I was running, running from her, from the darkness. My arms were grabbed.

"My wings. She took my wings!" His hallow eyes cried tears of blood. "Why didn't you save me?" His hands were so bloodied they left trails down my arms. I pulled away and another took hold. I stifled a gasp at the red haired high Fea.

"He broke me, he broke my mind." The red-haired Fae looked dead faced. "You did nothing!" He dropped to his knees, falling to the side. My hands shook, knees threatening to buckle.

They melted into the black tar floor. Trying to move but I was pulled down with it. Into the labyrinth. I scrambled to get up. I heard the wyrm, Behemoth, I reached for the weapons, but they did not exist. It was gaining on me, its teeth at my neck. "You killed me, you let her win. We were supposed to be friends until the end. The end you made after your abandonment." His mouth clamped down, swallowing me whole.

I jerked forward, breathing hard. I held my chest, trying to stop my heart from escaping. Once I seen my surroundings, I froze. The room had burned and iced over. Things whipped in to the shadows dropped. All except the little circle around me. Black shadows flowed back in me and to the walls.

They dissipated as I curled up and hugged my knees. This room now looked like the one at Tamlin's court. I allowed no one in that room. I locked it when I left, and I hoped no one would see it while I was gone. I held my chest; the pain was back.

This secret I had kept hidden for over a month. The first time I woke up, I did not leave the room in fear of doing it to the whole house. When I drank, it happened in lesser variables. It wasn't as wild or too far gone. I only assumed the wine subdued me.

This is the second time I have been destroying things in his home. I felt soon he would just drop me off and tell Tamlin to deal with me. Leave me as he had done before. I knew it was a problem, and I had no way to contain it, not completely. I gritted as the waves of pain pounded through my body.

"Cali!" Rhysand swung the door open, and I dropped my head to my knees.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it." Delicate fingers placed a blanket around me as Morrigan hugged me.

She spoke softly. "Your fine, come, let's get you cleaned up and then I can show you around the house."

"I don't trust myself. I can't. If you stay around me, I'll end up hurting you all or worse."

She held me at arm's length. The view allowed me to see Rhysand surveying the damage this time. "I will be fine. I promise. Rhysand, you can leave now, she's fine."

"You were not kidding in your threat to burn my court down." He mused, not of anger, but in still calmness.

"Rhys!" She hissed.

He put his hands in his pockets. "I'm leaving, at least this is not as bad as the first."

"Rhysand!" She waved him away, and he sauntered out the door.

"It's fine." I looked out the window. "Maybe I will get lucky, and it will consume me one of these nights and this burden will no longer exist."

"You are not a burden."

She took my hand and dragged me from bed. The clothes had burned, and there was perfectly cut out holes that ranged in sizes. It was not mine either, it looked like a nightgown. I did not speak as she pulled me into the bathroom, looking at the floor, I seen her all bloodied like she had been beaten half to death.

I didn't want to do this, I wanted to lay in bed, not sleep, but trying to figure this out. If I didn't, I would become a Calamity not just in name, but in power. The pain was falling away, and I did my best to not let it show.

She pulled the nightgown off, and I closed my eyes tight. Pushing me to get in the bath, cleaned me, all while I pretended to not be here, that she was just a figure of imagination. I couldn't look at her or anyone, every time I glanced, I saw death. Bloodied face and hands, cuts along her jaw and cheeks.

I pushed it to the side. Green grass, birds singing, pretty skies. Anything without a person in the frame, but it was hard. Not with every touch or grazing of skin and hers. I did not understand why she was so attentive. She should be throwing me from the mountain with a face of pleasure and good riddance.

She dried me off, clothed me, brushed my hair and tied it half back. "You'll have to open your eyes now if you want to see the house."

"Am I away from a mirror?"

"Yes." I turned my head, looking away from her voice. "Okay, let's go." This palace was no help, the walls and floors were shinny and reflective like a mirror.

Rhysand was outside the door leaned against the wall, I gasped. I had to look away. His wings were broken and to his sides twitching. Clothes wet with blood, and as I peered at the ground, a puddle of blood was growing. Drips from his pants, and wings.

"It's alright, I can have it fixed."

"Would it be too much to ask that I explore alone?"

Drip, drip, drip. I stepped away, closing my eyes tightly.

I felt his tug on the bond and heard his soft voice. "What's wrong? Why do you shy away?" I shook my head. "I can't help unless you tell me what's wrong. Is it Tamlin? Is he hurting you?"

"You, her, I…" Images flashed over my eyes, I could sense him, his saddened emotions over that bond.

"Think of how I looked fire night." I let those thoughts flow, his perfect jaw, those violet eyes. Full lips I pushed away.

I felt his chuckle. "Good, now look up and see me."

I started at his feet, there was no longer blood dripping, no wings on display. As I gazed up, a perfect smile lay on his face.

"See. I'm okay. Mor is okay too." I peered to the walls, not waterfalls that streamed down.

"Those things are not what's going to happen, but I fear I might mess up and that's what will happen." I checked the ceiling, the walls, no drips from there either.

"I'm a very powerful high lord, it will take a lot to kill me."

I turned on my heels. "Don't winnow, and don't trust the mortal queens. Hybern is tracking you, and the queen's side with them." I listened to the piano, and I walked off down the hallway.

In the living room, or at least what seemed like one, my books lay in a neat pile on added. He had given it back. I felt more at ease that he would do such a thing for me. It still did not stop the thoughts that he did not care for me.

I was useful, I helped him, no regards to myself. I gave him what he wanted, and my calling to him gave him was an excuse to use that desperate attempt to escape for more information. I liked him, so much more than I should have. it was subtle, but it broke a piece of my heart.

For however unreal it was to him, it felt real to me. It shouldn't. I was an act, but in my mind, it felt so real. Tears had formed in my eyes; I should not be this hung up. He only did it to save himself and make sure I too came out alive.

I picked them all up, wiping my face with him watching out of the corner of my eye. Bundling the egg up, I carried it, the books and looked around until I found the kitchen. All while the piano played in the background. I did not see any servants here. No one to tell me no or push me out.

I opened the cabinets, then drawers, and the fridge. I set out a bunch of things, found the pans. Viewing Rhysand out of the corner of my eye. He followed me, now he rested on the frame of the kitchen threshold, I glared at him.

The more he is around me, the harder it is to not tell him I had liked him. To see if there was a chance that maybe, just maybe, he had some assembles of likeness to me. I threw it over my shoulder like spilled salt. There was no chance, and so, I hardened my gaze, showing my annoyance to his presence.

"If you're hungry I can…"

"No." I had to make him leave, if he keeps talking, I'll cave, I'll have hope again. "I don't get to do this at Tamlin's place. I want to." I turned my back on him, because I couldn't look at his face. Not after he knew I found him attractive. He seen; he probably heard too.

Now was the matter of, if he would toy with the thought or brush it off.

"Alright, then might I stick around and watch what you cook?"

My shoulders formed ice. "I prefer a lonely existence."

"Is it because of the nightmares showed me?" I nodded slowly as I mixed dry ingredients together, eye balling them. "Nightmares that don't end even when you wake up." I nodded again, as he walked around the counter of the kitchen to a dining room. Where he could see me face to face. "When did they start?"

I paused, hands on the counter. "Before the mountain, only after the wing less fairy was dumped on the boarders. I can still see his eyes, his voice as he cried out in pain." I added eggs and milk, then whispered. "My wings, she took my wings." I stirred it all together. "I sang to him the same song I hummed to the wyrm as he slowly passed away. Choking on his own blood, he smiled. He looked happy, at peace with what was happening. Anyways, I took her hand as payback for taking his wings. The one with the ring attached."

"Why sacrifice yourself like that, you had the whole thing in the bag, yet you let her hurt you, kill you."

"You got the ring, right?"

He nodded. "And all three legs as requested, but what I want to know, is why? You did not answer why you sacrificed yourself like that. In that manner when it was not necessary. Was life not worth living anymore after three measly months."

"I had to or the Attor would have taken the ring. The eye ring has his soul attached. With it and his finger, they could be dropped in a completed cauldron, thus he could be reborn. The cauldron spills life, but only with breath." As I peeked, I could see how unhappy he was with my answer.

"Why mention the mortal queens?"

I thought for a second, staring out the open window. Fresh winter air came in and was warmed by the magic as it trickled over my face. "I… Don't remember. I just know they side with Hybern, and you do something that makes a city see devastation."

"What city?"

"Uh, a pretty one. I saw a mountain with three stars, uhm… There was a lot of art." I tapped my head. "They come in from seaport. I saw small glimpses when I left my body. Just before I was snapped back. I wrote down the important stuff to prevent it and handed it to you."

"Why do you trust me so much with all this information. In fact, you had a great trust in me since our first meeting on fire night."

I poured batter into the pan, smiling at the sizzle. I had been dying for these for a while, no one cared enough to listen and do it for me. "You ask an awful lot of questions."

I looked for syrup. Smelling everything, finding a thick liquid in the cabinets that smeled sweet, I tasted it. My lips twitched at how sweet it was. My shadows followed him, telling me what he was doing. He had relaxed in his chair, one leg crossed over the other as he tapped his fingernails on the table.

"Rhys, I don't remember a whole lot. The longer I am here, the more I forget. It's why I write it all down. This writing… This language." I held a hand over the books. "Is the only thing I have not forgotten. So, if you see me doing it, let me flow. Because as soon as it comes, it can also go. Drinking sparks things too.

"Before I broke that stupid curse, to which I still do not know how, because I don't think I ever truly loved him, on top of not actually killing or hating the Fae. I had a few glasses that night. I remembered I could play the violin, as well as my name." I smiled. "I think that was my favorite discovery. Because it was the one I wanted most. I wanted to know who I was if in name only."

I took the pancake out and started on another one, he was silent as I finished up.

"Are you hungry? I made plenty." I was trying to tread lightly, especially after destroying the house twice and within the first day. Pancakes for peace.

His eyes widened, "You made some for me?"

I tilted my head. "I mean, I got a little carried away. It's more than I can eat by myself."

"I'll try this food of yours. I assume it's from your books."

I grinned, taking things to the table. "They are called pancakes." I made him a plate. "You put the syrup over it. Oh, and you can add butter. Like this. It's a preference thing." I spread the butter between them and on top, dumping the syrup on top, more than I needed. I handed him a fork, that scent of citrus and the sea hit me. He smelled so good, the tinge of happiness hit, and I looked down.

"One thing I have not had in a while, that I crave, is deep fried food. It's so easy to make too, super fatting though. Fried chicken, and fish cutlets. French fries. Oh, and the batter from this can be used to coat a certain type of cookie and be fried as well. Or funnel cakes, man, a deep fried twinkie." I reminisced about that food, taking a bite.

"Here I think your starving, looking thin, and you talk like that."

My mouth watered; my taste buds were bouncing. I felt the tears of joy threaten to burst. "It was the drinking. The pro to the con. I don't see the bloody faces, my power is managed, I get to remember, but I get so sick, I can't eat. How does it taste?"

"Not bad, it's different. I think I could grow to like this."

"Where I'm from, this is considered a breakfast item."

"More like desert."

I laughed. "Yeah, some things are a bit different. Most of the things you have for breakfast is similar. Is there a library here?"

"There is, but do you know how to read our language?"

"Yeah, it's the first thing I learned." I took huge bite, syrup dribbling down my chin.

"The second trial you…" I raised my eyebrows, wiping the syrup. "Knew already." I nodded, licking my fingers. "Why did you wait to answer?"

"I… I had watched… It's fine, I'm fine." I finished my food. All the while he watched me.

"I have to go; they found the third leg."

"I thought you said you had them all."

"We were close, it takes time to track the temples. You did not exactly give coordinates, just courts. Though it was still helpful. We had to check them all." He windowed out. We. I wondered who he was working with.

Was he mad about the lack of information? I analyzed the words, turned them over, not mad, not frustrated. Then my Is that what he was hoping for, that I tell him things?

I looked down, I had one use: information. I looked all over the house, seeing every room. Never went down the stairs. It was like being in Tamlin's house, but much quieter. I had more walking range; I did not have to hide in two rooms. I had a whole house mountain penthouse.

I wondered if he would allow me to stay, between the chaos and all I was.