Author note- Song inspiration for this chapter is Changes by Langhorne Slim & the Law
Chapter 16
Changes
Harry woke feeling a little wrung out from his emotional outburst yesterday, but he felt more optimistic. He took a quick shower and bandaged his arm. The wounds weren't deep, but he didn't want them to open and stain his clothing while he worked. He applied some bruise balm to the fading bruise around his eye. He cast a brushing charm on his teeth and gave himself a cheeky grin in the mirror. His dimples shown and his eyes sparkled a little. He was still a little disappointed in the blue color but getting to live mostly as 'just Harry' had felt reassuring. He had always been 'freak' or the 'boy-who-lived.' This kid in the mirror was just a kid. He ran a comb through his wavy hair and finished getting dressed.
He was going to have a good day. He was determined to make it a good day. His life was always so strange, but things had changed. Or maybe he was changing. As upsetting as it was to see his mother's home and learn more about her on his own, he was trying to look at the positives. This was a great town, and his mother was from here. He felt some level of roots growing with that knowledge. He had always felt so ungrounded everywhere. Like he never really belonged anywhere. Some part of him belonged in Cokeworth. That was a comforting thought.
Harry nearly skipped to the diner. He flashed Jane a bright smile and took a seat near Jack like he had the morning he had met the man.
"Good morning, Max." Jane said with a smile, setting a cup of tea in front of him.
"Good morning, Mrs. Willson." Harry beamed.
Jane laughed a soft laugh.
"Just Jane is fine dear. You seem to be in high sprits this morning." She commented as she handed him a menu.
Harry just nodded as he looked over the menu. He didn't have much money left but he could get some toast. It was better than nothing. He hadn't eaten anything all weekend. He'd been too out of it Saturday evening and Sunday he'd just been too upset to even think about food. Even now he didn't feel very hungry. But knew he should eat. This was common for him. He was fairly sure his body had long ago lost the normal ability to feel hunger. He usually knew he'd gone too long when he started feeling weak or dizzy. At school it was easy to avoid that, since meals were on a schedule. Despite Hermione's disapproving looks at how much he ate he was better fed at Hogwarts than anywhere else.
"I'm looking forward to my first day at the grocery store. And just toast for me today ma'am." Harry said, laying the menu down.
"Is that so?" Jack commented from behind his Newspaper.
"Yes, sir. I was wondering though. I know the store opens at eight, but would you mind if I stop by the Book Nook for just a moment before I head over?" Harry inquired. He had thought this through, but he was still uncertain about making such a request.
Jack lowered his paper and raised an eyebrow at Harry.
"I've been helping Mrs. Ash in the morning get in and settled. I don't think she would admit it, but I think she needs the help. I just want to make sure she's in before I start work. I'm expected to return this evening. She had something at home she wanted help with." Harry said, twisting his hands in the hem of the slightly large t-shirt.
Harry kept his head down as he spoke and bit his lip when he finished speaking. There was a pause and then Harry looked up to see if he had said the wrong thing.
Jane and Jack both had soft smiles on their faces.
"Very well, when you finish your breakfast head over. Help Mary get settled and then find me so we can get you started." Jack said, returning to his paper.
Harry smiled. So far, his day was going as planned.
"Here's your toast Hun. Are you sure you don't want anything else? You're pretty scrawny. We need to get some meat on those bones." Jane said sternly.
Harry just smiled. Her tone reminded Harry of Mrs. Weasley. Harry ate his toast but continued to grin slightly.
"Something funny about that?" Jane said putting her hands on her hips. It was so very Mrs. Weasley that Harry laughed a little.
"No, Ma'am. You just reminded me of my best mate's mum. She's always trying to fatten me up." Harry said softly. He missed the Weasley's. Maybe he could go back to Ernie's and send another letter.
"Hm… well sounds like you know the drill. I'll have Tommy make you up some eggs. You've got a full day of work ahead of you. A little bread isn't going to hold you." Jane said as she went to step away.
"No, ma'am. I'm sorry, all I can afford is the toast at the moment. But thank you." Harry said before he could think. Popping the last of the toast in his mouth.
Jack lowered the paper at that and gave Harry a critical look.
Harry blushed under the scrutiny.
"I thought Mary had paid you." Jack said skeptically.
Harry's mind raced. He had spent the money on the cup. Arguably a frivolous purchase compared to feeding himself. But it was…Infiltrated?…Possessed?…Cursed? With Voldemort's magic. He couldn't just leave it sitting in a muggle shop. However, he couldn't explain that to these people.
"She has paid me. If it's all the same, I'd rather not discuss it." Harry said as politely as he could.
Harry stood and pulled a bit of money from his pocket and laid it on the counter.
"I'd better go. Mrs. Ash usually gets there right around eight. I'll be over to the store shortly." Harry said with a slight bow to Jack.
"Thank you, Jane, for the toast. It was delicious." Harry said with a smile, and then made a hasty exit.
Harry made it to the bookstore just as Mrs. Ash came around the corner. He let the awkwardness from the diner melt away and flashed her a bright smile.
"Good morning, Mrs. Ash." Harry said cheerfully.
"Good morning, Max. This is a surprise. I wasn't expecting to see you until this evening." Mrs. Ash said, trying to juggle her purse and pull out her keys.
Harry stepped up like he had been doing most of the last week and took the keys and unlocked the door. It stuck a little and he promised himself he would try and fix it for her, even if it meant a little magic. He walked in and hung the keys behind the counter and started the kettle Mrs. Ash had in the back. He asked if she had any books she needed to sort. When she said she did Harry moved the box to the place she usually sorted. He made her tea then checked the clock. He would still be able to get to the grocery store by eight if he ran.
"Okay, Mrs. Ash, I'll see you this evening. I'm not sure what time Mr. Willson will let me go but I'll head over right away." Harry said with a smile.
Mrs. Ash laughed a little.
"A day off seems to have done you some good kid. I hope you have a good day. Don't let Jack get you down he can be a little stiff." Mrs. Ash replied.
"Yes, Ma'am." Harry said with a little wave and headed across the street.
"Alright Max, tasks are pretty simple. You're going to be stocking shelves. Those boxes there need to be put on the shelves. If you don't know where something goes, ask. If you still can't figure it out, I don't think this arrangement will work." Jack said sternly.
Harry was reminded of a slightly less caustic Snape. Harry was just waiting to be called a dunderhead.
Harry nodded and then thought better of it. Snape always took nodding as rude.
"Yes sir." Harry responded doing his best to make eye contact with the tall man.
Jack gave a curt nod and left Harry too his work.
Harry worked hard for about four hours. He was down to the last box when Jack appeared next to him.
"Mary wasn't just talking you up when she said you work fast." Jack said with an impressed tone.
Harry blushed at the praise and lowered his head. For all his 'Hero status' in the wizarding world he was rarely praised for something he had done. It was always general praise for basically being famous and Harry hated it.
Harry continued to work under Jacks watchful eye as he finished the last box of canned goods.
Jack made a strange sound from somewhere behind him. Harry raised his head and looked back at Jack. He looked amused. Harry felt calmed by that. The sound hadn't been one of displeasure.
"Very good. Well, it's time for your break." Jack said and began to walk away from Harry.
Harry wasn't sure what he was supposed to do. He never got breaks at the Dursley's. He just worked until the work was done. At the bookshop he would politely decline lunch and return to work.
He decided to follow Jack. Perhaps the break would be when he'd be assigned his next task.
Harry raised an eyebrow as he saw jack leave the store. Harry followed cautiously as jack rounded the corner of the store towards the laundry mat. He realized that he had just followed the man without a plan when Jack spotted him just standing there.
Jack was leaning against the building with a cigarette between his lips.
"You smoke?" Jack asked, holding the packet out to Harry.
Harry went to shake his head but instead shrugged his shoulder. He wasn't sure he wanted to pick up such a habit, but this summer was a lot of firsts. He was growing and changing. Trying to feel more comfortable in his own skin. Why not? He thought as he reached out.
Harry pulled a cigarette from the pack and looked at it. He saw Jacks hand come out towards him and flinched away.
Harry blushed as he realized Jack was handing him a lighter. He took it and put the cigarette between his lips. He had no idea what he was doing. However, he was good at adjusting to new situations.
Harry lit the lighter and brought the flame to the cigarette. It didn't seem to want to light. Harry's brows furrowed.
"You need to inhale while you hold the flame to the end." Jack said with a smirk.
"Not sure I should be teaching a kid how to smoke. But then I suppose I was about your age when I started. Don't let my wife know. She thinks I quit this winter." Jack said with a huff of a laugh.
Harry tried again. He felt a tickle at first and then it got worse, and his throat felt like it was burning. He immediately started coughing and his eyes began to water.
Jack laughed a deep rich laugh.
Harry just tried to regulate his breathing.
"It goes down smoother the more you do it." Jack said with a smirk.
Harry raised an eyebrow at that and stared at the cigarette hanging in his hand. He was sure his life could be stranger, but he wasn't sure how. If he'd been asked at the end of the school year what his summer would look like, this wouldn't be it. He would have said something like black and blue, starving, and working himself to the bone. Instead, he was in a little town in the midlands. He had a job. He'd met some really nice people. He'd done most of his summer homework. Now here he was having a smoke with his new boss. After a night of drinking and a full-blown breakdown.
His life was never normal. But this summer had definitely been strange.
He raised the cigarette to his lips and took a smaller inhale. It still burned but Harry was able to avoid coughing this time.
Jack just nodded as Harry blew out the smoke.
Harry took another puff and felt his head get a little light. It wasn't like the buzzy feeling of the firewhiskey, but it did seem to have some kind of calming effect.
Jack and Harry finished their smoke and Harry followed Jack back into the store.
"Alright, well you've done everything I had planned for you today. How about I train you on the register for a while?" Jack said.
Harry nodded and listened as Jack explained.
Harry appreciated that Jack did not stand behind him or loom over him as he learned. Harry felt like he had room to breathe. Maybe Snape could take some lessons from Jack, Harry thought wryly.
Harry was in a good mood as he left the store that evening. He had felt confident enough on the register to ring up a couple of customers on his own while Jack handled a phone call. He had completed the stocking ahead of schedule and he found he liked Jack. He put on a gruff mask but was actually fairly funny. They had gone for another smoke break just before the end of Harry's shift. Jack had pushed the pack into Harry's hand and said not to say anything.
Harry had slipped the pack in his pocket. He didn't think he would smoke them, at least outside of work. Despite the heady feeling he got, his lungs felt like they were on fire. He had even stepped into the restroom at one point and had coughed and coughed so hard he thought he might pass out. He had long suspected he had mild asthma from years of living in a cold, dusty, moldy, cupboard. Plus there was and there was the work and conditions he had been exposed to growing up. He sometimes found himself short of breath walking the stairs of Hogwarts or even playing quidditch. He was sure his ability to hide any personal problem was the only reason Oliver hadn't hauled him before Madam Pomfrey first year.
Harry made his way to the bookshop and smiled at Mrs. Ash and Julie Baker, who seemed to be visiting.
"Hello." Harry said with a little wave.
"Hello Max. I was actually just coming to find you. Could you come over to the shop for a minute." Julie asked.
Harry looked at Mrs. Ash. He didn't know if she was in a hurry or not.
Mrs. Ash just nodded.
"Sure." Harry said with a nod.
"Just head back when you're done. I've a few things to finish here before we go." Mrs. Ash said.
Harry followed Julie next door and up to the counter. The shop had a few animals but mostly it sold food and supplies. Harry could here mice spinning on wheels and smell the wood chips in their enclosure. The sound of bubbling water in tanks with fish and water plants. The store felt almost uncomfortably warm from the heat lamps over the reptiles.
Harry had looked to see if the shop had any snakes but was disappointed to find only small lizards. Probably for the best. He had mixed feelings about his parseltongue abilities. They had come in handy but the stigma in the wizarding world held him back from exploring the ability more. He had thought a lot today about himself. Things he wanted to change. How he wanted to grow. Honestly it was probably a waste of time. He knew he would have to return to being the-boy-who-Lived at the end of the summer. It was a mask though. It was one mostly made by other people. He wanted so much to move away from the labels he had lived his whole life under. He was 'just Harry'. At least for the summer. Maybe 'just Harry' could speak to snakes without it being a sign he was a 'Dark Wizard'.
"I got this for a little boy that lives here in town. But I thought you might like to see." Julie said as she stepped into the back of the shop.
Harry waited patiently by the counter.
When Julie returned from the back Harry couldn't help but smile widely. Cradled in her arms was a puppy. Harry felt his heart sore at the sight. He wondered if she would let him hold it. He had never been allowed to hold or play with a puppy. The neighbors in little Whinging had been poisoned by his relatives to think he was cruel and a troublemaker. That he couldn't be trusted. A woman had once slapped his hand when he had reached out to touch her dog. Dudley was petting the dog and Harry had only wanted to do it too. He thought he was around seven when that had happened. It had reinforced that Harry was not like Dudley. He would not be treated the same. He would not be treated as a normal child. He was a freak.
Harry rubbed his hand as if he could soothe away the long ago hurt of that action.
"Do you want to hold him?" Julie asked.
Harry couldn't force words past the lump in his throat and just nodded. He stepped closer to Julie and the puppy. When Julie extended her arms with the puppy Harry reached out carefully. The little creature squirmed a little in his arms and Harry just beamed down at the warm little fuzz ball. Harry hugged the puppy close to his chest. A surprised giggle came from him as the puppy licked his chin.
"There's a boy, Johnny, that lives a few blocks away. His dog died this last spring and His Father came in last week to inquire about getting a new dog. The boy has apparently just been heartbroken. So, when I heard about a litter a few towns over I got this little guy." Julie said with a bemused smile on her face as she watched Harry and the puppy.
Harry just smiled back at Julie. He didn't know if he had ever felt so happy. He felt this memory could make an incredibly bright Patronus.
Harry sat right down on the floor in the middle of the shop. The puppy yipped at him, and Harry wished he could transform into Akela and play with the puppy. He pet the soft golden fur.
He giggled again as the puppy nipped at his fingers.
Harry heard the chime on the door and looked over his shoulder. Mrs. Ash was standing there with a soft smile on her face.
"Mrs. Baker has a puppy!" Harry cheered with childish glee.
Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Ash both laughed at the exclamation.
"Just Julie, Max. I'd rather not be tied to that pig anymore." Julie said with a huff.
"Yes, Ma'am." Harry said solemnly.
"He's cute right. I think Johnny will enjoy him." Julie said, moving on from her previous statement.
"He's perfect." Harry said smiling down at the puppy again.
"Well Max, I hate to pull you away but we're losing the light." Mrs. Ash said.
Harry nodded and pet the puppy once more. He held it close to his chest as he pulled himself from the floor. He kissed the pup on the head and handed him back to Julie's waiting arms.
"Bye little guy." Harry whispered.
After polite goodbyes Harry followed Mrs. Ash out of the shop and down the sidewalk.
Harry felt like he was floating all the way to Mrs. Ash's house. The feeling began to fade as they reached the gate. Harry hesitated for a moment, feeling his stomach knot with anxiety. He wasn't sure what it was about entering a new house. He just felt wrong. Aunt Petunia had drilled into his head how dirty he was. What a freak he was. No one would ever want someone like him in there home. Harry felt the Weasley's home had been the exception. But Mrs. Ash was not a friend. She was an adult, albeit a kind one. With a deep breath he followed Mrs. Ash up the walk to the front door.
When they got inside Mrs. Ash bustled around flipping on lights. Harry stood by the door waiting for instructions. He wouldn't touch anything until he was told.
"Max dear, would you scoot in the kitchen and start the kettle. It's just through there." Mrs. Ash said over her shoulder as she waved a hand at a door.
Harry steeled himself and pushed the door open. It was a large kitchen. It was painted a light blue and was decorated with a strange assortment of Knik-knacks. Most seemed to be ceramic farm animals. Harry smiled. It felt homey he decided. He was so used to Aunt Petunia's near sterile kitchen. Seeing one that had character was surprising. Harry went to the sink, got soap, and began scrubbing his hands. When they felt clean, he dried them and took another glance around the kitchen. He thought about the Burrow kitchen as he set the kettle on the stove and turned it on. He loved the Burrow. It had been so comforting the first time he had been there. He had instantly fallen in love.
Mrs. Ash bustled in behind him and pulled mugs from a cabinet and set them at the table. The kettle whistled and Harry went about making the tea.
"Come sit. Will have a cuppa and discuss what needs to be done." Mrs. Ash said, taking a seat at the table.
Harry hesitated. His hesitance about sitting on the furniture boiling to the surface. Mrs. Ash had never said anything harsh to Harry. However his conditioning from the Dursley's was hard to break he was finding.
"It won't bite. I keep the biting seats in the attic." Mrs. Ash joked.
Harry let out a nervous laugh. He was sure such things could exist in the magical world. He looked to Mrs. Ash and watched for any negative reaction as he took his seat. He sat close to the edge and didn't touch the table or the cup sitting in front of him.
Mrs. Ash smiled then she became serious.
"Now we need to clear something up first and I expect an honest answer. I won't stand lying in my house. I had a visit from Jane Willson today. She was concerned about you not having enough money to eat. She was concerned I had shorted you for pay. I know I paid you two days ago. So, I want to know why you ate nothing but toast for breakfast. Then told Jane it was all you could afford. I told her to mind her business and I'd deal with it. Don't need that nosey busy body in your business but I won't have people thinking I'm not paying you a fare wage." Mrs. Ash said sternly.
Harry gulped. He hadn't thought it to be that big of a deal what he ate. He had not intended the money thing to get back to Mrs. Ash. She had been more then generous, and Harry intended to pay her back when he got access to his vault.
"You were very generous with your pay ma'am. I did not intend for my spending to reflect poorly on you." Harry murmured.
Mrs. Ash made a sound between a scoff and a hum.
"Don't get me wrong. Jane is a sweet woman but she's nosy." Mrs. Ash said, taking another sip of her tea.
"I'm going to be frank with you Max. Did you use the money I gave you to buy drugs? Or pay off some kind of debt?" Mrs. Ash deadpanned.
Harry felt his brain freeze. NO! his brain shouted.
Harry shook his head vigorously. His eyes went wide with panic.
"No, Mrs. Ash. I'm not like that. I swear to you." Harry said in a rush.
Mrs. Ash just raised an eyebrow at Harry's proclamation.
Harry sighed and dropped his head into his hands. This was a mess. How could he explain buying the cup. He couldn't be honest it would expose the wizarding world. Maybe if he told a story close to the truth, she would believe him. He had never had a problem with lying to hide the wizarding world.
Harry sighed again and looked up to Mrs. Ash.
"I bought something from the antique store." Harry admitted.
Mrs. Ash face had gone from disbelieving to surprised rather quickly.
"How does a boy your age end up in that old dust bin?" Mrs. Ash inquired.
Okay so far so good. Harry thought.
"After you paid me, I got some laundry started but I hadn't seen much of town, so I thought I'd walk around. I popped into lots of the stores. I just wanted to look." Harry replied. He balled his hands to keep them from fidgeting.
Mrs. Ash nodded for him to continue.
Harry sighed. He didn't like lying to people, but this was important. He needed to buy the cup. But he also couldn't afford to lose work because they thought he was on drugs.
"When I went to the shop I had just intended to look around. I was incredibly grateful for the overly generous pay you gave me. I hadn't intended to spend it so frivolously." Harry said honestly.
"And what was it you couldn't live without?" Mrs. Ash asked.
Harry cleared his throat, thinking about how true that might be. He still hadn't figured out what exactly it was, but it was wrong. The aura on the locket and cup was wrong.
"It was a cup ma'am. It's a style I think my grandfather will be extremely interested in having." Harry said.
Harry felt something slimy coil in his stomach at referring to Dumbledore as his 'grandfather' but saying an 'old wizard I know' was out of the question. Harry even conceded that in his early years at Hogwarts he had viewed Dumbledore as somewhat of a grandfatherly figure. It wasn't until he realized his single-mindedness about defeating Voldemort and his manipulations of others to that end, that his view changed.
"You're grandfather?" Mrs. Ash questioned.
"Yes ma'am. I didn't know him growing up. I've only gotten to know him in the last few years. He has taken an interest in my education, and I wanted to get something to thank him." Harry answered as best as he could.
"Hm. And this grandfather couldn't take you in this summer?" Mrs. Ash questioned.
"No, Ma'am. He's…He's in a private facility I wouldn't be able to stay with him." Harry replied.
"I see. Is he unwell?" Mrs. Ash asked, pouring a second cup of tea.
Harry had noticed as he told his story that Mrs. Ash had relaxed. She no longer seemed ready to throw him out on his ear.
"No, ma'am. He's just very old." Harry responded.
It was true. He didn't know exactly how old Dumbledore was, but he was by far the oldest person Harry had ever met. It wasn't the reason he was in the 'Private facility,' but the answers seemed to work.
"I see. Well young man I don't like that you went and spent money on something like that, when you need to be thinking of your own needs. Though I suppose I understand. I once bought my Arthur a watch I couldn't really afford. I just knew it would be something he would love." Mrs. Ash said a little lost in thought.
Harry nodded.
"Very well, If you are still interested in doing some work for me…"Mrs. Ash trailed off until Harry nodded and then she continued.
"You will come here every evening after Jack lets you go and work until supper. Then we will eat together before you head back. You're a growing boy and can't be expected to work on an empty stomach." Mrs. Ash said sternly.
Harry went to protest but was stopped by a raise of Mrs. Ash's hand.
"I won't hear any protest. Now, it's coming on supper time. I haven't much energy left for today so will just do sandwiches and some crisps." Mrs. Ash said, standing up from the table.
Harry jumped up at the same time. He was met with a questioning look.
"I…I can cook ma'am. I don't mind. Especially if you intend to feed me, I would be happy to cook." Harry said.
Harry felt weird about excepting food, but he did enjoy cooking. Maybe he could earn his food that way. He had always earned his keep before so this would be nothing new.
"That's sweet dear. But not tonight. Perhaps I'll get a bit of meat tomorrow and have you start something when you get here that can slow cook. It would be nice to come home to a warm meal." Mrs. Ash said as she fussed in the fridge and retrieved sandwich makings.
Harry's brain tried to process what Mrs. Ash had said. Did she want him to come here without her? He would need more clarification of what she expected. He also still needed to know exactly what it was he was doing workwise.
Mrs. Ash sat two plates on the table and tucked into her sandwich. Harry hesitated but his hunger pushed away any second guessing.
They ate in silence. When they were finished Harry made them each a fresh cup of tea.
"Now then. The house needs similar work to what you did in the shop. A general clean and tidy. I won't be closing the shop early to come watch you clean. I'm going to trust you. Don't let that trust be misplaced." Mrs. Ash said in a no-nonsense tone.
"Yes, Mrs. Ash." Harry agreed.
"Mary will be fine when we are in my home." Mary said dismissively.
Harry nodded.
"I will give you my spare key. I expect you not to lose it. You're more than welcome to help yourself to something to eat or drink. Just don't leave a mess. God knows Jack won't offer you anything to eat while your over working at the Grocery. A smoke perhaps. Honestly, the man must live on nothing but diner breakfast, cigarettes, and coffee. Don't think I didn't notice the package in your pocket young man." Mary chided.
Harry blushed.
"None of my business, but you won't be lighting up in my house. I won't have it. There will be no nips out of my liquor cabinet either." Mary said sternly.
"Of course not, Mrs.…Mary." Harry said stumbling over his words.
"Now then. I will endeavor to close the shop at seven and we will eat when I get home. When the general tiding is complete, I have a few projects that I think you might have the skills to complete. You'll stay out of my room. It's the first one at the top of the staircase. Past that I will trust you not to go through my things." Mary said firmly.
"Yes, ma'am." Harry agreed. He knew better then to snoop in someone's home. Aunt Petunia had caught Harry snooping in Dudley's room once. He'd gone several days without a meal. He'd also had a sore shoulder from where she had grabbed him and dragged his small five-year-old body through the house. He thought his shoulder may have even been dislocated.
"Very well. I will see you tomorrow evening. Get back safely." Mary said as she collected there plates. Harry wanted to offer to do the washing up, but he was also being given the out to leave.
"Yes, Ma'am. Thank you for the meal. Have a good night." Harry said softly.
He walked quietly through the house and out the door.
Harry walked back to the Sundown in good spirits. Today had been a good day. He had done decent work at the grocery store. He'd been given more work to do for Mary and secured meals for a while.
Harry smiled as he remembered the best part of his day. The puppy at the pet shop.
Harry entered his room and quickly showered.
He settled on his bed with his schoolbooks and got to work on his summer homework. He had been making progress slowly over the week. He thought it might be some of his best work. Far superior to his usual summer assignments that he completed on the train to school.
He felt full. His stomach was full of simple but tasty food. His heart was full of the kindness he had been shown for just being himself in the small town. His mind felt full of all the things he was learning as he poured over his books. It was a good and comfortable feeling.