Chapter 16.
John Winchester seemed a lot less dead when he was drinking beer from a bottle still cold from Bobby's refrigerator. It felt like old times and Dean hoped Sam wouldn't decide to stay away. The warning had been to prepare him, not to make him stay home. Dean wanted them to enjoy time together and he also wanted Eileen to distract his father's attention from Anael.
Fortunately, John appeared to have distracted Crowley from Anael. Crowley came over to them and looked John up and down. "You cast a long shadow." he said, "I feel like I know you."
"You're the King of Hell, right?" said John.
Crowley shrugged. "The former King of Hell. Hell has a Queen now. Competent, but lacks my flair."
"Are you planning to take it back?" said John.
"No. I got bored. Now I work with Heaven, fixing everything the former God got wrong."
"I have to say, the cosmology of all this is making my head spin."
"Right there with you." said Dean, "I taught the current God to drive in the Impala."
"Best car for the job." said John.
"Agreed. I lent it to Sam today. I figure Eileen should travel in comfort and style."
"Good move." said John, "You always took care of the family."
"I did my best, but I wasn't you." said Dean.
"And that's to your credit." said John. He smiled at Anael, "Is he good to you?"
That was precisely the kind of question Dean had been dreading and he was relieved when Anael answered, "Always." without a hint of how badly he had mistreated her at the start.
"Good to hear." said John.
"Again," said Dean, "I do my best."
John looked into his eyes. Dean felt about fifteen years old and under interrogation. He felt his shoulders stiffen as he raised his head, trying to look unconcerned, even defiant, but still, after all these years, afraid of his father's judgement.
"I wasn't criticising." said John.
"Like I said," said Crowley, "A long shadow."
"What does he mean?" said John.
Dean shrugged awkwardly, the stiff shoulders not affording much movement. "Don't know, don't care. Crowley's in a weird mood today."
"He doesn't like me." said Anael, "It's a demon/angel thing. Gets his horns all bent out of shape."
"I don't have horns," said Crowley, irritably, "And I have no problem with angels. Cas and I are like brothers."
"I wouldn't say that." said Cas.
"That's because you're emotionally constipated." said Crowley.
"Do they fight all the time?" John asked Dean, taking the pressure off him for a moment.
"Pretty much." said Dean, "They only mean about half of it. Crowley's okay, deep down. Like, really deep down. Like, subterranean."
"Careful, Dean," said Crowley, "Such effusive praise may go to my head."
"It's a big head. It can handle it." said Dean.
Crowley looked at John again. "Maybe I don't get along with all the hangers on, but I respect your sons. I respect one of their angels. The world's still here because of them and I happen to like the world. Jack's a good kid, if a little too earnest and he thinks like a Winchester, so
I mostly trust him. I'm not saying I'm a good person ... not a person at all, really, but Dean and Sam will tell you, I am their friend."
John glanced to Dean for confirmation.
He nodded. "Yeah, he is. I don't trust him on principle, but I know that I can."
"Crowley's had a Hell of a redemption arc," said Bobby, "Pun intended."
"We all have." said Dean, with a glance to Anael.
"I think you'll find you're the redeemer, not the redeemed, for all of us." said Cas.
Dean looked at John, troubled as to what he would make of that, but John was smiling. He liked what he was hearing. That seemed more miraculous than Crowley's transformation into friend.
"Your son," said Crowley, "Tends to change people."
"Apparently so." said John.
"It's a talent all Winchesters have." said Bobby, "But Dean and Sam more than most."
"Nobody ever changed you." said John.
Bobby chuckled. "A lot happened after you chickened out of the fight."
Dean saw a glimmer of anger in John's eyes, then he laughed. "See? You're still the same grumpy old son of a bitch you always were!"
"Guilty." said Bobby, "Never pretended otherwise."
"Heaven's hunters miss you, since you fleshed out on us."
"They have a Winchester. They don't need me. I'm here to speak up for humanity."
"As I recall, you never had a high opinion of humanity."
"Maybe I mellowed."
"No," said Cas, "You didn't. That's why I need you. There are a million humans I could have chosen, but you have sense, understanding and integrity. You tell me the truth, good or bad."
"Yeah, he does that." said John with a smirk, "I had my ass handed to me a few times."
"Only when it needed to be done." said Bobby, "And Dean'll tell you, I did the same to him, when he needed it."
"Many, many times." said Dean fondly.
"Winchesters sometimes needs little tough love." said Bobby.
"And sometimes, they just need love." said Crowley.
Dean wasn't sure how to take that. He might be saying it just to provoke one or all of them, or it could be a rare flash of sincere sympathy and it was true, but he wasn't about to say so. He pretended not to have heard. He avoided looking at Crowley or Anael. Instead, he turned to Cas and said, "You didn't pick an easy team for yourself."
"No," said Cas, "But the task is not easy either and when they stop squabbling, they do excellent work. Things are so much different in Heaven and Hell already."
"Heaven improves all the time." said John, "More freedom, no Twilight Sleep memories. A lot of old friends up there, finally getting to see each other again. What's changed in Hell?"
"Oh, everything!" said Crowley, "The whole ethos is shifting. No more drab stagnation, well, not as much, anyway. Souls know there's a way out. They don't all believe it's real yet, but a lot are starting to try. Meg goes there a lot to check on progress."
"You don't?" said John.
"Not a fan of the place." said Dean, "And he and his mom have some issues."
"I'm confident that those will be resolved with time." said Castiel.
"I find your affection for my mother disturbing." said Crowley. He turned to John. "I was not in charge of Hell when you were there."
"I know," said John, "That' s why I'm not stabbing you in the face."
"Let's not reminisce about Hell." said Dean.
John's eyes met his for a moment. He was sure they both felt the same pain. He wondered if his father knew that he had failed to withstand the torture. John nodded to him and he tried not to look for disappointment in his eyes.
U expectantly, Anael changed the subject. "Dean told me you took him to a zoo when he was a little kid." she said to John.
John smiled warmly. "I never thought you'd remember that." he said.
Dean looked from Anael to John, trying to keep his balance as the ground shifted around him. "Yeah, we went to a zoo in Salina and it came back to me."
"That was a good day." said John, "Those were all good days." Dean could hear the change of tone. The guilt was settling over John. He was remembering how bad Dean's childhood had become.
"It was a perfect day." he said quickly, "We had some great times."
John's smile acknowledged the attempt to deflect from his failings. "We did." he said, "So, how was Salina?"
"A great place for a date." said Dean. Normally, he wouldn't have been that specific, but it further distracted from the painful past and gave them something else to talk about.
"Oh!" said John, turning to Anael, "You liked the zoo?"
"I loved it." she said.
He looked at Dean again. "I never used to hear about your dates."
"I never really dated." said Dean.
"And you started with an angel?" said Crowley.
"What's wrong with that?" said Cas.
"The boy aims high," said John, "Like his father."