Sten

I am caught in a swirling darkness like a vast whirlpool. At first, I struggle to free myself, but then I realize that whatever fate the Qun has for me, it is something that I should accept. I do not know if I will perish, but I must embrace my destiny.

Shok ebasit hissra…the tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. There is nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun.

I close my eyes and exhale as the vortex spins around me. Live or die, I have already won.

The feeling of vertigo fades slowly and I crack my eyes open, wondering where I have been swept to. I try to remember where I had just been, but the images are faint. I picture a tower and a lake. I can see the face of a woman in my head – she has black hair, something unknown among the Qunari. She is human. I remember that my respect for the humans is not great, but this one is different. She fights with a fire and a skill that is rare, even among my kind.

Through my squinted eyes I now see freshly trimmed grass and I stand amid a strange and alien city with white walls made of some unknown material. It has an order to it similar to the domains of Par Vollen and Seheron. I feel some comfort here as the Qun professes an order to all things and all things have their place in the world. The humans, the elves, and the dwarves fail to understand this, which is why the Kithshok, or commander of the Qunari armies, must one day bring them enlightenment, by the sword if necessary. They will understand and they will embrace as they should.

Then, there is movement in the empty city and I begin to see figures walking about, translucent at first, as if they are spirits, but they solidify and I see that they are human. One of them, a man with a weather-beaten face and a mustache, nods to me. "Sten."

I do not know him and wonder how it is that he knows me. I do not respond and he walks past me without a smile. I turn, about to ask him where I am and how we know each other, but I hear screams in the distance. In a moment, panicked people begin to run past me as the mustached man dashes for an open door. I see a dark cloud on the horizon that quickly blooms into a swarm of large flying insects. I reach for my sword, but the creatures are upon me, blackening out the sky like a plague of locusts. I swat one with my hand and then feel a sting on my neck. A second later my muscles tighten and I fall to the ground, unable to move, except for my eyes.

I see the man at the door, flailing his arms. "They got Lilith! They got Sten too!" he shouts and then shuts the door, sealing himself inside a building. The swarm passes, but I am paralyzed. I see the frozen forms of dozens of people lying around me, each of us captives in our own bodies. Then, man-sized creatures, as grotesque as the Darkspawn, enter the scene and begin to put the bodies into pods. What horror is this? One of them, a giant gray insect with a massive head and many tiny eyes, looks down at me. I am at his mercy. I cannot imagine a worse fate. He laughs and, for a moment I see the insect creature shimmer to be replaced by a dark being with scaly, pulpy skin - The demon from the tower. Now I remember.

The demon stoops over me and shuts my eyes with his hand. "I am sorry, Sten. I meant to send you to a better place. Rest easy now," he says in a slow, slothful tone. "You have had your victory. Return now to the Beresaad and find the embrace of your fellow warriors. You have done your duty."

All of my fears and doubts begin to slip away and I feel at ease. I feel a touch on my cheek and I open my eyes. The city and the swarm are gone and I am now on a beach where I can hear the roar of the waves and feel the grit of sand on my skin. I blink and my fingers twitch. I can move again. I shake the yellow grains from my head and hair and prop myself up. I can feel the warm sunlight and the spray of seawater.

"How did I…?" Somehow, I am back in Seheron. I take a deep breath, the smell of salt heavy on the breeze. I can see the ships of the Qunari fleet at anchor just offshore. Flag and banners of anaan, or victory, fly over the canvas sails and wooden masts and I know that we have conquered. But conquered what?

"Sten," I hear a voice say. I turn and see the soldiers of the Beresaad, the very people that I left Seheron with. How can this be? I…I seem to recall that they were all killed. In the dim recesses of my mind I can see their bodies being torn apart by Darkspawn. But yet, here they are, stoic with the proud bearings of Qunari warriors. They sit in the sand beside me, unslinging their scabbards and laying them in their laps. "We have done our duty well, Sten," one says to me, addressing me as his leader.

"What duty?" I ask, incredulous. "We were defeated. You were killed by Darkspawn during our first battle in Ferelden. I am…I am shamed."

My Ashaad, or scout, smirks at me. "How can that be, Sten, when we are here with you. We defeated the Darkspawn and have made our report to the Arishok. We are to be honored. How can you deny our presence?"

"I cannot," I say and reach out to touch him. He is solid and his words are true. Though this seems to be a dream, I cannot deny Ashaad's foundation in the Qun. They are here. They are real. This must be accepted. Still, I cannot shake an uneasy feeling. A flash of memory shoots through my mind. "The Asala…my sword, it was lost." I try to stifle a horrified look, but I fail. I reach behind my back on pure instinct and find the handle of the Asala. Somehow, I know I had lost my place among the Qunari, my very soul, but yet, there it was in its scabbard.

Ashaad shakes his head. "No, Sten, you found it."

I nod slowly as my mind clears of the momentary panic. "No, she found it. She returned it to me." I see the woman from my earlier vision, presenting me with the weapon. In the memory she doesn't smile, but we make eye contact, warrior to warrior. I wrap my large hand around the scabbard and reclaim my soul.

With a sigh the image fades and I sit upright and pull the sword from its sheath. I feel the familiar long draw and heavy weight of the blue steel blade. As the tip clears, I bring the weapon around in front of me and hold it in before my face. The sunlight glitters on the surface of the well oiled metal, rippling like the surface of the sea. I know every knick and scuff along this blade and everything is where it should be…everything is as it should be. I accept what Ashaad has told me. I have done my duty for the Qun. I have earned my rest.