I just realized I missed last week's update and want to apologize for that - and for this chapter being so short. I hope you all enjoy it. xo.
Charlie had just awoken when they returned to the house. He watched wide-eyed, holding the door open as they hauled Bella's purchases inside.
He didn't bother saying hello before grumbling, "Jesus, kid. I hope you didn't max out a bunch of credit cards or something."
"I didn't," she said, pausing on the staircase to answer him. "Leah showed me a ton of second-hand shops today."
Charlie shook his head as he glanced down at her bags and smirked. "I didn't realize Victoria's Secret had resale shops. Then again, I guess no one wants second-hand underwear."
He chuckled as Bella blushed furiously and stomped up the stairs, Leah giggling from behind her.
"Don't worry, Charlie. I helped her pick stuff out," Leah called back at him.
He hollered, "I've seen your wardrobe, Leah. That doesn't make me feel better."
Bella couldn't help but laugh as Leah nudged the bedroom door shut behind her and set the bags on the floor with the others. Bella sighed as she looked over them, dreading putting it all away.
"We probably should have transferred your stuff into designated bags earlier. I'll have to go through and find everything."
And hide the things Leah isn't supposed to know about yet.
Leah pulled Bella into a hug. She lightly kissed Bella's cheek before tightening her embrace as she sighed. "Thanks for today," she said as she slowly pulled away. "Sitting around the house all day would not do me any favors, and today was fun."
Despite sounding positive, her face was sad. Bella wanted to comfort her immediately, to pull her back into her arms. She couldn't help but recall Leah comforting her after her breakdown - Before kissing her, anyway.
Not for the first time, Bella felt the last few days had passed like months. Those kisses already felt so far away.
Shoving the thought aside, Bella kicked off her old Converse and flopped onto her bed. She turned to her side and held her arms open, mimicking what Leah had done before. Leah chuckled and toed off her sneakers before sliding onto the bed beside Bella. Each tried to stifle a laugh as Leah snuggled against Bella's side and laid her head on Bella's chest.
"Thanks for going with me today," Bella said, reaching up to play with Leah's short, silky hair. "You made today fun. Not me." She leaned to kiss the side of Leah's head tenderly and grinned as Leah shook from a silent chuckle.
"It's nice to have someone to be close with," Leah whispered. "I don't have to act like a hardened bitch when it's just you and me. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a bitch, but I can just cuddle your little ass and let the world fuck off for a while."
It was nice. Bella had always been a snuggler, especially if she was close to someone. Edward and Alice. The boys. Even Mike received a too-long hug or ten in the beginning. But Leah, like Jacob, was different. The connection, along with what she suspected was a poorly hidden attraction, seemed to have a life of its own.
Laughing yet seriously, Bella said, "Any time, Lee."
Leah's hold on her tightened, her right hand sliding up Bella's side to her ribs. She traced along the bottom of Bella's ribs with one paper-light fingertip, and they laughed as Bella shivered. She asked, "So, what's going on at home? Is Seth still acting like an asshat?"
"Of course. And my Dad…" Leah left whatever she planned to say hanging as she took a deep breath.
Suddenly, Leah sat up and turned to face Bella, pulling her feet up underneath her. "I wanted to talk to you about this all day, but I didn't want to ruin anything. I rarely give a flying fuck what people think, but you're… Different. "
Bella frowned at the coincidental choice of words, wondering, How am I different? "Leah, you can tell me anything. I hope you know that."
She grumbled, "Well, my mom and Seth think I'm fucking heartless right now, so I'm not so sure about that."
Bella sat up and took Leah's hand as she soothed, "Hey… I'm not them, okay? I'm me, and I promise I won't think you're being heartless. I know better than that. Just talk to me."
Leah hesitated again, and Bella patiently waited for her to speak. After a long pause and a few shuddering breaths, Leah said, "My Dad keeps showing up in my dreams, Bells. He wants them to let him go, but they won't. He said, many times after we found out he had heart problems, that he didn't want to be on machines like this if something happened. My Mom and Seth know that!"
Bella blinked, unsure of how to respond to that. Bella wasn't religious or even remotely spiritual despite Old Quil's heavy influence on her childhood. Charlie wasn't, either. He always said he stopped believing in that shit when he had to get divorced and bury both parents in the same year. Bella suspected that rather than entirely losing his faith, Charlie remained bitter about his many losses. Seeing the things he did as an officer and having a child as frequently wounded as she seemed hadn't helped. It certainly put his 'live and let live' mentality into perspective.
Renee was spiritual, with an eclectic array of beliefs and practices glommed together - none of which had rubbed off on Bella how Renee had once hoped.
The Cullens had believed people had souls and that theirs became damned because of what they were, but Bella had never agreed with their fears. She'd seen the good in them despite everything. It was why she loved them all so much.
'Who am I to say Harry visiting Leah in her dreams is impossible? I dated a vampire, for fuck's sake.'
Bella tried to think of how it might feel to be a wandering soul, trapped somewhere, lingering and alone. It took little to empathize with his point of view. Bella had spent much of the last year feeling invisible, in very physical pain she couldn't cure alone. Jacob had helped her the most, but it had taken all her boys to make it this far. It made her feel angry for Harry, for Leah having to watch her father forced to suffer - whether or not the dreams were real.
Mistaking her silence for judgment, Leah huffed, " See? I knew you'd probably think I'm nuts, too."
"I don't think you're nuts," Bella said, tugging at Leah's hand as she moved to stand. "Don't rush off… just tell me the rest, okay? I'm just trying to understand."
Leah pulled her legs back under her. "You swear?"
"I promise," Bella swore.
Leah calmed herself by tugging at a loose thread in her sock as she said, "They make me so mad, Bella. He wants to go. It isn't a medically induced coma. His brain activity is almost nonexistent. He will not wake up. He told me that in my first dream about him right after it happened. Dad has had strokes since the heart attack. Multiple. Machines keep him alive, and he keeps telling me, 'Turn them off. Turn them off."
She looked up at Bella then, her eyes welled with bitter tears. "He's incessant, and it's every-single-fucking-night, for weeks now. Except for the other night when I slept here. It's the first time I didn't dream about him. Now, I don't know what that means, but…"
Oddly enough, Bella hadn't dreamed that night either. In fact, she couldn't recall dreaming next to Leah, ever. Strange.
Leah let go of Bella's hand to comb her hair back with both hands as she blinked back tears. "I begged Mom and Seth to let him go. S eth started screaming at me. 'How can you say that? Do you want him to die? Don't you care?' And then my mom? She just shook her head at me like I was being intentionally cruel and wouldn't say a fucking word while Seth started throwing shit and stormed out of the house."
"That little shit," Bella said, immediately angered by Seth's reaction. "You're not just trying to brush this shit off. Your dad is suffering. You're all suffering, but you're the one he's reaching out to because they won't listen. How can anyone get closure if he's not at peace? How do they not get that?"
Leah practically tackled her as she pushed Bella onto her back, wrapped her arms around Bella's torso, and sobbed. Bella wasn't sure what she'd said that made her friend finally break down, but she held Leah tighter and rubbed her back as she let her cry.
It took a few minutes for Leah to calm down. She stubbornly remained in her awkward position the entire time. Eventually, she sat up and sighed, wiping away tear streaks without a hint of running eyeliner despite her heavy makeup. It was an odd time to think about it, but Bella hoped her new brands held up that well.
Leah's voice cracked as she sniffled and said, "Thanks."
"I don't know what you're thanking me for," Bella said as she sat up again, "but if it's for being on your side…you never have to thank me for having your back. I'm here, okay?"
Leah nodded as she sniffled again and carefully reached for her sneakers. "I guess I should get home. I need to get some shit done before work in the morning."
"Yeah? Okay," Bella said, barely hiding her disappointment, not wanting her to leave. "You can stay if you want."
"Thanks for the offer," Leah said as she slipped on her sneakers and stood. "I can't tonight, but I will soon. Probably Saturday if I'm off."
Bella carefully stood and started inspecting the bags on the floor. "I'll gather what's yours real quick…"
"Don't bother," Leah said, forcing herself to smile for Bella. "Save what's here for Angela's party. If I have to work Saturday, I can just get ready over here again."
Bella grinned. "You can get ready here whether you work or not. No biggie."
"Cool." Leah hugged Bella tight, then left the room without another word.
Bella watched her closed bedroom door until she heard Leah's Cavalier fire up outside. With that, she went to work, putting everything away.