Erica lay in her little room, staring up at the ceiling. She hadn't gotten any visitors other than Lucy Oriell. She couldn't stop thinking about her last visit, where she had confessed everything to the kind-hearted Lucy. She had listened intently, and hadn't been nearly as repulsed or angry as Erica had expected. Actually, she probably had, but she was much too kind to show the full extent of it. It was probably a good thing she had visited, since anyone else wouldn't have been nearly as kind. But now she was going to tell everyone else about the vile, malicious things Erica had done and let Margery take the blame for. Erica was glad she couldn't see their reactions, knowing the things they'd call her and how disgusted they'd be. She was almost relieved that she was going to be sent away from St Clare's. At least she wouldn't have to face them again.

But Erica knew she deserved their scorn. She'd never be popular, like Lucy was. Lucy was everything Erica wasn't. Kind, bright, pretty, popular. Erica couldn't prevent the flash of jealousy she felt, and not just because of that. Even Erica couldn't help liking Lucy despite the slight envy she felt, which was part of why she had confided in her. She was open-minded and forgiving, too. She even made friends with that sulky, bad-tempered Margery Fenworthy. Erica kept thinking why Lucy should ignore her if she was friendly with that awful Margery. It was part of the reason she had let Margery take the blame. Now she realized how selfish and stupid she had been. She and Margery were both in the first form while Erica wasn't, so it was only natural that Lucy should pay more attention to her. But her envy prevented her from seeing clearly.

The last thing Erica expected was a visitor, so she was shocked when she received one. She thought it was Lucy again, and sat up excitedly. She wasn't exactly disappointed, but more surprised when she realized it was Kathleen Gregory from the first form. She stared blankly at Erica without smiling, but she wasn't scowling or glaring like Erica had expected.

"K… Kathleen?" Erica stammered.

"Erica," Kathleen said, holding something up. Erica realized it was a bar of chocolate. "How are you feeling?"

Erica was so shocked to receive another visitor, she wasn't sure what to say. "I… I'm fine," she choked out, accepting the chocolate. "I… I thought you were Lucy."

"You did?" Kathleen asked. "Oh, yes. I heard about how she visited you."

Erica stared worriedly at Kathleen. She didn't look happy with her, but she wasn't nearly as scornful as she had expected. "Did… did she tell you everything?"

"Yes, she did," Kathleen admitted. "We all know what you did."

"Well, that's… that's good," Erica managed to say. "At least you don't blame Margery anymore. She doesn't deserve that, after the brave thing she did."

Kathleen stared at Erica in surprise, clearly unable to believe she could say something like that. Erica supposed she couldn't blame her. "You're right," she agreed. "But we already didn't blame Margery, after what she did. We thought somebody who could do something so brave couldn't do such spiteful things. I don't know why none of us suspected you. It's just the sort of thing you'd do."

Erica flushed, but she supposed Kathleen was right. She was relieved that she didn't seem too angry at her, so she ventured to ask. "They aren't happy with me, are they?"

"No, not in the slightest," Kathleen admitted. "In fact, they're all furious with you. I won't tell you the things she said. But you shouldn't be too surprised, should you?"

"No, I shouldn't," Erica agreed, still not sure why Kathleen was speaking so evenly with her. "I know Pat and Isabel in particular must be. After all I did to Pat, and Isabel is her twin! I just know they'll never forgive me." Kathleen looked hesitant for some reason. "But don't worry. I won't be staying for long. I know I'm going to be leaving St Clare's."

"I was surprised when Lucy told us that," Kathleen admitted. "I heard Margery was sent away from her previous schools as well. That's part of why we suspected her."

"And now she's definitely staying, while I'm going to leave." Erica laughed bitterly. "It's almost funny, in a way. But I won't be sent away in disgrace, at least."

"It must still be an awful thing," Kathleen remarked. "You must be terribly ashamed."

"Not that much," Erica said. "Oh, I am ashamed. But it's almost a relief. It's probably the best, not just for all of you, but for me as well. I just know that if I stayed, I'd be hated by everyone. I wouldn't have a single friend, right up until I graduated. It'd be as much of a punishment for me as for everyone else."

"I never thought about it that way," Kathleen admitted, surprised. "I suppose it is for the best that you're leaving. But I know how upset I was when I thought I was going to be sent away."

"What?" Erica stared at Kathleen in shock. "You were?"

Kathleen hesitated. "Just last term, I was almost sent away from St Clare's as well," she admitted. "It was only because of Pat and Isabel that I stayed on."

"What?" Erica's eyes widened. "What did you do?" She couldn't help the slight bit of relief that she felt, and then immediately felt guilty for it. But she couldn't help being relieved to know that somebody else had once been in her position.

"I suppose I might as well tell you, since everyone in my form knows aside from the new girls," Kathleen admitted. "I was… well, stealing."

"Stealing?" Erica exclaimed.

Kathleen nodded. "I stole money from the other girls. Any shillings or quarters I could find lying around. From Pat, and Hilary, and Belinda. I'd take them, and I'd buy things."

Erica gaped at Kathleen in shock. She always seemed so kind and generous. She never would've thought her as a thief.

"Why would you do such a thing?" Erica demanded. She wasn't scolding in the slightest, but only confused. "Were you really that greedy?"

Kathleen noticed the confused tone in Erica's voice. "No, I wasn't," she assured. "I didn't keep anything I bought. I gave them away to everyone else. I bought chrysanthemums for Vera, and a lovely cake for the midnight feast…" She trailed off, staring pointedly at Erica. Erica glanced away, remembering the midnight feast she had sneaked on. "I didn't even get to taste the cake, but I loved seeing everyone enjoy it. And enjoying everything else I bought them, too. I never had much pocket money, you see, so it was nice being able to share things with others. I thought if I could, they'd like me more and want to be my friend."

"Oh," Erica muttered, feeling a sense of disappointment that she also felt ashamed with herself for. "I suppose that's why you weren't sent away." Even the one girl who had almost been sent away as well hadn't been nearly as beastly as her.

"Yes, but I might have if it wasn't for the twins," Kathleen insisted. "I was close friends with them when they first arrived. I told them everything, and they convinced Miss Theobald to give them another chance, even though I had stolen from them."

"But you didn't do it out of greed," Erica reminded. "Or spite, like me. You were just trying to be generous."

"Perhaps not," Kathleen admitted. "But part of why I did it was just as bad. I was too proud to admit that I didn't have much money. I wanted to make friends, and I thought they wouldn't like me if I couldn't buy the best things or give them anything. If I had asked, they probably would've been more than happy to share with me. But I had too much pride."

Erica glanced away, remembering how Tessie had told her something similar after she had stolen one of her chocolates. And that was only out of greed. "But now you have lots of friends, don't you?" Erica asked bitterly. "Everyone likes you." Erica couldn't prevent the familiar envy from rising. "And they would. You only stole to help them. I did everything for myself."

"Did you really just do it out of spite?" Kathleen asked. "I can't believe you could be as beastly as all that."

Erica stared at Kathleen, but she didn't seem to be scolding her. She looked almost as confused as Erica had been.

"Well, no," Erica admitted, supposing she might tell Kathleen after what the other girl had revealed. It felt nice getting it off her chest to somebody else. "I did like the feeling it gave me, to see others get into trouble and spoil their things…"

"Oh, I remember now," Kathleen interrupted. "You did it to get back at Pat, didn't you? That's why you played those tricks on her. You were still sore with her for punishing you over the whole business with the feast."

"Yes, that's right," Erica agreed. "I was so angry and desperate for revenge. I thought it served her right. And I suppose I was jealous, too. The twins seemed so popular."

"They weren't popular when they first came here," Kathleen added. "We called them the stuck up twins, because of how they acted. They kept going on about how they wouldn't be pushed around or told what to do. They wouldn't even do the jobs for the top formers at first."

"Really?" Erica asked in surprise. She remembered how she used to refuse to do the jobs as well, only to thoroughly regret it. "I never would've guessed. It's only a term later, and they seem so at home in the school now."

"I guess that's what St Clare's does," Kathleen said. "In fact, I was one of the only people who gave the twins the time of day at first, and they were the ones who convinced Miss Theobald to give me another chance."

Erica couldn't prevent another flash of envy. "I was surprised when they didn't suspect me," she admitted. "But I was relieved when they blamed Margery instead."

"I can't believe you would let anyone else take the blame," Kathleen scolded, sounding scornful for the first time. Erica supposed that was only expected. "If somebody else was accused of being the thief, I would've been more than eager to own up."

"I told you, I'm not like you," Erica insisted. "I did feel a little uncomfortable when I heard how Margery had been expelled before. I was happy to let her take the blame before, but I told myself I wouldn't play any more tricks after that. And that was when the fire happened…"

"Well, at least you have some good in you," Kathleen remarked. "But I would've thought, since Margery wasn't liked much more than you, that you wouldn't have any reason to want her to be miserable."

"I didn't, not really," Erica admitted. "In fact, she was one of the only people who gave me the time of day after the whole incident with the feast. But I suppose I was jealous of her as well."

"Why would you be?" Kathleen demanded. "She wasn't popular in the slightest."

Erica hesitated, but she supposed it didn't really matter if she told Kathleen, since she was going to be leaving anyway. "She wasn't, but Lucy liked her. I didn't know why she should waste time with her and not me. I supposed I wanted to be her friend, too." Kathleen stared at Erica, and she quickly went on. "I see now what an idiot I was, but at the time, I was too blinded by my envy. That was why I ruined Tessie's feast, too. She was popular as well. I figured it wouldn't matter if they had tricks played on them. Things were already so good for them, and not for me, so I thought it was only right…"

Erica trailed off as Kathleen stared at her. There was an almost contemplative, understanding expression on her face. She realized how much she had confided in Kathleen, even more than Lucy. It was a relief getting it all off her chest, to somebody else who might understand even just a little.

"Tell the others if you want. It won't matter, since I'm going to be leaving soon." Erica voiced her thoughts. "It's a good thing, after what a little beast I was. To do all of that out of spite and envy…"

"I was jealous, too," Kathleen admitted. Erica stared at her in surprise. "Seeing how much money and nice things the other girls had, and hearing them talk about their wonderful parents who gave them anything they asked for. I only had a mean old aunt who barely sent me any pocket money." She hesitated, looking ashamed. "I… I suppose I was a little glad to take their money, at first. I mean, I thought they had more than enough already, and I didn't have any, so it was only right… I even considered spending some on myself." She lowered her head in shame. "Even when I bought things for others, it wasn't entirely for them. It was for me as well. I wanted them to like me, as much as I wanted to make them happy."

Erica was surprised that somebody else could have anything like the spiteful feelings she had, even if they weren't nearly as strong as hers. "But you had much better intentions than me," she assured. "You never did anything as awful as me. And I imagine nobody else at this school ever has."

"I wouldn't go that far," Kathleen assured. "I'm sure many other girls have done far worse than you. And even if they haven't, there are some girls who probably will in the future."

"I suppose so," Erica agreed, pleased that at least one girl other than Lucy didn't despise her.

Erica felt a little better when Kathleen left. She had thought spite was the worst flaw to have, but now she realized other sins could be just as deadly. It was easy for them to take over and bring out the worst in girls. Erica only hoped none of them would do anything like what she had after she left St Clare's.

I got the idea after writing a few one shots titled after sins, and figured I might as well start a multichapter with the theme. This seemed like a good introduction, since Erica is the first real antagonist in the series. The next chapters will probably only explore one sin connected to a character, but there are four discussed here: greed, envy, pride and wrath (one version of wrath is desire for revenge). The one I struggle most to think of ideas for is greed (even the two thieves Kathleen and Eileen aren't greedy, as discussed here). Not too femslash-y yet (unless you want to interpret Erica's liking of Lucy as romantic, though it could go either way), but it will be in the future. Most will be femslash, but not all. There's already a lack of St Clare's content. Next will probably be Wrath, with Janet and Carlotta.