Chapter 14: Ellie
Months of baby preparation had flown by faster than I ever could have imagined. I had to adjust to the fact that a new year had started, and we were officially in the very beginning of 1913. Our apartment was packed with baby items, generously given by Sarah. Clothing, bottles, diapers, you name it, all seemed to be scattered about and the baby wasn't even here yet. We officially gave Rose our bedroom, and had a wooden bassinet set up at her bedside. The couch had become less comfortable as the weeks went on, so we purchased another twin size bed we managed to fit against the wall in between the parlor and kitchen. It was cramped, but I was proud we could make it work.
Now all we had to do was wait. Any day now, my little niece or nephew would be here. Considering the circumstances, Rose was doing quite well. As the day came closer, she seemed to be more optimistic than the day before. She kept her head held high. I knew she would be a great mother and already loved that child more than anything. She was a fighter.
"It's cold in here, isn't it?" Rose broke me from my passing thoughts I fell into as I was folding laundry on my bed. She briskly entered the parlor, a blanket wrapped around her tightly. She slowly crouched near the fire place, reaching out for a log to keep our fire going.
"Hey, you stop that," I scolded, standing up, "I got it, you need to be resting."
"I'm fine, you've been watching me like a hawk these past few weeks," she rolled her eyes, stepping aside as I tossed a log in and attempted to stoke the flames.
"I need to be with you bending and lifting like that."
"I'm fine," she reiterated, taking a seat on the couch, "You know I met with the midwife yesterday, everything looks good."
"Yes, and she would be scolding you too if she saw you tending to a fire."
Sarah had introduced Rose to the same midwife that birthed Lizzie and James. Now that she was getting closer to birth, she had been meeting with her once a week. Her name was Emma, and she was a godsend. She had birthed dozens of babies, and had a keen interest in herbal remedies for pregnancy ailments. Thanks to her ginger mixture, Rose's nausea and vomiting she struggled with the first half of her pregnancy subsided.
"I can't just lay in bed all day, I still have my legs. I'm not an invalid," she scoffed. I gave her a small smile, taking a seat on the floor near the fire.
"Rose, you've earned the right to take it easy for a bit. Take advantage of it while you can."
"I feel like all I do is take it easy anymore. You're the one that's been running around like crazy getting things in order around here."
"You're busy growing a human being! That is no easy feat."
"Have you even taken a minute to yourself lately?" She asked. I shrugged in response. "I thought so. You haven't even said a word in regard to your wedding."
"We'll cross that bridge when we get to it."
"And what, have a ten year engagement?"
"We've been a little occupied at the moment," I laughed, "There's no need to rush it."
Rose opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the door flinging open abruptly by Sarah and her children by her side.
"You're getting married today, Ellie!" she exclaimed, as if she was just listening to our conversation. I blinked in confusion as Lizzie ran into my arms for a hug.
"Uh, hello to you too. What on earth are you talking about?"
"Father McKenzie has agreed to marry you today. He has an opening."
"Sarah, I thought we already discussed there was no way a Catholic priest would agree to marry us."
"That may be true, but Father O'Riley is young and lenient. He also owes me more than enough favors after all I've done for his parish."
"You're serious?"
My heart rate began to speed up a bit. It was true, Tommy and I hadn't really discussed any serious wedding plans since our engagement. We knew it would be small, and we were also aware it would be difficult finding a minister to marry us, with me not being Catholic and all. There was a church I attended back in Philadelphia I considered briefly, but I was unsure of who was leading it currently. And frankly, I didn't want to make an appearance in Philadelphia where I could easily run into people that knew me and my family.
But just because it was on the back burner did not mean I wanted it any less.
"Yes, I'm serious! I've been houndin' him for months to get my nephew married. Now that the holidays are over, his schedule is open."
"Well today just got exciting!" Rose lit up, bringing her hands up to her face in glee.
"I don't know, Sarah. I am not prepared in the slightest. And Tommy's at work all day, it's Wednesday."
"John's getting him out of it right now," she winked.
"Good luck with that one," I snorted in disbelief.
"He'll be there. And besides, don't ya know Wednesday is one of the best days to get married?"
"What do you mean?"
"Ya never heard the saying? 'Marry on Monday for health, Tuesday for wealth, Wednesday the best day of all, Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses and Saturday for no luck at all?'"
"Never in my life."
"Well, it's what they say."
I looked down at Lizzie, grinning.
"I think your mother is a bit crazy."
"Hey!" Sarah scolded me as Lizzie and James burst into giggles. "None of that talk, do you want to get married today or not?"
"It's awfully rushed, I already said I'm not prepared," Lizzie peeled her way out of my arms as I stood up, brushing bits of wood off my skirt, "We're in no rush."
"Ellie, just do it!" Rose exclaimed, "I know you'll be all over me and the baby when the time comes, I say do it before I give birth."
"You both said you want nothing big anyway. And it won't be," Sarah stated, "It'll be sweet and simple. Ya have the chance, I reckon you take it."
I stood there in the middle of the room, taking in a deep breath to think. It honestly wasn't like we had too much to plan anyway, considering a lack of budget and lack of people to invite. Rose would be the only one from my family there, and just Sarah and John for Tommy. It would be a far cry from Rose's precious engagement, all of Philadelphia's society craving an invitation.
In the end, I guess I didn't know what we were waiting for anyway. We had just been so busy, him working long hours and me maintaining our little place and getting it all baby ready. It wasn't that we were choosing to put it off, things were just a bit chaotic.
"You're certain Tommy is up for this?"
"No doubt in my mind."
"This isn't happening in the church, is it?"
"Oh no," she shook her head vigorously, "He knows you're not Catholic and the activities you two have engaged in, he draws the line there."
"Jesus, how much did you tell the man?" I groaned. Rose let out a snicker.
"He asked for the details of your relationship before he agreed to anything! You won't see me lyin' to a priest."
"You Catholics are way too involved," I stated.
"Tis the way, dear. Now are we doing this or not?" her arms were crossed now, waiting impatiently for an answer.
"Yes, fine," I replied, "But I have no dress and we need to figure out where this is happening."
"We have time to get that all sorted," Sarah waved it off as if it wasn't a concern, "We just have to work quickly. Go get your shoes on and let's get out of here."
"I'm coming along too!" Rose proclaimed getting up from the couch. My eyes rolled towards her in annoyance.
"Rose, I don't want you walking all over the city in your condition."
"I'm fine," she hissed, "I'm not missing any part of my sister's wedding day just because I'm pregnant. You are not fighting me on this."
"You're going to push yourself, it's not-"
"It's just walking, Ellie!" she let out and exacerbated laugh, "I can walk, damnit! For once, enjoy yourself and give me some space. I have a few weeks left, I can handle it!"
There was a harshness in her voice that set me aback. I knew I had to let her have this one.
I would be the same way if I was the pregnant one.
"Alright, Rose. But please, if you feel off in anyway-"
"I'll be sure to let you know," she interrupted, giving me a little push, "Now go throw on some shoes and let's find a wedding dress for you! It's your day now."
"I guess it is," I found myself grinning sheepishly.
It was actually happening now. For years, this was a day I believed I would dread, always picturing myself marrying in order to fulfill a duty rather than out of love. Rose had taken that burden off my shoulders and once that happened, I was convinced it just wouldn't happen for me. I had started to accept that there was a strong possibility I would be alone.
I was so wrong.
Before I knew it, hours had gone by in a whirlwind and there I was, staring at a bride in a mirror. I left my hair loose and flowing, minimal makeup of course. I opted out of a veil, choosing just a white rose in my hair instead, and my dress was Sarah's doing, a gift from her. If wedding planning was to ever be a profession, she would be great at it. She had an eye for gowns. I only tried on three before I found one I fell in love with, which was one she picked off the rack. It was a cream silk with a lace overlay, and had these loose sleeves which gave off the effect of butterfly wings. The fitted bodice ended at the bust, giving the dress a high waisted look. The skirt flowed out, allowing me to move freely. Unlike more traditional gowns, this one had a little bit of a lower neckline. I preferred it to the high collared dresses, which reminded me of my mother's gown.
I couldn't help but think of her and my father. I had always imagined them here with me this day, her getting me ready and him walking me down the aisle proudly. It was moments like these when I wished life didn't play out the way it did. Through all their faults, they were still my parents.
"You're quiet, Ellie," Rose pointed out. I turned myself away from my reflection, "Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine," I stepped away from the mirror," I'm just a little overwhelmed."
It was just the two of us in the apartment. Sarah and the kids were meeting the priest and heading over to Central Park, the venue we settled on. It was cold, but it was no cost to get married there.
We were to be there before sunset and meet right in the glasshouse we got engaged in.
"That's perfectly normal," she gave me a small smile, "I would be concerned if you weren't."
"It's been such a whirlwind today," I paused briefly, "And I can't help but miss our parents."
"I understand," she placed her hand on my shoulder, "It's hard. I know how much you miss father."
"I always pictured him walking me down the aisle," I let out quietly, "It feels like something is missing."
"I'll walk you down the aisle."
"You would do that?"
"Of course!" She moved her hand from my shoulder to grip my hand tightly, "No need for you to walk alone."
"Thank you, Rose," I had to blink away tears as I brought her in for a tight embrace, "That means a lot to me."
"You don't need to thank me for that. I'm just sorry things turned out the way they did with both of them."
"Me too. Father can't be here, but mother could be if she wasn't the way she was," I could hear the bitterness in my voice. Rose nodded.
"It's her loss."
"I told her I would write her after the sinking, you know."
"Have you?"
"No," I shook my head, "Can't bring myself to do it. I am nothing but a disappointment to her, and I hold a lot of resentment."
"I understand. I wish I could see her again, but I don't trust her. If she knew I was alive, she would shuffle me back to Cal. I know it."
"You're not wrong," I sighed, "She's made her priorities clear throughout the years."
"She has. And now she's missing out on her daughter getting married," she placed her hands on my shoulders, "Don't let the lack of her presence ruin this for you."
"I'm trying."
"You look stunning."
"So do you. You're glowing."
It was true. She wore a long sleeve, cream, maternity dress, overlayed with pink chiffon. It was belted under the bust, accentuating her bump. The pink brought out the rosiness in her cheeks and the brightness of her auburn locks, which she wore half down, the other half pinned securely.
"Stop, I feel like a cow nowadays."
"Nonsense! You're the epitome of motherhood."
"Thanks," she smiled warmly, "But enough of that, it's about you today. Tommy won't be able to keep his hands off you when he sees you."
"He already can't help himself," I teased, causing her mouth to twist into a grin, "I hope John actually convinced him to leave work, I'd feel like a fool if we show up and he's not there."
"Don't be ridiculous, he'd jump on this chance to marry you."
"You think so?"
"Of course!" Rose nearly snorted, "He loves you, you two are meant for each other. I saw it from the very beginning."
I felt myself blush a bit.
"I really do love him so much."
"I know you do. I told you, you're like a school girl around him," she nudged me playfully, "I'm happy for you both."
"Thank you," I brought her in for another embrace. Having her support was certainly enough for me. As I held her, I suddenly felt her knees buckle, her body wince uncomfortably, "Rose, are you alright? What's wrong?"
"I'm alright," she stepped away, wiping sudden sweat from her forehead, "Just a strong kick from the little one is all."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, yes," she breathed deeply, "I'm fine, I promise. Just caught me off guard for a moment, I thought they were fast asleep in there."
"Alright," I couldn't help but narrow my eyes a bit on suspicion, "You better be honest with me."
"Oh for God's sake, Ellie," she rolled her eyes, retreating to the bedroom, "It's time we were off! I'm grabbing our coats."
"If you insist," I replied, looking at myself in the mirror one last time. I drew in a breath, taking it all in.
Next time I would see myself, I would be married.
"Ready to go?" Rose emerged, draping my fur coat, the same one I wore the night of the sinking, over my shoulder. I turned to her, nodding.
"Yes."
Sorry for the late update! My schedule hasn't been as open as it was, but I will try my best to update consistently! Again, I hope you are all enjoying and if you're reading, don't forget to drop a review! I love reading them!