Chapter 12: Ellie

It was growing late as I waited around for Tommy to come home from work. I knew he was planning on going out after his shift, but I didn't realize it would be as late as it was. It was close to midnight at this point, and wine had become my companion. I was close to finishing up a whole bottle, as I had been indulging since dinner. I felt light, and relaxed, enjoying some time to myself doing absolutely nothing.

The first week at our new apartment had gone by quickly. While Tommy worked all day, I spent time turning the apartment into a home. There were many flea markets and auctions that sold used furniture for cheap and I took complete advantage. The roll of twenties handed off to us by Rose was slowly getting used up by my purchases, but there was still a decent amount thanks to my frugality. Our kitchen now had a small wooden table with matching whicker chairs, the table being a bit scratched up but useable, and our cabinets were filled with cookware and dishes. I was proud of a red, velvet sofa I stumbled upon that matched our parlor well. There were some questionable stains on it, but they were nearly faded by the time I was done scrubbing it. I prayed the stains weren't from someone who died or god knows what else, but it was such a good price. Never would I have thought that I would enjoy thrifting so much. Every piece of furniture seemed to tell a story and have its own history. I liked to imagine where each piece came from, who could have possibly owned it. Exploring the markets filled my days this past week and kept me busy.

The only items I purchased that were completely new was a feather mattress, linens, and pillows for our bed which I had purchased earlier this afternoon. Those were things I refused to barter on.

My plan was to break in that new mattress when Tommy got home this evening. The wine was making me feel good, and I did cave a bit in purchasing a very sheer silk and lace black negligee, long enough that it drug on the floor. It was quite low cut, and did not leave much to the imagination. I decided I would wait til wear it til after we were married, but then I thought the hell with it. I left my hair loose and flowing and even decided to throw on makeup, an extremely rare occurrence. I had the time, so I thought it would be fun to experiment. My lips were painted a dark red, eyes were smokey with dark eye shadow and eyeliner on my top lid. I felt like a lady of the evening, but I felt such a confidence within myself. It felt good being wanted in such a way, and after living in someone else's home for the past five months, it was difficult not to take advantage of time alone together, although we really didn't have much time with the long hours Tommy was working. He would usually be asleep right after dinner. I was thankful he had a day off tomorrow.

My last glass of wine had officially finished off the bottle and almost myself, as my eyelids grew heavier and heavier as I sat at the kitchen table. The doorknob jiggling startled me, and I quickly jumped awake.

"Mr. Ryan, you're lucky I didn't fall asleep here," I called out, standing in the doorway, standing up straight, "How dare you keep me waiting."

But as he opened the door, he wasn't alone.

I nearly fell over when sister appeared behind him. I suddenly felt extremely sober, and I covered myself up quickly, pulling my negligee tightly over my chest.

"My my, look at you," she beamed, laughing. Her copper hair cascaded down past her shoulders, and she wore a lavender nightdress and white coat. She glowed.

"Found your sister," Tommy coughed awkwardly after looking me up and down.

"Rose!" I ran past him and towards her giving her the biggest hug I could imagine.

That's when I realized hugging her didn't feel the same. She was bigger. I looked down and that's when I noticed how her stomach had grown to a small, perfectly rounded sphere.

"My god...are you-"

"Let's sit down," she said, cutting me off. I looked over at Tommy in confusion.

"I'm uh- I'll let you two catch up," he said, stumbling over his words a bit. I couldn't tell if he was at a loss for words when it came to my attire or the clear situation Rose had found herself in. He quickly went past us and headed to the bedroom.

"How far along are you?" I asked quietly as we sat on the sofa.

"Almost five months," her demeanor had changed now. The excitement from reuniting had shifted, and I could suddenly see the exhaustion worn on her face.

"Please don't tell me it's Cal's."

"God, no, no-" she shook her head vigorously, "It's Jack's."

"But how-"

"It was the night of the sinking," tears started steaming from her sea-green eyes, "God, Ellie, I don't know what to do."

All I wanted to do was hold her. She didn't have to say anymore. I clutched onto her tightly as she cried into my shoulder.

"It's alright, Rose. You'll get through this, you're not alone."

"He's supposed to be here, Ellie. I can't do this without him," her sobs grew louder.

"I know," I gently pet her hair, attempting to soothe her, "I'm so sorry."

"I'm so stupid for letting this happen. I don't know what I was thinking."

"Don't you say that. Don't you ever feel ashamed for loving someone as deeply as you did."

"Did?" She looked up at me, "I still do."

I sighed, wiping the tears from her face.

"You always will."

"A child needs their father, Ellie, I can't provide that," her voice was shaky, "I know nothing when it comes to raising children."

"You're not alone, Rose."

"I'm not strong enough to handle this."

"Yes you are," I could feel the big sister in me coming out now, "You're stronger than you realize. That baby needs you more than anything. You can wallow in self pity all you want, but that doesn't change the fact that baby will be here in a few short months. You're not alone in this," I took her hand, squeezing it tight, "That's my niece or nephew in there. And I promise you, even though their father cannot be by their side, they will know nothing but love."

She was quiet for a few moments as her crying began to subside, taking a few breaths to calm down as she stared at the wall across from us.

"I'm just so scared," she softly lamented.

"I know. But I'm here now."

"I don't want to be a burden."

"Nonsense. You're my sister. You could never be a burden," I kissed the top of her head, reassuring her, "You're staying with us. This is your home now. I'll talk to Tommy and-"

"He won't need much convincing," she laughed a bit, wiping the very last of her tears, "He already insisted I stay."

"He did?" I was touched.

"Yes," she nodded, "First thing he said when I saw him 'Pack your bag, you're comin' with me' and that was that."

"Well he's a stubborn one so you have no choice," I smiled and brought her in for another hug, "We'll help you in whatever way we can."

"I already can't thank you enough."

"No need. I just wish you came here sooner."

"I thought I could handle it but it has been tough," she sighed, "I had a job for awhile over at a textile mill. I've been trying to save up to head out to Santa Monica. But once I realized I was pregnant, I couldn't keep up with the work. I've been throwing up constantly. I hid it for awhile the best I could, but once I started showing they let me go."

"Jesus," I shook my head, "So where have you been staying?"

"I had a small place when I first started out but once I was let go, a friend of mine from the mill, Marion, took me in," she replied, "Her husband works with Tommy. That's how he found me."

"Small world."

"It really is," she let out a deep breath, running her hand through her hair, "But I'm relieved I'm here now. I felt guilty enough staying there with them having three kids of their own."

"You could have stayed with us from the start."

"I know that, but I just-" she paused for a moment, "I really wanted to be on my own. I needed my own space."

"I understand. I'm just happy you're here and you're safe," I held onto her again, thanking God I had my sister back.

All I wanted to do was to protect her. It hurt seeing the pain in her eyes from all of this. She had already been through so much, even before Titanic.

"Me too, Ellie," she said in almost a whisper, "Me too."

We sat there in silence as I held her tightly, hoping I could give her all the comfort in the world.

"I love you."

"I love you too," she gave a small smile, "Now enough about me, what's been going on with you?"

"Oh, there's not much," I shrugged her off, standing up, "We can talk more tomorrow, it's so late and you should get some rest."

"I barley get any sleep nowadays with this one kicking around," she stood up as well, "I'm fine."

"Ridiculous, you need your sleep," I headed towards the bedroom and she followed.

Tommy was half asleep on top of the bed, his hat covering his face.

"Hey you," I snapped my fingers, waking him up.

"Hm?" He mumbled.

"Out, Rose is going to have the bed. We'll have the couch."

"Ellie, you don't need to do that," she shook her head.

"Nonsense, you get the bed. I want you comfortable. There's fresh linens on there, you just relax."

"When did we get a mattress?" Tommy sat up, rubbing his eyes awake, "It ain't half bad."

"Earlier today," I took his hand, pulling him off, "Go get some sleep, Rose. Let us know if you need anything."

"Alright," she nodded, "Thank you both. For everything."

"Don't mention it," Tommy waved, still out of it. I gave her a warm smile before saying goodnight and shutting the door.

We made our way out to the living room where Tommy collapsed on the couch. He was more awake now, his eyes back on me.

"Not fair you're dressed like that with your sister in the other room."

"Well you'll have to control yourself," I grabbed a blanket from the corner of the room before snuggling into his arms in a spooning position, attempting to fit onto the sofa. It was a really tight squeeze, both our feet hanging off the edge. He pulled me right up against him.

"We could probably get away with it if you could learn to be quiet," I could hear the devilish grin in his voice. I could feel my face blush as I nudged him with my shoulder.

"Not happening tonight, mister."

"You're killin' me."

"Oh well."

"God damned temptress," he ruffled my hair, making me giggle a bit.

"On a serious note, thank you for bringing her here," I redirected the conversation.

"You don't have to thank me for that, don't be ridiculous."

"It means a lot to me that you're alright with her staying here. I know it's barely enough space here for the two of us."

"She's your sister, El, she's pregnant. And if you think about it, you easily could've been in her shoes. I mean, if things took a different route that night..." his voice trailed off, and I could tell this was something he did not want to elaborate on. I understood his point.

"I know. But can we afford having two more mouths to feed here?"

"We make it work. I'll take extra shifts if needed. Work overtime if that's option."

"I could always look for a job too."

"No, your sister needs you. You take care of her. That baby will be here in no time."

I was taken aback by how calm he was with the whole situation, how we was so willing to bring on extra work for himself just to help my sister, a woman that he honestly did not know extremely well. The fact that he would go the extra mile to take care of my own family touched me tremendously.

He really did love me.

"You're a good man, Tommy."

"I try."

"I mean it," I turned my face towards him, looking into his dark brown eyes I adored, "I love you so much."

"I love you too," he leaned close and kissed me deeply. I pulled away slightly after a few moments, smiling.

"Kissing me like that only leads to no good."

"I know," he grinned. I shifted myself so I was laying on my side, being able to rest my head on his chest, hearing his heart beat. I reached for his hand and held it tightly.

"Get some sleep, you trouble maker," my eyes had become heavy once again, exhaustion was taking over at this point.

"Fine," he kissed the top of my head, "Goodnight, love."

"Goodnight."

As always, thank you for reading! And please, if you're here please don't forget to drop a review! I love hearing from you guys and I appreciate you all!