AN: After a little bit of a hiatus, I'm back to posting! It feels good to start reclaiming my life, so I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it!
Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
It was the most mundane of things that brought Hermione joy, and the most mundane of things which brought Hermione irritation.
When she'd first married Severus, her most ardent hope was that they could find some way to coexist without too much drama. If they could go a week without screaming at each other, she would consider him a better partner than Ron ever was. Perhaps those standards were low, but Ron had taught her not to expect too much out of her partner, lest all her hopes be dashed.
This didn't mean she didn't know what kind of husband she wanted. All her life, she had yearned for an equal partner who respected her, who would listen to her, and who understood that while she was not perfect, she would do her best to make him and their children happy. If he was a loving father and attentive husband, she would consider herself the luckiest woman in the world.
Much to Hermione's relief, Severus was this man and more. Instead of shouting at her, Severus discussed his issues with her. He ensured that Hermione always felt secure in his devotion to her and the children. Even in her wildest dreams, she couldn't have imagined a man who would love and protect her children more than Severus Snape did. For the most part, they were best friends who saw eye to eye on the most important issues.
Until it came to cleaning the dishes and putting his socks in the hamper.
Severus hated doing the dishes, something he'd made clear from the moment they wed. Yes, he could do the dishes. Living alone for decades had taught him the need to do them, despite his disdain for the chore. When Hermione was in the throes of morning sickness and pregnancy aches, he did the dishes without complaint, or at least was discreet about having the house elves do them for him. There were a few arguments over who would do the chore, but most of the time these were resolved without much issue.
The socks remained an ongoing source of contention.
Although Severus was excellent about putting his other clothes in the hamper, he struggled to do so with his socks. Somehow, they wound up everywhere except where she needed them to be. For years, no decades, she had asked him to put his socks in the hamper the second he took them off.
Yet even after all these years, the socks never made it there.
The first time socks were an issue was when Rose was two, and Victor was one. They were prancing across their grandparents' sitting room, showing off their Halloween costumes. Rose was in a white lab coat with black, thick, fake glasses in her right pocket. Over her pocket was the word, "Scientist." Victor followed behind her, dressed as a smiling jack o lantern. Both insisted they were the scariest children anyone has ever seen. Hermione and Severus didn't dare tell them they were the two cutest children they'd ever seen.
"Sit still so I can take another picture of you," Muriel held up a muggle camera, her smile wider than Hermione had ever seen.
"Okay Grandma," Rose grinned.
"Ay Amma," Victor burst out giggling.
"Get closer to your sister," Wilford motioned for Victor to move closer to Rose.
He turned to Rose for guidance. She motioned for him to get closer. After taking a few uneasy steps, he was standing beside his sister.
From behind her parents, Hermione wiped a tear from her eyes. "They are growing up too fast."
"Agreed," Severus choked.
The children gave their grandparents the biggest grins they could.
"They are the two most adorable children I've ever seen too," Hermione gushed.
"They are when they're asleep anyway," Severus answered.
She glanced at him with a frown.
"Fine, they are adorable most of the time," Severus' eyes were misting. "I could not have asked for two better children."
"Indeed," Hermione beamed as Muriel took a picture of her grandchildren.
"I just hope they don't get these costumes dirty from eating Grandma's famous, 'pig brains,'" Severus muttered.
"Oh Love," Hermione chuckled. "It's just spaghetti and meatballs with a special Italian sauce. I'm sure the children will do just fine keeping their costumes clean. If they get them messy, I suppose they can always say it's blood. That should add to the spooky effect they're going for."
"Or we can do laundry tomorrow before the Malfoys' Halloween party," he noted. "We'll need to do laundry soon anyway."
"What do you mean, 'we need to do laundry soon anyway?'" Hermione raised an eyebrow. "I did it four days ago."
"Yes, but one of us needs to do it again."
"Why?"
"I'm running out of socks."
"What?" She hissed
"I am running out of socks," he answered as casually as if he was discussing his latest potions theory.
"How could you be running out of socks? I just did laundry. You should have plenty of socks for the rest of the week."
"Perhaps they go lost in the machine."
"No, I always double check the machine before I put things away. There were no socks in there the last time I looked."
"Then they must be somewhere else."
"Where could they have gone between your feet and the hamper?"
"The hamper?"
"Yes," she answered in a controlled voice. "You were supposed to put them in the hamper with your other clothes."
"I know, but," he paled. "I fear they did not make it there."
"Why?"
"Because when I take them off I am usually distracted by our conversations. I lose track of where they go most evenings."
"Perhaps it's time to keep better track of them."
"Fine, I will try not to be so distracted in the evenings."
"What distracts you?" Rose called.
Severus and Hermione turned to their children.
"Why are you distracted?" Her lip quivered. "Don't you like my costume? Is it boring to you?"
"Oh Rose I love your costume. You are your brother have the most interesting costumes I've ever seen." He strolled over to him. "You make a lovely scientist."
"I don't want to be a lovely scientist," she argued. "I want to be a scary scientist."
"And you do scare me with that costume."
"I do?" Her eyes lit up.
"You do," he kissed her forehead.
"Wanna scare 'oo," Victor grabbed onto his leg.
"Yes, you are scary too," Severus kissed his son on the head.
Hermione's lips curled up. Perhaps Severus was struggling to keep track of his socks, but he was an excellent father. That was far important than how often they did the laundry.
For a few months, Severus was religious about putting his socks in the hamper. This was because he was going to bed either sooner or later than Hermione did. Once they began going to bed at the same time, they resumed their deep discussions. Conversations soon led to love making, where clothes went flying around the room. As always, Hermione found her discarded clothes. Severus was good about finding every article of clothing and putting them in the hamper.
Except for his socks.
At first, Hermione thought the issue would resolve itself within a few months. Yet five years passed, and the problem persisted.
"Where are my socks?" Severus rummaged through his bottom drawer.
"What do you mean, where are your socks?" Hermione sat on the bed next to his partially packed suitcase. She placed a hand over her bulging stomach when a hard kick came her way.
"I need five pairs of socks for my conference, and I only have four," he argued.
"How can you only have five pairs? I did laundry two days ago. You should have more than enough socks to get through the conference."
"Except I don't." He pointed to the drawer.
Hermione strolled over to the drawer, leaned over, and looked inside. She twisted her lips.
He did in fact have only four socks.
"Did you put the socks in the hamper like I asked you?" She asked.
"I put most of them in," he admitted.
"Most of them?" She tapped her foot on the ground.
"I don't remember where I put all of them," he admitted. "I am usually quite distracted when I take off my socks."
"Perhaps you should be a little less distracted and focus on your socks."
"Is that what you want?"
"I don't want to do laundry every other day if that's the question."
"Yes, but do you want me to be unaware of my surroundings in favor of only focusing on my clothing?"
"I expect you to notice where you've put your socks so I'm not doing laundry every other day." Her foot stilled.
"It isn't that simple, not when I notice so many things," he twirled a lock of her hair around his finger.
Her heart began to race as the baby within her kicked again.
"Do you expect me not to notice when a beautiful woman is in my bed, speaking to me in a voice she knows is more intoxicating than any love potion I could ever create?" He purred as he stroked her hair. "Do you expect me not to answer her when she says something intriguing, or to reject her advances in the name of socks?"
She exhaled, already feeling the want washing over her body. Damn man and damn pregnancy hormones. They would be the end of her someday.
He whispered in her ear. "Do you expect me to ignore her, not to tend to her every whim?"
She swallowed.
"Because I cannot do that. It goes against my nature," he purred. "For she drives me wild in a way that no other woman does."
"Flirting is not going to make your socks clean," she breathed, her resistance crumbling. "Nor will it help us find them so I can do laundry."
"The socks can wait," He breathed before removing the suitcase from the bed.
"Severus," she breathed as warmth enveloped her body. "If you want the socks before the conference we need to find them now so I can do the laundry."
"We also need a few moments alone without the prying eyes of our children." He brushed his lips against hers. "We finally have that. Right now, we're together without them distracting us."
"You know, this distraction could make you late."
"The conference isn't until tomorrow."
"Yes, but if you need to clean the socks before you go, that's going to take time."
"Trust me, we have time," he began unbuttoning his shirt. "We have more than enough time."
Hermione hummed before an idea came to mind. She began kissing his neck, eliciting the most enrapturing sounds she could from her husband. As he continued stripping, she kissed him on the jaw, only taking pauses to glance at his feet. Finally, he threw his socks on the floor.
"Your socks are under the bed," she panted before she captured his lips.
"Witch, do you think I care about socks right now?" He inhaled.
"No," she admitted. "But in the future it would be nice for you to know where they are, just in case this woman you can't help but notice distracts you again."
"Merlin Hermione you are sensual even when discussing socks."
"I don't know if I would ever call myself that." She blushed.
"I would." He captured her lips again, providing a distraction from socks for the next few hours.
When she was a teenager, Hermione read somewhere in Witch Weekly that the eighth year of a marriage was when couples struggled the most. The newlywed phase had ended, children were taking away time the couple could be spending on adult activities, and problems which were once ignored were now festering until they threatened to boil over. Also, your partner was now far less sexually pleasing, or so the magazine said.
Hermione knew Witch Weekly was full of bollucks. Severus was as sensual as he'd ever been. He knew how to make her happy better than anyone else ever had. He paid attention to the desires of her body and mind, making sure she always knew how much he valued her. That alone made him the sexiest man Hermione had ever seen.
Children were not an issue either. Every time she watched him interact with the children, she found a new reason to love him. No matter how much brewing he needed to do, he found a way to spend time with her and tuck the children into bed. Some nights, she brewed potions for the apothecary while he tended to the children, just to give him a break. Of course, there were conferences to attend. Because he was more introverted, she tended to present most of their research. In the meantime, he stayed home with the children and ran the apothecary. Everything was better than she could've ever imagined.
Except for those bloody socks outside the hamper.
From the moment Hermione awoke, she knew it was not going to be a pleasant day.
Violet had decided that five in the morning was the perfect chance to wake up Mum and Dad so she could show them every stuffed animal she owned, the same stuffed animals they saw every day. Of course this tour of her room took an hour to complete, and she would whimper if either parent so much as thought about returning to bed. Despite her growing headache, Hermione stayed awake for the entire presentation.
Two hours later, Rose and Victor were having difficulty deciding whether they wanted scrambled eggs or pancakes for breakfast. Hermione told them she could only make one or the other due to time constraints. They pointed out she could use a house elf to resolve the problem and make them both.
When she told them house elves were only for emergencies, they rolled their eyes and argued this was an emergency. Much to Hermione's relief, Severus stepped in and told them he was resolving the issue by having them both eat Raisin Bran unless they both decided on what to ear for breakfast within the next thirty seconds.
They opted for waffles, something Severus agreed to make while Hermione sorted the laundry.
Much to her irritation, only two pairs of Severus' socks had made it into the hamper. Apparently helping her with the laundry was too burdensome for the man. It was enough to raise her already elevated blood pressure.
"Severus," she stormed to the entrance of the dining room.
"What?" He asked as he put the plate of waffles between his children.
She motioned for him to come into the hallway. He ensured Violet was secure in her high chair and told his two oldest children to watch her before joining his wife.
"I need your socks," she demanded after casting a muffliato.
"You have them," he answered.
"No, I do not."
He blinked.
"I only found two pairs of socks in the laundry hamper. You have been complaining for the last few days that you are almost out even though everyone else has theirs. For the last two weeks you have hidden your socks. I need them now," she argued.
"Did you look under the bed?"
"Why should I look for the clothes you're supposed to be putting in the hamper?"
"It would be easier to do that than to interrupt my breakfast."
"Listen," Hermione retorted. "I have a conference in two days. This is my day to do laundry. I won't have time tomorrow since I'm taking Violet in for her check up. Please, get your socks and put them in the laundry room."
He furrowed his eyebrows before storming away in silence. She sighed, lifted the spell, and trudged into the kitchen.
"Mum, where did Dad go?" Rose cut her waffles.
"He's doing something for me," Hermione took two waffles and put them on her plate at the table.
"Oh," she swallowed. "He didn't look happy when he left. You didn't either. Is he in trouble or something?"
That was an excellent question. She didn't know how much trouble he was in with her. All she knew was she needed a little peace and quiet so she could think and get this raging headache under control.
"Is Dad in trouble?" Victor asked, all humor evaporated from his expression.
"No," she took the syrup and poured it onto her waffles. "He isn't in trouble. We're just having a disagreement as to who does what around here."
"He makes breakfast," Rose argued. "He does that well."
"Ah," Violet glanced up at the ceiling.
"I know," Hermione exhaled. "He makes a delicious breakfast. I appreciate him doing that."
"I love his waffles," Rose dipped her waffles into the syrup.
"I do too," She took a bite of the waffle. Her body relaxed at the fluffy texture, and her lips curled up at the taste of the chocolate chips. She didn't remember Victor or Rose asking for chocolate chips, but he put them in despite believing chocolate chip waffles were unnatural. He also knew one of her secret favorite foods was chocolate chip waffles. Her parents rarely allowed her to eat them for fear her teeth would rot, which made them a special treat, one he made of her on occasion, especially if he knew she was having a stressful morning.
Then there was the fact he made waffles for her even when she didn't ask for them. Just another way he showed more consideration for her than any other man ever had.
Instead of appreciating him, she nagged at him like he was a petulant child. She took all he'd done for granted, just as most other people had done throughout his life. Merlin could she stop being bossy long enough for Severus not to regret waking up next to her? It was a wonder he spoke to her some days.
"Dada!" Violet cried and stretched out her arms.
"Yes, I'm here," he placed a bowl of wet cereal before her. Then he kissed her on the forehead. "And I love you."
"I love you too, Dad," Rose stood and embraced Severus.
"I know," he rubbed her back. "And I love you too."
"I love you too," Victor squeezed himself between his father and his sister.
"I know, and I love you too." He ruffled his son's hair before returning his attention to Violet. "Are you ready to eat?"
"Yay!" She glanced into the bowl of cereal, debating on just sticking her head into it like the Beast did in that one movie she saw at Grandma's house.
"I love you."
Severus turned around.
"I love you," Hermione swallowed. "And, thank you for everything you do for this family. I, I should be more appreciative of you and all you do. You don't always get the appreciation you deserve, so thank you for all you do for us."
"Thank you for the appreciation," he answered in a soft voice as his two oldest children returned to their seats.
"I should have looked for your dumb socks myself," she approached him. "There was no reason to snap at you. I've been a nightmare honestly, and I know it."
"No," his voice was tender. "You're my wildest, most pleasant dreams come true. I couldn't have imagined a better family than you and the children."
"Thank you," her throat tightened. "I shouldn't nag at you or crawl all over you when you're being a good father and an outstanding husband. Again, I apologize for my terrible behavior."
"Apology accepted," he answered. "And I apologize for not putting the socks in the hamper."
"Thank you, but I had no right to snap at you as I did."
"In your defense, I don't think you would have found my socks," he answered.
"Oh?" She cocked her head.
"Yes, somehow they made their way into the bathroom cabinet".
"Where?" Her eyes sparkled in amusement as her headache vanished.
"In the bathroom cabinet," his lips curled upwards. "Apparently I kept getting distracted by our invigorating conversations, so they didn't even make it into the bedroom."
"How," Hermione covered her mouth and began chuckling. "How did you manage to do that?"
"I haven't the foggiest clue." He let out a deep chuckle of his own.
Hermione and Severus stared at each other. Then, they both burst out laughing.
"Dada," Violet put her head over the cereal bowl. Severus removed it from the high chair just in time.
He turned to her. "You need to be less messy."
"Oh ay," she scowled in a way reminiscent of her father.
"Does this mean you and Dad aren't fighting anymore?" Rose asked.
"No, we aren't fighting anymore," Hermione wrapped her arms around her husband.
"Good," Rose relaxed. "I don't think you should fight over socks."
"I don't either," Hermione replied before capturing Severus' lips.
"I think you should have some dec, dec…"
"Decorum," Severus noted.
"Yes, that," Rose answered.
"When you love someone the way I love your mother, decorum is irrelevant," Severus purred.
His next kiss on Hermione's lips proved that point.
The years continued on with the same cycle of Severus remembering to put his socks away for a few months, only to get distracted and place them somewhere else. Finding the socks became a fun little game for the couple. Granted, some days it was more fun than others. Still, Severus always made sure she understood that he always did his best to tend to her every need, even as he struggled with the socks.
This was especially poignant when she had fallen ill and could barely move.
"Please love, rest," Severus planted a kiss on Hermione's cheek as she lay in bed.
"All I've done over the last few days is rest," She rolled on her back so she could face him. "I'm tired of being exhausted and feeling like I'm about to vomit every minute of the day. I just want my body back."
"I know," he whispered before brushing his lips against hers. "That's why you need to relax, let me do the chores, and focus on recovering."
"Don't overextend yourself," a few strands of hair fell from her head. "I know you need to research, so if you need to use the house elves, to do a few chores well, we do pay them. Feel free to use them if you must."
"Very well then," he brushed his lips against hers. "I will collect the laundry and allow them to do their job."
She broke away from him. "Including your socks?"
"Yes," he drawled. "My socks."
"Do you know where they are?" She coughed.
"I," he chuckled. "I haven't the foggiest clue."
Her lips curled upwards. "Have you looked under the bed?"
"Yes."
"Have you looked in the bathroom cabinet?"
"Yes."
"Have you looked in your closet?"
"Yes."
"Have you double checked them?"
"I have triple checked them."
She twisted her lower lip.
"I have no idea where they are," he argued.
"Are they behind the bathroom door?"
"Why would be there?"
"Why would they be anywhere you've put them over the years?"
"Good point," Severus went over to the bathroom door. He opened it somewhat before his eyes grew. "They're right here."
Hermione sat up straighter as she watched him collect the socks. There had to be at least ten pairs in the pile. It was amazing he didn't notice so many were missing the last few times he'd done laundry. Then again, they had just bought him more…because he kept running out of socks.
"I have no idea what I would do without you," he threw the socks into the hamper.
"Probably buy a new packet of socks every month because you lost all the ones you own in the oddest of places," she answered.
"I fear that is what would occur," he smirked and sat beside her. "I would lose our entire fortune on socks because you weren't around to help me find them."
"However would you survive a sockless existence?"
"I couldn't. I would waste away from frigid feet."
"We cannot have that, now can we?"
"No, we cannot." He kissed her lips. "Gods Hermione, I wouldn't last a day without you and the children."
"We wouldn't last a day without you either," Hermione kissed his cheek.
"Mum? Dad?"
They turned to their five year old daughter, who stood in the doorway holding her stuffed unicorn.
"Yes?" Hermione asked.
"I was wondering if you were feeling any better, and if you wanted to play Pretty Pretty Princess?"
"Sadly, I'm still not strong enough to leave bed," Hermione took a deep breath. "But if you bring the game here, I will play it with you."
"If you wait ten minutes, I will join you two," Severus answered, "As a referee."
"But I want to see you wear the crown," Violet argued.
"Why?"
"Because you're a prince, and princes wear crowns."
"Yes, but princes do not wear Pretty Pretty Princess crowns. Those are only for princesses."
Violet frowned.
Severus gave her a small smile, "though I suppose I can make an exception for you. If you want me to wear the crown, I shall do so."
Violet's eyes lit up.
"Go ahead and bring the game in here. I will give the laundry to the elves so we can play."
"Thank you," Hermione answered.
"Yes, thank you," Violet raced to her room.
"Thank you for everything," Hermione continued in a soft voice. "You are the best husband and father any of us could've asked for."
"Even if I leave the socks behind the bathroom door?"
"If you didn't leave the socks somewhere odd, I'd wonder if you were still yourself. That would be terrible given that I esteem you above everyone else."
"I feel the same way towards you."
"Besides, without you I'd be deathly bored. Imagine me, married to a man who put his socks away. Where would my amusement come from then?"
"I haven't the foggiest clue."
"I am much better off with you than anyone else, a fact I will never forget."
"I feel the same towards you," he captured her lips once more, reminding her that he was the man who loved her more than he had ever loved another woman.
Decades passed, and Severus' socks still did not make into the hamper. Sometimes, even Severus couldn't explain how his socks landed in a certain area. There were some mysteries which would elude even the two most brilliant minds in Britain.
"The chandelier?" Hermione turned to Severus. "You found them on the bedroom chandelier?"
"I promise I am not deceiving you," he put the socks in her hands. "I flew up and found them on the chandelier."
"Okay," she glanced at the socks, then at their bedroom chandelier, meters above their heads. "I understand how one pair got here, but I don't understand how eight pairs got there."
"Well we were celebrating our anniversary quite exuberantly." He gave her that slight smirk which he knew drove her to distraction.
"Yes," her heart fluttered as her lips curled up. "We did have quite the celebration."
"Twenty-eight years of marriage is something to celebrate with much enthusiasm."
"We must have really enjoyed ourselves for them to be up there."
"I know I did, and if I recall," he brushed his lips against hers. "You did too."
She threw down the dirty socks and embraced him. "There is no harm in a proper, joyous celebration."
"I could not agree more." He carried her onto the bed, where they continued their festivities, the socks already forgotten.
Two years later, Hermione had persuaded him to go on a Hawaiian vacation for their thirtieth anniversary, something she promised would be just as amazing as any other anniversary they had celebrated. Before they left though, she needed to do the laundry, including the socks. After searching in the places they had been previously (including the chandelier), she decided to ask Severus himself where he may have put them. If he stayed on schedule, he should be done brewing the last of his potions.
She opened the door and began to descend the stairs to the lab. Halfway down she paused, enjoying the aroma wafting from below.
For years, Hermione had taken comfort in the scent of the Amortentia. The familiar scent of dusty shelves, disinfectant potions mixed with herbs, and black roses filled her senses. It had been that way for thirty years, and she knew it would be that way for the rest of her life.
Somehow, she'd found a way to build a life with her husband. Two lonely people had found each other and created a beautiful family. Sure, they had their disagreements and spats, but she knew that he would always be on her side. She made sure he knew she would always be there for him every day.
"Hermione," he began in a soft voice. "What are you doing here?"
"I knew you were finishing up," she approached him, taking note of his losing battle to hide his graying hair. "So I decided now would be a good time to ask where your socks are."
He twisted his lower lip.
"But the socks can wait," she wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm a little distracted now."
"Oh you are?" He purred.
"Indeed," she breathed. "I always pack a few days ahead. Still, I can get sidetracked when I see a sexy man brewing a potion."
"Your focus must be amazing given I'm the only one brewing potions here."
She chuckled. "Oh no, you are the sexiest man I have ever laid eyes upon."
"You must not have seen many other men then."
"Why would I look at the rest when I have the best?"
He grinned.
"Anyway, I'm distracted from the socks by my amazing husband. I'd much rather spend the afternoon with him than doing laundry."
"It is quite fortunate that I'm done bottling the Amortentia then," he grinned, "Because I'm getting quite distracted myself."
She yelped as he picked her up and carried her up the stairs, ready to show her that she was the most pleasant distraction he'd ever known.