«What do you mean, join the club?» I blinked in confusion.
«I mean exactly what I'm saying.» Hiratsuka-sensei was smiling, but her eyes were serious. «You're willingly joining this club to redeem yourself for being a rude and disrespectful individual for too long.»
«Like hell I am!» I exclaimed in sheer disbelief. Surely, sensei isn't that delusional to think I'm really gonna waste my time here when I can waste it somewhere else?
«Hikigaya.» Hiratsuka-sensei's voice became low and threatening once again. She was back into her Nemesis mode, expressing her willingness to kill me for any sigh of disobedience with just her eyes. I swallowed nervously. «Surely, you aren't that delusional to think your opinion matters here?»
My riot was suppressed before it even started. Noble wrath of my soul knelt before the sheer brutal force of Hiratsuka's fists and threw in the towel putting up no resistance. In my head I was lying on the floor again, utterly defeated and wretched.
Satisfied with my lack of response, Hiratsuka-sensei chuckled and turned her Nemesis mode off. I let out a sigh of relief.
Sensei turned to Yukinoshita.
«Anyway, I'm entrusting this moron with you, Yukinoshita. Please turn him into a decent human being.»
Yukinoshita crossed her arms on her chest, looking at the teacher with doubt.
«I refuse.» She said coldly. «You're asking me of impossible. He's not even a human being, how can he become a decent one?»
Cunt.
«Besides, the thought of staying alone with him for a long time disturbs me greatly. Who knows what's he up to.» The girl said, hiding behind the chair and covering herself with her hands.
Huh, like she has any curves to hide! I've seen some wood boards which weren't as flat as her.
«Bollocks.» Hiratsuka-sensei waved her hand dismissively. «He just needs a firm hand, and then he'll behave. And I know nobody in Soubu Hugh who'll provide a higher level of control over him better than you.»
Gods, she's talking about it like I'm some fucking rabid pitbull who shouldn't be let off the leash under any circumstances. Does anyone in this fucking school still view me as a human?
Yukinoshita didn't seem convinced by sensei's words at all.
«Your high praise of my competency in this matter is very appreciated, Hiratsuka-sensei. However, I believe that Hikigaya-san needs a help of a professional. Maybe a highly qualified psychoterapist… Though, upon some thinking, I suppose a psychiatrist would be better in his case."
Yukinoshita's words struck a chord with me., making my fists clench by themselves. Not because of their cruelty, I've heard worse. The reason I felt hurt was that they had a ring of truth.
There had been a period in my life when I visited a psychotherapist. Every Thursday I would go to his fashionable office in the center of Chiba and rant about my life, answering his questions and half-listening to his advice on how to deal with my fits of rage. The old shrink wasn't a lil bit gentle with my feelings, obviously having a talent of finding my sore points and pressing them without hesitation to get my real feelings out of me. That's why our meetings often ended with me having another flash of anger and leaving.
After one especially intensive session, I was so enraged that I left shutting the door and never returned.
That was the day when I realized that I'd never change and accepted the eternal wrath as a part of me.
I keep telling myself that therapy wasn't my thing and couldn't be of any help to me, but deep down I know I could have done better had I wanted it. During the sleepless nights my thoughts drift to that day, and I wonder whether abandoning therapy truly was the right thing to do or I just failed miserably and now I'm just making excuses to myself.
Still, even if Yukinoshita is right about me, it sure as shit doesn't give her any right to talk shit to me like that.
«You sure are making bold statements for someone who doesn't know shit about me.» I took a step forward and hissed, making the girl flinch visibly. «I'm not one of your lickspittles you can insult with impunity.»
Yukinoshita's eyes were wider than before. She probably didn't expect me to lash out at her when Hiratsuka was still here, seeing the teacher's level of control over me. The ugly creature inside my chest felt some kind of twisted pleasure knowing I've managed to disturb her.
She probably gets it now that my reputation didn't appear out of nowhere.
«Hikigaya, calm down.» Hiratsuka-sensei said, squeezing my shoulder with her hand.
To my surprise, this time she didn't go into her Nemesis mode. Her voice was firm, but not severe, and she looked in my eyes without usual judgement.
We glared at each other for quite some time before I sighed and took a step back. Hiratsuka-sensei smiled and tapped me on my shoulder lightly.
«Sorry.» I mumbled, looking away from both of them.
My anger was gone, replaced with a certain embarrassment.
Maybe it's my Oni-chan instincts, but I don't really like lashing out at girls, even the likes of Yukinoshita. I always feel bad after it due to the fact that girls more often take everything to heart and therefore they get hurt by words more easily. The sight of a girl crying after I hit her with some rude words makes me want to throw myself off the nearest bridge. Fortunately, the Ice Queen doesn't seem the type to burst into tears due to a couple of slurs from some lowlife. Actually, it's more possible that she makes me cry than the other way around.
«Well, you two sure got a strong chemistry.» Hiratsuka-sensei broke the uncomfortable silence with a chuckle. «I'm sure you two will hit it off in to time.»
«I highly doubt it.» Yukinoshita said coolly, closing her eyes. «And I need to remind you that I still didn't agree to let Hikigaya-san join the Service Club.»
The girl's previous wariness of me faded away completely, replaced with her usual cold expression. She sure has managed to get a grip on herself quickly.
«I didn't sign up to join anything as well.» I felt the need to remind the two that I was still here as well.
«Told you already, Hikigaya, your opinion is of no import.» Sensei brushed me off like an annoying insect.
What was I hoping for, anyway?
«And I'm sure that Yukinoshita won't be so feeble to let herself be stopped by some obstacles, will she?»
Such a cheap provocation, sensei. Do you really think that Yukinoshita is actually gonna fall for such blatant manipula-
«It's a cheap provocation, Hiratsuka-sensei. But I'll fall for it. Hikigaya-san can be a part of the club.»
It turned out that Yukinoshita did, in fact, fall for such a cheap bait. I'm at loss of words.
«Great!» Hiratsuka-sensei clasped her hands, seemingly glad with us. «I'm basically feeling the beginning of a great 12-episode school romance anime!»
«Over my dead body.» I said deadpan, not wishing to indulge the silly fantasies of a middle-aged woman obsessed with manga culture.
Hikigaya-sensei smiled widely and tapped my shoulder again.
«Don't be so categorical in your judgement, Hikigaya. Anyway, I'll leave you to it.»
With that, sensei turned on her heels and walked out of the classroom, closing the door behind her. The sound of her heels was getting less and less audible, which meant she was getting farther and father from the room. One moment the sound disappeared completely.
Okay, scary sensei is not here anymore.
I slowly turned to Yukinoshita, who rewarded me with a cold stare. Then I slowly turned to the door. Then to Yukinoshita. Then to the door again.
The decision was pretty simple.
I took my bag, walked to the door and opened it slightly, looking around carefully.
Hiratsuka-sensei was standing in the end of the hallway. Noticing me, she frowned and threatened me with a fist. I cursed and closed the door.
«It seems your escape plan has just failed.» Yukinoshita noted without looking up from her book. Her eyes and voice were as cold as ever, but I could swear her lips slightly curved into a semblance of a smile.
Her amusement was really irritating.
«Don't bury me yet.» I replied with vexation in my voice, then walked to the opened window and leaned out of it.
It was the second floor, and unfortunately for me, there was only bare asphalt underneath. I'd escape through the window without hesitation if there was at least an opened dumpster which could ensure a soft landing, but there was none.
Theoretically, if I hang on the windowsill and release my hands, then I might land safely and not even break my legs. But that is a theory I don't really want to test.
Sensei got me cornered.
«Contemplating suicide, Hikigaya-san?» Yukinoshita didn't miss the opportunity to mock me.
With a sigh, I grabbed some dusty chair and put it down on the opposite side of the table, as far away from Yukinoshita as possible. Falling down on the chair with a loud grunt, I was mentally cursing all the things that led me here, including Hiratsuka's insecurities about her age, that damned essays I've failed to write properly and outright sabotaged, and finally, my own inability to shut up.
Yukinoshita was paying me no mind, still engrossed in her reading, occasionally turning the pages.
I drummed with my fingers on my lap, contemplating what to do. Since the option with running away proved to be impossible, the only things I can do is either ignore Yukinoshita completely and get the fuck out of the club the second the bell rings or try to establish contact with the Ice Queen and find out what is this club supposed to do.
The latter will likely prove to be way more difficult than the former, but for some reason I'm inclined to try. Maybe it's out of curiosity, maybe I'm just bored, it's unimportant.
«Yukinoshita-san?» I addressed her, trying to imitate as much respect in my voice as possible.
That got her attention. She raised her eyes from the pages and turned them to me, raising her eyebrow quizzically.
«What exactly is this club?» I asked, leaning back on the chair and looking her in the eyes. «Hiratsuka-sensei gave me zero information about its purpose.»
Yukinoshita sighed and closed her book, then put it in her bag and turned to me again. Her face had a rather discontented expression, which indicated that she was more interested in her reading than any possible conversation we could have.
«Okay, let's have fun a little. Guess.»
I suppressed another flash of anger, letting out an annoyed puff. Is it so hard for this girl to have a decent conversation with me and not try to belittle me at every fucking opportunity?
Fuck it, I'll play along.
«Well, since it's called Service Club, I don't need to be fucking Sherlock to figure out that the members of the club should be of service.» I said thoughtfully, noticing Yukinoshita frown at the word fucking. «But there's still a question of who the club should serve. Are its members supposed to be errand boys for the Student Council or the teachers? Like, free workforce?»
«The only thing you got right is that we indeed should be of service.» Even admitting my rightness, Yukinoshita managed to debase me. «But we aren't errand boys, though we might help the Student Council or the teachers if asked. But we don't serve them. We serve the people.»
Her last phrase sounded like an advertising slogan of a political party, which made me realize something. Throughout our whole interaction, I've been struggling to remember where I had heard the name "Yukinoshita", but now I get it.
Her father is the Vice Chairman of the Chiba Prefectural Assembly. For those who don't know, it's our local parliament. That's where her eloquence probably comes from.
«Can you be a little more exact, please, Yukinoshita-san?» I asked her crossing my arms. «Because I still can't get how the members of the club are different from errand boys. I just know now that they serve basically fucking everyone instead of two organizations.»
Yukinoshita closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
«First off, Hikigaya-san, haven't you been taught not to use obscene language in front of a girl?»
Her words made a memory rise in my mind, a memory unwelcome and unwanted.
I was nine, standing in front of my mother while she was scolding me for calling the daughter of our neighbors a cunt. She was berating me for almost an hour before grabbing me by the hand and leading me to their house to ask the girl for forgiveness. I stubbornly refused and only managed to squeeze the apologies out of mw under the threat of being strictly punished.
I shook my head, chasing the memories of my old life away.
«Have you been raised in such a sterile environment that the word «fuck» is something totally unacceptable to you?» I asked raising my eyebrow.
Come on, is twenty first century already! I'm aware that my country has rather conservative views when it comes to slurs, but I'm positive I'm not the only Japanese high schooler who abuses the foul language. The obscene vocabulary becomes a usual part of our life, and yet some people out there still can't get used to it.
«I've been raised among the people who have a vocabulary wide enough to express their feelings without resorting to using curses.» Yukinoshita answered coldly, looking at me like I was no more than a piece of dirt beneath her feet. «The same can't be said about you, apparently.»
«Please, I have the best grades in Modern Japanese in the whole school.» I snorted, waving her allegation off. «The last thing I'm lacking in is vocabulary. I just like the word «fuck». It's so versatile. You can use it when you're angry, happy, sad, surprised, tired, afraid, excited, hurt… You can use it in every situation! Isn't it fascinating when one word can replace a thousand of others?»
Yukinoshita didn't seem convinced of the great power the word «fuck» possessed, but chose not to argue.
«You asked what was the difference between us and errand boys, so I'll break it down so even a piranha eyes moron like you can understand.»
«Why the fuck do you all seem so keen on mocking my eyes?!» I growled in frustration.
Seriously, what did my poor eyes do to them that they can't leave them alone?
«Unlike errand boys, we don't simply do people's work for them.» Yukinoshita went on talking, ignoring my outrage. «We help them do their work themselves, just with a little bit of our assistance.»
Something clicked in my brain.
«So it's according to that principle.» I said, rubbing my forehead. «Don't give a starving man fish, because he'll eat it and starve again. Give him a fishing rod, teach him how to fish and he'll never starve again.»
«I'm surprised you know it, Hikigaya-san.» Yukinoshita admitted, her voice even. «Maybe you won't be entirely useless, only 90%. Welcome to Service Club.»
«I'm so fucking glad to be accepted, you got no idea.»
The next day I hurried out of the classroom the moment the bell rang. I needed to get to my bike, fast!
«Hikigaya!» Sensei's voice stopped me dead in my tracks. «You didn't forget about the club, did you?»
«Nope, Hiratsuka-sensei.»
«Cool, then let me walk you there.» She said grabbing me by the hand.
Before I could understand anything, I was dragged through the hallway like a dog on a leash. I like to think that I'm not a weak guy in the slightest, and yet sensei's steel grip proved to be unshakable. So I let myself be thrown into the room occupied by Service Club again.
The rest of the week was pretty normal. Every time after the lessons I went to the club and stayed there with Yukinoshita until the club time was over. Her and I didn't talk much, having tacitly agreed on some kind of armed neutrality. She spent her time reading some western novels, while I occupied myself with manga or light novels.
Everything changed on the next Monday, when I felt sudden urge to drink some of my favorite MAX Coffee.
«I'll be back soon.» I notified Yukinoshita and stood up, getting a nod from her in response.
Whistling, I opened the door and stepped forward when I felt something bump into my chest.
Looking down, I saw a pair of peach-reddish eyes looking at me in shock.
«Hikki?!»
Hikki?
The fuck?