This chapter starts on 8th January, 2024.

There is some discussion of what happened to people due to men in their past in this chapter - but nothing explicit.

Over the next couple of days, Lizzy would drop by unannounced. Sometimes she'd stay for a few minutes, sometimes longer. It was Lizzy's way of helping G become more comfortable with her presence. And soon they were having almost two-sided conversations.

G told Lizzy a bit, a very little bit about how she ended up in Meryton. "My husband is a terrible man. I collected money for a while and left him in Blackpool. I ended up at Longbourn with two pounds in my pocket."

Lizzy smiled, happy that things had worked out this way. Remembering that she had let it slip about a brother Lizzy asked, "G, is there anyone you might want to contact from your life before your husband – a relative, or a friend?"

G stiffened but said nothing. She knew that if this kept up, if perhaps she did get free, she should contact Wills. But how could she after everything they had said after their last meeting? It had been terrible. They had descended into a shouting match the likes of which they'd never had before. And then she'd eloped with Wickham. After Lizzy left, she found herself inadvertently thinking about Wills and found her own anxieties swirling around her mind. She decided to use the journal Maria had given her.

10 January 2024

I told someone a little bit of my story tonight. Lizzy, she is amazing, and the Bennet sisters make me feel safe. I can barely remember what this felt like. In the decade between mom and dad's death, Wills had been like that. He'd been supportive and I was never concerned that his love was conditional on me making certain decisions or behaving a certain way. But now it remains only a hazy memory. I miss him. Fr all his faults he was a good brother at least for those 10 years.

The Wickham incident revealed a different side of him. When I told him who I'd chosen to marry he was so filled with rage as I'd never seen him before. I said some terrible things like the fact that his damned pride and conceit would always stand in the way of his happiness and that's why he couldn't be happy for me and Wickham. He tried to use family honour as another reason and that probably set me off more because I was so tired of trying to be perfect all the time, especially after dad died. I blamed him and said that he refused to agree who I wanted to marry because Wickham's family wasn't old money like ours. I refused to listen to him when he pleaded with me that Wickham was a gambler and a player. He probably thought those were Wickham's two worst qualities, I'm sure he never believed that Wickham would stoop to violence in the way that he did. I went so far as to tell him that he was jealous of me and my happiness, that he wasn't the person I would depend on anymore, and that losing that place in my life he no longer had any purpose in his life. I even said he didn't have any one in his life except Richard and Charles. I didn't like being treated like a child and so I rebelled even more than I normally would and married Wickham the day after I turned 18. I haven't spoken to any of them in 4 years. I know Richard tried after I left, sending me messages until Wickham sold my phone for money. How can I just go back to that life? As if nothing happened, when in truth so much has happened. I'll never be that girl, and I will never be able to live up to family honour in the way that Wills does. What would be the point of going back? Maybe it's time to build a new life here in Meryton, at least for as long as I can. I can hope that Wickham never finds me. But for how long? Will this always be my life? Worrying about someone finding me out?

Lizzy wasn't able to meet at the centre for a couple of days having taken on yet another speaking engagement. But she did think of G. She knew that the time would come when G might need protection from her husband. So, Lizzy started the paperwork for a protection order, in the hope that G would choose to file one against this man who was still legally her husband. Lizzy also knew that this girl likely had family after her slip about a brother. She hoped that it'd be easy to find him and convince him to help G. Sometimes having a family member as a witness to a person's journey in their second chance can be quite helpful. Though that would also have to be a choice. Not knowing the circumstances of G's estrangement with her family, she hoped that would be the case here.

When she eventually walked into the centre a couple of days later, with G 's new contract in hand she had the opportunity to observe her a bit better. It seemed, G was settling in. The other residents already deferred to her as caretaker, and she was generally good at the residential side of things. Lizzy started a conversation asking her about her plans for the community centre side and if she had any programs she wanted to introduce. G said she had ideas, self-defence classes, pottery, book club maybe.

As a week passed by, in her downtime G wondered about the fact that Wickham hadn't yet found her, and would he be able to find her at all? She'd gone to a place she knew no one rather than London. He'd expect her to go to Wills, but by subverting those expectations maybe she'd now be safer.

…

It was at that moment Wickham was thinking about her too. She'd been gone for a few weeks and he thought she'd be back by now. That she wasn't, angered him deeply. He knew that she must be with Darcy. Where else would the helpless girl go but to her brother? He called Will Darcy.

Wickham's phone call had thrown Will Darcy's whole life out of balance. Will hadn't heard from them in years and now suddenly he got a call that his assistant said was from the Wickhams. Even though she had deeply disappointed him he was delighted by any chance to learn about his sister. He'd listened to the tirade of his former friend for a few minutes and what he'd been able to learn hadn't been good. Georgiana had left him, vanished into thin air and he wanted her back, saying, "I will win this time, I will win at whatever cost, Darcy." It seemed that he still held out hope that Will and Richard would give him access to her trust fund when she turned 25, though he had no intention to do so. Wickham's vehemence threw him off though. Will hadn't seen this darker side of Wickham, always assuming his bark was bigger than his bite. But this call had made it clear that Will had been wrong in his assessment of Wickham's character. He still wasn't sure that he would turn violent, but he spewed so much hate that Will was worried. And was now languishing in self-recrimination and unsure what to do. He snarled and threw his empty morning tea cup at the door.

Wickham knew that there wasn't much to do right now. He needed some time before he could plan anything and find a way to get himself down to London. He just wanted to stir the pot and piss off Darcy. He'd get his revenge. He knew if he played the long game he would eventually win. He might have to pretend he'd changed, that he'd never hurt her, that he'd be a good husband but he'd win in the end. He hadn't broken down her spirit for nothing. She'd always come back.

…

The Bennet sisters went home weekly on rotation even without Jane to check on their parents. When Jane was around she'd be taking on this responsibility more than the others as the consistent peace maker in the family. Normally Jane and Lizzy would come by every Saturday for breakfast and Mary, Maria, Kitty would drop by throughout the week. But now with Jane away it was Lizzy's turn to fill in. Lizzy loved her father who had mostly been silently supportive of her choices. But she rarely went to visit her parents, preferring to talk to him on the phone when she did. Even before her mother's stroke Lizzy's relationship with her hadn't been what anyone could call affectionate. Her mother was still able bodied but required a bit of help with some things because her coordination had deteriorated. Lydia's departure had made her mother more anxious and shrill about the lives of her daughters wanting to make sure that they were taken care of. Despite all this, Lizzy worried about her parents. Her mother lived in hope that she would one day see Lydia again. Her father weighed down by the guilt of everything that had happened refused to accept much help and tried to take care of his wife without any help. It was as if Lydia running away had spurred him out of his own indolence. It did sometimes pinch Lizzy that though he was supportive in other ways, he never actively took her side against Francis Bennet or put a stop to her ceaseless prattle about their decisions.

Francis Bennet used her stroke as best she could to push things and get her way since she had to keep her heart rate in check. And she knew that Lizzy couldn't overtly argue with her because of that and so pushed the same argument again and again. It frustrated her no end that while she could get her way with her husband and daughters, Lizzy firmly refused to engage with her. She didn't dislike her daughter, she just couldn't understand her. Why couldn't she be less chaotic, less impertinent, dress more attractively? Why couldn't she get a job that pays her better? Why did she keep defacing her body with tattoos? Why couldn't she find a boyfriend? The list was endless. "Mary and Jane are married, or as good as. I have one grandchild on the way, I'm sure Jane will have a child soon. What about you Lizzy, you're not getting any younger. It's time to have a family."

"Mum, I love you. But how many times can we have the same argument again?" With that pronouncement Lizzy stopped arguing with her mother and gave her a kiss on the cheek and left to help her father in the kitchen. Lizzy found that a quick escape always lent itself to an easy visit.

This time, instead of her mother asking this question it was her father who wondered something and knew that he needed to talk to his favourite daughter. "My darling girl, how are you? Who did you champion this week then? Come help me peel the potatoes, I saw a video for shepherds pie."

Lizzy trilled in laughter, "you and your videos. I don't know how you get the time to do everything around here."

"Lizzy, you know I must. How else can we get by?"

"You spend all your time trying to take care of mum, what about yourself? What about your relationship with the rest of us?"

Her father looked at her, knowing this is when he must say his piece. "I know I've failed you, failed all of you. In my indolence and desire to hide away from a house full of women I didn't see what was happening with Lydia after her surgery. I didn't notice how erratic her behaviour had become and how she was on more pain killers rather than less as time went on. The fallout from that one incident can clearly be laid to rest on my shoulders. I am paying the price by having to care for your mother after her stroke because of Lydia running away and you girls had no choice but to take care of yourselves. Somehow, you've all done well. I hadn't considered having to retire so early. I have been a terrible father and you've all had to rely on yourselves for everything. I know I should give you girls more time. But your mother needs me. It's my fault she's in a wheelchair."

Lizzy raised one eyebrow. She was surprised that he was willing to self-critical. She always thought that in his so called penance taking care of their mother, he'd started overlooking any other problems in front of him. "You're being surprisingly self-effacing. It doesn't suit you."

"Be serious, Lizzy."

Lizzy looked at him, he was so much older now. "I am. We all felt the fallout of what happened to Lydia and all of us reacted to it in different ways. Kitty had to grow up and decide what kind of adult she was going to be while at her first year at uni, Mary switched majors and ended up opening the centre leading her to Maria, I went back to the drawing board and realized that I had lost sight of my path during law school caring more for money than my own passions, Jane went from being a full time chef and baker to owning a café and baking for fun. Then there's both of you."

"My child, I did that because I had no choice at the time. Bingley has since offered to help, but I can't accept the charity. I needed to do it my way. But I worry my ego has stopped me from accepting help. If I did, I'd have more time to consider you girls."

She shrugged, "we're all adults now and have to forge our own paths in life. We made our choices. Has Mary taught you nothing? I think I can safely say that all us sisters are happy with the choices we made."

"But, who will take care of you? I never did."

She smiled as much as she could, during this heavy conversation. "I have a steady job, I'm damned good at what I do. My life lacks nothing. I do wish you could see that. But that is your choice to make. As I've told mother many times, we will take care of each other. But enough of this melancholy, I won't stand for it. Let's talk about other things. Did Mary tell you about the new caretaker she hired with Kitty's helping? G? She's this bright young thing. I can tell she has had a difficult past. I know I can help. I just don't want to overstep my boundaries or make decisions for her. That would be too paternalistic coming from a human rights lawyer." She laughed uncomfortably knowing what she would do if this were Lydia.

"I have no doubt you will find the best solution by working with her. Isn't that what you tell me has been one of your biggest lessons in human rights work, collaborating with clients to find the best solution for them?" he looked at her sagely.

Lizzy smiled, whatever he was, he was her father.

…

G 's time passed in an almost predictable manner for a few weeks. She felt a shift in her own confidence and Lizzy's support also drew her out. She was slowly but surely finding her own way. Gradually, Lizzy had gathered more or less G's whole story. Her marriage occurring despite her brother's express prohibition; how her husband wanted her fortune, how the toxic situation turned physically abusive; and how she finally left. She told Lizzy the story as best she could without having a complete breakdown. She knew she hadn't dealt with it all, there were days when she didn't know where to put her feelings because they consumed her. How did she let herself get manipulated by Wickham? How was she easily led astray? Why didn't she leave earlier? Why didn't she go back to her brother? All of these thoughts zoomed around her brain and she had no answer and then the emotions would weigh down on her.

Lizzy took a deep breath realizing that telling G her story would help her see that she could come out of it too. "G, I don't talk about this often. Even my sisters barely know what happened. But I feel like I can trust you. Will you listen to my story?"

"Of course you can trust me! I'd be honoured."

Lizzy took a few deep breaths. She wouldn't go into details but the short version might help G, "when I was about to start my final year of law school, I started dating a classmate. He was a nice guy outwardly. But overtime he became demanding and manipulative. The only time I wouldn't have to be with him is if I was studying because he'd always claimed he wanted me to do well, so when I went to the library, he'd never disturb me. It's part of the reason I graduated at the top of my class. But while it felt like encouragement at the time, I've since come to understand how manipulative and toxic that relationship was. If I went anywhere or spoke to people without him knowing it, it would end up in a big fight. If I didn't want to be physical with him, he would cry and coerce me into doing things I hadn't wanted to. It became quite bad. I'm sure you can imagine the rest."

G cried out, "but you're so strong, Lizzy."

Lizzy nodded, "that's what I'm telling you, darling. It isn't about how strong you are. It's about the fact that Wickham wanted to control you and your money. That's what abusers do. The thing I've realized in therapy is that it wasn't my fault. Yes, I made a choice to be with this person, but ultimately a person who is abusive will find a way to abuse you. That's what they do. I'm here now, on the other side years later and living a different life that I've created for myself piece by piece. I'm telling you this so you realize that you can do the same too. I'll help you, we'll all help you. The biggest piece of this for me was meeting Bruce, my therapist. I couldn't have asked for a better person in my corner."

She realized what Lizzy was telling her that she needed more support than the Bennets could provide. Lizzy's positive attitude about therapy rubbed off on G, and she decided to try it too. She met Jackie through the centre and slowly started to talk about her life and feelings.

1 February 2024

I've started talking to Jackie every other day. She explained confidentiality to me, and I realized that I could tell her things without dissembling. Even just telling her parts of my story has been so helpful. I didn't realize before I met Lizzy, how much I needed someone to listen to me. It's been so scary, but slowly I'm gaining some peace. I still wonder if Wickham will find me. I dread the day that he may. I don't know what I'll do if he does. It's been a month since I left. I wonder if that means that he won't find me. That would be so amazing, I could actually live in peace with the Bennets and make my own life. I look at the work that Lizzy has done. She talks about this life that she's built for herself and how she chose everything about it. I could do the same here too. And then there's Wills. I wonder if reaching out is a good idea? I don't feel strong enough for that yet. I worry that he'll again try and take my choices away from me and force me to do what he thinks is best. I won't be able to do that after tasting this life in Meryton, however briefly.

…

As G thought about her brother, a few towns over in London, her brother thought about her. He'd tried hard not to think about his sister for a long time, wondering how it had all come to this. Every time he did think about her, all he felt was guilt. He had no idea where Georgiana and Wickham were. He only hoped he'd been wrong in his thoughts about Wickham's character. He'd thought it a positive sign that Wickham hadn't asked for money since he married her. There were ten thousand pounds in her bank account when she'd left and hopefully that was enough to give them some start at a life along with her monthly allowance transferred promptly every month. He knew he'd handled the situation poorly. He'd hoped that she would come back on her own. When she hadn't, he'd been devastated. She'd levelled some rather staunch allegations against him about pride and conceit. Of course, he'd been brought up to think that pride where there is a superiority of mind isn't a problem. He'd thought she was being rather childish in saying these things that were obviously untrue because she wanted to get her own way and hurting him was a good way to do that.

He felt that he could've done more, handled the situation differently. There was no point. He hadn't done more than try and have them quietly followed for a few months. His investigator had told them that they lived within their means and they were fine. After those months of following them he'd let the investigator go thinking maybe she'd come back on her own or maybe that they'd be fine enough. If they were living within their means that gave him some hope. He had never tried after that. He'd hoped after the call from Wickham that he would see her. He gave her some time, assuming that she must've left him the day he called, who would wait in such a situation? But now he knew that she'd left, and she hadn't come to him. Who knew where she would be. This time he wouldn't fail her, he would do his best to find out where Georgiana had gone. Maybe she would finally be willing to admit her mistakes and come back home. He got on the phone with Richard who would know people who might be able to find her as well connected as he was. His time working in clandestine parts of the government would be helpful here.

I hope you're still enjoying it. Do leave a comment or review to let me know.