was with Adam's permission, and apparently the fucker had overseen the whole thing so, if he ended up being blind in that eye: good. An eye for an eye.) A light appeared on his index finger on his other hand, and he lifted it, so it shown directly in the open eye.
The golden pupil swelled exponentially larger for a moment before returning to its original size. So, he was definitely alive. Was that really a good thing? That was debatable (probably not, that meant he was Lucifer's problem now), but it was at least confirmation he wasn't dead. But why wasn't he awake? In fact, Lucifer couldn't really recall any recent incidents of Sinners being asleep at all. Maybe the fact that Adam Fell made things a little different, but that didn't account for whatever this shit was.
Lucifer made the light vanish, releasing Adam's eye. As he pulled his hand back, he saw golden blood staining his black glove. He quickly wiped it off on his suit lapel. Now that was a little more expected, sustaining an injury during a Fall was traditional, to say the least. Maybe he just got knocked out? Lucifer turned Adam's head to examine the silhouetted side. He could see flecks of golden blood along the temple and cheek. Must have been where he hit the ground. Face first. That must have been fucking hilarious- Lucifer was a bit sad he had missed it. The injury had been hard to see due to Adam's... unique coloration and the dim lighting (it was rather late). Maybe all of this was just due to some head injury. (Though Lucifer had always assumed Adam had a thick skull.)
"Dude did you fucking ditch me back at the bitch ballet? What the actual fuck, asshole!?" Cain's voice reminded Lucifer that he had started this whole adventure with company. He looked up for a moment to see the angry Sinner storming toward him in quite a huff.
"Hi Uncle Cain." Charlie gave a little wave.
"Hi Charlie." Cain immediately lost any sense of anger, waving at Charlie, before turning back to Lucifer, rage restored. "You can't just abandon me you sack of dicks! She tried to go over boring graphs with me about fucking population growth!" Lucifer ignored him, examining the injury on the side of Adam's head. It was... really mild, actually. There was no way something like this had knocked him out.
"You should know about population growth, Cain. You're literally masterminding Hell's food production."
"But it's soooooooo boooooring- is that my fucking dad." Cain finally had noticed Lucifer was busy. It took him long enough. "Woah, woah woah," he stepped back, instinctively putting an arm in front of Charlie and Vaggie. (Lucifer was almost touched that Cain's selfish ass thought about protecting his daughter, but Cain had always treated Charlie like a niece, so it wasn't too surprising.) "What is going on, I thought he was fucking dead. Why is he here looking like some sort of half-assed art project a third grader would think was avant-garde?"
"Yeah, dad why is he back?" Charlie was on Cain's side; Lucifer didn't love the fact that they were teaming up against him. Lucifer sighed heavily, looking up.
"Adam broke a contract, Charlie. That results not just in death, but it means he must come here. Even if your weird little maid hadn't stabbed him, he'd still have been our problem. She only delayed the inevitable."
"So, when I was opening up to you about how seeing my dad murdered on live TV made me feel, you knew he'd be coming back, and you said shit-all to me?" Cain looked quite upset.
"Omigosh, Uncle Cain, I didn't think about the fact that Adam was your dad! I didn't send you a sympathy card or anything." Charlie interrupted before Lucifer even had a moment to react. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Cain once again instantly softened up when talking to Charlie, "you were just doing what you had to do. And I haven't talked to my dad in fucking forever anyway. And apparent he came back, so really you did nothing wrong. Sure, would have been nice to know that was going to fucking happen," He glared directly at Lucifer, but the Devil was content to ignore him, "but I digress."
"I wasn't one hundred percent certain, if you must know." Lucifer finally spoke up. "I didn't want to get your hopes up if I was wrong."
"Get my hopes up?" Cain squinted at him. "That he was coming back? Or that he wasn't?"
"I don't fucking know Cain, pick one." Lucifer had better things to do than focus on arguing with Cain. "I'm the devil, not a god damn mind reader."
"Why is he asleep?" Cain tilted his head to the side. Lucifer pinched the bridge of skin between his eyes in frustration.
"I am trying to figure that out. But someone keeps interrupting me." Lucifer's crimson eyes flickered to meet Cain's green one.
"We just have a lot of questions," Charlie spoke up. "And you're kind of being avoidant right now."
"Char-Char, you are never an interruption. I'm talking about Cain, he's an asshole." Lucifer quickly corrected. "But I can't give you answers that I don't have. But give me some time, and I can figure this whole thing out."
"Oh, for fuck's sake! It's not that hard to wake someone up, I'm an expert. Got your ass up today, didn't I?" Cain walked over and before Lucifer could protest, he raised his hand and slapped the white side of Adam's face. (At least it wasn't the side with the pre-existing injury, Lucifer supposed.) Everyone was quiet for a moment, Charlie had her mouth covered, Vaggie was still holding her arm, Cain looked pleased with himself, and Lucifer looked like he felt: which was fucking annoyed. "Huh..." Cain looked down at Adam who remained catatonic. "Didn't work."
"NO! Really!? You fucking think?" Lucifer glared up at him.
"It worked on you." Cain retorted.
"Um, dad, what's he talking about?" Charlie spoke up again. Lucifer gave Cain a look to keep his mouth shut.
"Nothing crabapple~" He kept his voice light, easy going. "Cain just woke me up out of bed because he's an inconsiderate asshole. Isn't that right Cain."
"Yep." Thankfully, Cain wasn't quite as dumb as he looked. "Your dad ignored me when I wanted to go in the house."
"Wait, why can Cain go in the house and not me!?"
"I was home." Fuck. Charlie was still hung up on the house thing? He did NOT want her seeing the fucking disaster that he had created in the house. It wasn't at all clean. It didn't matter if Cain saw it. Lucifer didn't give two shits about Cain's opinion. "Different set of rules, Char-Char~"
"I thought you said it wasn't show ready." Charlie was glaring at him. Lucifer took a deep breath.
"Charlie, I'm sorry about the house thing. I honestly didn't think you would come by. How about, when I get home, I reverse the whole thing and we just forget about it? Then you can come in whenever you want."
"Yes, I think I would like that... thank you." Charlie seemed satiated with this. But that meant Lucifer would have to go into full cleaning mode (at least in the rooms Charlie would visit) the moment he got home. He would have to draft Lysander and Syn to help out. (Sure, Lysander was security and not a maid, and Syn had no arms- but none of that mattered. What mattered was not letting Charlie see that her father was falling apart without her or her mother around).
"Great! But there will be a slight raincheck on that." Lucifer sucked the air in through his teeth. "Just a quick one."
"Dad." Charlie looked entirely unimpressed, and Lucifer didn't blame her. He knew how it looked but unfortunately, this whole Adam fiasco had to take some priority. (The visions and the glitching on the Infernal Eye had Lucifer believing there might be more at play than just a concussion.)
"I know Charlie. I swear I'm not just stalling for time." Honestly, he wished that was what he was doing. Stalling would be far more enjoyable than what was awaiting him. "I have to look into this and to do that I have to go on a quick trip. I shouldn't be gone more than a few hours, and as soon as I get back, I promise I'll fix the door so you can go to the house. You have my word."
"It's two in the morning, dad!" Charlie looked even more distressed, which was exactly the opposite of what Lucifer was hoping to accomplish. "Where the fuck do you need to go right now?"
"Just going to do some quick research. I know it's late but everything in Hell stays open till basically it gets burned down, soooo..." He watched Charlie's expression trying to see if he was winning her over.
"What the fuck ever." Charlie sighed, "Just fix the door."
"Will do Char-Char! As soon as I get back!" He hated how defeated Charlie sounded. But unfortunately, this was about her too. If something was amiss with Hell, it could threaten Charlie and she was the only thing in this God forsaken cesspit that was worth protecting. Lucifer could risk anything, except Charlie. So as much as he hated seeing her upset, her safety was more important. "Now Cain," He looked over at the other Overlord who had gotten distracted on his phone in the brief time Lucifer and Charlie had been talking. Lucifer snapped his fingers. "Cain, pay fucking attention."
"What?" Cain looked annoyed. "I slapped him, I dunno what else you want me to do. I've exhausted all my ideas."
"That one braincell is really doing overtime tonight, huh buddy." Lucifer mused. Charlie gave him a look and his smile quickly faded.
"Dad, be nice!"
"Okay, wow. You fucking ditched my ass and now you're just insulting me?" Cain glowered at him. "I am going through a lot right now. My dad is an unfinished coloring page and is completely passed out and until ten minutes ago I thought he was gone forever so excuse me if I'm not on my A-game right now."
"You're right Cain, sorry." Lucifer needed Cain to be cooperative, so perhaps it wasn't for the best that he insult him right now. "I'm tired, it's been a day for me too. But I need you to do me a huge favor." Lucifer used magic to summon bandages. He carefully covered the wound on Adam's head. "I need you to hold on to your dad until I get back. It shouldn't be long. I should be back before sunrise."
"Woah wait a second-" Cain started to protest but Lucifer got to his feet, lifting Adam with him, and shoving him into Cain's arms.
"Cain, this is really important." Lucifer let go of Adam and his body flopped on the floor like a rag doll. He glared at Cain who held his hands up.
"Don't look at me. I said to wait a second." Cain retorted.
"Cain, come on dude." Lucifer hissed.
"Oh, excuse me for having some emotional hang ups about taking the unconscious body of my dead dad- who may I remind you, murdered so, so many Sinners just like me- to my fucking house for a few hours."
"It's only going to be a few hours!" Lucifer insisted.
"What if he wakes up!?" Cain gestured to the ground where Adam still lay completely unresponsive.
"He's not going to wake up." Lucifer nudged Adam with his foot to prove a point. Adam continued to remain unmoving.
"But what if he does? What if he tries to kill me!? Or worse: talk to me! I'm not ready to have a conversation with him!"
"He's not going to wake up."
"But what if-"
"He's not."
"I'll fucking take him!" Charlie's outburst startled both Cain and Lucifer.
"Honeycrisp, no." Lucifer quickly shut that down. "It's too dangerous, what if he wakes up?"
"Are you fucking shitting me right now?" Cain was giving him a look of disbelief. Lucifer cleared his throat.
"I mean... he probably won't, but Cain, that's my daughter, man. I have to be more careful. You understand that."
"What so I'm expendable!?" Cain looked completely betrayed.
"No. No. I never said that! You're my best friend. You know that." That much was true and hopefully Cain could see the honesty in Lucifer's expression. He snaked an arm around Cain, tightening his grip a bit. "That's why I trusted you to handle this."
"I can handle looking after an unconscious body, dad." Charlie was clearly tired, and Lucifer and Cain arguing on her front lawn was probably not helping. This was also probably a bad place to be having this conversation, given Lucifer had no idea how many ears were listening in. It was best to end it quickly.
"Fine. Fine. We'll take him inside." Lucifer looked over at Cain, then back to Adam on the ground. "Are you really not going to pick him up?"
"You dropped him." Cain held his hands up again.
"Whatever." Lucifer knelt down and lifted Adam up again, he quickly looked him over to make sure he hadn't been injured any further when Cain had dropped him. It didn't look like it. "Let's go inside." He walked behind Charlie and Vaggie into the hotel, making sure Cain followed. "Charlie, where is the room that's the most isolated from all the others? I want him far away from the other Sinners."
"Well, no one is home right now, but I really don't have anyone staying on the topmost floors. I have way more rooms than Sinners right now." Charlie seemed less frustrated now, and more just tired.
"We'll leave him there." Lucifer followed Charlie up to the top floor, picking a room far to the side. He placed Adam on the bed before closing all the blinds and locking the windows. "I want the door to stay shut. No matter what, okay?"
"Got it." Vaggie seemed far from happy about the situation. Lucifer couldn't blame her given her history with the Sinner in question.
"Vaggie, keep an eye on Charlie, and keep her away from him. Cain will watch the door." Lucifer didn't want to subject the Fallen Exorcist to any more than he had to. This worked out for him too as it would keep Charlie far away from Adam. Whatever was going on with him, he couldn't risk it affecting his daughter. Vaggie would keep her safe, Lucifer trusted that. (He knew an angelic nature when he saw one. Fallen or not, Vaggie was a protector. Charlie was in safe hands.)
"Wait, I thought the whole reason he was staying here at the hotel is so that I didn't have to have anything to do with him." Cain protested.
"It's a fucking door Cain. I think you can handle that. You don't have to deal with him directly. If you hear him wake up, you can call me, and I'll come right back. Okay?" That seemed fair enough in Lucifer's book. Cain seemed to consider it for a moment, looking back at Charlie before finally nodding.
"Okay fine." Cain sighed. "But you better be back quick because this is a fucking lot." He folded his arms over his chest. Lucifer felt relief washing over him. This part had finally been solved.
"Cain," He patted him on the back, "thank you." He hoped the Overlord could pick up on the genuine gratitude he was feeling.
"Yeah okay, whatever." Cain didn't sound annoyed this time, maybe a bit embarrassed at having been thanked. Lucifer walked over to Charlie giving her a big hug, holding her close as if assuring himself that she was okay.
"Call me if you need anything, okay? I'm so sorry to run off like this, but when I come back, I should have some answers."
"Okay dad." Charlie smiled, just a small one, but it still brought the Devil so much joy. He turned to Vaggie.
"Keep her safe no matter what."
"I always do." Vaggie squeezed Charlie's hand.
"Dad, stop. I'm fine. I don't need protection." Charlie shook her head. Lucifer looked up at her earnestly.
"I'm your dad, I'm always going to try and keep you safe."
"I..." her expression softened more, "go do whatever it is you need to do and come right back okay? It's really late."
"I will, I promise." Lucifer assured her.
"And I expect answers when you get back."
"Of course, Char-Char! I'm off!" Lucifer gave her a thumbs up as he went toward the front door. He paused, thinking better of it. "Actually, this way." He went down a floor and walked into one of the unused hotel rooms facing the back of the hotel. He opened the window, turning himself into a small parakeet (a duck might be too predictable) "Now I'm off."
"Be safe dad." Charlie gave his feathery head a small pat with her hand.
"I will!" And with that, he took to the skies. Before he got too far, he turned back around, watching as Charlie gave him one last wave before closing the window behind him. Hopefully this errand wouldn't keep him long. He didn't really love the idea of leaving his daughter in such an uncertain situation. But sometimes he had to put a little faith in Charlie. After all, with Adam out cold, there wasn't much that could happen.
So, Lucifer began to fly upward, toward the glowing white rings above Hell that gazed judgmentally down upon it, upon all his past mistakes. Despite how close it looked Heaven was actually quite far, and not easy to reach. Lucifer had a direct route, he let Charlie use it for her meeting, and had Heaven been his actual destination, he would have taken it too. But it wasn't.
There was more to the sky than Heaven. Lucifer flew toward the glowing white mass, though it drew no closer. Eventually he reached a point where the sky stopped, a force prevented him from moving any further, and Heaven still looked no closer than it was on the ground. (Almost as if it were mocking those below, being close but never close enough to reach.) Lucifer had to change back to his normal form, pressing his gloves to the solid sky, feeling along the invisible wall until he found what he was looking for, a small indentation, just large for his palm to fit perfectly over it. He used his magic to activate the door, and he felt the solid wall give way. Nothing changed, visibly, but he could feel the entrance. So, he flew through the door and vanished completely.
In a matter of seconds Hell was gone. The smell of Brimstone just a distant memory, replaced with the fresh smell of running water in clean, untamed nature. The dark brooding skies with Heaven's ominous light, replaced with clear blue, no Heaven or Hell in sight. Looking behind him, the door home had already been sealed shut. All that was around him was nature. Beautiful, large trees lining a clear running river.
And here he was, the realm between Heaven and Hell. Unless someone had a direct route between the two (and very few did, only those of the highest rank) this was how you had to travel. And this place was not easy to navigate. It was massive, this river was one of thousands- if not millions that snaked through a constantly shifting countryside. Unless you knew the route through, you would be lost in here for eternity and that was not a good thing. This world was made to be transient. It was not meant to house souls long term and bad things happened to those that overstayed their welcome.
Being the devil, of course, Lucifer would be fine so long as he wasn't here for more than fifty or so years- so he wasn't particularly concerned. But he still didn't like being here. He knew the way through, but that didn't make the endless maze of rivers any less daunting as he flew on the path he knew to be correct. The sooner he got to civilization, the better.
He hadn't been here in years. There was rarely any need for him to actually visit (though he and his family had taken one or two vacations out this way.) He really hoped he still remembered the way. It should be like flying or riding a bicycle, you never forget. (Not that Lucifer had really ridden a bicycle, but he had heard Sinners talk about it.)
He soared over the trees, watching as more rivers branched and merged and changed their paths. He took a turn to the right; he didn't see much movement below aside from the water itself. Which made sense, there wasn't much life here, this was a Way Station of sorts, a place that connected every realm in existence: Heaven, Hell, the Living Realm, and... others. Each had their own path, their own exit and it was important to get off at the right stop because, believe it or not, there was worse out there than Hell.
Another turn, then another, and another, Lucifer was starting to become concerned that he had forgotten the way through. That was until he saw something glistening over the horizon. The trees became more sparse, the rivers widened, and he could see glistening multicolored buildings rising in the distance as he drew closer.
The only real city in the vast expanse.
He passed under a rather cute and cheery sign that read: Welcome to Port Gatory. The pun was new, but he had a solid idea of who had put it up. There were very few locals when it came to this realm, so the options were incredibly limited.
Purgatory.
Limbo.
This bustling port city had hundreds of names throughout the years. But for Lucifer it was simply the closest he was willing to get to Heaven in order to find the answers he needed. Every soul typically passed through Purgatory, though they never remembered their stay upon arriving at their final destination. Falling was a bit different, admittedly, but if there was a chance Adam had passed through, someone here would have had to have seen him.
Lucifer landed, he saw the massive influx of new souls, popping into existence looking confused as they started to wander through a brightly colored town by the seaside. There were so many buildings, little shops and things to occupy the souls while they were processed to where they needed to go. Lucifer wanted to avoid any humans, especially those destined to end up in Hell, so he landed on the roof of one of the shops before turning into a bird again and flying down the chimney and changing back. This particular shop seemed to be selling little figurines. Lucifer was never really sure why Purgatory bothered having this whole set up, as the items you bought typically vanished once you crossed over to your final destination.
"Welcome to Port Gatory!" Lucifer was greeted by the shop keeper. She looked like a completely normal, non-descriptive human woman. (They were really leaning into this new name thing, huh?) "Please browse my wares and let me know if I can be of assistance. Do you need the boat times?"
"It's Lucifer. I need information."
"Welcome Lucifer! What sort of information can I assist you with today? Do you need the boat times?" her smile never faded, and why would it? She wasn't real. Most of the staff in Purgatory were automated due to the fact that the nature of this domain made long term stay nearly impossible for anyone save for the strongest Hellborns and Angels. Sinners were absolutely not allowed in this place; Purgatory was a one-way river. (He was never clear on the rules with Winners, but he assumed it was a similar set up.) But that also made dealing with most of Purgatory a fucking nightmare. He needed to talk to the one in charge.
"I must speak with Death, it's urgent." Lucifer brought himself to his full height, putting his hand on the counter for extra emphasis. The storekeeper didn't react.
"My apologies, Lucifer, Death is currently away on business. Would you like to leave a message? There is also the option to set up an appointment if that is your preference."
"Well tell her it's important. I don't have time to wait." Lucifer drummed his fingers on the glass. "And I am not setting up an appointment, I don't even go to the ones set with me."
"My apologies, Lucifer, Death is currently away on business. Would you like to leave a message? There is also the option to set up an appointment if that is your preference."
The same fucking spiel. Such was the endless annoyance of dealing with any of the automated staff. Syn was more advanced than this and she was only a few years old. Sure, they had arms they could hold objects but could they hold a conversation? They could not. "No. I just want to talk to someone else."
"Who would you like to speak with? I can direct you to the last known locations of any of Port Gatory's wonderful staff. While you explore, may I offer you a travel guide to all our best sights?"
"No. No guides, just answers." So, Death was away, that was annoying. This was her domain. Still, she wasn't the only one who dealt with souls. "Where is Jezebel?" It was a long shot, but there was a Hellborn who had been tasked with ferrying the Souls from Purgatory to Hell. She had been handpicked right after the Fall, not a particularly powerful Hellborn- but Purgatory was neutral ground. Heaven and Hell must have equal representation.
"Jezebel was last seen at the ice cream shop enjoying a wonderful, refreshing ice-cream sundae, courtesy of our friends here in Port Gatory! Would you like a map to the shop and a menu?"
"No. I know where it is." Lucifer sighed.
"I hope I was able to answer all your questions today! If you need any further assistance, please just ask me or one of our other wonderful employees here in Port Gatory. Do you need the boat times?"
"No. I do not need the boat times. I... I'm Lucifer. I told you that. I don't have to take the boats. Lucifer. The devil." Was he not registering with them? Was that why the shopkeeper wouldn't contact Death?
"Okay Lucifer. The Devil. I hope you have a great rest of your stay! Please browse my wares and let me know if I can be of any assistance. Do you need the boat times?"
Lucifer threw his hands up. "I am fine. Thanks." If he wanted to spend hours talking in circles to basically no one, he would have prayed. He left the shop, walking through the busy streets of the newly dead (or those in between life and death) as he made his way to the ice cream shop in question. It was a cute little place, brightly colored umbrellas over round tables outside a brightly painted store. He saw exactly who he needed, sitting outside at one of the tables with an absolutely massive ice cream sundae that looked to almost be more toppings than actual ice cream. She was in her human disguise, which made sense, they were surrounded by human souls. "Jezebel?"
"Wow just come out the gate with the ins- oh shit, King-dude." Jezebel blinked, her (currently) brown eyes widened, she pushed her long silky black hair over her shoulder, wiping her captain's uniform in an attempt to clean it quickly. "What an unexpected surprise."
"I am surprised to see you... here." He looked at the ice cream. She followed his gaze.
"What? I was fucking hungry. I'm allowed to eat."
"Yeah, but shouldn't you be, you know, on the boat?" Lucifer raised an eyebrow. Jezebel was the captain of the Hell-Liner: the ship that took souls from Purgatory to Hell. It was a beautiful, luxurious ship that looked ten times as lavish as the Heaven-Ferry. Jezebel seemed to give up on straightening out her Captain's jacket and went back to her ice cream.
"It's automated now."
"They automated the Hell-Liner?" Lucifer blinked a bit in disbelief.
"Yep. Also maybe don't call it that where the souls can hear you? I don't need them jumping off and getting trapped here forever." She took a big bite from her ice cream. "I am surprised you didn't know cause Hell and Heaven signed off on it like forever ago. I'm just here in case shit goes awry."
"Oh..." had he signed off on that? There was so much fucking paperwork when it came to Purgatory, he mostly just put it to the side and hoped it wasn't too important. (Which was seemingly biting him in the ass currently.) He didn't remember if he had agreed to this, or simply ignored it so long his silence was presumed to be consent. Or, depending on how long ago this had started, Lillith might have been the one to give the go ahead. But she had never taken interest in Purgatory's affairs before now, so that seemed unlikely at best. This was most likely a direct result of Lucifer's negligence.
"That all you gotta say? Oh?" She didn't sound pleased with his response (or lack thereof). "Cause let me tell you, without the boat to drive around, this place is fucking duuuuullll." She shoved another spoonful of mostly sprinkles in her mouth.
"Also, without the boats being officially manned I worry more souls than ever may not be reaching their destination." The voice behind Lucifer made him cringe a bit. He had been hoping to avoid any and all contact with one of the Halos up top. But just as Jezebel served as Hell's Captain, Jazeerael served as Heaven's. He was a low-ranking angel, not a Winner. But far from a Seraphim. "I have written up my concerns in a very concise report for Heaven. If you need a copy-"
"Thank you but no thank you." Lucifer had no desire to talk to an angel any longer than completely necessary. "I'm sure Heaven will respond in two to five hundred business years." He turned back to Jezebel. "So, you have no idea if a certain soul came through here or not, do you?"
"Depends, which soul?" Jezebel gave a shrug. "And what's it worth to you?"
"Lucifer is on our list of approved beings." Jazeerael took the seat beside Jezebel, much to Lucifer's dismay. He too was in a human form, wavy red hair half hidden under a hat, green eyes with thick glasses, a face full of freckles, wearing a similar, though far less elegant, version of the captain's uniform Jezebel wore. "You shouldn't try to charge him for information."
"Don't ruin this for me, nerd." Jezebel took her spoon. Scooping it full of ice-cream before shoving it in Jazeerael's mouth when he opened it to protest. He started coughing immediately. "What soul are you looking for."
"We ah-k-" Jazeerael couldn't seem to get a word out through his coughing. "O-one s-sec-" He tried to talk.
"You are really on the struggle bus right now, aren't you?" Jezebel patted him lightly on the back. "I believe in you."
"I w-was t-talking when you d-did that. I in-inhaled like f-forty sprinkles."
"It was more like ten." Jezebel smirked. "Also, you don't need to breathe, dumbass, you're not alive."
"It still surprised me." Instantly his speech returned to normal. Lucifer had to wonder if Jazeerael had become so accustomed to playing human he had forgotten what he truly was. Purgatory could do that. Make you forget everything about yourself until you became just a wandering shell, repeating the same phrases over and over again like one of the automated employees. (And those were the lucky ones. Far worse could happen to a soul who wandered too far.) Though Jazeerael and Jezebel had been picked for these roles and thus were both in possession of an item that made them immune to Purgatory's long-term effects. "And I have to make things look real, you never know if any of the souls are watching us. Speaking of: you aren't using a human form, King Morningstar, may I recommend changing?"
"I'm not taking orders from a fucking angel." Lucifer gave him a deadpan stare. "Plus, I'm only here to ask a few questions, then I'm leaving."
"Ooooohooo, You are in some kinda mood today, aren't ya Kingy?" Jezebel gathered another big scoop of ice cream on her spoon. "Here, maybe you're just hungry. Or maybe you're just a bitch, I dunno it's been so long since I've seen you."
"It really has been a long time since someone from either side has visited. So, I have a list of things I've noticed that really should be run by-" Jazeerael pulled out an electronic tablet from his coat.
"You." Lucifer pointed to Jazeerael. "Take that shit up with Heaven. I'm not your fucking boss. And you," he looked at Jezebel. "I do actually want some of that ice cream, thank you." He materialized his own spoon and it took a massive scoop from Jezebel's sundae and flew back to him. It was actually pretty good. He took a deep breath. Well, he had them both here, might as well ask. "Did you guys see Adam come through here?"
"Do you know how fucking many people named Adam come through here on ay given day? There's probably like, I dunno, a hundred Adam's here right now." Jezebel snorted. Jazeerael looked at his tablet for a second.
"One hundred and thirty-two to be accurate."
"Adam," Lucifer sighed. "The original man? The guy in Eden?" Jezebel and Jazeerael exchanged an uncertain look. "He probably flew overhead once a year with an army of Exorcists?"
"Bro," Jezebel put a hand on Lucifer's shoulder. "I see you speaking at me but nothing coming out of your mouth makes any sense. What the fuck are Exorcists? And also, Adam died like... forever ago? His processing was already done. I think he went up? I don't really know but I guess you could ask-" Lucifer knew where this was going, and he already knew his answer.
"No. Look, Adam came to Hell once a year with an army of angels to do a bunch of murdering Sinners. He probably had to fly over Purgatory, right? Like you can't move an entire army directly between Heaven and Hell. But anyway, we killed him, and he broke a contract, so he technically Fell- capital F. So, I thought, maybe, just maybe, he had to be reprocessed through Purgatory." Again, the two exchanged uncertain looks. Both of them looked completely baffled.
"What the actual fuck are you talking about!?" She turned to Jazeerael and started to hit him with the spoon. "You're murdering our people you god damn bastard!? I am gonna fucking spoon you to death, bird boy!"
"I didn't do anything!" Jazeerael covered his head. Lucifer supposed he should be thankful Jezebel was only using a spoon as a weapon, but really, he was more confused than anything else. "I have no idea what he's talking about! You know I don't go upstairs except to drop off reports!"
"Neither of you knew about this?" Lucifer didn't interfere in the assault. It wasn't his place to break up a fight. "I forget how isolated you both are."
"Well yeah," Jezebel finally gave up on attacking Jazeerael. "No oner ever tells us shit. Apparently, I missed a whole ass genocide."
"I swear I knew nothing about it." Jazeerael peeked out from under his arms. Lucifer didn't particularly trust angels, but he was inclined to believe Jazeerael on this. Purgatory was incredibly cut off from the other planes and he was such a low-ranking angel there was no way he would have known, (According to Charlie, a lot of Heaven was in the dark about what was happening, anyways.)
"He probably didn't." Lucifer conceded that much. "So don't kill him. Heaven is already pissed enough at us because we killed Adam."
"Sounds like he deserved it though." Jezebel retorted.
"Oh, he definitely did." Lucifer assured her.
"Adam: The First Man, originally processed for Heaven. Current destination: Hell... huh..."
Jazeerael was looking at his tablet again, squinting. "It doesn't look like he passed through again, though that could be because he Fell. That has very little to do with us. And it really doesn't happen a lot so I'm not entirely sure about the protocol."
"Awesome. So, this was a fucking waste then." Lucifer rolled his eyes. "So glad I came out here."
"I'm glad you did. At least now we know about these Exterminations. I feel like that is incredibly important information." Jazeerael replied.
"Look, you guys have been doing this job for like... a while, right?" Lucifer knew Death was away, and these two were probably his best bet for not returning entirely empty handed. He wasn't going to have abandoned Charlie with Adam for nothing. They looked at each other, then at him.
"Yes sir." Jazeerael was so polite it was almost unnerving.
"Yeah fucker, pretty much since the first humans died. We're almost as old as your ancient ass." Jezebel leaned back in her chair. "Why?"
"Have either of you ever seen a human soul arrive and be... unconscious?" Might as well ask. "I mean like..." Lucifer trailed off for a moment as he tried to find the right word. "Completely catatonic."
"No?" They answered in unison. Jazeerael started looking at his tablet again, swiping very quickly at the screen as if looking for something.
"There have been no records of a catatonic soul. A little dizziness or disorientation is considered normal, but nothing more severe has ever been documented. At least not here."
"Yeah, that sounds fucking weird, dude." Jezebel finally finished her ice cream, looking vaguely disappointed it was gone. She looked over at Lucifer before covering her mouth. "Ah fuck- did I get ice cream on your suit?" Lucifer blinked, looking down at himself. "Am I gonna die for this?"
"What? No. Why would I kill you for..." There was a small stain on his lapel, but it was black, it almost looked more like a burn than a stain. Lucifer rubbed at it with his gloved thumb before realizing that same burned looking stain was on his index finger- it was just much harder to see on the black glove fabric. "What the...?"
Adam.
The realization hit him like a bucket of cold water. Adam's blood. He had gotten it on his glove, wiped it on his lapel... but Adam's blood was gold. He distinctly remembered the color. But now it was...
Fuck.
Lucifer ripped off his gloves revealing the blackened clawed hands underneath. He tore his jacket off too, burning the items in unholy fire. Jazeerael and Jezebel both jumped back at his sudden movements. "What are you doing?" Jazeerael sounded quite concerned as they watched Lucifer's white tailcoat as it was devoured by the flames, reduced to smolders that Lucifer gathered in a small jar.
"Are you having some kind of senior moment?" Jezebel just seemed more alarmed than anything else. "Cause what the actual hell?"
"And can you not use magic like that in front of the human souls? It makes them anxious." Jazeerael added as an afterthought.
"I need to go to the Archives." Lucifer ignored them both. "Right now. Am I understood?" The severity in his tone must have shaken them because both of the residents of Purgatory nodded.
"Yes sir. This way." Shockingly, it was Jazeerael who took the lead. The Archives were a unique gathering of scrolls and research from both Heaven and Hell that only covered the most important topics. It was like a library, but only for the top Elite. Lucifer and his family were about the only ones who qualified for such knowledge in Hell, and he would be damned sure Heaven would hear about it when he did access any of their research. So, it was for the best he move fast. There was also the horrible realization dawning upon him that Charlie was alone with Adam and if what he thought might be happening was true- she was in grave danger.
He needed to get home.
He burst into the Archive, going right for the scrolls he knew he would need. They were old- ancient even. He remembered them from when he still lived upstairs. These predated his Fall and should in theory be obsolete.
"You have to sign those out..." Jazeerael watched him for a moment before intervening. Lucifer looked at him in silence, but his expression must have screamed every threat in his mind because Jazeerael held up both of his hands. "I'm not saying you can't use them; we just need a signature! It's not my rule! It's Uriel's."
Uriel, of fucking course. One of the Big Four- the Archangels. This whole Archive probably belonged to her. Hoarding all the knowledge to herself. "I'll sign whatever you want, just give me the fucking scrolls."
"Ooooooo, you got him big mad, Jayce." Jezebel had followed them inside, observing Jazeerael as he scrambled to pull up the paperwork. Her reaction wasn't surprising. The two had always acted more like siblings than coworkers. Despite their age, they constantly bickered like children.
"I'm just following protocol." Jazeerael looked rather nervous as he fumbled with a long sheet of ancient-looking paper. "Here, just sign this..." Lucifer took the pen, signing under the most recent name on file. "Here's your copy." Jazeerael rested the paper in between some of the scrolls in his hand. "Those are due back in two weeks please do try and remember."
"Yeah yeah-" Lucifer cut off as he heard his phone in his pocket. He shifted the scrolls to one arm as he saw Charlie's name. "Char-Char! Hey crabapple, you're um... you're not near him, right?"
"Dad!" Charlie sounded stressed. Lucifer's heart sank. "He's um... he's awake. But he's... He's really not himself."
"I'm on my way. Stay away from him." Lucifer was already halfway out of the door. "I will be home very soon."
"Dad I-"
"I'm dead serious Charlie, don't let anyone near him. Is he talking?"
"N-no. He hasn't said any words. How close are you."
"Very." Lucifer put all his energy into his flight as he took off across the bright blue sky of Purgatory back toward the entrance to Hell. "You just have to hang on a little longer. Where are you?"
"Downstairs."
"And he's still upstairs?"
"Yeah..." Relief washed over him, at least she wasn't close by. "Do you know what's going on yet? Where are you?"
"I am almost home; I didn't get as much as I wanted, but I have a solid idea of where to start." He didn't want to be right- not about this (and for the sin of Pride who loved to be right about things, that was rare). He also didn't want to explain the whole situation to Charlie in case he was wrong. She didn't need to worry about things that were settled long ago.
"None of those are answers." Charlie sounded even more upset.
"I was in Port Gato- I mean, Purgatory." Damn it, now they had Lucifer making that stupid pun. "Just picking up a few things. But as for what's happening, I still don't have a solid answer, Apple bloom." He was absolutely speeding toward the exit as fast as he could go.
"Purgatory? That place we used to vacation when I was little? How is that supposed to help?"
"It really didn't, not as much as I wanted." Lucifer had reached the wall and pressed his hand to the hidden panel. He felt the door shift open and he darted through. "I'm almost home. Stay on the line."
"Okay dad."
Hell was back in an instant, the sour odor and stagnant heat hit him in a putrid burst. Normally he'd complain- but his brain was only focused on getting to the hotel. He quickly used his magic to send the scrolls directly to his house- no need to explain those to Charlie. Not yet. His six wings were almost buzzing with how quickly they moved, his horns were out again, his tail lying flat to increase his aerodynamics. He could see the bright and cheery hotel sign in the distance, and he made a dive toward the door. "I can see the hotel."
"I can open the door for you." The door swung open, and Lucifer swooped through, seeing Charlie and Vaggie downstairs with the other Sinners, most of whom were still dressed nicely. Charlie blinked seeing him in all his blazing glory, as she simply hung up the phone. "Dad you're back!"
"Where is he. Did he touch you? Cut you? Bite you? Did you get blood on you? Any of you?" He grabbed Charlie by her arms looking her up and down. She did seem fine.
"No, Alastor and Cain have been the only ones close to him." Lucifer felt that icy feeling hit him again. Alastor.
Fuck.
He really should have specified that Alastor in particular should be nowhere near Adam. Then again, so much was happening all at once he didn't think about it.
"I am going to deal with this. Stay down here, keep the others safe, okay?" He pulled Charlie down so he could kiss her forehead. "I will be right back."
"Hurry." She gave him a small hug. "I do want an explanation though. You're not off the hook."
"I will, once I have one." He let her go and carefully ventured up the stairs. The door to the room he had left Adam in was closed, he could see Alastor's magic seeping out from under the door. Lucifer's stomach churned as he knocked on the door. "It's Lucifer. Let me in."
The door swung open, and he saw Alastor and Cain standing back on opposite sides of the room, Adam was in the middle, his arms strung up with the dark tentacles of Alastor's magic, his legs trapped in the solid stone of Cain's. "Not a moment too fucking soon." Cain was focused, clearly trying to keep Adam in place. Adam himself looked... feral... his eyes were wild, his teeth were bared like some sort of rabid animal. (Though Lucifer could only see teeth on the white side of Adam's body, on the silhouetted side his mouth glowed too brightly to see if he had teeth or not.) Golden blood was dripping out of his mouth. Lucifer noticed something new, as well. It looked like Adam still had his wings. He hadn't seen them before- but now they were flared out, the white one caught in stone. The black one still beating about freely.
"Has he said anything?" Lucifer made eye contact with Adam. The golden pupil in the black eye was blazing like a golden fire, the white eye seemed to have a strange shine to it. As Lucifer moved, he could tell Adam was watching him.
"Mostly just Aaaarg, if I'm being honest here. But historically speaking, the man has never been much for conversation." Good to know Alastor found this whole thing fucking funny.
"Did he get blood on either of you? Or bite you or something?" Lucifer looked between the two Overlords.
"Nah, we got him strung up pretty quick. Good thing boombox over here was close by cause he is a slippery sunnovabitch."
"Radio."
"Who's a ho?" Cain looked over for a moment, but Adam let out an almost other worldly sounding shriek that made Lucifer and Cain stumble back for a second. That in and of itself was almost confirmation enough for Lucifer.
"Fuck." Lucifer held his head for a moment before he finally started to make a move toward Adam. "If either of you let him go right now, I will kill both of you on principle. Then I will bring you back. Then I will kill you both again." He hated having to put his faith in anyone- but he assumed Alastor wasn't stupid enough to let Adam go when it would be entirely obvious to everyone who was at fault if Lucifer got attacked. And Lucifer knew that he could take Adam down himself if it came to that. Still, he would like to avoid the hassle so hopefully Alastor and Cain kept him held.
"That seems unfair."
"I think it sounds perfectly fair." .
Adam shrieked again and this time some of the rocks at his feet looked as if they were beginning to crumble. Lucifer had to move quickly. He summoned up an apple, it was the first thing he thought of; it didn't matter what it was, exactly, so long as it was made with his strongest magic. "You're not going to like this, Adam." Lucifer stepped closer. Adam was watching him like a predator, he snarled as Lucifer drew close. "None of that, stop." Adam made an attempt to bite him, wrestling with all his might against his restraints.
"He's really making it hard to hold him." Cain's voice sounded strained. The black wing was beating hard, Adam was tugging violently against the rocks and tentacles of shadow. He screamed again as Lucifer got too close. Flecks of that golden blood splattered on his vest. Great now he was going to have to burn that too.
"Don't do that." Lucifer had to move quickly, he grabbed Adam by the hair. Strands of black and white interlaced in Lucifer's claws. Adam tried again to bite him, but Lucifer jerked his head back by the hair. "No. You don't bite me." He held the apple in his other hand. "You bite this." He held the apple to Adam's mouth. Adam snarled at him again, trying to struggle free. "Come on fucker, you know you want to scream again." Lucifer had no idea if Adam could even understand him at this point. Adam craned his head at an unnatural angle, trying to get to Lucifer's hand around the apple. As he attempted to take a bite out of Lucifer's fingers, the devil was able to shove the apple in his mouth. (He had almost gotten Lucifer's index finger, he had not expected Adam's head to bend that way.) Adam's teeth sliced through the apple as if it were butter. Lucifer quickly dropped what was left and used his other hand to hold Adam's mouth shut. Adam was fighting against him, trying to spit out what he had accidentally bitten. "What's wrong dickhead? Bite off more than you can chew?" Adam was desperately trying to spit out the fruit, but Lucifer had his jaw shut tight.
"Is an apple really going to fix this?" Cain seemed uncertain about Lucifer's methods as Adam thrashed violently, trying to dislodge Lucifer from his head.
"Give it a second." Lucifer forced his head up and he watched as Adam, despite his best efforts to the contrary, swallowed the bite he had taken. "You are not going to like what happens next." Lucifer released Adam's head and took several steps back. "Keep him held but keep your distance."
"Oh look at that, we're getting a show!"
"Is he gonna like, explode or something? Was it poisoned?"
"Why would poison make someone explode?" Lucifer had to turn to look back at Cain. Adam let out another scream, but it got cut off, becoming garbled. "Come on, just do it." Lucifer kept his distance as Adam's thrashing became worse, almost more like seizing. His head jerked backward, then forward and Adam started to vomit up a viscous black liquid onto Charlie's nice clean floor. Lucifer would really need to apologize to his daughter later.
"Oh fucking gross." Cain recoiled away.
"Didn't you bash your brother's head in with a rock? Is this really too much for you?"
"Abel had it coming, and he also didn't puke everywhere."
"Don't touch it, this whole room needs to be burned." Lucifer kept them both back. Adam was still heaving his guts out on the ground, making quite the mess. Finally, it started to slow down, until Adam was just coughing and gasping, head limp on his shoulders. "Adam?" Lucifer kept his voice calm. "Adam, can you hear me?"
Adam made a coughing sound again, slowly, he lifted his head, squinting at Lucifer before him. "...M..." he looked disoriented, "Mic-"
"It's me, dumbass." Lucifer cut him off.
"...Luciael...?"
"He's disoriented." Lucifer explained quickly before Alastor or Cain could make a comment. "Give it time..."
"...wait..." Adam's black and gold eye flickered for a moment before finally glowing steadily. "Where the fuck am I!?" He reeled back only to realize he was trapped. He looked at Lucifer, his expression changing to anger. "The fuck do you want, you baked-bean shaped sack of dicks?"
Lucifer put his face in his hand. "I already miss you being catatonic."
MADE IT ON TIME TONIGHT! AH YEAH! Bit of a long one! But I hope you enjoyed getting to see a new location! And we have Adam back to his truly awful self! Is that a win? Lucifer is starting to think it isn't.