It had been nearly a half-moon since Leafpool had met Tigerstar in the Dark Forest, but she had had no time yet to go back. First, she had been in her first real battle, against ShadowClan. She had been injured, though not badly. The battle had ended in tragedy though. ShadowClan's deputy had been killed, and Firestar had lost a life.

Then, Briarlight had gotten a chest infection, which Jayfeather had come to her for advice on. She was happy he was at least speaking to her enough to ask for her advice, but she really had nothing useful to suggest. She was doing her exercises, and ultimately there was nothing either of them could do if the infection spread.

All of the eventfulness meant that she hadn't had the energy to even think about going back to the Dark Forest. Every night, she considered it, and every night, she found herself too exhausted.

That night, there was a Gathering, and Jayfeather had asked her to watch over Briarlight while he attended. She had readily agreed, grateful for the opportunity to be doing medicine cat duties again and glad he was speaking to her. He was giving her instructions now before he left, and she could hardly contain her pride. He was a fully-fledged medicine cat now and she was so impressed by how far he had come. When he had first become her apprentice, he hadn't even wanted to be a medicine cat. Now, he was running the medicine den as well as she ever had.

"If she tells you she's too tired to do her exercises, don't listen to her," he instructed her. "She's just trying to get out of them, but she needs to do them before she goes to sleep. Brackenfur's shoulder is still hurting, so he might come to you to ask for some poppy seeds to sleep. And Sandstorm has been coughing a bit, so let me know if that seems any worse." He seemed nervous to leave, which wasn't surprising, given how many injuries and illnesses the Clan had had lately.

She smiled. "You're just leaving for the night, not a whole moon," she pointed out. "We'll be fine here." He nodded, though he didn't look convinced, and after a moment Firestar called out for the cats attending the Gathering to leave. She watched them leave before padding into the medicine den. She still felt far more at home there than she suspected she ever would in the warriors' den.

She found Millie there, as she often was.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" fretted Millie to Briarlight. "You've been coughing more. Maybe you shouldn't do your exercises tonight and just get some rest."

"Nope," meowed Leafpool, padding over to them. "Jayfeather says you have to do them, even if you're feeling tired. Remember, this is your best chance of keeping the infection from settling in your lungs."

"But she's so weak!" exclaimed Millie. "She'll just make herself sicker."

"Jayfeather knows what he's talking about," Leafpool reminded her. "He got this advice from Littlecloud, who's dealt with this before. And I know what I'm talking about too. The exercises will do her good."

"But-" Millie protested.

"Millie, why don't we take a walk?" Leafpool suggested. "Briarlight, you can do your exercises now." Briarlight looked grateful for the break from her fretting mother.

Millie cast one last nervous glance at Briarlight before following Leafpool out of the den and into the forest. They walked in silence for a few moments before Leafpool stopped and sat.

"Millie, I know you're worried about her. But you fussing over her all the time is doing more harm than good," Leafpool meowed gently. Jayfeather had complained repeatedly about Millie, both to her face and behind her back, but Millie seemed immune to Jayfeather's prickly complaints. Leafpool thought maybe Millie needed to hear it from someone else.

Millie looked shocked. "I'm her mother, Leafpool. I have to be there to watch over her," she insisted.

"I know you are," replied Leafpool. "Which is why I know you're just doing what you think is best for her. But sometimes what's best isn't always what's easiest." Leafpool felt a pang as she spoke the words. She knew this truth better than anyone.

"I just hate seeing her suffer like this," Millie whispered. "I know this is awful to say, but sometimes I think… sometimes I think she'd be better off if she had just died when the tree hit her. If she was in your StarClan, maybe she'd be happier than she is now, suffering like this."

Leafpool felt the strength of Millie's confession like a physical blow. Millie had never lost a kit, she reminded herself. She didn't know how painful it felt. And of course, Leafpool had never faced Millie's torment of having to watch her kit in constant pain.

"She is still going to live a life of so much joy," Leafpool told her. "I know this is hard for you to watch, but she's a fighter. She wants to live, she's fighting so hard to live, and that means she needs you to be nothing but supportive, even if it's hard for you."

"But how can she live a life of joy like this?" demanded Millie. "She can't hunt, she can't fight, she can't do… anything cats do. She feels so useless, and I can't blame her."

"Jayfeather can't hunt or fight," Leafpool pointed out. "Would you call him useless?"

"Of course not!" Millie meowed quickly. "But he's a medicine cat. It's different- he had a special role in the Clan."

"Daisy can't hunt or fight either, and she still lives a fulfilling life taking care of all of the Clan's kits," Leafpool added. "She helped take care of your kits. Is she useless?"

"Oh, Leafpool, of course not. But you have to understand what I'm saying," Millie insisted.

Leafpool sighed. "I know what you're saying, but I disagree with it," she told Millie firmly. "There are a number of ways Briarlight can still live a fulfilling, happy life. But you have to believe in her. You have such a big influence on her. She can see how worried you get about her. If she sees that you think she's going to die, she's not going to fight as hard to survive. You have to believe in your daughter."

Millie sighed. "Maybe you're right. I just… I can't stand to watch her suffer like this. I can't bring myself to push her to do exercises that are painful for her, even if it'll keep her alive," she meowed.

Leafpool paused for a moment to make sure her next words hit their mark, and then meowed, "Millie, I would do anything in the world to have my daughter alive again. You've been given an incredible miraculous chance. Don't waste it."

Millie was silent for so long that Leafpool almost started to feel guilty. But it was hard not to be angry with her. How could Millie have had her daughter survive, even despite horrible odds against her, and not treasure her every moment? If Hollyleaf had survived, Leafpool would have been thanking StarClan every day for her life, no matter what condition she was in.

"I'm so sorry, Leafpool," Millie meowed finally. "I didn't… I wasn't thinking. You're right. I'm so lucky to have her still, and I have no right to waste that miracle. I'll be more encouraging of her."

"Thank you," meowed Leafpool, relieved. This conversation could have gone much worse.

"I'm going to go make sure she does her exercises right now!" meowed Millie. "Thank you, Leafpool." And with that, Millie bounded off back towards camp.

Leafpool watched her leave, her grief over Hollyleaf hanging in her chest even more than usual. Just then, she heard a voice behind her.

"You handled that well," meowed her mother.

Leafpool turned. "How long have you been here?" she asked.

"Long enough to hear what you said to her," Sandstorm replied. "You said the right thing. Jayfeather means well, but sometimes you just need to hear it from another mother."

Leafpool smiled faintly. It felt strange, hearing her own mother refer to her as a mother. "What are you even doing out here, anyway?" she asked.

Sandstorm shrugged. "Sometimes I like to do some night hunting alone. It helps me clear my head. I was on my way back to camp and I thought it was best not to disrupt your conversation." Leafpool couldn't imagine ever finding hunting to be a good way to clear her head, but Sandstorm was one of the best hunters in ThunderClan. She supposed you didn't get that good at something unless you enjoyed it, at least a bit. "How have you been, Leafpool?" Sandstorm asked. "I know these past few moons can't have been easy for you."

Leafpool sighed. That was an understatement. And her mother didn't even know the worst of it: that not only was Hollyleaf dead, but suffering in the Dark Forest. "I'm okay," she meowed softly. In that moment, she missed being a kit, safe in the nursery in her mother's nest next to her sister. Everything had been so simple back then. "It's tough adjusting to being a warrior," she confessed. "I was so much better at being a medicine cat. I felt like I was valuable to my Clan. Now, I'm just an extra mouth to feed."

"You will never not be valuable to your Clan," insisted Sandstorm. "So don't you ever say that." Leafpool smiled faintly. Her mother was fiercely protective of the cats she loved, even against their own self-doubt. "I disagreed with the decision to have you step down as medicine cat. Just because you made one mistake, that doesn't erase all of the moons of good you did for ThunderClan." Leafpool was surprised, though maybe she shouldn't have been, knowing her mother. But even though cats like Sorreltail and Squirrelflight had expressed sympathy towards her, no cat had been bold enough to say outright that they disagreed with Firestar and StarClan's decision to force her to step down as medicine cat.

"Thank you," she meowed softly. "That means a lot."

Sandstorm shrugged, as if openly disagreeing with StarClan was no big deal. "You're my kit. I will always support you," her mother meowed. "You know, I've suspected all along the kits were yours."

Leafpool's mouth hung open. "You have?" she exclaimed. "But how? And why didn't you say anything?"

"A mother always knows these things," Sandstorm meowed with a smile. "I was with kits myself once, too. I know how to recognize the symptoms, and I keep an eye on my daughters. I suspected you were with kits, and when you came back with Squirrelflight and the kits, it was clear which one of you had been carrying them." Leafpool was shocked. Her mother had known her secret all along. "And as for why I didn't say anything, of course I would never have told any cat your secret. You're my daughter, and I will always protect you, right or wrong."

Leafpool didn't know how to respond. Her mother had done her a far greater kindness than she had ever realized. Because of her mother's protection, her kits had gotten so many moons of normalcy. They had gotten to grow up with a mother who loved them. And Leafpool had gotten to stay medicine cat for all of those moons. "I don't know how I can ever thank you enough," Leafpool murmured.

"Oh, Leafpool, you don't have to thank me," Sandstorm meowed. "I did what any mother would have done." Sandstorm hesitated before going on. "I thought about talking to you about it, before they were born. I was going to offer to raise them myself. We could have told the Clan they were mine and your father's. Sure, I'm a bit old to be having kits again but no cat would have questioned it. Your father wouldn't have questioned it either," she added with a twinkle in her eye. "But you went off with Squirrelflight before I got the chance to offer," Sandstorm went on. "As soon as I saw you two leaving together, I knew you would work it out. I was always so proud of how close you two were. It's a great accomplishment as a mother, when your kits care so deeply for each other."

Suddenly, Leafpool wanted to curl up next to her mother and never leave her side. She wanted to pour out every horrible truth she was hiding. Because in that moment, she felt like her mother could fix every problem that there had ever been.

"I should have told you," she meowed softly. "I was too afraid to tell any cat other than Squirrelflight. I thought you would tell Firestar, and he would be obligated to tell the whole Clan, and they would make me leave with my kits. I just… didn't think I could risk that. But I should have trusted you."

"It's all right," meowed Sandstorm gently. "It's okay."

Leafpool smiled sadly. "I was lucky to have you as my mother," she meowed.

"And your kits were lucky to have you," Sandstorm replied. "They were doubly lucky, to have both you and your sister. You did the best you could for them, given the circumstances you were forced into. I wish I could have helped you more. I wish I could have saved you from all the pain and heartbreak you've felt. But sometimes being a mother means you have to watch your kits make their own mistakes, however hard it may be."

As Sandstorm wrapped her tail comfortingly around her daughter, Leafpool thought about how true her mother's words were. Whether she was watching Jayfeather hurt himself trying to keep up with his littermates, or Lionblaze throw himself into training in the Dark Forest, or Hollyleaf kill a Clanmate to protect a secret she later revealed herself anyway, she had never been able to stop her kits from making mistakes. All she could do from now on was keep an eye on them, and be there to support them, no matter what they did.