Obviously I don't own any of these characters, or else this wouldn't be marked as fanfiction :)

Harry stumbled through the halls, dreading what he was about to see. Limping through the corridor, he reached the Great Hall and opened the door. It was as he feared. Deathly silence. He looked to his right. Ginny lay there, her face pale, her hair dull, and her mouth open in a never-ending silent scream. She clutched her wand in a tight grip, as if she went down fighting. Next to her was Neville, defiant in death, still holding the Sword of Gryffindor. Perhaps he had just killed Nagini.

Harry walked by body after body, all people he recognized and knew. Professor Sprout, Parvati Patil, Mrs. Weasley. He reached the end. Lying side by side was Ron and Hermione, hands clasped, destined to be together in the afterlife. To the left of them, though, were people Harry hadn't seen in the living flesh since he was a baby.

James and Lily Potter lay peacefully, but in the middle of them, Harry's own cold dead face stared back at him. He wanted desperately to stumble back, to run away, but his feet felt stuck to the floor. Harry watched on in horrible fear as his dead self's eyes opened. They were bright red. Dead Harry's mouth opened to reveal rotting teeth as he sneered,

"Always."

Harry jolted awake, sweating bullets. Nightmare, nightmare, nightmare, he insisted quietly to himself as he gathered his bearings. He was in the 8th year Gryffindor boys dorm. Ron wasn't dead, he was snoring in the bed next to him. Hermione, Ginny, Neville… all of them, not dead. Harry's parents were dead, of course, but Harry wasn't dead and he had his mother's green eyes, not red ones. Harry's heartbeat slowed and he wiped his sleeve across his forehead.

It has been like this for weeks now. While Harry's scar had stopped hurting, his mind still stored memories that could be spun into nightmares that pained him just as much. Harry figured they wouldn't go away anytime soon, and had decided to accept them. He didn't want to ask Madam Pomfrey for help; he didn't need yet another person fussing over him.

Knowing there was no way he was falling back asleep, Harry stared at the ceiling, alone with his thoughts until light shone through the curtains. He got out of bed and began going through his morning routine, making sure to be as quiet as possible. While he was brushing his teeth, Ron woke up.

"Alright, mate?" He asked blearily. Harry only nodded in response. "Nightmare?" He didn't reply, rinsing his mouth and staring fixedly at the sink. Ron sighed. "Look, if you don't want to go to Pomfrey, Hermione can always make a Sleeping Draught for —"

"I'm fine, Ron!" Harry snapped. He left the bathroom leaving Ron staring sadly at his friend.

Harry was one of the first ones at breakfast. House tables didn't exist anymore. The four tables had disappeared, replaced by a huge wooden square table. Most people ate with friends from other Houses. It was meant to be a show of House unity, especially after high anti-Slytherin prejudice. Harry privately thought that while Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs, and Ravenclaws mingled a lot more, Slytherins still held their own corner in the back of the Great Hall, and Harry knew that the majority of the school still disliked or hated the emerald-green House.

Food was already piled onto the golden plates, so Harry sat down in his normal seat and started buttering some toast.

"Hey," Ginny said tiredly, pouring some Cheeri-Owls into a bowl.

"Morning," Harry replied around a mouthful of toast.

He always silently thanked Ginny whenever she was around. She had enough sense to not pry or fuss about the bags under his eyes or his rumpled clothes. Occasionally, Harry's darker thoughts would intrude and make him wonder if this was simply because she didn't care. After all, even though they'd decided in the end to remain friends (for reasons Harry had yet to unpack), he thought sometimes Ginny resent him. However, at least once a day, she would give him a tiny smile or small nod and Harry would banish these thoughts from his brain. He wasn't alone.

Neville sat down next to him and promptly let out a huge yawn.

"Out late?" Ginny asked wryly.

"Merlin's bloody pants, Gin, it was just a walk!" Neville groaned.

"Sure, if you say so…" she grinned. "Neville came back late and I could hear Luna outside," Ginny explained to Harry's raised eyebrow.

"Harry," Hermione said briskly as she sat down across from him, "Ron, err… told me what happened. If you really need, I could —"

"I have to get to Transfiguration," Harry interrupted, swallowing a final bite of breakfast before gathering his bags and leaving. As he walked out, he heard Ginny say,

"Merlin, Hermione, he doesn't need you prying." Thanks, Gin.

Harry moved sluggishly through the rest of the day. He could only muster up so much energy to pay attention to Professor McGonagall lecturing them about turning a toad into a toadstool, much less attempt it. She must have noticed because she pulled him aside after class with a concerned expression Harry had seen too many times.

"Mr. Potter, are you quite all right?"

"I'm fine, Professor," Harry mumbled wearily.

"Are you sure, because —"

"Yes, I'm fine," Harry sighed. McGonagall continued to stare sadly at him before letting him hurry on to Potions. She knew Harry was hiding something, he was sure, but she didn't pry either. Harry made a mental note to thank her along with Ginny.

Potions was actually a little bit easier now. Although Harry didn't fancy Slughorn's attention, at least he wasn't as nasty as Snape. Snape, who'd been fighting for Harry that whole time because he'd simply loved Lily. Always.

The Slytherins didn't make snide remarks or jeer from across the room anymore. They'd been subdued ever since eighth year started. Even Malfoy always had a weary, almost depressed aura around him all the time. Harry realized it made him pity Draco.

Every muscle in Harry's body stiffened as he realized what the lesson was on. Wolfsbane Potion. All of Harry's memories of Remus John Lupin hit him hard, and he stumbled a bit before shoving down the memories and hot tears. No. He was fine.

Harry had to painfully stuff his grief down for the rest of the period. He refused to break down in front of Slughorn, Malfoy, and all of his other classmates. When Potions ended, though, he packed up as quickly as possible and walked hurriedly out of the dungeon, struggling to not emotionally explode. He calmed down once he was further away, pretending that he left the pain behind. Harry knew that this wasn't true, but he was allowed to delude himself, wasn't he?

Harry sat with his usual friends at lunch, tuning out their conversation. He noticed Ron and Hermione begin to talk to him several times but quickly think better of it. Harry was glad; he wasn't in the mood to talk.

He left for Herbology quickly after lunch. Professor Sprout's lesson was revision about dittany, and Harry remembered the time dittany was used to save Ron's life as he lay bleeding out, a clean chunk of flesh Splinched out of his arm in the forest.

Throughout the class, he saw Hermione continuously glancing worriedly at him. She did that a lot, Harry assured himself; she would know better than to speak up.

Harry was free after Herbology and fancied himself a walk. He'd been outside a lot more than usual; he found that the fresh air was calming and helped with the turmoil in his mind. It was simply a plus that his friends (or anyone else, for that matter) weren't interested, choosing to study instead. At least, that's what they said; Harry suspected that his friends just preferred to leave him be.

He took his normal route around the castle, pausing to gaze at the lake. The giant squid was propelling himself lazily across the water. Harry envied the squid a bit; it led a simple tranquil life, hugely unlike him.

A nearby group of second-years approached the lake and tossed some leftover food to the squid, laughing as it stuck out a tentacle to catch the meal. Harry saw a small girl with big brown eyes staring unnervingly at him and quickly kept walking.

He continued his path around the castle, erasing the girl's look from his mind. He got it a lot, unfortunately, mainly from third-years and younger. One time, though, a sixth year cornered him and was uncomfortably close before Malfoy of all people had cursed her off. They didn't talk even then, simply exchanging nods and silent thank-yous and your-welcomes before parting ways. It was a strange moment. The Malfoy that Harry knew would've passed by with barely a glance and a laugh.

Before going in, Harry stopped at his other favorite spot: a simple view of the side of the castle. It was still being rebuilt, with several huge holes caused by curses. A bit higher up, though, the castle was pristine, sparkling windows reflecting the slowly setting sun. Unlike the squid, this part of the castle reminded Harry of himself a lot. Saviour of the Wizarding World, powerful wizard, yet with a part of his soul that felt like it was missing something.

Harry went inside and washed up before dinner. It was the same then as it was at lunch; he ignored everyone and everyone ignored him. Harry felt happy, or at least peaceful by the time he walked back to the common room; he had almost a whole day all to himself.

He should've known his luck would run out.

"Harry, will you please talk to us?" Hermione burst out as he entered. "Yes, you had another nightmare. We could help you!"

"Hermione, I don't need you helping! I'm fine!" Harry retorted.

"No you're not," Ron shot back. "We've seen you every day, Harry, you are not fine!"

"I know myself well enough and I think I would know if I was okay or not!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, you are damn well not okay!" Ron persisted. "Stop denying it!"

"Let us help, Harry, we're your friends, please just —" Hermione pleaded.

"I AM NOT YOUR PET. I HAVE BEEN PERFECTLY FINE FOR WEEKS, I DON'T NEED YOUR CONSTANT NAGGING," Harry roared. "I DON'T NEED YOU TO GET ON MY CASE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY BLOODY DAY! JUST GET ON WITH YOUR LIVES AND FORGET ABOUT ME." Harry breathed heavily through his nose as Ron and Hermione stared at him in shock and sadness.

"Just leave me alone," Harry said finally and walked up to his dorm.

As he dressed for bed, Harry was still fuming with anger. Can't they see? He thought. I don't need them and they don't need me. And yet, they just don't understand. No one understands.

Thanks for reading chappie 1! If you liked it, consider reviewing please! They make my day :)