cheng xiaoshi's eyes catch on the window display as he and lu guang walk past, groceries in hand.
the display is for a set of soft-looking plush toys that the store is beginning to sell, and ahead of them, a girl exits, chattering excitedly while she clutches one of the plushies in one hand and her father's in the other.
he tries not to stare at them too long, all too suddenly aware of how old he is. he's turning 22 this year, in a few days' time. too old, certainly, for sweet, soft things, and too old, certainly, to ask for someone to hold his hand before crossing the street.
"cheng xiaoshi?"
he blinks, and laughs a little, running his hand through his hair. "sorry," he says, trying not to let heartache squeeze his throat shut. "got a little lost for a second, there."
lu guang nods, giving the display an indecipherable look before holding his hand out for cheng xiaoshi to take. "well, someone has to make sure you don't get lost on our way home."
cheng xiaoshi's breath catches. then, he beams, reaching forward to link their hands together.
"and don't i know just the man to do it!" he exclaims, swinging their clasped hands back and forth between them. in a quieter voice, but with a smile no less bright, cheng xiaoshi continues, squeezing lu guang's hand in his, "i know i'll never lose my way with lu guang around."
lu guang squeezes back with a hint of a smile playing on his lips.
and, as it turns out, perhaps he isn't too old for the sweet and soft things— or at least, his friends don't seem to think so, because a few days later finds him with one of those dog plushies in hand.
he runs his fingers over the black fabric, throat and heart full over the birthday gift qiao ling and lu guang had gotten him. "i mean, it was mostly lu guang's idea, since he saw you looking at it the other day. so, if there's anyone to thank, it's him!" says qiao ling.
cheng xiaoshi's eyes find lu guang's, too overcome to tease, even a little. he smiles, instead. "i really can't get lost with you around, can i?"
lu guang crosses his arms, looking away, blushing to his ears. "i guess not."
qiao ling looks curiously between the two of them.
then, she says, "i'm not gonna pretend to know what that's all about." she claps her hands together. "anyways, let's take a photo!"
so here's what cheng xiaoshi will remember of that day: cake, and the party hat stretching under his chin, putting frosting on lu guang's crinkled nose while he sat very still and allowed it, qiao ling pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead before she leaves, and throughout it all, the warm, steady weight in his arms of his friends' gift to him, gently reminding him that he's loved, that they will always be there to guide him home, that he's never too old to ask someone to take his hand.
"yeah, that was a pretty good birthday," he'll think, when looking at the photos, and he'll find it harder and harder on those days to feel the ache of his parents' absence.
especially with the rest of his family right here.
a/n: hi, author here! i got nostalgic for my account after realizing that i posted my very first fanfic ever on here over 10 years ago (crazy!) and so i decided to just. idk. fuck around a bit. i don't expect anyone to see this. in the case that someone does, though, I WRITE UNDER CAT-SODA NOW. WHEN I POST IT ON AO3 IT WILL BE UNDER CXSKISSER. I DID NOT STEAL THIS, NOBODY STOLE SHIT, I'M JUST HAVING A LAUGH.