All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.
Chapter 4
"It's been a while since we last attended a tribal bonfire." My father comments on the drive to La Push Beach.
I nod absentmindedly, my eyes watching the forest flying past us. It's been a couple of days since I've last seen the wolves. I've remained at home since then to give them the space they needed to settle Paul into a new relatively-normal rhythm. From hearing from the pack's past struggles after their first transitions, I was aware of how overwhelming it could be at first. Now that they were older and much wiser, I was confident they'd be able to patiently teach Paul with a kind understanding, I'm sure, they would've loved to have experienced themselves.
And because Jacob and Embry were in town this time around, they'd willingly taken on the responsibility. They always felt guilty for how much added work their pack mates took on without their daily presence here, and so they were more than willing to give them a well-earned break whenever possible. In a way I was glad Paul happened to shift while we were in town, that way Jacob and Embry were here to guide him on this difficult journey. Though it was also worth it to consider whether Paul would have ever shifted at all if we hadn't come down for spring break and stupidly planned that hiking expedition.
Before my dad parks I can already hear the raucous noise of everyone already present. I laugh watching a few of the guys waiting for us to arrive.
My door swings wide open, followed by multiple sets of hands and voices arguing over who had been there first. Somehow they manage to get me out of my dad's truck safely and I'm soon passed around, as per usual.
It never got old.
"Finally you're here! This party was getting really boring without you." Quil informs me after pulling me out of Embry's arms.
I laugh and leave the greeting committee with Quil, hearing my dad being greeted a bit less enthusiastically than I just had.
We walk through the sand and closer to the bonfire already laid out, immediately identifying the tribe elders, all five sitting around the campfire with plates of food already in their hands. Jared runs past us and to his mate, slinging his arm over her shoulder and whispering something into her ear that makes her giggle like a schoolgirl.
Those too were always so disgusting.
Paul sat further to the side, away from everyone, hypnotically staring into the fire while absentmindedly taking a sip of his beer.
Poor guy, he still looked so tragically lost.
And then an excited little squeal disrupts the calm as Kaden yells "Antee Bewa!" for the whole world to hear.
I squat down to the ground and open my arms wide.
"Hey Kiddo!" I greet just as excitedly.
When little Kaden rushes into my arms I grab his face and plant kisses all over his face, ending it with a loud smooch that makes him giggle happily. I pick him up and carry him as we walk closer.
"He's always so excited to see you." Quil chuckles from beside us, watching us warmly.
I laugh and nod, turning to Kaden. "Just as excited as I am to see you too, huh, Kiddo?" I add, playfully pinching his nose.
He pulls away while scrunching his cute little button nose at me, whining my name in displeasure.
It makes me giggle and I set him down again. "Can't forget to say 'Hi' to my dad too."
He smiles and nods, moving his little legs as fast as he can to reach my dad.
I move on to greet the Elders knowing them from so long ago. Mr. and Mrs. Clearwater, Leah and Seth's parents greet me with a warm smile. We haven't seen each other in a long while and so I do the customary vague catch up before I move on to the next one, Joshua Uley. He is Sam's father, who I don't know all that well, and so our greeting remains short and sweet. Our only connection to each other was Sam. Mr. Uley tended to be a solitary man, the only time he commingled with others was when it was pack or tribe related.
Tiffany, Embry's mom, greets me next with a bright smile and a tight hug. "One of my beautiful little girls is home. Everytime I see you I just can't believe how absolutely gorgeous you are."
I purse my lips and smile, my cheeks pinking at her compliments.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now but after all these years I still haven't. She was my mother figure besides Renee, I loved her dearly. She always treated me as one of her own, and even though her house was one giant chaotic mess while all of us kids ran through her house in an endless line, she never once complained. If anything she delighted in having all of us around.
"Ugh, you always make me blush." I say patting my cheeks in the hopes I can stop them from flaming, but probably only making it worse.
She laughs lightly, patting my cheek lovingly. "I love those pink cheeks of yours, my girl. Now tell me how my boys are doing. Are they being proper gentlemen and cleaning up after themselves?"
"Yes, though I think their cooking is lacking. Sometimes they forget to feed me." I tease with a pout.
Both Jacob and Embry yell, "She's lying!" at the same time. Rushing their mom and trying to convince her I'm only trying to cause trouble.
Which I am.
I giggle to myself and squeeze in between them, beaming when I see Billy shaking his head at me while also looking wholly amused. I squat down to his level and pull him into a giant hug.
"Always causing havoc, little tornado."
I laugh, pulling away but remaining on his level to maintain eye contact as I hold his hand in mine. "Someone's gotta keep those pups in line."
We both chuckle when we hear two equally disgruntled growls from behind me.
I ignore them just as always.
"I'm sure you do." He says with a smile. "Will you return with the boys for Rachel and Rebecca's annual visit?"
"That's the plan."
"Thank the spirits." He says dramatically, pinching his eyes closed and raising his face to the skies. "I'm going to need all the help I can get to keep the peace with those two terrors Becca has created."
I laugh at his doomed expression. "Aw, Billy, those two kids are a riot."
"You only say that because they're troublemakers just like you."
"And I did not at all teach them to replace the sugar with salt the last time they were here."
Jacob and Embry snort from behind me, remembering how many times I've done that growing up. Over time I've made both Billy and Tiffany paranoid when opening their pot of sugar, usually dipping a finger to taste it first before pouring it into their coffee in the mornings. As soon as Becca's kids got old enough I taught them to continue on with my legacy. Becca found it rather amusing while I'm pretty sure her husband absolutely loathed me by this point.
"Please don't teach them anything new on this visit." He begs.
I laugh and shrug my shoulders, "Can't make any promises." I sing-song, standing up and moving away before he can catch me.
Elder Ateara sits in his own wheelchair, looking on at our interaction with affection. I move to his side and squat down the same way I did with Billy. Except this time I just hold his gathered hands and lift them up to press them against my forehead, remembering the traditional custom since we were children.
"Elder Ateara," I start, speaking to him in a respectful manner. "It is so lovely to see you, as always."
The old man chuckles in amusement. "And while Billy gets the tornado, I am gifted with the angel. I have missed you so, my dearest, come give this old man an angelic hug."
I giggle and throw myself at him. Remembering how welcoming Elder Ataera has always been to me. I didn't have any biological grandparents growing up. Charlie's parents died before I was born and my mom rarely spoke to hers and therefore were practically nonexistent in my life. Elder Ateara was the closest thing to a grandfather I would ever have.
"Always looking as young and spry as ever." I compliment.
He throws his head slightly back and a rough, raspy chuckle comes out of him. "I know you lie, dearest, but thank you for the ever present compliments. They are always welcome from you."
"Now you know I never lie, my dearest elder." I tease back, remembering how we would playfully banter on my visits to him with Quil and the guys. "I only speak the truth when it comes to you."
Both Billy and my Dad cough roughly at that.
"And my father and Billy, of course." I correct quickly, which gets another raspy laugh out of Elder Ateara.
"Sly fix." He chuckles. "Now go feed yourself, dear, you're looking way too thin since the last time I laid eyes on you." He slightly orders, but there's a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that lets me know he'd heard my claim to Tiffany earlier and is now adding fuel to the fire.
Almost simultaneously I hear echoing grunts coming from Jake and Emb when Tiffany overhears Elder Ateara's comment.
We both trade gleeful looks and I giggle as I practically dance away from the scene of the crime.
Halfway to the food I stop by to place a kiss on Sam's cheek as he sits with Emily on the giant blanket they'd brought along. I don't get a chance to say more than a quick hello to Emily before Mr. Kaden grabs me by the hand and starts tugging me toward the food tables where Kim and Jared are still standing by.
They turn at our approach, but I don't even get a word out before Kaden starts ordering me around.
"Antee Bewa!" He yells, grabbing onto my hand and pulling me closer to the table. "Food!"
Jared snorts and Kim giggles, covering her mouth with her free hand as they both watch Kaden's serious expression, as if by not moving fast enough to eat something I'll wither away right before his eyes.
From across the tables Emily's shaking her head at her bossy son. I smile and throw a wink at her, dutifully following little man's order.
Kaden talks my ear off telling me about god knows what, all while 'suggesting' I get his favorite foods. I comply easily. Kaden and I have an eerily similar taste in foods.
And yes. I am aware I eat more like a toddler than the rightful adult that I am. We both weren't big fans of meats, though I do crave it every once in a while but it's not often.
"Are you vegetarian?" A rough voice suddenly speaks from beside me.
Startled, I jump a little in place. "Shi–zzz!" I yell, correcting myself at the last second so I won't cuss in front of Kaden. "Make a noise next time." I complain, earning a lopsided smile from Paul.
"New fwend!" Kaden exclaims happily, jumping up and down.
"Hey, little man!" Paul exclaims too, catching Kaden in the air and lifting him easily into his arms. "Did you eat?"
"Yup." He answers with a firm nod. "Momma ga- me food."
"That's good. Are you helping Auntie Bella get her own food then?" He asks with a smile on his face. I swear Kaden was the only one to pry a genuine smile out of Paul, not that I could blame him. Kaden's bright and adorable smile could thaw out any cold stone heart.
"Yup." Kaden says again. "We s-posed to feed ow women."
I cover my mouth over a giggle. Seriously this kid is gonna give me cavities with how sweet he is.
Paul nods in the affirmative. "That is very true. Did Daddy teach you that?"
"Yup!" Kaden nods again. "Daddy smawt."
"He sure is." I agree, "You should keep listening to Daddy because he gives the best advice."
Kaden then wiggles out of Paul's arms and comes to me again, pulling me along the side of the table completely done with sharing my attention.
I throw Paul a quick smile before I avert my eyes to the little general who guides me away from Paul, eventually guiding me to sit near his mom. As if that isn't enough he then proceeds to try to feed me like he said his Dad does to his mom sometimes. Thankfully Emily convinces him not to and he begrudgingly concedes, allowing me to eat on my own. Still, Kaden takes the seat next to me watching me attentively to make sure I finish my plate, not allowing a single crumb to go to waste.
Lord help his future wife, he's already as bossy as the rest of the guys.
When it's finally time for the elders to finally speak, Emily pulls Kaden to her side and orders him to be respectfully quiet.
Jacob takes the opportunity to snatch me away, guiding me to the chairs surrounding the fire pit where the elders are already seated.
"Everytime Kaden is around I'm forced to share you." He quietly pouts.
"Sharing me for a week won't kill you." I laugh.
"Still not fair. I feel betrayed."
"You should be. We're already planning to run away together as soon as he turns eighteen so I can become the wife of the son of Sam Ulley, alpha of the Quileute pack."
He throws his head back and laughs.
So do a few of the others, but it all dies down with a sharp look from Elder Aetera. Even I sit up straighter, giving my full attention to where it belongs.
It's a privilege to hear the legends of our tribe, not just once, but many times over through the years. Not many people have had the privilege of hearing them at all. But me, a pale face, has managed to hear them more times than I could possibly count. It was a true honor, one I never took for granted. I might not be Quileute but my heart was, it always has been.
Elder Ateara calls for Paul to move closer, giving him the best seat in the house since this whole event is to welcome him into the fold.
He obliges dutifully, taking the seat almost directly in front of Elder Ateara. His eyes are sharp and attentive, his body rigid, an uneasiness to his overall demeanor that lets me know he's trying to hide his discomfort. It's barely noticeable, and maybe I'm the only one who does, but I feel for him once again in that very moment. Wishing I could push even an ounce of comfort into him so that he knows he's not alone.
No one makes a single sound as Elder Ateara begins retelling our legends. Even little Athena doesn't dare utter a single peep, as if knowing what is currently happening is so sacred that she's not even willing to disrupt it with her cries.
I listen quietly. Absorbing every legend, every story as if it were the first time. It never got old. I could listen to them every single night of my life and never tire.
When Elder Ateara finishes he allows Paul to start asking questions.
He hesitates for a long moment, as if unwilling to speak his thoughts to every one present. But he acknowledges this is the time to get all of the answers he seeks and gives in.
"Why do I feel so out of control all the time? If the wolf spirit chose me because of my lineage, why does it feel as though–?"
"You're at war?" Elder Ateara finishes for him.
Paul nods, looking so very much like he wished he could claw at his skin.
Elder Ateara watches Paul carefully, as though he can see what I have and is trying to find the right words to help.
"The wolf within you chose to be a part of you, that is true. He needs you for his survival, a sort of vessel to bring forth his power… but without each other, neither of you would survive on your own any longer. You are still two minds trying to become one, it's there, but if you don't accept him being a part of you then the bond will never establish. You are fighting him." He says, his eyes roving over Paul's form again. "All he wants you to do is accept him and give each other the chance to learn your souls."
Paul hesitates, his eyes looking down at his hands now as if not recognizing them himself. "He's… foreign to me. I don't know how to…" He drifts off as if not knowing how to finish, like he's so confused as to what to ask, let alone what to do.
"I can only guess how difficult this must be for you." Elder Ateara responds, his forehead crinkling even more with worry. "We've never had a person shift at a later age, not since the first of your kind over a century ago. Those who shift into wolf form do so as teenagers. It's easier to accept your wolf when you are younger, still not set in your ways and unaware of who you truly are. For you it is different. You are a full grown man already living a life you have chosen for yourself. And now you have been tied to these lands by force. That is the reason why you are so unwilling to accept your wolf."
Paul lifts his eyes to the Elder, slight defiance in his expression. "What if I refuse to accept it?"
"You can't." The Elder answers swiftly. "It is impossible, just as impossible as refusing an imprint if the time ever comes. You will only make this journey harder for yourself. There is no out once you've shifted. Just ask the rest of your brothers." He says, his fierce eyes looking at all of the wolves now.
They all nod in deference but a few of them quickly look down right after, as if fully understanding Paul's point of view and feeling sorry for him and themselves. They all know he'll have to give up the fight just as they have.
"Rely on them." He continues. "They have experienced the same emotions you are currently feeling. It is not uncommon to want to deny your fate, but as I've said before. There is no other way. The only thing you have the power to alter is your willingness to accept it. Being chosen to protect our tribe and people is a privilege. You should see it as a gift rather than a curse. An honor the majority of us will never achieve in our lifetime."
Paul nods, looking almost resigned, but by his expression I know he's still at war. "Imprinting" He finally states after some time. His eyes looking angry now, defiant. "Will we all imprint?"
I instantly feel Jacob tensing from beside me, his jaw making a grinding noise at Paul's question as if just bringing that topic up angers him too.
"Not every wolf is gifted with that kind of bond."
"Gifted." Paul repeats in disgust, offended by the word.
"It is a gift, young wolf. An imprint is the destined soulmate of a wolf. It is believed that the spirits choose the best fitting partner to the wolf who will help pass on the strongest of genes to the following generations. Of course that's the answer the legends have led us to conclude but it's all a mere interpretation on our part. The imprint itself has been proven to be true, however. Emily and Kim are clear examples of that."
My eyes drift over to the couples mentioned. I immediately see how perfect they fit together. How they all look at each other with absolute love and devotion in their eyes. It must be nice to know that your partner will love and be there for you forever. Even if it's magic that makes them feel that way. And– Ohhhhh, now I understand why the guys hated that.
It wasn't natural.
It was forced, inorganic. Nothing you willed onto yourself. Nothing you chose.
I turn to look at Jacob and he does the same. His eyes pained, as if this particular fate out of all the ones already imposed on him, is the worst one.
We rarely talk about this topic. Most of the wolves try to avoid bringing it up unless they add their bitter comments about it every once in a while. Jacob in particular avoided the topic like the plague. As if by just saying the word, it would call it forth and he'd be enslaved to a love he didn't choose. He couldn't avoid the topic forever, though. One day he would have to come to grips with it. It was a possibility in his life and therefore there was no escaping it if it did. Just like Elder Ateara had said.
I might not understand completely but I dreaded Jacob finding his imprint before he'd come to accept even the idea of it. It would only cause him more pain and heartache. A torture I would not wish upon anyone, especially him.
He could just be so stubborn sometimes…
Paul moves away from the sore topic, seeming to repel just the thought of it. His face giving a definitive defiance that lets everyone know it wouldn't happen to him.
I can only hope it doesn't… at least not any time soon. He already had to deal with the wolf thing and adding one more uncontrollable thing on top of that, just might be the thing to break him.
I dreaded the thought.
Paul voices a few more trivial questions, less poignant than the first ones. There's a mix of anger, a strong sense of will dipped with a conscious resignation, if it were even possible.
It's clear he's still struggling.
I wish he wouldn't be. Elder Ateara is right, he always was. Paul was only making this harder for himself by fighting it. It might not seem fair to him but this was his new reality. At the end of the day, all the wolves needed to come together as a pack, completely in sync in preparation to fight the enemy. If they weren't, it could mean death to anyone. If there was no cohesion between the pack they were vulnerable to attacks, a chink in their armor that vampires could easily crack open.
I could only hope Paul would come to that realization soon and accept his fate for the greater good. He couldn't be the weakest link of the pack, not just for himself but for everyone else too. It wasn't fair to the rest.
I throw one last concerned look his way before Jacob pulls me away from everyone once the meeting is officially over.
He grabs my hand as we walk along the shore, intertwining our fingers together as he looks out into the water. His gaze is thoughtful, slightly distant while still fully aware I'm currently watching him.
"You want to know about the imprinting." He says aloud as we walk along the shore.
"Yes." I agree. "You've never wanted to talk about it before. I know I don't have to ask how you feel about it. Even if you've never said it explicitly I know you dread it. But I'd like to hear your thoughts on it now."
His jaw ticks, remaining quiet as he continues to look at a sight far away from us. He's trying to avoid my eyes, he knows I will be able to see the truth in them and he's trying to let me in but can't seem to be able to.
"If you don't want to share your–"
"I fucking loath just the thought of it." He finally admits outright. He stops walking, his face and body turning to face me completely. "It feels like it's just one more thing this curse wants to take away from me. It took my freedom already, my ability to leave these lands. And now it wants to take my right to pick who I want to love. It's not fucking fair."
Woah. I mean I knew he didn't like it but I didn't think he would hate it this much… or be so angry about it either.
"Jacob," I start tentatively "I know I'm not a wolf and I can't possibly understand the pressure and responsibility you must feel but… Imprinting sounds like the biggest upside of it all. I mean, there's someone out there who is perfect for you. Someone who will love you unconditionally and irrevocably. I couldn't possibly imagine anything better."
"But I'm not free to choose, Bella. That's my point." He voices fiercely, his other hand coming to grasp my other, both of our hands now intertwined in between us. He tugs me closer, looking down at me trying to meld our brains together in order for me to grasp what he means. "Someday you will leave this town… leave me behind. You'll find a man who will sweep you off your feet and you'll have the freedom to either choose or deny him as you please. It's not that there's only one guy out there for you who the spirits have chosen for you to make special babies with. It's totally different."
It breaks my heart to hear the pain in that admission, the anger behind it. Not mad at me exactly but at the situation. The fact that he can no longer do the things we'd planned to do growing up. That I will still be able to go and do what I want but he will be tied to these lands forever.
A part of me wants to promise him I'll stay too, that if he's tied to these lands then so am I.
But I can't.
Because he's right.
There is nothing tying me down. Yes the pack is my family and I'll miss them every single day I'm away, but there's nothing here physically forcing me to stay. Jacob might hate imprinting now but when it happens he won't have a say in that either. Not that he'll be able to reject those feelings anyway. Jared and Sam have both said that once they laid eyes on their imprints they were utterly devoted. An all-consuming love that took them over heart, mind, body, and spirit.
I let go of one of his hands, cupping the side of his face and gently caressing the stubble on his jaw. "Even when I leave we won't lose each other Jacob. I could never leave you guys forever. You'll always be my family wherever I go."
His shoulders sag and he immediately plops down onto a broken log I hadn't even noticed was there. Pulling me with him and tucking me in between his legs.
We stay quiet for a long time, both staring out towards the open water.
This is our place. The shore. It's where we've always gone when we just wanted time away from everyone.
Jacob and I were the closest of everyone. He wasn't exactly my brother, I never viewed him that way. I mean we had sex all the time so it would be weird if I did.
We were just… something else, never defined.
Not that we needed to be defined. Jacob and I just… were. And I hated that even after all these years I hadn't known he still felt so strongly opposed to being a wolf.
"Paul hasn't accepted his wolf." I say out of the blue, not really knowing how to enter this part of the conversation.
"No." He agrees, his arms tightening around my front. "It's almost like he's trying to reject it but he knows it's impossible."
"Did you ever try?" I ask quietly.
"No." He answers again. "Honestly the thought never even crossed my mind. I just accepted it and moved on. I understood there was no other alternative. Over time I've come to accept the fact that it's my destiny and my duty to protect my tribe from danger… and it's not like I don't want to do those things. I want to keep our people safe. I have the power to do just that, and now I've come to view it as a way for the world to bring balance. We have to exist in order to keep them in line. To stop vampires from taking over everything and leaving the fate of the world in their hands. They only come to destroy. To eat their fill and dispose of the bodies as if they meant nothing. And if I can save our people from that fate, I will." He says fiercely. His voice filled with certainty, assurance. No question as to where his loyalties lie. When he talks again though, his voice is softer, sadder. "But if I had my own way I would have never chosen this life for myself."
"Do you think it's a curse?"
He doesn't answer for a long moment, lost in thought while trying to find the right words to express his beliefs on the matter. "The elders tell us it's a gift… but it doesn't feel that way at all. It feels like a curse tying me down and forcing me to bend to its will. I'm not normal, Bella, I'll never be normal. I turn into a giant wolf, I eat like one too. My skin is super hot and I could literally crush your bones if I'm not careful. I can run fast, I can smell every particle in the air, and I'm strong enough to kill a vampire. But none of those extra abilities mean anything to me. Not when what I want the most is to be normal, to be able to leave these lands if I one day chose to."
"After graduation next year… you'll have to come back." I say softly.
"Yes." He whispers. "I'll have to."
I suddenly feel so guilty. He sounded so depressed at just the thought of it. It suddenly occurs to me that maybe he would have been better off not experiencing even a smidgen of freedom because it would only be stripped away from him eventually.
Too soon, it seems.
Maybe I shouldn't have convinced him nor Embry to come with me from the start. I should have just gone off to college somewhere far. It will only hurt them more when I leave. It'll be like rubbing it in their faces when I do.
As if hearing the whirlwind of thoughts in my head, he slides his finger along my jaw, cupping my face and turning me to look at him. "Don't do that. I know you're suddenly feeling guilty for convincing Embry and I to go to college with you. That soon I'll have to come back and you'll be gone and I'll feel the loss even more. Yes it'll be hard but we'll still be thankful that we did it. If it weren't for you we would've never gotten the opportunity to leave town at all. Even if it was only 100 miles away, even that much seems like a miracle to me. All the sacrifices I've had to make to be there with you have all been worth it. Being there makes me feel just a little bit less trapped."
"But you'll have to come back. Won't that be worse after you've had a taste of freedom?"
Jacob lifts me up from my waist, turning me to straddle me over his lap. "I don't think so. I mean I can't be sure but if anything in this world feels like a gift, it's this. Being around you, experience college just as we'd planned, pretending to be free even if it's only for a short time. I'll have to come back here soon but no one will ever be able to take those memories away from me. I'll have them always. If anything I'll be thankful I experienced more than what the majority of my other brothers and sister have. It's a gift I don't take for granted. If it weren't for you I'd have been trapped here since the beginning. It might be a temporary freedom but it happened when I needed it the most. If I would have stayed here and you left right after high school, I don't think I would have coped as easily as I will now that I'm older. The idea of not seeing you everyday like I do now kills me… but at least I know you'll be happy. And after all the happiness you've brought me, us. It's the least you deserve."
"Jacob." I whisper, my hands sliding around his neck. I've never felt closer to him than this very moment. He's never told me this much before, not all at once, and not about something this deep.
His eyes soften even more when I feel my eyes starting to water. He grabs my waist and squeezes. "I've never told you before… maybe I should have… or maybe I shouldn't say it at all, I don't really know, but" He starts, his eyes solely focused on my own, as if we are the only two beings left on this earth. "It's because of you that I work so hard at everything. You make me try harder, and not just in school but with being a wolf too. I want to be there to protect those who have their own version of Bella's out there that mean just as much as you do to me."
My lip trembles at his words, my eyes welling with unshed tears. "Shit, Jacob, you can't say shit like that to me." I cry with a watery chuckle. "You know I love you too, right? You have no idea how much you've helped me too. I might not transform into a wolf and save the world like you do, but you've helped me too. You're all my family. The people I needed the most growing up. The family who helped guide me into the person I've become. It's all thanks to you guys." I say softly, grasping onto his face in between my hands.
His eyes well up too but he blinks them away. "Thank you for being my Bella." He says sincerely.
"And thank you for being my Jacob." I reply, placing my forehead against his.
It's not enough though and he pulls me closer, his lips covering my trembling ones. He swipes his tongue gently on the seam of my lips asking for entrance.
A shiver runs through me once I let him in, fully receiving the warmth that is Jacob. I feel the cold breeze coming from the beach but it pales in comparison to the heat Jacob radiates, so soothing… so comforting.
His tongue dances along with mine, tilting his head to the side to go in deeper. His left hand slides to my back, starting a slow trajectory to my behind until he reaches it and squeezes, pulling me against his now protruding erection.
I gasp and pull away, closing my eyes as I tilt my head back.
Jacob slowly trails kisses down my neck, making me shiver at the warm wetness of his tongue.
"You know if I had the freedom to fall in love with anyone." He softly whispers against my skin, his breathing slightly spiking. "I think it would be you."
I freeze in his arms, my hands tightening on his shoulders as I lift my head to face him again. "Jacob…" I whisper.
"I know." He says softly. "It's impossible. I know that. It's just… sometimes I picture a life where I'm not a shape-shifting wolf and… you're always there. The only constant in my life. No matter what scenario I come up with… you're always there."
I drop my forehead against his again and smile. "Maybe in another life, huh?"
He chuckles against me. "Yes, but unfortunately not in this one."
"This me is very annoying and incredibly short-tempered." I state, teasing him to erase the wistfulness in his expression. "I think you actually lucked out on this one."
"I think you're right," He chuckles out "but at least I still get to fuck you every once in a while."
I throw my head back and laugh, climbing off of him because having sex out here where the rest of the wolves could overhear or see, is completely out of the question.
"Come on." I tell him, tugging on his hand to follow after me. "Let's stop before the pack comes looking for us and catches us in a very compromising position."
"Which I wouldn't mind by the way." He argues, though he does get up to follow.
I roll my eyes, "Of course you wouldn't."