Chapter 4

Visions Spark Change

Harry's arm came up to wipe the sweat from his brow. The hot midday sun baked down on his body. He had been in the yard for close to five hours. Aunt Petunia had handed him an extensive list of chores again today. This was his seventh day back at the Dursley's and every horrid day had been the same. Aunt Petunia would wake up at six, pound on his door and unlock it. Then she would start screaming at Harry that he was being a 'lay-about' and he better go downstairs and start breakfast. Harry would race to the bathroom after being locked in all night. Then make breakfast and listen to the Dursley's berate him. Then after not being allowed to eat he would be handed a list of chores. He would work all day. Finishing the evening with making dinner and dinner dishes. Then if he was lucky being handed a glass of water and maybe sandwich. He would eat quickly and then once again be locked in his room. Then his relatives could 'enjoy there evening without the freak hanging about'.

Harry had mostly avoided any more attention from Uncle Vernon. He hoped that he could heal from the current bruises before the next set. He had a warm red glow on his exposed skin from sunburn from all the hours spent in the yard. He had weeded the flower beds in the front and back. He had mowed the lawn, pruned the hedges, planted the annuals, painted the fence and the shed. He was now doing maintenance and repairs on the lawn mower, as well as oiling some other tools in the shed to keep them in 'proper working condition.' As if anything in the Dursley house was less than perfect. Except for Harry himself of course.

Harry sighed. He still had several outside tasks to complete today before he would be allowed to complete the inside chores. The thought once again crossed his mind of who did this work while he was away at Hogwarts. He had been responsible for many of these chores for years.

Leaning down Harry collected the next tool a rather sharp pair of lawn shears. As his hand closed around the handle the back door slammed open and his hand slipped. He sliced open his right arm towards his wrist. Harry winced and reached for a rag not covered in oil. He pressed it to his bleeding arm. Tying it quickly he looked up and caught sight of his uncle lumbering towards the shed where he was sitting.

"What are you doing, boy?" Vernon shouted as he approached Harry.

"We keep your worthless freaky hide housed and fed and you repay us by sitting around. I'll teach you."

Vernon huffed and puffed as he crossed the lawn. Face turning a violet color.

Harry stood quickly. He knew he wouldn't get away from whatever Vernon decided was 'appropriate punishment' for the crime of sitting around. But, being seated was just waiting to be kicked.

"I was oiling the gardening tools like Aunt Petunia asked, sir." Harry replied, lowering his head slightly but keeping Vernon in sight.

Vernon's large left hand reached out, tightly gripping Harry's upper arm in a vice-like grip. Harry winced. Before Harry had even noticed his uncle's hand moved. Harry felt pain rip through the side of his face and stumbled back. Vernon released his arm with a sharp shove. Harry landed hard on the gardening tools he had been working on.

"Get this mess cleaned up, Freak!" Vernon spat.

Harry slowly righted himself as he watched his uncle stomp back into the house.

Harry quickly assessed himself. His cheek, which had still shined with his welcome home present felt much worse. His body ached but not much worse than it had before. Thankfully he hadn't been impaled on any of the tools. As he reached for the tools to begin putting them back in the obsessively clean shed, Harry noticed his palm was covered in blood.

Harry remembered the nasty slice in his arm. He raised it to his face. He bit into one end of the rag and gripping the other, he pulled tight the makeshift bandage. It would have to do until he had a chance to get to his room and clean and wrap it properly. Bleeding out from a gardening accident wouldn't do. He was needed to defeat Voldemort. Although the prospect of just letting the blood run free and take him held some appeal. He wondered if he would see his parents and Sirius again.

Pushing those thoughts to the back and reclaiming the numb haze he had been living in, he finished his task and returned to the house.

Harry sat on the side of his bed. His arm laid out in his lap. He looked at the slice in his arm. He had been able to run some cold water on it with the garden hose outside while he watered Aunt Petunia's Garden. The bleeding had mostly stopped although it still seemed to swell with blood with the slightest pressure. Harry prodded the wound slightly. It ran almost five inches at a slight diagonal up his arm starting at the wrist. It crossed many other scars on his arm. This one was mostly unique because it was truly an accident. It wasn't an injury from his 'family' or one of his 'adventures' and he hadn't done it to himself on purpose. Those little white scars were just another one of his secrets. He hadn't fallen for that particular coping mechanism in a while.

Harry thought back to his day's before he was a wizard. He supposed he had always been a wizard, but it felt like he lived two different lives. One before and one after he knew of the wizarding world. Before he had been whisked away by Hagrid. Before he made friends. Before he learned about all of the wonderful and terrible parts of the wizarding world. He had spent as much time as he could away from the Dursley's house. He often hid in the Little Whinging Library. He would read anything and everything. He'd learned all about coping mechanisms from a book on child psychology he had once read.

A slight smile pulled on his lips. He was very much like Hermione at one time. Although he suspected he would never be that person again. He had tried to commit to his studies at Hogwarts. The beating he had gotten from Vernon after returning from his first year for doing better than Dudley had left its marks. Mostly on his back. But on his mind and heart as well. It didn't matter that he went to a 'freak school' now. Nothing had really changed. He had always been punished at home for doing well at school. And punished at school for not doing well. At least at school his punishments had never been physical. At least mostly. The teachers had changed after Aunt Petunia had 'opened their eyes' to her nephew's 'disturbed nature'.

Harry's musing over his sluggishly bleeding arm was broken when he heard a soft tapping on his window.

Harry glanced over to the window across from his bed and saw Hedwig waiting for him to open the window. He hadn't expected to see her. Harry's heart raced at the thought that something terrible had happened in the week since he had left school. He stood quickly and pushed the window open.

"Shh. Hedwig. I told them I wouldn't have you this summer." Harry whispered as the large snowy owl flew into the room and landed gracefully on his bed. She was carrying a box and what looked like a letter attached at the top.

Harry moved over to Hedwig. She gently nipped his hand but made no noise. Harry firmly believed she understood him. Maybe it was just fear that kept her quiet. The Dursley's had not been kind to her either. Harry's heart twisted at that thought. He had always been kind to animals. The Dursley's were only kind where people might see. Where they might be judged by their actions.

Harry pulled the letter from the top of the box. His heart rate levelled out seeing both his friends hand writing on the letter. It was written with the code they had made for more secure letters. After all the drama last year with Dumbledore not allowing letters. Then Dumbledore had never come up with an they had developed their own.

Harry looked over the letter. Their code was rather complex. However, they had almost a whole year of reading and writing this way. To someone who didn't know how they communicated the message would appear as a random assortment of numbers, letters and symbols. Hermione being very book smart in both the muggle and wizarding world and had come up with many great ideas. Ron had applied his eye for strategy. Harry supposed he was the one to pull it all together. He took the work that both had done and practically wrote a new language that only the three of them would understand.

After the mental decoding the letter read.

Harry,

I wanted to let you know I'm with Ron. There were Death Eaters seen near my house, and it was decided that it might be a good time for me to visit The burrow. My parents are taking an extended vacation.

I miss you already. I know it's only been a week but, now that the potions have worked their way out of my system and I'm mostly healed my head feels a lot clearer. I'm so sorry about Sirius. I know you are blaming yourself. You're probably blaming yourself for us getting hurt too….

The next line was clearly Ron.

Don't do that mate. Hermione says you're blaming yourself. But don't! It wasn't your fault. None of it. None of us blame you. Mom was pretty upset when we got home. Mostly at me for letting Ginny go. But then Ginny got into a row with Mom about how she's old enough to make her own decisions. So I think it will be alright. Things haven't completely blown over but we're alright. And we are all mostly healed now. Also, Ginny is dating Dean Thomas! Can you believe that guy.

Hermione had clearly taken the parchment back at this point. There was a long line of ink running away from the last word, then several splotches of ink.

Don't mind Ron, he has been an annoying prat for the last two days about Ginny and Dean like it's any of his business.

I Hope you're okay with your relatives. Hopefully, Dumbledore will let you join us soon. If not maybe Diagon Alley or will see you on The Hogwarts express.

Hermione and Ron

P.S. The Box is from Fred and George. I'm not sure what it is.

Harry laid the letter down. He was glad that Hermione was safe with Ron. He didn't like that there had been Death Eaters near her home, but it wasn't surprising. Harry knew he was a target and unfortunately everyone around him was too.

The overwhelming swell of guilt lapped at his insides. He needed to move away from all of them. He wasn't sure how he would manage without them. But he couldn't see them hurt again.

Harry took a deep breath and raised his occlumency shield or as he liked to call it his wall of numbness. Shaking his head, he reached for the box.

When he opened it, a smile tugged at his mouth. The box had a featherlight charm and an undetectable extension charm. Inside was much bigger than the small light box would suggest. One side was full of food. Candy, crackers, a package of muggle beef jerky, and some of Molly's hand pies. The other side had bandaging wraps, plasters, and a small rack of potions. Harry reached for the potions. They were all labeled, Pain potion, calming Draught, Dreamless sleep, Skele-gro, stomach soother, Blood replenisher. There was also a small pot of burn salve and one of bruise balm.

Harry really smiled now. He might actually survive the summer, he thought to himself wryly. He grabbed one of the bandage wraps and quickly wrapped his wrist. As he went to drop the rest of the wrap in the box his fingers brushed something at the side of the box.

"Stay safe little brother." Was written on a slip of paper tucked into the side of the box. Harrys face flamed warm with pleasure. The twins had always made him feel like family. Even when he and Ron were fighting. They never let him think he was truly on his own.

Harry quickly closed the box. It wouldn't do him any good if the Dursley's found it. Taking the box, he walked to the end of his bed. He grabbed what looked like thin air and pulled the invisibility cloak off of his trunk. He tapped the top in a pattern to unlock the locking spell and opened the trunk. On top was a couple of books Hermione had given him for 'a bit of light reading' And the defense books Sirius and Remus had given him for Christmas.

Harry shuffled the books over and added the box. Quickly locking his trunk and covering it with his cloak. His wand was tucked in the loose floor board under his bed. He didn't want to have it that far away, but he couldn't risk carrying it around the house. However, he wasn't willing to risk it being taken away if his trunk was discovered.

"Boy! Get down here and get dinner started!" Vernon's voice rang from the bottom of the stairs.

Harry sighed. The day was almost over he kept telling himself. Not that it much mattered. Summer was three months. Twelve weeks and he was only done with the first week.

When Harry made it to the kitchen. Vernon was standing leaned against the counter with a whiskey in his hand. The smell made Harry's stomach roll. His worst childhood memories all seemed to start with that smell.

Harry's head dropped to avoid eye contact with his uncle as he made his way to the fridge to remove the meat and vegetables for dinner. Harry Had the hardest time adjusting to Hogwarts after a summer at the Dursley's. At school the teachers expect eye contact as a sign of respect. However, Harry had been raised with the opposite. His Uncle would even hold him in a near bent position while screaming when he would make eye contact. He knew better. He was meant to keep his eyes down. As Harry grew older, he realized that it gave the appearance of submission. Not dissimilar to the way the house elves would bow.

Harry laid out the food on the counter and went about the kitchen on auto pilot collecting a cutting board, knife, pots and pans. His hands moved on their own as he sliced and diced the vegetables. His right hand shook slightly. Something he had become used to over the last year. Shaking his head, he dumped the vegetables into the pot and went about seasoning and browning the meat. He slipped the Roast into the pot with the veggies and into the oven. Roast was an easy enough meal. He had made his first roast when he was five, he mussed as he began cleaning up.

Harry sighed again as he picked up the cutting board and knife.

Harry's body slammed into the counter. The knife sliding forward in his right hand and slashing into his left arm right through the shirt sleeve. His ribs made a horrid cracking sound and all of the air whooshed out of his lungs. A crushing weight pressed against his back. Leaning over him.

Hot whiskey scented breath brushed past his ear and cheek. Harry bit into his lip to keep from crying out from pain, fear and disgust.

"Keep your sighs to yourself boy." Vernon hissed in his ear, as Harry watched his blood pool on the white counter top.

"We don't have to keep you. Never do anything around here. You ungrateful freak. Might have to find something else for you to do to earn your keep." Vernon whispered harshly on Harry's neck. Harry felt one of Vernon's beefy hands slide down his side.

"Vernon! Dudders wants a ride home from Piers. Can you go fetch him dear?" Aunt Petunia's voice called through from the hall.

Vernon's bulk pulled away from Harry. Harry turned just in time to catch the leering look before Vernon's empty glass landed on the counter. Vernon left the kitchen and a moment later Harry heard the front door close and the sound of Aunt Petunia making her way up the stairs.

Harry's body shook. He felt bile rising in his throat. His heart was pounding, and his ribs throbbed with every beat. His brain felt like it was moving through mud.

Harry closed his eyes. He focused on his mental image of the Forbidden Forest. He walked to a dark hole in the ground. It only existed in his mind. He imagined everything that had just happened falling into the hole. Like a sink hole swallowing up memories. Harry looked up and saw a black dog wandering the nearby trees. At least Harry thought it was a dog, it kind of looked like a black wolf with a few white markings. Harry wasn't sure what the dog represented. It felt like a guardian in his mind. Harry thought maybe his grief wracked brain had made a black dog like Padfoot. But that didn't feel quite right, he would think on it later. With the memory put away Harry took another deep breath. He pushed his numb barrier up and opened his eyes.

"You got your Freak blood on my counters!" Aunt Petunia screeched.

Harry spun around from his slight slump on the counter. The knife and cutting board laying in the puddle of blood on the kitchen counter.

"How dare you!" Petunia screamed. Her hand flying up and slapping Harry hard in the face.

"Clean it up now. With bleach. Don't even bother with the knife and board. I won't ever let that freakishness near my Dudders food. You're just lucky the food is already in the oven. Otherwise, the meal would be a loss and we'd have to go out. I'm sure Vernon would be happy to take the cost out of your hide." Petunia spat.

"Clean it up. Then back to your room. I don't want to see you again tonight." Petunia said over her shoulder as she left the kitchen. She grabbed a bottle of wine on her way out.

Harry cleaned as quickly as he could without bleeding on anything more. When Harry was finished, he trudged up the stairs to his room. He wasn't in there more than five minutes when he heard the locks slide closed. Aunt Petunia had obviously heard him come up the stairs.

Harry quickly bandaged his other wrist and took the blood replenishing potion and a sip of Skele-gro. Two major cuts in one day might be a record. He lay back on the bed, his ribs twinged. He needed rest. He hoped that the Dursley's would let him be for the night. They'd have to clean up their own dinner dishes…Or leave them for Harry to do in the morning. However, he knew Aunt petunia was unlikely to even consider allowing the 'Freak' out again after the crime of bleeding. Harry would hate to point out how many surfaces of the house had likely had his blood on them. Maybe that's what kept the blood wards up Harry thought darkly.

With a long sigh Harry closed his eyes and allowed himself to slip into a restless sleep.

Harry felt his feet pounding into the floor of the Ministry. He was running as fast as he could toward Sirius. The spell was headed straight for him. Harry felt like he was racing the spell, but he never felt like he was getting any closer. He could hear a cacophony of screams and moans and shouted spells and running feet. It was the sound of battle. The spell hit Sirius and he stumbled back and then disappeared. Binding arms closed around him. A voice in his ear is telling him that Sirius fell through the veil. That he is gone. But He didn't, He couldn't have. He needed to get to Sirius.

Everything shifted and he was standing in the graveyard. He was hiding behind a tombstone. In the distance he could see the Mirror of Erised. Reflected in it was the basilisk slithering somewhere behind him. Harry's heart was pounding, he could hear Voldemort's taunts.

"Don't you turn your back on me, Harry Potter! I want you to look at me when I kill you."

There was a strange echo of taunts in the background too.

"I can touch you now."

"Your filthy mudblood mother!"

"I'm going to kill you."

The world shifted again, and Harry was standing in a dark room. His followers stood around him. A man was on his knees in front of him. His long Black hair was matted on one side of his face in blood.

"You're a traitor." Harry's voice spat.

"You told that old fool where to find us. You kept the prophecy from me."

"Crucio"

The man made no noise, but his body convulsed on the ground.

"My…My Lord. I haven't betrayed you" The man gasped.

"I know what you have done Severus. I was in the boy's head. I saw him warn you. I saw you teaching him to close his mind to me. Did you think you would get away with this treachery, Severus?"

"No, My Lord" Severus voice was just above a whisper.

"You're going to die. I'm going to kill you. Slowly. Maybe we should just let you bleed to death? Hm?"

Harry paced the room looking at his followers. The numbers were small. So many had been captured at the Ministry.

"Diffindo. Afflicto. Crucio" Shouted out with just a few flicks of the wand.

Severus screamed as his right arm broke, and a long cut drew across his chest. The Crucio was held for a long moment.

"I think I will enjoy playing with you for a while." Harry let out a cruel high-pitched laugh and cast crucio.

Harry woke up screaming.

No! No! no! His brain began to panic. Harry rolled off his bed shaking. If he had anything in his stomach, he was sure he would be throwing up. Harry could hear the Dursleys opening their door down the hall. Harry hastened to grab his wand from under his bed. Before he could get to it he could hear the locks being unlocked.

He held out his hand and quickly cast.

"Expecto Patronum"

Harry was shocked when it worked. It was the first time he had attempted that spell wandless. He honestly didn't think it was even possible. But there it stood. A silvery wolf? Dog? Harry stared confused at the animal in front of him. He couldn't understand. Where was his stag? How had it changed? He quickly shook his head. He didn't have time to contemplate this right now.

"Voldemort knows about Snape. He's killing him. Get him out. Now!" Harry said in his most confident voice although it still shook.

"Go to Dumbledore." Harry commanded.

Harry watched as his Patronus ran through the wall under his window. Then he spun around just as the door slammed open and Vernon stormed in.

"Waking the whole house with your unholy wailing in the middle of the night. I'll show you!" Vernon yelled.

Harry backed into the wall but there was nowhere to go. Vernon reached out and grabbed him by the hair and threw him to the floor. Vernon's foot stomped on his back several times and then there was swift kick to the side of his head.

Harry felt the world spin for a moment. Harry Hoped this would end quickly. His body was already struggling. He also hoped his uncle wouldn't make good on his lewd threats from earlier. Vernon's speech was a little slurred and despite his precises attacks he seemed unsteady on his feet. All signs that the drink in the kitchen before dinner hadn't been his last.

Harry heard a flutter at the window and Vernon stopped to look up at an owl. Thankfully not Hedwig Harry thought. The owl swooped in and dropped a letter. The letter having landed near Harrys hand sprung up and began to speak. It was similar to his warning last summer about the restriction on the use of underage magic. However, this one didn't come with a threat of expulsion. 'The ministry needs the boy hero on their side' harry thought with a twinge of annoyance.

That thought was only there for a moment before the indignant huff came from above Harrys prone form.

"You're in here doing that freak stuff boy?!" Vernon bellowed.

"What did I tell you when you came back here boy. Any of the freakishness and I would kill you." Vernon seethed as he kicked Harry again.

Harry's thoughts raced. 'To be killed by someone who hates me for trying to save someone else who hates me.' Harry closed his eyes. He didn't care. He didn't want any more pain. He didn't want to keep fighting. He had done everything he could think of to keep people safe, and it had only ended in more death. The emptiness in his chest missing Sirius swelled. The risk to his friends by his very existence felt like a knife. Harry was exhausted.

A loud squawk from the bed drew his attention. Hedwig! No!

"You first, you fucking bird." Vernon yelled as he kicked Harry's head again and then went to turn towards the owl.

Harry felt his emotions and magic well up inside of him. He wouldn't let Hedwig get hurt. Harry threw up his wall of numbness. Wild emotions would not help him now. Even if Vernon still kicked him to death. Harry would make sure his first friend was safe and far away from this hell hole. 'Stop him' Harry's brain screamed as he rolled over and held out his hand stunning his uncle. Vernon fell hard to the floor. Only barely missing crushing Harry.

Harry looked up to see his aunt and cousin standing in the door with shocked looks on their faces. He wondered how long they had been standing there. Had they woken to his screaming from the nightmare. Had they come at the sound of Vernon's shouts? Would they have just stood there while Vernon killed him? His Aunt had never stopped him before. Harry thought quickly as he began to sit up.

"I'm leaving. Stay out of my way and I'll wake him before I leave." Harry barked at his relatives in the door as he slowly and painfully pulled himself to his feet. The world spun around him, and he threw his hand out and grabbed the wobbly desk chair.

Harry took some deep breaths and closed his eyes. He definitely had a concussion. Fabulous.

Opening his eyes, he pinned a quick letter to Hermione.

"Hedwig." He called as he held out his arm.

She flew over and landed on the extended arm. Harry quickly tied the note to her leg.

"Go back to the Burrow. And stay" Harry said with a commanding voice.

He wasn't upset with Hedwig. But He didn't want her here. That's why he had sent her with Hermione in the first place.

Harry quickly folded the letter from Ron and Hermione and the note from Fred and George and stuffed them in the pocket of his jeans. Suddenly, thankful, he had fallen asleep fully dressed.

He scooped up the shredded howler off the floor.

"Incendio" he said and the paper in his palm burst into flames.

Harry hadn't taken anything from his trunk this summer other than his wand. Which, he mildly thought was still under his bed. He had practiced some wandless magic this last year, but it had never been as successful as he had just done. Another thought for after he got the hell out of here. He should start a list he thought with a mirthless laugh.

Harry turned and pulled his rucksack from under his bed and his wand. His wand was quickly shoved in his pocket. He really needed to get a holster. Another thing for the list. Stepping to the end of the bed he whipped the invisibility cloak off of his trunk.

A small gasp sounded from the doorway.

Aunt Petunia was holding one hand over her mouth and Dudley had disappeared.

Harry rolled his eyes. He was over his relatives hate and prejudice and fear over magic. Aunt Petunia had been aware of Magic for twenty plus years. And Harry suspected that Vernon had known for as long as Harry had lived in the house. But maybe even longer.

Harry waved his hand over the trunk and silently shrunk the trunk. He picked it up and dropped it in his bag and slung the bag over his shoulder. And then pulled the cloak over his shoulders. He took one more glance around the room. He refused to call this prison cell 'His room'. It had never been his. No part of this house was his. He had never been welcome here. He had never been at home here. Nothing was left. No sign that he had ever lived here. Just a broken old bed with no pillow and a blanket so thin it might as well not be there. A cupboard with a broken door and a rickety desk and wobbly chair. There was still a collection of Dudley's broken toys on one side but none of it was his.

Harry stepped around his uncle and towards the door. His face was still visible and the front of his clothes. But his arms, back and top of his head were covered by the cloak. And to everyone invisible.

"Don't come back. I don't care what they say. You are not to come back here. You've hurt my family enough." Petunia looked straight into Harry's eyes.

"Fine." Harry said unconcerned. He had no interest in returning. He would not allow Dumbledore to force him back. Harry made a promise to himself in that moment. He would leave the wizarding world before setting foot back into number four.

Harry took a steading breath.

"Enervate" Harry said waving his hand towards Vernon. His arm appeared to appear and then disappeared in thin air.

"Excuse me." Harry said as he went to step past his aunt. She made a disgruntled sound in the back of her throat and moved.

Vernon had started to groan behind him, and he wanted to be out of there before he had another chance to try and kill him tonight. Or something more disturbing. Harry shivered. If no one ever touched any part of him again it would be too soon. He enjoyed or maybe tolerated the occasional hug or bump from his friends. But the feeling always warred with the sick twisting in his gut and the rising panic that lived somewhere in the middle of his mind. Too many unkind hands. Too many hurtful people. He was done with people. He was on his own. And that was for the best. For him and everyone else.

Harry pulled the cloak firmly around him and down over his face. He hoped that if Dumbledore was still having the Order watching the house that it wasn't Mad-Eye tonight. As far as Harry could tell he was the only one who could see him under the cloak.

Harry saw no one. He heard Vernon shout from upstairs and quickly closed the door. He made his way down the walk. He was done with this. He knew he'd have to keep low until September first but he could manage that.

When Harry made it to the end of the block without anyone stopping him, he slipped into a side street. Harry closed his eyes. He slowly cleared his mind. The fact that the concept had escaped him so much last year was confusing. Harry strongly believed that Voldemort's constant stream of wild emotions since his resurrection had been a big part of the problem. Harry moved all the unpleasantness of the day into the forest. Opening his eyes, he concentrated on where he wanted to go and turning on his heel, and dissapparated.