Hermione flipped her hair erotically, and then batted her eyelashes erotically. Henry leaned back in bed and breathed fatly, rivulets of sweat running down his forehead.
"I've never met a woman like you, Hermyninny," huffed Lord Harry. "You are England's most amazing witch with a b. Perhaps my prayers for the death of Ron Weasley will finally be answered..."
Hermione got up and lifted an eyebrow archly, one corner of her mouth turning up in a nymph-ish smile. She wore a dress made out of material. The room had furniture and chairs in it. The chairs had legs.
"A book reading, my lord, to commemorate this moment?"
"Ah, book reading..." said Henry. "It's like words to my ears." He lifted a glass. "Speak on."
Hermione cast her eyes to the ceiling and slowly lifted her arms, like a noble bird spreading its wing and taking flight into a word of fanciful poetry.
Rose are red
Violets are blue
This post-coital poem
Was written for you
I am like a magical goddess
That makes my sex more epic
The other Weasleys are haters
And they're just jealous I'm a DILF lover
I stopped trying to make this
Work as a poem because I got bored after
Like two seconds but I think you get the
Jizz i mean gist of it
Harry sat up and clapped in bed.
"Very good, Hermyninny, very good!" He curled a finger under his chin. "But what doth 'epic' mean?"
She smiled demurely and said: "It means big. Bold." She drew closer. "Vast, expansive." She crawled onto the bed towards him. "Like the oceans or the skies. Or a big tree." She put her face inches from his. "Like our love."
"Ok, if you say so." He checked his watch. It was be a bad wizard and get in trouble o'clock. The only thing he was capable of paying attention to was himself. Lord Harry is bad.
Hermyninny got off the bed with a rustle of her robes. She looked over her shoulder. "Excuse me while I powder my nose?"
"Of course, of course. Poor woman," he murmured to himself when she was gone. "She doesn't even realize her nose has fallen off from DILF pheromones."
Meanwhile, in the hall outside, Hermione laughed to herself.
"Ahahaha!" she cackled. "Now I will have unlimited attention! Now he will maim the Weasleys who gave him the map!"
But Ginny was hiding in a suit a suit of armor and overheard Hermione.
A/N: What will happen next? READ THE NEXT CHAPTER TO FIND OUT!