TRIGGER warning: Felicia tells what Ryan did to her.

Chapter 63- Therapy

Carly slipped her phone away and sat back at the table where Willow was humming to a smiley Amelia.

"Willow, I hope you've learned from this experience," Carly said.

Willow stopped humming and shifted uncomfortably.

"You can be too trusting sometimes," Carly continued. "But when you know a person is toxic and harmful, like Nina, you can't endanger your children by allowing her not only to have access to them but to live under the same roof. This is why you've lost mine and Michael's trust. Neither of us wanted this. If you start to make better choices, then you can continue to see Amelia, and we can reassess your access to Wiley. But if you keep living with Nina and having a relationship with her, then we can't trust your judgement and you will no longer have access to Amelia either. The choice is yours. What will it be?"

Willow's mind drifted to Nina, how far they'd come and the memories they started to build. But she looked into Amelia's blue eyes and thought of her sweet Wiley. She swallowed hard. "I've been staying with Sasha since the hearing. I will talk to her about staying there until I can get my own place."

Carly smiled. "That's a good start. I will give Wiley his present."

GHGHGH

"Hi Nina." Sasha hugged her. "How are you doing?"

Nina let her in and sat on the couch with her. "Not great. I haven't seen Willow since the hearing and her texts are very vague. I don't know how my grandchildren are doing. I fear I've lost them all over again. How is Willow?"

Sasha sighed. "She's not good either. She's visiting Amelia right now, so hopefully that cheers her up a bit."

"Has she said anything about me?"

Sasha nodded. "She doesn't want to lose you, but she's going to put her children first. So, if the only way she can remain in their lives is to distance herself from you, then she's willing to do that. I'm so sorry, Nina."

Nina wiped her wet eyes. "I hate Carly. I hate her. I absolutely hate her! But you watch, it'll be just like before. Everyone will be applauding her because she's protecting the kids and even Willow from evil me. She's always justified. It's always everyone else and we all deserve it. It's never her fault. Everyone always takes her side. But I won't rest until she pays, not only for what she did to me, but for what she's doing to my daughter and my grandchildren now."

"Okay, Nina, I know you're upset and you have every right to be. But you can't pay Carly back."

"Oh, yes I can and yes I will!"

"If you do, it will only backfire on you. Like you said, she's always justified and everyone takes her side. That means if you strike back, you're the one who's going to get hurt and you will probably lose Willow and the kids forever."

"So, I just have to roll over and let her get away with it?" Nina asked. "She ripped my daughter's children away from her. She's coming between me and my daughter again. And she's controlling my daughter! I won't let her get away with this."

GHGHGH

"Hi, you must be Esme?" Lainey shook her hand, then sat across from her.

Esme nodded.

"Why don't you tell me a little about yourself and why you are seeking counseling," Lainey said.

"Um, I don't really know who I am. I'm here because of the court order and because I want to honour my mom."

"Okay, well hopefully therapy can help you learn a little more about yourself. How are your living arrangements?"

"Ace and I live with Mommy right now. Mac and Georgie are there too."

"Who is Ace?" Lainey asked.

"My son."

"How do you get along with Mac and Georgie?"

Esme shrugged. "I don't spend much time with Mac. I'll sometimes watch movies with Georgie, but our mom is always with us too. It's always her idea. That's about it. But I guess I get along better with Georgie than Maxie."

"You and Maxie don't get along?"

"No."

"Why not?" Lainey asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Esme said. "I like Cody the best."

"Who is Cody?"

"My mom's stepson."

"Okay. I know Maxie and Georgie are quite a bit older than you," Lainey commented. "How old is Cody?"

"I don't know. Like 40?"

"And do you have any friends your age? It sounds like all of your family is older than you. It's good to be around people your age too."

"I've been hanging out with Emma sometimes," Esme said. "But I know she only does because my mom asked her to. Cameron and Jake joined us a couple of times. But I don't think Cam likes me."

"Hmm, do you get out of the house a lot?"

"Not really. Just those few times, and I'll take Ace swimming sometimes. And my mom will take us places."

"Okay. Moving forward. Do you work anywhere? Are you in school or if you're not would you like to go back to school?"

"Well, I used to work at the Invader, but I quit," Esme explained. "I was court ordered community service at a soup kitchen, which I just started. And I used to go to PCU, but I never finished my major. But I do want to go back to school."

"What was your major?" Lainey asked.

"Psychology."

"Why did you choose psychology? Would you like to get back into it?"

"I chose it because Daddy told me to," Esme said. "I wanted to make him proud of me. But I don't want to get back into it."

"And what would you like to study now?" Lainey asked.

"I'm going to study to be a P.I."

"Why do you want to be a P.I.?"

"To be like Mommy and to make her proud of me. And then I can be with her every day."

"Is she a P.I.?"

"Yes," Esme said.

"Okay, well most people don't choose their careers to be with their parents every day," Lainey said. "It's important to have good relationships with our parents and to spend time with them, but it's healthy to spend time apart too when you're an adult and to be independent. Why do you want to be with her every day?"

Esme's cheeks went red and she stood up. "This was a bad idea. I'm going now."

"I'm sorry, Esme. This session is for you. You don't have to answer anything you don't want to. If you want to leave, that's fine, but I hope you stay."

Esme stared at her.

"We can talk about anything you'd like," Lainey said.

"Anything?"

"Anything."

Esme sat back down. "There's this story that I heard. I want to read it myself. But I don't know what it's called or where to find it."

"Hmm… I don't know if I'll know it, but you can tell me about it and I'll see if I can help you."

"Cyrus was reading it at the soup kitchen earlier. There was this shepherd who had a bunch of sheep. I don't remember how many. But one got lost and he left the other sheep to find the missing one. And he was celebrating when he found it."

"Oh, that's the parable of the lost sheep," Lainey said. "It's in the Bible."

Her eyes welled up. "That's why I want to be with Mommy every day and why I want to be just like her."

"Does that story remind you of her?"

Esme nodded.

"What part of it reminds you of her?" Lainey asked.

"Because she left Maxie and Georgie to try to find me."

"That's a good connection," Lainey said. "Can you tell me why she had to find you?

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay, maybe another time you'll feel up to it. Can we talk a little more about being a P.I.? Do you enjoy researching and investigating? What about surveillance and computer work?"

"I don't know."

"And I've heard there's a combination of administrative and field work involved," Lainey said.

Esme sat up straighter. "I did administrative work at the Invader!"

"Oh, did you enjoy it?"

"Um… well it was a good feeling making my own money."

"Okay. Well, I've been sensing a theme throughout this session," Lainey said. "You mentioned you went into Psychology because you wanted your father to be proud of you, and now you want to be a P.I. to make your mother proud of you. While wanting to make your parents proud of you can be a good motivator, it shouldn't be the only reason you choose a career. And most parents are proud of their children for doing well in things they enjoy. Esme, I'm going to give you a little homework."

" Homework?"

"Yes. I'd like you to write out a few lists. The first one, I'd like you to write out all the reasons you'd like to be a P.I. and what interests you about the work. The second list I'd like you to write out the reasons, if any, why you wouldn't want to be a P.I. The third list write down all your interests and hobbies."

"Okay…."

"And I also want to challenge you to get out of the house more, not just with your mom. It's healthy for you to not be with her all the time. Maybe ask Emma to do more things with you. It's good to be around other young people."

Esme stared at her for a moment, then got up and bolted out of the room.

GHGHGH

"Hello, Felicia." Carolyn smiled. "What brings you here today?"

"Well, my daughter Maxie suggested it and made me realize that I put this off way too long," Felicia said. "And to be honest, I probably wouldn't have ever come if she didn't help me see that this would help her and her sisters in the long run."

"Okay, and why did Maxie suggest it?" Carolyn asked.

"Because Ryan Chamberlain raped me 21 years ago and I recently found my two daughters who were taken from me."

"I'm very sorry to hear that. But that's good you were able to find them. Can you tell me a little more?"

"I'm not sure where to start," Felicia said. "Well, a lot happened at that time. The girls and I had just returned to Port Charles after visiting my grandmother in Texas for the summer. I was dating Roy DiLucca then. He was a mobster, and I'm not proud that I put my girls in danger by being with him. But every time Roy was with us, Luis Alcazar kept coming around. He was making me nervous and I wanted to tell Mac but Roy kept assuring me that we would be safe with him. But quickly, Alcazar wasn't the only one approaching me. I sensed someone else watching us and I assumed it was one of Alcazar's men. But then Alcazar kidnapped Maxie and Georgie and…. Oh my gosh."

"What is it?"

"Luis was Diego Alcazar's uncle. Diego was the text message killer who attacked Georgie when we thought she was killed. But I still don't know how it's connected to Victor and the Harrells."

"I'm sorry, Felicia, but I'm not following," Carolyn said.

Felicia shook her head. "Sorry. I think I just figured out another piece of the puzzle, but it only raises more questions. I'll get back on track. Luis Alcazar kidnapped Maxie and Georgie. I panicked and wanted to call the police, especially Mac. But Roy advised me against it. Finally, one of Alcazar's men took me to my girls. They weren't hurt, just scared. I convinced Alcazar to trade me as his captive and to let Maxie and Georgie go. He kept me for a few days before he finally let me go. On my way home, by one of the warehouses… that's when… when Ryan appeared. I thought he was killed in that funhouse years ago, when he kidnapped Georgie when she was a baby, but he was being held by the DVX and escaped. He told me how disappointed he was that I burned my wedding dress years ago, when he kept me trapped in a cabin and wanted me to marry him right then and there. And he kept saying how he's given me so many chances. How we belong together and no matter what I do or where I go, he'll always be with me. I tried to run but he grabbed me and pinned me to the ground. He said we would become one and it would be a permanent mark of our shared love. And well, I'll spare the rest of the details, but I think you get the gist."

Carolyn shook her head. "That sounds terrifying."

"It was. I didn't know who to talk to. And after that Ryan kept sending me letters saying he would come get me and my girls as soon as he could. I never told Roy, but he kept warning me against going to Mac or the police about Alcazar. And Roy had guards for us, so I thought we'd be safe with him for the time being. I wouldn't let Maxie or Georgie out of my sight and some days I wanted to kill myself. A few times I came close to it. But then I started getting morning sickness. I knew I was pregnant pretty much right away." She smiled thinking about it. "It was like a miracle. Good was brought out of evil. Suicide wasn't even a thought anymore. My baby gave me purpose and I knew I had to protect her as well as Maxie and Georgie. After Roy and I broke up, I didn't want Ryan to find out about my baby, so I thought it was best to give birth to her in Texas, where my grandmother owned a ranch. I thought it would be more secretive. I didn't even tell my older girls. I thought it would be safer if they didn't know, so I left them with Mac. Grandmother was with me when I gave birth to Frankie. She was beautiful, just like her sisters."

"You loved your baby," Carolyn said.

"I did. I still do. I was absolutely devastated when I came home and found my grandmother knocked out and my baby gone. It hurt even worse than the rape. I searched and searched and searched, but she was gone without a trace. I even sought help from my ex-husband. We'd solved mysteries in the past together, but every lead we got only led to dead ends. And then a few years later, I got the worst call ever, telling me that Georgie was murdered. She was dead and I wasn't even there. Maxie was furious with me when I returned home. So was Mac, and he didn't want me to help him investigate Georgie's murder. I don't blame either one of them. I was going to stay and try to be there for Maxie, but then Frisco called me again."

"Did he have another lead on Frankie?" Carolyn asked.

"Yes. And I was so at war with myself at the time because I knew Maxie needed me, even though she was pushing me away. But Frankie was only 4 years old when we thought Georgie died. I didn't know if she was safe or where she was or how she was being treated. Maxie was 20 at that time. I know she needed me so much too, but I knew she had Mac and Robin. I didn't know if Frankie had anyone, other than whoever her kidnapper was. So, I had to leave my 20-year-old and look for my 4-year-old. I know I should have told Mac and Maxie… but I couldn't get it out. Every conversation I had with Maxie then, she ended up yelling at me for leaving her and Georgie."

Carolyn passed Felicia the Kleenex box.

"Thank you. I told myself after the first couple of years that if I found Frankie and she somehow ended up in a loving home, that I would walk away and not uproot her. But I had to know if she was okay."

"Of course," Carolyn said.

"But she wasn't okay," Felicia choked up. "She was never safe. She was never treated well. And neither was Georgie. She was alive all this time and I didn't even know it. Through all the joy and relief I've experienced in finding them, my heart is breaking watching them. Georgie is so weak and I know she's depressed, even though she tries to hide it. Frankie doesn't know up from down and she's very insecure. She thinks everyone is out to get her. And I know that it's my fault. All of it. Ryan, the Harrells, the Alcazars, Victor. They only went after them because of me. I've failed all of them, even Maxie."

"I think you're being too hard on yourself," Carolyn said. "You weren't dealt an easy hand. I think for this week, you should write down all the ways you have done good for them through the years. All the things you did right, including now. Even write down your good intentions behind everything. Instead of feeling like you've failed them, I think you should start seeing that you did your best all along, when so many things were outside of your control."

GHGHGH

Esme sat on a chair in the waiting room and crossed her arms while she waited for her mom. She glanced over when Molly stepped off the elevator holding baby Scarlett.

"Are you ready to go see Daddy?" Molly asked.

Scarlett reached up and touched her face.

Molly kissed her forehead. "Come on, sweetie." She took her down the hall.

After a few minutes, a mother and her little girl came walking towards the elevator holding hands.

"Are you excited go home?" the mother asked.

The girl nodded. "Uh huh. No more surgery, Mommy. I just want to play with you every day and forever."

"We sure will. We'll always be together. Always."

The elevator doors opened and a woman helped her teenaged daughter get off.

"I know it's probably just sprained," the woman said. "But I don't want to take any chances. Let's just get an x-ray to make sure."

The daughter sighed. "But I don't want to miss out on our Florida trip."

"I'm sure you will be fine. If not, we'll plan a different mother-daughter trip another time. Maybe we can do a spa day instead."

"Just you and me?"

"Just you and me."

Esme's teary eyes moved to Trina coming down the hallway and she found Portia at the nurse's station.

"Hey, honey," Portia said. "What's wrong?"

Trina hugged her. "I've just been driving around…. Mom, can I move back in with you?"

"Of course. You always can. But did something happen?"

"Yes, something happened. You were right about Spencer. Josslyn too."

"Hey, how did it go?" Felicia asked, walking over to Esme.

Esme looked up at her. "I'm not going back."

Felicia frowned and sat beside her. "Did something happen?"

"She doesn't want me to be with you. That's what happened."

"What?" Felicia asked. "Are you sure that's what she meant?"

"You don't believe me?"

"Of course. But I also know you were very nervous, so maybe she didn't mean it that way. She's probably still here. Maybe we can ask her to clarify what she meant? What exactly did she say?"

"That you're older than me and it's not healthy for me to be with you. I need to be around people my age."

"Well, mothers tend to be older than their daughters," Felicia said. "That doesn't mean you can't spent time together."

"And she said I need to get out of the house more and not just with you."

Felicia sighed. "Did she think we spend too much time together? Do you think maybe she didn't mean to never be with me but just not all the time?"

Esme shrugged and looked over as Portia wrapped her arm around Trina and took her into a room. "Maybe. But we're not together all the time."

"Okay, I think this might just be a misunderstanding. She probably just doesn't know the full context. You have been getting out more on your own. I was going with you a lot because of many factors. There was Heather, Spencer, etc. You don't have a car. And the fact that we're making up for lost time. If you want, we can find you a different therapist, but if I were you, I would just explain all that to her. And that you are making friends and volunteering and deciding about school. These things take time, but you're working towards them. And it's also okay to say no to some of her suggestions. So, if she's telling you to never see me… well I would not be happy about that. So, I would tell her no."

"I did tell her that I've been hanging out with Emma, Cam, and Jake and that I'm volunteering and wanting to go back to school," Esme said. "But she made me feel stupid about wanting to be a P.I."

"How did she make you feel stupid?" Felicia asked.

"She just kept asking me all these questions about it and she questioned my motives. She even wants me to write lists on why I want to be a P.I. and why I don't."

Felicia smiled. "Frankie, I don't think she was trying to make you feel stupid. She was giving you a good tool to help you decide if that's the career you want. And I think that's a great way to help you decide. Dr. Webber gave me an exercise like that too."

"She did?"

Felicia nodded. "Look, in my opinion, I think you should keep seeing Dr. Winters. I think she'll be good for you, but you can just clarify to her a few things. And I personally love the relationship we're building. Yes, there's always room for growth, but I think we're headed in the right direction. And you are working on independence, but I don't think we need to see less of each other, because I think we need each other."

TJ came down the hallway with Molly and Scarlett. Molly kissed baby Scarlett's cheek.

Esme started crying. "I think so too."

Felicia hugged her. "Then you can tell her that too."

"Okay. I'll give her another chance."

GHGHGH

"Hey Carly." Sonny let her in. "Thanks for surprising me with Donna."

Carly grinned. "I thought you'd like that."

"She's upstairs playing."

"I just dropped Amelia off with Michael," Carly said. "I had a good talk with Willow. She said she's going to stay with Sasha until she can get her own place."

He nodded. "I should've listened to you about Nina."

"Yeah. Well, I made it clear to Willow that the choice is hers," Carly said. "I cannot control her. It is her choice. But if she chooses to endanger Wiley and Amelia, then we will have to continue to take necessary action to protect them."

"Good."

"Also, there's something else I want to tell you." She led him over to the couch and held his hand. "I'm pregnant."

His mouth dropped slightly. "Pregnant?"

"Yes. And you're the father."

A huge smile spread across his face. "We're going to have another baby."

"Three, actually. We're having triplets." She took his hand and placed it over her stomach.

"Triplets? Well, we've got our work cut out for us. But I'm going to love every minute of it." He kissed her. "You know what? Why don't you and Donna move in? Then we'll all be together again. And I can be there for you during your pregnancy, the birth, and bringing the babies home."

Carly thought about it.

"Then you won't be alone." Sonny stroked her hair. "I've always loved you, Carly, and I always will."

"I love you too, Sonny. Yes, we'll move back in!" She kissed him again.

Upstairs, Donna made her way into her dad's room. She opened his closet and looked at the case where he kept his guns. She tried to open it but there was a lock and a combination code on it.

"Donna!" Carly called up to her. "Mama's here!"

Donna stared at the case a little longer, then shut the door and ran downstairs.

"Daddy and I have a couple of things to tell you," Carly said

"Your mom is pregnant with triplets," Sonny said. "And you're both moving in with Daddy."

Donna hugged them both. "Yay!"

Carly kissed the top of her head. "And you'll never have to worry about Nina again."