Leah and Charlie helped carry everything into the house so that Leah could get to work on time. Charlie frowned as he spotted some of his mother's dishes but said nothing.
Since the cupboards at Jacob's had been such a mess, Bella had to rewash them. Charlie listened to her account of what happened with Billy as she washed and rinsed. She told him how awkward seeing Jacob had been, withholding the new bruises on her upper arm from his accidental roughness in the hallway. She mentioned making up with Quil as he dried them with a towel and helped her put them away. He hugged her afterward and readied himself for work, leaving her to her own devices for the evening.
Well after dark, Bella was startled by a loud thump on her back porch. She leaned out of her open bedroom window, trying to see who or what was out there. Her jaw dropped, and her breath caught as Bella watched a very tall, firmly built naked man silently striding toward the woods. Heat flooded her skin as she blushed furiously and quickly backed away from her window. She stood, blinking in shock for a few seconds and unsure if she'd been hallucinating.
Who, in their right mind, would be stupid enough to walk up into the Chief Of Police's yard butt-naked? Better yet, which of Sam's disciples had it been? She knew it wasn't Jacob. She could recognize the shape of his ass anywhere after the last night she spent there. The thought of that night left her squeezing her eyes shut as she pushed away the mental image.
It startled her again as her phone went off, and she shrieked. Bella laughed at herself as she took a calming breath and reached for her cell phone.
Charlie. Great. "Hey, Dad," She answered with a sigh. "What's up?"
Charlie sounded irritated as he grumbled, "Uh, do I need to send someone over there? I just got a call about a naked guy in my backyard, Bells. If you know who it was, just say yes or no. I really don't want to fucking know any more than that."
Bella laughed and said, "No. I don't know who it was, but I got a clear glimpse of the person's bare ass. It kind of freaked me out. I guess your stalker from next door called?"
Charlie sighed as collective laughter echoed in the background, and she assumed his deputies were listening. "Oh, hush," he said and promptly hung up.
Bella shook her head, tossed the phone onto her bed, and headed down the darkened stairwell to the kitchen. She hesitated before opening the back door to inspect whatever the man had done to gain her attention in the first place.
A small, blue duffle bag sat on the back porch, one Bella recognized from inside the twins' old bedroom closet. She knew without looking that it likely contained any items she'd left behind at Jacob's and wondered which of the guys had dropped it off, and who would have dared them to do it naked.
Embry or Quil would have knocked on the door. Sam and Jacob knew better than to come to her house under their current circumstances. Bella had only met Jared once, but he seemed (mostly) reserved.
Paul, though… Now, he's cocky enough to do something so stupid. She looked toward where he'd disappeared into the trees, shaking her head. Had the others dared him to streak in her yard?
She muttered, "Thanks, Paul. Wear some clothes and knock on the fucking door next time."
She could have sworn she heard his familiar braying laugh while pulling the bag inside and turned back to scan what little of the darkened forest she could see. Spotting and hearing nothing else, Bella hurriedly shut the door and darted across the house to look for a waiting car. She scowled, suspiciously searching for signs of movement or headlights, but found none.
How did these guys keep ending up in Forks on foot? How the hell did Embry and Paul - or whoever Mr. Pantsless was - keep getting to the house in the first damn place? It didn't make any sense!
Bella returned to the kitchen and carried the bag to the table before turning on the overhead light. Inside was a jumble of items, as if someone had repeatedly shaken the bag between his house and hers. She smoothed out open books, particularly annoyed by finding multiple dog-eared pages.
In the center of the mess was a crumpled piece of notebook paper. Jacob's familiar penmanship made her hands shake as she carefully smoothed it on the tabletop. She hoped it was a simple mistake, perhaps some old homework he'd accidentally grabbed among the mess. Instead, her heart sank as she began reading.
Bells,
I don't hate you. I guess it was just easier to let you think I do. And I can't explain everything I know you need to hear, but I want to.
You deserve an apology for many things - mostly over my suspicion of you and Embry, and I know better now. Hearing I couldn't see you anymore made it all worse. It crushed me, Bells. I don't think you've even considered that it hurt me, too. Since I wasn't supposed to talk to you at the time…I was stuck. I can't escape who I am, so I had to let go of you. That's why I was so terrible on the phone, and I'm sorry for that, too. You didn't deserve that. I didn't deserve you.
All of this changes nothing, though. I'm sorry that it has to be this way, that the changes in my life have made a mess of yours, and I can't even tell you why. The things that have happened are out of my control, Bells. I hope you can understand that and that you might forgive me someday.
I am happy with Ellie. I know it's new, but there's a connection there that I can't describe. Hopefully, someday we can cross paths and be okay. I think you'd like her, despite everything. She soothes my soul, Bells. I hope you find the person who does that for you. I'm sorry it couldn't be me.
You will always be my best friend, even when we can't be friends at all. I hope that makes sense. Goodbye, Bells. Please try to be happy.
Love Always, Jake.
Bella let the letter fall to the table and walked away, leaving everything there to deal with later. Tears blurred her vision as she turned off the light, climbed the stairs, and shuffled toward her room.
Bella made herself a promise as tears soaked her pillow that night. It was the last time she would let herself cry over Jacob Black.
Bella woke the following morning to the smell of coffee drifting upstairs. Instantly, she thought of the mess on the table, knowing Charlie had probably read the letter by now. She climbed out of bed and headed to the bathroom, unconsciously resuming her healthier morning routine. Despite how she'd fallen asleep, she felt exceptionally calm. Putting on her makeup, she pondered replacing the hoard of Jacob's t-shirts that her wardrobe was now devoid of. And the eyeliner, finally.
New bra sets couldn't hurt. Most of hers didn't fit as they should.
Bella scowled at herself in the mirror as she considered browsing the stores in Port Angeles for new clothing. She really, really hated clothes shopping. Still, it would be nice to wear what she wanted instead of borrowed clothes or something Renee sent. Settling on the idea, she focused on the mahogany roots of her dyed-black curls. She swept the mess to one side and made another decision.
Okay, Bella, she thought at her reflection. This is good. We will not be zombie Bella today, right? Right!
And we are not, under any circumstances, going to cry today.
Suddenly, Bella remembered Leah was off for the day. She hoped her friend would be up to the trip. It might be fun to shop for clothing for once. Bella smiled as she grabbed the red lipstick.
Lost in planning and texting Leah, Bella had forgotten the mess downstairs. She groaned as she descended the stairs, seeing the bag in plain sight. It looked as if Charlie had shoved everything back inside of it. He sat at the table with a bowl of cereal, coffee, and the usual morning paper in his hand.
"Mornin', Bells," Charlie said as he lifted his coffee cup.
"Hey." She ignored the bag and went straight for the cabinet with her granola bars.
"I wish you'd eat something heartier," he said, still staring at the paper.
"I ate pancakes yesterday," she grumbled, tearing open her favorite yogurt-smothered breakfast. She took a big bite to prove a point and sighed as she chewed. She truly liked them, but Charlie didn't get it. His sugar-covered cereal wasn't much better. She shook her head as he harrumphed and side-eyed her while scooping a bite into his mouth.
After swallowing, she said, "Sorry about the mess I left on the table."
"Don't worry about that," Charlie said. "I saw Jacob's letter, though."
Bella nodded and took another bite as she thought of what Jacob said. He wasn't wrong. She hadn't honestly considered how much he'd been hurting, too. After seeing the look in his eyes the day before, she couldn't deny it. He missed her, too. He was heartbroken, even if their heartbreak wasn't the same.
Jacob hadn't even told her off for everything she'd said at the beach. And he could have. He probably should have.
Bella owed Ellie an apology if she did ever see her again. She had blindsided her, just as Bella had gotten blindsided by seeing the guys happily reunited without her. Bella struggled to swallow over the lump in her throat and poured herself a glass of milk to help it down.
"Sounds like a crock of horseshit, if you ask me," Charlie said. Bella nearly choked on her milk.
He continued, "Now, I knew there had to be some kind of jealousy going on there, Bella. I'm a guy, okay? I've seen it a million times. Two friends get close to the same girl, and… problems happen."
Bella asked, "Did that ever happen to you? Did you have a friend you suspected liked your girlfriend or something?"
Suddenly, Charlie looked like a deer caught in the headlights as his cheeks reddened. Bella couldn't help but laugh.
She teased, "Dad, were you in a love triangle with someone?"
He guffawed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I was. A very long time ago."
Bella blushed as she tried to picture her parents in some awkward love triangle and cringed. "Wow. Was it with Mom?"
"Actually… no. And that's all I'm gonna say." Charlie dropped the paper as he waved his hands and sputtered, "Th-that's not what we were talkin' about, damn it."
Bella snorted, and Charlie said, "The point is, jealousy can fuck things up. Friendships. Romantic or sibling relationships. It sucks. There's no room for it in a healthy relationship, Bells. It just goes to show ya Jake was never the right one for you, anyway."
He wasn't wrong. Bella had felt abandoned enough by now to know. It made her afraid to get close to anyone else. She wasn't sure how much more her chest could take before finally caving in on itself and fully suffocating her. She hesitated before asking, "How am I supposed to know, Dad? Who the right people are?"
Charlie lowered his voice as he picked up his newspaper and brushed a stray piece of cereal from the back of it. "The right people will want you to be happy, even if it isn't with them. And clearly, Jake wants you to be happy, but he's gone about it all wrong. The right people will fight for your presence, Bells. They stand by you, regardless of their own bullshit. They tell you the fucking truth and don't manipulate you or make you feel like shit for being yourself. Now, you remember that."
With that, Charlie silently returned to his paper and cereal as Bella finished her breakfast and let his words settle.
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