Hi all! I'm sorry for such a late update. Life has been quite busy. When I'm not taking care of my toddler, I'm juggling a pet sitting gig which has turned into a part time job at this point, so I'm pretty occupied! But when I have bursts of energy, I do get motivation to write. So if you're still here, let me know and drop a review! You guys keep me motivated! And I promise if I go for awhile without writing, there will be an eventual update. I have plenty of ideas for this one I really want to play out, along with the other story I started as well. I'll be getting to that soon. Just wanted to let you guys know I'm here even though I'm not updating consistently! But please enjoy and if you're reading, let me know you're around! Thanks guys!

Chapter 16: Ellie

"Only in America could I have a steak in bed. I think I finally achieved the American dream."

"What, they don't have high class hotels in Ireland?"

"Nothing like this," Tommy stated, setting his empty plate on the side of the bed, leaning back on one of many pillows, "Should we thank Cal for the lovely room and dinner on his dime?"

"God, no," I gave him a playful kick in response.

It was a beautiful suite and it certainly had the Astor touch to it. The Knickerbocker had a reputation for having some of the largest parties and gatherings in the city, and there was actually quite a gap in the price of the rooms so people from all over could afford to stay while visiting. Astor was quite proud of it. If you were in the city, you were bound to hear about something happening in his hotel.

Tommy could have went for one of the cheaper rooms at three dollars a night, but he opted for one of the more expensive suites at fifteen dollars because, in his words, "It's my wedding night, damnit, and I ain't settlin' for less. For once in my life I can splurge."

The suite had a large sitting room, embellished with wide maroon walls with gold trim around, with a cream marble fireplace being the centerpiece. There was a desk provided if you were here for work, and a large olive sofa, which looked as if it had barely been sat on. The bedroom had sage green walls, same gold trim. The dark violet sheets were made of silk that felt so cool and smooth to the touch, bringing me back to the lifestyle I had before meeting Tommy. And of course, there was a large bathroom with a deep claw foot tub I already had my eye on.

It was jarring thinking this was something that was once normal to me. Now, a room like this truly felt special. Having a room service order with steak, potatoes, oysters, and shrimp cocktail on top of it really made the evening feel like a true indulgence. There was a bottle of champagne we were gifted as well, the two of us already went through about half of it.

"Consider it his wedding gift to us," Tommy grinned.

"If you insist," I shrugged as I slurped one of the last of my oysters. He grimaced.

"I can't believe you eat those things."

"They're delicious!"

"And raw."

"Suit yourself," I replied, slurping another, "They're an aphrodisiac, you know."

"A what?"

"An aphrodisiac."

"What's that mean?"

"Something that increases one's sexual desire," I responded in my huskiest tone, taking the bottle of champagne out of his hand to take a swig. His eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

"Oh come on."

"It's the truth!"

"I don't believe that one for a second."

"Then we can put it to the test whenever you like," I set the tray of empty oyster shells on the floor, the bottle of champagne on my end table.

"I have all night to ravage you, Mrs. Ryan, no need to rush," he pulled me close to him, and I rested my head on his chest, "I'd like to admire you in that dress for a bit longer."

"Admire me all you want, it's the only time you'll ever see me in it."

"Well I'd hope so. I'd question you otherwise," he reached into the pocket of his suit jacket for a cigar I didn't know he was carrying, "Smoke?" he offered with a smirk before lighting it with a match.

"No thanks," I nudged him begrudgingly.

"Glad to see you're saying no this time. Didn't exactly handle it well before."

"Well I no longer need to try to impress you."

"What?" He laughed, almost going into a coughing fit as he inhaled his first drag, "That's what that was about when we first met? You were trying to impress me?"

"Of course! I didn't want to look like some sheltered first class girl, I wanted to fit in."

"Jesus," he shook his head, still smiling before taking in another drag, "El, you didn't have to do a damn thing."

"Is that so?"

"Yes! God, I wanted you from the moment I laid eyes on ya."

"Really?"

"Of course I did," he ruffled my hair, "I remember it clearly, it was the day I got on Titanic."

"I don't remember this."

"You wouldn't, you probably didn't even notice me," he chuckled, "I was out on deck with Jack and Fabrizio, first time meetin' them actually. I was talkin' to Fabri about how Titanic was an Irish ship, Jack was drawing this father and daughter he was watching. He was a talented artist, honestly. His work blew me away. It was just...so real. Raw. Could've really gotten far with that," he sighed taking in more of the cigar, "Anyway, your sister came out on the upper deck, and he could not look away. I mean was smitten. I told him forget it, angels would have to fly out of his arse to get to the likes of her," he paused for a moment, looking at me then, "And then you came out and I had to eat my words."

"I think that's when she finally admitted to me she didn't love Cal," I began to recall.

"It looked like a pretty intense discussion you were havin. I couldn't keep my eyes off ya. You had this mint green dress on, hair down, blowin' in the wind. And I just thought 'Wow. If only I had the chance to say just one word to a lass like that.'"

"You weren't kidding, you do remember clearly," I grinned.

"You don't forget seeing a woman like yourself for the first time," he replied, taking in a few more hits of the cigar, growing smaller.

"I vaguely remember catching you with your eyes on me," I teased, "You intrigued me."

"I intrigued you?"

"You did. Your smile drew my attention," I trailed my finger across his lips, getting him to give me that crooked smirk I loved.

"Well you intimidated me. Big time. When you came down to third class, I recognized you immediately and knew I had to talk to ya. And when you actually reciprocated, I thought 'holy shit, she's actually talking to me.' I knew you were special then. It didn't take me long to fall in love you."

"Same goes for me," I replied, not taking my eyes off him, "When did you know?"

"The night of the sinking, when you told me everything that happened with your father and what your mother dragged you and Rose through...I learned then money didn't solve all the world's problems. And I knew at that moment you didn't find yourself worthy of love. And how could you when you were just shown off from one man to the next?"

"You're not wrong. Despite all of that, I wish my parents were here today."

"I get that," he sighed, "Wish my family we here too," he held me close, leaning over to put the cigar out before kissing the top of my head, "They'd love ya."

"Maybe one day we can visit them."

"Maybe," he shrugged, "We'll see. Be better off if I could send them all here."

"One day you might be able to," I said, my fingers slowly tracing the top of his chest, peeking through the few loose buttons on his shirt, "You're the most courageous man I've met, you know."

"How's that?"

"You left your whole entire life, your whole family behind you in search for something better on your own on a whole other continent."

"Eh my father would've beat the crap out of me if I didn't take the chance," he smirked, "And it's not like I didn't know anyone here, I had Sarah."

"Yes, who you hadn't seen in over a decade. Almost a stranger if you ask me."

"Still not completely alone."

"And still courageous," I nudged him, "Give yourself some credit."

"You did the same thing, goin' off with me no less. I was a stranger to you too."

"Sure," I interlaced my fingers with his, "But you made me feel loved and I trusted you."

"You were someone that needed and deserved to be loved. And I didn't want anyone else to do it."

"Why's that?"

"Because no one could do a better job than me," he grinned, "I don't trust anyone else. I didn't want to let you go then, and now I never will," he paused for a moment, "I hate what happened that night. It still haunts me. I can't remember the last time I had a full night's sleep."

"You never talked to me about that."

"Well not exactly pleasant to bring in up in conversation, ya know? But even so, I'm thankful I found you. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"You're the best thing that's happened to me," I held onto his hand tight, looking into his eyes, "I love you."

"I love you too, wife."

"Husband," I could feel myself beaming.

"I like the sound of that."

"Me too," I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him deeply, drawing myself as close to him as I could.

The intensity of what I was feeling was burning so deep within me, even more than the first time we made love after Titanic sank. The emotions ran high then, but it was almost out of craving comfort, not just a wanting. When we got engaged, I thought I couldn't possibly love him anymore than I did that night. But now, I was proven wrong. Having him as my husband had opened up a new door, the vulnerability of telling the world our feelings brought us together in a way I couldn't imagine. I didn't believe getting married would make me feel such a way. I always downplayed it, thinking it didn't really matter, for it was just the legal way of doing things. Seeing the marriage between my parents almost felt transactional- my father had his way of doing things, and my mother had hers. There was an understanding between them.

What we had was different. We had gotten married for all the right reasons, societal values be damned.

I couldn't get close enough to him, even with my body under him at this point. As our kissing grew more intense, the fire inside me burned more. With Rose living with us, it had been months since we've had the chance to be this close.

It was enough to drive me mad.

His hand entangled in my hair, I nearly tore the buttons off his shirt. My hand ran down his chest, firmer from working long days at the steel, his arms stronger. It was nice that the absurd hours he was working had at least some benefit.

His kisses trailed from neck to collar bone as he undid the buttons on the back of my dress, fingers fumbling to unlace my corset.

"You have too many damn layers on," he mumbled.

"Don't worry about it," I replied almost breathlessly, hiking my dress up, "Take me now. I can't wait."

"Impatient, are we?" he flashed a grin.

"Don't tease me," I demanded, crashing my lips back onto his. I guided his hand between my thighs, making it clear how much I wanted, or honestly in this case, needed him. My desire ached deep within me.

For most of my life, I was brought up to believe sex was just something done to bear children and men were the only ones to get something out of it. Being with Tommy taught me there was far more to it than that. There was sex, and then there was making love. He explored my body in ways I never imagined it could be explored, touching me in places I didn't dare venture to. I learned what true pleasure really was through him. It was easy to let myself be so vulnerable.

Each time was better than the last. And the way we made love that night was something I would remember the rest of my life.

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