Chapter 19 – Far Away From Home (1:15-16)

Author's Note: This is the point where everything… blows up. As we all already know.

~ Rivana Rita

I slash through the last droid, and Omega fires a shot through it with her bow. I roll off, standing, panting a little, but despite the tenseness, I haven't felt so – so happy . We're here, and maybe this is where we need to do it – to get Crosshair back, and…

I take off down the tilted part of the floor, skidding a bit. It's fun, and maybe I'm a bit high on something right now, but I still feel oddly euphoric.

Our brothers are standing, and Hunter raises his blaster towards Crosshair – the fact that they're both standing I take to be a good sign. Crosshair's back is facing him, and he's rubbing his forehead. Don't know if that's from his chip, or if Hunter hit him that hard when he threw him off.

I wince a little at that thought. I've seen my brothers fight before, but they've never hurt each other. I can't really imagine what that'd feel like for Crosshair. Hunter's always taken care of us, and he'll understand it – I do, and did when Omega threw my knife at me – but it still hurt. I've never talked about it, though.

"Hey," I chirp when no one says anything. "Everyone okay?"

Crosshair turns around, hands tightening over his rifle when he sees us. Echo has his blaster raised, though not aimed, and Tech and Wrecker have their own weapons out. Omega does too, though her energy bow isn't powered up.

What? Am I the only idiot who doesn't have my weapons out still? I'm holding my knife, but who even cares about that? And, hey, is no one going to answer me?

Crosshair looks different now. I don't know. Darker. Emptier. Thinner . And he has a scar on his head that somehow looks worse than Wrecker's. It's much deeper, like something burned nearly down to the bone and it never quite healed. … And I miss his hair. What? It was kinda pretty.

"Crosshair, forget the Empire," Hunter requests, half begging. "This isn't you. It's your inhibitor chip. We can help you."

No, he is begging – this is as close to it as Hunter would ever get . We need his consent, his agreement to carry this out so he won't get someone hurt or killed. Hunter told me that, but I don't quite know how to go about convincing him. Nothing they would've said could have stopped me .

"Wrong," Crosshair says finally, turning a little sideways, and there's something assessing about his expression that I do not like. I've never seen that expression on him before, and it looks so jarringly wrong , but it's what I'd think is him just testing out our reactions. "I had my chip removed. A long time ago."

I can't breathe. I can't anything .

I can't see Hunter's face, but the smokey-forest-y-ness of his presence just freezes . All of us do.

Wrecker and Tech jerk back simultaneously, and Wrecker looks back at Tech like he's somehow supposed to fix this . Tech just deflates altogether, and the sharp-smooth-ness of his presence just… freezes, icing over, dying, like I'd have thought it would if someone got their heart ripped out.

I think it just was.

"Since when?" Hunter breathes out, and he sounds so lost and broken and I don't know, scared, that it just – I'd think it'd make me feel something.

It doesn't.

I feel like throwing up. That's the only thing I can feel.

This is Crosshair, and – and –

"Does it matter?" Crosshair snips back as if he didn't just try to cut Hunter's throat fifteen minutes ago.

"Yes ," Hunter snarls, and I can feel the heat of his glare even if I can't see it. I don't know how he can calm himself so fast.

I can't feel anything . I want to scream, but if I did, I doubt I'd ever stop. I could scream until my throat is raw and I can't anything, and it doesn't matter because this is Crosshair and he just – he – what –

"This is who I am."

I see Hunter's grip on his blaster tighten, and I don't even care.

Wonder if I'd feel my vibroblade if it stabbed into what I think my heart is. Kinda feels like it did. Don't know if I can feel anything.

Crosshair jerks his rifle upwards and Hunter stuns him before he can try to kill us again.

I would've done anything for him. To get him back. I wouldn't have been afraid to die trying. Wouldn't even have cared to. I missed him. Cried for him.

And Crosshair? He just wants us dead.

The clatter next to me sounds distant. I hardly hear it until I realize a distant oh, that's my knife . Yeah, that's right.

Omega runs to Hunter's side, throwing her arms around his waist. He looks slightly caught off-guard, but I think he'd react if he weren't still holding his knife and a blaster I'm pretty sure is Crosshair's – he dropped his own on Daro.

Echo's hand lands on my shoulder, squeezing lightly. I still don't feel it. Don't know what to think about the fact that he came over to me. Not like I'm the one who was captured.

"Sorry, Omega. I know I promised you'd never have to come back here," Hunter says, but his words feel far, far away.

"You did the same for Vision and me," Omega replies, stepping back.

Hunter spins his knife around, sheathing it, and holsters his blaster before stepping forward and kneeling next to Crosshair. I can't understand why. Don't know why he'd want to touch him, period. Hunter turns his head to the side a little, touching his head where I think his scar is.

"Vision," Echo says, shaking me a little, crouching to pick up my knife.

My hand is shaking so badly I can hardly hold it enough to take it from him, but I somehow manage to sheath it without literally gutting myself.

I wish I could read Hunter's expression, could know what he's thinking, but I can't.

I just feel sick.

"Hunter, three Venators are descending on the city. We need to leave, now," Tech interjects sharply, stepping forwards.

Hunter clenches his jaw, grabbing Crosshair's rifle and pulling his backpack off. "Wrecker, grab Crosshair," he orders, standing, "He's coming with us."

"Then we'll find a way to get him back ," Omega had said ages ago. I asked for the same, but I don't know why he's willing to listen. I don't want to be near him. Don't want to think about this, period.

Hunter turns to Omega, who nods to him. I think she's thinking about the same moment as I am. Don't really know. He turns to me, and I can't read his face. The only person's I can is Tech, and he looks as closed up and dead as me. Maybe we're more alike than I thought.

"Vision," he says, still far away. "Come on." The others are heading for the door. Omega grabs my hand, and hers is burning in mine, but I don't pull away.

We run for the door, taking down the halls of the facility. Somehow, somewhere deep inside, I know this will be the end, the last time I see it.

We're in the halls when it starts. The facility trembles and the lights flicker. We skid to a stop momentarily before Hunter directs us to the lifts. Omega's clinging to me, and she looks terrified. I have the sense that I should help, but I don't know how .

When we finally make it outside, everything is burning. The walkway connecting this facility to the next, to Nala Se's lab where we need to be is burning. Blue laser bolts are raining down from the sky with deafening explosions. The air is thick and dark with smoke, mingling with the never-ending humidity of Kamino.

The same thing I've seen nearly every single night since Order 66.

"Back inside! Go!" Hunter yells, and the others are already making for cover.

I grab Omega's hand, instinctively yanking her back and pulling her back inside. We need to find cover, and fast , before the Empire kills all of us here.

Everything is happening so fast after that. There's no real way to find cover with laser fire raining through the ceiling all around us. The ground is shaking violently enough that we can hardly stand, much less move, and the number of times we keep getting knocked over is insane. I think Crosshair woke up somewhere on the way, but I really have no idea. Debris is falling, and everything is sparking and dark .

I'm scrambling for cover, trying to stick close to Hunter because he's safe , but then a door slams shut between us and Omega, and the last thing I hear is her yelling for Hunter before everything goes dark.

I'm dragged awake a bit later, hearing my sister's panicked voice yelling through my comm. "Living," I rasp, pushing myself up. I'm exhausted though. And cold. And once I remember what just happened, I kind of wish I didn't wake up at all.

"Are you okay?" Hunter asks worriedly.

"Not really," Omega replies, and she sounds close to tears, "The room is flooding. And Crosshair's stuck"

The – oh, that's right. She was cut off from us, and apparently, so was Crosshair. That's certainly not ideal. I don't want him anywhere near her, especially not when I'm not there, too.

"Get the door open, Tech," Hunter orders, and our brothers are scrambling to their feet.

"All compromised compartments are sealed to contain the flooding. I cannot override the protocols from here," he objects.

"I can," Wrecker volunteers, stabbing his vibroblade through the door. It's something, but the room's flooding, and I have no idea if it'll be enough. The situation is – tense in there, and the faster we go, the better. My worry only skyrockets when I see how much water is spurting through the crack in the door. There's no way to seal off the opening, not when we're underwater on the Kaminoan ocean. There's an endless supply of water here, and I almost can't believe this just happened.

The Empire destroyed our home. Shot us out of the sky into the ocean floor. They're trying to kill us.

They failed, but I think Crosshair succeeded. A part of me died here, and I won't be getting it back.

Tech steps forward to try to help get the door open, but that doesn't make it go a whole lot faster than it has. I back up from the water that's sloshing around my boots now, biting my lip.

The door finally opens briefly with a torrent of water, and Wrecker catches Omega, shoving her into Echo's arms before moving to reseal the door. Crosshair crashes onto the floor, but I don't care to watch. Don't want to see him.

Omega's coughing, and I squeeze her shoulder when Echo sets her down.

"What have you done?" Crosshair snarls, standing.

I perk up instantly, stalking forward. "You're the one who brought us here, you idiot," I hiss back.

"The Empire opened fire on the city," Hunter retaliates shortly, "We weren't gonna leave you behind." He must've figured out what was happening from the start between my dreams and the lack of people.

Crosshair actually has the audacity to look surprised by that.

"Maybe we should, though," I supply.

Crosshair is glaring at me sharply enough that I'm certain he's going to try strangling me, and I don't even care. Wouldn't ask anyone to stop him, because if I screwed up so fundamentally that he'd even want to hurt me, I'd deserve it.

I just don't understand .

"We don't have time for this," Tech interjects, and he sounds… annoyed. Angry, maybe. I can't tell. "We need to get topside before this entire structure submerges."

Fair, but I don't want to wait until later. What if he tries to kill us? He could. At any given moment. He's been trying all this time. Not gonna randomly stop now.

"If you want to stay here and die, that's your call," Hunter tells him before turning and taking off down the hall. How he manages to sound so calm right now, I have no idea, even if there's an underlying note of hurt and fury in his tone.

I'm not sure I could say anything short of violence right now.

His words still freeze something inside me over a little, because this is the first real moment I realize that Crosshair's not one of us , that he left us and he's not our responsibility, that we can't take care of him anymore, not when he's – he's – stars, this is so, so wrong .

Wrecker shoves past him to take off after Hunter, and I don't feel any sympathy for that. don't feel anything at all.

I glare at Crosshair, and the flicker of hurt I see on his face just makes me even angrier. After everything he's done to us , he has no right to expect us to be any different. The others are already moving, so I take off without looking back, even if it hurts an unreasonable amount to do so.

There are explosions ringing out in the distance, but we can't break our pace.

I wish there was more fire. There always is in my dreams, but now? All I see is water. I never associated water with destruction, but here we are. This is Kamino, an ever-standing city on a water planet, that's – being drowned . Or something . The floor is still shaking, and all we can do is try to keep moving for as hard as it is.

We're in what used to be a hall now, and it looks so different without the lights it takes a while for me to realize this is where the clones are made.

Omega spent so much time here.

She breaks off from the rest of us, turning to the window. I follow, hand clenching over the flashlight I'm holding and reaching for her free hand.

Outside, a piece of debris falls onto one of the cylinders, crushing it, and the rest are already rapidly being submerged in water.

It makes me want to throw up, but actually, I already do , so it's probably nothing to do with seeing our home being destroyed. "'mega, c'mon," I beg, tugging her hand. We need to move, and I understand how overwhelming this must be for her, but I know when to focus. We need to go. "Us getting outta here is more important."

"Come on, Omega. We have to go," Wrecker says, appearing on her other side.

I tug her away from the window and we take off down the hall, though we don't get much farther before – sure enough – everything starts tilting again.

"Hold onto something!" Hunter yells.

"There's not even anything to hold on to !" I yell, heart hammering, but I dive for the wall, anyway. Everything is falling and twisting and cold and my hands are flailing to grab onto just – anything before plummeting into the dark ocean depths below.

There – okay, there is a handhold I can get on one of the ledges on the walls. There's a lot of jolting around and yowling on a bunch of people's parts – that includes AZI, of course – before we finally get jerked sideways again and thrown to the floor.

We are also probably completely submerged underwater now.

Omega pushes herself up the moment she hits the floor.

Hunter sorta twitches weirdly, just… I don't know, but it freaks me out. I push myself up, half stumbling, half crawling towards him. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be fine," he answers almost automatically. I don't believe it. Hunter shines his flashlight down on AZI who landed in front of him, and Omega scrambles over, turning the droid on again.

"Omega! Omega, watch out!" AZI shrieks, whirring to life and upright, flailing. "– oh, you are okay."

The others are standing – Hunter's still moving slow.

And a little jerkily, but with Crosshair here, I don't blame him for not wanting to admit if he's hurt. We don't have time to worry about it, even if I am worried.

Wrecker's on his feet last, rubbing his head, and I take off over to him to grab his hand. We've been falling for a while now, and I know how much he hates heights.

"I guess we've been dunked underwater now?" I ask, looking around. It's somehow even darker than it was earlier. It's pitch black like we're at ocean depths now. We probably are. Aren't going to stop falling until we reach it.

"That is correct," Tech replies, and I nearly faint, "I believe we have landed on the ocean floor. There is no way to accurately calculate the damage. Most of the facility must be –" There's an explosion and something in the ceiling ruptures. Water starts pouring through – it's not a large leak, but at the rate it's coming, we need to move. "Compromised."

"We need to get to a space that's more secure," Hunter says in the background as I approach the water. Something's important about it, and the splashing of water on the floor is pulling me under, into Seeing something. I drop to a crouch, touching it. It's just ocean water – not poisonous, but there's…

I'm falling and it's dark, so dark, and everything is cold. Icy. It's soaking into me, and I can't feel, and it's just dark dark dark and I can't breathe .

"I can't see them." Echo.

"I'm going in," I hear an echo of Hunter's voice from far away, followed by the very familiar click of a rifle .

I jerk awake, struggling to breathe. Omega grabs my shoulder – I know it's her automatically, because I See something vaguely flowery and it's too small to be anyone else. Hunter's on my other side, and I reach out blindly, grabbing for his hand. He takes it, squeezing mine tightly.

"What was that?" he asks.

Water. Too much water, like this hall's about to get flooded and whatever happens after, except I'm stuck inside. "I think…" Actually, I know what that feeling means, and it doesn't sound so bad. "I think I'm gonna – never mind." It's too weird to say.

"Is it… something we should know about?" Hunter asks quietly.

I should tell them. They deserve to know. Just don't know how.

"Oh, well, yeah." I blink a few times. "I think I'm about to die." Everyone is staring at me. Kinda glad I can't see their faces. "Don't worry," I add a little breathlessly, rocking back to my feet and brushing my pant legs off. "I'm sure I'd find a way back to life just to spite him." I jab a thumb in Crosshair's direction. Everyone's still staring. No one says anything. The water pouring in through the ceiling is picking up. "What?" I ask, throwing my hands up when no one moves. "It's fine. It's okay, really. We knew that could happen. Not so bad."

I should probably be afraid. I should probably want to cry, to be in shock or something, but the thought itself is so ludicrous I just want to laugh. I could probably laugh until I cry, because there's something about that positively hilarious and I cannot for the life of me say what.

"Maybe I'm overreacting. No idea. Maybe… I've seen things past this. And can everybody stop staring at me? Let's get going. Come on." I take off down the hall, and I hear the others moving after me, though I pause anyway, just to make sure we're all here.

That seems to have spurred everyone into motion, except Crosshair who's still lingering behind, and Omega, who's stopped to look back at him.

"Come on," I whine, spreading my hands, "Omega, we gotta go. Crosshair, I couldn't've just shorted out your motion circuits. You don't care about me that much."

"I'm not a droid," he growls at me. He sounds grumpy. Ohhh, typical. No sympathy from me.

"You're getting stuck in your programming like one." He doesn't move. I roll my eyes frustratedly. "Look, I might want to beat you up still, but I don't want you to drown. Or die. Or whatever. Can we move?" I take a few steps back, and he's just glaring, but we really don't have time for a staring match, so I grab my sister's hand and pull her off down the hall.

I hear Crosshair following once we reach the end of the hall.

We came here for Hunter, and if something happens to us, he's going to blame himself. I need to make sure he understands that. I take off to the front to Hunter, throwing a few glances at him as we go. I need to tell him – just don't know when. Why not just blurt it out, I suppose? "Hunter," I supply, touching his forearm, head tilting back to look up at him, holding his gaze through his dark visor. He pauses, glancing down at me. "I know none of us want to think about it, but I want to say if – if something happens, don't blame yourself. There is no way I would rather die than for you. You deserve it. As much as any of us."

"Nothing's going to happen to you," he promises, touching my shoulder and guiding me along after Tech.

"I know. I just… this is all so…" I don't even know how to say it.

I've tried to talk to him about it once before, but I'm not sure it really made sense to either of us. I don't think he understands that any more than I understand when he told me he doesn't want me to endanger myself for 'mega. As if that's not the only thing in life I've ever had to do.

No one says anything, though I can feel Wrecker's worried eyes on me. Like anything any of us could do might actually help something, anyway.

"Ironically, our old barracks is one of the few compartments habitable, albeit temporarily," Tech supplies, entering what was once upon a time the barracks we shared. It's so jarring to see it again. It hurts even more.

The floor is tilted at an angle which makes walking difficult. Crosshair is in the back, and Hunter – as he has been this entire time – is right in front of him, pointedly keeping himself between Crosshair and the rest of us. I try not to think about that.

"This is our room?!" Wrecker exclaims. "What happened to it?!"

"At least the smell's gone," Echo grumbles, which helps nothing. It looks so wrong in here, I wish I never saw it again. Are the… engravings still here? On Crosshair's bunk? I almost don't want to know.

"Check it out. Our board's still here," Wrecker announces gleefully.

Hunter pauses by it briefly before going farther inside.

My gut flips, and I want to cry.

"All those missions together and you threw it away," Crosshair growls, because, of course , he has to interject with something overwhelmingly snide, as if anyone even wants to hear his opinion right now.

Hunter whirls back to face him. "We made a choice," he throws back sharply, jabbing a finger at him, "And so did you." I don't need the reminder.

"Soldiers follow orders," Crosshair accuses.

I stalk up to him, glaring. "Sir, rules were made to be broken."

Crosshair glares right back, but I stand my ground, no matter how much uncomfortableness is churning in my gut. "Nothing is made to be broken."

"Ration bars," Omega pipes up, popping up next to me. Thank the stars she still has a snippy sense of humor like me. "When you have to share."

"Because Wrecker stole your food," I quip.

"Battle droids," Tech offers without looking our direction.

"Explosives," Wrecker volunteers.

"Rules ," I crow, spreading my hands in a way that I know is going to annoy him to death.

I'm pretty sure he's a few seconds short of strangling me.

"Blind allegiance makes you a pawn," Hunter tells him, wisely opting to ignore the entire whole conversation. "A real leader protects his squad."

"Look where that's gotten you," Crosshair snarls back, stalking down the stairs, "They're all going to die here because of your failed leadership."

A flash of my vision flickers through my mind again, and I bite my lip. Crosshair knows that. He's using that on Hunter. So predictable. I shouldn't have said anything.

"No, we're not," Omega calls, looking out the window, flashlight aimed at something. "Look. We landed on the underwater tunnel. If we use it to reach the base post, we could get back to the Marauder ."

I throw a glance out the window, spotting what she's talking about before moving across the room to Crosshair's bunk. The hearts are still there. I wish I hadn't looked. They feel like a mockery of what was.

"Accessing the tube will be… challenging," Tech warns.

"Better than staying here," Echo points out.

"We have to try," Omega agrees. She sounds so cheerful. I don't know how she does it. I can't keep ahold of myself to save anybody's life, much less everyone's.

Crosshair approaches them from behind, and Echo shines his flashlight at him. I have no sympathy. " She's calling the shots now?" he asks snidely.

"You have a better idea?" Hunter snaps back, shoving past him. Crosshair glares after him, and I bite my lip. This is the first time Hunter's actually started reacting to him. The entire situation is wearing on him, on all of us, but it's just getting worse. Wrecker looks almost hurt, as lost as I feel seeing them fight, and trails Hunter. Tech throws Crosshair a brief glance before moving on.

I trace my fingers over the engravings, blinking at the tears in my eyes, not bothering to wipe the wetness from my cheeks – it's dark, and they shouldn't be able to see, anyway. I genuinely don't care if he can see me crying. Not like it'd bother him, anyway. I jump off his bunk, glancing up at him.

I remember how much I've missed him when I did that. How I thought something would happen to him. That he'd be hurt. That I'd lose him. Now, he's the one who's chosen all of that.

Crosshair looks back. I know he caught where my attention was focused. That he saw.

"I would rather die fighting for who I love," I tell him, nodding to where Hunter and the others went, "Than live fighting for something I don't believe in."

Crosshair's still watching me when I finally turn away. I really have nothing more to say to him.

Final Notes: Reviews are always appreciated! ^-^

Come hang out on Discord (delete spaces), discord . gg / nqSxuz2 or find us on tumblr at fanfictasia (our more serious blog which does have controversial posts on it; I won't be offended if you choose to block it, promise), and disastertriowriting (which is our fun blog with crack posts or incorrect SW quotes)

We've got a YT channel for tributes! (delete the spaces) youtube channel / UC_g1M5rSCxJUzQCRS29B6pA

ALSO: We have SW gift request forms for General, Anakin-Clones-centric, and Bad Batch fics. :D (delete spaces) bit . ly / CourtesyTrefflinFicRequests