Authors note- Hey guys! I just wanted to say a big thank you to everyone that has been reading and reviewing.
So, this story was originally going to be 30 chapters. *Laughs in basic story planning* For those keeping track we are about one month into a three-month summer. I have no idea how long this story will be. I know all the main points but sometimes the ideas run away from me. I'm sorry the posting has been a little more spaced out. I just kind of set an unrealistic pace. I'm planning to post about once a week. Hopefully more but I think that's probably more realistic. This story will end at the end of summer. However I have already storyboarded a sequel, that will cover 6th year. So this story is far from over. Okay enough rambling. Hope you enjoy the new chapter. Let me know what you think.:)
Chapter 30
Losing Trust
Harry stood before his followers. He felt the rage boiling in his veins. They had another spy amongst them. The Potter boy had been moved. Raids had been stopped. Two of his followers had been captured and his attempt to free those imprisoned in Azkaban had been thwarted.
His red eyes looked around at the hooded figures circled around him. Who was it? Crabbe? McNair? Carrow? Malfoy? Lestrange?
One of them was helping that old fool.
"One of you has betrayed me." Harry growled, as he stepped around the circle. Nagini stalked amongst them.
"Tassste there fear. Who has betrayed ussss?" Harry hissed in parseltongue to his familiar.
Voldemort stepped in front of Bellatrix.
"If you have betrayed me, I will rip you apart." Harry whispered into her ear.
He'd enjoyed the feeling of a body under his again. Though perhaps he had allowed this trollop too much freedom.
"Never My Lord." Bellatrix simpered.
Harry grit his teeth.
"Crucio." He cast and Bellatrix fell at his feet.
"Now would be the time to speak up." Harry shouted.
Harry stalked closer to the Malfoy family at the far end of the room. He had plans for the boy. One way or another he would be taking his pound of flesh from the boy. His father's disgraceful behavior at the Ministry and his godfathers' cowardice could not go unpunished.
"What about you, young man?" Harry cooed running his long fingers into the white, blond hair gently. He gripped tightly and dragged the sniveling brat to the middle of the room by his hair.
The boy gasped but did not cry out as he was thrown to the floor.
"No, My Lord." Draco said shakily.
Harry believed him. This whimpering child hadn't left the manor in a month. Harry sneered down at him.
"Stand." Harry barked.
The boy got to his feet. He looked ashen and afraid. Hopefully, his fear would keep him in line.
"I've got a little treat for us tonight." Harry announced.
Waving his wand, the doors at the end of the room opened. A bound woman floated to the center of the room.
"Our guest this evening is Charity Burbage. The current Muggle Studies teacher at Hogwarts." Harry spat.
The gathered crowd jeered.
Harry smiled cruelly.
"Her misguided views of muggles needs to be stopped from spreading amongst our children." Harry informed.
"Kill her Draco." Harry instructed.
He watched the cowardly boy flinch.
"Wha…What?" Draco whispered. Looking from the scum hanging in front of him to Harry.
"Practice Draco. I've given you a task to complete. Consider this practice." Harry whispered into Draco's ear. He stood so close behind him, that he could smell the expensive cologne and fearful sweat on the boy.
The boy's fear was deliciously palpable.
"Do it!" Harry screamed at Draco.
Draco pulled his wand and held it up. His hand shook.
"Please Draco. Don't do this." Charity begged, looking Draco in the eye.
Harry sent a cutting curse over Draco's shoulder striking the woman in the arm.
"Silence." Harry hissed.
"Perhaps young Draco would prefer to see her torn apart." Harry laughed sending another cutting curse.
The boy stood frozen staring at the woman hanging in front of him. He was weak.
"Shall we show him how things will be when he starts going on raids?" Harry asked, holding his arms out and turning to look at his followers.
His followers laughed along.
Harry watched as curse after curse landed on the disgusting body in front of him. The puddle of blood grew larger on the floor.
"Finish her off." Harry growled at Draco.
The boy didn't move at all.
Harry scoffed.
"Crucio." Harry yelled and the boy fell to the floor in a writhing crying mass.
Harry sneered down at the boy. He lifted the curse and stepped over him.
"Nagini, kill." Harry hissed in Parseltongue.
His familiar slithered past the boy's head and lunged.
Severus awoke to a loud thump and a blood curdling scream. He shot straight out of bed, wand in hand. His heart was pounding. It took him a moment to realize the sound had come from across the hall. He strode to his door and threw it open.
Severus checked the hall and when it appeared to be empty, he took two long strides to Potters door. With a steadying breath he grabbed the doorknob and pushed the door open.
What met his eyes was not what he'd expected. There were no intruders and Potter was not being tortured as he'd expected by the scream he'd heard.
The boy was curled into a tight ball on the floor with his back to the bed. Half the bedding was also on the floor. It appeared he had fallen out of bed.
Severus sighed.
He flipped on the light then lowered his wand.
Severus saw Potters wide tear-filled eyes meet his.
Perhaps he'd had a nightmare. Severus felt slightly unsure of himself. He'd put scared first years back to bed before, though he typically left that to the prefects. Potter wasn't a first year though, he was nearly sixteen.
Severus sighed. A scared child was a scared child. Their age made little difference.
Severus tucked his wand away and stepped closer to Potter. He didn't want to frighten him more than he already was. He knelt to one knee in front of him to keep himself from looming over the boy.
"Potter." Severus called quietly.
The boy was still looking at him, but he seemed lost.
Severus reached out a tentative hand. He had reservations about touching Potter, he didn't want to scare him, and he still felt guilty about having hurt him.
He laid a hand on Potters shoulder. Although he could feel the muscles tense under his hand, Potter did not flinch away.
"Potter." Severus called again.
The boy blinked at him and then a fresh wave of tears cascaded down his face.
"They killed her." Potter said in a horse whisper.
Alarm bells started going off in Severus' head. Killed who? His mind spun and he realized the boy must have had a vision. Severus wanted to groan. God only knew what the boy had seen.
"Who?" Severus whispered.
The boy bit his lip and blinked away his tears.
"Professor Burbage." Potter whispered.
Severus' mind raced. He'd seen Charity only hours ago at the Order meeting. Albus had instructed the teachers to stay in the castle. Why would she have left? Severus himself should be the only staff member not at the castle.
"Are you sure?" Severus asked shakily.
Severus felt the boy shoulder make a small shrugging motion under his hand.
"He…He wanted Malfoy to kill her." Potter said quietly.
Albus would not be pleased to learn his new spy had killed one of his teachers. Severus opened his mouth to ask more questions when the boy spoke again.
"He couldn't do it. He was too afraid. The Death Eaters started cursing her. She was bleeding so much." Potter whispered and then cut himself off with a sob.
Severus moved his thumb a little on the boy's shoulder hoping to comfort the child. No one should see what he had seen. The boy's story was starting to confuse him though. Lucius had switched sides but surely, he wasn't afraid. Severus had seen him kill before.
"Voldemort wanted him to be the last to curse her…to kill her. When he wouldn't…" Potter cut himself off. He shook his head as more tears ran down his face.
"What happened?" Severus asked softly.
"He cast crucio on Malfoy. Then he set Nagini on Professor Burbage." Potter choaked out.
Severus closed his eyes. If the Dark Lord had set his snake on Charity she was certainly dead.
Lucius would survive one round of crucio. He'd been exposed to it plenty. Would the Dark Lord stop there though for such disobedience?
"Was Lucius alright?" Severus asked shakily.
He still wasn't sure how to feel about the Malfoys. They had been friends at one point. Close friends even, but with all the shifting alliances he wasn't sure where they stood now.
The boy got a pinched look on his face. He shook his head and looked Severus in the eye.
"Draco, not Lucius." Potter said.
Severus felt his heart skip a beat. The Dark Lord had wanted Draco to kill. He knew about the plan to kill Dumbledore but this…
Severus closed his eyes again.
"I…I think he's alright." Potter whispered.
Severus looked back to Potter with a grim expression. He hoped the boy was right.
"He thinks there's another spy." Potter said softly.
Severus thought about that. They did have another spy. He didn't dare confirm that to Potter though. If the Dark Lord still had access to the boy's mind, He wouldn't tell him anything.
Harry sat and watched his professor. The range of emotions flitting across his face. He was scared. Harry knew Draco was his godson. Despite not having a good relationship with the pointy faced git, he hoped he was all right. They were children that had been born in one war only to come of age in the next. They were children. Their place wasn't in this war.
Harry noticed Snapes hand was still on his shoulder. His thumb was moving rhythmically back and forth. Harry knew he was too dirty to touch. He should pull away. But it was grounding and soothing. For just a moment he didn't want to feel alone. He didn't want to be left alone with his thoughts. He just wanted to enjoy this small moment of comfort. Even if it was strange coming from Snape.
"Who does he suspect?" Snape finally asked.
Harry thought for a moment. Did he know? Had he seen anything?
"Everyone, I think. Plans have fallen through and he's sure there's a spy. He cursed Bellatrix and then drag Draco into the middle of the circle." Harry explained with a sniffle.
He watched the professor's face again. Looking for anything. He knew he was being kept in the dark again. He didn't think the connection worked the way everyone seemed to think it did. Especially now that he had shields in place. His mind always felt like it was being pulled into Voldemort's. Not that Voldemort was in his mind. The things he saw were from the man's point of view. Or sometimes Nagini's. When he'd been at the Ministry, Voldemort had been in his mind. Possessing him, going through his thoughts and memories. This wasn't the same.
Snape seemed to be thinking.
Harry for the first time since they'd been sitting there on the floor really took in the man's appearance. His hair was in disarray. Unlike its frequently greasy appearance it looked fluffy and tangled.
Harry was surprised to notice he wasn't wearing black. He was wearing blue pajamas. They were simple and had no pattern. But they look soft and comfortable. He also noticed that the Professors feet were bare. They were long and slim like his hands. It seemed to be an over all theme with the man. Like he'd been stretched out as a teen and then never fully filled in.
Harry noticed a few dark freckles on his feet. He wondered if his professor had gone barefoot much as a child. It was such a strange thought. His mind seemed to be jumping all over the place.
Harry wasn't sure why, but he almost laughed. Nothing about this moment was funny, but seeing his professor like this made him seem…Human? Normal? Harry wasn't sure.
Harry felt the hand on his shoulder tighten reassuringly before it pulled away. Snape stood then.
"Get dressed. We need to speak with Albus." Snape said as he left the room, pulling the door closed behind him.
Harry fell in a heap in the headmaster's office.
"Harry?" Dumbledore called.
Harry looked up just as the floo flared and Snape stepped out, tripping over Harry's legs.
Harry heard the man grumble and then a hand was in his face. He flinched a little and then realized Snape was offering him a hand up.
He reached out a little shakily and took the man's hand. He felt himself pulled to his feet, then the hand was gone.
Snape had dressed in his full 'bat costume.' The Long robes billowed around him as he made his way to the headmaster's desk. Harry hesitantly followed. He always felt underdressed in this office. It was so lavish, and Dumbledore always wore such excentric robes. Harry was currently wearing a long sleeve red shirt and jeans that had holes in both knees.
"What has happened?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry wondered if the old man ever slept. It was nearly two in the morning, and he was still dressed in robes and had clearly been working at his desk.
"Have any of the professors left the castle?" Snape asked sharply.
Dumbledore looked a little grey and then nodded.
"Several returned home to collect their belongings. Many of them had not planned to stay in the castle this summer." Dumbledore informed him.
Snape sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
Harry felt his heart sink. His vision had been true. He hadn't doubted it, but this felt like conformation.
"Potter had a vision this evening. It appears Charity has been captured and killed." Snape said gravely.
Harry wondered how close all the professors actually were. He'd never given it much thought. Some seemed to get along okay, but he hadn't considered that they all lived here just as long each year as the students.
Harry felt a surprising jolt of sympathy for Snape. For all Harry knew he'd just informed the man his best friend was likely dead.
Harry swallowed hard and focused on the conversation in front of him.
"I will call a staff meeting." Dumbledore said wearily.
Harry stood awkwardly waiting to find out what he was supposed to do.
"Take a seat Potter." Snape said a little harshly.
Harry nodded and looked around. He'd never noticed just how many seats there really were in the office. Perhaps more had been moved in to accommodate the Order meetings that were now being held here.
Harry just picked the seat he was closest to, in order to not further upset Snape. He perched on the edge feeling uncomfortable as always. He felt tense all over, like at a moments notice he may need to spring into action.
Harry noticed that his side was aching again and figured the pain potion had probably worn off. He was also fairly sure he'd landed on that side when he'd fallen out of the bed.
Harry folded his hands between his slightly bouncing knees and stared at the floor. Hadn't today been long enough? He thought to himself again.
Slowly the Professors began to arrive. The office slowly filled, and Harry felt his anxiety rise. The room felt too warm and too crowded.
Harry felt like he was having a tough time breathing. He flinched as a hand landed on his shoulder.
He looked up to find Snape looking down at him. Snapes face was blank, but the hand was strangely reassuring.
Harry nodded and cleared his mind. He pulled up the wall and felt calmer. Snape squeezed his shoulder before walking away.
"If I could have everyone's attention." Dumbledore said to the room.
The room became silent.
"Has anyone seen or heard from Charity since the Order meeting?" Dumbledore asked.
There were murmurs but no one spoke up. Harry looked around and saw the concerned looks on the teachers' faces.
Dumbledore sighed.
"I believe she may have been captured this evening by Death Eaters. We don't know her status…" Dumbledore started to say before Harry interrupted.
"She's dead." Harry said in a harsh whisper.
There were hushed whispers around the room and Dumbledore gave him a disapproving look.
Harry was done with Dumbledore's lies. Harry was the one having these visions, not Dumbledore. He didn't get to decide what information was shared about them.
"How do you know?" Flitwick asked curiously.
Harry thought for a moment about how to explain. He bit his lip and then looked at the professors that were now all focused on him.
"Voldemort and I have some kind of connection. I sometimes get visions of what he is doing. This evening, I…I saw Professor Burbage." Harry said firmly. He looked around at the shocked looks on his teachers faces.
"Are you sure she's dead?" Sprout asked through tears.
Harry nodded firmly. If the Snake hadn't finished her off, she would be dead by now from blood loss. There was no way that she was still alive.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Harry said earnestly looking Sprout in the eye and then meeting the eyes of several of his other professors including Snape.
A tense hush fell over the room.
Harry wasn't sure where his boldness had come from. He did know that Dumbledore wasn't going to get anywhere with half answers. He might even be putting people in danger if they attempted a rescue. These were the people who were fighting against Voldemort and the Death Eaters. What was the point of lying to them? Voldemort knew he saw visions, why keep it from there side?
"I would ask that none of you leave the castle. If it is necessary, please take someone with you. I will inform the rest of the Order." Dumbledore said wearily.
With that the teachers started to file back out of the room. Harry could hear sniffles and murmured words of comfort. He just stared at his clasped hands. It felt a little overwhelming to deliver that news. To tell people that someone they knew had died. The broken looks on there faces. He hoped he wouldn't be put in that situation again.
Harry sighed softly. He was sure Dumbledore was about to lecture him in his 'disappointed grandfather' tone. Harry frankly couldn't bring himself to care if he had disappointed the headmaster. Harry was pretty disappointed in Dumbledore at the moment, if he was being honest.
Harry hadn't been allowed to join meetings before. However, if this is the type of half answers the Order usually worked with, it was no wonder things were going so poorly.
When the door closed, he found himself in the office with only Snape and Dumbledore.
"Harry, my boy, why would you share that with everyone. There could be severe consequences." Dumbledore chided from his place behind his desk.
Harry felt a little of his anger at the headmaster rise.
"How is that? Voldemort knows. What's the risk now of the Order knowing?" Harry asked with a challenging tone.
He met Dumbledore's gaze.
Harry was alarmed to feel a brush of Legilimens on his wall. Harry glared and then looked away. Pulling the wall fully up.
"And what will the Order think of you? You do remember how things were in your second year. The fear and anger of your classmates. Do you really want to go through that with the Order? Exposing this connection with Voldemort could cause that." Dumbledore said in a harsher tone.
Harry felt his cheeks flush. He hadn't thought of how the Order might view it. Did he care what they thought of him? He was a worthless freak. He'd already been exposed in other ways, what was one more.
Did he want to be pushed away?
Yes, he decided. For their safety. He'd run away this summer for that exact reason. If this was the wedge, then so be it. He could still pass on information they needed if he had any, while still being able to maintain distance from them.
And why was Dumbledore worrying about him, now?
Dumbledore had never cared before how people treated Harry or what they said about him.
Harry nodded to himself in thought. He didn't care anymore. People were going to think what they wanted about him. They always had.
"I don't care. They had a right to know she's dead." Harry said firmly.
Dumbledore made a disgruntled noise and Harry chanced a quick glance before looking back at his hands.
Snape cleared his throat and stepped closer to him. Harry was still looking at the ground, so he only saw Snapes boots and the hems of his robes. Some how today had started to shift there dynamic. Harry wasn't sure how to feel about it. Perhaps as the professor said they could just have a civil summer.
"Come along Potter. There's nothing else we can do here." Snape said.
Harry nodded and stood.
"Good night, Professor." Harry said as he made his way past Dumbledore's desk.
Harry grabbed some floo powder from the pot near the fireplace and threw it in.
"Spinner's end." Harry said and stepped into the green flames.
"The Dark Lord was trying to force Draco to kill her." Severus whispered worriedly.
"Did Draco kill her?" Albus asked, looking at Severus with deep concern.
Severus shook his head.
"No. Potter's explanation was that he was afraid. Nagini Killed Charity." Severus said softly.
Albus nodded and sighed.
"Will get him out as soon as we can Severus." Albus reassured.
Severus nodded to Albus and followed Potter through the floo. When he arrived back at his home, he found Potter standing near the couch. Severus took in his appearance. The boy's hair was its normal bird's nest. He wondered why Potter hadn't done something with it when he had metamorphmagus abilities. The boy's clothing was horrid. The long sleeve red shirt hung halfway down Potters thighs. The muggle jeans had holes and were covered in stains.
Severus began to wonder if the boy did own anything better. Had Petunia really not given the boy anything but rags to wear? Why hadn't Potter used the money in his vault to buy something more presentable though?
Severus realized the boy wasn't wearing his glasses. He'd notice Potter wasn't wearing them when he'd been in the middle of the training room either.
"Where are your glasses, Potter?" Severus asked.
Potter shrugged.
"I don't know, Sir. My…the guest room I guess." Potter muttered.
Severus felt exhausted. This day had been a lot. Now it was the middle of the night, and he didn't think he'd be able to get back to sleep.
"Let's have some tea." Severus said curtly.
Severus strode to the kitchen and started the kettle. He should try and get Potter to eat something. The boy had gone to bed without dinner.
Potter was standing in that weird pose again near the door. Was it something he was told to do? Or was it something he had just started doing on his own? Either way it made Severus terribly uncomfortable.
"Sit Potter." Severus said over his shoulder as he made the tea. He made calming tea for himself and regular black tea for Potter. Although the boy looked like he could use some calming tea. He wouldn't force it though.
Once they were seated with their mugs the silence grew thicker in the room. Severus had so many thoughts swirling in his head he wasn't even sure where to start. What he would have seen as arrogance the day before from the boy, had actually been an impressive stand against the headmaster.
Potter had spoken the truth. There wasn't much point in hiding this from the Order anymore.
Severus looked over at the boy and noticed his right hand was wrapped in bandages. What had happened there?
"What did you do to your hand Potter." Severus asked neutrally.
Potter looked at his hand and just shrugged.
"Nothing sir." Potter muttered.
Severus felt frustrated. He'd told the boy to avoid hurting himself when he'd sent him back to the room of requirements earlier. He hadn't noticed Potter's hand when they had come home, but he'd clearly done something to it. Not that he was surprised. He wondered if he had burned himself. He hadn't given the boy burn balm earlier. He hadn't thought he'd needed it.
Severus sighed. He was not meant to be a guardian like this. Head of house he could manage. Yet, somehow one abused teen in his own home was proving to be too much.
"Umm." Potter muttered, twisting his hands in his lap.
Severus raised an eyebrow at the boy. Was Potter willingly going to speak to him?
"I'm really sorry about what happened to Professor Burbage…And I'm…I'm sorry about what happened to you. I…I should have tried harder." Potter whispered shakily. His eyes had been down, but he'd slowly looked up and made eye contact.
Severus could see his walls were down and how honest he was being. He looked so broken. Severus' heart hurt looking at this child who seemed to think he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
Severus looked away from the boy. It wasn't his fault. Severus was a little alarmed to feel tears stinging the back of his eyes. He cleared his throat and looked back at Potter.
"I appreciate your condolences. Charity…Professor Burbage deserved better. She will be missed." Severus said as neutrally as he could.
Charity had been a friend. She was kind and funny and although they rarely spent time together, they frequently shared little sarcastic remarks after staff meetings. She always remembered him at Christmas. And she had been an excellent teacher, even working with an outdated curriculum that the board refused to update.
Severus cleared his throat again.
"As for my abrupt exit from spy duties, it's hardly your fault. You could not have been expected to do better when I…I did not oversee your lessons properly. I apologize for that. I should have managed the situation differently. Thank you for sending your patronus. I would not have survived had you not." Severus said earnestly. He felt strange apologizing to Potter of all people.
However, Potter did not deserve to carry guilt for something for which he was not responsible. The boy should not have run off to the Ministry, but Severus was starting to understand why he had. He clearly didn't trust the adults around him. Severus could admit that even the teachers had let him down more than once and he doubted he had a full picture there either.
Clearly Black meant a lot to him. Given the recent revelations about Potters home life he could see why. He'd been trying to save himself as much as Black.
Potter blushed and looked back down at his hands.
"I broke the rules. I'm still not sure what will happen with that. I…I just couldn't let you die." Potter mumbled.
"I'm glad you're alive." Potter said looking Severus in the eye.
Severus felt his breath catch. Without his glasses, his eyes were so much more like Lily's. His heart hurt looking at them. He missed her so much.
Severus looked away.
"How would you have done it? If you didn't hate me, how would you have taught me Occlumency." Potter asked quietly.
Severus felt another stab to his heart. He didn't hate the child. He…He didn't know how he felt about him. He conceded though; he had never treated him with anything but distain. How could the boy be expected to think anything but that he was hated.
Severus cleared his mind and took a sip of his tea.
"We would have built a foundation of trust. I would have taught you meditation techniques. Then when you had successfully cleared your mind, I would have instructed you on choosing types of barriers. I would have entered your mind and shown you how to separate memories and emotions. Then we would have assessed the strength of the walls. Followed by random attacks in your day-to-day life to make sure you were maintaining some level of barriers." Severus said neutrally.
Potter's brows furrowed in what looked like deep thought. Then he nodded.
"For the record I do not hate you." Severus said softly.
Potter cocked his head and raised an eyebrow. It may have been the most skeptical look he'd ever seen on the boy.
He couldn't blame him. Given their history, it probably sounded like a lie.
"I'd like to teach my friends." Potter finally said.
It was Severus turn to look skeptical. He had no doubt that Ms. Granger could likely learn just about anything, she set her mind too. Mr. Weasley, he had his doubts. And Potter as a teacher. The idea was ridiculous. Although with all that he'd learned today perhaps it wasn't.
"If I may ask, why?" Severus asked curiously. This was the most he and the boy had ever civilly said to one another. Perhaps there was hope of mending fences. Perhaps he would be able to help the boy more then he'd originally thought. He still maintained that he would not force the boy to talk to him.
Potter bit his lip and then tentatively reached out for the mug of tea in front of him. His eyes flicked to Severus. It was strange behavior. Was the boy looking for permission? Why would Severus make him tea if he didn't intend for him to drink it?
Severus kept his face neutral and nodded.
Potter picked up the cup and Severus noticed the same paranoid behavior as the last time. He stared into the cup and then smelt it. When he seemed satisfied that it was just tea he took a sip. A small smile creased the corner of his mouth and then he took a larger drink of tea. He cradled the warm mug in his hands and looked back at Severus.
"I don't trust the headmaster." Potter deadpanned.
Severus was surprised by the answer. He'd expected something along the lines of wanting to keep them safe from the Dark Lord or the Death Eaters. Why was he trying to protect them from Albus? Then he thought about what had been discussed with Lupin and Black. Was this about Albus roll in his abuse?
"Because he placed you with your relatives?" Severus asked cautiously.
The range of emotions that flashed across the boy's face was a little alarming. Then the wall was back, and the boy looked hollow again.
"Never mind Professor. I should probably go to bed." Potter said flatly and sat the previously enjoyed mug of tea on the table like it was something dangerous.
Well fuck. Severus thought. He'd only hoped to better understand. He hadn't meant to make the boy uncomfortable.
"Albus is not the enemy. You need not fear him." Severus said trying to salvage the situation before Potter completely shut him out.
Potter gave him another skeptical look.
"What do you know about what I've been through at Hogwarts, Professor?" Potter asked almost challengingly.
Severus was a little surprised. He thought about all the trouble the boy had gotten into over the years. Though in truth he supposed Albus had been a little tight lipped about a lot of it. Was Albus hiding things? Had more happened then he'd let on?
"I am aware of some of your misadventures." Severus said noncommittally.
Potter pursed his lips angerly and looked away.
"I have nearly died at that school every year that I have been a student. Some years I've had more than one near death experience." Potter said firmly, still not looking at Severus.
Severus was aware that things had been grave a few times. He'd saved the boy himself a number of times. Surely Potter was exaggerating how frequently these incidents happened.
"I don't think Dumbledore is the enemy. I…I just don't think he can see what his lack of action does." Potter said, turning back to Severus. His eyes seemed to be willing Severus to understand.
Severus did understand. His recent meeting with Albus and Minerva had been about this exact matter. Albus thought he could do everything, but he was realizing he was wrong.
Severus rubbed his temples. This was a heavy conversation to have in the middle of the night.
"The headmaster has also realized his failings. He is working to improve." Severus tried to defend.
Potter raised an eyebrow.
"Is he? Half an hour ago he didn't want to tell the rest of the professors that Burbage was dead, just that she was captured. Perhaps it's my Gryffindor foolishness but if I thought I could save a friend from Death Eaters I would try. He left them with hope, left them thinking there was a chance. There wasn't, she was dead. I knew it, you knew it, and he knew it. Yet, He didn't want to tell them. He was keeping it to himself. That puts other people at risk.
When I spoke up, he disapproved. Even though these are my visions and my life, not his. Why should he be the one to decide what information I share and with whom? Then he tried to invade my mind himself. How can I trust a man like that? He left Sirius to rot in Grimmauld for a year. Not to mention the over a decade that he sat in Azkaban an innocent man, all the while Dumbledore was chief warlock." Potter said with a strange calm passion.
Severus sat back in his chair. The boy was right. Albus was still trying to meddle and manipulate. He trusted Albus, but it was becoming quite a strained trust.
"I trust Dumbledore wants to end Voldemort. I do. I do not trust that he will do what he can to keep the people on his side alive in his pursuit to bring Voldemort down. I won't see my friends die because of the headmaster's carelessness." Potter said with conviction.
Potter had given him a lot to think about. He didn't want to think poorly of Albus, but the man may have become a little too single minded. He wasn't seeing the fall out around him. Although perhaps he was starting to.
Severus decided he would speak with Minerva. This incident was evidence enough that even if the headmaster was unprepared to share his information, he would need to start relying on them as council sooner than the fall term.
Severus watched as potter took his nearly full mug to the sink and dumped out the tea. He scrubbed it clean, dried it, and put it away. He watched the boy flit around for a moment. Nervous energy seemed to radiate off him. Severus wondered how he had never noticed it before.
When he seemed to run out of things to clean on the counter he turned back to Severus.
"Sorry for speaking so boldly about the headmaster. It's just been a long day I guess." Potter muttered and ran his hand through his hair.
Severus agreed, today had been a long one. He didn't feel the boy had said anything disrespectful. Just expressed his point of view of the headmaster. A rather accurate one to be honest.
"It has been a long day. Do you think you will be able to get back to sleep?" Severus asked, noticing that it was nearly five in the morning now.
The boy shrugged and then shook his head.
Severus didn't think he'd be sleeping anymore either.
"Perhaps just a rest then. Your injuries won't heal if you aren't giving your body the rest it needs. You are still on restriction this weekend. Although Madam Pomfrey made it quite clear you need to be resting." Severus said.
The boy blushed a little and looked away from Severus. He wondered if the reaction was from being reminded, he was in trouble or about his time in the hospital wing.
"I think we could both use a quiet weekend. I intend to do some reading and brewing. I expect you to keep yourself entertained. You are not to leave the house." Severus explained.
Potter nodded.
"Yes, Sir." Potter answered.
"Very well." Severus said.
He watched Potter exit the room and hoped that this conversation might help him build a foundation with the boy. As much as he wanted to hand the boy off to Black, part of him wanted to help him. In these situations, with his snakes, he usually already had a foundation in place. Monthly meetings with each of them and spending time in the common room. He and Potter were not starting on square one. They were somewhere still in the negatives.
Perhaps he could leave it to Black and Lupin. Although who knew how long it would be before they would be able to take the boy. For now, he was going to make some coffee and enjoy a book. When the sun was up properly perhaps, he would venture to town and have a conversation with Mary.
Severus' mind drifted to the other boy that had been effected by this evening. He hoped Draco was all right. He wished he could do more for his godson.
Draco paced back and forth in his dark bedroom. He'd been asleep when Rabastan had ripped him out of bed and told him to get dressed. He'd dressed as quickly as he could. He'd found himself in what used to be the formal dining room surrounded by Death Eaters. He felt on edge as he felt the enormous snake slither past his leg.
The Dark Lord had wanted him to kill a professor. His mind had just frozen. He didn't want to kill anyone.
He had looked up to his father and godfather his whole life. He had heard the stories from the first war, and he agreed with what he had been told about the differences between Wixen and Muggles. He knew war would come with death but not by his own hand. How could his father stand by this mad man?
His body shook as he paced. His mother had slipped him a potion when she'd walked him back to his room. It had helped but he still felt bloody awful. He understood more each day why his godfather had switched sides.
Draco had felt so angry and betrayed when he'd learned of Severus duplicity. He felt like he had been lied to his whole life. Like he had never known the man at all. Now he was starting to understand.
The Dark Lord had taken over their home, their money, their lives. He treated them horribly and still expected loyalty. Draco had had enough. He wished he could reach out to his friends. To his godfather. Anyone at this point. He just wanted out of here. His parents seemed content to bow and scrape in front of this psychopath, but Draco would not. He'd run away if he had to.
He knew he'd be allowed to return to Hogwarts in the fall. He was expected to kill the headmaster. What a joke. How was he supposed to kill him. The man was Albus Dumbledore, for Merlin's sake!
Draco ran his shaking hands through his messy hair. He looked nothing like himself right now. He'd lost weight to the stress of living in this house. He had dark circles under his eyes because he never slept. He was too afraid of what was happening in his house. His complexion had turned ashen from all the hours hid away in this dark house.
The Dark Lord had taken the room directly above his. The disgusting sounds that came from that room made him sick. Draco felt his stomach roll. He wanted to retch. He hated his aunt as much as he hated the Dark Lord. He didn't know how he'd been so easily taken in when he was younger. These people were insane. He still didn't want to be around muggles or mudbloods but surely it must be better than this Hell, he'd found himself in.
Draco sighed.
Despite many of his friend's parents following the Dark Lord, he seemed to be the only one that had been forced to start attending meetings. He would do what he could when he returned to school to warn them away. This is not what they thought it was. He would start with the ones that had neutral families. He was well liked in Slytherin, perhaps he could convince them to switch sides… or at least not join these maniacs.
He didn't dare send them a message now. It would put them all in danger.
He would have to wait. He wondered how Severus was. He knew that he'd survived. The story of his rescue had been unbelievable. He wondered if Severus was in the castle, tucked safely away in the dungeons.
Draco longed to be there too.
He pulled his journal from under his pillow and waved his wand over it. He'd found a spell that kept it locked and disguised from anyone but him. He kept his most private thoughts in there. Which had increasingly turned away from his father's views this summer.
Draco didn't dare question his parents. He knew they loved him but what would they do if he told them he didn't want to be marked? Didn't want to be a Death Eater? Didn't want to kill Dumbledore?
Father had always talked about loyalty to the family. Draco wondered if his mother and fathers' family loyalty outweighed their loyalty to the Dark Lord. He no longer trusted that they would choose him over all else, as he once had.
Draco sighed and opened his journal.
His hand shakily took the quill from his side table and began to write about what had happened. He kept an eye on the door to his room. He could hear people walking in the halls. The Manor always felt full these days. There was never a quiet moment anymore. It made him feel on edge. Even at Hogwarts he could feel mostly calm in the Slytherin common room and dorms. Masks could come down and they could just be themselves. He now felt like he was always waiting for the door to fly open and to be hauled off to witness or partake in the next horrible thing happening inside his home.
He had nearly finished writing when he heard walking above him.
There was a loud slap and the sound of someone falling to the ground.
He couldn't make out his aunts simpering words, or the Dark Lords hissed response, but he could hear the creak of bed springs above him.
Draco gagged and cast the strongest silencing spells he could around his bed.
He scratched one last line in his journal.
'I want out of this Hell.'
Then closed and locked it, shoving it back under his pillow.
Draco lay back on his bed. He was still in the clothes he'd been in hours ago. He was sure there was splattered blood on them. She had been right in front of him as they had cast on her. Her body had been mere inches from his as the snake had attacked. He'd been laying in agonizing pain. Twitching and crying as the snake had struck her over and over.
He closed his eyes and shook his head.
When his body stopped shaking from the curse and the potion had worked through his body he would shower. He would have the elves clean his bedding and his clothing. He wanted to have them burned but he knew that would be unwise. They were similar to his father's Death Eater robes. They had been a 'gift' from his aunt when he had returned home this summer.
Draco closed his eyes and hoped this would end soon.